The Saga of Sakumo
by Iruka Sensei871
Summary: Sakumo and Kakashi had a good relationship until Sakumo's failed mission and attempted suicide forced them apart. AU Kept people in character but changed the timeline. UPDATED WARNINGS! Character Death. Added Kaka/Anko and Sakumo/Tsu. Slutty Tsunade. Changed rating to M for sexual tension and boobs.
1. Chapter 1

By the time Kakashi was seven Sakumo had developed a sort of ritual. When he knew his son would be returning from a mission he would sit up waiting for him to get home. Depending on his mood, Kakashi would talk to his father about the mission, or he'd sit and brood. Either way, Sakumo made sure he was there as often as possible so that when Kakashi's questions needed answers he could have them.

It was a cold, sharp night when Sakumo saw his son change. It was one of those painful parts of life reserved for ninjas.

He knew something was wrong when Kakashi tossed his Wolf mask onto the coffee table. It slid across the table and onto the floor, making a "chick" sound as it hit the wood. Kakashi didn't even glance at it.

Kakashi always took care of his equipment religiously. The family had a history of OCD, but it didn't seem to be causing any trouble, so Sakumo let his son have his eccentricities.

The mask lay on the floor, neglected. Kakashi removed his hitai-ate and vest, placing them on the table with more respect. He pulled off his many weapons and put them on the table without saying a word to Sakumo. Kakashi glanced down at the mask and walked away from it toward the bathroom.

Sakumo heard water running in the bathroom, and he went to the mask. It flashed its alabaster face at him from the floor. He'd never liked his son joining ANBU so young, but he hadn't said anything. Kakashi was determined to be the best, and it helped Konoha to have him gain so much experience so early.

Sakumo picked up the mask. He rubbed a bit of blood from the edge with his thumb. He hadn't noticed any injuries on his son, but he would ask when Kakashi got out of the shower. The boy was already notorious for neglecting his body on missions. Several medic nins had grudges against him, and he'd been asked to speak to his son on multiple occasions. He had spoken to him, of course, but such things would be learned in their own time.

He placed the mask with Kakashi's other things and made some tea. Kakashi came out, and Sakumo looked over him quickly. He was just wearing boxers, and Sakumo saw with relief that there weren't any bandages. Still, he felt the need to ask.

"I saw blood on your mask," he said. "Were you injured?" His heart beat a little faster. It was silly, and he knew it. Kakashi was tougher than most adult ninjas, and he didn't need his father fussing over him. Sakumo couldn't help it. No matter what his son became, he would always be his little boy.

"It's not my blood," Kakashi said.

"That's good," his father said. He waited for his tea to cool a bit. He knew by now that pushing Kakashi to talk would just make him quiet. He would speak when he was ready to, and more than likely it would be a flood of observations and questions.

By the time Kakashi decided to speak they had both finished their tea and begun on a second cup.

"Dad, did you ever think about refusing an order?" Kakashi asked. He looked at the table, his wet hair obscuring his face.

"Every ninja has missions that test his loyalty. I've had them. What happened?"

"I barely finished the mission," Kakashi said. "I thought I might not be able to carry it out."

"But you completed the mission. That matters in the end," his father said. "You were a tool that was used for its purpose."

He saw Kakashi's hand tighten around his cup. "I killed a little girl," he said quietly. "I had to."

_Oh fuck,_ Sakumo thought. He took a long drink of tea to stall for a bit of time before he answered. It was a delicate time in his son's life, and he wanted to make sure he had the right answers for him.

"Was it the goal of your mission?" his father asked.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "She was an heiress, and her uncle was next in line to take over the family when his brother dies. He's first in line now, and his brother is ill."

"I see," Sakumo said. "And you considered refusing to kill her?" He wanted to tell his son how proud he was that such a young child would question authority at that age instead of blindly following orders, but he wanted to get more information first. He didn't want to speak too quickly.

"She was so little and pretty," Kakashi said. "We opened our orders right before we went into the village. I had to do it."

"Why did your team let you do that?" Sakumo asked. "Why didn't one of them kill her?" _What sort of demented fuck lets his seven-year old teammate kill a child when he could take that burden from him?_

"They didn't want to let me do it," Kakashi said. "They argued about it, but the intelligence folder said that she was well guarded, and the only way into her room was a heating grate I could barely fit through. It was the only way to get to her, and I was the only one small enough to do it."

"We can't judge the morality of our mission. You know that," Sakumo said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "That's what I kept telling myself."

"And now you wonder how you can live with yourself," Sakumo said.

"You know then?" Kakashi asked.

"Of course I know," Sakumo said. "I've done things on missions that might make you disgusted to even know me. There are times when I wake up at night with them on my mind, and all I can think about is how much I hate myself. It doesn't change the fact that I followed my orders, and that's all I can do."

"Is there ever a time you'd disobey an order?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "I'd like to say no, but there are things I just couldn't do."

"Dad, I think I'm a bad person," Kakashi said. "I don't like that. I wanted to be like you and Sensei. I don't think you two would have killed her."

Sakumo avoided the obvious answer. Of course they would have followed that mission's parameters. If he was just ordered to kill her it wasn't actually a cruel mission. Sakumo had done worse.

"Did you enjoy hurting her?" Sakumo asked.

"God no!" Kakashi said, obviously shocked.

"Did you show her as much kindness as you could?"

"I made sure she didn't know I was there. She died in her sleep. It was all I could do for her."

"A bad person would have woken her to let her know she was going to die. You showed mercy, and that's a sign of strong character."

"I'm afraid I'm going to become the kind of person who could do that and not care," Kakashi said.

"Those exist," his father said. "I hope it doesn't happen."

"How do I keep from becoming that person?" Kakashi asked. He finally looked up from staring at the table, and his father could see the anguish in his eyes. Sakumo's blinked away tears. _My poor boy, _he thought.

"You make yourself into a person you can be proud of, and you take that person with you wherever you go. When you have to do something for a mission that isn't like who you want to be, make sure you understand why you're doing it. I don't mean the logical reason; I mean the emotional one. Remember that it's mission parameters, not you. When you come home, leave that part of yourself on the battlefield."

"Do you do that?" Kakashi asked.

"In theory," his father said, remembering the many slips of morality he'd had over the years. Things he'd done in the field had changed how he viewed life at times. He'd been bitter for a time when he was younger, but he'd decided to serve his village and try to be the kind of man he wanted his son to be someday.

"There are too many times when things follow me home," he said, thinking of a similar mission he'd had the year before. Political families had no problem hiring ninjas to kill children, and he had bitter about the thing for months. He'd never really resolved those feelings so much as shut them away.

"We're ninjas son. We do horrible things for a living. It's the only way our village survives. If we wanted to be warriors fighting endless battles for good against evil we would have been Samurai."

Kakashi shuddered. Samurai were nobility, trapped in their life of bushido. Ninjas had their own way of the ninja, but bushido was something foreign to him.

"We are tools of the village, not nobles playing with weapons," his father said. "You did the best you could for the girl. Preserve that part of yourself that would give mercy whenever able and you'll be a good person."

He saw Kakashi relax. "Did that help?" he asked.

"A little," Kakashi said.

"Do you want to spar in the morning?" Sakumo asked. "You always feel better after that."

"I do," Kakashi said. "I need to handle something first. Would you be ashamed of me if I resigned from ANBU?"

"I'd be glad," Sakumo said. "ANBU have the dirtiest missions. I didn't want to get in the way of your career, but I'd rather see you just be a ninja for now. It's enough for a boy your age."

"Thanks Dad. I'm going to turn in my mask in the morning."

"I support that," Sakumo said. "Your uncle will too."

"I'm glad," Kakashi said. "I don't want Oji-Jiraiya to be ashamed of me."

Sakumo rolled his eyes. "You don't have to worry about that. You're uncle loves you so much he still annoys people with your baby pictures."

"What?" Kakashi squeaked. "Not the naked ones in the tub?"

Sakumo smiled, glad that he had pulled his son from his funk for the moment. "Yes. Every whore in town has seen those pictures."

Kakashi blushed. "I wish you'd never taken those. I'm going to have to speak with Oji-Jiraiya about that."

"Good luck with that. Maybe if you gave him some current pictures he'd show those around."

Kakashi grumbled about his uncle, and Sakumo let him worry about his silly, normal problem. When Kakashi went to bed Sakumo sat up long after Kakashi's light had gone out, thinking about what it meant to be a ninja, and what it meant to be the father of one.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I didn't set out to do a Sakumo and Kakashi series. It just happened. It was going to be separate stories, but I'm going to combine them into a chaptered fic from now on. Please review. You guys are my muse.

This is AU. Sakumo's suicide fails, and from here on out I'll keep it close to the manga, but different. I'm keeping everyone in character, but the timeline will be different for some of the characters.

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Sakumo sat in the foyer of the Hokage's office with his head in his hands. His mission had been a disaster, but as he played it over in his head he couldn't think of what else he could have done. Tsume would have died. There was no way he could have completed the mission and saved her.

_I should have let her die, _he thought, trying to make himself believe what he'd been taught all his life. The mission came first; he knew that. He'd followed orders to the letter most of his life, and the one time he really went against mission parameters it cost Konoha an entire battle. So many ninjas had died, directly because of his actions. He would never be able to forgive himself for those lost lives.

The receptionist had always had a thing for him, but now she didn't even want to talk to him. He tried to catch her eye, just to have some human contact, but she turned away from him swiftly and shuffled paperwork on an already perfectly organized desk.

Sakumo wondered what the Hokage was going to do to him. He could be thrown in jail, demoted, or worse. _I might live this down in time, _he thought, but then he chided himself for trying to deny reality. If there was one thing he was proud of about himself it was that he was a logical, rational man.

_I have to face facts, _he thought. He tried to remember who was on the mission he had compromised. He knew Ibiki Moreno has been caught, but he didn't know if he was alive or dead.

_My intell could have saved him, _Sakumo thought, but he just hadn't had it in him to sacrifice Tsume. He didn't know why; it wasn't something he had decided. He had simply grabbed her and ran. He could have attacked and killed the five ninjas that surrounded them easily, but they would have killed her. He had calculated all the angles instantly, just like always, and there were only two options. He ran and Tsume lived, or he fought and Tsume died.

Jiraiya was out there somewhere. Sakumo could only hope that his brother was still alive. It was enough that he would lose the respect of the village. He could only hope his family would stand by him. He didn't expect them to support his actions – just to keep him in their hearts fondly.

"The Hokage will see you now," the secretary said. She spoke as if they had never met. To hear her talk to him now it would almost seem as if they hadn't spent a few wild nights together three years ago.

Sandaime leaned back in his chair and tapped his pen on his desk. "I have no idea what to do about this," he said. "You've never failed a mission, and now you deliberately threw one away for one life."

He pushed forward a piece of paper covered in handwriting. "This is the preliminary list of the dead caused by the failure of your mission."

"Is Jiraiya's name on there?" Sakumo asked.

"You should be asking me if the village lost anyone vital to the war effort," Sandaime said. "I never would have thought it, but you have lost my respect. Go to your house and stay there until I send for you."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sakumo said quietly. As he walked home he looked at the ground, not wanting to see the looks directed at him. It wasn't long ago that he would have walked down this street watched by women who wanted his body, men who wanted his reputation, and children who just wanted to be like him.

He heard murmurs around him. They grew louder as he walked, but he pretended not to hear them.

"Dian died because of him," a woman said behind him.

"He should be dead, not my Elian," someone else said.

An old woman blocked the way. "Traitor," she hissed. "How could you?"

He stood quietly, letting her berate him and hearing the villagers around them growing louder. There was every chance that the angry mob might just kill him, but he didn't even try to move on. He almost hoped that they did kill him. It would solve so many problems.

"That's enough," he heard a familiar voice say. He looked up to see Kakashi's angry face. He was obviously just back from his mission, his clothes still filthy and blood-stained.

"Go home," he hissed at his father. "You're making a spectacle of yourself."

The crowd dispersed, but some of the followed at a distance. Sakumo felt a large rock hit him in the back, but he didn't turn around to see who threw it.

Kakashi spun around. "Stop it!" he yelled.

"He deserves to die," the old woman from earlier yelled.

"Let the Hokage decide what he deserves," Kakashi said.

When he got home Sakumo more fell that sat on the couch. "I'm ruined," he said. "I'll never be anything in this village again."

"What the hell were you thinking?" Kakashi asked. "You were the one who taught me about following orders. I believed in you."

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said. "It was just something that happened. I know it was wrong."

"I would have let my team die before I failed a mission that would have saved hundreds of Konoha lives."

Sakumo felt his last hope falter. Not even Kakashi would stand by him. "Why don't you go stay with a friend tonight?" he asked. "There's no reason for you to suffer."

"That would probably be a good idea," Kakashi said. "I need some time to think."

Sakumo didn't know what to do with himself. All the little things he usually did after a mission seemed empty right now. There was no need to clean his weapons. He'd probably never use them again. Getting cleaned up even seemed like a waste of time.

Kakashi bathed and packed a bag. He didn't say anything to his father, but Sakumo felt like he needed to let his son know he was free of him if he needed to be.

"Kakashi, I have something I need to say to you," Sakumo said. "Wait a moment."

"Yes?" Kakashi asked. His face was cold and impassive.

"I'm sorry this will impact you," Sakumo said. "You're the most important person in my life, and I know you'll be paying for my failure now. Be a strong ninja and a good man, and forget me."

"What?" Kakashi asked. "What are you talking about?"

"The village is going to shun me at best," Sakumo said. "I might even be executed. Who knows? If you turn away from me too you might just keep your own reputation."

Kakashi dropped his bag. "I was just mad. You're my father. I'm not going to forget you."

Sakumo felt a surge of hope. "Then you understand?" he asked. "I don't ask you to stand by me, but you understand?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I'll never understand, but you're my father."

"I see," Sakumo said. "Thank you for at least still caring for me. I would like to be alone tonight."

"But Dad," Kakashi started.

"No," Sakumo said. "I have a lot to think about, and you should be with your friends. Go stay with Obito. I like that boy. He's kind."

"I'll be home tomorrow," Kakashi said.

Sakumo waited until Kakashi left and sat on the couch turning his tanto over in his hands. He would be a burden on Kakashi for the rest of his life now.

He'd always been one to make a quick decision, and he raised the weapon high above him so he could use as much force as possible. He decided to meditate for just a moment, to think about the afterlife. He pulled into himself, far away from the world where everything was black and quiet.

He plunged the tanto toward his stomach, feeling time slow in perspective. A sense of peace filled him as the weapon moved closer to freeing him. He felt pain as it sliced into his skin, but something went wrong. Strong hands threw him across the room, and when he opened his eyes Kakashi was holding him down, his eyes wide with fear and disbelief.

"You shouldn't have stopped me," Sakumo said. "This is what needs to happen."

Kakashi let his father go, but Sakumo lay on the floor.

"I don't think you cut yourself too deeply," Kakashi said, "but that's still a lot of blood. I'm going to go get Rin. She won't tell anyone if I ask her not too."

"Get Rin if you must," Sakumo said. "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

Kakashi backed away from his father, keeping him in sight. He pulled the rope off the drapes. "I'll fight you if I have to, but you're worn out and injured. You can't beat me. Let me tie you up, or I'll do it by force."

Sakumo lay there and let his son bind him. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

"Dad, just stay there," Kakashi said. "Please don't do this again. I love you."

Sakumo and his son had never actually said those words to each other. They knew, of course. It just wasn't something they said.

"I love you too, son," Sakumo said. "I did this for you."

"Don't say that," Kakashi said. "Don't ever say that."

Sakumo lay and thought about his mistakes after Kakashi left. He didn't struggle against his bonds. He had obviously caused Kakashi more pain than he'd thought.

_How could I think he'd be glad I was dead? _Sakumo wondered. _Is this what it feels like to be insane?_

When Kakashi came back with Rin she gasped. "Sakumo-san?" she asked.

Kakashi untied his father so Rin could work on him properly. She pulled off his vest and shirt, and she placed her hands over the wound. The glow of chakra surrounded her hands, and she worked on him for a few minutes.

"He won't die," she said to Kakashi. "There's some blood loss, but he'll be ok."

"Thank you Rin," Kakashi said. "Could you leave us now?"

"Please promise me you won't try that again," Kakashi said. His father thought he sounded much younger than he was.

"I won't," Sakumo said. "I'm afraid what will happen if I live is much worse than what would happen if I was dead, but if it causes you this much pain I will live."

"That's all I can ask," Kakashi said. "I'll speak with the Hokage tomorrow. He might listen to me."

"Don't," Sakumo said. "You need to distance yourself from me."

"No," Kakashi said. "That's out of the question. Let's get some sleep and talk about it in the morning. You'll think more clearly then."

Sakumo didn't want to argue any more. He was so tired, and Kakashi wasn't going to budge on this. He knew it was insane anyway, trying to convince his son to let him kill himself.

He went to his room and lay down, but Kakashi came in after him. He sat against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Sakumo said.

"Keeping an eye on you," Kakashi said.

"You need sleep too," Sakumo said.

"I'm afraid if I go to sleep I'll wake up and see you in a pool of blood. I couldn't forgive myself for that."

This time Sakumo did argue with him. He didn't want Kakashi sitting up all night after he had already been in a mission, but Kakashi won. Sakumo finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion and weakness from blood loss.

When he woke Kakashi was still leaning against the wall, watching him. "Do you feel any better?" he asked.

"I'm feeling more rational, if that's what you mean," Sakumo said. "We need to speak seriously about your future."

"My future?" Kakashi asked. "I'm not the one with the just healed gut wound. I think you're future is the one you need to worry about."

"I don't think I have a future," Sakumo said. "I'm only concerned about you right now. I know that you care about me. That's enough to keep me going. I'll always know that my son loves me. What else could a father really want?"

"I don't understand what you're trying to tell me," Kakashi said.

"Distance yourself from me in public," Sakumo said. "I know how you feel about me."

"I told you no already," Kakashi said.

"I'll do whatever is necessary to protect you," Sakumo said. "Either you move out and avoid me for at least a few years, or I'll kill myself. You can't watch me all the time. It's for you, Kakashi. I've messed up everything in my life. Let me at least succeed in this."

"Can I at least stay a few days?" Kakashi asked. "I don't want to leave you like this."

"No," Sakumo said. "The next few days might be the end for me, and I want you to be clear of me if I'm executed or imprisoned."

They had one last breakfast together; or rather they both sat and stared at cereal until it grew soggy and warm.

"Goodbye Dad," Kakashi said as he left. "I'm only doing this because I believe you really will kill yourself if I don't. When this blows over I'm coming back."

Sakumo smiled at his son. "Follow your own way of the ninja. I'll be watching."


	3. Chapter 3

The house felt so empty after Kakashi left, and it wasn't the sort of empty when a person leaves and is coming back. Sakumo thought it felt like a mausoleum – his own living tomb. _This place will never feel like home again, _he thought.

The next morning the he heard the front door shut, and he almost stayed in bed. It wasn't that he wanted to avoid Kakashi, but he didn't want to see that pain in his eyes again and know that he'd caused that pain.

_Things were so simple when he was young, _Sakumo thought. _I was his hero, and he was my reason to live. I fucked everything up. It might be kinder just to let him go without speaking to him, _he thought, but he went to the living room anyway. He wanted to see him one last time.

Kakashi was packing bags, and it was obvious that he was going to be away for some time.

"Where are you staying?" Sakumo asked.

"Ibiki Moreno's parents are letting me stay with them. They're upset about what happened to Ibiki, and I'm going to help them out. There's still some hope he might be retrieved, but not much."

_Ibiki wouldn't be gone if it wasn't for me, _Sakumo thought. He remembered Ibiki - the class clown. He was always in trouble, but there was something so charming about him that he just couldn't stay in trouble. If he was alive he was probably being tortured by Rock ninjas, and he would never be the same again.

"His parents are elderly, aren't they?" Sakumo asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "They need someone younger living with them to help out. I was staying over at Asuma's, but I don't think I could live with the Hokage right now. I'd end up bitter when he punishes you. We'd have words, at least."

"Don't be bitter because of me. This is your village, and it's my own fault I'm hated now. Let Ibiki's parents take you in. I'm surprised they aren't resentful that you're my son. It's my fault they lost their own. You can be what they lost, and they can be what you lost."

"I haven't lost anything," Kakashi said. "I'll never call anyone else Father, no matter what happens."

Sakumo couldn't help but smile. His son was still his son. That was something to remember later.

"Jiraiya should be back next week, if he lived through the battle," Sakumo said. "Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet," Kakashi said, "but I checked before I came here, and his name isn't in the list of the dead."

"If you want to pass me a message you can send one through him," Sakumo said. "If you insist on keeping ties with me that's a safe way to do it."

"Why can he see you when I can't?" Kakashi asked, his voice slipping into a whine.

And suddenly Sakumo was reminded of just how young Kakashi was. He was sending a nine year old boy out of his house the day after he'd seen his father try to commit suicide.

_What I'm doing to him is brutal, _Sakumo thought, and he wanted to hold Kakashi and tell him to put his things away. He wanted to have his son sleeping in his own room, using up all the hot water in the morning and forgetting to do the dishes occasionally. He'd never fuss at him for cleaning his weapons at the table again, and right now he would kill to have such a normal problem. He just wanted his life back.

"It's not fair," Kakashi said.

"I know," Sakumo said. "If things were fair Tsume would be dead and a lot of Konoha ninjas would still be alive. He can see me because the sins of the father are passed on to the son, not the brother. The village is watching you right now. Jiraiya's reputation is solid; you're still building yours."

"I don't care about my reputation enough to do this," Kakashi said.

"I do," Sakumo said, "and the last thing I can really do as your father is to try to protect at least that.

"The last thing…" Kakashi repeated.

"I'm turning legal guardianship over to Jiraiya when he gets back. If you work out something different with Ibiki's parents that's between the three of you, but it's the best thing to do."

"Don't I have a choice about this?" Kakashi asked.

"When you're 18 you can decide what you want to do," Sakumo said. "Until then stay away from me."

"But that's so long!" Kakashi said.

"I know," Sakumo said. "But I don't want this burden on you until you're old enough to understand what you're taking on."

"I'll come back," Kakashi said. "I won't forget you. I promise."

His son's fists were clenched, and his face was white. "You're getting too worked up," Sakumo said. "We're never going to agree on this, and you're just hurting yourself more right now. I want you to go now."

Kakashi's eyes moistened, and he turned back to packing. Sakumo pretended that he didn't hear the occasional sniffle.

"I'll take some now and come back for the rest later," Kakashi said.

"Take all of your things when you come back," Sakumo said. "Don't leave anything here to tie you to your life with me. I want you to cut yourself off completely so you can start building something new."

Kakashi hugged him tightly. His head barely came up to Sakumo's chest. Sakumo rubbed his unruly hair. "You're going to be a great man someday," he said. "I'm already proud of you."

Kakashi looked up at Sakumo, crying openly now. "Please don't make me go," he said.

Sakumo had been trying to control his own emotions, but seeing his son like that tore him open inside. "You'll…" he stopped as he had to clear his throat so he could talk without choking as tears threatened to overwhelm him. "You'll understand when you're older," he said. "I'm doing this for you."

Kakashi left, looking one last time toward his father before he shut the door. Sakumo packed the last of his things. He just wanted to touch the things that reminded him of Kakashi one last time.

He took stock of his kitchen. He had enough canned food to keep him from having to leave the house for a week or so if he didn't want to leave, and right now he just wanted to stay inside.

_I'll just wait until the Hokage summons me, _he thought.

He was asleep when Kakashi came back for the rest of his things, and he decided to stay in bed this time. They'd already said everything they could say to each other, and if he went out there it would just cause his son more pain.

He had kept his son's favorite toy, a small stuffed dog that looked like Pakun. It stared at him from the dresser. It was something to remember him by.

It was three days before the Hokage summoned him, and as he trudged through the village toward the Hokage tower he thought it was the longest walk of his life. He looked at the ground to avoid seeing the hate in the villagers' eyes, but he still heard what they said. No one actually approached him this time.

The Hokage looked at him with something even worse than anger. He looked at him with pity. "You'll always be a friend, Sakumo," he said. "Please understand that I judge you as your Hokage."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sakumo said. He just wanted to get this over with.

"There were several members of the council who wanted you executed, but I did what I could for you. You'll be demoted to Chunin, and unless the village is in dire need you won't take any missions above C rank."

"You mean I'm still a ninja?" Sakumo asked, barely believing what he was hearing. He had dedicated his life to his village, and even if it rejected him he still belonged to it.

"Yes," the Hokage said. "I hope in time the village will forgive you."

"Can you forgive me?" Sakumo asked. They had been close. It was important to him that even if the Hokage didn't respect him he could at least forgive him.

"My sister died out there," Sandaime said. "Don't ask me that just yet."

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said.

"Sorry won't bring the dead back!" Sandaime yelled. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Just go," he said. "I'll talk to you after I've had time to grieve for my family."

Sakumo sat in the dark that night, his lights off so he could be truly alone with his thoughts. He turned his tanto in his hands again.

_I promised Kakashi I wouldn't do this, _he thought. _He has no idea how cruel he's being, forcing me to live._

He put the weapon away. He couldn't do it to Kakashi.

_I might still have a few friends, _he thought, and he summoned the great Wolfhound Alphaus. Alphaus whined and pressed his head against Sakumo's hand.

"Are you still my pack?" Sakumo said.

"We'll always be your friend," Alphaus said, "but we have to follow the strongest to summon us. We're Kakashi's pack now."

"Then you know," Sakumo said.

"Kakashi summoned Pakun and told him everything."

"How is Kakashi?" Sakumo asked.

"Pakun said he's miserable," Alphaus said. A human might have softened the blow, but Alphaus didn't have any concept of white lies. "He's with him now. We'll protect our new master as much as we can."

"Thank you," Sakumo said. "I'll let you go now. I just wanted to know where we stand with each other."

He began to make the seals to release Alphaus, but the dog put his paw on Sakumo's hand.

"Wait," he said. "You don't have to release me yet. You aren't our master anymore, but you're still a member of the pack. I can stay here tonight if you want. You're a beta now, but we all love you."

"That's more than any human other than Kakashi has said to me," Sakumo said.

"And Kakashi is very dog-like," Alphaus said. "Perhaps there's something to be learned from that."

"I don't want to talk philosophy right now," Sakumo said.

"You look like you haven't slept in days," Alphaus said. "Do you feel unsafe? I can stand guard while you sleep if you need me to."

"No," Sakumo said. "I've just been too upset to sleep much. If you would just stay with me that would be enough."

Alphaus nodded, and when Sakumo bedded down for the night Alphaus circled three times and lay in a circle, his tail tucked under his head.

Sakumo almost wished he'd called one of the less dignified dogs so he could have held one while he slept. Alphaus wasn't the cuddly type. But as he drifted off to sleep he felt grateful that at least he had a friend nearby.

He let Alphaus go in the morning. He was uneasy with his new standing in the pack, and he didn't want to push the issue until he was surer of the situation. He made some oatmeal, but he couldn't make himself eat more than a few bites of it. Oatmeal had been Kakashi's favorite breakfast when he was four, and it just made Sakumo sadder to think about that little face covered in white goop, needing to be cleaned.

_What am I going to do with myself now? _He wondered. He looked around the house, but only now did he realize that very few things in his house weren't part of his life as a ninja. He still had his books, but that was about it.

He tried reading one of Jiraiya's latest books, a story called Icha-Icha Paradise, but it just struck him as foolish. The idiot had obviously been writing out his fantasies about his teammate Tsunade, and Sakumo had heard him moon too much over the girl to want to read about his imaginary relationship with her.

He closed the book shut and sighed. His life stretched ahead of him, long and empty. Perhaps he could go to the fire temple and become a novice. Helping the poor might be a way to redeem himself someday.

He knew he wouldn't do it. He didn't deserve redemption. He deserved exactly what he was getting, and he'd just have to learn how to deal with it.

At least Jiraiya would be home soon. _If I find out he died because of what I did I don't know what I'll do,_ he thought. He didn't think Jiraiya was dead. He was too strong. He had a talent for surviving. He had to develop an uncanny skill for evading attacks. It usually seemed like half the women in Konoha wanted to screw him, and the other half wanted to kill him. He'd spent a lot of time running from angry females, some of them talented ninjas. If he could outlive being teammates with Tsunade he could live through a botched battle.

Jiraiya's return was one last thing to hope for. Other than his brother's support he had nothing else to live for except to wait for Kakashi to turn 18. Even then Kakashi might not want to know him. So much time passing changes people, and Kakashi would be an entirely different person by then, perhaps one who hated his failure of a father.

Sakumo's stomach growled, but he ignored it and went back to bed. He couldn't sleep of course, but he didn't care. Bed was just as good a place as any. He finally got up and covered his bedroom window with foil. Time didn't mean the same thing to him anymore. From now on, time had stopped in his house. No matter how long he lived, it would always be the day Kakashi left.


	4. Chapter 4

Sakumo barely left the bed for the next two days, but after that lifelong habits asserted themselves and he began to train. He had a decent sized yard behind his house, and he at least kept his body in shape. He couldn't practice any powerful jutsus here, but he could train in private. The exercise made him feel marginally better. Even if he could only get low-level missions he could serve his village. He could never redeem himself, but he could spend the rest of his life trying.

While Sakumo lay in bed Kakashi was trying to adapt to his life, with more success. It had been awkward at first to sleep in Ibiki's room. He'd never spoken much with Ibiki. He considered the other boy foolish and loud, always playing pranks and trying to get attention. The girls considered Ibiki's laugh sexy, but to Kakashi it was just loud and obnoxious.

Ibiki's room was an expression of himself. He had a large Konoha leaf painted on his wall, the fluorescent colors shouting how much he loved the leaf village.

_How did that not give him a headache?_ Kakashi wondered. The bed and dresser had been painted bright yellow. It was an amateurish job, and Kakashi could plainly see the brushstrokes. It was just like Ibiki to put that much work into something that didn't really matter. Bright posters covered the walls, and a lime green clock chimed from the wall.

Ibiki's room – and the rest of the house – looked like it had been furnished at a thrift store. They were obviously poor, and Kakashi felt a grudging respect for Ibiki. He had never suspected that Ibiki had anything wrong with his life. He just always seemed so happy.

A picture of Ibiki with his parents sat on the dresser. In it his mother and father stood behind him with their hands on his shoulders, and he was grinning while he gave a thumbs-up to the camera.

Ibiki was his equal in strength and skill, and Kakashi was surprised he'd been captured. He wondered how Ibiki had died. He hoped it was a quick death, at least.

_It's my father's fault, _he thought. He felt as ashamed as if he'd failed the mission himself.

"The sins of the father are passed on to the son," his father had said. He knew he was trying to explain why Jiraiya could see him when he couldn't, but he thought there was another interpretation to the ancient saying. The guilt of the father passed on to the son as well.

_I'll redeem him, _Kakashi thought. _I'll become so strong that when people see him they'll just think of him as my father. _

He was sure he could do it. He was a genius, and he'd never faced anything he couldn't overcome by willpower.

_I could rejoin ANBU, _he thought, but he dismissed the idea quickly. No one stayed in ANBU long without becoming a monster. He didn't want to see his father after a decade of being apart just to be rejected because he was a horrible person.

_I wonder what he'll be like then, _Kakashi thought. _Will he be sane?_

Ibiki's mother knocked quietly on the door.

"Yes?"

"Do you want some dinner dear?" she asked.

"Yes, Okasan. Thank you," he said. The old woman had almost immediately asked him to call her mother, and he complied out of respect and a desire to please his hosts. She had cried, and he knew she desperately needed her son back. She struck him as kind but unstable.

Kakashi was glad Ibiki's father hadn't been so familiar with him. He couldn't call another man father; he'd promised.

He went to the dining area and helped Ibiki's father. He could get around by himself with the help of a walker, but he really needed someone else around to make things easier for him. His left knee was practically useless, and Kakashi had seen his wife help him with various tasks that he'd never considered before, such as sitting and moving around objects.

"Can I get you anything sir?" he asked.

The old man shifted his leg on the low stool he used to support the knee while sitting.

"I'm fine," he said. "Thank you."

Ibiki's mother gave him almost twice as much as he normally ate. It was their first real meal together, and Ibiki's father ate quietly, looking at his wife occasionally.

The woman who had only identified herself to him at Mother Moreno picked at her food, and Kakashi could see how tired and sad she looked.

Kakashi managed to eat most of his food, for the sake of politeness. He really hoped they didn't eat this much regularly. Ibiki was much larger than he was; it probably took more to keep him going.

When the meal was finished and Ibiki's mother was cleaning the table, Ibiki's father turned to Kakashi. "Let's step outside for a few minutes. I think we should talk."

"I'm not helpless," he said when Kakashi tried to help him too much. "If I want help I'll ask for it."

"Yes sir," Kakashi said. He knew that the old man had been injured in battle. Ibiki never got tired of talking about his hero of a father. Kakashi had only avoided arguing with him because he'd felt his father was so obviously superior to all the other students' parents that there was no need to talk about it.

They sat, and after Ibiki's father did the complicated maneuvers necessary to lower himself to the chair he lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply.

"Do you know why you're here?" he asked Kakashi.

"The Hokage said that with Ibiki gone you could use the help, and I need a place to stay. When Ibiki comes home I can move to my uncle's house. I appreciate you letting me stay here, Moreno-san."

"Ok first, call me Akihiro. And second, Ibiki is dead. I pretend to think different for Mother, but I know."

Kakashi waited for Akihiro to speak.

"I loved my boy," Akihiro said. "He was going to be everything I was when I was younger, and then some. He was so full of life, and now he's gone."

"I haven't given up hope," Kakashi said.

"You're young," Akihiro said. "The young don't know the difference between hope and wishes. It doesn't matter. You might have noticed that my wife isn't…well. She's been ill for years, and the doctors can't really help her. She gets these ideas – fixations the doctors call them. She's decided that Ibiki is spying on the enemy and he'll come home to us."

He spat onto the porch. "The reason I want you here is that my wife needs a son. Ibiki was her light, and she's sick enough that I think she'll feel better with another boy here. I'm offering you a place to stay and a family. All you have to do is let her treat you like a son."

"Yes, Akihiro," Kakashi said.

"A lesser man would hate you for being Sakumo's son, but I know better. I'm going to let you earn your place with me."

"That's all I can ask for," Kakashi said.

"Now go in there and tell her you liked her cooking," Akihiro said. "She likes to hear that."

"I did like it," Kakashi said. "Dad and I usually just eat whatever we can come up with."

"Well, you'll eat well here. We're poor, but we know how to live well with what we have."

Kakashi felt like it was the wrong time to offer, but he pulled Jounin wages. He could help the Moreno family with the bills. He was beginning to like these people, especially Akihiro, and it was the least he could do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo worked his body to its limits, and he went out that night to one of the practice fields to train properly. There was less chance of having an encounter with other ninjas at night. Most of them trained during the day. He used jutsu after jutsu until he felt his chakra draining too much to use any more techniques.

_If I just used my life chakra Kakashi might think I died on accident, _he thought. _No. He'd know better. Raising a genius isn't all it's cracked up to be._

He saw someone approaching the field, and he stopped exercising, waiting to see who it was. He wondered if someday a ninja might just kill him out here to be rid of him.

It was Tsume. She limped toward him on crutches, and he could see from a distance that her head was bandaged.

"I thought you'd be here," she said. "You always came here when we were kids and you were upset about something."

"Help me sit down," she said, and he lowered her to the ground next to a tree.

"I'm surprised you don't hate me too," Sakumo said.

"You should have let me die," Tsume said, "but I can't hate you for doing what you did. Teammates stick together."

"Thanks, Tsume," Sakumo said.

"What about Kakashi and Jiraiya?" she asked.

"Jiraiya hasn't come home yet," Sakumo said.

"And Kakashi?"

"I made him move out. He has a better chance out there away from me and whatever happens next."

She nodded. "Wise move, even if it is harsh. I'll keep an eye on him for you."

"I'd like that," Sakumo said. "I told him that he can come back when he's 18, if he wants to."

"What are you going to do?" she asked. "I heard you got busted down to Chunin."

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "I feel like my life ended that day. All I can do is wait for Kakashi to grow up and hope that he doesn't hate me when he does."

"He's a good kid," Tsume said. "I don't think he'll hate you, and when Jiraiya comes back he'll stand by you."

Tsume tried to get up by herself, but Sakumo had to help her. "If I had used my head I would have finished my mission, but I didn't. I used my heart."

"You always do," she said. "It's what makes you such a good ninja. Your heart belongs to Konoha, and your mind follows."

"You know me too well," Sakumo said. "It's why we were good partners."

"We still are," Tsume said.

"No we're not," Sakumo said. "Are you going to do C and D rank missions if you have to? Get another partner.'

"You just have to be the big man, don't you?" she asked. "I'm tired now, and I'm going home, but I'll come visit you when I can."

"Don't come during the day," Sakumo said. "People will see you."

"I do what I want when I want," Tsume said. "Anyone who doesn't like it and go fuck themselves."

Sakumo felt better for the first time since he'd returned from his mission. He wondered how many others might join him. Not many, but at least he knew he had Kakashi and Tsume now. He wasn't alone.

The next day someone knocked at his door. It was early afternoon, but he was still in bed.

"Who is it?" he called, not wanting to open the door in case it was an enemy.

"It's your brother, you Fuckwad," Jiraiya said.

Sakumo opened the door, and Jiraiya stepped through, taking off his muddy boots. "Hey Shithead," he said.

"Hey Fuckwad," Sakumo answered, answering Jiraiya's childhood nickname for him with his own.

"You got yourself into some real trouble this time," Jiraiya said.

"Yeah," Sakumo said. "I'm done. No mission director is ever going to give me a mission that involves any kind of leadership. Who could trust me now?"

"I trust you," Jiraiya said. "Where's Kakashi?"

"He's staying with Moreno Akihiro. Did you hear about Ibiki?"

"Yeah. There's a mission to retrieve him soon. We can't let the Rock Ninjas keep one of our own like this. Even if we didn't just want him back there's a morale issue."

"Do they really think he might be alive?" Sakumo asked. The fate of Ibiki had been sitting heavily with him. It was bad enough that Konoha ninjas had died, but a young ninja might be getting tortured even now because of his actions.

"There are signs," Jiraiya said. "Now, tell me about Kakashi. Don't tell me he turned on you."

"Of course not," Sakumo said. "I made him leave. He'd just ruin his own life if he stayed with me. When he's an adult he can decide if he wants to link himself with me. I hoped you'd pass on messages between us so we can keep in touch."

"I will," Jiraiya said. "I already spoke with Sandaime. He won't budge on your punishment. He said it's mild compared to what other people wanted to do to you."

"He's just doing his job," Sakumo said. "He has to decide what's best for the village. It's a heavy burden, and I don't hate him for it."

"I'll help you get through this," Jiraiya said. "It will pass too. I don't know how, but it will pass."

"I knew I could count on you," Sakumo said.


	5. Chapter 5

There was something Kakashi couldn't put off no matter how much he wanted to, and that was being with Team Minato. He wanted to see his sensei; that wasn't the problem. It was Rin and Obito he wanted to avoid.

They had agreed to meet at Field Five though, and he never missed an appointment with his team, no matter how annoying they were. It was something his father had taught him early on, that teammates were second only to family in importance.

_Look what that attitude got him though, _he thought. His father's concern for Tsume had ruined his life and ended the lives of so many others.

_I'll follow the rules, no matter what, _Kakashi thought. _They're there for a reason. A ninja has to follow the rules, or people die._

Obito and Rin were already at the training field, but their sensei was absent. _I guess he's not back yet, _Kakashi thought. He had heard that Minato was still alive and unharmed.

Rin looked at him with that sick-cow look that she mistook for a loving glance. Obito looked like he was about to cry.

Kakashi felt disdain for them both. Rin was distracted with a stupid crush, and Obito was too emotional. If he wasn't an Uchiha he probably wouldn't even be allowed to be a ninja. Kakashi wished Sensei could have been there. He occasionally interfered when Kakashi's teammates became too personal and Minato could see that Kakashi needed space.

_Why can't those two just understand the idea of personal space? _He wondered. _Is it too much to ask for a bit of dignity from them?_

"How are you?" Rin asked.

"I'm fine," Kakashi said. "Don't worry about me."

"Teammates should stand together," Obito said. "We're here for you."

"I don't need you to be "here for me", Kakashi said. "I can take care of myself. There's nothing wrong with me."

"I want you to know I respect what your father did," Obito said. "He's a hero."

Kakashi looked at him, the boy from the golden clan. Obito had a couple missions where he'd actually fought, but like most of the boys their age he was just an academy student misplaced because of the war. He should have been in class right now, not fighting in a war.

"You don't know anything about it," Kakashi said. "A ninja should always follow the rules. I'm going to make sure that I never do anything like that."

Obito clenched his fists. "He's a hero! You shouldn't be so cold about your father."

Kakashi saw him wanting to bend the world into the shape he needed it to be. Rin stood by, wringing her hands as she worried about them, as always.

"You're fucking useless, you know that?" Kakashi asked. "You're the sorriest excuse for an Uchiha there's ever been."

"And you're some kind of robot!" Obito said.

"Stop it!" Rin said. "Both of you just stop it. There's a war on, and you're still fighting like we don't need to be the best we can be for Konoha. If we don't train as a team we won't fight well as a team."

It had been the Hokage's idea to put Kakashi on a team his age instead of letting him fight with older ninjas. When Kakashi had left ANBU Sandaime had decided he wanted him to progress more naturally. Kakashi had never liked the idea, and now it was more annoying than ever.

_She's right though, _he thought. _I can't let Obito's idiocy stop me from becoming their team member. I don't need them, but they need me, and we have to work together for the good of Konoha. I wish the Hokage would just let me take solo missions though. These two really tie me down._

Obito held out his hand. "Truce?" he asked.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but he shook Obito's hand. "Sure, why not? If I have to work with you we might as well get to it."

As they sparred Kakashi could see his team's weaknesses. Rin didn't want to attack him, and Obito spent too much time focusing on him. Rin constantly beat Obito, and Kakashi easily handed out beatings to both of them.

"That's enough," he finally said. "We're supposed to hear tomorrow how they'll be using us. I guess we can meet back here tomorrow night about seven."

When he went back to the Moreno's house the smell of cabbage met him. His stomach growled. He'd trained hard, and he usually just came home to ramen or take out. He loved cabbage.

Okasan had fixed a vegetarian meal, and Kakashi wondered if she didn't want to cook meat or couldn't afford it. He felt bad about using their meager resources. After dinner he cautiously suggested to Akihiro that he could help with the family finances.

He was met with a cold reception. "I didn't ask you to stay here for your money," he said. "I'm a proud man, and you know what I want from you. Be a son to my wife. That's worth more than money anyway."

"Yes, Akihiro," Kakashi said.

Kakashi had already gone to bed when he heard a knock at the door.

"This is unexpected," he heard Akihiro say. "I heard you were at the front."

"I was, but I was sent home for now." Kakashi heart jumped when he recognized Jiraiya's voice. He liked the Morenos, but Jiraiya was real flesh-and-blood family.

He rushed into the living room. "Oji-Jiraiya, you're back!" he said. "I was afraid you'd died out there."

"It takes more than a few scroungy Rock Ninjas to take me down. Look – not a scratch."

Kakashi hugged his uncle. Usually he would avoid such a display of emotion, but it just felt so good to have his uncle there that he didn't care.

"I'll excuse you two," Akihiro said. "I'm sure you have family matters to discuss."

"How are you doing with all this?" Jiraiya said. "It must be rough for you."

"I just want to see Dad," Kakashi said, "and he won't let me."

"I know," Jiraiya said. "He told me."

"You've seen him? How is he?"

"Not great," Jiraiya said, "but he has family and friends that still love him, and we'll get him through this. I'm concerned about you too. Do you like it here? You could come stay with me if you want. I'm gone a lot, but my home is your home."

"I like it here," Kakashi said. "The Moreno's need some help until Ibiki comes back from his mission."

He saw the confusion on Jiraiya's face, and he put a finger up to his mouth in shushing motion. He nodded toward the door where he knew Okasan was listening. She was a civilian, and to a ninja the movements of a civilian might as well have been announced by trumpets.

"O yes, his mission," Jiraiya said. "Well, after he gets back you can stay with me if you want to."

"Thanks, Oji-Jiraiya," Kakashi said.

Kakashi spent time with Jiraiya, and neither of them wanted to leave the other, but eventually he had to let his uncle go home.

He felt empty when Jiraiya left. He'd almost forgotten what it was like to be so alone, and now he was there again, living in a house of friendly strangers, lost to his own father.

Akihiro made his way slowly toward the porch. "Let's get some fresh air, kid," he said.

"You know Mother and I were listening, I suppose," he said.

"I knew she was. I never heard you," Kakashi said.

"That's because I'm still twice the ninja you'll ever be," the old man said, and the grin he flashed Kakashi was the same one he had seen for years in the classroom.

_I see who Ibiki takes after, _Kakashi thought.

"I'm glad you said that about Ibiki's mission for Mother," Akihiro said. "You're a kind boy."

"I try to be sir," Kakashi said. "My father taught me long ago that the only way to be a good person was to be kind."

They ran out of things to say and just sat together, listening to the insects and the sounds of the village. They didn't go inside until Mother came out and reminded them that even ninjas needed sleep.

Kakashi had never been fussed over by a woman, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. _Is this how a mother acts? _He wondered. He didn't know. He liked Okasan though. Even though she was just a civilian, he felt a little safer with her around.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He found out the next day that he had a week before the next offensive began, and he focused on training. Team Minato began to gel a bit, but he couldn't help bickering with Obito. The brat was just useless.

He found people to help take care of the Morenos while he was gone, and he felt a little better about leaving them. He didn't feel comfortable leaving his father alone, but it wasn't really his choice.

He found Jiraiya at a teahouse surrounded by women, as always. "I'm worried about Dad," he said after they left. "We're going to be gone, and I'm afraid he'll try to hurt himself again."

"When did he try to hurt himself?" Jiraiya asked.

"The day he came back," Kakashi said. "I stopped him, but he was trying to stab himself."

"And you didn't feel like this was something I needed to know?"

"There was so much going on," Kakashi said. "It's hard to keep all of this straight in my head. It's complicated enough just being a Jounin. Now I have to figure out what to do about all of this."

"I know," Jiraiya said. "Inuzuka Tsume won't be going when the orders come. She's still on crutches, and I'll talk to her about looking in on him occasionally."

"Are they talking then?" Kakashi asked.

"I spoke with her earlier after Sakumo said they talked a few days ago. She said teammates stick together no matter what. That's a good woman. You'd better watch out. She might become your stepmother some day."

Kakashi made a face. He'd never cared for Tsume. She liked to treat him like a little kid, and she was too loud. "Dad said he doesn't go for Amazon types," Kakashi said.

"Then he doesn't know what he's missing," Jiraiya said.

"You mean you like women like that?" Kakashi said, his curiosity aroused.

"As long as they have a pretty face and the right parts I like most women," Jiraiya said.

"The right parts?" Kakashi asked. Now he was fully listening, his own problems forgotten as he waited for his uncle to tell him about women. He'd been wondering.

"Shit," Jiraiya said. "I forget how young you are sometimes. Forget I said that."

"Yes, Oji-Jiraiya," Kakashi said, disappointed. At least he knew part of the mystery now. Women were made differently than men. He wondered what parts had to be "right". He'd seen Jiraiya kissing lots of women.

_There must be something special about their mouths, _he thought.

"How was Dad when you saw him?" he asked, putting aside the troubling questions he had about women. They could wait.

"He's better," Jiraiya said.

"Oji-Jiraiya, I'm a Jounin. I've had enough training to know when someone is lying to me."

Jiraiya sighed. "You know sometimes I wish you were just a regular, dumb kid, but I don't think I'd love you nearly as much if you didn't cause me trouble sometimes. He's not better, but he's alive. He's been eating and training. As long as he does that he'll live. It's when a ninja stops training that they begin to die."

Kakashi nodded. He couldn't imagine a time without working his body and feeling the joy that only came from sore muscles and the right kind of tired.

Jiraiya walked him to the Moreno's house, and Kakashi told them about his upcoming mission. He made sure to mention the people that would be coming by when he was gone. He had a week or so left before he had to go, and he wanted to make sure they didn't lack for anything while he was gone.

He had the time entirely planned out, but there was always something even he couldn't plan for. No matter how much he tried to give his world order, some form of chaos would sneak in occasionally, and this time the chaos arrived in the form of Moreno Ibiki's return to Konoha.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Don't hate Ibiki. He's had a really bad day.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi had two days when he had the Morenos to himself, and in just those two days they became people he was glad to return to. Their place wasn't home; he didn't know if he could ever feel at home sleeping in Ibiki's bed and surrounded by Ibiki's things, but it was a good, safe place. It was a place he was needed, and he reluctantly began to enjoy Okasan's attention. No one needed to know. Even Akihiro was a comfort to him, and he looked forward to their after-dinner talks on the porch. Kakashi listened to everything the old man said. Ibiki hadn't had to exaggerate his father's heroism, and Kakashi treated every historical tidbit in Akihiro's stories as a bit of wisdom to lock away for later.

He hadn't seen Jiraiya again, but Tsume had come to visit him. She just said that she stood by her teammate and her teammate's son, and he could ask her for help if he needed her. Kakashi knew she meant well, but it was awkward. Tsume wasn't someone he could imagine asking help from, ever. He couldn't have even said why. He just didn't like her.

He politely thanked her, but he was genuine when he told her he appreciated what she was doing for his father. He was making a tally of his father's allies, and it was growing slowly.

_I wish he'd let me be one of them, _he thought, and he used that frustration to drive him to train harder. He was working on his newest idea, a lightening jutsu that actually made a bolt form in front of his hand, when he saw a ninja running through the village. The training field he'd chosen was on a hilltop, and he could see the blonde hair that could only belong to his sensei. The Yellow Flash lived up to his name as he streaked through the village.

_I wonder what that's about. _Kakashi wondered. He saw Minato heading downtown before he disappeared behind some buildings. He had been carrying something large, flung over his back like a large sack.

_Or a boy about my age, _Kakashi thought. He wondered if he was carrying Ibiki's body. _He wouldn't be running so fast with a corpse. I knew Ibiki was tough, but could he really have survived being captured?_

He wanted to know, but he kept training. There were too many ninjas brought in injured for him to stop training every time one was brought in. He would do them more good by preparing to help the village.

_You're lying to yourself, _he thought. He knew why he didn't want to go. He didn't want to hear Ibiki curse him for Sakumo's failure. He pictured Ibiki without legs or ears. He'd seen that happen before. He'd cut out a man's tongue when he was younger. He hoped they hadn't done anything like that to Ibiki.

_I can't imagine him not being loud and obnoxious, _Kakashi thought. He hoped that somehow Ibiki had escaped all the things he could imagine.

Kakashi summoned a clone to spar with, and the clone easily kicked his ass. He hit the ground hard, knocking the breath out of himself. When he sat up the clone glared at him from above.

"Dobe," it said. "You can't even fight your own clone. Just go see if it's Ibiki. You won't concentrate until you do."

"Oh, what do you know," Kakashi said, releasing the clone. "Fucking mouthy clones." No one else that he knew had clones that gave them so much attitude.

He kicked at a bit of quartz on the ground. He could imagine Ibiki snarling at him, "get the hell away from me. Sakumo did this to me!"

He shuddered and looked toward the hospital. _I might as well get this over with, _he thought. He didn't want to lose what he had with the Morenos, but he knew he'd better get ready to live with Jiraiya. He couldn't possibly hope they'd let him stay there now.

All the ninjas that were Ibiki's age and not out on missions were in the waiting room when he got there. Even Gai was solemn.

"What do you know?" Kakashi asked Asuma.

"Not much," Asuma said. "No one will tell me anything. He's not in intensive care, so it can't be life threatening. They said we can see him later."

A few people looked away from him and directed their attention anywhere but toward Sakumo's son. He noticed that only Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, and Anko seemed to want to be near him.

_I'll remember who my real friends were, _he thought. He would follow his father's advice and try not to be bitter, but he would remember the ones who were willing to stand by him even now.

"Aren't you staying with Ibiki's parents?" Anko asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "His father is a disabled vet, and Ibiki helped them out a lot."

"That might not work now," Asuma said.

"Yeah, I thought of that," Kakashi said.

"You can stay with me," Gai said.

"Will your dad be ok with that?" Kakashi asked. Gai's father had been outspoken in his condemnation of Sakumo.

"No," Gai said, "but I don't care. You're my rival, and I don't want you to become distracted. If you're not at peak condition our contests don't mean much. I'll sneak you in."

"Don't be stupid Gai," Anko said. "He's staying with me. My place might be shitty, but I don't have parents to interfere. I'll have to keep the landlord from knowing you're there, but he's a civilian. He never notices anything I do."

_She doesn't even have running water right now and she wants to help me, _Kakashi thought. He'd been thinking about his problems and hadn't realized what was happening in front of him. Honest concern showed on Asuma and Anko's face, and Gai and Kurenai looked outright miserable. Showing so much emotion was something ninjas reserved for people they cared for – people that were special to them.

"Thanks guys," Kakashi said. He noticed that the other ninjas their age had moved away from them, leaving him with his friends. "I can stay at Jiraiya's house if I have to. It means a lot that you'd offer."

Kurenai had a look Kakashi had long associated with thought with her. "Someone might as well say what we're really thinking. There's been talk around the village. Some people are saying you shouldn't be a Jounin anymore, just because of your father. We've been talking, and we won't let it happen."

"I didn't know people were saying that," Kakashi said.

"Dad's not going along with it," Asuma said. "We'll stand by you, no matter what."

"We're all Konoha ninjas here," Anko said, her eyes sweeping the room full of academy students, "but the five of us here are something else. We belong to each other now, because of our decision."

She held her hand out, palm flat. "You're our comrade, Kakashi, and we won't leave you behind."

Kakashi placed his hand over hers, keeping eye contact with that fierce, disturbing person he already thought of as a woman. Asuma and Kurenai covered their hands with their own, and Gai placed his own massive paw on top.

"Comrades," Kakashi said. "I need that right now, more than anything."

Gai started to cry, and suddenly the whole group was embarrassed. Just a little – because that was just Gai and everyone knew it.

_I wouldn't want him any other way, _Kakashi thought.

A nurse stepped into the room. "You're all here waiting to hear about Ibiki Moreno?" she asked.

Everyone turned to her. Ibiki was popular, and they all wanted to know how he was doing.

"He's doing well," the nurse said. "He doesn't want to see people right now though. If you'll go back to your homes we'll send word to his classmates when he can receive visitors."

A murmur of disappointment went through the room. This wasn't what they'd all hoped for.

Kakashi actually felt a bit relieved. He wouldn't have to deal with this yet.

"Hatake Kakashi, would you come with me?" the nurse asked.

_So much for that, _Kakashi asked. He didn't know why he'd been singled out, but it couldn't be good.

The nurse led him to room 214. "Ibiki said he only wanted to see you. He wouldn't say why."

"I see," Kakashi said. _Fuck my life, _he thought.

"He has some disfigurements. Don't stare at him, ok?"

Ibiki was sitting up in bed, reading a textbook. Kakashi didn't remember Ibiki being much of a student.

"Hey," he said. "It's good to see you."

Ibiki closed the book. The look he gave Kakashi wasn't the same expression he usually had. Kakashi had been accustomed to seeing Ibiki either grinning or frowning as he concentrated. He had what Kakashi had heard was called the "thousand yard stare". He looked through Kakashi, not at him.

Kakashi had trouble not staring at Ibiki's head and face. Some medic had been working on him, but his face still had the ugly red marks of thick slashes. It was his head that drew the most attention. Kakashi couldn't tell what had happened to Ibiki, but his head was covered in barely-healed wounds. Some of them looked like they had been done with something circular and some looked as if he'd been beaten.

Kakashi had seen enough injured ninjas on the battlefield to know that Ibiki shouldn't be alive.

"It's not very pretty, is it?" Ibiki asked.

Kakashi realized he'd been staring – exactly what he'd been trying to do. "It's just amazing that you came home at all."

"I kept track," Ibiki said. "For every time they cut or burnt me, a Rock Ninja will die when I'm on the field again. For every time that they drilled into my skull 10 will die."

_Ok, that's creepy, _Kakashi thought. It wasn't how he'd seen other injured ninjas react.

"They said you wanted to speak with me," Kakashi said.

"Yeah. I asked about my parents, and they said you were staying at my house and helping them out."

"I'll move out now," Kakashi said. "Now that you're home they don't really need me."

"They were here earlier," Ibiki said. "We talked about you. I want you to stay with us for awhile."

"Noni?" Kakashi asked. He hadn't expected that.

"Yeah. I'm alright now, but I don't know how all this is going to affect me. They cut into my brain and did some things. I don't even know what they were doing. If I can't take care of my parents I would feel better if I knew you were there."

"Sure," Kakashi said. "I like them a lot. I'll be glad to help."

Ibiki finally smiled, but it wasn't the smile Kakashi was used to. Instead of Ibiki's open grin this was a grim line of a smile, the type he associated with jokes at other people's expense.

"You're wondering how I can stand to live with Sakumo's son, aren't you?" he asked.

"I…yes?" Kakashi said. His heart beat faster. That face looking at him couldn't be Ibiki, but it was. He looked 20 years older when he looked at Kakashi that way.

_Am I actually afraid of him? _Kakashi wondered, and he realized he was. There was something so disturbingly mature about the boy who had hidden a rotten egg in their Sensei's desk not long ago.

"I would love to put a hole in your father's skull for every one I got," Ibiki said, "but you're not him and I know it. The fact is that my mother loves you, and she needs all the help she can get."

"What does this mean?" Kakashi asked. "Are you saying you hate me but you want me to live with you?"

"No, I hate your father. I love my mother though, and I don't know if I can be the son she needs anymore. I hear things – dark things, and I'm going to do what they tell me when I'm on the field. She wanted her happy, strong son, and I don't know what I'm becoming. She deserves better than the monster I think I'm going to be."

Kakashi wondered if he should call a nurse. Ibiki's eyes sparkled with intensity. "We're brothers now, Kakashi. My parents don't know anything except that I want you to stay with us, but we understand each other, don't we?"

Kakashi nodded. He did understand. Ibiki didn't want him; he wanted someone his mother could trust and love, and she'd picked him.

"I know what you want, but I don't think it will be healthy for you if I stay at your place," Kakashi said.

_Or for me, _he thought. "I'm happy to help your parents; I really like them. I think it would be better if I moved to my uncle's house though."

"Oh no," Ibiki said. "The Hatakes aren't getting off that easily. You're going to see what happened to me because of your father's actions, and you're going to think about your father every time you look at this," Ibiki said, pointing toward his head.

_He's an injured comrade, _Kakashi thought. _This isn't Ibiki talking. _

"And if I refuse?" Kakashi said. "I don't like the idea of living with you as some sort of punishment."

"Your father isn't very well protected, is he?" Ibiki asked.

Kakashi gulped. "You wouldn't," he said.

"I would," Ibiki said. "Which Hatake is going to suffer, Kakashi? You decide."

_He's a sadist, _Kakashi thought. "I'll see what I can do about getting a bunk-bed," he said. He knew when he was beaten. If Ibiki killed his father he probably wouldn't even be punished. He might be respected for it. The worst part was that with his father feeling suicidal anyway he might not put up much of a fight.

"That's what I wanted to hear," Ibiki said. "Tell mother I'll be home as soon as I can. And it's not personal," he said. "I always respected you. This is about your father."

His friends were the only ninjas left in the waiting room. "What happened?" Anko asked. "You look like you saw a ghost. Is he that bad?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "He's not like the Ibiki we knew at all. He reminds me of Crow."

"How did it go between you two?" Kurenai asked.

"He wants me to stay with him, to help his parents in case he can't." He decided not to tell them about the rest. They would probably try to interfere, and if they did his father might end up dead.

"Does he know about what your father did?" Asuma asked.

"He knows," Kakashi said. "We've worked that part of it out already." _Did we ever, _Kakashi thought. He didn't think Ibiki would attack him; that would be too easy. This new person would probably do something the Ibiki he knew would never have done.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi just wanted someone to talk to. _I know my friends would help, _he thought. Obito and Rin were outside the village on a short mission, but he wouldn't have talked with his team anyway. There was something about those two that disgusted him. The others had already heard enough of his drama. He didn't want to burden them any more than he already had.

_I wish Sensei was available, _he thought, but he was too busy with the war. The people he would have trusted were either gone or unavailable to him at the moment. He needed someone just to talk to; he wouldn't tell Ibiki's secrets. Something told him that either no one would believe him, or that it wouldn't make a difference. Even the people who wanted to protect Sakumo couldn't do it all the time, and what he had seen in Ibiki made Kakashi think he might be psychotic. If he was then there was no telling what he would do.

No, he would do what Ibiki wanted. He just wanted someone to be with him, someone comforting.

He searched for Jiraiya, checking the Hokage tower, the bathhouses, the tea-houses – everywhere he could think of that his uncle frequented. He finally decided to look in whore houses, but he didn't even get to ask. They just yelled at him for being a kid in a whore house and chased him out.

_Fat lot of good that did, _he thought, but then a thought occurred to him. The one he really wanted to see was his father anyway. He could do that, and he didn't really care what his father thought about it right now.

He stepped into an alley, behind a dumpster and did a quick jutsu. He didn't even look for a mirror to check his henge. He'd always been good at them. His father might turn him away, but he had no reason to refuse Jiraiya.

"I don't know why I never thought of this before," he said, grinning like Jiraiya.

When his father answered the door Kakashi was relieved to see that he didn't look as bad as he had feared. He had lost some weight, but the dark circles under his eyes were gone.

Sakumo sighed. "Come on in," he said.

He closed the door. "Drop the henge, Kakashi. You're not fooling me."

Kakashi let the jutsu go. "How did you know? I'm good at henges."

"If it wasn't me you could have fooled someone, but did you really think that I don't know my own brother well enough to tell when someone is faking his movements? And if I don't know my own son in another form I'm not much of a ninja."

"Oh," Kakashi said, feeling dejected. He had wanted to surprise his father.

Sakumo held him closely. "But you did find a way to see me without the village knowing. I should have known you'd find a way around a bad situation."


	7. Chapter 7

Kakashi scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry," he said. "I just wanted to come over."

"Is it that bad?" Sakumo asked. "Are people being cruel to you because of me?"

"No," Kakashi said. "It's weird, but almost everyone has been cool." He hadn't lied to his father very often. There hadn't been much need. He felt like he'd be lying to him a lot more now.

"Have your teammates been helpful?"

"Too helpful," Kakashi asked. "I need comrades, not weepy children. Rin is worried, and Obito got all emotional."

He didn't know why it touched him when Gai cried, even though it made him uncomfortable, but when Obito cried it disgusted him.

_Probably because Gai is strong and Obito's a little pussy, _he thought.

"They care about you," Sakumo said.

_They're obnoxious, _Kakashi thought. "Obito thinks you're a hero," he said.

"Did he really say that?" Sakumo asked. "Don't tell me that if it's not true. Does one villager really think I did the right thing?"

Kakashi felt pity for his father. He wished he could believe he'd done the right thing, but Sakumo hadn't seen the scars on Ibiki's head.

"Obito did say that," Kakashi said. "I think a lot of us know you're a good person. I don't think less of you. It was just a bad decision."

_One hell of a bad decision though, _Kakashi thought.

"That's not what you can to tell me, is it," Sakumo said.

"Not really," Kakashi said. "I just wanted to come over. Everything is off kilter right now, and I wanted to be home for awhile. Is this still my home?"

Sakumo cleared his throat, and when he spoke his voice trembled. "It will always be your home son, no matter what. I'm sorry you can't be here, but you'll always be here in my heart."

Kakashi decided to get to the point. "Did you hear that they brought back Ibiki?"

"I'm glad," Sakumo said. "At least he didn't die because of me."

"He's ok physically," Kakashi said. "He's really fucked up in the head though. I never really liked him, but it's hard to see him like this."

"I know you've seen worse things on the battlefield," Sakumo said. "Just the things you could tell me about were horrible, especially for a kid. Why does this bother you so much?"

"Do I really have to say it?" Kakashi said.

"No," Sakumo said. "I know why it's hard for you. It's because of me, isn't it? I'm sorry you have my burden."

"But it's there now," Kakashi said. "The Hatakes won't be remembered for this. I'll be the strongest ninja in this village, and they won't think of this when they hear our clan name. I promise."

Sakumo put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder, squeezing it. "And I think you can actually pull it off," he said. "Don't worry about my reputation. Just take care of yourself. You're all I have now."

"That's not true," Kakashi said. "You have Tsume and Oji-Jiraiya. I think you actually have the Hokage – sort of. I heard he's the one fighting to keep me from being punished."

"People want to punish you?" Sakumo asked.

_Fuck, _Kakashi thought. _I didn't mean to tell him about that. _He'd meant to spare him the dirty details and just talk with him, but he needed to confide in someone, anyone, and it had just slipped out.

_I'd better get my guard up, _Kakashi thought, _or I'll be telling him that Ibiki threatened him next if I don't do what he wants. _He was going to give in to Ibiki. He didn't need his father worrying about him. He had the feeling that Ibiki wouldn't hurt his father if he complied. It was an instinct, but his instincts tended to be spot on.

"Son?" Sakumo asked. "What happened?

"There are some people who think I should be demoted. It won't happen. I have strong friends, politically. Asuma is a big influence on his dad, and Kurenai and Gai are respected around the village. Anko isn't really, but people are scared of her. Even Obito is useful here. It's not much to have _that _Uchiha on my side, but he is an Uchiha. That's something. They don't tend to support non-Uchihas."

"You'll be ok," Sakumo said. "You've always been strong."

"I know," Kakashi said. He'd just realized it himself. He'd overcome everything in his life that he needed to conquer, and this would be no different. It wasn't a good feeling. He would leave his father behind while he moved forward. He didn't want to, but it was going to happen.

"How are things between you and Ibiki then?" Sakumo asked.

"We worked things out. He wants me to stay at his place."

"Why you?" Sakumo asked. "You two were never close."

"I helped his parents while he was gone, and his mother is really sick in the head. She sees me as a son, and Ibiki is afraid he'll be too messed up to take care of her. He wants me to do it if he can't."

"I'm glad you found a family out there," Sakumo said. "I know Jiraiya can't be with you much, and you need people who can be there for you when you need it."

They heard a knock at the door, and Kakashi assumed his henge again. When Sakumo answered the door, the Anbu that had come saw him and Jiraiya inside.

"Jiraiya-sama, the Hokage needs to speak to you."

"Um…" Kakashi looked toward his father. He hadn't planned on something like this.

Sakumo shrugged. "Don't look at me. This is what happens when you play tricks." He smiled. It was good to see him smile.

Kakashi left with the ANBU. _I am in so much trouble, _he thought.

He thought about bolting, but he didn't want to get his uncle in trouble. When they reached the Hokage's office, he waited until the ANBU was gone and dropped the henge.

"Kakashi?" Sandaime asked. "What are you doing? I've never known you to play pranks."

"I wasn't playing a prank," Kakashi said. "I thought that if I went to my house in disguise he would talk to me. He doesn't want people seeing us together, but I thought that since Jiraiya visits him I might get away with it."

"No son should have to deal with something like this," Sakumo said. "I hope you know I'm doing what I can for you."

"I do, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said.

"Put the henge back on so people in the lobby don't see you," the Hokage said. "What you're doing is wise, even if it's harsh. I'll keep your secret."

Kakashi assumed the henge and left. When he was sure no one was watching he slipped into a bathroom and assumed his own form again. He went to the Morenos. He had things to take care of.

Mother Moreno was frantically cleaning an already spotless house, and even though Akihiro was apparently calm Kakashi noticed that he kept picking up things that obviously belonged to Ibiki. A picture of Ibiki with his team was in his hands, and he rubbed the frame with his thumb.

"Mother, calm down," he said. "Ibiki is probably very stressed, and we need to be calm for him."

"I'm going to make dango," she said. "It's his favorite." She went to the kitchen.

"She's happiest when she's cooking for people she loves," Akihiro said.

"I feel like I'm intruding," Kakashi said, "but Ibiki asked me to stay with you."

"It would be best," Akihiro said. "He told me that he's concerned about his mental health. I'm not concerned about myself, but I don't want Mother to be alone. She… has fits at times. You haven't been around long enough, but you'll see. There are times when she has to be restrained physically."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"There's a history of mental illness on her side of the family. I never cared. When you love someone enough things like that won't keep you apart, but sometimes she gets violent. She sees things. Ibiki hasn't shown any signs of it, but I worry about him."

Kakashi kept Ibiki's secret. He could have told Akihiro; perhaps he should have, but he didn't want to risk Ibiki taking revenge on his own father.

_I can handle Ibiki, _Kakashi thought. Physically he was Ibiki's equal, and he hadn't been tortured for a month_. _The only thing that really concerned him was Ibiki's mental state. He'd seen people do extraordinary things when they were worked up.

_I need to stay here to protect the Morenos too, _Kakashi thought. _I need to help this whole family._

He had put most of his things in a rented storage shed, but he moved the few belongings he'd brought with him to a corner. He didn't want Ibiki to feel like he was an intruder.

He could tell when Ibiki got back because his mother screeched, "my baby!"

Kakashi peeked out the door just enough to get a look, and Ibiki was obviously uncomfortable with the attention.

"What did they do to you?" she asked.

Ibiki ran his hand over his head self-consciously. "It looks worst than it is," he said. "It was just some surface wounds."

Kakashi hoped the old woman would believe him. He didn't like seeing her in pain.

"Mother, why don't you go check on the food?" Akihiro asked quietly.

When she left he greeted his son with more dignified warmth. "I'm glad you're home son. It hasn't been the same without you."

"It's hard to believe it's real," Ibiki says. "This feels like a dream – like the other was real and I'll wake up with them…never mind."

"It's ok son," Akihiro said. "I've seen a lot in my lifetime. You can tell me."

"Dad, I'm afraid. I don't know what they did to me, but I feel weird. It's like something takes over sometimes, and I don't like it."

"Do the doctors know?" Akihiro asked.

"Yes. I don't think they can do much about it. They think my captors were doing some sort of experiments, but they don't know what for."

"Whatever happens, you're my son," Akihiro said.

"Even if I become a monster?"

"Even then," Akihiro said, "but you don't need to think that way. You have family and friends here. You have a brother of sorts now too. It was unexpected, but I think it's a good thing."

"It is," Ibiki said. "I need to talk to him. Have you seen him?"

"He's in your room," Akihiro said. "Go talk. Mother will call you when dinner is ready. Rest if you need to."

Kakashi jumped on the bed and grabbed a text about chakra control, trying to hide his eavesdropping.

When Ibiki came in Kakashi was relieved that he didn't see any trace of the oddities in the hospital room. He didn't remind him of a war-hardened ANBU anymore. He looked sad and worried, which was still weird for Ibiki, but he just looked like a kid having a rough time, not a serial killer.

"I'm glad you're here," Ibiki said.

"I told you I would be."

"About those things I said earlier – I'm sorry. I've been really fucked up in the head. I'd like you to stay, but I won't do anything to your father if you don't want to."

Kakashi looked at the scars on Ibiki's face and head. _He suffered so much for Konoha. And his parents did too. I can't just leave him like this. This might be a trick, but I can't take the chance._

"I'll stay. You're family has become important to me quickly."

"You have to do something for me though," Ibiki said. "If something happens and you think I'm going to hurt them, don't let me. I can't stand the thought of hurting them, and sometimes I feel like someone else is taking over."

"I'll do what needs to be done," Kakashi said.

Ibiki looked around the room. "It looks so different in here."

"I tried not to move your things," Kakashi said.

"No, I mean I see things differently now." He pointed to a poster of Godzilla. "Did you know that I spent weeks hunting in thrift stores to find these posters? I wanted my room to look neat. Now it just looks dumb."

"I think it looks cool," Kakashi lied.

"No, it's childish. After what happened this just all looks so stupid." He began to pull down the posters, wadding them up and tossing them in the trash.

"Ibiki don't!" Kakashi said. "You might want them again later."

"No," Ibiki said. "I'm done with that part of my life. I feel like a new person."

"The old one was alright," Kakashi said. Even if he'd never cared for Ibiki he didn't like watching him do whatever it was he was doing to himself.

"The old one was a fool," Ibiki said. "Enough talking. I have to study."

"Why?" Kakashi asked. "The academy can't re-open until the war is over. What are you studying for?"

Ibiki held up a book. It was called Applied Psychology and Interrogation.

"Why are you reading that?" Kakashi asked.

"Let's just say that I've developed an interest."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? It seems like it would just be more traumatic."

Ibiki sat cross-legged on the bed and opened the book. "I'm not going to be held down by what happened. I'm going out to train tomorrow, and I'm going out when we have the offensive next week. If I stop, they win, and I can't have that."

Kakashi was impressed. He thought he'd be a wreck if it happened to him. No, he _knew _he'd be a wreck. Most people would. He'd heard about people who possessed a rare willpower strong enough to defeat any obstacle; Ibiki must have been one of those people.

"Do you want me to leave you alone to study?" Kakashi asked.

"No, you can stay," Ibiki said. "It feels right you being here."

"Noni?"

"You're not like the others. You're more like me," Ibiki said.

_What the fuck is he talking about? _Kakashi wondered.

"I don't know what you mean," he said.

"I'll talk about it later," Ibiki said. "I'm tired of talking to people right now. I want to read."

Even with his less intense side showing, Ibiki was a different person. Kakashi didn't remember a time when Ibiki didn't want to prattle on about something to anyone who would listen. He also didn't remember a time when Ibiki cared about studying. He had always achieved mediocre marks in the academy, something Kakashi had reminded him of a time or two when he became too annoying.

Kakashi leaned back in the chair, trying to be more comfortable. His head jerked up as he nodded off for a moment. He rubbed his eyes.

_When is the last time I got any real sleep? _He wondered. It had been at least since before the news about his father. No, it was longer than that. He hadn't had much time to sleep during his mission.

"I'll trade you places," Ibiki said. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

He moved to the chair and let Kakashi have the bed. "I don't think I have," Kakashi said. "I'll see about getting a bunk bed tomorrow."

"Good idea," Ibiki said. "I call top bunk." He smiled a bit, and Kakashi had a bit of hope that the old Ibiki was showing, but he frowned again and turned to his book.

He heard a knock and Asuma's voice. "Can I see Ibiki?" Asuma asked.

"I'll see if he's accepting visitors," Akihiro said. He poked his head in the door. "Are you feeling up to seeing people yet?"

"Not really," Ibiki said. "I'll go out tomorrow. I don't want to talk to anyone tonight."

Ibiki and Asuma had been good friends, and Kakashi wondered why he didn't want to see his partner in crime.

"I thought you'd want to see Asuma," Kakashi said.

"I don't want him to see this," Ibiki said, pointing to his head. "He's going to look at me weird, or he won't look at me. It's going to suck either way."

Kakashi looked around the room and found a headband. He tied it around Ibiki's head, forming a make-shift cap. "There," he said. "It's not so bad now. The face scars are kind of macho. Chicks did scars. You won't be able to keep them off you."

Ibiki went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. "It's not too bad," he said. "I still don't want to see anyone today. I want to think for awhile."

Kakashi thought things might actually be getting better for him. He still didn't sleep soundly, but he at least got a bit of rest. He woke when Ibiki crawled into bed beside him, and he moved over so they'd both have some space. _Maybe having a brother is a good thing, _he thought.

He woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, battle ready. He could feel something in the room, a strong presence. He'd felt it on the battlefield before. When a ninja felt in danger they sometimes shifted all of their focus into a killing intent. It wasn't even purposeful at times; it was more of an instinct.

He felt it now, as if someone was pouring raw energy into the room. He moved his hand slowly under his pillow, where he kept a kunai, and he waited to hear what the intruder was doing.

"They just kept cutting," Ibiki said quietly behind him. "They just kept cutting and drilling and healing me."

Kakashi rolled onto his other side to face Ibiki. He knew now that Ibiki was projecting the killing intent.

"When they used the drill smoke actually came up from my skull," Ibiki said. "They had a mirror so I could watch them work."

Kakashi didn't know what he needed to do. Ibiki didn't seem like he wanted to hurt him, so he decided to listen. If he was talking then he probably needed to get it out.

"I dreamed I was there," Ibiki said. "Is this real, or is that? Talk to me. I need to hear someone else's voice. The ones in my head are loud right now."

He turned toward Kakashi. "You understand, don't you Inu?"

_Why did he use my ANBU name? _Kakashi wondered.

"I do understand a little," Kakashi said. "I saw some bad things in ANBU. When you said we're not like the others, did you mean because I know what it means to have seen how ugly missions can get?"

"That's what Ibiki meant." Ibiki said.

"Noni? Who are you then?" Kakashi asked. He saw the same intensity in those eyes as he had in the hospital.

"I am the Interrogator," Ibiki said, his smile anything but friendly.

"What's going to happen to Ibiki then?" Kakashi asked.

"He's here. He made me when he was with the Rock Ninjas. I'm going to serve Konoha like he never could. I'm going to protect him by being strong and unyielding, and you're going to help me."

"I'm going to help Ibiki," Kakashi said.

"That's good enough," the Interrogator said. He laughed. "You look afraid, kashi-kun. Are you afraid?"

"I'm afraid for Ibiki," Kakashi said. "I'm afraid for his parents." _And I'm fucking terrified that I have to sleep next to this tonight. _

"You don't have to worry," the Interrogator said. "I'm not going to hurt Konoha ninjas or citizens unless I'm ordered to. That would be letting my tormentors win. I'm going to take all this back to them on the battlefield."


	8. Chapter 8

Kakashi didn't get any sleep that night, again. Even though Ibiki's alter ego said he wasn't interested in hurting him, Kakashi felt unsafe. He believed the Interrogator, but he just didn't feel like he could sleep next to him.

_I'd better take care of this; _he thought when the sun finally rose. He was so tired he was beginning to feel nauseous. Even a ninja's stamina had its limits, and he'd been on a strenuous mission before he came home to deal with his father's problems.

Ibiki dressed silently, and he never took off the head rag. Kakashi studied his face covertly, noting the physical differences in the expressions of Ibiki and the frightening person he'd constructed.

"I'm going to go train some," Ibiki said. "Do you want to come?"

"Do you remember talking to me last night? You told me about the Interrogator."

"I thought that was a dream," Ibiki said. He touched the scars on his face. "It felt like a dream."

"No. It was real," Kakashi said. "I wish you'd stay here and leave him behind."

"I need to become him," Ibiki said. "I have to."

"You don't," Kakashi said. "You're strong now, and you'll be strong enough with work to become a Jounin if you want. You don't have to do this to protect Konoha."

"I have to do it to protect the ones I love. I saw what the Rock Nation is capable of. I have to stop people like that, and I can't do it like this. If I was strong enough I wouldn't have been caught. Only weak ninjas get caught."

"I'll help you," Kakashi said, "but I'd rather see you around than him, and you're an annoying little shit. I feel responsible for this."

"You're not your father," Ibiki said. "I don't expect you to pay for his sins. If you want to help me then you have to help him too."

"Then you have to help him too," Ibiki said. "We're together in this, and someday he may be all that's left."

"I hope not," Kakashi said. "Your parents and friends want you back."

Kakashi looked at the book on the desk. It was open and had bookmarks and underlining. "You're serious about this Interrogator business, aren't you?" he said.

"Like I've never been serious about anything before," Ibiki said. "I'm going to do this."

"Just don't destroy yourself. I've seen people get obsessed before. It can ruin them."

"I won't," Ibiki said. "One thing I learned out there was how strong I am. If I can live through that I can live through anything. There were other ninjas with me. I was the only one who didn't break. What I saw those people do… You don't understand the power they had. One of them had the power to use his chakra to dig into a man's chest and make him feel as if worms were there."

Ibiki stopped and closed his eyes. He gulped strongly. "I can't talk about that right now, but I will say that when I learn how to interrogate prisoners I'm going to be the best. You don't have to worry about the Interrogator," he said. "He feels the same way about comrades that I do."

"I'm glad to hear that," Kakashi said. "He's very intense. It concerns me. I'm afraid he'll get you killed."

"He's going to keep me alive," Ibiki said. "I think he might even be able to keep my comrades alive."

"You don't have to fight alone," Kakashi said. "You don't have to carry the protection of Konoha on your shoulders alone. We're all here to fight beside you."

"It's time to start fighting and stop talking," Ibiki said. "I'm going to be over at the training fields if you want to spar later. I need to get ready for my next mission. I don't know when it is, but when they call me I want to be ready to go. I'm afraid that they'll think I'm not able to fight because of what happened. If everyone leaves me here it would be horrible. I need to get out there again."

Kakashi had other plans besides training in mind. He went to the library and found a book on Multiple Personality. He read until he heard the unwelcome voice of his least favorite Uchiha.

"Kakashi! What are you doing here?" Obito asked. "We should be training right now. It was hard to find you."

"It should be hard to find me," Kakashi said. "If it wasn't hard to find me I wouldn't be much of a ninja."

"What are you reading?" Obito asked. "Psychology? How is that going to help us fight? We should be more focused."

"It's just something that I need to know about," Kakashi said. "It's none of your business. I'll be done with it in a couple hours anyway. I'll spar with you and Rin then. I think you can wait that long for a good beating."

"That's a thick book," Obito said. "How are you going to finish it in a couple hours?"

"I'm smart," Kakashi read. "I read quickly. I don't have to move my lips to read like a certain un-named Uchiha with no Sharingan."

"Read your useless book then," Obito said. "I'll be on the field doing what real ninjas do. I'm going to be out there next week killing Rock ninjas. You can use Psychology on them. I'm sure that will work well."

Kakashi finished the book, and he felt like he didn't know much that was useful. He would have liked to read more about it, but Obito was right. He did need to be out there training.

_I hate when he's right about things, _Kakashi thought. _He'll never let me live it down if he knows._

He beat Obito and Rin – of course - but his responses were slower than usual. _I need to get some sleep, _he thought. He'd gone up to a week without sleep on a mission, but it was a bad idea. After a few days he'd began to feel drunk, and eventually he'd begun to have hallucinations.

He couldn't sleep at the Moreno's'. Ibiki might come back, and he didn't feel safe being unconscious around him right now. He didn't think Ibiki would hurt him, but he didn't think he'd be able to sleep, even if he tried.

He thought of his own comfortable bed with longing. It was ridiculous that he had his own room and his own bed, and he was out here trying to figure out how to find a place to sleep for a few hours.

As always, asking Obito and Rin was out of the question. It wasn't that Obito wouldn't help him, but then he'd owe the shithead. He had enough trouble with him without that. And the Uchihas were an outspoken group. He'd probably have to deal with someone in the Uchiha compound wanting to tell him their opinions about his father.

He'd been in Rin's house once. Her room was pink, with pink stuffed animals, and pink decorations. There was no way he could sleep in a giant cotton candy room.

He actually thought about just sneaking in through his own window, but he was sure he would been caught. His father was so in tune with his dog summons that he'd developed extremely sensitive hearing and smell.

Gai would let him crash at his place, but Kakashi didn't want to do that unless he had to. He didn't want to get Gai in trouble with his father. He was in the same boat with Kurenai. His friends might stand by him, but their family just saw him as Sakumo's son.

He could ask Asuma, but the Hokage was uncommonly smart, and if he found out that staying with Ibiki was hurting Kakashi's health he'd probably make him move in with Jiraiya.

_I've killed more people than most Chunins, _Kakashi thought, _and they still treat me like a little kid._

That only left Anko_._ It wasn't that he couldn't depend on her; he'd fought beside her before. She was dependable. There was something about Anko that was a little intimidating. She was like a wild dog in the village, and he was used to more tame canines. Still, he'd always found wolves interesting.

But she had a bed – he assumed – and that was all that mattered at the moment.

She was home. "What?" she asked. "I'm working. This had better be good."

"I just need a place to sleep for a few hours," Kakashi said.

"Sure, but don't bother me. I'm teaching my snakes new tricks."

"Why do you bother with those?" Kakashi asked. "You could probably summon ninja snakes. You're strong enough to subdue them."

"They submit to Orochimaru," Anko said. "I had to resort to mortal snakes. I like them. They scare people, and these are really smart. I've been working on jutsus with them, and in about 10 generations they will be a new tribe of ninja snakes."

"Impressive," Kakashi said. "If you keep this up you'll be called the Snake Ninja."

She grinned. "I like that. A small albino habu crawled toward her face, wrapping itself around her arm. Its tongue flickered out and touched her mouth.

"Who loves his mommy?" Anko crooned, and she stuck her own tongue out at it.

Kakashi found himself staring, and for some reason his cheeks felt hot. He didn't know why, but he really thought Anko was interesting when she did weird things like that. He remembered the time she painted the Hokage monument pink. He'd shared his lunch with her for a week.

"What are you staring at?" she asked.

"I like watching you with the snakes," he said. "Do that again."

"What? This?" she asked, and she stuck her tongue out at the snake again.

He realized why he was suddenly feeling a bit tight in the pants. He was looking at her mouth, thinking of the times he'd seen his father and uncle kiss women.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"You're kind of cute when you do that," he said.

"Me? Cute?" she asked, and Kakashi immediately regretted saying it when she scowled at him.

"I'm not cute," she said. "I'm deadly."

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry," he said.

She looked smug. _Girls are so weird, _he thought.

Anko pointed toward the bed, which was covered in books, clothes, and other things.

"Clear off a spot and sleep if you need to. Is it too weird at Ibiki's or something? Why can't you sleep there?"

"It's weird," Kakashi said. "I just can't sleep there."

He moved her things aside, feeling embarrassed when he had to move some black panties.

He was almost immediately asleep, feeling safe in the presence of a tried-and-true comrade. He was so tired he had begun to feel sick, and when Anko crawled into bed beside him he only woke enough to know that she was there.

"I'll take a nap with you," she said. This wasn't unusual, but for some reason it seemed significant today."

He didn't remember when he had slept so well. Anko woke him later. "It's after 10," she said. "Don't you have a curfew there?"

"What?" he asked. "I only wanted to sleep a few hours. I had things I needed to do."

"I couldn't wake you," she said. "I tried. You must have really needed the sleep."

He sat up and rubbed his head, still exhausted.

Anko giggled. "Your hair is everywhere," she said. "Worse than usual."

He tried to pat it down, but he knew his hair did what it wanted to.

"Let me," Anko said, and she messed with his hair, trying to control it.

She stopped and looked into his face with her hands still entangled in his hair. Their faces were close, and he saw the flush on her cheeks and how wide her eyes were.

"Kakashi, has a girl ever kissed you?" she asked.

"No," he whispered. He was afraid. He didn't know what happened after the kissing part, but he'd heard stories that it was important. The older ninjas always cut those stories short when they knew he was around, but from what he understood what happened when men and women did certain mysterious things together was one of the most important things in life.

She pressed her mouth against his, and he could feel her warm lips through the mask. He had no idea what to do now. Anko pulled away from him, leaving a wet impression on his mask. "I never kissed a boy before," she said.

He did the most natural thing for a ten year old boy could do. He ran.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXx

AN: Before anyone comments on this – yes, I know that extreme physical development at an early age delays puberty. I just think that since ninjas develop physically, emotionally, and mentally so much faster they might develop faster in other ways. I wanted an adorable little Anko/Kaka romance.

Don't worry, it won't get weird. I just wanted an adorable little Kaka/Anko romance. Stays innocent.

Also, the word habu is not a misspelling. It's specifically poisonous snakes, not just snakes in general.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Short update. I've been really stressed and haven't written much lately. I'll try to write more.

XXXXXX

Kakashi only ran a couple blocks, and he felt silly when he stopped. After checking to make sure that Anko wasn't following him he headed back toward the Morenos' house, walking slowly so he could think.

Anko's neighborhood was rough. Prostitutes watched him from corners, and one even spoke to him. "Hey cutie," she said. "Wrong neighborhood for a little ninja. You want a walk home and your nappy changed?"

"Thanks, but I don't do elephants – too many wrinkles," he said, repeating something he'd heard a ninja say once.

Her sneer left, and she scowled at him. "Little shit," she said. "I bet your father isn't so picky about now."

He ignored her and walked on. _Even the meth-heads think they're better than us now, _he thought.

He left the whores behind and entered a warehouse district. Dark grey buildings surrounded him, and the street lights were few and far between. He heard footsteps behind him, and he sighed.

_Does some civilian thug really think he can mug me?_ he wondered. It wasn't even really necessary to elude the man. He could have taken him with one punch, but there was always the chance he might accidently kill him. He'd never killed anyone unless it was necessary, and he didn't want to start now.

Hubris had its own price too. It didn't pay to become so proud that he forgot the random knife still had the power of death in its cheap metal.

He ran a bit – just to shake his follower, and then he ran some more, because it felt good. He loved the release of physical activity, and he decided to run home and enjoy the night air.

He turned a corner and saw a woman leaving the back of a warehouse. He'd been too distracted to notice what was going on, and he couldn't stop in time. He furiously dug his heels into the ground and leaned to the left, but even as he did he could tell he would hit her.

She turned just before he hit her, and they fell onto the pavement, with Kakashi lying squarely on top of her. She lifted him above her, easily holding him. Her arms squeezed her massive, almost exposed breasts, and he stared open-mouthed. He'd never really noticed breasts before, but they seemed important now.

"Hello, Tsuande-himi," Kakashi said. "Long time no see."

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Just running," he said. "Seemed like a nice night for it."

She stood and sat him on the ground. As she brushed off her clothes her breasts giggled, and he stared again.

"I didn't expect to see you here," she said. "I forget now. What was your name? Crow or Frightening or something silly, wasn't it?"

"You know my name is Scarecrow," he said, blushing. He didn't know why she always insisted on this game, but he didn't mind tonight.

"Eyes up here sweetie," she said, lifting his chin.

"Sorry ma'am," he said.

She laughed and belched. "Oh my. I think I drank too much."

Kakashi hadn't paid much attention to the man in the doorway behind them. He wasn't a threat, and there was the new attraction of breasts to consider.

"I don't need attention," the man said. "The game is over. We'll see you next week."

He shut the door, and they were left in almost total darkness. "Come on, kid. I'll walk you home," Tsunade said.

"I'm staying over at the Morenos' house," Kakashi said.

"Really? Since when?" she asked.

"Well, you know – the stuff with Dad happened, and he thought I should move out."

"O you poor kid," she said, pulling him to her. He let her hold him against her, his heart beating wildly as he felt the warm skin of her chest against his face.

"I'm ok," he said when she let him go. "I don't like it, but it's probably a good idea." He didn't really, but he didn't want Tsunade to know how much he'd been acting like a kid.

"I haven't really talked to Sakumo in years," Tsunade said. "I'll go over and pay him a visit. I'm sure he could use some cheering up."

Kakashi wondered why she smiled when she said that. _Women are so weird, _he thought.

She stumbled a bit and giggled.

"Are you ok, Tsuade-himi?" Kakashi asked. He'd smelled liquor on people before, but he wanted to be polite in case she didn't want to admit she was drunk.

"I'm alright, kid," she said. "I just had a little too much sake."

Kakashi wondered if he should be the one walking her home, but he'd seen her fight once. She could probably still beat almost any ninja in the village, even drunk.

When she left him at the Moreno's house he watched her walk slowly and unsteadily toward his house. _It's a little late for visiting, _he thought.

Kakashi wondered if the Morenos had a curfew. He didn't want to get in trouble when he'd just moved in.

Akihiro was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a hunting magazine. "You're late," he said without looking up.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said. "I fell asleep at a friend's house. I'll leave word if I'm going to be out late again."

Akihiro put down the magazine, smiling at Kakashi. "Are you always this polite?"

"No sir," Kakashi said. "I try though. My father raised me that way."

"You're not in trouble," Akihiro said. "After dealing with Ibiki you're kind of mild."

_I'm not mild, _Kakashi thought, but he couldn't imagine trying to keep up with Ibiki – at least not the Ibiki he used to know.

"So you were sleeping at a friend's house?" Akihiro asked. "Have you been having trouble sleeping here?"

_Oh crap, _Kakashi thought. He didn't want to give away Ibiki's secret.

"Just a bit," he said. "It will get better."

"Mother has a warm drink she makes when we have sleeping problems," Akihiro said. "Would you like one?"

"I don't want to bother her." Kakashi said.

"She likes doing things like that," Akihiro said. "She's reading right now. I'll get her."

Kakashi sat in the kitchen, watching her warm milk and put something in it. "It's just vanilla milk," she said, "but it helps people get some rest."

He drank the drink, and he wondered if this was what it would have been like to have a mother.

Kakashi noticed that her eyes were red and had dark half-circles under them. "Are you feeling ok, Mother?" he asked. "You look tired."

"I've been a bit out of sorts lately," she said, and she tucked a bit of thinning gray hair behind an ear. "I get that way sometimes. Don't worry about it."

He hoped she hadn't been worrying about him. _This isn't going to do anything, _he thought, but just a few minutes later he felt himself nodding off. He thanked her and went to bed.

Ibiki leaned over the side of the top bunk. "Where have you been?" he asked.

"If I tell you, you have to keep it a secret," Kakashi said.

"I'll keep yours if you keep mine."

"I'm already keeping a couple of yours," Kakashi said.

"So tell me already", Ibiki said. This was the old Ibiki – the one who loved telling or hearing a good story. He loved anything with some good fun involved.

"Ok, but don't tell anyone. I don't want Anko mad at me."

"Oh. It's about Anko?" Ibiki said. "I thought it was going to be interesting."

"I kissed her," Kakashi said. _Technically, she kissed me, but it doesn't matter._

"No way," Ibiki said. "How did that happen?"

"I fell asleep over at her place, and when we woke up I kissed her."

"You slept with her?" Ibiki asked.

"Well yeah," Kakashi said. "I mean, that's not weird. I've done it before, on missions."

"You slept with Anko before?" Ibiki said. "You're lying."

"It's not a big deal," Kakashi said. _Why is he making such a big deal about us sleeping together? _Kakashi wondered.

"It's a big deal," Ibiki said. "You slept with her _and _kissed her. That means she's your girlfriend now."

"Does not," Kakashi said.

"It does," Ibiki said. "You have to buy her dinner and stuff now. That's what happens."

"I buy her dango when she's angry," Kakashi said. "It keeps her from yelling."

"So what was it like?" Ibiki asked.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells," he said, remembering something he'd heard his father say once to Jiraiya.

"Fine," Ibiki said. "Don't tell. I don't really care."

Kakashi heard him huff, and Ibiki lay back down.

_I have to get some sleep, _Kakashi thought. He still didn't feel safe around the Interrogator.

He summoned Pakun. "Keep an eye out tonight," Kakashi whispered to his favorite summon. "I'll explain tomorrow."

Pakun nodded and settled in, surveying his surroundings.

Ibiki leaned back over the side of the bed. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I summon Pakun at night sometimes," Kakashi said.

"Oh my god! You've got to be kidding!" Ibiki said, laughing so hard he snorted.

"What?" Kakashi asked. "My uncle uses his summon for security at night while he's on missions. It's the same thing. I feel safer with him around."

"The big, scary Jounin uses his summon like a teddy bear," Ibiki said.

"I do not," Kakashi said.

Ibiki snickered. "Don't worry," he said. "I won't tell anyone."

Kakashi pulled Pakun close to him, and he heard the pug chuckle. "Not you too," he said.

"It's ok to be a kid sometimes," Pakun said. "I'll keep an eye out tonight."

Kakashi finally slept well, dreaming of Anko and dango.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was 2 am, but Sakumo had taken to keeping night hours. He had less of a chance of seeing people, and he just did what little shopping he needed to do at the local convenience store. He only had to go out occasionally during the day for his low-level missions, and people had quit bothering him. Most people didn't talk to him, but they didn't harass him anymore.

He heard a knock at the door and pulled his kunai. He couldn't think of any good reason for someone to be here this late. He created a clone and stepped back into the shadows.

"Who's there?" the clone asked.

"Just little old Tsunade," he heard from outside.

_She sounds drunk, _he thought. He let her in, and she put her arms around him.

"I ran in to Kakashi earlier," she said. "I think you might need a bit of cheering up."

She kissed his clone sloppily, and it smelled liquor on her.

_I shouldn't let her do this, it_ thought, but Sakumo had never been one to resist a pair of magnificent breasts. He took the place of his clone and kissed Tsunade, but just as he was about to reach for her shirt she passed out and slid against him.

He lowered her onto the couch with a sigh and cursed his father for making him such a gentleman. He covered her with a blanket and went to bed, frustrated. At least she'd come by for a visit.

"You want to play Shoji?" he asked his clone.

"Sure, why not?" the clone said.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

AN: So, as the story develops I had to go back and change some of the warnings to include unresolved sexual tension. Keeping the no sex tag, but barely. Also, I'm listing Kaka/Anko as a couple, because that's going to play into the plot. They're so adorable at that age. I added a Sakumo/Tsunade pairing as well. The story isn't exactly going in the direction I planned, but Sakumo and the others want to do their own thing. Who am I to tell such a sexy ninja no? I think I'm getting a crush on Sakumo.

And yes, Tsunade is slutty here. I'll put that in the warnings too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo and the clone played the game for a few hours, and when Tsunade woke she could hear the two of them talking in the kitchen. They sounded exactly alike, but she could tell which one was the clone from the context of their conversation.

"So what are you going to do now?" the clone asked. "It's not good if you're so lonely you're resorting to calling clones for conversation."

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "I have a few friends left, but they're busy, and I don't really try talking to anyone else. I was thinking about trying out the Waffle House tonight. Night people tend to be…different."

"Do you mean the drunks and druggies might be more accepting because they're fucked up too?" the clone asked.

"Why are my clones always such jerks?" Sakumo asked.

"But it's true, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's true. I'd just love to have a conversation with someone who doesn't look at me like I kicked their puppy. The whole village seems to blame me for the entire war right now. I know I fucked up, but it would be nice to meet a few people who could just talk with me."

"And you could get a waitress back here, huh?" the clone asked.

"Well, it's been awhile," Sakumo said. "I'm not used to going this long without a woman. It's not just the sex. I need to be with one. And you know those night shift waitresses. They tend to get lonely too."

"It's too bad Tsunade passed out last night," the clone said. "I would have loved some of that."

_What the hell did I do last night? _Tsunade wondered. All of her clothes were still on, if somewhat out of place from sleeping. _Sakumo wouldn't do anything I didn't want, _she thought.

"I would have released you anyway," Sakumo said. "I'm not double-teaming my brother's teammate."

"That's too bad," the clone said. "It would have been fun."

"You're pushing it," Sakumo said. "You'd better mind your tongue or I'll release you."

"I'm just saying things you repress," the clone said. "You need to face some of them."

"You might call it repressing those things. I think of it as acting honorably. A real man doesn't just do whatever he wants to do; he does what's right."

"I see it's served you well," the clone said. "How's that working out for you? Is the village any better for your "honorable actions"? Is your son better off? Did you even think of him once while you were helping Tsume and dooming so many people to death, Sakumo?" The clone's voice rose as it spoke, and Tsunade heard the scraping of chairs. She peeked over the couch and saw Sakumo and his own clone leaning toward each other, rage on their faces and their fists clenched.

"What do you know about it?" Sakumo asked. "In a few moments you won't even exist. I'm the one who has to live with this, not you."

"And the worst part is that you'd do it again, wouldn't you?" the clone said. "You'd sacrifice a mission because you don't have it in you to ignore your instincts. You're such a loser. The village is right, and Kakashi was wrong. You should break this one promise and just end it before you cause him more pain." Tsunade saw the clone pull a kunai and held it out. "Here you go," it said. "Do the honorable thing right now."

Sakumo waved a dismissive hand, and the clone put the kunai away.

_Oh god, _Tsunade thought. _Is he suicidal? _She felt how selfish she'd been, but she'd been so busy at the hospital she hadn't been thinking about much else lately.

"I can't do that," Sakumo said. "I've never broken a promise to my son yet, and I'm not about to start now. I might not be much, but if I kill myself he'll blame himself. It's stupid, but you know how kids are."

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" the clone asked. "After what you did his future is set. He's as doomed as you are."

Sakumo roared with anger and sent his fist into the clone's face. It dissipated in a flurry of oak leaves that settled to the floor. Sakumo stood, flushed and glaring at the pile of leaves.

"My son is not doomed," Sakumo said quietly. "He'll do better than this. I have faith in him."

"Sakumo?" Tsunade asked from the couch. "What was all that about?"

He looked toward her, confusion on his face. She wished he would take that damned mask off so she could see him more clearly, but she'd never seen him without it, and she knew he wouldn't start now.

"Tsunade? I forgot you were here. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. Don't worry about that; I'm sorry you had to see it."

"I've been out of the loop for too long," Tsunade said. "I know we don't know each other well, but you can talk to me if you need to. I don't like seeing you like this."

"There isn't really much to say," he said. "What's done is done, and there's no bringing back the dead. I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life, and since I can't kill myself because of my son that might be a long time. I've come to terms with that."

"What I just heard didn't sound like you coming to terms with anything," Tsunade said. "That sounded more like you're about to snap."

"It's not as bad as it sounded," Sakumo said. "My clones and I don't get alone sometimes. I only called it because I wanted someone to talk to."

"That's putting it mildly," Tsunade said. "It was like it was the exact opposite of you. I've never heard you say things like that."

Sakumo realized she'd heard his clone discussing what it would have done with Tsunade if it had been given the chance, and he felt his entire face go red.

"I'm so sorry you heard that," he said. "My clones tend to be really crude sometimes. I mean, I'd never… we didn't… um…" He scratched the back of his head. "I'd never do anything to a woman that she didn't want."

"I don't remember much of last night," Tsunade said. "What exactly happened?"

"Not much," Sakumo said. "You kissed my clone when you were drunk, and you passed out. That's all."

She looked at him, looking so confused and vulnerable. She liked the feeling of power that she had over him at the moment. She'd tried to have that with Orochimaru, but he'd always slipped away from her. She had complete control of Jiraiya's heart – if she discounted the whores, but he was so unattractive and goofy. She could have the same thing with Sakumo, but without the irritations of Jiraiya's personality. They were both lonely, and she knew the cure for that.

She looked at his well-formed chest. Sakumo's muscles pushed at his t-shirt, and she wanted to run her fingers across them. _That body is luscious, _she thought.

She stepped to him and put her arms around him, pressing her body against him. She noticed him glance down at her chest.

_That's right. You want this, _she thought when she saw a bit of movement under his mask. _I see you licking your lips, _she thought.

"I'm sober now," she said. "With my schedule it's been too long for me, too. We could finish what we started last night." She grinned.

She saw his throat muscles work as he gulped, and he whimpered a bit. _I really got the wrong Hatake on my team, _she thought_._

She slipped a finger under his mask, but he caught her hand before she could pull the mask off. He stepped away from her, breaking their embrace. He ran both hands through his hair, pulling at it slightly. "I can't do this to my brother," he said. "I'm sorry. I forgot myself last night. I don't think this is a good idea." She saw his eyes drift downward again, and his tongue moved under his mask.

"Always the honorable one, aren't you?" she asked. "It's ok. You could probably use a friend more than a lover right now anyway."

"Yes, but…later - in about 15 minutes or so." He looked at her breasts again. "Excuse me," he said, and hurried to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. She heard the shower running and chuckled.

She didn't feel as uncomfortable with the situation as he obviously did, but for some reason Sakumo had as much reserve as Jiraiya lacked, and she'd never been prudish. He probably wasn't used to being the one seduced, either.

_It's odd that he's so shy with me, _she thought. _I've seen him hit on enough women that I thought he was the bold type. _But she realized she had something they didn't have. Sakumo and Tsunade might as well have had Jiraiya forming a physical barrier between them.

_Damn, _she thought. _I'm going to have to find someone soon, or get some more batteries._

She decided to raid his kitchen, and of course she found the sake in the cupboard. She decided against drinking it. She knew she tended to be horny when she was drunk, and Sakumo had really gotten her wet and ready just being so close to her. He'd said no, and she was afraid if she got drunk right now she might get aggressive with him.

_I'm too much stronger than him for that,_ she thought. Jiraiya might forgive her for sleeping with his brother, but not for raping him.

_As if I would, _she thought with regret. It was still an enticing thought, but her own sense of honor would have stopped her, at least while she was sober.

When he came out of the shower he at least looked a little more relaxed. "Would you, um, like some tea?" he asked.

_I've never heard him so hesitant before, _she thought, and she wondered if it was just the sexual tension, or if he had a new confidence problem. He'd always seemed so arrogant before.

She let him fix her tea she didn't really want, and she decided to behave herself. "So how is Kakashi?" she asked, trying to find something Sakumo might want to talk about.

"He's been living with the Morenos," Sakumo said. "I think it's best for him to distance himself from me right now."

"I always did like the little brat," Tsunade said. She sipped at her tea, and she saw Sakumo blush slightly. She had a lovely mental picture of them together, and she smiled and winked at him.

_It's adorable how confused he looks right now, _she thought. _I wish he was a bit less honorable._

Sakumo had a cooling cup of tea in his own hand, but Tsunade didn't really think he'd lower his mask to drink it. _That's too bad, _she thought. _I'd love to see what he's hiding._

"You said last night that you saw Kakashi," Sakumo said.

"I don't remember," she said. "I wish I remembered more of last night. I seem to have lost a lot of money and ended up on a random couch."

She decided to mess with him a bit. If nothing else this was obviously taking his mind off his troubles. A little sexual frustration was better than thinking about his failures. He could work it out with his hand later. If she was lucky he might forget about his dumbass of a brother long enough to take her. Blood might be thicker than water, but sperm was a lot more insistent.

She leaned forward as if she wanted the sugar he'd sat on the table, and she spilled tea on her chest. It wet her shirt.

"Oops," she said. "I'm clumsy this morning, aren't I?" She reached across the table for a napkin, letting her breasts press against the table so he'd get a good view. She heard Sakumo take a deep breath. When she looked up Sakumo had a wide-eyed, almost panicked look.

"I'm soaked," she said. "I don't suppose you have a shirt you could lend me, do you? I really need to get out of this one."

The cup in Sakumo's hand shattered as he crushed it, and they both jumped. He opened his hand and pulled out a large piece of glass. Blood ran freely, staining the white tablecloth.

She moved around the table to him, suddenly a doctor again. The hand was bleeding too much for it to be a shallow cut, but it would probably heal in a few days with some treatment.

She placed her hand over the cut and channeled chakra into it, mending the cut. She heard Sakumo breathing heavily and looked up to see him sitting with his eyes closed, his face flushed and mouth open under the mask.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Your chakra is amazing," he said, his voice almost a whisper. "What are you doing to me?"

She'd heard of this happening before. Medical chakra affected different people in different ways, and occasionally a medic and a wounded ninja reacted to each other like this. A few very steamy relationships had started this way.

She felt the wound close under her hand, and she ran her finger over the newly healed, sensitive skin, putting just a bit of chakra into his hand. "I'm just healing you," she said. "Are you in any pain?"

He didn't answer, but he didn't stop her either.

_He's not telling me to stop, _she thought, and keeping her hand on his she moved onto his lap. She kept a continuous stream of chakra flowing into his hand.

This time when she pulled down his mask he didn't try to stop her. _Nice, _she thought as she looked at the broad chin. She kissed him, and he put the hand she wasn't healing on her back, pulling her closer to him.

Glad that he'd finally gotten over his shyness, she kissed him and let him caress her. She took his hand and began massaging it again with her chakra while he kissed her.

She put a sudden jolt of chakra into his hand, and she felt his entire body jerk under him.

_It's been too long, _she thought. She was just about to seduce him completely when they heard a knock at the door.

"Oy, Lazy-ass. Wake up!" they heard Jiraiya yell outside.

"Hide in the bedroom," Sakumo whispered. "He'll kill me if he finds out."

She hid, peeking out of the doorway so she could watch.

"Get dressed," Jiraiya said when Sakumo answered the door. "You've been here too long. I'm taking you out for a while. We'll go fishing or something where you don't have to deal with people."

"Not now," Sakumo said.

"You look weird," Jiraiya said. "Do you have a fever or something? You're all flushed."

"Yeah. I'm not feeling well," Sakumo said. "I seem to have come down with a case of Brother-itis."

"What?" Jiraiya asked, but Sakumo had already shut the door in his face.

"Come back later," Sakumo yelled through the door.

Tsunade came from the bedroom. "Where were we?" she asked.

She saw his eyes travel down her body. "We were about to make one amazingly enjoyable mistake," he said. "I really want you, but I just can't do this."

"It's just Jiraiya, isn't it?" she asked. "He knows I'm not interested in him. You're not doing anything wrong."

"I doubt he'd see it that way," Sakumo said. "For what it's worth, you're spectacular, and if it was honorable I'd want to be with you."

She rolled her eyes. "I hope the Hatake drama gene didn't get passed on to your son. I swear, you and your brother are both such drama-queens sometimes. Call me if you change your mind."

She went back into the bedroom to dress, and when she came out he was in the bathroom again. She decided to leave him a note. _Thanks for an entertaining morning. I'll be thinking of you tonight. _

Sakumo heard the front door slam from the shower. "That was not honorable," he said. _I really hope Jiraiya never finds out about this._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that day Tsunade saw Jiraiya and Kakashi talking near the training fields. She walked up to them.

"You look angrier than usual." Jiraiya said. "Who peed in your cereal this morning?"

She punched him in the shoulder, sending him flying into a tree.

"What was that for?" Jiraiya asked, rubbing his head.

She pointed an accusing finger at him. "You…he…I almost. Do you have any idea how long it's been?"

"Make some sense, woman!" Jiraiya said.

She took a shoe off and flung it at his head. He dodged just in time, and the shoe buried itself in the tree up to the base of the heel – right where his head had been.

Kakashi watched her kick her other shoe off and storm away. "Wow. She's really crazy."

"Yeah," Jiraiya said. He grinned. "The crazy ones are the best in bed though."

"Why?" Kakashi asked. "What do they do?"

"Nothing kid. Forget I said that."

"That reminds me," Kakashi said. "I have some questions I need to ask you."

"So shoot," Jiraiya said as he brushed dirt and tree bark off himself.

"You know a lot about women, right?" Kakashi asked.

"I know everything about women!" Jiraiya said.

"Really?" Kakashi asked doubtfully.

"It's disrespectful to look at me in that tone of voice," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I know most things about women," Jiraiya said. "What do you need to know?"

"I need to know a lot," Kakashi said.


	11. Chapter 11

Jiraiya ruffled Kakashi's hair, and Kakashi scowled at him and tried to push it back into what shape it could hold.

"Don't do that," Kakashi said. "It makes me look silly."

"I can't help it sometimes," Jiraiya said. "You'll understand when you have kids someday."

"Mmmm…," Kakashi said, still scowling.

"Don't pout," Jiraiya said. "You're too old for that. You said you had some questions for me?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. He looked around. "Can we go somewhere else? I don't want one of my friends overhearing. It's sort of embarrassing."

"We'll get some ice-cream and talk in the park," Jiraiya said. "How about that?"

"I don't like sweet things," Kakashi said. "You know that. Just dango, and I don't want any right now."

"Ok, so I'll get some ice-cream. What do you want?"

"Nothing," Kakashi said. "I just want to talk." He fidgeted.

He was scowling again. "You're impatient today," Jiraiya said. "Don't be rude."

"Sorry Oji-Jiraiya. I'm really nervous about something."

"Did you get in trouble?" Jiraiya asked. "I'll help you, but you need to be honest with me."

"I might be in trouble," Kakashi said. "I don't know. I don't want to talk here. Too many people are training."

"Ok then. We'll wait," Jiraiya said. He decided to skip the ice-cream. He hadn't really wanted it anyway. He had forgotten that Kakashi didn't eat sweets. _He's just not a normal kid in any way, _Jiraiya thought. He wondered how much Kakashi's development had been warped by being in ANBU so early. He still couldn't believe they'd let a child be in Special Ops, deadly or not. And the worst part was that Kakashi had been really good at it.

_He looks so serious today, _he thought. _I hope he's ok. _Kakashi had seemed his relatively normal self earlier, but Jiraiya knew how he was. Now that he'd fixated on something he wouldn't quit worrying himself until he felt like he had enough answers.

_That kid is just like his father, _Jiraiya thought fondly. He barely stopped himself from messing up Kakashi's hair again. He just had the urge sometimes. It was so cute when he got out of sorts over it, but Jiraiya knew he shouldn't do it often. Dignity was so important to Kakashi – just like Sakumo at that age. Jiraiya messed with his brother so much when they were younger.

He let Kakashi choose where they went when they got to the park, and he noticed that Kakashi chose an open space near a cherry tree. Jiraiya approved. Even when he was distracted and off duty, Kakashi thought like a ninja, picking a spot with several escape routes and a tree he could take branches from for substitution jutsus if necessary.

"Did you pick this spot for strategic reasons?" Jiraiya asked, curious. _I knew he was good, but I didn't know he was this mature as a warrior._

"Of course," Kakashi said. "I'd be stupid to be unobservant. Sensei taught me better than that."

Jiraiya stretched out on the uncomfortable wooden bench, trying to find a position that was a little more forgiving to his tired body. He had too much work and not enough time to rest recently. He'd tried to get Sakumo out of the house for his own good, but he was a little glad his brother hadn't wanted to come out today. He loved Sakumo, but he was difficult to deal with sometimes, and when he was moody he could be a real drain.

He leaned back and put his arms out, taking up most of the bench. Kakashi was small enough not to need much space.

"So what's up?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakashi looked at the ground and kicked at a frog that was passing. He obviously didn't try to hit it – just scare it. If he'd meant it to be dead it would have been.

"Don't do that," Jiraiya said. "It's a living thing and deserves our respect too." He knelt and took the frog gently in his hands.

"Sorry," Kakashi said. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Jiraiya stroked the frog's back. "He's ok. Just remember to be kind. It makes the difference between a good man and a bad one."

"That sounds like something Dad said once," Kakashi said.

"You should listen to your father," Jiraiya said. "Most of the time he's a wise man."

"I would listen, if he would talk to me," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya heard a sniffle. He took the frog to a small, nearby pond and put it by the water. "Be careful little brother," he said to the frog. The frog jumped into some reeds, looking back and croaking once.

When Jiraiya turned back to face Kakashi he saw him wiping his eyes. The bench was facing the tree, and Jiraiya settled himself at the base, leaning against it. The ground was more comfortable than the bench anyway. He'd always preferred nature's work over human "improvements".

"Did you need to talk to me about your Dad?" he asked. He'd expected this. He figured he'd probably have many talks like this with the boy over the years. It would have been bad enough if Sakumo had died, but Kakashi had a ghost of a father – someone who drifted around the edges of his life – unattainable but frustratingly close.

"No," Kakashi said. "Not right now."

Jiraiya waited for him to say something else, but Kakashi just stared at the ground again. Jiraiya noticed that the visible part of his face was red, and Kakashi was fidgeting.

"Well, whatever it is has got you pretty worked up," Jiraiya said. "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"Ankokissedmeandweslepttogeth erandnowIbikisaysI'mherboyfried," Kakashi blurted.

"Whoa! Slow down," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi took a deep breath. "Anko kissed me, and we slept together, and now Ibiki says I'm her boyfriend."

"Err, define "slept together"," Jiraiya said. _Surely he's not already having sex? _He wondered.

"I took a nap at her place, and she was tired and took a nap with me. Ibiki said it's really important, and I've heard some of the older guys talk about it. They don't say much around me, but I guess it's important or something. What does it mean?"

_It means I'm going to kill Sakumo for this, _Jiraiya thought. _How do I even begin here?_

"Ibiki doesn't know what he's talking about just yet," Jiraiya said. "Sleeping in the same bed isn't a big deal. When people say "sleeping together" they mean…um…" He trailed off, unsure how to continue

_Do they have books about this? _He wondered. "You know what a figure of speech is, right?" he asked. There were some advantages to dealing with a young genius, and one of those was that Kakashi had already been educated almost at twice his age level.

"Sure," Kakashi said.

"Sleeping together" means sex," Jiraiya said.

"Ok," Kakashi said, giving him a blank look.

Jiraiya had a brief wish that an enemy might attack right then so he could be excused from this duty, but he'd already decided to fill the void that Sakumo had left as much as possible, and this was just one of those talks that had to happen.

"It's how babies get here," Jiraiya said.

"Who cares about babies?" Kakashi said. "What do babies have to do with anything?"

"When a man and a woman…I mean, usually a man and a woman, but not always. Sometimes it's two men or two women, or more…"

Kakashi's eyebrows were bunched together in concentration.

_I'm botching this,_ Jiraiya thought. "This is really hard to explain," he said. "Why don't you ask me specifically what you've been wondering about, and we'll start from there."

"Why are girls so weird?" Kakashi asked.

"Ok, maybe a little more specific than that," Jiraiya said. "No man has ever figured that one out."

"Ok, then what's so great about their mouths?" Kakashi asked.

_I am not explaining oral sex to a 10 year old, _Jiraiya thought. _I wonder how small they make condoms. He's going to get himself in trouble._

"I see you and Dad kiss women," Kakashi said. "And when Anko kissed me I felt weird. I never noticed before, but her mouth is really pretty."

_Kid has a real oral fixation, _Jiraiya thought. _The women are going to love him when he gets older._

"It's nice to kiss women," Jiraiya said. "We do it because it feels good." _Maybe he'll stop here and I'll get off easy for now, _Jiraiya thought. _I can get to the library and see if anyone has written about how to talk to kids about this kind of stuff._

"Is kissing sex then?" Kakashi asked. "I think there's more. There's something that's supposed to happen after that, isn't there?"

_Well shit, _Jiraiya thought. _He's really not going to let this go._

"Yes," he said. "When two _adults," _– he stressed the word – "care about each other they enjoy each other's bodies. But you're way too young for that. It's ok for you to kiss a girl if she wants you too, but you need to wait until you're older to do any more than that."

"So am I Anko's boyfriend now?" Kakashi asked. "Ibiki said I have to buy her stuff."

"If you want to be her boyfriend," Jiraiya said, relieved that Kakashi had changed direction. He really didn't want to have to explain the penis/vagina relationship, and there was only so much stalling he could do before it came to that. "Did she ask you to be?"

"I ran away," Kakashi said.

_O yeah. He's in trouble, _Jiraiya said. "You need to talk to her," he said. "She might be mad because you ran away. Take her something she likes."

"I hope she's not mad. She's scary when she's mad," Kakashi said. "Have you ever seen her fight?"

"No," Jiraiya said. "Is she good?"

"She's _insane,_" Kakashi said. "You should see it. I've never seen anyone with that much killing intent that wasn't an S-class ninja. Sometimes I just like to watch her train." He blushed again.

Jiraiya smiled. "Go talk to her. She sounds interesting. I've met her a few times, but I don't really know her."

He didn't tell Kakashi that he'd avoided Anko because she reminded him of painful memories of Orochimaru. He'd avoided Anko because she'd been Orochimaru's student. He didn't want to tell Kakashi anything Anko might not tell him herself. Unlike other people in the village Jiraiya didn't think she was going to betray the village and run back to Orochimaru. He just didn't like thinking too much about Orochimaru after he'd given up bringing him home.

"I'll talk to her. Thank you, Oji-Jiraiya. I feel better now. I might even kiss her this time."

"Good boy," Jiraiya said. "Are you actually going to let her see your face?"

"I guess I'll have to," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya chuckled. "Let me know how it goes." He felt light-hearted as he walked toward the Hokage tower for his meeting with Sarutobi. The war had worn him down, and it was good to see such an innocent, normal drama play out in front of him.

_I guess the kid is normal in at least one way, _he thought. _I just wish this wasn't happening so early. I hope it doesn't distract him from his training._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi went by the training fields, hoping to talk to Anko. _Oji-Jiraiya really does know everything about women, _he thought.

He saw her working on her tai-jutsu with a clone. He wondered why she almost always trained alone unless he or Gai wanted to work with her. It probably had something to do with her past with Orochimaru. He didn't know much about it. What he did know hadn't scared him away from her; it wasn't her fault her sensei had turned traitor, and he didn't understand why so many people held it against her.

He watched her spar, leaping around quickly and matching move for move with her own clone. _She's so pretty, _he thought.

She finished, and when she looked toward him he felt embarrassed to have been caught spying on her. He waved from the fence. "Hi Anko," he yelled.

She glared at him and punched a nearby tree. Kakashi heard a loud crack, and the tree broke in half and fell in two different directions, hitting the ground with a great explosion of pine needles.

_I forgot that Oji-Jiraiya said to buy her something she likes, _Kakashi thought. _She's probably mad at me for running away._

"What do you want?" Anko asked.

"I thought you might like to get some dango – my treat," he said.

Anko grinned. "Sure," she said.

As they walked he took her hand, hoping she didn't notice how sweaty his was. He didn't want her to know that he was nervous. When they passed an abandoned building he pulled her into an alley-way. He didn't want anyone else to see him without his mask. He remembered his father saying he should keep his face covered in public. He didn't remember why – just that he should do it.

"You can kiss me again if you want," he said. He put his hand to his mask, ready to pull it down when she asked him to.

She pulled her hand out of his. "I don't want to anymore," she said.

"Noni?" Kakashi asked. This wasn't something he'd even considered. "But yesterday…"

"Yesterday you ran away. I'll kiss you later, maybe."

She walked away from him, and he watched, feeling confused. She stopped and turned. "Are you coming or not?" she asked. "I thought we were getting dango." She smiled, and he knew he would follow her as long as she smiled at him like that.

"Sure," he said. "Um, are you my girlfriend now?"

"I think so," Anko said.

"But I can't kiss you?"

"Not right now," she said.

She did let him take her hand again. He kept glancing sideways at her, trying to understand why he felt so nervous. He didn't even like dango, but he ate some anyway – just because she liked it.

Obito kicked his ass at practice later.

"Baka," Obito said. "You're fighting like shit today."

"I just thought I'd let you know what it felt like to win for once," Kakashi said. _He's right though, _he thought. _This thing with Anko can't get in the way of my training. I'd better focus. _

Rin was getting better at least. She was finally getting to the point where she'd attack him during sparring sessions, and she wasn't bad at tai-jutsu. She was hesitant, but Kakashi thought she'd outgrow that – if she lived. She was still fucking useless for the moment though.


	12. Chapter 12

_I'd better head home. Mother will be cooking, _Kakashi thought. _Did I really just think of their house as home? _He felt disloyal to his father. _I have a home already, _he thought.

_I'd better quit fooling around with my domestic problems, _he thought. _There's too much going on next week. _He was nervous about the invasion; most of the village was. They had pushed the Rock Ninjas back almost to the border, and next week they were supposed to have a push into their country. The adult ninjas were setting up traps and ambushes, and the reports he'd read suggested the Rock Ninjas were digging in. When the full weight of the Fire Nation hit them, he was sure they would be crushed, but he'd only been on missions before. He'd never actually been a part of such a big push.

"Hello my rival!" he heard nearby.

_It's about time, _Kakashi thought. _He hasn't challenged me in days. I was starting to wonder if he was getting bored with me._

He waved half-heartedly, because he knew it drove Gai nuts when he seemed lazy.

"My team is done training, and I'm just getting started," Gai said. "They don't have enough energy."

"So I guess you want to spar, huh?" Kakashi asked. He sighed and rolled his eyes as if it was a big intrusion into his day, but he was glad to see Gai. Gai was powerful, but he was simple. He wasn't that bright, and he was so straightforward it was painful to be around him sometimes, but Kakashi had never had to wonder where he stood with him. In the never-ending politics of the village, Gai was just so genuine that he was like a bright light in a dark room.

"You should be more energetic!" Gai said. "I quit eating meat, and look at me!" he said, pushing out his chest.

"You're getting pudgy," Kakashi said, pointing at Gai's gut. He didn't know how someone could get fat eating vegetables, and he could swear that small pouch around Gai's stomach hadn't been there the last time he saw him. "Are you putting a lot of cheese on the vegetables or something?"

"Shh," Gai said. "That's why I was trying to find you. It's not fat. I'm hiding something."

"How did you manage to get through practice without it getting crushed then?" Kakashi asked. Gai was always doing something crazy, but somehow he still managed to be one of the strongest ninjas Kakashi knew personally. He was curious in spite of himself.

"We did strictly tai-jutsu today. I don't know anyone who can beat me at tai-jutsu that isn't at least a really strong Chunin."

Kakashi nodded. He couldn't beat Gai at tai-jutsu. They had a rule that a challenge could only be given once, and the time they had fought with tai-jutsu Gai had almost immediately won. It was humiliating, but Kakashi got him back when he challenged him to a nin-jutsu contest.

"So what is it?" Kakashi asked, "not that I care that much."

Gai checked to make sure they weren't being watched and pulled out a book. It was orange and had a man and a woman on the front. Little hearts floated upward.

"It looks silly," Kakashi said. "Is it a textbook or something?"

"Not exactly," Gai said. "Just take it home and read it. I challenge you to finish the first chapter tonight."

Kakashi slipped the book into his pouch. "I don't see what the big deal is, but ok." He left Gai and promptly forgot the book. He was thinking about what he needed to do to prepare for the next week, and he had to keep shutting thought of Anko, and his father, and the Interrogator out of his mind.

_I'd better meditate some later, _he thought. His mind felt cluttered.

Akihiro and Ibiki weren't there when he got home. Mother gave him a plate of vegetable stew with rice.

_I'm getting too used to being taken care of, _he thought. _It will make me soft. _But when she ruffled his hair he didn't fuss. For some reason the old woman made him feel safer, and he liked the attention.

He tried to help her clean up afterward, but she wouldn't let him. She kissed him on the cheek. "You're such a good boy," she said. "I'm glad my Ibiki has you around."

He was accustomed to reading on the porch, and he went outside and took out the book Gai had loaned him. He saw that his uncle was the author.

_It's Oji-Jiraiya's book that Dad won't let me read, _he thought. _I wonder what it's about._

The dedication almost made him close the book. "To all the women I've loved and lost. I still remember you – Jiraiya."

_Really? _Kakashi thought. _This already sounds bad. Oh fuck. It's a novel. _

He put the book in his pack, feeling disappointed. _I guess I shouldn't expect Gai to have better taste than this, _he thought. _I hate novels. They're such a waste of time._

Still, a challenge was a challenge. He took the book out and started to read. It started off with a country woman in a barn explaining to her feudal lord that she didn't know how to repay him for help he'd given to her family. Kakashi felt shocked when the feudal lord pushed her against the wall and started kissing her while she cried for help.

_What the hell_? Kakashi wondered. _I hate this guy already. _He didn't know much about kissing, but his father and uncle never did that sort of thing to women. It was always obvious that they wanted to be kissed.

A farmhand ran into the barn and stabbed his master through with a pitchfork. "We have to leave, now," he said, while her master gasped and died on the ground. The woman fell into his arms and fainted. The farmhand professed his love to her, even though she was unconscious, and then he threw her onto the back of a horse and fled with her.

_Ok, this is better than I thought. _A good ninja was supposed to protect the weak of the village, and Kakashi liked the farmhand.

They stopped under a deadfall later, and when she woke up she asked him to kiss her.

_Oh, so it's about kissing then, _Kakashi thought. He hadn't really gotten enough answers from his uncle.

_He kissed her and pushed her down onto the soft, mossy ground, _Kakashi read. He turned the page with excitement, hoping to finally find out what came after kissing.

"Oh no you don't," Kakashi heard behind him, and even with his fast reflexes the book was gone from his hands before he could hide it.

Akihiro stood behind him. _I didn't even hear him, _Kakashi thought. _Damn, he's good._

"Where did you get this?" Akihiro asked.

Kakashi hesitated. He wasn't going to lie to Akihiro. It wouldn't be honorable. He wasn't going to snitch on Gai though.

"Someone gave it to me," he said. "I don't want to get him in trouble."

Akihiro was dressed in his Jounin uniform, and he tucked the book into his pouch. "I'll keep this until you're older. Don't tell Mother about this. It would upset her."

"Why?" Kakashi asked. "What's it about?"

"How far did you get?" Akihiro asked.

He told Akihiro about the rescue. "He'd just kissed her, and I wanted to know what happened next."

"That's a good place to stop for now," Akihiro said. "It's about adult things, Kakashi. You're too young to think about things like this. We'll have a talk when you get older."

_Everyone treats me like I'm a kid, _Kakashi thought.

"I talked with my uncle earlier, but I didn't learn much."

He wondered why Akihiro looked so uncomfortable. "Just forget about the book and focus on your training for now," he said. "There's plenty of time for this sort of thing when you get older. I love all of Jiraiya-sama's books. They're just too old for you."

"I read tactical texts for fun. I've read Sun-Tzu's Art of War and understood it," Kakashi said.

"Icha-Icha paradise is a different type of book," Akihiro said. "Just trust me on this one, ok?"

"Yes sir," Kakashi mumbled. Gai was going to kill him for getting his book confiscated.

"Ibiki is having dinner right now," Akihiro said. "I had a council meeting today and he helps when I have to leave the house. You and I need to talk about what happened in there today. It concerns you."

"Are there still people who want to demote me?" Kakashi asked.

"No one said anything about that, but the real problem is a few members of the Uchiha clan right now. There's been friction between them and the Hokage. They feel that you are in danger of following in Sakumo's footsteps, and Uchiha Tomiko is pushing for you to be adopted into their clan. She said if you're going to be a Jounin then you should at least be in the strongest clan so you can learn discipline."

"Noni? Why would they want to do that?"

"They think that because I stood against the movement to have Sakumo executed that I'm going to be soft with you. She was polite and politic about it, but she made it clear that she thinks I'm an ally of Sakumo's. The Uchihas aren't all hard, but their clan leaders have rock-hard hearts. I think they want to indoctrinate you into their way of thinking. The Hatakes have always been strong, and the Uchihas have clashed with them at times. They probably want the white chakra as part of their clan."

"So I'm a breeding animal to them?" Kakashi asked. "They think they're going to match me up like one of the Inuzuka dogs so they can get the best puppies?" He remembered Jiraiya saying sex was where babies came from. Apparently breeding and sex were related. He'd have to figure that out later. He knew that the Inuzukas put two dogs together for breeding, and eventually puppies came out of it. He supposed it was the same way with humans.

"I'm afraid so, kid. Ibiki and I aren't going to let that happen. Tomiko is strong, but it's just a small fraction of the Uchihas pushing for this. There are two other Uchihas on the council, and they kept silent. I don't think they'd help you, but they don't seem that into this. Just keep your eyes open. The Hokage said he doesn't support this, but I wouldn't put it past Tomiko to try to abduct you."

"Seriously?" Kakashi asked. "We're in the middle of a war and she's worried about which family is raising someone she doesn't even know? We should be fighting for Konoha right now, not fighting each other."

"I agree with you," Akihiro said, "but you're still at the age where good is good and bad is bad. Things aren't that simple. I've known Tomiko for decades. I don't like her, but she's as loyal a ninja as I've ever known; we just think differently. She sees herself as protecting Konoha and her clan. We all do the best we can to serve our village. Don't ever forget that. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't make them evil. She did say she respects you and wants you to grow up in a strong household. She gave the excuse that I'm too old to raise you, but she made it sound like a compliment. She's a crafty woman."

Kakashi filed the information away for later. Akihiro knew about things; he'd have to give it some thought.

"Isn't one of your teammates an Uchiha?" Akihiro asked.

"Yes. His name is Obito."

"It occurred to me that they could use him to lure you into a trap. I know that's a horrible way to talk about a teammate, but worse things have happened."

"There's no way Obito would ever betray me," Kakashi said. "He's an idiot, but he's a loyal one. I doubt they'd even tell him. He's not respected in the clan."

"I hope that's true, but be careful if he tries to get you to go anywhere."

"Yes sir," Kakashi said, but he didn't think it was anything to worry about. He wasn't naïve about village politics, but he knew Obito. The idiot wouldn't know how to betray a comrade if he wanted to. It just wasn't in his makeup.

_It's too bad he's so weak that he's not useful, _Kakashi thought.

Mother stuck her head out the door. "Your food is getting cold, Akihiro," she said, in a tone that Kakashi recognized as one that demanded obedience.

"Yes, dear," Akihiro replied. Kakashi had to help him stand. "I'm getting too old for this council business," he grumbled.

"Nonsense," Mother said. "You'll be a council member until you die."

"Probably," Akihiro said. "They'll probably be the death of me."

"Can I have just a couple more minutes?" Kakashi asked.

Mother's scowl went away, and she smiled at him. "Of course you can, sweetie. Just don't keep him long."

When they were alone again, Kakashi said. "I just realized what you were saying earlier. You supported my father in council?"

"I stood against his execution. It would have been for revenge and not justice. Even if he can't have a leadership role, your father is an extremely strong ninja, and the village needs him."

"Thank you," Kakashi said.

"I'm a council member," Akihiro said. "My own thoughts come second to the village needs. We carry burdens you can't even imagine."

"So you just did it because you're a council member?" Kakashi asked. "Do you want him dead?" He really needed to know.

"I did," Akihiro said, "but then I got my son back, and I have some pity for a man who can't even see his own son. I think that having to know another man is raising his son while he sits at home stewing in his own mind is punishment. I don't hold grudges Kakashi. It's something that I learned when I was younger. I have my son back. That's all that matters. I can't say that I forgive Sakumo, but I don't wish him any worse than the hell he probably already lives in."

"I'm sorry for what he did," Kakashi said. He'd wanted to say it before.

"It's not your fault. There will be people who try to put the blame on you because he's your father. Don't let them. You are your own man, and the Hatakes are a good clan. It's a pity it's dwindled down to just three men now, but you can do better than your father did. Try to be like your uncle – mostly. He's a little wild for my taste, but he's a good, loyal ninja, and a credit to Konoha."

Kakashi nodded. In all the concern over his father's fall from grace he hadn't even considered that Jiraiya's reputation might help save his clan's reputation. He felt as if part of the burden was lifted from his shoulders.

Akihiro patted him on the shoulder. "You have too much to worry about for a 10 year old. I know things are bad right now, but you should go play or something. You're still a kid. Do stuff that kids do, and know you're safe in my home."

He went in to dinner, leaving Kakashi to think. _What the hell are kids supposed to do then? _He wondered. Kids probably did different things in peacetime. He'd seen civilian children playing before, but it had always seemed boring to him. If one of them got even a scratch they cried. He couldn't imagine trying to "play" with one of them. He'd probably break a civilian on accident.

Ibiki was in their room, studying again. He put the book aside.

"Father told me what the Uchiha woman might do," Ibiki said. "We won't let it happen. You're family. No one is going to take my brother."

It was awkward, but Kakashi felt the same way about Ibiki now. He saw Ibiki's face change. The mouth drew into a line, and the eyes narrowed. He recognized the Interrogator.

"Ibiki speaks like a child," the Interrogator said, "but I share his sentiments. We need you here, and you're my brother as well. I'll do what needs to be done to protect you."

Kakashi didn't really like his condescending tone. "You act like you're not my age too," he said.

"I'm not," the Interrogator said. "I was born into pain and duty. I've never been a child, Kakashi. I'm here for a reason, and I won't forget that. I am a protector, and I won't fail."

"I believe you," Kakashi said. "I'm glad you were there when Ibiki needed you. Don't take him away from us completely though."

"That's his choice," the Interrogator said.

"Noni?"

"He's not as well as he seems. He talks to me a bit sometimes, and I know that the things they did haunt him. He's afraid that if he tells you too much you'll think he's weak."

"I can't ever think someone who survived that and came home ready to fight again is weak. I did before, but now I know better."

"Good. Let him know that. He needs someone to talk to, and I'm not much of a comfort to him. I don't know how to do that."

Ibiki blinked. "What just happened?" he asked.

"Did you black out?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "That hasn't happened since I was being held captive. I don't like it. What happened?"

"The Interrogator wanted to talk to me," Kakashi said. "He sees me as a brother too, and he wanted me to know he'll fight beside me. He said you need someone to talk to."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "I don't want you to think I'm a pussy though."

"I don't," Kakashi said. "I respect you. You're going to be a strong ninja, and you're already the only one our age who's had anything like what you've gone through happen. I don't think I could have handled it. I don't know how you did."

"That means a lot," Ibiki said.

"What did you need to talk about then?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing right now," Ibiki said. "I'll let you know when it gets bad. That's when I need to talk."

He considered trying to sleep without Pakun, but he still didn't feel quite right sleeping around the Interrogator. He wasn't afraid of him anymore; it was just weird. He felt like he was living with a wild dog – and maybe one that was rabid. He just didn't know.

He called Pakun, and the little pug didn't bother him about it this time. He just licked Kakashi's face and lay next to him.

"So what happened with Anko?" Ibiki asked.

"I didn't get to kiss her again," Kakashi asked. "She wouldn't let me."

"You should take her flowers," Ibiki said. "Women like flowers, and perfume."

"Civilian women like perfume," Kakashi said. "Kunoichi aren't going to give themselves away with that crap."

"You'd better give her something," Ibiki said. "She's crazy."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. He remembered Anko kissing the snake. "She's really crazy."

"I don't know why you mess with her," Ibiki said.

"I like her," Kakashi said. "She's different, and she doesn't moon over me like Rin. I don't know any other girls as strong as I am, and she does stuff I wish I could do, but I can't."

"Like what?"

"You remember the time she painted the Hokage monument pink?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "She had detention for a week and community service for a month.

"I think that's when I noticed her. I'd never do anything like that, but it's pretty cool."

"I guess," Ibiki said. "I really do need to study now. I'm training during the day and studying at night now. The Hokage said if I get some therapy he'll get me a sense in the police corps, and I can start studying with them. I never clicked with Takeo-sensei anyway."

"Why don't you have a team?" Kakashi asked. He'd wondered, but since he hadn't really known Ibiki well before the "incident", he'd never asked.

"I was just an extra after they matched up the other teams of three. The coordinator thought I'd do better by myself than anyone else would."

_Or no one could stand his annoying ass, _Kakashi thought, remembering how immature Ibiki used to be.

"He also said no one else would be able to put up with me," Ibiki said, grinning.

_Figures, _Kakashi thought.

He lay listening to the scratch of Ibiki's pen. He tried to imagine life as an Uchiha, and he didn't like it. It wasn't that they were a bad clan. He respected many of them, and some of them were pretty cool. But they were close-knit, separate from the rest of the village. It had always been him, his father, and Jiraiya, and that's how he liked it. Even now it was just Ibiki and his parents. He couldn't imagine being related to hundreds of people – especially against his will.

His stomach churned as he imagined being torn away from his new family. Pakun turned to him.

"What's wrong, pup?" he asked. "You smell worried."

"There's an Uchiha who wants to force me to live with their clan," Kakashi said. "I like it here. I don't want to leave."

He heard the scratch of the pen stop, and he knew Ibiki was listening.

"You can't do anything about it right now," Pakun said. "You'll just make yourself sick worrying. Think about something nice and try to sleep."

Kakashi thought about Anko's lips. _I wish she'd let me kiss her again, _he thought. _I'd even take my mask off. It would probably be a lot better without it._

He heard Ibiki's pen start again just before he fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

"Well, did you read the book?" Gai asked Kakashi the next day. He was practically dancing with energy, as always.

"Akihiro confiscated it," Kakashi said. "I read some. I guess I lost this challenge."

"I wanted to know what happened!" Gai said. "How am I going to find out now?"

"You didn't read it?" Kakashi asked. "Then why did you give it to me?"

"I chickened out," Gai said. "I was hoping you could tell me."

"Then you lost the challenge," Kakashi said.

"I never said I read it," Gai said. "I just challenged you to read it."

"I guess so," Kakashi said. "I'll give you this one on a technicality."

"You get to choose the next challenge," Gai said.

"I'll think about it. I don't have time for challenges right now. Akihiro told me something really weird last night, and I figure I'd better train as much as I can."

"So tell me," Gai said.

"I can't right now," Kakashi said. "It's council business, but it concerns me. I could be in some trouble."

"You know we'll stand by you," Gai said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "That's a lot of what's helping me get through all this right now."

He reluctantly told Gai that he needed to work on his Tai-Jutsu. "But go a little slower than usual. I want to study your movements."

Gai had a fluid grace few ninjas ever achieved, but no one could focus so much on one aspect of their art without becoming a master. Kakashi learned a few things, but he was still frustrated.

"You can master nin-jutsu and gen-jutsu by being a genius, but you can only master tai-jutsu by work. Being a genius just isn't enough. You'll see that someday."

"I work hard!" Kakashi said. "This is just something different than I'm used to. It's a different kind of work." His father wasn't the best at tai-jutsu either.

He left feeling a bit aggravated with Gai. "I have to go train with the losers," he said.

"You should value your team more," Gai said. "They're all you have on missions."

"They're rocks tied around my ankles," Kakashi said. "Our missions are ridiculous, because Sensei has to keep the missions at their level. I was doing things like this when I was seven, at the oldest."

Gai shrugged. "You talk like an old man sometimes. I choose to be more appreciative of the people who fight beside me."

"I appreciate the people who fight beside me that aren't useless," Kakashi said.

It was an old argument between them, and Kakashi didn't understand how Gai could feel that way when he had the same problem. Gai was too strong for his team, but he accepted it. Kakashi didn't know how he was so comfortable training with kids so far blow his level, but he admired Gai's loyalty.

Obito was late, as usual, and Rin was kicking stones around. "You want to go ahead and get started?" Kakashi asked. "I have things to do, and Sensei wanted us to train at least a couple hours together."

"He said it would build us as a team," Rin said. "We need that."

Kakashi kept his silence on that. As much as Rin annoyed him, he knew he was really angry with Obito for being late again, and he tried not to take his frustration out on Rin.

Rin attacked strongly this time. "You're getting better," Kakashi said. "If you'd fight like this on the field you could be a good ninja."

"I'm always concerned that you and Obito will get hurt if I put myself out there. You know how overprotective Obito is."

"I've noticed," Kakashi said. "I'll talk to Sensei about it."

Obito ran up, adjusting his goggles. "Sorry I'm late, but I had to help my mom buy groceries."

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Quit making excuses, loser. Punctuality is important. What would it be like if you did this on a mission?"

"But I'm always on time during missions," Obito said.

"You could try, Obito," Rin said.

_I wish she'd quit taking my side all the time just because she has that dumb crush, _Kakashi thought. _I'll be glad when I can get away from them. Maybe Ibiki wants to train. I've never sparred with him._

They were at least gelling in their fighting styles, and he had some hope that they might eventually be a decent team. _Such a waste of my time though, _he thought as Obito moved to protect Rin from his kick.

He barely broke a sweat, and he left feeling irritated. Obito ran after him. "Wait up," he said. "I need to talk to you."

"What do we have to talk about, Baka?" Kakashi asked.

"There's something weird going on at home," Obito said. "My Aunt Tomiko told me to invite you over to dinner at her place."

_Holy shit, _Kakashi thought. _Surely Akihiro wasn't right. I'd never suspect Obito of turning against me._

"Why would she want that?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know," Obito said, "but I don't think you should do it. There's something really wrong here. She was one of the loudest ones to say your father should be executed, and now she keeps talking about you. She's been saying that you should be taken in by a good family."

"I have been taken in by a good family," Kakashi said. "I don't need any help."

"I know," Obito said. "She's really nuts. Most of my close family don't even like to talk to her much. She's only important because of her parents. She's really been on about this."

_Thank god, _Kakashi thought. _He might be useless, but he's loyal. _He actually felt a burst of gratitude for his teammate.

"She gets what we call the "crazy eyes" when she's doing something really nuts, and someone usually gets caught in the middle."

"I'll be careful," Kakashi said.

"My family and I have been arguing about some stuff," Obito said. "I just want you to know that not all the Uchihas are against your Dad."

"You mean some of them actually support him?" Kakashi asked, surprised.

"No," Obito said, "but they see his punishment as enough to fit the crime. I don't agree with them. I don't think what he did was a crime at all. I think he's a hero."

"So you've said," Kakashi said. "I don't know about that."

"Well, you have me and a few other Uchihas that will stop her if she tries anything crazy. We're a police clan, and we won't let injustice happen."

"Thanks," Kakashi said. _Fat lot of good it will do me from him, _he thought, _but he might be stronger later. Maybe he'll be some use then._

As he walked home he felt as if he was being followed. He knew he wasn't being paranoid. His instincts were good, and he could hear little things that were out of place – a small shadow in the wrong place, or a slight movement most people wouldn't have even noticed. He was ready for an attack, but nothing happened.

He told Akihiro about it. Akihiro listened with a serious expression. "I didn't know how fast she'd act, but I'll tell Ibiki. I'm going to send Mother to stay with her cousin. I don't want her in the middle of a home invasion, if it comes to that."

"Sir, I don't want to put your family in danger," Kakashi said. "This is my problem, and I can go somewhere else until it's over."

"That's the last time you'd better say anything else like that, or I'll smack you," Akihiro said, and the look on his face told Kakashi he was serious. "No one chases a guest out of my home, let alone a member of my family. If she wants to take you, she'll find a heap of trouble when she gets here."

Akihiro looked stronger when he was determined, and Kakashi saw a glimpse of the man he must have been when he was younger. _Disabled or not, I bet he could still kill a lot of people, _he thought.

Ibiki was meditating, so Kakashi decided to leave him alone. Ibiki's ever present book sat on the desk, opened to about the middle and marked with underlining.

Kakashi stretched out on the small bed and put his arms behind his head, trying to sort through the things that had happened lately. He dozed lightly, having disturbing dreams.

He heard a sound that didn't belong, a scrape of wood from the direction of the window. He looked over, but all he saw was Ibiki meditating. Nothing looked out of place.

He blinked and sat up. "Ibiki?" he asked. "How long are you going to meditate?" Something seemed off.

"I don't know," Ibiki said. "I need to be at one with myself, and I haven't been lately."

_Ok, that sounds like something Ibiki would say, _Kakashi thought. _So why do I still feel as if something is wrong here?_

He looked the room over carefully. As far as he could tell everything was in the same place, and nothing was new. There weren't any weird smells, and he didn't hear any odd sounds. He was observant, and there hadn't been anything moved or changed.

_The colors are off, _he thought. _It's just a bit, but I knew something wasn't right. _Ibiki's hair was too dark, and the wall's were white instead of beige.

_Someone has me in a gen-jutsu! _Kakashi thought. "Release!" he said as he formed the hand seals, but nothing happened.

_Whoever did this is strong, _he thought. He channeled more chakra, but he still couldn't break the technique. _I hope an ally is around to pull me out of this, or I'm fucked. _

He fought the urge to panic and pulled his chakra slowly, building it as much as he could. He didn't know how long he had, but he might be able to break the jutsu if he put enough power into it.

"Release!" he said, trying one last time to free himself, but all he did was cause a flux around him. He saw a great eye with a Sharingan before the jutsu reasserted itself and the room returned to normal.

He could feel that his chakra was almost spent. _Damn the Hatake chakra problems! _He thought. He should have been able to break a gen-jutsu easily with his experience. He assumed Tomiko did this. _She must be incredibly strong._ He'd heard of her, but he'd never met her. He had a feeling that was about to change.

It seemed like a short time later that he began to see the colors swirl around him, but it could have been days or even weeks. The jutsu faded slowly, and he felt cold concrete under him. An old, musty smell greeted him even before the world faded into view. He saw a few dead roaches and some bits of paper trash, but other than that the room was empty.

Kakashi's arms and legs were tied securely, and he felt sore, as if he'd been tied for some time. He couldn't see well, but he could tell he was in a dark room. A small light bulb illuminated the room, and there wasn't any furniture or windows. He could barely make out the fuzzy outline of a woman in the room.

He blinked his eyes, hoping to clear them of whatever was blurring his vision, but nothing changed. He could see the woman kneel by him, but he couldn't see her features. She took his chin in her hand.

"Are you awake then?" she asked in a kind tone. "The blindness will wear off. I don't use that jutsu often, and it tends to disorient my targets."

"I assume you're Uchiha Tomiko," Kakashi said. "I was told you might come for me."

"I'm not going to hurt you," she said. "I'm here to help you, sweetie. You're finally safe."

"I don't generally feel safe when I'm tied up," Kakashi said. "If you're here to help me at least untie me."

"Not yet," she said. "You're still brainwashed. I'll work on that, but for now you need to trust me. This is for the best. Since you've heard of me, I assume they told you why I took you?"

"They said you want to take me into the Uchiha clan," Kakashi said.

She stroked his hair. "That's right, sweetie. You can call me Mother if you want. We're going to become very close."

Kakashi fought the urge to shudder. "Thank you, Mother," he said, feeling disgusted even as he said it. _I'd do better to work into her delusions, _Kakashi thought. _If I earn her trust I might escape._

"You'll be happy here," Tomiko said. "I'll make sure of it. My son is ready to accept you as a brother."

_I already have a brother, _Kakashi thought. _I sure as hell don't want that one. _

"I'd like that," Kakashi said. "I always wanted a brother."

"It's going to be rough going for a while," Tomiko said. "There are already people looking for you, but I have plans. I'm going to keep you here until the heat is off. Over time you'll grow to love us. I'll take care of your appearance later. A little hair dye should help, and without the mask I don't think you'll be recognized by anyone but your father, and since he's out of the picture that shouldn't be a problem."

_Oh come on, _Kakashi thought. _Not the mask too._

"My son and I are going to give you one of our eyes," Tomiko said. "You'll be a true Uchiha, and it's the best gift we can ever give you."

"Thank you ma'am," Kakashi said. _Oh shit, I'm fucked._

His eyes finally began to clear, and he could see that Tomiko was looking at his with what seemed to be genuine affection. She picked up a needle filled with a blue fluid. "Don't be afraid," she said. "I'm going to inject you with something that lowers your chakra signature. There are people looking for you right now, and a Sharingan might spot you."

"I don't think that's necessary," Kakashi said.

"Shh, baby. Mother knows best," she said. She pulled down his mask.

"I like the mask on," Kakashi said.

"You don't need it anymore," she said. "That's a Hatake tradition, and you're an Uchiha now. We're too proud of ourselves to wear masks."

She chuckled. "You have such a handsome little face too – so serious. I don't know why you would hide a face like that."

She injected him with a serum. "I took your mask down because you're going to be nauseous when you wake up, and you could drown if you vomit with the mask on. I've used this before, and my targets woke up off and on. The room is soundproof, but I'll check on you occasionally. You'll be fine."

The shot kicked in, and Tomiko's outline began to blur. Yellow and red lights trailed after her movements, and Kakashi closed his eyes to fight the sudden nausea. _I really don't want to vomit in front of her, _he thought. This was bad enough without that sort of humiliation.

"It's ok, baby," Tomiko said, caressing his cheek. "Mother is here. Just sleep until I can make everything better."

_Fucking crazy bitch, _Kakashi thought. _I'm going to feed her own face to her. _

"Yes, mother," he said dutifully, just before he blacked out.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

A Bit of Redemption

Sakumo was thoroughly bored. He'd been ordered to clear weeds for an old widow who hadn't even bothered to tell him her name. She'd simply handed him a hoe and told him to "get after it".

It was mindless work, and he didn't like to have time to think. He wished the mission director would at least give him something that would take up more of his mental processes, but he suspected that the various people in charge of assigning missions got a sadistic delight in giving him the most menial of tasks. They certainly gave him the most humiliating whenever possible. Tasks that used to be saved for misbehaving Genins were reserved for him now. He'd cleaned the sewers, picked up dog shit in the public parks, and cleaning the outhouses near construction zones. He'd heard someone mention it, snickering at his misfortune.

_I might deserve it, but let's see how it affects their karma to kick a man when he's down._ He hit a clump of weeds harder than necessary, and a good sized bit of earth came up with it.

"Don't wreck my garden," screeched the old woman from her porch. She was watching him like a hawk, just waiting for the village fuck-up to ruin something.

He knelt and put the soil back in place, patting it into the ground. _She hasn't planted anything yet, so it shouldn't be a problem._

He continued his work, trying to ignore the people who stopped walking down the busy street of the ghetto to jeer at him.

"See son – obey your parents or you'll end up like that," he heard.

He kept his head down and worked harder. _There are days I wish I could just take Kakashi and leave, _he thought. But he knew he never would. His son needed to be here. What else was there for Kakashi? He could be a mercenary, but that was a soul-eating, empty life. Sakumo could hardly think that his son would "settle down" and be a farmer or something. It just didn't make sense. That only happened in romantic novels – and bad ones at that.

And he still loved his village. _They'll forgive me in time, once the war is over, _he thought. Konoha was that kind of place. Right now they thought of him every time a ninja didn't come home, but even that would pass.

A small crowd had gathered to watch him, but he ignored their jeers. He was beginning to feel bitter – at the village, at Tsume for needing his help, even at Kakashi for keeping him alive.

_I can't let those people out there make me bitter, _he thought. _It was my decision to accept this punishment. None of this is anyone else's fault._

He felt a small hand on his arm and looked down to see a tiny old woman. She looked a bit like the old woman on the porch.

"Come inside," she said quietly. "There's no need for this. You can finish later."

"Thank you Grandmother," he said, and he'd never felt so glad to enter someone's home.

"My name is Rie," she said. "Welcome to my home, Sakumo-kun."

"Your name suits you," he said. "You are a valued blessing. Thank you." _What the hell has happened to me? I feel like a beat dog allowed a bit of a reprieve. All I want right now is a hole to crawl into._

The old widow who had been his mission contact sat in the corner in a rocking chair so broken it was just a chair now.

"He doesn't deserve your kindness sister," she said.

Sakumo wondered if someone she cared for had died because of him, and he couldn't feel any anger at her. The bitterness he'd been feeling earlier shamed him now. _I have no right to be bitter, ever, _he thought.

Rie rubbed his hand, and he looked down at the wrinkled tiny thing, marked with liver spots and the calluses and scars of a hard life.

"We had a boy around here about 40 years ago whose father beat him mercilessly," Rie said. "I remember how he slunk around, with his dark eyes. You remind me of him. No one should ever have that look in his face."

Sakumo felt his eyes moisten. _Oh fucking do NOT cry now! _He thought. He'd never had that problem before, but lately it had been hard to keep the blank demeanor expected of ninjas.

The first old woman – the mean one – handed him a glass of water. Rie is right," she said. "I forget myself. I was raised better than to kick an injured animal."

"Thank you too, Grandmother," he said. The water was warm and brackish, but he drank it anyway, if for the sake of politeness if nothing else. There was a lot of silt in it.

He looked out the window, framed by yellowed lace curtains. "It looks like they're gone," he said. "I'll get back to work now."

"Come back inside if you need to," Rie said. "They should be ashamed of themselves."

He saw people wander by as he worked, and a few of them spoke to each other and pointed, but no one bothered him. He wondered if the old women were important in the area, but he doubted it. If people cared about them they wouldn't be living in such a run-down house with no one to even help them with their small garden. Their neighbors had probably been shamed by the old woman's simple act of kindness. He certainly felt the significance of it.

It didn't really take him long to do the work; it just seemed like forever. He went inside to talk with the women before he left. He looked around their hovel. At some time long ago it must have been a nice place. There were hardwood floors and high ceilings. A broken ceiling fan hung from the ceiling, and an old chandelier dominated the room. It was covered with dust and spider webs, but it must have been beautiful – probably about the time the old sisters were beautiful. They obviously tried to clean, but the cobwebs and dust around the place told him they just weren't up to it.

"I think you ladies could use some help around here," he said.

"Why?" the old widow asked. "It's not a part of your mission. It was all we could do to save up enough to have someone come weed the garden. We have to get it in or we don't have anything to can for the winter."

"I'd like to help, if you'd let me," Sakumo said.

"Why?" the widow asked again. "What's in it for you?"

_A lifetime of habits makes her suspicious of people who offer her anything, _Sakumo thought.

"Ume, don't speak like that!" Rie said.

"No, she's right to wonder," Sakumo said. "Nothing is given without reason. No strangers have been kind to me since my mission, and I'd like to repay you. It would feel good to do something worthwhile."

"I'm sorry," Ume said. "Forgive an old woman her fears."

"Of course, Grandmother," Sakumo said. "Forgive a young man his failures, if you can."

"Come back tomorrow if you want," Rie said. "I'll make us lunch."

He didn't want to take their food. "I don't cook much, and I have some food in the fridge that's about to go bad. I'll bring it over."

Ume sat in her chair. "Food? Of course we'll cook lunch then."

_I wonder how often they go hungry, _he wondered. He'd never thought much about the poor of the village. He defended them physically, but he didn't really know them.

He walked home feeling a bit better about life in general. There were still two people who needed him. He wasn't a burden to Rie and Ume. It meant something that he could still be useful to someone.

When he got home he settled onto the couch with Icha-Icha Paradise. He hadn't cared for the book the first time he'd read it, but now he liked the silly, escapist nature of it. It was simple and happy, in a sloppy romantic way, and he could lose himself in it.

He fell asleep, and the book lay open on his chest.

He woke to an incessant pounding on his door, and he jumped to the corner of the room, calling a clone as he did so. He was surprised to find Moreno Akihiro and Ibiki at his door. He'd been used to seeing Akihiro as a crippled, tired man, but the man he saw before him was a warrior, and Sakumo didn't think the knee would keep him from being a formidable man in a fight.

Ibiki looked different too. He looked Sakumo in the eye as an equal. _He seems larger somehow, _Sakumo thought.

Sakumo dismissed his clone. "I'm sorry," he said. "I've been a bit jumpy lately."

"You need to come with us," Akihiro said. "Kakashi's been taken."

Sakumo's knees felt weak. "Who would do that?" he asked.

"We think it was Uchiha Tomiko," Akihiro said. "She has the idea that she's going to make Kakashi part of the Uchiha clan, and she's insane enough to try it. He went missing last night, and he hasn't been seen since."

"He's been gone since last night?" Sakumo asked. "Why didn't you get me then?"

"Do we really need to answer that?" Ibiki asked.

"No," Sakumo said, reminded of his place. "I know why. Why did you come now?"

"Because it occurred to me that the pack might be able to find Kakashi. I went to the Hokage as soon as I realized what happened, and he doesn't want this leaked to the village. The ANBU are looking for Kakashi, but other than that only my family knows. Jiraiya-sama is out of town, so we can't contact him."

_My son needed me, and I didn't even know, _Sakumo thought.

He called the pack, but only Alphaus answered. Sakumo explained the situation to him. "You can find Kakashi without letting yourself be seen," he said. "We need to avoid the Uchihas knowing what we're doing."

"I don't know if we can take orders from you," Alphaus said. "You made arrangements for Kakashi when he was younger, but he never said what we should do after he became pack leader."

"I forgot," Sakumo said. "This is for Kakashi. We can set up a new contract later if you want. I know Kakashi won't mind me calling you."

"I can't decide this," Alphaus said. "I have to speak to the Dog King."

"Wait!" Sakumo said, but the summon dismissed itself, something it wouldn't have done if Sakumo was still its master.

"How long until he comes back?" Akihiro asked.

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "I'm not the pack leader anymore; Kakashi is. They obey him. They'll help me if they can, but I don't know if the Dog King will let them. The contracts are very important, and with what's been going on lately Kakashi and I haven't set up a new one with them, if they'll even accept it now."

"I guess we'll go back to looking by ourselves then," Akihiro said.

"Where have you looked so far?" Kakashi asked.

"Between us and the ANBU we've searched everywhere we can get to without making a huge political disturbance. We think he's either being held in ROOT headquarters or the Uchiha compound."

"How do you know about ROOT?" Sakumo asked.

"I've been cleared for some sensitive information because of this situation," Ibiki said. "I think it's more likely that Tomiko would take him to her home."

"There's no way we can get into the Uchiha compound," Sakumo said. "They might as well have that thing guarded by Samurais. It would probably be easier to ransack the Hokage tower than to sneak in there."

"I've been thinking about that," Ibiki said, "and I might know a way. I would have preferred to use the pack, but you'd make one hell of a distraction right now if you just went up to the gates and demanded to be let in. The Uchiha clan is still divided on your punishment, and I think seeing you at their doorstep would bring a lot of them to the gates."

He saw the look Akihiro gave his son – shock and a bit of awe. _What has Ibiki become that I feel like I could follow him into battle now? _Sakumo wondered.

"Why didn't you speak to me about this?" Akihiro asked.

"It was only a secondary plan," Ibiki said. "It will probably work, but it's riskier, and it puts all of this out in the open. We were trying to avoid that."

"It isn't necessary to do that," Sakumo said. "There is another way. If I were to appear at their gates and tell them that I'm going around the village asking for forgiveness they would be intrigued. I doubt any of them could resist watching me begging them for forgiveness at their own gates."

"You're setting yourself up for a lot of trouble," Akihiro said.

"No more than usual lately," Sakumo said. "I deserve whatever they say to me anyway."

"We can't let this become a brawl," Akihiro said. "We wouldn't stand a chance."

"If it comes to that I'll sacrifice myself," Sakumo said. "I don't want anyone to die for my sake."

"All of this is a moot point until your summon returns," Ibiki said. "It's a better plan to let them lead us. We've been looking for Kakashi since last night, and we could use food and rest before we go back out."

"Of course," Sakumo said. "Come in. I'll fix you something. You're welcome to my bed and Kakashi's."

He made them sandwiches and did his best to be a gracious host. At any other time this would have been awkward, but he was more concerned about his son than the presence of people who considered him a traitor, and one who had obvious new scars because of his failures.

There was nothing to do but wait for Alphaus, and after Ibiki and Akihiro had lain down to rest he was alone in the house, twisting a napkin in his hands and trying not to imagine all the things a mad woman might be doing to his son.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Kakashi shifted to get a bit more comfortable and tried to think of an escape plan. His options were extremely limited. Whenever he opened his eyes the colors swam in front of them, and he had to shut them again to hold back the nausea that threatened to take him.

_Running is out of the question, _he thought. _Fighting is too. Even if I could get loose I used too much chakra trying to break the genjutsu. _

He struggled against his bonds, but he didn't have the strength to do anything at the moment. When he had tired himself out he lay and thought desperately of anything he could do.

He heard a key click in a lock, and he prepared himself. He was nauseous and hungry at the same time. He didn't know if he could hold anything down, but he hoped Tomiko had brought some food.

Kakashi opened his eyes briefly, just enough to see that the swirling mass of color in front of him was an adult woman. He couldn't make out any details other than that.

"Poor baby," Tomiko said, and he felt her stroke his face.

_I wish she'd quit that, _Kakashi thought. He knew she meant it to be a comforting gesture, but he didn't like to be touched at the best of times, much less by a crazy woman when he felt like vomiting.

"I have to give you another shot," she said. "There are people looking for you, and I could see your chakra signature through the wall with my Sharingan."

He felt the needle enter his skin.

"It shouldn't make you any more ill than you probably already are," she said. "In a few days I should be able to move you to my home."

"Where are we?" Kakashi asked. He didn't really hope that she would tell him, but she might have degenerated enough mentally to let it slip.

She chuckled. "I can't tell you yet. Just be patient."

He heard the soft sound of a kunai leaving its holder, and he opened his eyes. Tomiko had a knife, and he flinched away from her as she moved it toward his face.

She caught his face and held it still. "Don't move," she said. She cut his mask away from his shirt. "I don't want to take a chance of it slipping up and covering your face if you get sick."

"Th-thank you Mother," he stammered, waiting for his heart to quit beating so heavily. _I thought she was going to kill me._

"You're so jumpy," Tomiko said. "Did your father hit you often? I've seen children who have been beaten. It breaks a mother's heart."

_Maybe if I act like a little kid she'll get close enough I can bite out her jugular vein, _Kakashi thought. She'd left the door open behind her, and eventually the drug would wear off and he could try to escape.

"He only hit me hard when I deserved it," Kakashi said, letting his voice tremble. _Forgive me Father, _he thought. _I don't have many options right now._

She crooned over him, and even if he hadn't been physically ill she might have made him nauseous. He remembered the way Mother Moreno fussed over him, and he couldn't help contrast her strong, loving care with Tomiko's insane, needy clutching.

Instead of pulling him close to her where he could get to her vital vein she lifted his head and put it on her lap.

"It's ok, baby. Mother is here," Tomiko said. She ran her hand across his face and spoke quietly about the life she was going to give him.

He let her rant, listening for any information. She gave him nothing he could work with, just promises and assurances about his future.

_I can make my own damn future, you old bitch! _Kakashi thought.

His stomach growled. "I brought some food," Tomiko said.

"I don't know if I can hold it down," Kakashi said.

"It's just some broth," Tomiko said. She shifted him so that he rested against her, and his stomach churned. He was still too far to reach her neck. His hands were still tied, and she lifted a thermos to his lips.

He drank a bit, and she pulled it away. He almost immediately felt the bile rise in his throat, and when he gagged Tomiko lay him on his side and rubbed circles on his back with the palm of her hand.

"Try to keep it down," she said. "You need the sustenance."

He managed to avoid the humiliation of vomiting in front of her, and she left him alone after promising to return as soon as she could.

Despite what she told him the new shot affected him more than the first one, and he lay as still as possible. He quit thinking about escape. It was all his could do not to spill his guts all over the room, and even with his eyes closed he saw red streaks of light.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo could barely wait for the Dog King's answer. He'd had enough trouble just getting the contract for the clan. The Dog King had made him prove himself, and it had taken years to get his respect. Eventually Alpheus returned, but Sakumo could tell by his tucked in tail and drooping ears what the answer would be.

"He said no, didn't he?" Sakumo asked.

"The contracts are too important. He said that if we do this then it degrades the relationship between summons and ninjas. The pack can only take orders from Kakashi."

"I understand," Sakumo said. "You did the best you could. You can return if you need to."

"I can't return," Alpheus said. "I told him I was helping you anyway."

"Noni?" Sakumo asked. "You told the Dog King no?"

"I'm no longer a part of the pack," Alpheus said. He nuzzled Sakumo's hand. "You are my master again."

Sakumo scratched Alpheus' ear. "I'm so sorry I had to drag you into this."

Alpheus whined and licked his hand. "I will share your shame with you, Master."

"If it was just for me I wouldn't let you do this," Sakumo said. "But Kakashi needs us."

"Let's go find him then," Alpheus said.

XXXXXXXX

Obito had followed his Aunt Tomiko to an abandoned warehouse on the edge of town. He was small and quiet, and she was strong, but she was arrogant. He was certain she had no idea he was anywhere near. She didn't stay long, and Obito waited until she left to make his move.

_I knew Kakashi wouldn't have been late to an appointment unless there was something really wrong, _he thought. _He never misses training unless he was on a mission._ _I knew Aunt Tomiko was insane, but I can't believe she actually kidnapped him._

The warehouse barely looked as if it could stand. It certainly wasn't the sort of place he would have chosen to stash a captive, but no one would have suspected such a strong ninja of using such an awkward place.

_I'm surprised she didn't use her own house, _he thought. He decided to move as soon as she was gone. He didn't know if Kakashi was injured, and he wasn't about to let his teammate wait any longer than necessary.

He crawled through the same hole in the wall he had seen his aunt use, being careful to check for traps. She hadn't left any.

_She's really sure no one will follow her, _he thought. But it made sense in a way. This was just not the kind of place an Uchiha would use.

_It's the plan of a madwoman, _Obito thought.

The warehouse was dark, but he didn't try to use his flashlight. He stopped to let his eyes adjust to the dim light from the half-moon shining through a large hole in the roof. The place was a wreck, with the remains of old water-rotted boxes lining one wall. Abandoned machinery made dark shadows that kept him from seeing much.

He saw her tracks, almost obscured in the dust, but not quite. Slowly he followed them to a back room labeled "storage". The door was locked, but he quickly broke it with a solid kick. He saw Kakashi lying with his eyes closed.

_She took his mask, _he thought. _I'll bet he's pissed._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Kakashi heard the door slam open and let his eyes open just enough to see what was happening. Someone small had entered the room, and he didn't see the outline of breasts. He kept his breathing shallow and closed his eyes, hoping that the intruder would think he was unconscious.

_It can't be Akihiro or Ibiki, _he thought. _He's too small. It must be Toshiko's son. I bet he's here to kill me instead of accept me like she thought he would._

"Kakashi?" he heard. "Can you hear me?"

He opened his eyes, fighting the nausea so he could see. "Obito? How did you find me?"

"When you didn't show up for practice I knew something was really wrong, and I remembered my crazy Aunt. I thought she might have taken you somewhere, so I followed her here. I'm going to get you out of here."

He untied Kakashi and lifted him so that he rested against the wall.

"Don't move me," Kakashi said as he felt his stomach churn. He closed his eyes, but it didn't stop the nausea.

"Are you injured?" Obito asked.

"Ugh."

"I can't help you if I don't know where you're injured," Obito said.

Kakashi vomited forcefully, sending broth and bile into Obito's face. He opened his eyes to see Obito wiping dripping vomit off his face.

"You did that on purpose!" Obito said.

"I did not," Kakashi said. "I'm really sick."

"Well, climb onto my back and try not to do that again," Obito said.

"I think I got most of it out," Kakashi said, but as Obito pulled him onto his back he gagged.

"I swear to god, if you barf on me again I'll kick your ass when you're well," Obito said.

Kakashi put his face against Obito's shoulder, trying to block out the lights playing under his eyelids. He groaned.

"It's ok, buddy. I'll get you home," Obito said in a kinder tone.

Kakashi felt himself flying suddenly, and he hit the wall hard. When he could see again he realized that Tomiko was standing over a prone figure in the corner. _She killed Obito! _He thought. He could see what looked like blood flowing from Obito's head, but in his drugged state it seemed as if yellow fluid was running from his wound.

"Is he dead?" Kakashi asked. _Please don't be dead you little idiot, _he thought.

She knelt over Obito, and Kakashi closed his eyes and tried to move toward her. _If I can just get to the kunai on her belt I might be able to at least wound her, _he thought.

"He's alive," she said. "I think he might have a concussion, but that's it. If I'd known he was an Uchiha I would have tried to reason with him. As it is I'll have to tie him up too. I'll give him credit for his loyalty to you, but he is an absolute idiot if he really thought I didn't know he was following me."

Kakashi sat up, vomiting again and not caring. He crawled to Obito and checked his pulse himself.

Tomiko pushed Kakashi back onto the floor. "I'm going to get some medical supplies and see to him. I won't kill an Uchiha unless I have to. Lay still."

She tied his and Obito's hands and left them again. "Obito?" he asked. He was close enough to Obito that he could put his hand on his neck and keep his fingers on his pulse. He wanted to know if Obito died. It seemed wrong for his teammate to go without anyone even knowing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After waking Ibiki and Akihiro, Sakumo told them that he could only call Alpheus.

"We should start at home and see where Kakashi was taken," Ibiki said, taking the lead again. It seemed natural to the other men for some reason. There was just something about Ibiki that commanded respect now.

Sakumo assumed a henge of a non-descript, middle aged man with brown hair. He hadn't done that so far because he felt that it was dishonorable. If he truly accepted his place he needed to be himself in the village. It seemed wrong to escape so easily from the consequences of his actions.

But this was different. "I don't want to draw attention. Too many people might comment on me being out if I'm seen."

They walked silently to the Moreno's home, and when Mother opened the door Sakumo could see she'd been crying.

"It's ok Mother," Akihiro said. "This man is from the Inuzukas, and he and his nin-dog are going to help us find Kakashi."

She nodded. "Bring him home safely," she said. "Please don't let them keep him."

"I'll do my best," Sakumo said. "Everyone wants him safe."

They went to Ibiki and Kakashi's room. _So this is where my son has been living, _Sakumo thought. The room was small and poor, but it looked homey enough. It was clean, and the boys' books sat on their desk. He smiled to see a couple of his son's toys on the bottom bunk. _It looks like he's found a home, _he thought.

"His smell is all over," Alpheus said. "Do you have any idea how he was taken?"

"I came in and found Ibiki on the floor unconscious," Akihiro said. "I didn't see anything obvious, but I would think she came through the window."

Alpheus sniffed at the windowsill. "I smell him, but it's faint. You should have come for us immediately."

"We didn't think of it," Akihiro said.

"Hmmph," Alpheus said. "Open the window."

Sakumo pulled open the window, noticing that it stuck slightly. Alpheus put his paws up on the windowsill and smelled deeply. "I don't smell him, but there's a woman's smell. It isn't Mother Moreno either. I think the woman went onto the roof."

Sakumo lifted him out onto the roof, and Alpheus moved around carefully, checking to see what route she'd taken. "This way," he said, pointing north.

"That's not in the direction of ROOT headquarters or the Uchiha compound," Akihiro said.

"We must have been wrong," Ibiki said. "They were the most logical places for Tomiko to take him, but she must have had other ideas."

"She's a maverick even in her clan," Akihiro said. "There's no telling what she might have done."

Sakumo lifted Alpheus onto his shoulders and leaped to the next roof, landing silently on someone else's house just a few feet away, and Ibiki followed.

"I'll do what I can on the ground," Akihiro said. "I can't follow you boys over rooftops anymore."

Sakumo put Alpheus on the roof, cursing the slowness of the process. Anything could be happening to his son, and he was stuck with this plodding progress.

They moved roof to roof. "Can't you go any faster?" Sakumo asked. "It's never taken so long before."

"We had Natsumi before," Alpheus said. "I'm not a bloodhound like her. She could probably tell you what this Tomiko has for breakfast. Her nose is amazing," he said, and his ears fell flat and he whined a bit.

_He probably already misses her so much, _Sakumo thought. Natsumi was his bitch, and he loved her as much as a mortal man could love a woman. Sakumo patted his head. "We'll make do," he said. "You're doing a good job."

"Thank you Master," Alpheus said, but his tail stayed tucked between his legs, and his ears had lost their usual perkiness.

_I owe him so much, _Sakumo thought.

He moved to the next roof, carrying Alpheus again, but when he put him down the nin-dog couldn't find any trace of Tomiko. "She hasn't been here," he said. "I might not be a bloodhound, but I can track at least that well. She must have taken to the ground."

"I was hoping she'd stick to the rooftops longer," Ibiki said.

"Me too," Alpheus said. "I don't know if I can follow an old trail down there."

"Just do the best you can," Sakumo said. "You've already gone above and beyond the call of duty."

He took the dog in his arms and leapt to the ground. Alpheus smelled around the area, but he shook his head. "There are too many smells here, and the trail is covered up now."

Ibiki pointed north. "We know which direction she took him. We'll just have to do this the hard way and take Alpheus north and see what we can find."

"I just hope we're not too late," Sakumo said.

"Let's go," Ibiki said. He moved forward, obviously assuming that Sakumo and Alpheus would follow him.

"Ibiki, what has happened to you?" Sakumo said. "You carry yourself like a Jounin now."

"Do you really want to know?" Ibiki asked.

"You're practically Kakashi's brother," Sakumo said. "Of course I want to know."

Ibiki stopped and looked him squarely in the eyes. Sakumo had to turn his eyes away. The look was too intense, and it raised feelings of shame as he looked at those scars that he had caused."

"We should talk later," Ibiki said. "I think we have a lot to talk about."

There was no condemnation in Ibiki's voice, only a statement of fact. Sakumo thought this would be one of the most uncomfortable but necessary talks he'd had since the "incident".

XXXXXXXX

Kakashi heard Obito stir a bit. "What are you doing?" Obito asked.

Kakashi woke from a troubled sleep. He hadn't meant to fall asleep while Obito was injured, but he was too exhausted to keep himself awake.

"I was keeping my fingers on your pulse," Kakashi said. "How are you?"

"She hit me in the head, but other than a headache I don't think it's too bad, probably just a scalp cut. You know how much they bleed."

"Well, we're both fucked now," Kakashi said.

"Sorry," Obito said. "I guess I bungled it."

"A for effort – F for results, baka," Kakashi said, but he was so glad Obito was alive that he didn't feel angry with him. "No one else figured out how to find me. You're ahead of the others, anyway."

"My parents wouldn't get involved before," Obito said. "Tomiko never said anything about taking you by force, just about adopting you. Maybe since I'm missing the clan will get involved. We're police. They should be able to find us."

"I hope so," Kakashi said. "I feel like shit, and your aunt is creepy."

"You have no idea," Obito said.

"I think I do," Kakashi said.

"I see why you kept the mask on now," Obito said. "You look silly without it."

"I liked you better when you were unconscious," Kakashi said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo and Ibiki searched well into the night, and Sakumo noticed how mature the boy had become since he'd last seen him. _Is this really the same person? _He wondered.

They moved from building to building, and the two ninjas stayed in the shadows while Alpheus pretended to be a normal, roaming dog. He sniffed at things, snarled at other dogs, and urinated on random objects.

"I still can't find anything," Alpheus said after a couple hours. "I got just a whiff of her once, so I think she might still be heading this direction."

"Keep at it," Sakumo said. "The ANBU are out there too. We'll find him."

Dawn came and went, but Sakumo and Ibiki kept searching. Sakumo didn't need Ibiki to tell him that he wouldn't stop. This person was as far from the Ibiki he'd known as the Hokage was from a Genin. _I really do need to talk to him, _Sakumo said. _This is disturbing, and I should help him if he needs it. Children do not act like this. Even advanced little ninjas like Kakashi still act like children. _


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Eventually Alpheus located Tomiko's scent in the warehouse district. "I found her!" he said, wagging his tail.

"Shh," Sakumo said. "It doesn't do us much good to hide if you're yelling."

"I found Tomiko's scent," Alpheus said quietly, his tail wagging furiously. He set off running, stopping occasionally when he lost her scent momentarily.

"She's been here recently," Alpheus said. "I think she's was here less than an hour ago."

He led them to a warehouse. "Here!" he said. "In here!"

Sakumo and Ibiki followed Alpheus through the hole, after placing clones outside the building for security. "Take me to him," Sakumo said.

Alpheus took him to a door that had been obviously kicked in, and he saw his son lying near his teammate Obito. Obito was bleeding from the head, and Kakashi was covered in vomit.

When he opened the door further it scraped across the floor, and Kakashi covered Obito protectively with his body.

"Who are you?" Kakashi asked. Obito didn't move.

Sakumo dropped the henge.

"I asked who you are," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi, it's me," Sakumo said.

"Dad?" Kakashi asked. "I can't see very well."

"Alpheus, get over here and stand guard," Sakumo said. The nin-dog stood near his master as Sakumo bent over Kakashi.

"Did she hurt your eyes?" Sakumo asked.

"No, she just gave me a drug to lower my chakra signature and it must be hallucinogenic. See to Obito first. He's injured; I'm just sick."

Sakumo pushed Obito's blood-soaked hair away from his head. "He needs a doctor."

"Tomiko said she was going to get medical supplies and come back," Kakashi said.

"I'm going to get you kids to the hospital," Sakumo said. "We'll let the Uchiha clan deal with Tomiko. I have a feeling that they won't go easy on an Uchiha that would hit an Uchiha child in the head and leave him lying wounded in a warehouse."

Ibiki was outside the storage room door, waiting quietly. He knelt and let Sakumo put Obito on his back. Sakumo lifted Kakashi in his arms, his small form dwarfed by his father.

"Let's go," Sakumo said. "I don't want to be here when she returns. She's probably the kind of woman who wouldn't stop at hurting kids in a fight."

They dismissed the clones when they left the building. Sakumo assumed the henge again, and they took the children to the hospital. Kakashi vomited on Sakumo several times, but he didn't care. He held his son close and hoped Tomiko hadn't done any lasting damage.

Sakumo stopped near the hospital and dropped the henge. "When the Uchihas investigate I'd rather have it be a simple case. It's going to be questionable if some random stranger brings Kakashi in. I'd rather not have them searching for my henge when they could be trying to prosecute Tomiko."

He turned Kakashi over at the ER. They let Sakumo come in and watch while they treated Kakashi.

He had been sleeping, and the first thing he did when he woke was ask, "is Obito ok?"

"He has a light head wound," a nurse said. "Try to relax, if you can."

"I'm doctor Haruno," an older woman with pink hair said. "Can you open your eyes for me like a good little man?"

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm not a kid," Kakashi said, and Sakumo smiled.

"Of course not," Dr. Haruno said, winking at Sakumo.

"I wouldn't do that," Sakumo said to her.

Dr. Haruno rolled her eyes. "I need to see those pretty eyes to check for damage."

Sakumo saw Kakashi smirk just before he opened his eyes. He vomited all over the doctor.

She kept her composure. "Ok, so we'll give you something for the nausea," she said, in a more adult voice. A nurse gave him a shot and turned to Sakumo. "I'll be back later," Dr. Haruno said. "We need to take some blood and see what kind of poison was used on him. The fact that he's survived this long usually means it's non-lethal."

When Sakumo was alone with Kakashi he moved to the bed and whispered, "you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"I've about had my fill of people treating me like a kid," Kakashi said.

"I think Ibiki might be rubbing off on you," Sakumo said.

Kakashi gulped. "Bucket," he said hoarsely.

Sakumo got a trash can, and he kept a hand on Kakashi's shoulder while he vomited. He wiped his son's face.

"I've about had it with that, too," Kakashi said. "As soon as I get out of here I'm going to work more on my genjutsu defenses. I'm going to find that Tomiko and ruin her life."

"Hopefully she'll be arrested soon," Sakumo said. "She made a mistake messing with another Uchiha. The clan won't forgive her for this."

"They don't forgive anyone for much," Kakashi said, "except for Obito."

"Yeah, you struck gold with that one," Sakumo said.

"I don't know about that," Kakashi said. "Maybe when he gets older, but he's still not much of a ninja."

"You know, Tomiko caught you too," Sakumo said. "Maybe you shouldn't be so hard on Obito. He did well for a ninja his age."

Kakashi grumbled. "I guess I should thank him later. He's not always so bad to have around."

Sakumo laughed. "I've missed having you around. I'm glad you have friends to be with."

"I've missed you too Dad," Kakashi said. "People have seen us together now. The Morenos need me over there, but can't I come visit you?"

"Just come over in a henge," Sakumo said. "Try not to use someone so prominent next time."

"Yeah," Kakashi mumbled. "That was a mistake."

"You sound tired. Why don't you sleep for awhile while they do the tests? I'll be here when you wake up."

"'K," Kakashi said. "Keep an eye on Obito for me. He gets himself in trouble when I'm not around."

"I'll do that," Sakumo said. He sat in the chair in the corner of the room, and he settled in for a long wait.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

They moved Kakashi to a private room, and Sakumo sat nearby, waiting to hear anything useful.

Kakashi's nausea wore off, and Sakumo just watched him sleep. _He looks so peaceful when he's asleep, _he thought. He remembered all the times he'd just sat there when Kakashi was a baby, wondering how he'd been so lucky.

He waited until Kakashi woke up to leave. He had things he had to do, but he wanted his son to know he was there.

"They got the test results back," Sakumo said. "You'll be fine. You can go home tomorrow, but the doctor wants you to stay overnight for observation so they can make sure there aren't any side effects."

"I could go home now," Kakashi said.

"You could," Sakumo said, "but the doctors know best. Stay here, and try not to give the nurses too much trouble."

"If I have to," Kakashi said. "I hate this place already."

"I need to go," Sakumo said. "I have a mission I'm already late for. The sewers don't just clean themselves, you know."

"You're not going after Uchiha Tomiko, are you?" Kakashi asked.

"I made my report already," Sakumo lied. "I know the Uchiha clan will do the right thing. They're a just people."

He hugged Kakashi and left, hoping Kakashi would forgive him this rare lie. He left the hospital thinking about how to go about finding Tomiko.

Ibiki was waiting for him in front of the hospital, leaning against a tree and looking bored.

"I thought you'd be in there all day," he said. "Come on. We have work to do."

"I'm going home," Sakumo said. "I have a mission later."

Ibiki smirked. "No you're not. You're going after Tomiko. I know how close you and Kakashi are, and there's no way you're going to leave this up to strangers."

"It's not your concern," Sakumo said.

"No one takes my brother and gets away with it," Ibiki said, and again Sakumo saw that disturbing contrast between Ibiki's small physique and the aura of confidence he carried now.

Ibiki held up a small black bag and shook it. Sakumo heard metal clank together in the bag. "I stopped by the house and got a few tools and a blow-torch. I want to try out a few things I've been reading about."

His smile made Sakumo's skin crawl. "You can't be serious," he said.

"I'm about to do the same thing that you probably were. I'm going back to that warehouse and track her down. I'll bet you didn't tell anyone about where we found Kakashi and Obito, did you?"

"Did you?" Sakumo asked.

"No," Ibiki said. "This is family business. The Uchihas might bring her to justice, but they might just cover for her; you never really know."

"You're ten years old," Sakumo said. "I'm glad Kakashi means that much to you, but this is definitely one time you need to let adults handle a situation."

"I'm going," Ibiki said. "You can either come with me or I can go visit the Uchiha compound myself. I'm sure they'd love to hear your revenge plans against Tomiko."

"If you're so sure of yourself why do you want me along?" Sakumo asked.

"I don't know how to dispose of a body. I recognize my own limitations, and I want the benefit of your experience."

"I'm not letting you torture her," Sakumo said.

"We'll talk about that later," Ibiki said. "I have a few other things I want to talk with you about anyway."

Sakumo reluctantly admitted to himself that he was stuck with Ibiki. "Let's go then, but no torture. If we're going to get away with this it needs to be a quick kill, and then I'll take care of the disposal."

They went back to the warehouse, and Sakumo called Alpheus and explained the situation to him.

"We're going after her ourselves then?" Alpheus asked.

"Yes. Do you remember last year when I had to get rid of that "evidence" up in the Rain nation? It's a similar situation. Kakashi can't know about this. Do you think you can handle it alone?"

Alpheus' tail beat a steady rhythm against the floor. "It will be my honor to help you bring vengeance to the one who hurt Kakashi like that."

He sniffed around the warehouse. "She hasn't been here," he said.

"Are you sure?" Ibiki asked.

"There hasn't been anyone else around here," Alpheus said. "We could check the roof to see if she went in through there, but I doubt that roof could hold someone up."

"So she would have let Kakashi and Obito stay here like that?" Ibiki asked. "They could have both died."

Ibiki and Alpheus both turned to Sakumo as they heard a low growl building in his throat. He crawled into the hole and made his way to the back room, followed by Ibiki and Alpheus. He assumed a henge of Kakashi, exactly as he'd seen him in the room and lay down where Kakashi had been.

"Ibiki, assume a henge of Obito and act like you're unconscious. Alpheus, go a block east and stay behind that burger joint until I come for you. She won't be expecting an injured boy and a poisoned one to beat her."

Sakumo and Ibiki lay for hours, and he grew angrier with each passing moment. He couldn't believe that Tomiko had gone to such lengths to get Kakashi, only let him lie this long here. Anything could have happened, and Obito could have definitely died.

He finally heard her open the door. "I'm sorry I took so long," she said. "The ANBU almost caught me, and I've been running from them all day."

Sakumo remembered that Kakashi was supposed to be nauseous when he opened his eyes. He quickly opened his eyes and gagged as if he was ill. What he had seen backed up her story. She had a long cut down her arm, and she was dirty and bloodied.

"I barely got away, but I know I gave them the slip," she said. "They won't think to look here. I made it look like I headed home. It's going to be at least a few more days before I can release you two, and there will have to be a change of plans. I'm sure that I can convince the clan to fight the ANBU with me, but it's going to take some time."

Sakumo struck, throwing her against the wall just as Ibiki hit her around the midsection. He slashed through her face, making sure he cut both eyes so she couldn't use her Sharingan.

Ibiki covered her mouth when she screamed.

"Kakashi?" she asked when Ibiki removed his hand. "But I did this all for you."

Sakumo dropped the henge and snarled at her, his face mere inches from hers. "That's my son you took, bitch. You're lucky I'm an honorable man. I'm just going to kill you."

Tomiko tried to escape, but Sakumo and Ibiki were too much for her.

Ibiki pulled a kunai. "Let me hurt her," he said.

"No," Sakumo said. "We can't torture her. There are some lines you just can't cross. I've tortured someone before when a mission demanded it, but once you go down that road you don't come back."

"I guess it's enough that she'll die," Ibiki said. "Can I at least be the one who kills her?"

"Leave the room," Sakumo said. "I'm not letting you do this, and I'm not doing it while you're here."

Ibiki gave in and left. "You're getting off easy," Sakumo said to Tomiko, and he slit her throat making sure to cut as deeply as possible.

When he was sure she was dead he went to get Ibiki. "I'm going to get Alpheus," he said. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

He changed into the middle-aged henge again and went to find Alpheus. When they came back he found Ibiki standing over Tomiko's corpse.

Ibiki turned toward him, and Sakumo might as well have been seeing a different person. "I can't believe we really did this," he said.

Sakumo saw a child in front of him – a scared, confused child.

"Come out of here," Sakumo said. "We need to talk."

"Not now," Ibiki said. "We should take care of this first."

"Yes, now," Sakumo said. "This can wait a bit."

They went out to the outer part of the warehouse. "Sit down," Sakumo said.

Ibiki sat obediently.

"I've heard of this," Sakumo said. "You're not quite the same person you were earlier, are you?"

"No," Ibiki said. "I made that other person because I can't fight as well like this."

Sakumo sighed. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's my fault, and I'll do whatever I can to help you. The first thing I'm going to do is spare you any more involvement in this. I want you to go home while I handle things."

"But…" Ibiki began.

"No buts," Sakumo said. "While that other one is here I'll respect him as an adult ninja. I understand that he's my equal. You are a child, and you will obey your elders, ok?"

"Yes sir," Ibiki said. "I'm kind of glad that's all over. It was like I could see what was happening, but I couldn't really control it."

"This is serious," Sakumo said. "I want to talk more about this later, but right now I think you've had enough."

Ibiki nodded. He took off his headband and wiped his sweating forehead. He put it back on, but not before Sakumo saw the scars on his head.

He waited until after Ibiki left to begin the gruesome work of disposing of Tomiko's body.

"Just like last time," he said to Alpheus. He pulled his tanto and cut off one of Tomiko's arms with his sharp weapon. He tossed the arm to Alpheus, who began to eat.

"This will take longer than before with just me eating," Alpheus said. "I'm pretty hungry though."

Sakumo rolled his eyes and cast a jutsu on Alpheus. Suddenly five versions of Alpheus were feeding on Tomiko. "Wait," Sakumo said. He cast a jutsu on the dog and henges, giving them jaws of steel.

With the steel jaws, the dogs made quick work of her, and he burned the building. If the police were specifically looking for the exact type of arson he'd done they might catch him, but otherwise no one would wonder why a fire trap like this went up. Nothing was left of Tomiko but some blood on the floor, and the fire would take care of that. He'd have to burn his own clothes when he got home, and he'd spend time cleaning his weapons.

He moved away from the burning building quickly, getting away long before the flames engulfed the place. He went home and destroyed the clothes. He didn't feel any remorse for what he'd done to Tomiko, but he wished Ibiki hadn't been involved.

_What should I do about him? _He wondered. He went to Akihiro's house, hoping the old man wouldn't throw him out on his ass. He had caused the problems Ibiki was having, after all.

No one was there. _Of course, _he thought. _They're probably at the hospital with Kakashi._

He found them in Kakashi's room, just sitting with him. Ibiki looked avoided his gaze.

"I think the kid's doing better," Akihiro said. "If you want to take over we'll head home. I think we've all had a rough day."

Sakumo stopped Ibiki before they left. "Come see me when you're ready," he said. "I owe you all the help I can give you."

"Thank you, Sakumo-san," Ibiki said.

After they left, Sakumo asked Kakashi, "how much do you know about what has happened with Ibiki after he got back?"

"That's private," Kakashi said. "I can't betray his trust."

"He's not the same person, is he?" Sakumo asked.

"Dad, I really can't," Kakashi said. "It would be wrong."

"I understand," Sakumo said. "I respect your loyalty to him. I just wanted you to know that Ibiki and I are going to be talking. I'm going to try to help him."

"Do you think he'll let you?" Kakashi asked. "I mean, he was bitter toward you before."

"We shared a few moments earlier," Sakumo said. "I guess you could say we bonded."

"I'm glad," Kakashi said. "I really want him to be ok."

"So do I son. He deserves all the help he can get. I respect him for what he's done, and for what he's becoming."

It was getting late, and he had one last thing to handle. He'd made a promise to two old ladies, and he never broke a promise.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ume pulled the curtains closed. "He's not coming," she said. "I knew we shouldn't depend on him."

"That's not fair," her sister said. "No one else will give him a chance. We should at least let him redeem himself."

"That's not what I meant," Ume said. "Even Sakumo-kun is too far above us to help us. We've made it on our own this long, and we'll do just fine."

Her sister took Ume's hand. "I know," she said. "It's ok that we just have each other."

She answered a tentative knock and found Sakumo. "I'm sorry I'm so late," he said. He held up a toolbox. "I thought we could start with the roof, but it's a little late for that. What do you need me to work on?"

Ume hugged him and sniffled. "I knew you wouldn't forget us!" she said.

"Ume, you're a real baka," Rie said. She put a plate of cookies on the table. "Have some cookies first, Sakumo-kun."

Sakumo sat with them and ate the hard cookies, trying to pretend he liked them. It had turned out to be a difficult day, but at least he'd taken care of Tomiko. His boy was safe, and that was all that mattered.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

It didn't take long for the antidote to kick in, and Kakashi snuck out of his room. No one seemed to take notice, so he wandered around looking for Obito's room.

"Can I help you find something?" an intern asked.

"I'm looking for Uchiha Obito," Kakashi said.

"We let his parents take him home earlier," the intern said.

"But he had a head injury!"

"You'll have to ask his parents for more information," the intern said.

Kakashi wasn't too surprised. The Uchihas wouldn't want one of their own in a hospital while Tomiko was out.

_He's probably safer at home anyway,_ Kakashi thought. He started to go back to his room, but he decided he was tired of the hospital, and no one really seemed to notice what he was doing anyway.

He left without being stopped, and he headed toward the Uchiha compound. The guards were serious as always. They suspected everyone.

"Why do you want to come in?" one of them asked. He pulled out a clipboard.

"I want to visit Uchiha Obito," Kakashi said.

The guard gave him a blank look. "And you are?"

Kakashi was used to being recognized more often. _He's probably just being a dick because of my dad, _he thought.

"Hatake Kakashi. Obito's my teammate,"

"Come in," the other guard said.

Kakashi heard the nicer guard whisper, "don't be a jerk. It's not his fault who his father is."

Kakashi ignored them. He couldn't deal with the whole Uchiha clan. He'd just have to wait until he could redeem his family's honor, and then they'd accept him. They'd have to. Even the Uchiha clan couldn't turn their noses up at the strongest ninja in the village.

It seemed like the whole clan was watching him as he walked to Obito's house. _It's just my imagination, _he thought.

Obito's mother had been nice to him the few times he'd been at their house, and she was still welcoming.

"I'm glad you came over," she said. "Obito was worried about you."

Obito was sharpening a kunai. He had a bandage on his head.

"How's it going Sir-Pukes-A-Lot?" Obito asked.

"Says the guy who didn't even think to post a clone as a look-out," Kakashi said.

"Yeah, yeah," Obito muttered. "I'll remember that next time."  
"I just thought I'd come see how you were doing," Kakashi said. "The last time I saw you, you were bleeding and crying like a little baby."

"I was not crying!" Obito said.

Kakashi snickered. "It's so easy to get you going," he said.

"Baka," Obito growled. "That wasn't funny."

Kakashi sat on Obito's bed. "Did the police talk to you yet? I thought it was kind of weird that no one has even asked me what happened."

"I was going to talk to you about that," Obito said. "You haven't said anything about this to anyone, have you?"

"No," Kakashi said. "Why?"

"Dad said Aunt Tomiko won't be a problem anymore. I asked what he meant, but he just said not to ask – that I didn't want to know."

"Do you think they killed her?"

"I think my clan handles its own problems," Obito said. "Either they killed her or they're covering for whoever did. Someone told me your Dad and Ibiki brought us to the hospital. Is that true?"

"One of Dad's dogs tracked us," Kakashi said. "I don't know how Ibiki ended up there, but they killed Tomiko."

"They killed Tomiko?" Obito asked.

"It had to happen," Kakashi said.

"If it hadn't been them someone else would have done it," Obito said. "She was dangerous."

Obito's father called him to dinner. "You can stay, Kakashi," he said.

"Thank you sir, but I still have a lot to do today. Perhaps some other time."

When Obito's father closed the door, Obito said, "good call. Dad can't cook for shit."

"I really do have to go," Kakashi said. "I just came by to say thank you."

"Is the great Kakashi actually stepping off his pedestal enough to thank someone?" Obito asked.

"Yeah. I guess you're not always a loser," Kakashi said. "You're alright sometimes."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night Sakumo was awakened by a howling from the kitchen. He went in to see Alpheus sitting on the dog-bed Sakumo had gotten him. The great dog's eyes were closed, and he was howling as if his heart was broken.

Sakumo sat by him. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked. "You've never been a howler before."

Alpheus stopped howling and put his nose under Sakumo's arm, trying to hide.

"You miss the pack, don't you?" Sakumo asked.

"I'm so alone," Alpheus said, his words muffled but barely audible.

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said. "I'd do something if I could. It's just the two of us now."

Alpheus whined.

"Come," Sakumo said, snapping his fingers.

Alpheus followed him to the bedroom, and every bit of his body language said how miserable he was.

Sakumo climbed back into bed and patted the bottom of the bed. "You can sleep up here tonight," he said.

Alpheus cocked his head. "but you said never to get on the bed."

"It's ok for tonight," Sakumo said.

Alpheus jumped on the bed, turned a few times and lay down. Sakumo had barely fallen asleep when he woke again. Alpheus was moving and shuffling.

"Lay still," Sakumo said.

"Sorry," Alpheus said. "This is weird. I can't get used to it."

Alpheus jumped off the bed and curled up in the corner. "I'll just sleep here," he said.

Sakumo sighed and pulled the comforter off his bed and put it in the corner. He lay down, using Alpheus' shoulder for a pillow.

"I guess being mortal is going to take some getting used to," Alpheus said.

"You'll get the hang of it," Sakumo said. "I'll think of something to help you feel less lonely."

The next day he made a visit to the Inuzuka kennels to find Tsume. He hadn't been there since he'd come home, and he was glad to see that most of the people and dogs there ignored him. He got a few curious looks, but no one harassed him.

Tsume's house always smelled like dog. As long as he'd been around the pack he'd never gotten used to how she let her house go. His pack was immortal, and they didn't stay around the house long enough to leave dog hair or urinate.

_I need to brush Alpheus tonight before he sheds on everything, _he thought.

"Hi Alpheus," Tsume said, rubbing his head.

Alpheus wagged his tail and licked her hand.

"You're friendlier today than usual," Tsume said.

"He's been lonely," Sakumo said. "The Dog King wouldn't let the pack obey me anymore, and he left."

"You did that?" Tsume asked Alpheus. "That's so brave." She looked at Sakumo. "I guess he's a lot like his master, isn't he?"

"I hadn't thought of it," Sakumo said, "but I guess so. I was hoping you could help us."

"I might be able to get one of the mothers to give you a puppy," Tsume said. "Would you like a puppy in the house for company, Alpheus?"

"I guess," he said. "I don't really know anything about puppies."

"I was thinking about an adult bitch," Sakumo said. "Do you think any might come with us?"

"I don't know," Tsume said. "I'll ask. We've never done anything like that before, but one of them might agree to it. The dogs have always admired the summons."

Alpheus' ears perked up. "Do you think one of them might really come live with us? I'd love to have another dog in the house."

"Let me go talk to a few of them. I'll come over later."

Alpheus was more energetic on the walk home. "I hope she'll like me. I've never tried to talk to a mortal dog before, except on missions. I need to find something to roll in. Will you groom me? I want to look good when she gets here."

Sakumo laughed. "Don't get ahead of yourself. She's going to have to talk one of the dogs out of following the clan's history. They always hook up with an Inuzuka for life."

"I shouldn't get my hopes up," Alpheus said. "You should probably start calling me something else, too. I'm not the Alpha of anything anymore. I don't want to be laughed at if Tsume talks a bitch into coming over."

"I'll call you Tadao," Sakumo said. "You're the most loyal dog I've ever known – or man for that matter.

"It's a good name," Tadao said. "I'll try to be worthy of it."

"You already are," Sakumo said.

A few hours later Tsume came over with a Tosa Inu. Her broad shoulders and large, square head were obviously a guard dog's features, but she was shy and demure. Her coat was lightly spotted with gray, and Sakumo thought she must have been an older dog.

"This is Mitsuko. Mitsuko, this is Alpheus."

"I renamed him Tadao," Sakumo said. "I think it fits."

"Hello Tadao," Mitsuko said.

"I'll let you two get acquainted," Tsume said.

"Let's go outside for a while," Sakumo said.

They sat outside. "She seems older," Sakumo said.

"None of the others were interested," Tsume said. "They like Alph…Tadao, but they don't want to live with you. I'm sorry."

"I understand," Sakumo said. "They're proud dogs. Why is Mitsuko ok with the idea?"

"She had an injury a few years ago, and she can't fight anymore. She has epileptic seizures occasionally. She's been living with a family as their pet, but she's lonely."

"We'll be glad to have her here. What do I need to do about her seizures?"

"We've been giving her medication, and it helps. She still has seizures, and she needs a human with a lot of patience. The seizures are disturbing. She really needs a lot of love and care, and I think she can find that here."

Tsume gave Sakumo the medication and explained how to treat Mitsuko. Tadao and Mitsuko talked quietly to each other in the kitchen.

"They obviously like each other," Sakumo said. Tadao mounted Mitsuko. "I guess she's staying," Sakumo said.

"It must be so easy to be a dog," Tsume said.

"It's not so easy for Tadao," Sakumo said. "I'm glad he found a mate. He lost his when he decided to stay with me. They loved each other. It's not good for a dog to be alone."

Tadao and Mitsuko were asleep on the dog bed, and they both looked as happy as Sakumo had ever seen dogs look.

"Come over if you need anything," Tsume said.

He was reading in the living room later when he heard the click of dog claws on the floor. He knew the sound of Tadao's claws, and it wasn't him.

"Mitsuko?" Sakumo asked.

She sat in front of the couch. "May I?" she asked.

Sakumo decided not to even try the fight against dog hair. It didn't seem worth the effort. "Sure," he said. "But no getting on tables or the bed."

She jumped up beside him. "Did Tsume tell you about my problem?"

"She did," Sakumo said. "I'll take good care of you. Did you tell Tadao?"

"I did," she said. "He said he didn't care. I really like him."

"He's a good dog," Sakumo said. "Maybe you two could give me some grand-puppies."

"I haven't had a little in years," Mitsuko said. "I'd like that."

She lay down and put her head in his lap. Sakumo stroked her back absently while he read. Tadao came up and put his head on Sakumo's knee, looking pathetic.

"Oh alright," Sakumo said. He shook Mitsuko gently. When she woke up he sat on the floor so both dogs could be with him.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?" Ibiki asked when Kakashi came back to the Morenos' house.

"Yeah, but no one was keeping an eye on me, so I just walked out. I hate hospitals."

"You're going to catch it for that," Ibiki said.

"I wanted to see how Obito was doing," Kakashi said. "They let him go already."

"How is he?" Ibiki asked.

"He's fine – good enough to crack dumb jokes, anyway."

"How much do you remember about what happened?" Ibiki asked.

"I remember some of it," Kakashi said. "I'm still confused about who that brown-headed man was who came with you and Dad."

"That was your father," Ibiki said. "He thought a henge would attract less attention than he would. He's too infamous to wander around the village unnoticed."

"We won't have to worry about Tomiko anymore," Kakashi said. "I'm glad of that."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "That was one crazy bitch."

Kakashi noticed that Ibiki's book was gone. "Are you done studying torture techniques then?" he asked.

"Something really disturbing happened while I was at the warehouse," Ibiki said. "The Interrogator took over for most of the day, and he wanted to torture Tomiko."

"But that's only used for mission purposes!" Kakashi said.

"I know," Ibiki said. "I'm glad your father stopped him. I think I'm scared of him."

"Try to keep him contained," Kakashi said. "He's a good comrade, but I think he's trying things beyond his experience. He could get you into some real trouble."

"He was the one who saved you, not me," Ibiki said. "I mean, I would have, but he's the one who took over. I'm scared of him, but I need him."

"You have more than the Interrogator to support you," Kakashi said. "You have your friends and family."

They talked in circles, with Kakashi trying to reassure Ibiki, and Ibiki alternately saying he was afraid of his alter ego and needed him. They finally got tired of talking.

Kakashi called Pakun and told him what had happened with Tomiko.

"I heard from Alpheus already," Pakun said. "You don't know what happened to him?"

"No," Kakashi said. "Is he ok?"

"The Dog King won't let us obey Sakumo anymore," Pakun said. "You have to draw up a new contract for us, and I don't know if he'll go for it now. Alpheus defied him and went to Sakumo anyway to search for you. He's been exiled from the pack."

"That's horrible!" Kakashi said. "How could he punish Alpheus for being loyal?"

"I know," Pakun said. "We tried to speak with the Dog King about it, but he's so angry he said that if any of us ever mention his name in his presence, that dog will be exiled with Alpheus."

"I'll go visit them tomorrow," Kakashi said.

"I want to go with you," Ibiki said from the top bunk.

"You want to go speak with my father?" Kakashi asked. "You said you weren't going to hurt him."

"I need to talk to him," Ibiki said. "It's important. I'd usually talk to Dad about things that have been going on, but I don't want to make him sad. Your father got me into this. I don't think he'll betray my confidence."

"He wouldn't betray your confidence even if he hadn't caused your problem," Kakashi said.

"I'm afraid that I'll be turned in if someone finds out about the Interrogator. Your father already knows, and he didn't tell anyone. If he did I'm sure I'd have had a visit by a doctor or something."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Kakashi showed up at the field for training the next day, and once again he was left awkwardly alone with Rin.

"Did you hear what happened last night?" Rin asked.

Kakashi hoped she wasn't talking about Tomiko. Obito had made it sound as if the whole incident was a big secret.

"The invasion has been pushed back," she said. "We're not going out for at least a month."

"But it was all ready," Kakashi said. "What happened?"

"You might as well hear it from a friend first," she said. "Your father is still being blamed for the war's setbacks. They're saying this is his fault too."

"How can this be his fault?" Kakashi asked. "He hasn't even been on the field."

"I don't know," Rin said. "My father was ranting about it, and when I asked how it was your father's fault he just said that it was, and not to ask so many questions."

"I think they just need someone to blame," Kakashi said. "I want all this to be over so me and Dad can start building some sort of life again."

Rin took his hand and squeezed it. _I hate it when she does that, _he thought, but before he could pull his hand away, someone stepped between them from behind, breaking the contact.

"Good morning Kakashi," Anko said. "Hello, _Rin,_" she said in an icy voice.

Kakashi wasn't sure what he'd done, but he knew that tone. _I am in trouble for something, _he thought.

"Hi Anko," Kakashi said. "I was hoping I'd see you today."

Anko glared at Rin and Kakashi. "I'm breaking up with you, Kakashi" she said, tossing her hair.

"But why?" Kakashi asked.

"You _know," _she said, glancing Rin's way. Rin turned bright red.

"But she's just my teammate," Kakashi said.

"I'm not talking to you today," Anko said. She turned and walked away quickly.

Kakashi ran after her. "But I don't want to break up. You never even let me kiss you!"

Rin watched them leave, and then she ran behind a tree. She put her face against the rough bark and began to cry.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. _He came back for me! _she thought.

"Kakashi?" she asked, but when she took her head away from the tree she saw Obito looking at her with concern.

"What's wrong, Rin?" Obito asked.

"An…Anko is so horrible!" Rin said, bursting into tears again.

Obito patted her on the back. "What did she do this time?"

"You wouldn't understand," Rin said.

"I might," Obito said, "if you'd tell me."

"Kakashi and I were talking, and she came and yelled at us and left, and he ran after her that way," Rin said, waving her hand in the direction Kakashi and Anko had gone.

"Anko is crazy," Obito said. "Why do you let her bother you?"

"I think she's his girlfriend, or she was," Rin said. "She's not nice to him. I'm nice to him, but he doesn't even notice me."

"I notice you," Obito said.

Rin looked at his earnest face – his nose running slightly under those ridiculous goggles. She turned back to the tree and sobbed again. It wasn't until Obito had left that she realized something had been different about him.

_I wonder why he had a bandage on his head._

XXXXXXXXXXXx

Obito went the direction Rin had pointed. He found Anko and Kakashi eventually, sitting on a bench in a park nearby.

"You jerk!" Obito said.

"What did I do?" Kakashi asked.

"You made Rin cry!" Obito said. "Why did you do that?"

"I didn't!" Kakashi said. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Anko, I want to talk to my teammate," Obito said.

"Ok," Anko said. "I'll see you tomorrow," she told Kakashi.

"I thought we were breaking up," Kakashi said.

Anko kissed him on the lips, over the mask. "I was just mad because I saw you holding hands with Rin. I don't really want to break up with you."

Obito made a noise of disgust.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Anko said to Kakashi.

He touched his lips. "Yeah, tomorrow."

"What is going on?" Obito asked after Anko had left. "I showed up to the training field, and you were gone and Rin was crying."

"Anko got mad because Rin was holding my hand," Kakashi said. "It's stupid. Girl's are weird."

"Go apologize," Obito said.

"For what?" Kakashi asked. "I don't even know what I did wrong."

"You made Rin cry!" Obito said.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll go talk to her, if it will shut you up."

"I'm going with you to make sure you really do it," Obito said.

When they got back Rin was gone. "She'll be fine," Kakashi said. "I'll talk to her next time I see her."

"You'd better," Obito said. "She's the nicest person I've ever known. No one should make her cry."

Team Minato didn't train that day, something rare for them when they weren't on missions. Kakashi decided he needed to talk to his father, so he assumed the same henge he'd seen his father use.

Sakumo's eyebrows rose when he opened the door. "Interesting choice of henge, Kakashi," he said.

"I can't make good henges unless they're of people I've actually seen," Kakashi said. "I didn't see that one too clearly at the time, but I guess its good enough."

"You need to work on that," Sakumo said. "It's hard to make yourself unnoticeable with a henge of a real person. What is someone had recognized the henge from the night you were rescued? It could have caused you problems?"

"I'll work on it," Kakashi said. He dropped the henge.

"I'm glad you came over," Sakumo said. "I want you to meet Mitsuko. She's living with us now."

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Kakashi asked.

Sakumo laughed. "I don't. Alpheus does. He goes by Tadao now. I guess we have to build a whole different life."

"Pakun told me," Kakashi said. "Where did this Mitsuko come from?"

"Tsume brought her over. She's an older bitch that needed a home, and she and Tadao got along so well I'm hoping there might be puppies in a few months."

"I love puppies!" Kakashi said. "Can I name one?"

"If they'll let you," Sakumo said. "They're out back. Come meet her."

Tadao and Mitsuko were sitting quietly, talking to each other as their tails wagged slowly.

"Mitsuko, I want you to meet my son," Sakumo said.

She nosed Kakashi's hand. "Hello, Kakashi. Sakumo-san has told me all about you."

"I hear we might be expecting puppies?" Kakashi asked.

She ducked her head and giggled.

Tadao nipped her ear playfully. "I hope they look like you, Mitsuko" he said.

Kakashi watched the two of them banter playfully. They seemed to forget that the humans were even there.

"I need to talk to you about something," Kakashi said.

"Come inside and we'll talk," Sakumo said. Tadao was mounting Mitsuko again. "I think they could use some time together."

"I asked Oji-Jiraiya about girls, but I didn't learn much," Kakashi said. "I need to know some things."

"What do you need to know?" Sakumo asked.

"Anko kissed me the other day, but then she wouldn't let me kiss her, and now I'm in trouble with her and Rin, and Obito yelled at me for making Rin cry, but I didn't."

"Wow," Sakumo said. "You've had a busy week, huh?" he chuckled.

"It's not funny," Kakashi said. "We couldn't even train today, and I still don't really know what happened. This is getting in the way of my team's progress."

"So you're upset because you're having problems with women, and they aren't logical?" Sakumo asked.

"I guess so," Kakashi said.

"Let's start with this; when a boy and a girl like each other, nothing is logical."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Because love isn't logical," Sakumo said, smiling.

"What does love have to do with it?" Kakashi asked. "I was just talking with Rin, and Anko got mad, and then there was crying and yelling."

"Ok, so not exactly love," Sakumo said. "You know how sometimes I like to spend time with women?"

"Sure," Kakashi said. "I don't know why you like hanging out with civilians."

"Every man has his own taste," Sakumo said. "Sometimes we have a lot of fun together, and sometimes we don't get along."

"If you don't get along then why are you with them?" Kakashi asked.

"You said Anko kissed you?" Sakumo said.

"Yeah."

"And you like her, but you argue, or at least I'm guessing from what you said."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "She's really neat."

"Why is she neat?" Sakumo asked. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. He didn't want to offend Kakashi, but this was the most adorable thing he'd seen in years.

"She does crazy things," Kakashi said. "She's always in trouble, but she's so cool doing it. And she kissed me."

"And because she's "neat" you put up with the yelling and crying?"

"I guess so," Kakashi said. "I just wish I knew how to stop it."

"Ask me that question when you're older and I'll give you a better answer, but for now just be nice to her. If she's too mean you don't have to be her boyfriend."

"I don't think I am," Kakashi said. "I might be her boyfriend; I'm not sure."

"It sounds like you found a live one," Sakumo said. "Why do you think Rin was crying?"

"I don't know, exactly," Kakashi said. "She has a crush on me, but she knows I'm not interested. I think she's upset because of Anko."

"You need to work that out," Sakumo said. "It's important for a team to be able to get past personal differences. You should apologize to her."

"But I'm not sure what I should be apologizing for!"

"This is probably the first thing you really need to learn about dating. Just say you're sorry for making her cry. You don't have to really understand it; just say it."

"And what about Obito?" Kakashi asked.

"Do it in front of Obito. That might make him happy."

"We practice tomorrow. I'll tell her then. I wish girls weren't so weird."

"You and every other man," Sakumo said. "But if they weren't a little weird we wouldn't wan them so much."

"I don't know that I do want them," Kakashi said.

Sakumo chuckled. "You want Anko around though, don't you?"

"Well yeah." Kakashi said.

"She makes you happy, even though she acts weird?" Sakumo asked.

Kakashi giggled.

"That's as much sense as love ever makes," Sakumo said. "Did you have any other questions?"

"Oji-Jiraiya said some stuff about babies, but I don't know what he was talking about. What do babies have to do with all this?"

"Oh, wow… I guess this was coming, huh?" He looked at Kakashi, impatiently waiting for answers.

"Do you know how the dogs have puppies?" Sakumo asked. Kakashi was used to dogs, and Sakumo hoped that might help him.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "They grow in the bitch, and she gives birth."

"Do you know how they get there?" Sakumo asked.

"Not really," Kakashi said.

"You've seen the dogs mount each other, right?" Sakumo asked.

"Yes."

"That's where puppies come from, and when humans do the same things they can get babies."

"I always thought the dogs were playing," Kakashi said.

"They are playing," Sakumo said, "but it's a special kind of playing. You shouldn't do it until you're older."

"That's just weird," Kakashi said. "I don't think it seems very fun."

Sakumo laughed. "Keep that thought for awhile. It will help me sleep easier."

Kakashi left feeling a little less confused, even though he also felt like he had more questions than before.


	20. Chapter 20

AN: Haven't written anything in a while. I've been thinking about this one though. I love Kaka/Anko.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

_Five, six, seven, eight…five, six, seven, eight. _

Kakashi's fingers tapped as he thought. He could make lightening quick decisions on the battlefield, but sometimes it was better to sit quietly and work things out. Plans, graphs, and statistics floated and interacted in his mind. His team, his father, the war – all of it formed swirls of information that needed to be assimilated.

The problem was that Anko figured into too many of his thoughts.

_Five, six, seven, eight, _he tapped, almost unaware of his actions. The first four numbers didn't matter, but the last four were necessary. It was just something odd that helped him think.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ibiki asked, pulling him from his reverie.

Kakashi blinked. He'd been thinking so hard he'd forgotten Ibiki was even in the room.

"I'm just thinking," he said.

"You're really weird sometimes," Ibiki said. "You looked like you wanted to kill someone."

"Huh? I guess I scowl when I'm thinking hard," Kakashi said.

"So what's up?" Ibiki asked.

Kakashi sighed. "Anko," he said.

"I knew she'd be trouble," Ibiki said. He smirked.

"I've been talking with Oji-Jiraiya about her, but he's not helping much. He's more confusing than helpful." He didn't mention talking with his father. He didn't want to talk about him with Ibiki. It was just awkward. He tried not to mention his father when he remembered.

"You need to quit thinking about Princess Drama and focus on training," Ibiki said.

Kakashi told him about his clash with Rin and Obito. "This is starting to affect our teamwork, and it's not that good as it is. It's all we can do to work together. I don't need something hurting my team."

"I thought you didn't think that much of them," Ibiki said.

"I don't, but we're stuck with each other, and we have to work together better than this."

"You know what you have to do, don't you?" Ibiki asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. He thought about the look Anko would have on her face, and he felt nauseous. "I have to put the village first."

"It's just as well," Ibiki said. "She's only going to cause you more trouble."

"If it wasn't for the problems with the team I wouldn't care," Kakashi said. "I don't want her to cry."

"I don't think she's ever cried in her life," Ibiki said. "She seems like the type to make other people cry."

"She's had some really bad things happen to her," Kakashi said. "She's not as hard as she seems."

"You really like her, don't you?" Ibiki asked.

"Yeah. This sucks," Kakashi said. "I'm going to talk to her. Let's spar later. It takes my mind off things."

"Sure," Ibiki said. "I've been reading too much anyway. Dad says I need to get out more."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi had always been irritated at Anko's lack of schedule. She didn't sleep or train at regular times, and because she had no sensei to teach her any different she did what she wanted when she wanted when she was home from her missions.

He checked the training grounds and a few of her favorite hang-outs, but she wasn't there. He tried her house last, and he woke her up.

"I was up training all night," she said. "Is it noon already?"

Her hair was tousled, and her face was flushed slightly. Kakashi looked at those soft lips he hadn't even enjoyed yet, and he almost gave up on his determination to do what was best for his team.

"What's up?" she asked. "You look serious."

"We need to talk," he said. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," she said. "You don't have to ask."

He went in and sat on her messy bed. She sat next to him and took his hand. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Are you ok?"

_She's really worried about me, _he thought. _She isn't thinking about anything except how to help me._

He felt guilty. There was no way he could hurt her. _I'll just have to be careful, _he thought. _She's smart. I'm sure she'll understand. She's a ninja too._

"I'm having some problems with my team," he said. "We're not working well together, and it could get us killed on the battlefield."

"I've noticed you guys fight a lot. That Rin just doesn't know how to work with other people."

"It's not your fault," Kakashi said, "but I'm a ninja first, and Rin and Obito got all worked up over something you did. I don't think I can be your boyfriend right now."

When he saw the shocked look on her face his stomach suddenly felt acidy. "I'm sorry," he said. "I really like you a lot. It's just - this isn't a good idea right now."

He saw Anko's face change, and her eyes turned cold and distant. It was the look he associated with the times that the villagers were unfriendly with her.

"Don't look at me like that," he said. "When we come back from the offensive next month maybe we can be together again."

"Sure," she said. "We'll talk then." She stood. "I have things to do. You should go now."

He couldn't think of anything else to say. "I'm sorry," he said, wishing he could tell her how he felt about her – how her hair and lips made him happy, how her goofy stunts made him like her, even how the things she did that annoyed him made him smile sometimes. But the words just wouldn't come.

"Don't be sorry," Anko said. "We're ninjas. The village always comes first."

"Yeah," Kakashi said, thinking about his father's sins. _I can't let personal things come before my duty. Dad did that, and look what happened._

He stopped in the doorway and looked back at her, still wanting to say something better.

Anko's expression changed again, to one that he didn't see often. He knew her moods, and he was more used to seeing crafty Anko or defiant Anko. He didn't see this look often, and it always made him sad. Need was in her eyes, and a lost look. That look just made him want to keep her safe and see her smile again.

"We're still friends though?" Anko asked.

"Of course," Kakashi said. "I have people I care about. Gai, Kurenai, Asuma – they all stood by me when I needed them, and you were a part of that." He reached out and touched her face, just wanting her to be happy again. "But I think I like you best."

"I like you best too," Anko said.

She smiled the smile he usually saw right before she did something that got her into trouble, and she pulled his mask down and kissed him.

It felt like electricity shot through his body. He fought panic and tried to remember the times he'd seen his father kiss women. It used to happen all the time. A lot of the time they kissed him first.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against hers, hoping he was doing it right. When she pulled away from him she was smiling. "You're still mine," she said. "When we come back from the front we can talk."

"O..ok," he stammered. He had come here with a plan, and Anko had messed it up. As he went home he wondered if he'd ever stop feeling confused when he dealt with her. She'd probably be in a different mood when he saw her next time, too.

Ibiki wasn't home, but Akihiro was sitting on the porch, carving a small dog out of a piece of wood.

"You ok kid?" he asked. "You look kind of rattled."

"I just tried to break up with my girlfriend, but I don't think it worked," Kakashi said. "I'm not sure."

"You're a little young to have a girlfriend, aren't you?" Akihiro asked.

"Am I?" Kakashi asked. "I'm not really sure how that even happened. She kissed me, and then Ibiki said that meant I was her boyfriend. Then she started causing problems with my team, and I had to tell her that I can't be her boyfriend."

"That sounds simple enough," Akihiro said. Kakashi wondered why he was smiling. The wrinkles around his eyes were warm and inviting.

"Well yeah, but then she kissed me and said I'm still hers," Kakashi said. "I don't even know what that means!"

"It means you found yourself a live one," Akihiro said. "You're still a kid. Don't take this so seriously."

"But it is serious," Kakashi said. "I've had missions before, but what we're about to do is different. This is war, and I can't be thinking about her, but she's most of what I think about lately."

"It's because of the war then?" Akihiro asked.

"Yes sir," Kakashi said. "I won't forget my duty."

"It's too bad you kids have this so young. It's not right, but it's just how things are. War won't last forever, and you can be with her if you both still want to. What's happening right now won't keep you apart if you're really meant to be together."

"Like you and Mother?" Kakashi asked.

"We had things that came between us when we were younger," Akihiro said. "It's hard living with someone who's ill so much, but I loved her, and that's all that mattered in the end. I don't know if it's going to be Anko or not, but someday you'll find someone like that, and that's all that will matter."

When Kakashi met his team later he was determined to focus, but he had to handle Rin and Obito first. "I'm sorry I made you cry," he said to Rin. After what had happened with Anko he really was sorry. It had hurt so much to see Anko sad, and now he understood that Rin must feel like that about him most of the time.

"It's ok," she said. "I know you didn't mean to."

Obito was watching them, as Kakashi had meant to happen. "We need to focus on our teamwork and not worry about personal problems," Kakashi said. "Anko won't be a problem again."

There weren't any more problems that day, but their practice was flat and uninspired. The momentum they'd gained together was lost, and he knew it would take work to get back their flow.

His session with Ibiki went better. Ibiki was a genjutsu-type, and Kakashi easily countered his mind techniques, but when Ibiki began to use tai-jutsu and genjutsu mixed together he actually gave Kakashi some trouble.

"Not many people can do that," Kakashi said when they finished. "It's hard to hold enough focus for genjutsu. It has to be hard to use both of those fighting types at once."

"I don't have to focus much on the genjutsu," Ibiki said. "It almost comes naturally. I think I'm going to focus on combining physical attacks with mental techniques. The combination isn't as powerful as either one used alone, but it's unusual, and it has its own strengths."

"It's good," Kakashi said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He had actually managed to put Anko out of his mind for the rest of the day until he saw her talking with Ibiki near a street vendor. Kakashi felt a dark, ugly feeling creep over him. _What does Ibiki have that he would need to talk to her about?_

Ibiki's back was to him, but Anko saw Kakashi and smiled. She bought two sticks of dango and handed one to Ibiki.

_Damn it, I'm the one who eats dango with her! _Kakashi thought.

Ibiki looked down at the sweet she'd given him and handed it back to her. Kakashi couldn't hear what Ibiki said, but his friend turned away from Anko and left, still not seeing Kakashi.

Anko winked at Kakashi. "Want some dango?" she called out to him.

Kakashi turned and left quickly, almost wishing he'd never noticed her lips or her damn pranks.

That night he couldn't enjoy dinner. He purposely kept his face passive, but as he looked at Ibiki sitting there eating his soup quietly he couldn't help but wonder if Anko would kiss him. As they finished dinner he noticed Akihiro watching him.

He wished he could skip their after-dinner talk, but he didn't want the old man to be suspicious. He couldn't talk with him about his son, and he felt that what happened between him and Ibiki should stay between them.

"You need to talk about anything?" Akihiro asked.

"No sir," Kakashi said. "I just had a rough day. It's not really a problem."

"No?" Akihiro asked. "No more girl problems then?"

"How did you know?" Kakashi asked.

"I know the look. You're not the best at hiding your feelings, at least not with us. It's mostly girl problems until you find the right one, and then it's just a different type of girl problems."

"Then why do we bother?" Kakashi asked.

Akihiro shrugged. "Poets and philosophers have been trying to answer that question since before man left caves. It's just a part of life. We give them problems too."

"I don't give her half as many problems as she does me," Kakashi said.

"Are you sure?" Akihiro asked. "You did break up with her."

"I think she likes someone else," Kakashi said.

"What makes you think that?" Akihiro asked.

"I saw her talking with a friend today," he said, careful to keep Ibiki's name out of the conversation. "She bought him dango. _I _eat dango with her."

"She might be trying to make you jealous."

"Why would she do that? She knows how much I like her."

"Yes, and then you broke up with her. She's probably confused."

"I'm confused," Kakashi said. "I don't know what to do about her. I can figure out a battle strategy in a few minutes. I've lead teams on spy missions and retrieval missions, and I passed a Jounin test, but I can't figure her out."

"And you probably never will," Akihiro said. "I can't tell you what to do about her, but you need to get rid of the jealousy. It just makes everything sour. Talk to your friend at least. If he's much of a friend he'll at least be honest with you."

"I think he'd be honest with me," Kakashi said.

Ibiki was just setting up his study materials when Kakashi came in.

"So what were you and Anko talking about earlier?" Kakashi asked.

"Huh? Not much. She was asking me if I know how to cast a certain jutsu. It was kind of weird, because she knows more about gen-jutsu than I do."

"I saw her buy you dango," Kakashi said. "Do you like her?"

"I think she's annoying," Ibiki said. "You know that."

"She's mine," Kakashi said.

Ibiki rolled his eyes. "Weren't you going to break up with her?"

"I did, but she's still mine."

"Fine. I don't want her anyway. I told you she was trouble," Ibiki said. "She interfered with your team, and now she's interfering with my studies without even being here. Get her out of your mind. You're smart. Use your brain."

Kakashi forced himself to think logically. He knew that Ibiki was right, but it didn't make the sour feeling go away. If it wasn't Ibiki that she was with it would be someone else eventually.

"I guess you're right," Kakashi said. "She just gets to me." He sat on the floor and crossed his legs. He closed his eyes and meditated, shutting everything out and focusing on stillness.

When he was finished he felt more centered.

"Better?" Ibiki asked.

"I guess," Kakashi said.

"Even if I did like her I wouldn't get with your girl," Ibiki said. "I don't really like girls like that anyway. They're too much trouble."

"Girls are a lot of trouble," Kakashi said. "I don't know why men bother with them. I guess there must be some reason."

"We both have more important things to think about. You'd better focus. We're about even right now, but I'm working harder than you. If you don't keep up I'll beat you at everything."

"The hell you say," Kakashi said. That night he didn't bother to call Pakkun. He felt closer to Ibiki than he'd ever felt. If Ibiki could say no to Anko than he really could be trusted. Kakashi didn't know how anyone could turn her away. _That's one hell of a good friend, _he thought as he fell asleep. He didn't even feel jealous anymore. He knew Ibiki wouldn't betray him. _I was stupid to ever suspect him, _he thought. He'd do what he had to if he saw her buying someone else dango, but he didn't have to worry about Ibiki.


	21. Chapter 21

Sakumo gathered his tools with a light heart. Tadao and Mitsuko watched him with perk ears and wagging tails.

"I haven't seen you this happy in a long time," Tadao said.

"It's just good to be needed. Those old women really have a lot wrong with their house. I always liked puttering around the house when I was here. I had hoped to teach Kakashi some things about construction, but I guess that's not going to happen."

He saw Tadao's ears droop a bit. "It's ok," Sakumo said. "I don't think he would have enjoyed the work anyway."

"Do you want to come?" he asked Tadao. "You want to go for a walk?"

Tadao barked and jumped up. "I haven't been out in ages!" he said. Sakumo smiled at the dog's understanding of time. Nin-dogs were still dogs at heart.

"What about you?" he asked Mitsuko. "I'm sure the sisters would like you."

"I don't go out," she said quietly. "I had a seizure in the park once. It was awful."

"Do you need me to stay with you?" Tadao asked. "I can go out another time."

_Always thinking of others first, _Sakumo thought. _What a good dog._

"You two have fun," Mitsuko said. "Go have some guy time. I'll be ok here."

"What about the puppies?" Tadao asked.

"We don't even know if I'm pregnant yet," Mitsuko said. "I'll be fine."

"I have to go by the hardware store," Sakumo said. "I need to get some things so I can work on their roof. It's going to take a while, but I think I can fix it myself, or at least with a few clones."

As they walked toward the old women's house Tadao ran circles around Sakumo, barking and jumping.

"You have a lot of energy," Sakumo said.

"We're out again together, just like before," Tadao said, "and I'm going to be a dad soon. I just know it. I never thought I'd actually have puppies."

He grabbed a stick from under a large, spreading oak and brought it to Sakumo.

"Not now," Sakumo whispered. "We've been watched since we left the house. I don't think it would help things for the villagers to see me feeling happy and playing with a dog. They need to think I'm feeling my punishment."

"Jerks," Tadao mumbled around the branch.

"Not really," Sakumo said. "Just hurt people needing an outlet for their grief. It will change in time."

"Let's hope so," Tadao said. "I'd hate to have to bite someone."

"If you share my fate you'll have to share my humility," Sakumo said.

"I don't remember you ever being humble before," Tadao said.

"It's good to learn," Sakumo said. "Perhaps if I'd learned when I was younger I wouldn't have been so arrogant as to fail a mission for my own reasons."

"You don't really mean that, do you?" Tadao asked. "Tsume would be dead. Isn't she one of your bitches?"

"Not at all," Sakumo said. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Humans breed weird," Tadao said. "She seems to like you enough to be your mate, and I know you two bred in the past."

"You haven't been on the mortal plane much except for on missions, have you?" Sakumo asked.

"No," Tadao said. "I've never been that interested before. It didn't seem very important."

"Humans don't breed like dogs," Sakumo said. "It doesn't mean the same thing to us. Mortal dogs don't breed like ninja dogs either. They're not monogamous like you or the mortal ninja dogs."

"Then why did you and Tsume breed?"

"It was…just for fun," Sakumo said. "We only did it a couple times. I don't like women who are dominant. We both decided it was better to be comrades."

"I don't either," Tadao said. "Bitches should be betas, and Tsume is definitely your Alpha."

"Well I wouldn't have put it like that," Sakumo said. "How did you know about Tsume anyway?"

"You forgot I was there, I guess. I was trying to get some rest after that mission in the Rain country when I hurt my leg. She was loud; she kept me awake."

Sakumo chuckled. "You know – I'd forgotten about that. She's a wild-cat."

"What does that mean?" Tadao asked.

"She was enjoyable to mate with," Sakumo said. He noticed that they were approaching a larger street, and there were people going about their business.

"Why don't you ever talk about what happened?" Tadao asked. "I just assumed she was your bitch."

"It's crude to talk about the people you have sex with," Sakumo said. "It's a private thing with humans.

"Jiraiya talks about sex all the time," Tadao said. "Every time I'm around him he's on about some new bitch or Tsunade-hime."

"He and I have different views on women."

They were getting within hearing range of a group of people. "We should change the subject," he said. "Humans aren't comfortable talking about sex."

"That's all Jiraiya-sama talks about. If he breeds so much why hasn't he had a litter yet?" Tadao asked.

"That's complicated," Sakumo said as they approached the busy street. "Let's talk about something else."

As they moved through the streets he heard people mutter around him. He picked out the occasional harsh word, but no one said anything to him directly.

_It's probably because of Tadao, _Sakumo thought. The dog was intimidating.

"Trash," he heard near him, just loud enough for him to hear.

Tadao growled.

"No," Sakumo said. His voice still carried enough authority that Tadao stopped, but Sakumo was attuned enough to his former summon's mood that he knew he was angry. His hackles weren't up yet, but his movements betrayed his irritation.

"Down," Sakumo said. "Calm yourself." _It was a mistake to bring him out. I didn't think about how their feelings might affect him._

He didn't relax until the old women met him at the door.

"He doesn't bite, does he?" Ume asked.

"Not unless I tell him to," Sakumo said. "He's usually very polite. Say hello, Tadao."

Tadao bowed his head slightly. "Good morning," he said.

"He talks!" Rie said.

"He's the only ninja dog that stayed with me," Sakumo said.

Rie patted him on the head. "What a nice dog. Would you like a cookie?"

"Um…I've never had one," Tadao said.

Rie fetched an old tin with faded hibiscus flowers painted on it. Her shaking hand pulled out a large cookie. It wasn't quite burnt, but it was definitely darker than it should have been.

Tadao took the cookie from the old woman carefully, slowly using teeth that had torn enemies' arms off at times. He bit into the cookie and stopped, looking at Sakumo with surprise.

"Is this how they're supposed to taste?" he asked.

"They're good, aren't they?" Sakumo said. The old women were focused on Tadao. "Eat it," he mouthed at the dog silently.

Tadao ate slowly. "Thank you," he said. "Could I have some water? My mouth is dry."

"Of course," Ume said. She fussed over Tadao, and Sakumo enjoyed watching his friend being loved by humans, as was a dog's right.

"I'm going to work on the roof," Sakumo said. "Tadao, why don't you stay and entertain the ladies? I'm sure they'd love a few stories about your life. Nothing too graphic though." He didn't have to tell Tadao to avoid anything classified. The dog knew his duties better than that.

"We don't have a ladder," Ume said.

Sakumo laughed. "I hope I haven't forgotten my skills enough to have trouble getting on a roof." He leapt up easily and formed a couple clones to help him.

As he worked the wind began to pick up and clouds rolled in. He enjoyed being out in the elements. When lightening began in the east he didn't want to leave. He felt at peace there, on the old womens' roof. The neighborhood seemed to be watching him as he worked, but he didn't see much of the anger he'd seen earlier – more curiosity than anything.

Lightening struck only a few miles away. _I should go in, _he thought, but he stayed on the roof. He'd promised Kakashi he wouldn't kill himself. He never said he wouldn't give nature the chance to do it for him. Just because he was happy now didn't mean he wouldn't still have to face a lifetime of shame and guilt.

"You need to come down," he heard Tadao call up from the ground.

"I'm fine," Sakumo said. "I still have work to do, and it has to be leaking in there."

"I can't come up there because of my old leg wound, but you really do need to come down," Tadao said. A bolt of lightning struck nearby, and Sakumo had to use chakra to hold onto the roof as a strong gust of wind hit him.

"Go inside," he said.

"But…"

"I'm still your master," Sakumo said. "Obey me."

The dog left, and Sakumo returned to his work. He patched as many holes as he could, and when the storm passed he reluctantly went inside. Even Kakashi couldn't have doubted the randomness of a lightning strike.

Tadao growled at him softly. "That wasn't smart," he said.

"No," Ume said. "We were worried about you. Tadao wouldn't let us go out."

"I didn't mean to worry you," Sakumo said. "I wanted to fix the holes before they started leaking too badly."

He knew from Tadao's look that he didn't believe him.

"There was probably more storm damage around the neighborhood," Sakumo said. "I'll see what I can do to help."

"I'm coming too," Tadao said.

Sakumo decided to let Tadao come. He really hadn't meant to cause his friend so much distress.

Ume handed him the tin. "Take some cookies with you," she said.

"Thank you, Grandmother," Sakumo said. _I suppose I could use them as building material, _he thought wryly.

He could see massive damage from the storm. "It was stronger than I thought," he lied.

Tadao growled lightly.

"Sakumo-kun, there are a lot of things to live for. Don't forget that," Ume said.

He looked into her eyes, so obviously unfooled by his simple ruse. _Intelligent women always catch me at lies, _he thought.

"Thank you Grandmother," he said. "I'll remember your kind words."

He went next door. A tree branch had punched a hole in the roof, and two adults were standing below, pointing and arguing about how they should fix it. A woman balanced a baby on her hip.

"Can I help you with that?" Sakumo asked.

The woman scowled at him. "We can't afford a ninja," her man said. "We'll figure it out. We always do somehow."

"It's free," Sakumo said.

They looked at him suspiciously. "It's part of my community service," he lied.

"We're building an add-on in the back," the woman said. "There's wood there, and we have some tools."

They had a ladder, and Sakumo used it as if he couldn't simply hop onto the roof. He was beginning to learn that people responded better to him if he didn't appear to be powerful. It was the exact opposite of his former life. The old women wouldn't have cared, but he didn't know these people.

The man climbed up after him. "I'm Haru. I was going to get up here and fix this by myself once I got her to quit arguing. You know how women are."

"I'm glad to help," Sakumo said.

"She was worried about it being too slippery. I've been up here before."

They fixed the hole, but he noticed other places that shingles had blown off in this storm or previous ones, so he just kept working. Eventually Haru's woman came up with some water. "Do you want to come down for food?" she asked. "You're welcome too, Sakumo-san," she said.

He hadn't told either of them her name. _I'm probably the gossip of the neighborhood. _She was friendlier now, probably because they'd really needed the help. She went inside again.

"I can do more tomorrow," Sakumo said. "The sun is setting, and it will be easier with more light."

As Haru was moving down the roof toward the ladder he slipped and began to slide down the roof, grabbing desperately at any handhold.

Sakumo moved quickly and caught him just as he went over the roof. He pulled Haru back onto the roof. Haru panted with fear. When he could talk again he said, "thanks. Don't tell her. She'll never let me live it down."

Sakumo chuckled. "We'll keep it between us."

Tadao had waited patiently on the ground. Haru invited him in, and his three children fussed over the dog. Sakumo watched Haru letting the littlest one ride him like a horse.

As they walked home, Tadao asked Sakumo, "what happened on the old womens' roof? You know better than that."

"I guess I can't lie to you, can I?" Sakumo asked.

"You've never lied to me before," Tadao said. "I'd have known."

"We all have our own paths to take," Sakumo said. "If anything happens to me I know Jiraiya or Kakashi will make sure you and your family are taken care of."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Tadao said. "Did you want to die up there?"

"It would be better for Kakashi and Jiraiya," Sakumo said. "You can't deny that."

"But you promised Kakashi!" Tadao said.

"And I'll keep that promise. If there were an accident he couldn't blame me. Let me choose how to live and die, Tadao."

"Yes Master," Tadao said. His tail was tucked and his ears against his head.

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said. "I hurt everyone I love, including you."

"It's ok," Tadao said. "Just don't do it again."

Mitsuko was sleeping peacefully when they returned. _I should have thought of them earlier, _Sakumo thought. _They really do need me. Is there anything I don't fuck up anymore?_

But he remembered the old women. They needed him too. _I'm so selfish, _he thought. He thought best in the shower, so he took a long time getting the grime of the day off himself, pondering his own future. There was hope in it if he thought about his new connections in the poor neighborhood. He couldn't help but wonder how it would be to always be hated by most of the village, but he would have to find a way to live with it.

Still, he wondered if the next time there was a storm he might find himself on another roof hoping for an accident.

"You look sad," Mitsuko said later.

"I am," Sakumo said. "I found some people that accept me, but I can't help but remember how many lives I've ruined. I feel like I'm still ruining Kakashi's life."

"Sakumo, let's talk alone," Tadao said, "man to man."

"Ok," Sakumo said. He was intrigued. Tadao had never spoken to him like this.

They went to the backyard and sat on the porch. The smell of wet after-rain dirt met them.

"Mitsuko saved me," Tadao said. "I was so sad without my pack, but she filled some of the hole she left."

"I'm glad she did," Sakumo said. "You two deserve each other."

"You need someone like her," Tadao said. "I don't understand how humans breed, but I know that if you could find someone like Mitsuko said maybe you could be happy again."

"Maybe," Sakumo said. "It's not that easy for humans though. There are a lot more things to think about."

"Humans are too complicated," Tadao said.

"You might be right," Sakumo said.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: I love ninja dogs. Warning here for disturbing imagery. Mitsuko has a seizure, and it's graphic. I almost didn't write that part in, but it wouldn't have been right to leave out such an important part of her life and how it affects her new family.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo left Tadao at home the next day. He didn't like the way the nin-dog had reacted to the hostility in the village, and the last thing he needed was for his dog to bite a civilian. It wasn't his own punishment he was worried about. Tadao would probably be put down, and if something happened to his most loyal friend he didn't know how he'd go on.

The village might have hated him, but the old women loved him. That was something. He saw people in their neighborhood working on their houses, nailing bits of low-quality plywood or sheet metal over holes – anything they could find. Some of the ones with a bit more money actually bought cheap, knot-holed wood, but he could tell they didn't have much choice as to materials.

He did some calculations. With the low-level missions he was getting it was all he could do to pay the bills and put a bit aside for Kakashi. He was a smart kid, but Sakumo knew what kids were like with money. He wasn't very good with it himself.

Buying the tools at the hardware store had exhausted any extra cash he could get, but he dipped into his savings enough to get some better wood. Word got around quickly, and the people who lived nearby were there raiding his supply almost before it was unloaded.

A young girl approached him with a hot drink in a plastic cup. "Mama said to give you this. Thank you Sakumo-san." She handed him the drink and ran away, leaving him looking after her with her red ribbons blowing in the breeze. He looked at the milky concoction.

He felt a tear threatening to escape. _I'm getting too sentimental, _he thought, but it meant something to him that at least these people seemed to accept him a bit.

He worked as long as the light held, moving from house to house and creating clones to speed up the work. The men of the neighborhood worked to rebuild their damaged houses while the women cleaned and found various things that had been lost in the storm. Outdoor chairs with broken legs, shards of old clay pots, and even a broken tire began to form a pile in a vacant lot. Children ran around, the older ones helping their parents while the younger ones played in that excitement that children feel over anything new. When the women put as much into the pile as they wanted they lit it on fire, filling the area with acrid, oily smoke. He couldn't honestly tell the difference between some of the things they kept and some they threw away, but he supposed they knew what could be fixed with duct tape and chicken wire, and what was either unredeemable or not worth the effort.

By the time night fell some sense of order had been reestablished. He'd always pictured the poor living in dirty ghettos, but these people obviously had pride in their hovels. The neighborhood seemed to be mostly made up of old people and large, sprawling families. A few single men lurked around the area trying to look cool, but even they jumped when the old women snapped at them to get to work.

No one was hostile to him in this place anymore. _They're as low as I am, _he thought.

An old man with a hazy white eye approached, and Sakumo could tell the man was an authority figure. He carried himself like a Kage.

"You'll eat with us tonight, Sakumo-san," he said, and Sakumo knew that his place at the small village-within-a-village was established.

"I'm honored sir," Sakumo said. "I enjoyed working here today."

The old man held out a dark hand obviously dirt-stained from working as hard as his younger neighbors. "I'm Itou Tsuyoshi. You can clean up at my place. The women will fuss otherwise." He grinned, showing broken teeth. "No one wants an angry woman at meal-time. They might spit in the food, eh? I don't like that kind of spice." He chuckled at his own joke, and Sakumo couldn't help but smile as well. If he'd fallen in life the bottom wasn't quite as bad as he'd feared it might be.

The food was good and plentiful. Tsuyoshi's wife served her husband and then Sakumo before anyone else even touched the food.

_I'm an honored guest here, _he thought with shock. _These people don't care what I did. They only know me as I am now._

She piled flatbread, beans and vegetables on his plate, and she added a soft cheese that he'd never seen before. The whole family ate voraciously, even the young, thin girls.

_They probably need a lot of energy for hard work, _he thought.

A few of the girls kept glancing at him and blushing, pushing dark hair behind their ear and smiling occasionally. One of them might have been an adult; he wasn't sure. He made sure not to do anything that might make them think he was returning their attentions. That sort of trouble was the last thing he needed, but he was a bit glad that the sight of his mask less face still got that kind of attention. Even the older women seemed to watch him, and he made a mental not to try to keep his mask on and avoid being alone with the females unless he meant to date one.

_I've still got it, _he thought.

After dinner he chatted with some of the men, and he continued the lie about his punishment. "It's community service," he said. "I was hired to help the old sisters, but I like it around here, so I asked if I could serve some of my sentence here."

One of the younger men nodded. "Who hasn't had a sentence or two, huh?"

The men around him laughed heartily. It was hard to think of these people as criminals, but he supposed they had to do whatever they found that could feed themselves and their families. If he'd been that poor when Kakashi was little he would have done what it took to feed him. After what he'd done, who was he to judge them anyway?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The dogs were excited to see him, as usual. "I thought you'd never get home!" Tadao said. He stretched and jumped. "Let's play outside!"

"You always think I'm gone forever," Sakumo said. "It was only a day."

"Was it?" Tadao asked.

They played fetch in the backyard with Mitsuko watching them. Tadao tried to get her to play with them a few times, but she seemed content to lie quietly and watch them.

When Sakumo climbed into bed he felt the first sense of satisfaction he'd known in a long time. If Kakashi were to visit him soon he would have almost as much as he wanted out of life at the moment. A woman in his life would make him as complete as he was likely to get, but that was another problem for another time.

He slept heavily, and he woke groggily to the sound of Mitsuko whining. She was still on the floor, but her paws were on the bed and she was looking at him intently.

"What's wrong?" he asked, instantly awake. He grabbed the kunai from under his pillow and listened for out-of-place sounds. Ninja dogs didn't act like this unless there was a problem. Only a short time ago he might have let an intruder kill him, but now he had a canine family to protect, as well as two old women who needed him.

"I don't feel well, Sakumo-kun," Mitsuko said.

Sakumo relaxed and put the kunai away. "I thought we were under attack," he said. He patted the bed. "Come on".

Mitsuko jumped on the bed and lay near him. She licked his hand and whined.

He looked at her eyes and touched her nose, but both seemed normal. "Let me see your tongue," he said.

She opened her mouth obediently, and he checked her tongue for irregularities. He pressed her side, asking her if it hurt, but she seemed fine there. "I don't see anything wrong immediately," he said. "What are you feeling?"

"I know what's happening," she said. "I get this weak, sick feeling before I have a seizure. I didn't want Tadao to see it, but I don't want to be alone."

"I'll stay with you," Sakumo said. He stroked her side, and he could feel her trembling slightly.

"Tsume told me how to help you," he said. "You'll be ok."

"I'm scared," she said. "I'm always scared when they happen."

"It's ok," he said, keeping his voice low and comforting. "Try to relax."

Her eyes rolled back in her head, and she began to shake. Sakumo watched her, his heart hurting for her as her body jerked. He knew she wasn't in danger, but it still bothered him to see a good dog in distress. She began to foam at the mouth, and he waited patiently until her body stilled.

She lay still for a few minutes and began to whine. She tried to stand unsteadily, but Sakumo put his hand on her back, applying just enough pressure to let her know what he wanted without upsetting her.

"Lay down," he said. "Don't try to get up."

She whined. "Where's Yuto?" she asked with misery in her voice. "I can't see, and I want Yuto."

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said. "I don't know a Yuto. Tsume told me about the post-ictal phase. Your sight will come back. You're just confused right now."

"Who are you?" Mitsuko asked. "I want Yuto."

"I'm Sakumo," he said. "You live with me now, remember?"

"Sakumo-kun?" she asked. "I forgot who you were. I'm scared. Please hold me. I don't like this."

He lay down and let her put her massive head on his chest, and he put his arms around her and spoke softly until she quit trembling. He felt her breathing slow, and he let her sleep that way.

_Poor thing, _he thought. _She deserves a good home. I hope we can give her as much as she needs._

When she woke he asked, "do you know where you are now?"

"Yes," she said. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It's ok," he said. "You're a wounded veteran. It's an honor to help you." _More of an honor than I deserve, _he thought, but he didn't follow the trail that kind of thought led to. It would have been selfish. This time needed to be about Mitsuko's needs, not his own guilt.

"I'm glad you're my human now," she said. "My old family liked me, but they wouldn't have done this."

"Anytime you need me I'm here," Sakumo said. "You feel more like a sister than a dog to me."

"I'm old enough to be your mother, pup," she said. "I'm a much older sister then."

"Very well, older sister. How do you feel?"

"Sore and tired," she said, "but that's normal afterwards."

"Tadao's going to see this eventually," Sakumo said. "We can't hide it from him forever."

"I know," she said. "They only happen now when I'm really stressed."

"What's stressing you?" Sakumo asked. "Is it the new environment? I know that bothers dogs sometimes."

"That's a bit of it. I'm afraid Tadao will really understand how old I am. I have the seizures, and my bones ache sometimes, and when I'm sick it's worse and lasts longer than it should. It's been so long since I've had a litter that I don't even know if I can any more, and I'm afraid Tadao will kick me out if I can't."

"That's not like him," Sakumo said. "The summons are monogamous, and he's not the type to give his heart away and take it back. I can tell he really loves you."

"I love him," she said. "I want to give him puppies so badly."

"If you can't we'll see if the Inuzuka's can help you artificially." She wasn't a nin-dog anymore, so they might not do it for free, and Sakumo tried not to think about how he'd afford that. Mitsuko was worth the expense, and he still had his savings. He'd find a way.

"Sakumo?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," Mitsuko said. She licked his face.

"I love you too, older sister," Sakumo said.

She sighed and closed her eyes again.

"I need to know something for the next time," Sakumo said. "Who is Yuto? You called out for him after your seizure."

"He was my mate," she said. "He died in battle over 20 years ago. I love Tadao, but I guess Yuto will always hold a spot in my heart no one else can ever take."

Sakumo glanced at his bedside table, where a picture of Kakashi's mother sat with a black satin ribbon around the frame. "I understand the feeling," he said.

He heard the soft click of claws on the wooden floor. "Up Tadao," he said.

The big dog leapt up on the bed, and Sakumo had to move to the edge to make room for them both.

"What happened?" Tadao asked. "I woke up and something felt wrong in the house."

"I had a seizure," Mitsuko said. "I didn't want you to see it. They're frightening."

"I knew what I was getting into," Tadao said. "I need to be a part of this as well as the better things in your life. It's my right as your mate."

She moved from Sakami's side to Tadao's. "Thank you."

Tadao and Sakumo watched her fall asleep. "Thank you Master," Tadao said.

"Any time," Sakumo said. "You two are more than worth it."

Sakumo finished the night at the edge of the bed. _I have a feeling I'd better get used to this, _he thought. _I'm going to be as bad as Tsume someday. _He'd known her to sleep with five large dogs in her bed, and during their brief interlude he had to occasionally convince nin-dogs to give them some privacy. It was one of the reasons he'd quit sleeping with her.

When he woke the dogs were gone, back to their beds or their food or whatever it was that they were needing at the moment.

_I wish I could be a dog, _he thought. Sometimes lately it seemed as if it would be wonderful to have a simple life with someone else in charge – someone who wouldn't fuck things up as much as he did. He'd always enjoyed being independent, but he'd always felt confident and strong before.

The dogs were sleeping in their large bed, and Tadao had thrown a leg over Mitsuko and put his head on her side protectively. It didn't look like a comfortable position, and Sakumo assumed the younger dog was feeling uneasy with the situation.

He had a simple breakfast and decided to head to the mission director and see if he could pick up a mission or two. Jounin pay had kept him from ever having to wonder about money, but he hadn't saved as much as he should have, and as much as he wanted to work with his new friends he still had bills.

He felt a bit of irritation at the groveling he had to do with the mission director to get missions. The clerk was someone he'd always looked down on – a pimply faced man with slicked back hair and thick glasses. He'd never intentionally showed his disdain, but the guy probably knew, because he went out of his way to humiliate him. He always had a snide comment or question. "Do you think you can handle this?" or "This one's kind of difficult. Don't bail out if a Genin cuts his hand."

He never talked back to the mission director. It was a part of his punishment, and the more it stung the better.

As he washed his plate he heard a knock. Tadao lifted his head quickly, but Mitsuko slept on.

"It's ok," Sakumo said.

Tadao stayed where he was, but he watched while Sakumo answered the door. Sakumo approved of his alertness. He didn't bother making a clone this time. If someone wanted to assassinate him they could have done it already.

The man who wasn't Ibiki stood outside. _I guess this was coming sooner or later, _Sakumo thought. _It's my own fault for being happy yesterday. My karma is too bad for that to go unpunished._

"It's time for us to talk," The Interrogator said. His eyes held neither malice nor warmth.

The Interrogator stepped into Sakumo's house before he was invited, and he looked at the dogs in the breakfast nook. Tadao watched The Interrogator intently, and Sakumo thought it seemed like one predator acknowledging another.

"Can we speak privately?" The Interrogator asked. "There are things that should stay between us."

"Tadao, take Mitsuko outside for awhile," Sakumo said.

Tadao woke his mate and they went outside, but Sakumo knew they were listening for any sound of fighting.

He was wearing some weapons under his clothes, and he wouldn't let this man kill him. Only a few days ago it wouldn't have been an issue, but now he'd decided to stay alive for whose who needed him, and he wasn't one to go back on a decision easily.

_I can take him, _he thought. _I don't know what I'm facing, but he's still in a child's body, and I think he's overreaching himself. I'll just have to be careful not to injure him too badly._

"Sit down," The Interrogator said. "We have a lot to talk about."

Sakumo sat, every nerve alert for attack. _I need to regain control of this situation, _he thought. _Why the hell does this kid rattle me like this?_

"Relax," The Interrogator said. "I promised Kakashi I wouldn't try to hurt you, and _I _know my duty."

Sakumo flinched at his inflection. This person was already referring to his failed mission. _I didn't expect much else, _Sakumo thought. _I just have to bear this as another part of my punishment._

The Interrogator removed his headband and forehead protector. He tucked the headband into a pocket and held the forehead protector loosely. "I suppose you know what I'm here about," he said.

Sakumo looked at the deep pits and sharp marks that covered The Interrogator's head and face.

"I've been expecting you," Sakumo said. "I'm relieved that you've finally come."

"Are you?" The Interrogator asked. Nothing in his voice betrayed whatever emotion he might have been feeling.

_Damn, he's good, _Sakumo thought. Most kids that age were bad at emotion control, but this was hardly a child in front of him.

"Since you helped me find Kakashi I wanted to talk to you. I hope that because of our…connection you can talk to me without fear. I owe you."

"You do," The Interrogator said.

"What do you want to know?" Sakumo asked. "Do you need to talk about what happened to you, or why I failed?"

The Interrogator leaned forward, and for the first time Sakumo saw an eagerness in his face. "Neither," The Interrogator said. "You're going to tell me about some of the darker aspects of the ninja world. I know you were ANBU when you were younger. I talked to them already, but they said that Inu and Crow were special exceptions to a lot of rules. I can fight well, but I'm not nearly as talented as they are, and they won't let me in."

_Darker aspects? _Sakumo wondered.

"The Uchihas are going to teach me to be an interrogator, but I know that they think I'm a child. You're going to tell me things adults need to know. I want to know how to get information out of an enemy –_all the ways to get that information."_

"I'll teach you mental and emotional techniques to use," Sakumo said, "even distasteful ones, but I'm not teaching you how to physically torture someone until you're an adult. The Interrogators would be better at that anyway."

"You owe me," The Interrogator said.

"I owe Ibiki too," Sakumo said. "What you do affects him. You need to remember that. I don't know what you are, but you're not a child. He is, and what you do affects him."

"I'll make sure he doesn't know," The Interrogator said. "I'm stronger than he is. I can shut him down for a time. He won't even be conscious of what I'm doing. He wants me to protect the village. That's all he really cares about."

"I never was very good at it," Sakumo said. "They never used me for Interrogation. I just wasn't compatible with the training. It takes a certain kind of personality to be good at interrogation." _It takes a psychopath, _he thought.

"But you know all the theory, right?" The Interrogator said.

"I know the theory," Sakumo said. "I'll teach you how to invade a mind with your words and movements and silence. That's as far as I'll go. If you want more you'll have to look elsewhere."

"That's enough for now…" Ibiki smiled, his eyes cold and dark, "_Sensei."_

He left without saying anything else, and Sakumo was left feeling like he had just faced down a ninja snake.

He let the dogs back in. "Is everything ok?" Tadao asked. "I was worried."

"I think I just took on a student," Sakumo said.

"Is that a good thing?" Mitsuko asked.

"Not really," Sakumo said. "I don't think it's good at all."


	23. Chapter 23

The aggressive feeling of The Interrogator's chakra woke Kakashi. _I should have called Pakkun, _he thought. He didn't move, listening for any signs of an attack. Instead he heard the scratching of a pen and the occasional turn of a page.

He sat up and saw his roommate hunched over their small desk, intently reading a new text. The Interrogator glanced at Kakashi. "It's about time you were up. We don't have much time. We're three weeks away from a major push into enemy territory and you're sleeping in."

Kakashi glanced at the alarm clock and rubbed raw eyes. It was 8 A.M. He usually got up at 6, if not earlier.

"I only fell asleep a couple hours ago," he said.

"Is it Anko again?" The Interrogator asked.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know why you care," Kakashi said.

"I care because we're comrades, and Ibiki thinks enough of you that he'll probably depend on you in the field. I'd hate to get killed because he trusts someone who wasn't prepared because he was too busy worrying about some chit of a girl."

"I'll be ready," Kakashi said. "I know you've found new strength, but don't underestimate me. There isn't a ninja under Jounin in this village that could beat me except for Gai, and I could kick most of the Jounins' asses if I really wanted to. We probably won't be working together anyway. I've lead missions before, and I've been in combat, but this will be my first combat mission as team captain. I'll be with Team Minato. You don't have to worry about Ibiki. I won't let my friend die."

"You're strong enough," The Interrogator said, "but you still act like a kid. You're too emotional about Anko and your team."

"I don't think ninjas are meant to be devoid of emotion," Kakashi said. "We're just supposed to be able to control and hide them."

"And do you think that you're really controlling yours?" The Interrogator asked. "Why were you up all night?"

Kakashi thought about all the things rolling around in his head. Anko had been a concern, and he'd laid awake thinking about her, but it was also concern for Ibiki and his father that had left him restless. He'd slept a bit, but he'd woken after a nightmare. He'd dreamed that he and his uncle had died on the battlefield, and without them there to protect his father the village had lynched him. He had woken right after he'd seen his father's bloodied body lying in the street in front of their house.

"That's personal. I don't mind talking about it with Ibiki, but I don't think it's something you and I need to talk about."

"Why?" The Interrogator asked. "Your welfare is important to Ibiki, and you're mental health affects my life, so your well-being is my concern. You know that I see you as a comrade. You're also the only person who knows who I am."

Kakashi felt irritated with The Interrogator's emotionless responses. "Because when I talk to you I feel like I'm some sort of experiment – like you're testing my responses and using what you've learned to get information out of me I can't help but wonder if I'm just a way for you to use the things you've been studying."

"It's outside of who I am not to do so," The Interrogator said. "That doesn't mean I'm against you in any way. You have my loyalty for how you treat Ibiki."

"I don't understand you," Kakashi said. "You speak as if you have no feelings at all sometimes. Part of the reason I was up all night was thinking about how this affects Ibiki."

"You don't need to worry about his safety," The Interrogator said. "I have that well in hand."

"You can keep him physically safe," Kakashi said, "but what about his mind? He isn't well. I forget at times, until you show up. Then I remember how sick he is right now."

"It's because of his pain that I'm here. He's needs me. If it wasn't for me, he'd be a crying mess in the psych ward."

"Is he that bad?" Kakashi asked. "I don't really know much of what's going on with him. You tell me more than he does."

"He can't really talk about it to anyone but me," The Interrogator said. "He shut that part of himself away when he created me, and it's too painful for him to revisit."

"I don't know how I can help him then," Kakashi said.

"You're someone stable in his life," The Interrogator said, "and he knows that since you were ANBU you're not freaked out by the darker side of life. It means a lot to him that you're not afraid of him. He's terrified that his other friends will look at him with horror when they really see what he's become. I've been trying to tell him that he needs to spend time with more people, but he really doesn't want to see terror on their faces."

"I just want him to be well again," Kakashi said.

"It's not going to happen. You can mend a cracked pot, but the places where you glued it together will always be weaker than the rest of the pot." He touched his head. "And uglier."

"So what will you do, keep him locked away from the world? How will he get any better if you hide him from us?"

"I'm not hiding him; I'm protecting him," The Interrogator said. "I hope that someday his soul will be less raw, and he can interact with the world more, but for now I'm keeping him hidden except when he's with people he can trust. I don't lock him in a cell. He retreats of his own free will. He won't even deal with the people he can trust, except for you and his parents."

Kakashi looked at this man speaking to him so calmly about his brother's pain. "I hate how you can talk about him like this. Do you feel anything?"

"I feel things," The Interrogator said. "I just don't have the same emotions people would normally have."

"What then?" Kakashi asked. "I haven't heard you express any real emotion since I've met you."

"Anger, determination, loyalty, duty – I feel those things. I just don't feel fear or what you'd call love. Ibiki didn't need me to feel those when he made me. He didn't create me with the capacity for those emotions."

"Are you only what he made you to be? Can't you change at all?"

"I don't know. I have one thing that I don't think he intended in me."

"What's that?"

"He's honest with me in a way that he can't be honest with anyone else," The Interrogator said. "And when I see his pain, I pity him. I don't think I'll ever have that feeling for anyone else, but he does have my pity."

"I feel that way too," Kakashi said.

"And that's why we're having this discussion right now," The Interrogator said. "You're as necessary to any recovery he might make as I am. I need us to keep an understanding."

Kakashi felt drained. He'd had too much to think about lately, and this conversation was too intense for a night with only a few hours of sleep. He was too active to keep this up much longer. He rubbed his eyes again and wished for nothing more than a few hours sleep. He had to get to work though. He had too much to do to waste any more time.

"We have an understanding," Kakashi said. "We'll get him through this somehow."

Kakashi leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "I need coffee."

"You don't drink coffee," The Interrogator said.

"I do today," Kakashi said.

"Have you always had these sleeping problems?"

"No," Kakashi said. "It's just been that since Dad…" he stopped, suddenly remembering that he didn't want to talk about his father with The Interrogator.

"It's ok," The Interrogator said. "You can talk to me about him. I consider him a comrade as well. He's a fallen comrade, but he's still a powerful ninja, and I think that his punishment doesn't fit the crime."

"You can say that?" Kakashi asked. "After what happened to Ibiki you can honestly think that?"

"He's useful," The Interrogator said. "The village is throwing away a good tool that could be mended and used again. It's foolish."

"Oh," Kakashi said. He was disappointed. He had hoped that The Interrogator had discovered the idea of mercy, but that was probably too much to ever hope for.

"I did hate him, but then I realized that I'd do better to reserve that emotion for my enemies. It's not logical to hate a comrade."

Kakashi had never thought of hate as a logical thing, but if it kept his father safe he wouldn't question the reasoning. He remembered The Interrogator's first statements about his father, and he was glad he'd come to some sort of peace with the situation.

"He's a useful tool to me, at least," The Interrogator said.

Kakashi didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean?"

"This morning your father agreed to be my sensei – reluctantly, but he agreed."

"Why would you want that?" Kakashi asked.

"He was ANBU, and I know that they know torture and interrogation tactics. ANBU won't accept me, so I did the next best thing. I reminded him of his obligation to me and insisted he teach me."

"And Dad's really going to teach you how to torture people? I can't believe that."

"No," The Interrogator said. "He put limits on what he'll teach me. He said he'll teach me mental and emotional interrogation tactics only. He sees me as a child like everyone else. I'll have to get the rest of what I want on my own. That's why I'm reading this text on acupuncture. If it's done wrong it can cause inflammation and pain, and I think that adding chakra at the right time might be a useful interrogation technique. I'm going to try it on a clone later. That way I can learn how to do the technique, and when I dismiss the clone I can understand the jutsu from its point of view."

"Are you telling me you're going to torture yourself?" Kakashi asked.

"It's the only way," Ibiki said. "There's no way anyone is going to let me actually work on a prisioner until I'm older, and I certainly can't count on volunteers. I can handle it."

"So you're really making your own torture jutsus?" Kakashi asked.

"If no one will teach me, I'll figure this out myself. I might not be a genius, but I have something to accomplish, and I don't intend to let _anything _stand between me and my duty to the village. This is the only way I can serve, and I will do it."

"How does Ibiki feel about all of this?" Kakashi asked.

"He accepts it as a necessity. He knows that I'm the one in charge of this kind of training, and he lets me make those kinds of decisions. He hates your father, but he knows we need him. He won't be dealing with him much anyway. I was letting him study with me, but I'm going to keep him away from this. Your father actually reminded me that Ibiki is just a child. I'm going to try to keep him at as normal development as possible."

"And how does he feel about what we're talking about?" Kakashi asked.

"He's still asleep," The Interrogator said. "This conversation needs to stay between us. I try to keep him involved with regular training and what social life he can handle, but I don't like him dealing with such stressful things. He's not ready for it."

Kakashi looked longingly at his pillow. _I'd better find a way to get some regular sleep soon, _he thought. Even though he felt more at home at the Moreno's, it was still hard to sleep there. He wished he could sleep at Anko's place, but he'd ruined that.

"You look bad," The Interrogator said. "I meant what I said earlier. Worrying yourself out of sleeping won't help you or your comrades. Anko isn't worth this kind of stress, and it isn't helping Ibiki any to lay awake worrying about him."

"That's only part of it," Kakashi said. He was finding The Interrogator easier to talk to as the morning wore on. "I just have a lot on my mind besides those two. I've never had so much go wrong in my life, and I don't know how to make it right. I can't help my father or Ibiki much, Anko is being extra weird, my team is falling apart on me, and I've been having one particular thought that bothers me the more I have it."

"What is it?" The Interrogator asked.

Kakashi needed someone to confide in. He couldn't talk to his Dad or Jiraiya about this, and Akihiro and Ibiki were out of the question. The Interrogator might understand. At least he might listen.

"You have to keep this to yourself, right?" Kakashi asked.

"You can trust me," The Interrogator said. "We need each other enough that I'm not going to betray that trust."

"It's just that if this gets out it could cause problems," Kakashi said.

"It won't get out," The Interrogator said. "It's just you and me here. Ibiki isn't even around right now."

"I keep trying to find some way around this, but I can't get away from the fact that what my father did was wrong. I want to find some way to excuse him, but the longer I have to see the consequences of his actions the more I think he should have let his teammate die."

"That's what's been bothering you?" The Interrogator asked. "The whole village thinks that already."

"Yeah, but I'm his son. I shouldn't have such disloyal feelings."

"I don't know that logic can ever really be disloyal," The Interrogator said. "Facts are simply facts. Is that what's really keeping you awake at night?"

"Partly," Kakashi said. "It's a bigger deal than it sounds like."

"Have you tried talking to him about this?"

"I would, but he's…" Kakashi stopped. He was feeling a pull toward the solidity of The Interrogator's strength, but at the same time he didn't want to say anything The Interrogator might use again his father. He had been about to say, "frail".

"It would cause problems between us," Kakashi said. Truthfully, he remembered the awful night his father had forced him out of his own house. He still had nightmares about that night – dark dreams of wandering alone, lost and forgetting where he lived.

"And you can't talk to your uncle because he's your father's brother, or to Akihiro-san because he's Ibiki's father. Am I correct?"

"Yeah, and Asuma's not the sort of person I really talk with much. I value him; he's a good guy. We' just don't do that. And as for Gai – well, that's just out of the question. He cries, and I feel too embarrassed to go on. I would normal talk to Anko about stuff like this if I really had to talk to someone besides Dad or Oji-Jiraiya, but I fucked that up."

"I think in the end we're all in this alone," The Interrogator said, "but you're welcome to confide in me as much as you can."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. "That helps." He didn't know how much he could tell his friend's…keeper? The man was obsessed with becoming an interrogator – someone who made a living out of getting information against peoples' wills.

_Did I really want to tell him those things, or did he pull them out of me, _he wondered. He did know that he trusted The Interrogator when he said that they were comrades because of Ibiki, and even though he was afraid when he felt The Interrogator's harsh chakra he believed that he really did have good intentions for him – at least as long as Kakashi had good intentions for Ibiki.

He looked at the light coming through the blinds. The morning was half gone and he hadn't done anything. He ran his hand through gritty hair. "Seriously, where do you keep the coffee?" he asked.

"We only have instant coffee," The Interrogator said, "but it's in the shelf over the sink. You really need to get some sleep. How bad is it?"

"Another couple days like this and I'll be feeling ill," Kakashi said. "I've had insomnia before, but this is bad."

"Is it because of me?" The Interrogator asked. "Are you still having trouble sleeping here?"

"Only partly," Kakashi said. "I accept your presence, but it's hard to sleep around you. You're really intense."

"I can go somewhere else tonight. I'd try to let Ibiki keep the body so you can sleep, but we don't always control when I show up."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You didn't ask. I offered. I need you in good shape, and Ibiki has neglected the friendship of Sarutobi Asuma. That's a strong political alliance for me, and an emotional tie he needs. I'll leave you alone tonight. Call Pakkun, take one of mom's sleeping pills, and get some rest."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. "I could really use the sleep."

Kakashi made a cup and came back to the room. He took a sip of the bitter brew and decided to let it cool a bit so he could gulp it down and be done with it. He'd never really liked coffee anyway, but he needed the help this morning. His lifestyle was beginning to wear on him. His father, uncle, and even other ninjas on missions fussed at him about how he treated his body. He'd never worried much about it, figuring as long as he trained hard and ate properly he'd be fine. He couldn't deny what his body was telling him.

He put an elbow on his knee and rested his forehead on his palm. He didn't even realize he was dozing until he felt warm coffee on his bare knee. He woke, barely keeping the cup from spilling on him completely.

He heard a snort of a laugh nearby. Ibiki was watching, his honest face smirking at him.

"What the hell man?" he asked. "Just go back to bed already. You look like you haven't slept in a week."

"It's been a while," Kakashi said. "I thought I might get some good rest last night, but I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep until a couple hours before I had to be up. I have too much to do to sleep right now."

"You're not getting it done that way," Ibiki said. "Just give it up for the day. Taking one day off won't kill you."

Ibiki's reasoning was sounding more logical by the minute, and his pillow called to him. "I don't really have to be anywhere until noon," Kakashi said. "My team is training then. A couple more hours of sleep wouldn't kill me, I guess."

"You're going to get your ass kicked today if you show up like this," Ibiki said.

"Probably," Kakashi said. "It would be good for Obito to win for a change."

He lay down again, and the cool pillow felt like a luxury. _Just a couple more hours, _he thought. _I'll feel better then._

He slept fitfully, filled with ugly dreams that generally ended up with someone he loved dead and bleeding in front of him. Four hours later two things happened almost simultaneously. Kakashi felt someone shaking his shoulder roughly, and his fist struck out blindly before he realized it was Obito shaking him.

His fist connected solidly with Obito's arm, sending him backwards to land on the floor. "Why did you do that?" Obito asked.

"I thought you were an attacker," Kakashi said. "What kind of moron shakes a ninja in his sleep?"

"I thought something was wrong with you," Obito said. "You've never been two hours late for practice except for when Aunt Tomiko took you."

"Two hours? That can't be right," Kakashi said.

"Yeah. I trained with Rin. Sensei is busy today. I managed to convince her that you told me you couldn't come."

"Why did you do that?" Kakashi asked. "You've never lied to Rin before."

"I thought you might be with Anko," Obito said. "I didn't want to upset Rin."

"Well, I'm not with Anko," Kakashi said. _I wish I was with Anko, _he thought. "I told you guys that she won't be a problem anymore."

"Then what happened?" Obito asked. "This isn't like you."

Kakashi knew he meant well, but he didn't like Obito prying. "It's not your business. You're last every day. I'm late twice in my life and it's like the end of the world."

"It's just not like you," Obito said. "You shouldn't do this. You worried Rin, and…"

"Would you let it go?" Kakashi snapped. He was still exhausted, and he didn't have patience for his sniveling teammate. "I don't care if Rin was a little worried. You two are too nosy. Get lost."

"You're a real jerk, you know that?" Obito asked.

"And you're an emotional loser."

Obito stormed out, and Kakashi dragged himself into the shower. _Weights around my ankles, _he thought as he remembered Obito's unwelcome arrival. _I'd really better take care of my health better though. If Obito can sneak up on me like that an enemy could kill me easily. _He begrudgingly admitted that Obito was good at stealth. He remembered the last time Obito had decided to sneak around, and even if Tomiko had caught him he'd still done a good job.

Kakashi felt guilty at the memory of Obito loading him on his back when he was too ill to even keep his eyes open. _I should probably apologize to the loser later, _he thought. _He is just trying to help._

He had to rush through meetings and chores that he'd planned to do earlier. He snuck out to training field eight at sundown. It was when Anko trained. He hid behind some bushes and watched her practice with a clone, her graceful movements like a dance. He settled into a more comfortable position on the ground and just enjoyed watching her, feeling calmer as the day grew darker and she sat on the ground to meditate.

"You like what you see?" he heard behind him. He turned to see Anko behind him, leaning against a tree and smirking. He'd let his guard down again.

"I..um…".

"What are you doing?" she asked. Suspicion was evident on her face.

He tried to think of a good lie, but he knew he was caught. "I guess I miss you," he said.

"You were the one who broke up with me," she said.

"Yeah, but I only did it because I have to," he said.

"We're still friends," Anko said. "Come spar with me."

They fought together, and he held back a bit. Anko was good, but she wasn't quite in his league.

"You let me win!" she said.

"Just a bit," Kakashi said. "It was just a spar. The stronger partner is supposed to keep things equal for training."

"So you think you're stronger than me?" she asked.

"It's not a judgment," he said. "I'm stronger than most people in this village. I like sparring with you. You're one of the few things in my life that still makes me happy."

"Let's go sit by the lake," she said, slipping her hand into his. "It makes you feel better."

_She knows me so well_, he thought.

"That would be nice, but I can't be your boyfriend again. I want to, but I have to put the village first."

She pulled him in the direction of the lake, and he walked with her. "Friends sit by the lake and hold hands," she said.

"Do they?"

"These two do," she said.


	24. Chapter 24

Sakumo settled into a routine. He did as many missions as he had to, but when he knew he had his bills paid he spent his time with his new friends. He didn't even have to help them anymore for them to accept him as a part of their neighborhood, and he loved feeling useful again.

The time when his son would leave for the front loomed closer every day, and he tried not to think about it. Jiraiya was already out there, doing his best for his village.

_I should be out there with them,_ Sakumo thought. He'd asked if he could at least go as a Genin, if muscle if nothing else. He was told no.

Mitsuko was well, and Tadao was happy again, so he didn't have to worry about the canine part of his family. He spent too many nights trying not to think about what might happen to Kakashi out there. He feared that he would lose his son because of what he had done to cost so many other parents their own children. He would deserve it, but he couldn't imagine what he would do without his boy.

The Interrogator came by occasionally to ask him questions. Sakumo gave him what instruction he felt was safe, but the man wanted more. He always wanted more. Sakumo had been uncomfortable with him at first. As time went by he became more comfortable with his presence, but he recognized ANBU techniques at work. It was the "good cop/bad cop" way of dealing with people. The Interrogator had simply learned how to put people at ease; he was already becoming a master manipulator. As much as he wanted to be accepted by the person he'd wronged the most, Sakumo kept his distance from the Interrogator. He never forgot that he was just someone to be used by the intense man. The Interrogator hadn't called him sensei again – something he was grateful for. He thought of the sensei/student relationship as a positive one of trust and affection. Those were things the two of them definitely didn't share.

_Kakashi is too tough to die this soon, _Sakumo thought when he lay awake at night worrying about his son, but he knew it wasn't true. Younger ninjas died all the time. He wished he was religious. It would have been good to pray for his son, but he didn't have the faith to do it. He would just have to trust Kakashi to keep himself alive. This push almost had to succeed, and when Kakashi returned the war would be all but over. Then his boy would be safe, and he could finally sleep again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi saw the Interrogator more often and Ibiki less than he would have liked. He got to spar with Ibiki, but the Interrogator spent his time studying frantically.

"Shouldn't you be spending more time training?" Kakashi asked. "I know how much your studies mean to you, but it's not going to help you next week when we go out."

"I managed to convince the Interrogation Squad to let me work with them," he said. "They won't let me attend any physical sessions, but they want me to observe and participate in other aspects of the work. I don't think they're expecting much out of me, but I'm going to impress them. Maybe then they'll acknowledge me."

"And then what?" Kakashi asked. "When they've accepted you, what happens after that?"

"Then I work my way up through the ranks. I'll become a Jounin. There aren't many non-Uchihas in the police force, but I'll fit in with them. I want to be head of the Interrogation Squad some day. I'll be the best interrogator Konoha's ever known, and I'll help my village in ways none of my predecessors ever did."

"Do you want to know why I quit ANBU?" Kakashi asked. "I quit because I saw too much; I did too many things that were horrible. My last mission with them involved killing a child – a little innocent girl. I still dream about her sometimes."

"I'm stronger than you emotionally," The Interrogator said.

"No, you're a separate part of Ibiki that he made because he can't deal with the world yet," Kakashi said. "Don't forget that. You're a bit of him – a fragment. If you really have any emotions you'll be eaten up by what you've chosen to do. I don't want to see that happen."

"Are you actually worried about me instead of Ibiki?" The Interrogator asked. "I'm touched."

"Are you?" Kakashi asked. "Can anyone touch you?"

"You know me," The Interrogator said. "No one else does. So yes, I can feel something when I know that you actually care for me."

"Is this new?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes," The Interrogator said. "It wasn't what I was made for. I don't intend to let such feelings develop with other people."

"Well, we are brothers," Kakashi said.

"I suppose you have two brothers now," The Interrogator said.

"I think you might become your own person slowly," Kakashi said. "Be careful that if you become whole you aren't ruined by what you're obsessed with."

"I'll think about it," Ibiki said. "I never thought that I might need to moderate myself in this, but it might need to happen. I've set my path in life, but I'll make sure I'm the kind of person the village can be proud of."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The day before Kakashi had to leave was a flurry of activity. He had to prepare for his mission and help some of the Jounin with their own preparations. It was after nightfall before he could try to find Anko. He went to the training field at eight, but she was nowhere to be found.

_Damn her inconsistency, _he thought. It was the only time and place he might regularly find her, and even then it was a crap-shoot if she'd be there or not.

He gave up and went home to the Morinos'. He couldn't leave for the front without saying goodbye to his father. If he had to choose between his father and Anko, he would always choose his father – or so he hoped.

Anko was waiting for him in his room. She was sitting at his desk with her feet on the desk. Ibiki was talking her, but Kakashi felt no jealousy. He knew both Ibiki and The Interrogator well enough by now to know they would never betray him.

"I didn't want to leave without seeing you," she said. "Scram," she said to Ibiki.

"Don't tell me to scram in my own house!" Ibiki said. "I wish Kakashi had better taste in girls."

Anko looked around the room. "I wish he had better taste in furnishings – and friends."

Kakashi saw Ibiki change into The Interrogator. "You should mind your tongue, girl. It might get cut out someday if you don't."

Anko stopped, shocked by what she was seeing.

"Let's go," Kakashi said. "We'll talk at your place. Wait for me there; I need to talk to Ibiki first."

After she left Kakashi said, "I'm sorry about that. I know you two don't like each other."

"She's already a harsh girl," The Interrogator said. "She's going to be an icy woman."

"You only see that side of her. Most of the village does. She's not really like that."

"She bothers me and Ibiki," The Interrogator said. "I can handle her, but you need to be careful. That one leads you around by a string. Think with your brain – not your dick."

"I don't want to argue before we leave," Kakashi said. "I'll tell her not to come over again. You two aren't that different. She has her own soft person she hides underneath that tough bitch exterior."

"I'm sure she does," The Interrogator said dryly. "And it doesn't help that she wears a fishnet shirt and stockings, does it?"

"Well, a nice present in a pretty package is even better than just a nice present," Kakashi said, grinning.

"Don't let her come between you and your friends," The Interrogator said.

It wasn't until he left for Anko's that Kakashi realized that The Interrogator had been solely interested in his well-being. In the past he'd been concerned for Kakashi because he affected Ibiki, but now they had a friendship in their own right.

Anko was waiting for him, and he noticed that the way she sat showed more leg than usual. He'd been working hard to avoid thinking about her for weeks now, and he'd assumed she'd been avoiding him.

"I'm glad you wanted to find me," Kakashi said, "but you upset Ibiki. I know you're a better person than that. Why do you always have to antagonize people?"

She shrugged. "I don't do that to everyone. I like Gai, and Asuma. Kurenai is ok most days."

"Could you try to be a little nicer to my friends?" Kakashi asked.

"I'll try," she said. "Ibiki isn't so bad. I just like to mess with him. I'll tone it down – for you."

"Thanks," he said. "This isn't how I wanted to spend my last night here," he said. "Who knows if we'll come back?"

"Yeah," she said. "Let's go for a walk together. Do you want to go down to the lake again?"

"I don't have that kind of time," Kakashi said. "I've been too busy today, and I still need to go say goodbye to Dad."

"Can I come with you?" she asked.

"Why?" Kakashi asked. "You've never even met him before."

"I just want to," she said. "I have something I need to say to him. It will make him feel better."

"If you want," Kakashi said.

She held his hand as they walked to his father's house, and he rubbed it with his thumb. "When we come back things will be different. I promise."

"I know," she said.

Sakumo answered the door and hugged Kakashi. "Come in," he said. "You didn't bother with a henge this time."

"This is the biggest mission I've ever been a part of," Kakashi said. "I want the village to know that I'm seeing you. I'm not ashamed to be your son. I'll use a henge when I come back if you insist, but for tonight I'm not going to hide."

"Follow your own sense of honor then," his father said.

He turned to Anko. "Hello Anko," he said, noticing that she had taken Kakashi's hand again.

"I wanted to come say goodbye too," she said. "I know we haven't really met, but I needed to talk to you about something."

"Why don't you two sit down and I'll make us something to eat?" he asked.

Kakashi and Anko sat on the couch, and Kakashi thought that his old home looked so different he almost had trouble recognizing the place. The house smelled like dog, and it was messier than he remembered. Clothes lay strewn about, and dog hair covered the dark couch.

"I don't usually eat over here very much," Sakumo said from the kitchen. "I only have ramen right now, but I have some sesame oil. It makes it much better."

"Where have you been eating?" Kakashi asked.

"I've been working in a poor area," Sakumo said. "They've taken me in, and I usually end up eating with one of the families."

"I'm glad you found people that accept you," Kakashi said.

"It makes things better," Sakumo said. "I'm thinking about moving in with a couple old ladies over there. They've invited me several times, and I'm not able to see the dogs enough moving back and forth like I am."

"Where are the dogs?" Kakashi asked.

"They're out walking. Tadao convinced Mitsuko to go out. She's nervous, because she gets sick. It's good for her though. They should be back soon."

"I hope so," Kakashi said. "I'd like Anko to meet them."

Kakashi talked to his father as long as he could, playing with the dogs when they came home.

_I'm glad they like Anko, _he thought.

He finally had to leave. "I have to get some sleep tonight," he said.

"Wait outside for me," Anko said. "I want to talk to your father."

Sakumo was curious. _Such a serious little girl, _he thought. _All of our children are too serious right now._

"I just wanted you to know something," she said. "Don't tell Kakashi, because he doesn't know, but I love him a lot. I'm going to make sure he comes home. I thought it might help you to know that while he's gone."

"Thank you sweetie," Sakumo said. "Come back safely yourself. I'm glad that he has someone to love him."

Kakashi was waiting for her outside. "What was that about?" he asked.

"It's personal," she said. "Don't worry about it."

He walked her home. "Come in for awhile," she said.

"I really need to get back to the Morinos'," he said.

"Do you have things to prepare?" she asked.

"Not really," he said, "but they'll worry about me."

She rolled her eyes. "Idiot. That's what you have summons for."

He felt silly for not thinking of it himself. He summoned Pakkun. "Tell Ibiki I'm staying with Anko. I don't know when I'll be home." He glanced at Anko and whispered, "tell him I won't let this cause problems. He'll understand."

Pakkun looked at Anko. "Don't get in over your head, pup." He loped away on his mission.

Anko pulled him onto the bed, and they sat there together, holding hands. Kakashi felt his hand grow sweaty. Like before, something that he'd done countless times meant more with Anko.

"Stay here tonight," Anko said. "If I don't come back, I want as much time with you as I can have first."

"You'll come back," he said. "We both will."

"I hope you're right," she said, "but still, stay with me."

"I'm going to change for bed," she said. He turned and let her change into pajamas with flowers – something he wouldn't have imagined her wearing.

"I don't have anything to sleep in," he said.

"I've seen you in your shorts before," she said. "Just think of it like you were sleeping in the field."

He knew his boxers were modest enough, but he still felt embarrassed, and he jumped into bed quickly. She lay beside him, putting her head on his shoulder.

"I like you without your mask," she said. "I wish I could see your face more often."

He moved toward her, finally brave enough to kiss her.

"No," she said. "Friends don't kiss."

"When we come back…" he said.

"When we come back," she whispered.

They lay like that until morning, and he changed in his mind and became a Jounin of the village. His mission mattered – nothing else.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: Obito is always going to be a hero to me. I loved Tobito theories before Madara showed up in the manga. Ugh. I hate the current story arc, and I want him to have died bravely protecting his friends. Also, I'm updating the warnings for character death. I forgot to put that in there, not just for Obito but for something that has to happen in later chapters.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Sakumo tried to eat Ume's odd porridge concoction, but his stomach couldn't handle it. He moved the bland food around his bowl with his spoon. Even at the best of times Ume's food was barely palatable, but he tried to eat what was given to him out of respect.

"Are you feeling ok, Sakumo-kun?" Ume asked.

"Not so much, Grandmother. Kakashi is out there fighting somewhere, and I'm stuck in the village. I should be out there protecting Konoha, but I'm not even trusted enough to take the lowest missions on the battlefield."

She patted his hand. "Kakashi will come home, and you can be at rest. I've had a lot of bad times in my life, and they all end eventually. How long will he be gone?"

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "It could be a couple weeks or months. I'm hoping it won't be long."

"Eat at least ten bites of food," Ume said. "Then you can leave the table. That's what I used to tell my youngest when he was little. After dinner you can help me with the crossword. I can't find some of them, and it will get your mind off your problems."

"Yes, Grandmother," he said.

"When Sister gets back we can start setting up your room. When are you bringing the dogs over?"

"After we're set up," Sakumo said. "I want them to be as comfortable as possible. Mitsuko is old, and she doesn't handle changes well. I don't want her to have another seizure if we can help it."

Ume chuckled. "Old women have our difficulties. We'll look after her."

"It will be good for her to be with more people. She'll like you; I'm sure," Sakumo said.

"Dogs like me," she said. "I'll make her some cookies tonight. Tadao seems to like them."

"She has to eat dog food for her health," Sakumo said quickly. It was bad enough that he and Tadao had to keep medicine for a sour stomach on hand because of Ume's cooking. He wanted to spare Mitsuko that problem.

They finished the crossword, and he went home early. He'd come over to work, but he really wanted to be alone. Kakashi filled his mind.

It was only mid-morning, but he went to bed. He wanted to forget his son's danger for a time.

Tadao jumped on the bed. He didn't even bother to ask for permission anymore. _I'm not really his master anymore, _Sakumo thought. His household was getting away from him. Dogs knew when a man lost his confidence, and nin dogs required a strong will to keep them in line. If he wasn't careful Tadao might become the Alpha in their house.

"What's wrong?" Tadao asked. "I can feel how upset you are."

"I'm worried about Kakashi," Sakumo said. "It's going to be the longest time of my life until he comes home."

"I'll sleep with you if you need me to," Tadao said. "Let me go tell Mitsuko."

"I have a better idea," Sakumo said. He pulled the blankets off his bed and took them to where Mitsuko was sleeping. He made a nest of blankets by the dogs' bed and lay next to Mitsuko. He had pulled Kakashi's stuffed dog off the dresser and hidden it, tucking it under the sheets with him. He didn't care if it was silly; it made him feel better.

Mitsuko raised her head. "What's going on?" she asked groggily.

"I'm sleeping in here tonight," Sakumo said.

Tadao crawled between him and Mitsuko. Sakumo still didn't rest well because of his dreams, but their company was a comfort to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several days later Kakashi lay near his sensei, recuperating. His eye was replaced, and Obito was dead.

_How did it all go so wrong? _He wondered, but he knew. It was all his fault.

_If I'd listened to Obito in the first place he'd still be alive, _Kakashi thought.

"Can you still fight?" Minato asked.

"I have to," Kakashi said. "I can't go home now. We're almost ready for the final offensive, and I'm needed."

"I'm splitting you and Rin up," Minato said. "She'll be sent west to help with the mobile hospital, and you'll be coming with me to help take a fortified position to the north."

"Did she ask you to split us up?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes," Minato said. "She's having a hard time with all this. You have to understand."

"She blames me for his death," Kakashi said.

"No. She blames herself. She thinks if she'd been stronger he wouldn't have died. She's afraid she'll get you killed too. I'm splitting you two up because I think you'll just distract each other. She told me that Obito asked you to look after her. This isn't the time for such things. She needs to be free to be a healer without leaning on you unnecessarily, and you need to be free to fight without having to worry about her."

"I promised Obito I would protect her," Kakashi said.

"She doesn't need it where she's going," Minato said. "It's not near the front lines at the moment. She's a ninja, Kakashi. She can't be protected forever, even if she is a Genin. She has to learn to protect herself without leaning on the men in her life."

They sat quietly watching Rin, who was standing nearby looking toward the bridge they'd destroyed. She'd avoided speaking to Kakashi unless necessary since Obito died.

"I really fucked up, didn't I?" Kakashi asked.

"You finished the mission," Minato said. "What happened with Obito was horrible, but people die in war. You've had comrades die before. You'll have comrades die again. It's part of the life you'll have to get used to. I grieve for him myself, but we can't let it interfere with our duty."

"I've never lost anyone like this," Kakashi said. "It's never been my fault before."

"From what Rin told me Obito pushed you out of the way. If he chose to sacrifice himself for you that's not your fault. Don't cheapen his brave deed this way."

They moved on without Rin, and Kakashi had to put his private hell aside. _This isn't as bad as half of the things I did in ANBU, _he thought. _I'm getting soft. _But he'd never cared much about any of his comrades in ANBU personally, and none of them had died while they were on missions with him. More importantly, none of them had sacrificed themselves for him.

He'd been irritated at Obito, caustic toward him, and sometimes outright hateful, but he missed him. _I wish I'd done more to get to know him better. He was a true hero. _He remembered Obito saying that his father was a hero. Now he understood why. In the heat of battle it was comrades that had mattered most. They hadn't been thinking of the village when they went back for Rin, and it felt right.

_I'll have to talk to Dad if I get home, _he thought. _He needs to know how I feel. He was a hero the whole time, but I only just now understand why he saved Tsume._

They reached the attack point, and before they joined the other ninjas Minato asked him, "are you with me fully, Kakashi? I need to know."

Kakashi summoned the inner strength that had gotten him through his ANBU missions. He became Inu again – a hard, cold killer. Unlike Ibiki he could put that side of himself away and become Kakashi again. He suspected that most ninjas dealt with the horror of war this way to some extent.

"I'm ready, sensei," he said. "Let's go."

He fought well, using the Sharingan as best he could. He couldn't use it as a weapon like the Uchihas – yet. He could see chakra plainly though, and it was as if he knew where people were going to move. He could analyze their movements and be there before they even knew what he was doing.

He had to work with several Uchihas. When they finished with their mission they pulled Kakashi aside.

"How do you have a Sharingan now?" a woman with blood on her face asked. Kakashi didn't know her. He didn't know any of them. Five Uchihas surrounded him, arms crossed and judging him harshly before they even knew what had happened.

"Did you know Uchiha Obito?" Kakashi asked.

They shook their heads. He wasn't surprised. They might be related, but there were hundreds of Uchihas, and until the end Obito hadn't stood out in any way.

"He was my teammate," Kakashi said. "He died saving my life, and the last thing he did was tell the medic with me to transplant his eye. I didn't want to do it, but he insisted."

"Uchihas don't do things like that," an older man said. "No Uchiha would willingly let a Sharingan go to a non-Uchiha." Those dark eyes held more malice than Kakashi had ever seen.

"That Uchiha did," Kakashi said. "He was the kindest, most generous person I've ever known, and he's a great loss – for the village and for me."

"We'll be talking to you more when we return to Konoha," the old man said.

"My teammate was there too," Kakashi said. "She'll collaborate my story."

"We'll be speaking with her too then. If we find out you stole that eye you'll have hell to pay."

"You'll find out nothing like that," Kakashi said. "You have no right to accuse me of anything."

"We'll see," the old man said.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo checked the list of the dead every day. There was always a line as soon as it was posted, and he waited until it dwindled until he took his turn. He had to watch people deal with new grief, and once an old woman turned around after looking at the list and put her head into his chest and sobbed. She probably didn't even know who she'd turned to for comfort – just another Konoha citizen. He never even saw her face clearly. She kept her head down, weighed heavily with grief.

She walked away, still crying, and Sakumo turned to the list again. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Tsume – all the other people he cared for were still alive. It wasn't quite a miracle. All of his friends were insanely strong. He still looked for the names of those that had been important to him and abandoned him. It still mattered to him if they were alive or dead.

The next morning someone knocked at his door. He stood in the middle of his living room, frozen in place. _This is it, _he thought. _Someone I loved died._

"Aren't you going to get that?" Mitsuko asked.

"No," Sakumo said. "I can't."

Tadao put his nose against Sakumo's hand. "Bad news doesn't go away. It will just get worse if you wait."

"Open up, Shithead!" he heard Jiraiya yell from outside.

He threw open the door. Jiraiya was filthy and covered with small cuts and bandages, but he was alive. "I'm so glad you're back," Sakumo said.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Jiraiya said. "You should go down to the hospital though. Kakashi…"

Sakumo was out the door and racing down the street at top speed before Jiraiya could even finish the sentence.

"Sakumo wait!" he heard behind him, but he didn't stop. Civilians and ninjas alike had to get out of his way as he tore through the village toward the hospital.

The hospital was a madhouse. There were too many injured ninjas incoming for them to keep up with, and he had to work hard to get to an information desk.

"My son was brought in," he said. "Can you tell me anything?"

"And you are?" the nurse behind the desk asked. He'd seen that type of look before. She must have been someone else who he'd wronged.

"You know damn well who I am! The whole village knows who I am. I don't have time for this. Where is my boy?"

"Do you mean Hatake Kakashi?" she asked. "He was brought in earlier, but I'm afraid he passed away. I'm sorry for your loss."

"What? No. It can't be." Sakumo said. He suddenly felt cold and weak.

The nurse smiled at him, her eyes bright and happy. "He had a poisoned kunai wound to the arm. It would have been minor, except that no one could reach him in time. It seems that some intell had been lost that might have saved him. It was the same way my son died."

"No," Sakumo moaned. His son had finally paid the full price for his own sins.

"Yes," she said. "They said he suffered horribly for a day and called for his father almost until he died. But of course you weren't there, were you?"

"Kashi-kun," Sakumo whispered. "I might as well have killed you."

He began to breathe in fast gasps, and his chest hurt. "What's wrong Sakumo-san?" the nurse asked. "Will you finally kill yourself and rid the village of your stench?"

He heard voices around him as if they were far away, and black spots formed in his vision. "He's hyperventilating," he heard a male voice say. "Make room for him to lie down. Try to breathe more slowly, Sakumo-san."

He couldn't slow his breathing, and he collapsed, hoping for nothing more than death.

He woke on a cot in a hallway, surrounded by other patients who weren't in critical condition. The hospital was full to bursting, and the hallway had been appropriated. Kakashi was standing over him, with a worried look on his face and his forehead protector pulled down over one eye. Jiraiya stood behind him.

"What happened?" Kakashi asked. "They told me you collapsed in the lobby. Did you really have a panic attack and faint?"

Sakumo jumped up from the cot, grabbing Kakashi roughly and pulling his son to him as tightly as he could.

"My boy," he said, "Oh, my precious boy." He held Kakashi's head against his chest with one hand and his back with the other. He never wanted to let go. "They told me you were dead."

He began to sob, unable to stop himself. He closed his eyes so he didn't have to see the judgmental looks of the people in the hallway. Kakashi tried to pull away, but Sakumo pulled him closer.

"Just let me hold you for a minute," Sakumo said.

"You might let the boy breathe," Jiraiya said.

He let Kakashi pull away slightly, but he kept a strong hold on Kakashi's arms, unwilling to release him.

"What the hell, Dad? I was injured, but I'm going to be fine. They just wanted me to come in for observation. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing now," Sakumo said. "It's been hell waiting for you to come home, and then I was told you were dead. I guess I just lost it."

"I'm going to take you home, Sakumo," Jiraiya said.

"No, we'll take him home together," Kakashi said. "Don't argue," he said to his father. "I have obligations, but I can spend some time with you first."

"Same here," Jiraiya said. "I didn't know how much of a wreck you were."

Sakumo kept glancing sideways at Kakashi on the way home. He just wanted to enjoy the sight of his living son. "You look sad," he said.

"Obito died," Kakashi said. "It's my fault, and now he's dead. Rin blames herself and now she's not on my team anymore. There is no more Team Minato."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sakumo said. "I really liked that boy."

After making sure he didn't see any Uchihas nearby Kakashi pulled up his forehead protector and showed his father the Sharingan. "I had my eye sliced through, and the last thing Obito did was to have Rin put his eye in mine."

"It's actually working?" Sakumo asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "The Uchihas are pissed. There's going to be an investigation."

Kakashi thought Sakumo's house smelled even more like dog than before. He saw the bedding by the dogs' bed.

"Dad, have you gone feral?"

Sakumo scratched the back of his head and grinned. "Maybe a little bit," he said. "I feel better sleeping with the dogs. It gets lonely around here."

"I can't move back in until I'm sure Ibiki will be ok, but I can come over more often," Kakashi said.

"No. I still think our arrangement is best. I know you love me, and that helps. Let me take care of you in one of the few ways I can. I'm still treated badly, and I don't want you caught up in that."

"I'm not going to be in town for long," Jiraiya said, "but I'll come see you as much as I can. I dare you to try to talk me out of it."

"Thank you brother," Sakumo said. "I'm moving out of here soon, but I'll make sure you have my new address."

"Me too!" Kakashi said.

"You too," Sakumo said. "I know you'll just hunt until you find me if I don't."

"You taught me to be persistent," Kakashi said.

"You might have learned a little too well," Sakumo said.

"Have either of you heard anything about Anko?" Kakashi asked. "I've been asking, but no one knows anything."

"I know she was part of planning an ambush," Jiraiya said. "I haven't heard anything else."

"I check the dead list every day," Sakumo said. "She hasn't been on it."

Jiraiya left them alone. "You two have catching up to do," he said. He grabbed Sakumo's head into the crook of his elbow and rubbed his knuckles into his head. "Try not to be such a shithead, ok?"

Jiraiya slammed the door on the way out, but Sakumo knew he wasn't angry. He was just like that. Everything he did had to be loud and noticeable.

Kakashi fiddled, something Sakumo knew meant he was about to ask him an awkward question. "Did you ever have to look for Mom on the dead list?" he asked.

"Once. It was one of the worst times in my life. Until that nurse told me you were dead I thought her death was the worst and that was the second worst. Now I have a whole new day to add to that list."

"I promised Anko things," Kakashi said. "I made her sad before I left and I want to make things better. I don't know what I'll do if I lose her _and_ Obito. I've heard about my other friends, but not her. When she comes back I'm going to be her boyfriend again."

"If you haven't heard anything that might just mean she has a classified mission," Sakumo said. "War is chaotic. She might have just been misplaced. It does happen."

Kakashi paled. "You mean her body might have been lost?"

_Fuck, _Sakumo thought. _I didn't mean to turn his thoughts that direction. _"No. I meant she might be out there fighting without us knowing where she went. It does happen. She's probably fine. She's a strong girl."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "She's probably fine." His voice didn't sound confident.

"Try to turn your mind to something else," Sakumo said. "When is the last time you ate? Do you want me to make something?"

"I don't have time," Kakashi said. "I have Jounin duties, and I need to check on the Morinos and make sure they're ok. I'll be back later. I did want to tell you that I understand what you did. Obito was right; you are a hero."

Tears began to roll down Sakumo's face again. He wiped them away. "I'm sorry," he said. "I guess I haven't been very stable since I came back. I'll get better."

"It's ok Dad. I don't know that I could do any better. We almost failed the mission because Obito and I went back for Rin, and it's only because Sensei showed up that we were able to finish it at all. If it weren't for Sensei I would be facing the same problem. We really needed to destroy that bridge, but all we could think about was Rin."

Sakumo stopped Kakashi on the porch and hugged him again, not caring that Kakashi squirmed uncomfortably this time. "I'm so glad you're alive," Sakumo said.

He kissed his son on the forehead.

"Dad, don't!" Kakashi said, turning bright red. "You're embarrassing me!"

"I think that's part of what parents are supposed to do," Sakumo said.

"I'll be back when I can," Kakashi said. "If anyone comes by, make sure you ask about Anko for me."

Sakumo went to visit the sisters and told them the good news. They hugged him and cried, and then they forced some unidentifiable baked good on him. It might have been fruitcake. He wasn't sure.

The neighborhood heard about Kakashi quickly, and everyone there seemed to want to congratulate Sakumo. Ume pulled out a bottle of rum. "I use this when I bake," she said. "I think this is a good occasion for it."

"I've never tasted rum in your cooking," Sakumo said.

Rei grinned, her broken yellow teeth showing prominently. "She doesn't put it in the food. She puts it in herself."

_That might help explain why her cooking is so bad, _Sakumo thought. He let himself get mildly drunk with the two old women.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The village was alive in an entirely new way with their ninjas returning home, and Kakashi made his way to the Morinos with a mixture of relief to be home and a heavy stone in his soul the shape of his missing teammate.

Mother Morino was waiting for him. "My baby's home!" she said, and Ashihiro chuckled behind her.

"Welcome back, boy," he said. "Ibiki sent word he'll be home in a few days. I'm glad this is almost over. We still have some clean-up and restructuring, but the worst is definitely over."

"Have you heard anything about Anko?" Kakashi asked, even though he didn't know any reason they might have. He just hoped that someone had some news.

"Ibiki sent a letter home with a comrade. He said to tell you she was working with him. Her unit and his met up after her mission, and she was part of protecting the interrogators while they worked. It wasn't planned, so I'm not surprised you haven't heard anything."

"I'm so glad to hear that," Kakashi said. He wasn't sure if Anko or The Interrogator was stronger, but even if they didn't like each other they took comradery so seriously he felt safer knowing they were together. He didn't feel the slightest sting of jealousy. Two of the people he cared about were probably safe.

"You're really taken with that girl, aren't you?" Akihiro asked.

"I can't imagine life without her," Kakashi said.

The old man laughed. "Well, I know you have adult responsibilities, but try to just be a kid for a while and enjoy being with her."

"I can't wait," Kakashi said. "I told her I could be her boyfriend again when we came back."

"That's so adorable," Mother Morino said, ruffling his hair. He patted his hair back in place, but he couldn't help but smile.

"I know you're just seven," Akihiro said, "but I think it's time we had a serious conversation later. You're young for it, but I think you might be a very – erm - active boy when you get a little older, and you need to know some things."

Kakashi had no idea what he was talking about.

"So what are you doing with the forehead protector?" Akihiro asked. "Is that some kind of new fashion?"

"I was injured," Kakashi said. "I'm using it to cover my eye."

"Oh no!" Mother said. "How bad is it? Do you need to lie down?"

"No, I'm fine," Kakashi said quickly. He didn't want to worry her. "I've been healed. My teammate Obito died, and before he went he had Rin transplant his eye. I feel like I'm carrying a part of him with me now."

"It doesn't hurt then?" Mother asked.

"A little, but it's nothing I can't handle," Kakashi said. "It gets better by the day."

"Let me see," Akihiro said.

"Er, will it bother you?" Kakashi asked Mother.

"I've seen injuries before," she said. "Don't forget who my other son is. He was always coming home with something cut or broken. He overreached himself too often."

Kakashi pulled the headband up and activated the Sharingan.

Akihiro put his finger under Kakashi's eye, pulling down slightly so more of it was visible.

"That's going to cause you problems with the Uchihas," he said.

"It already is," Kakashi said. He replaced the headband. "They're going to investigate, but Rin will back me up, and if it comes to an interrogation they won't find anything other than a very brave Uchiha doing one last thing for his teammate."

He stopped as the memory came back to him. Obito's crushed face and his broken teeth would never leave him. He could smell the blood his internal injuries had forced out of his mouth and the excrement as Obito's body voided itself in death.

"Mother, leave us alone now, please" Akihiro said.

They went to the porch, that place where they could be men together and Kakashi could learn from him.

"Are you ok boy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Kakashi said, but he wasn't. He'd put bad missions behind him before, but there were a few that haunted him, and he thought this one might be the worst he'd ever had.

"You had the look just then," Akihiro said. "I know it when I see it."

"What look, sir?" Kakashi asked.

"We call it the thousand-yard-stare," Akihiro said. "Men who have seen some seriously bad things get it. It helps some people to talk about what happened."

"Obito died badly," Kakashi said. "He suffered a lot, and I just had to watch. He pushed me out of the way of a boulder and took the hit, and we couldn't do anything for him."

Kakashi touched the headband over his eye. "I don't deserve this. He should be alive. He was a better person than I could ever be."

"That's survivor's guilt," Akihiro said. "You'll have to deal with it in your own way. Try to remember that Obito wanted you to have a good life."

"Thank you sir," Kakashi said. He didn't feel like talking anymore. The memory had brought his raw feelings to the surface again. "I think I'd like to be alone," he said.

"I understand," Akihiro said. "I've lost my share of comrades. Grieve as you need to. Just know that your family will be there when you need us."

Kakashi helped Akihiro up and then sat quietly and alone on the porch, watching Konoha move around him. Even with the bustle of the returning army it seemed so peaceful after the war. It was hard to believe that this was reality, and not what he'd just come from.

_I understand how Ibiki must have felt, _he thought. He'd never been so affected by a mission since that little girl.

He shut that thought out sharply. One shit-storm in his life was enough for the moment.

He felt exhaustion threatening him, and he actually had to open the Heart Gate momentarily to get the energy to start working again. He had to do a mountain of paperwork, help organize the returning ninjas and see the Hokage to report personally about Obito and his Sharingan. He needed rest, but he couldn't stop until he was done.

"They Uchiha clan is already up in arms about this," Sarutobi said. "I know your character enough to believe you, but you'll have to convince them of your innocence."

"They can interrogate me themselves if they want," Kakashi said. "They can even use invasive genjutsu. I have no reason to fear what they might find. They'll probably be ashamed when they see how brave Obito was. No one thought much of him. We were all wrong."

"You might want to be careful before you agree voluntarily to let them interrogate you," Sarutobi said. "They probably won't be gentle with you. They're furious about this."

"Let them come," Kakashi said, anger rising in him. "They have no right to suspect me, and I can take whatever they can dish out."

He proceeded with the rest of his report, becoming more aware of the aches and tiredness in his body as he did. Even soldier pills and the Heart Gate couldn't hold off the need for rest and recuperation forever.

He suddenly felt all his energy fade from him, and he sat in a chair without being invited. It was something no one did in the Hokage's presence. All ninjas stood out of respect.

"Give me a minute please," Kakashi said.

"Take some time," Sarutobi said. "Do you need to lie down in the back? You look bad."

"I just need a bit of time sir," Kakashi said, but he wasn't sure he was right. He heard the weakness in his own voice, and he felt dizzy. He closed his eyes and fought to stay conscious. _I can't pass out in front of the Hokage, _he thought. He didn't need one more thing to be ashamed of.

He heard the scrape of the Hokage's chair, and then his arm was on Kakashi's shoulder. "Put your head between your knees," the old man said. "Breathe evenly and try to relax."

He kept a hand on Kakashi's back until he was able to sit upright again. "There's a day-bed in the room behind me," Sarutobi said. "Go lie down for at least an hour."

"I still have things to do," Kakashi said.

"What exactly is left for you to do that can't wait until tomorrow?"

Kakashi told him the rest of his duties.

"I'll have those re-assigned," Sarutobi said. "You are to rest for an hour here. Then I want you to go home, eat, and get some proper sleep. You aren't to do anything else until tomorrow."

"But…"

"No buts," the Hokage said. "These are your orders for the day, ninja. You're the one the nurses complain about the most when I visit the hospital. It's an honor to sacrifice your body for Konoha. There's no honor in doing it needlessly."

Kakashi felt mortified when the old man had to help him to the couch. "I'm sorry for what happened to you out there, but I want you to know I'm proud of you," Sarutobi said.

When Kakashi woke it was dark outside. Someone had removed most of his clothes while he slept, leaving his pants on but taking off the rest of what he was wearing. A blanket had been pulled up over his face, covering the area usually hidden by his mask.

_I can't believe I slept through that, _he thought.

He dressed and found the Hokage at his desk, working on paperwork.

"How long was I in there?" Kakashi asked.

"About six hours," Sarutobi said, not looking up from his work. "I contacted Akihiro and let him know you were with me so he wouldn't worry. You should listen to your old Hokage. I know what I'm talking about, don't I?"

"Yes sir," Kakashi said.

"I thought you'd be up in an hour or two," the Hokage said. "I sent for a medic-nin, and you didn't even wake up while you were being examined. She said you're exhausted and malnourished. Apparently the only way you took care of yourself was to stay hydrated. I'm changing my orders. You're to stay at home for two days. You can check the dead list if you need to, or you can visit friends _briefly, _but I know you well enough to know you won't take care of your body without orders."

"It's important to me that the adults don't have to carry more burdens because of me," Kakashi said. "I don't want them to think of me as just a little kid."

"No Jounin or ANBU has thought of you as _just_ a little kid since you were about four or five," the Hokage said. "You don't have as much to prove as you think you do. Reports reached me from the battlefield about you. They said you were at the front of several battles and saved a lot of lives. I heard that you fought ferociously. You're being talked about in the village enough that no one is going to hold it against you if you can't keep up the pace. We only see the child in you when you do things like this to yourself. Adult ninjas know how to take care of their bodies better – well, most of them do anyway."

He set aside the pile of papers he'd been working on, and he pulled a new chunk off the top of the massive stack near him. "I'll send someone around in the morning to get a list of what you were going to do the next couple days. There are plenty of ninjas in better shape that can do those duties. We have non-combat ninjas and assistants for a reason."

He looked up from his paperwork. "I can put you on house arrest if I need to, but I hope you'll be mature enough to obey orders. Do I need to have an ANBU check on you occasionally, or will you behave?"

Kakashi felt his cheeks redden with embarrassment. "I'll follow orders," he said.

"I meant what I said earlier," Sarutobi said. "The whole village has been talking about the reports that come back, and you figured in a lot of them. I know how you feel about your father, and you should know that you've gone a long way toward redeeming the Hatake name. Your village and your Hokage are proud of you."

It was a bit of bright light in his day. Mother had a cold dinner waiting for him, and once he began eating he felt ravenous. She'd made soba noodles and vegetables, and he didn't think anything had ever tasted so good.

"My goodness!" she said. "You were a hungry boy!"

Despite what he'd said to the Hokage he liked that Mother just saw him as a child. No one needed to know that though.

He felt every ache as he pulled the covers over him, but he was at least at peace temporarily. He called Pakkun and arranged the blankest so his feet would be warm in the chilly room.

"I'm glad you're home again," Pakkun said. "What happened to your eye?"

"I'll explain later," Kakashi said.

He was still tired, but he had rested enough that the voices in the living room a few hours later woke him. He hoped it was one of his friends, but he heard a man he didn't recognize. He had to strain to hear the voice.

"The Hokage wanted me to check on him," he heard. "He's concerned about Kakashi's health. He almost passed out earlier."

"I'm not surprised," Akihiro said. "He has an adult mind trapped in a child's body. Mother and I will take good care of him."

"Did he eat and sleep? The Hokage specifically told me to find out. His interest in Kakashi is personal as well as professional. He thinks a lot of him. A lot of us do."

"He ate more than I've ever seen him eat," Akihiro said, "and he's asleep now. I did notice his hand was shaking when he ate, but that should get better with some down-time."

"He's on orders to stay here for the next two days unless he wants to check the dead list or visit friends," the stranger said.

"I'll make sure he follows those orders," Akihiro said. "Thank you, CAT."

_So he did send an ANBU to check on me, _Kakashi thought. He should have been irritated, but it was nice to think that the Hokage cared about him that much.


	26. Chapter 26

When Kakashi woke he felt better – sore, but better. He checked the dead list, and after being assured that no one he cared about personally had been reported he went by Anko's apartment. He snuck in through the back door to avoid her landlord. Someone had broken in, and no one had even bothered to fix the door.

Anko had always been messy, but now her things were smashed and thrown around. Kakashi cleaned up, putting anything breakable that the robbers had missed in a backpack of hers to take with him for safe-keeping.

Her books were strewn all over the small room, and a few of them were ruined. They stank of urine.

_Why do people hate Anko so much? _Kakashi wondered. He knew, but it was something he could only understand with his mind – not his heart. _Orochimaru's betrayal wasn't her fault. How could someone do this to a ninja out there protecting them?_

He collected the rest of her books and made note of which ones had been ruined. There wasn't much that was salvageable, so he threw the rest away, noticing what was missing for later.

Her clothes were a complete loss. He salvaged a couple pairs of pants and one shirt, but the rest were covered with urine. He opened the bathroom to see what the damage was, and he was even more disgusted with her intruders. They had left a pile of shit in her bathtub.

_This was personal, _he thought. Her comforter had been ripped to shreds, and her bed smelled like it was soaked in urine too.

_I hope she makes Jounin soon, _Kakashi thought. Usually a Chunin could have afforded better, but Anko always got charged more everywhere she shopped. _Orochimaru is still fucking up her life, _Kakashi thought. At least with Jounin pay she could afford a safer place, even if she did get overcharged.

He knew he was supposed to be home, but he thought that he could probably get away with a few chores. He went to the book-store and got the text books that had been ruined, and then to the hardware store for a some boards.

It took him longer than he had thought it would to get the things Anko needed. He finally had to go to a clothing store, and he loitered outside, embarrassed.

When he got the nerve to go in he was overwhelmed they the girlishness of the place. Lace and strong, flowery smells surrounded him.

"What can I help you with?" a woman asked him. She wore a sharp grey suit with a white shirt that showed a lot of cleavage.

"I need some clothes," Kakashi said.

Her eyebrow went up. "Are you sure you're in the right place? We don't sell boy's clothes here."

"That's ok," he said. "I need girls' clothes."

"Really?" the clerk asked. "You're a little young for such endeavors, aren't you?"

"I'm just buying clothes," Kakashi said.

"Of course dear," she said. "What size are you?"

"They're not for me," he said, blushing. "They're for my friend."

"I'm sure they are," she said. "I'll be discrete."

He felt a presence behind him and turned. Tsunade was standing there. "I'll take care of him," she said.

"Yes, Tsunade-hime," the clerk said.

"Why do you need girls' clothes?" Tsunade asked.

"Someone broke into my girlfriend's apartment and ruined hers. She's still in the field, and I don't want her to come home to find all her stuff gone. I'm trying to replace as much as I can." _I did tell Anko I could be her boyfriend when she came back, _he thought. _I guess that makes her my girlfriend._

"You're a kind boy," Tsunade said. "Good for you. Who is your girlfriend?"

"Mitarashi Anko," he said.

"So you're dating Orochimaru's student?" she asked.

"Please don't call her that," Kakashi said. "She's a loyal ninja. It's not her fault what happened."

"No," Tsunade said. "It's not her fault. She deserves someone to make her happy too. Let's find you some clothes for her. What sort of things does she wear?"

"Sometimes she wears pants, but she usually wears skirts and black shirts." He didn't tell her about what _kind _ of shirts Anko wore. It made him feel embarrassed to think about explaining fishnet shirts and stockings to Tsunade-hemi.

"Were her under things ruined?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes," Kakashi said. "Someone really hates her."

He turned away as she picked out some panties and a training bra. "I don't know if she wears one of these yet," she said. "If she doesn't she can return it."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said, wishing they could get this over with.

He stopped by a store for toiletries and took the things he bought for her home.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Mother asked him.

"I will," Kakashi said. "I need to do something for a friend, but I'll be back right after I'm finished."

"Ok," she said. "Take care of yourself."

He fetched a hammer and nails and went to Anko's and snuck in again. He had bought thick wooden boards, and he nailed Anko's door shut from the inside. They could remove them later, but he didn't want anyone else breaking in. Even if there wasn't really anything left after he'd removed what he could save he wanted her to come home to at least a clean place.

CAT was outside her apartment, leaning against the building. "You're disobeying orders," he said.

"Anko's apartment got broken into. She's out there protecting the village, and some sleaze wrecked her place. She deserves better than this."

"I won't report you this time," CAT said, "but you'd better go home and behave. The Hokage really will punish you if you keep this up."

"I'm done here," Kakashi said. "I'll go home."

Mother wouldn't let him help her with lunch, as usual. "Ibiki will be home tomorrow," she said as she chopped vegetables. They finished early, and he said Anko is coming soon. He said to tell you it won't cause trouble. Do you know what that means?"

Kakashi laughed. "I think it might mean they're finally getting along," he said. "I hope so."

"That's good," Mother said. "An ANBU took Akihiro to a council meeting earlier, and when he gets home he wants to speak with you."

"Do you know what about?" Kakashi asked. "Am I in trouble?"

"Goodness no dear," she said. She kissed him on the cheek. "You've never been any trouble to us. He just said that he wants to make sure you're handling things well. You had too much happen out there for a boy to deal with."

"I'm grateful, Mother," Kakashi said.

"I know people think of me as frail," she said, "but your old Mother has a good ear for troubles as well."

Kakashi felt that odd emotion he only got when she talked with him. A civilian shouldn't have been able to make him feel so safe. She couldn't have protected him physically, but it didn't matter. There was just something about her that let him know that things really would be ok eventually.

"Mother, I love you," he said. He'd never said it to anyone but his father.

"I love you too, sweetie," she said. "Never forget that. No matter what happens to you, or who you become – I'll always love you."

Akihiro was worn out from leaving the house and attending meetings, but when he finished dinner he took time to speak with Kakashi as usual.

"How are you holding up?" he asked Kakashi.

Kakashi told him about Anko's place. "I think she might be mad at me for buying her things, but I don't want her to come home to find her place like that."

"You might make her angry, but you did it out of kindness. Hopefully she'll understand."

He lit a cigar and blew smoke, waving it away and glancing at the door. "Don't tell Mother," he said. "I'm not supposed to smoke, but sometimes a man has to do what makes him happy."

"Have you had any more problems today?" Akihiro asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "I was out taking care of getting Anko new things, and I had enough to do that not much bothered me. As long as I keep my mind busy I'm ok."

"There might come a time when that's not enough," Akihiro said. "Make sure you tell me if you have new problems. Sometimes when a ninja comes back from rough missions they need psychological help. Most of the children your age were kept away from the front. I wish they could have spared you too."

Kakashi didn't think he'd need that sort of help. He'd had bad things happen on missions before. _But I never had as much happen at once, or so bad, _he thought.

He called Pakkun that night. He would have liked to sleep without him, but the room felt empty without Ibiki. He still had thoughts of Obito dying and the other things he'd seen on the field, and he needed Pakkun with him.

"You ok, pup?" Pakkun asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I'd just feel better with you here tonight. Ibiki comes back tomorrow, but I'd feel better not being alone."

"What happened to your eye?" Pakkun asked. "You never told me."

Kakashi opened his eye and let Pakkun see the Sharingan. "Obito died out there. This is his eye."

"I'm sorry," Pakkun said. "I liked Obito."

"Most people did," Kakashi said. "I wish I'd known him better. It was my own fault I didn't. No one took him seriously. Most people likeed him, but I don't know anyone who thought he was much of a ninja. I guess he proved us all wrong."

He slept, but his dreams were troubled, and he woke occasionally. Pakkun would lick his face, and Kakashi would find a new position and fall asleep again.

_Kakashi heard a noise in the next room, a sharp thump and a fall. Akihiro might have fallen, he thought, and he got up quickly, pulling on a pair of pants._

_The living room was odd, stretched beyond its normal proportions. _

_This is a dream, Kakashi thought. He heard a gurgle coming from Akihiro and Mother's room. "Stop," Mother yelled._

_Kakashi opened their door and saw an Iwa nin standing over Akihiro's broken body. Akihiro's face was crushed on the left side, and blood flowed from his mouth._

_The Iwa nin turned, and Kakashi saw that it was the same one who had sliced his eye. "She's next," he said. "You couldn't save Obito, and you can't do anything for her."_

"_I killed you!"_

"_Did you?" the Iwa nin asked. "Did you really?"_

Pakkun woke him, and Kakashi pulled him close. "You don't usually have problems like this," Pakkun said.

"I haven't slept well very often since Dad came back and I had to move out," Kakashi said. "It was just a bad dream."

When Ibiki got back the next day Kakashi was reading and trying to kill time until either his friends came home or he'd been "resting" long enough to get the Hokage off his back. CAT had come by twice, and he knew he'd be caught if he did more than what he was allowed.

Ibiki tossed his things in the corner and sat with a thump, almost breaking the chair. He was filthy, and Kakashi's sensitive nose rebelled at the smell.

"What did you do?" Kakashi asked, "work in a swamp?"

Kakashi saw his face change. It sharpened and grew somehow. "Actually yes," The Interrogator said. "The area was great for what we were doing. Leeches, swamp rats, nasty water – you wouldn't believe how much the environment played into what we were doing. I learned a lot."

"And is Ibiki ok?" Kakashi asked.

"I kept him out of it," The Interrogator said. "He was around for some of the fighting we had to do, but there wasn't much. I kept him away from my own interests."

"I heard about your eye and Obito," Ibiki said, taking control again.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I ruined a lot out there."

"I didn't hear that," Ibiki said. "I heard you kicked some serious ass."

"I guess," Kakashi said. "I don't care about that. I was just doing my duty. I should have been doing more the whole time."

"I heard you and Anko were working together," Kakashi said. "How did that go?"

"I still don't know what you see in her," The Interrogator said, "but you were right about there being more to her than there seems to be."

"Did she come home with you?"

"Not yet," Ibiki said. "She'll be home soon. You want to go out for awhile after I get a shower?"

"I can't," Kakashi said. "I got in trouble almost as soon as I got home. I'm under orders to stay here and "rest"." He made a face. "There's even been an ANBU tailing me."

"What did you do?" Ibiki said.

"Not much," Kakashi said. "I just almost passed out in the Hokage's office and had to sleep there for about six hours before I could come home."

"Dumbass," Ibiki said.

"Yeah. I need to keep an eye out for Anko. Someone wrecked her apartment, and I left her a note, but I want to see her as soon as she gets back."

Ibiki rolled his eyes. "Sure, that's the reason. It's not because you might as well be her nin-dog."

"It's not like that," Kakashi said.

"We'll see. We didn't really get to talk much. There was too much work to do, and The Interrogator was around most of the time. When we did talk it was mostly about you."

"Really?" Kakashi asked. "Did she really? So she's not mad at me?"

"You're such an idiot," Ibiki said. "She's really into you. You shouldn't be able to fuck this up."

"I'll give it my best shot," Kakashi said.

He went out later to see Asuma and Kurenai, but he couldn't find them, and he saw CAT lurking, obviously meaning to be seen. He was stuck fidgeting in the house, and he grew more irritable by the hour.

Ibiki and Akihiro were gone, and Mother was working on some complicated dish. He was left alone with his thoughts, and he didn't like that.

He asked Mother for one of her sleeping pills that night. After all that had happened, sleeping in the same room with The Interrogator didn't even register as a problem.

CAT showed up the next morning. "You've been pardoned," he said.

"I was able to go out today anyway," Kakashi said.

CAT chuckled. "You have no sense of humor."

"I do," Kakashi said. "I just never get _your _ jokes."

"The Hokage wants to see you," CAT said.

It was routine work, the sort he could almost do in his sleep. He was visiting a returning ninja to get a few papers signed when he saw Anko walking. He almost dropped his papers, but he managed to hold on to them as he ran toward her.

"Anko!" he yelled.

She turned just as he got to her. He didn't wait for her to say anything. He just grabbed her and kissed her. He didn't care that the village was seeing him without his mask, or that people thought he was cute.

He ignored the "aaahhs," and "oh how cute," that he heard around him.

"I missed you," Anko said.

"I missed you too," Kakashi said. "You can be my girlfriend again now. We don't have to worry about things so much."

"Let's go to my place," Anko said. "There are too many people here."

"About that," Kakashi said. "Somebody broke in while you were gone. I cleaned up and boarded the door from the inside, but most of your stuff was wrecked."

"It's just stuff," Anko said, but she looked sad. "People do that because of Orochimaru. I hope they get over it eventually."

"They will," Kakashi said. "If they don't then they're missing out on someone wonderful, and I'll keep you all to myself."

"Goofus," she said.

"I bought you some things to replace what got ruined," Kakashi said.

"I don't want you spending money on me," Anko said. "I can take care of myself."

"I know that," Kakashi said, "but I want to. It made me happy."

"As long as you know that I can take care of myself," she said. "I'll probably be promoted to Jounin soon, and I can get a new place."

"For now, why don't you come back to my house and see the stuff I got for you," Kakashi said. "It's mostly clothes and books. I didn't want you to come home to a nasty mess and no things left."

Mother cooed over Anko. "Are you Kakashi's little girlfriend?" Mother asked.

Anko giggled and held Kakashi's hand. "I guess," she said.

Mother pinched her cheek gently. "I have cookies," she said. "Do you want one?"

"I _love _cookies," Anko said. Kakashi knew Mother had found a friend. Anyone who offered Anko sweets was automatically on her good side.

She started to eat standing up. "No dear," Mother said. "We eat at the table here."

Anko sat and ate happily. "These are good," she said.

"I make them with love," Mother said. She gave Anko a glass of milk.

"Thank you," Anko said around a mouthful of cookie.

Mother tousled her hair. "Don't talk with your mouth full." She smiled.

Kakashi couldn't believe Anko was letting someone treat her like that, but then he was still surprised at Mother's ability to make people feel comfortable and happy.

When she was finished they went to Kakashi and Ibiki's room, and Kakashi gave her the bags he'd brought home.

"You got the right books, and the clothes are nice," she said. "You have good taste."

He wanted her to think that he actually knew about such things, so he didn't tell her that Tsunade helped him.

She pulled out a pair of black, lacy panties. "Did you really buy these?" she asked.

"Tsunade-hemi did that," Kakashi said, feeling his face turn bright red again. "I think she likes to play jokes on me."

"They're pretty," Anko said. "I'll have to tell her thank you when I see her again."

"I couldn't find anything like what you usually wear," Kakashi said.

"That's because I make my stockings and shirts myself," she said. "I don't think you can find anything like that in a store."

"I didn't know you could sew," Kakashi said.

"There's a lot about me you don't know."

His life was better because Anko was home and safe. She was even happy with him – for the moment.

"I heard about your eye," Anko said.

"I've talked about that as much as I want to," Kakashi said. "I just want to enjoy being with you."

They talked for about an hour, and when Akihiro came home Kakashi insisted she meet him.

"Hello, Anko," Akihiro said as Mother helped him into a seat.

"You know me?" Anko asked.

"I take an interest in you," Akihiro said. "Kakashi is important to me, and I'm glad we're finally meeting."

Anko was quieter than normal, and Kakashi thought she might have actually been intimidated by Akihiro. He was a legend, and she'd always been interested in Ibiki's stories about him, even if she wasn't interested in Ibiki.

He finally had to get to work again, and he walked her home. He didn't let go of her hand the whole way.


	27. Chapter 27

AN: I did some research on PTSD and flashbacks for this chapter. What Mother does was suggested as a temporary treatment. I put a lot of work into my fanfictions, and I try not to pull facts out of my ass as much as possible.

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As much as he tried Kakashi just couldn't keep his mind in the present. He was helping Anko set up her new bed. It was a cheap, paste-board affair that he didn't think would last more than a couple years. He focused on the simple task to keep from focusing on things he didn't want to think about.

"I don't know why you wouldn't just let me buy you a nice one," Kakashi said. "I have plenty of money I don't even have a use for. Akihiro won't let me pay any bills, so it's just sitting in the bank. There's no reason for you to have to live like this."

"I don't want you to do that," Anko said. "I need to take care of myself."

"Why?" Kakashi asked. "Why can't I help you?"

"You've had money all your life," Anko said. "You wouldn't understand."

"I understand," Kakashi said. "You're just being stubborn."

"No," she said. "You're naïve. I pulled myself up when I came back. I can't just let someone else take care of me – not even you."

"Can't I do anything for you?" he asked.

"You already replaced all my things, cleaned my apartment, and helped me set up my bed," she said. "Why do you think that isn't enough? You didn't used to be this way."

"I don't know," he said. "It just feels like this is my fault."

"That makes no sense," Anko said. "How could any of this be your fault? You were out there fighting too. You couldn't have known this was going to happen."

Kakashi remembered Obito dying, Rin crying, Sensei asking him if he could fight as if he thought he was weak. He couldn't even help his father or girlfriend.

"I should be able to help at least one person in my life," Kakashi said, "and I can't."

"You already helped me," Anko said. "I don't need your help. I need you. And I think you help Ibiki."

"There is that," Kakashi thought, feeling a bit better. Ibiki was one of the few people he felt like he'd done right by.

Anko lay on the bed, testing the new mattress. "I'm tired of thinking about stuff," she said. "I'm going to take a nap and train some."

"It's the wrong time to sleep," Kakashi said. "You'll wake up at 10 and be up all night. You should treat your body better than that."

"Says the guy the nurses curse behind his back," she said. "I get about as much sleep as everyone else," she said. "I just do it at different times. Besides, I don't have a Sensei or a team. It doesn't matter when I do stuff, as long as it gets done."

"I guess," Kakashi said. He rubbed his eye gently. It was still sore.

"Does it hurt?" Anko asked.

"A little," Kakashi said. "Obito always had problems with his eyes; that's why he wore those goggles. I don't know if it will get better or not."

"Those goggles were dumb," Anko said.

"Yeah. I'd give a lot to see him wearing those dumb goggles though."

He thought about Obito again, needing him and Rin to help him. _If Sensei had been there he could have done something better than I did, _Kakashi thought. He didn't know what else could have been done, but there had to be something.

It still felt so unreal. Obito should have been late for training that day. He should have had a stupid excuse and runny eyes. Now he'd never spar with Kakashi again. It almost felt as if he could go to the training fields at the right time and find the Least Uchiha waiting for him with Rin. He'd be lucky if Rin ever talked to him again.

"Kakashi? You're really quiet," Anko said.

"I'm just thinking," he said. Obito's crushed face formed in his mind, and he couldn't shut it out. He could almost smell the blood.

_Wait. I do smell blood, _he thought. He sniffed the air. "Anko, do you smell blood?"

"No," she said.

He put just a bit of chakra into his nose. It was something that Pakkun had taught him. He could definitely smell the sharp copper tang of blood.

"I _do _smell blood," he said. He began to look around the apartment. There wasn't anywhere he saw stains or wet spots. He activated the Sharingan and looked into the walls and under the thin carpets.

"I can't find it, but I can smell it," he said. "It's getting stronger."

"I think it might be your imagination," Anko said. "I don't smell anything at all. I know you have a strong sense of smell, but I would be able to smell it too if it's that strong."

"It could be my imagination," Kakashi happened. "I've never smelled random blood before though. That's just weird."

"Blow your nose," Anko said. "Maybe you have a small nose bleed or something."

He did as she suggested, but there wasn't any blood in his mucus. "You really don't smell anything?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "Quit thinking about it so much."

He felt edgy, and when Anko insisted they play cards he couldn't concentrate. Anko won 14 dollars off him before he decided to go home. He didn't really like poker anyway.

The smell followed him. It faded eventually, but he wondered where it had come from.

He checked the mission desk on the way home, but there was nothing for him. It was one of the problems with being a Jounin. The pay was great, but if there weren't any high level missions the desk jockeys didn't want to send a powerful ninja out on a low-level mission. He was expected to be useful around the village, but he preferred missions to village busy-work. They might call it "conserving resources", but he called it boredom.

He practiced with the Sharingan, trying to feel what it could do. Ibiki was staying with Asuma that night, and it was just him and the Morinos. He was glad Ibiki was up to going out like that. He seemed to be getting better slowly.

They ate quietly. Talking at the table was discouraged, something he'd found odd when he'd moved in. His father had always used that time to catch up with him, but then again they'd eaten crappy food a lot of the time. Mother Morino's food deserved more respect than that. Occasionally they had spoken during meals, but it was unusual.

He wished they could have talked tonight. He didn't like to give himself time to let his mind wander. It always wandered back to a certain collapsed rock face.

_Will I ever think about anything else when I'm not actively using my mind? _He wondered.

He stirred his noodles apathetically. He could vaguely smell blood again, and the hot sauce was the exact color of new blood.

"Aren't you hungry dear?" Mother asked.

"My stomach is a little upset," he said. He didn't like how the smell of the noodles and hot sauce mixed with the blood stench that was growing.

"I'll get you some medicine," she said.

He stood before she could get it. "I'll get it," he said. "I don't want you to have to leave your meal. It's really good; I just can't eat right now."

Akihiro put a squirt of hot sauce in his noodles, and the red liquid spread out in the broth. Kakashi blinked as it began to seep over the edge and spread across the table.

"Oh, Honey, I think he's ill," he heard Mother say. "Look at his face."

"You shouldn't eat that," Kakashi said, keeping his voice as calm as possible. He didn't want to scare Mother. "I think someone tampered with the hot sauce. There's blood in it."

Mother gasped. Kakashi stood and stared – transfixed by the blood around Akihiro's bowl.

Akihiro struggled to his feet. He made his way slowly around the table, and Kakashi wondered why no one but him cared about the blood on the table, ruining Mother's homemade tablecloth.

Akihiro kept one hand on his walker and put the other on Kakashi's shoulder, squeezing and shaking him a bit.

"I know what's happening," he said. "There's no blood, Kakashi. You just think there is."

"But I _see _it," Kakashi said. "It's right there."

"You're hallucinating," Akihiro said. "I was afraid something like this might happen. I want you to focus on my voice."

"Yes, sir," Kakashi said. _He can fix this, _Kakashi thought.

Akihiro spoke quietly to him, but the blood didn't go away. When he looked up from the table toward Mother he realized why the blood was there. An Iwa Nin stood behind her. It was that same Iwa Nin that took his eye. He didn't know what the ninja was doing, but he shouldn't have been there.

Mother glanced behind her. "What are you looking at?" she asked.

The Iwa Nin didn't stir. _I'm the only one who can see him, _Kakashi thought. _He must be using a genjutsu on them, and I'm not affected for some reason. _That was the ninja that could almost disappear, but Obito had been able to track him with his new Sharingan.

He pulled his headband up, allowing the Sharingan to show. He wanted to see the man's chakra before he attacked. He didn't know what the Iwa Nin was waiting for, but he wasn't going to let him hurt Mother.

_If I strike first I can push her away from him and keep him from hurting her," _Kakashi thought.

"Cover your eye," Akihiro said. "You don't need that weapon. Mother, leave the room."

"I can't leave him like this," Mother said. Kakashi didn't take his eyes of the enemy, waiting for him to make any sort of move.

_Why can't I see his chakra? _He wondered. _I should be able to. It's almost as if he's not even there._

"Kakashi, cover your eye," Akihiro said, and Kakashi responded to the command in the old man's voice. As he was moving his hand toward his headband the Iwa Nin moved toward Mother, and Kakashi acted out of instinct.

Kakashi leapt across the table, jumping over it easily. He landed between the Iwa Nin and Mother, protecting her with his body. He had drawn a kunai while he jumped, and he held it in front of himself, ready for whatever the ninja might do.

"Get back!" Kakashi snarled. "You can't have her."

_You can't protect her, _the Iwa Nin said. _You can't protect anyone, you piece of trash._

Kakashi saw a blur of movement behind him, and when he glanced toward Akihiro he saw his chakra signature change. With his Sharingan Kakashi could see the large pulse of chakra Akihiro sent from his heart to his leg, and it almost looked as if his injured leg was made of chakra.

_He can still fight, _Kakashi thought. _I can get the Iwa Nin while he protects Mother._

Before he realized what was happening Akihiro moved across the room. _He's almost as fast as Sensei, _Kakashi thought.

Akihiro spun Kakashi around and pressed his face into the table, pinning his arms behind him. Kakashi still held the kunai, but he couldn't have done anything with it. Akihiro's hold was perfect. He had pushed the side of Kakashi's face with the Sharingan into the table, rendering it harmless.

"You have two choices, Kakashi," he said. "Either drop the weapon or I'll have to break your wrist. I don't want to, but I will. You could hurt Mother."

Kakashi flexed his hand enough to let go of the kunai. Akihiro had such a tight hold on him that even that much movement was difficult.

"I'm trying to _protect _her!" Kakashi said. "Didn't you see the Iwa nin? He's going to hurt her."

"There's no Iwa nin here," Akihiro said. "I want you to repeat that."

"But there _is,_" Kakashi said. "We have to get him."

"I've seen this before," Akihiro said. "It happens sometimes to people when they've seen too much for their minds to handle. I'm going to get you through this, but you have to trust me."

"I trust you," Kakashi said, "but he's still here."

"Do you understand that I have your best interests at heart?" Akihiro asked.

"Of course," Kakashi said. "But the ninja…"

"I'm going to put some pressure and a little chakra into a point on the back of your neck, and you're not going to be able to move. This is for your own protection, as well as ours. I'm going to get a doctor, and we're going to help you."

"I don't need that kind of help!" Kakashi said. "We have to stop him."

"I don't think he understands what you're saying to him," Mother said.

"When you used your Sharingan on the Iwa Nin, what did you see?" Akihiro asked.

"Nothing," Kakashi said. "He has no chakra signature. It's almost as if he…"

He looked up at Akihiro, understanding at last. "Almost as if he wasn't there."

"Good boy," Akihiro said. Kakashi felt a small pain in his neck, and his body went numb. Akihiro lowered him gently to the floor. He put Kakashi's headband over the Sharingan.

Mother moved to help Akihiro up, but he stood by himself. "I can't keep the Heart Gate open much longer," he said. "I'm going to get a doctor. I want you to go to your sister's tonight."

"No," she said. Kakashi had never heard her speak back to Akihiro before. "I'm his Mother and I'm not leaving my boy like this."

Kakashi was beginning to understand what was happening to him. "I think he's right," he said. "I'm ok now – I think, but I could have hurt you. I'm sorry."

Mother sat on the floor by Kakashi, smoothing his hair and caressing his face. "I know what could happen," she said. "What kind of mother would I be if I let you lie alone like this? Whatever happens, happens."

"I know better than to argue with you when you have that tone," Akihiro said. "I'll be back as soon as I can. If he begins to move at all, get out."

"Poor boy," she said. "I was so busy worrying about Ibiki I didn't even notice. You always seemed so strong."

He lay still, listening to the sounds of the night. He didn't hear the ninja anymore, but that didn't _really _mean he wasn't there.

_Akihiro will take care of this, _he thought. _I really wish that Ibiki was here._

"This will pass," Mother said. "They'll probably give you some medicine. Just trust the people who love you."

He saw legs on the other side of the table. From his position on the floor he couldn't see who was standing there, but he suspected that it was the Iwa Nin again.

"He's back," Kakashi said. Akihiro was gone and he was useless.

_She's going to die now, _he heard the Iwa Nin say.

"No, he's not here," Mother said. "I'm going to leave you for just a minute. I'll be right back with something to help you."

She moved toward the kitchen, and he saw the ninja follow her. Kakashi tried to struggle, but whatever Akihiro had done to him immobilized him from the neck down. "Mother, he's coming!" he yelled.

She came back with a cut lemon and a glass. "This helps me when I have problems," she said.

"You have this happen too?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't see a ninja, but I think there is…another person at times – someone who hurt me when I was young," she said. "I tried to attack Ibiki when he was very little, because I didn't know who he was. Akihiro stopped me, and he developed that jutsu that he used on you for me. I've had a long time to learn to deal with this, and the medication helps."

She pulled an ice cube from the glass and put it in his hand. Even though he couldn't move, he could still feel the cold sting of it against his skin.

"Focus on that feeling," Mother said. "You're seeing things that already happened, and focusing on the present is what you need to do."

She held the lemon to his lips. "Bite it hard," she said.

He bit down, and the sour shock jolted him. He spat lemon seeds and bits of fruit.

"Did it work at all?" she asked.

Kakashi ran his tongue around his mouth. "I feel very in the present right now. Could I have some water?"

"No," she said. "The discomfort is good. Do you see him again?"

"He's gone," Kakashi said. "He was never here, was he?"

"No," she said. "Mine was never there either. It took me a long time to be able to tell that when I saw him, but I rarely have problems now. I hope it will be that way for you too."

Ibiki burst in the room, followed by Asuma. "Dad's at the Hokage's house," Ibiki said. "I heard them talking. Did you really have some kind of fit? There's a doctor with them. I wanted to get here before they did."

Asuma knelt by Kakashi. "The Hokage sent an ANBU, and he's trying to find your father, but he's not at home. Is there anything I can do?"

"I don't want Dad to know," Kakashi said.

"Look – I know how things are between you two, but he's your father," Asuma said.

"I don't want to add this to his burdens," Kakashi said.

"You might be underestimating him," Mother said. "Any father would want to help his son."

Kakashi remembered his father at the hospital. There was no way he could handle this.

He heard heavy steps outside, and the Hokage came in, supporting Akihiro. Even without the Sharingan Kakashi knew what must have happened. He had shut the Heart Gate, and now his leg was useless to him again. The Hokage helped the older man into a chair.

A man with sparse white hair and sharp features followed them. Thin black glasses framed dark eyes.

"He's better," Mother said. "He knows he wasn't really seeing anyone."

"Ibiki and Asuma, I want you to go home and wait for me there," the Hokage said.

"I'm staying with him," Mother said, and Kakashi heard steel in that soft voice.

No one tried to dissuade her. The man with white hair sat by Kakashi. "I'm Dr. Yamanako," he said. "If we remove the jutsu will you promise me not to try to hurt yourself or someone else?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. "I don't want to hurt anyone but that Iwa Nin."

"Do you still think there's an enemy ninja in the house?" Dr. Yamanako asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "I know there isn't."

Dr. Yamanako touched the back of Kakashi's neck, and he felt warmth flow into him. He sat up, flexing his fingers.

"I'm sorry I had to do that," Akihiro said.

"It's ok," Kakashi said. "I still don't really understand what happened, but I think you did the right thing."

"Why don't you all sit down?" Mother said. When everyone was seated Kakashi realized that four adults were very intently giving him all of their attention.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Dr. Yamanako asked. "Akihiro already spoke to me, but I want to hear what you have to say."

"I smelled blood off and on today, and then at dinner the hot sauce looked like blood," Kakashi said. "I thought that an Iwa Nin was here, and he said he was going to kill Mother. That sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"No," Dr. Yamanako said. "You're experiencing what we call dissociation. Have you heard the term?"

"I've read about it," Kakashi said. The things he'd been reading to help Ibiki had ended up being things he needed to know for himself.

"How did you come out of it?" Dr. Yamanako asked.

He told them about the lemon and ice, leaving out how Mother had known to use them.

"It's ok dear," she said. "You don't have to shield me. I grew accustomed to this problem long ago."

"I've had similar problems most of my life," she told Dr. Yamanako. "Akihiro and I know how to help him."

"Here's what I want to happen," Dr. Yamanako said. "Sleep tonight, and come see me tomorrow morning. My office is on the fifth floor of the hospital. We'll talk, and I'm going to get you started on some medication. We need to find out what your triggers are, and what sensory stimulus you can use to help you out of this. Obviously you can't plan on having lemons or ice on the field, but we can probably find something you can carry with you."

"I can still be a ninja though, right?" Kakashi asked. "I don't think I could live without being a ninja."

"It's a more common problem among ninjas than you might think," Dr. Yamanako said. "We're going to focus on rehabilitation, and if your therapy goes well you'll be back out in the field soon. You probably won't have heavy combat missions for some time, but I understand you're good as a spy and tracker when needed. Eventually you can be specifically used in combat again, if you take your medicine properly and carry something with you as a sensory stimulus in care of flare-ups. I'm going to speak with the Hokage and the Morinos now. I know you must be tired. Is there anything that helps you sleep?"

Kakashi thought it would be nice to have Pakkun with him. "Yes," he said, "but it's silly."

"That's ok," Dr. Yamanako said. "You don't have to tell us. As long as you have something comforting."

Kakashi went to bed and called Pakkun, but he listened through the thin walls as they talked about him.

"He's aware of his surroundings, and he didn't look or sound like he felt threatened," he heard Dr. Yamanako say. "I think he's safe for the night. I'll look over his file and set up a treatment program. Are you his guardian, Akihiro-san?"

"Not legally," Akihiro said. "He's been here for some time, but his father is still his legal guardian."

"We need him to sign the papers to get Kakashi's treatment started," Dr. Yamanako said. "Someone has to be responsible for him."

"His father's house is practically empty," the Hokage said. "I don't know where he might have gone. Kakashi's only other relative is Jiraiya-sama, as far as I know. He's out of town. I can contact him, but he probably can't be back for at least a few days, and that would be pushing it."

"Sarutobi, you have the authority to decide such things," Dr. Yamanako said. "We can only forcefully change custody temporarily without legal issues."

"I don't like the idea of doing this to Sakumo, but we need an answer now," the Hokage said. "Mr. and Mrs. Morino, would you take legal guardianship of Kakashi temporarily? I know you've already been taking care of him."

"Gladly," Akihiro said.

"It only puts on paper what's already in my heart," Mother said.

Kakashi sniffled. "It's like they think Dad abandoned me," he said.

"He kind of did," Pakkun said.

"Not you too," Kakashi said.

"You're my Master now," Pakkun said. "I don't like seeing you like this. I'm mad at Sakumo."

"I just want things to be like they used to be," Kakashi said. "It can't happen, but I want it."

"That's how children talk," Pakkun said. "You should know better by now."

"Yeah," Kakashi said, "but I still want it."

He heard the Hokage say, "I have an ANBU looking for Sakumo. I doubt that anyone has bothered to keep up with him, but he'll turn up. I'm going to contact Jiraiya too. He can't help tonight, but he and Kakashi are close. I'll send word for him to finish his mission as quickly as possible and come home."

"At least your uncle is coming home," Pakkun said. "You want to tell me what all this is about?"

"I freaked the hell out," Kakashi said. "They're going to have to give me medication. It was a huge ordeal."

He heard the heavy steps of the Hokage and the lighter, unfamiliar steps that he assumed belonged to Dr. Yamanako.

"I like Dr. Yamanako," Kakashi said.

He heard Akihiro and Mother talking in hushed tones. "Are you ok, Mother?" Akihiro asked.

"I hate seeing him like this." she said. "Is this what it was like for you, all those years?"

"Yes," Akihiro said. "But you were worth it. You still are."

"He is too," Mother said.

"Let's go to bed," Akihiro said. "Everyone has been taken care of, and I'm sore and tired. This old man had to actually fight today. I didn't know I still had it in me."

"I knew you did," Mother said.

"You bring the best out in everyone," Akihiro said.

"No. I just see it there. You and Kakashi and Ibiki brought it out yourselves."

Kakashi wondered what good she could possibly see in him. He sure didn't see it in himself at the moment.

"The rest of the pack wants to see you too," Pakkun said. "I've been telling them that you need a sensor type so they don't get jealous, but they miss you."

"You're my favorite," Kakashi said. "Don't tell them though. It could cause you trouble since you're just a Beta."

"You're the Master I've loved the most," Pakkun said. "You can sleep now. I'll keep you safe."


	28. Chapter 28

Kakashi woke after another fitful night. Ibiki was studying, but when Kakashi sat up he put away his book.

"I didn't even hear you come in," Kakashi said.

"I didn't mean for you to," Ibiki said. "If I can't sneak into a sleeping ninja's room I'm not much of a ninja. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Kakashi said. "I'm going to talk to a doctor this morning. I don't want you to worry about me. There are plenty of ninjas who've had this happen."

Ibiki tossed a few envelopes on his bed. "You have some mail. I don't know how you attracted the attention of the police, but they sent you something that looks official."

Kakashi opened it, pulling out several papers with the Chief of Police's stamp. "They didn't waste any time," he said. "I have orders to report to the police station by tomorrow. They suspect me of killing Obito and taking his eye."

"Be careful. The Uchihas are cold-blooded," Ibiki said. "If I didn't have plans involving them I wouldn't have anything to do with that clan."

"I'll go voluntarily," Kakashi said. "I don't have anything to hide."

"Don't try to be the big man about this," Ibiki said. "Talk to Dad. He's powerful. Even if they declare you innocent they'll probably still hate you. That's how they are."

"If he's up I'll talk to him," Kakashi said. "I really don't think anyone can do much about this. The Uchihas are the police. They control everything about how the law is applied."

"Not everything," Ibiki said. "The council and the Hokage can challenge them."

Akihiro was awake. "You missed breakfast," he said. "There's some cold porridge in the fridge if you want some."

Kakashi was grateful that Akihiro didn't refer to what had happened the night before.

"Ibiki just gave me this," Kakashi said, handing the summons to Akihiro.

Akihiro read over the papers. "I'm not surprised," he said. "They really didn't waste any time, did they? I'm going to ask you this one time. Is there anything that they might find out that you haven't been honest about? If you tell me I might be able to help you, but if you lie to them it's over."

"I didn't kill Obito!" Kakashi said. "I'd never hurt my teammate!"

"I didn't think you did," Akihiro said.

"It is my fault that he's dead though," Kakashi said. "It was my team, and it's my failure. He would still be alive if it wasn't for me."

"Be careful that you don't let them know about that," Akihiro said. "If they find out you carry that guilt they'll use it against you. I don't think this is just about justice with them. They probably don't know what happened to Tomiko, but they have to at least know that she disappeared after taking you. Now you've been involved in the death of a second Uchiha, and I think they might kill you if they can get away with it."

He tucked the papers into a pocket. "This isn't what you need to be dealing with this morning. Go talk to Dr. Yamanako. If there are any papers that need to be signed tell them I'll come by and take care of them."

"I'll talk with the Hokage about this," Akihiro said.

Kakashi decided to try to leave the problem with the Uchihas at home. He needed to give his meeting with Dr. Yamanako all his attention.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo was almost home when BEAR approached him. "We've been looking for you, Sakumo-san. You're ordered to report to the Hokage immediately."

"What is this about?" Sakumo asked.

"That's classified," BEAR said. "I wasn't given any information."

There wasn't much point in pushing BEAR. Even if the ANBU had known what was going on he probably wouldn't have said.

The receptionist was cold to him, as always. She wasn't someone he'd been close to, but they'd had some good times together. It was just a bit more salt in a wound that would always be raw.

She tapped a long, bright-red fingernail on the intercom. "Hatake Sakumo to see you," she said. She looked up at Sakumo over the phone. "Shall I send him away, Hokage-sama?"

"Send him in," the Hokage said.

Sakumo stood, waiting to find out what new crime he'd committed.

"I had almost all of the ANBU looking for you last night," Sarutobi said. "How did you manage to hide so well?"

"Noni? I was helping a couple people in a poor neighborhood, and it got too late to go home. I have a cot in one of their houses, so I just slept there. I didn't mean to cause any trouble, Hokage-sama."

"You were needed last night," the Hokage said. He slid a piece of paper to Sakumo. "Leave me an address where I can reach you in the future."

Sakumo wrote down the old sisters' address. "What was I needed for?" he asked.

"Kakashi fell ill, and we had to have a guardian take responsibility for his treatment. I'm sorry, but in your absence I had to use my authority to grant Morino Akihiro temporary custody. You two can – hopefully – work out something more permanent later."

"What's wrong with him?" Sakumo asked. "Was it Obito's eye? Is he ok?" _I can't believe he needed me and I wasn't there for him, again, _Sakumo thought.

"He seems to have had a PTSD episode," the Hokage said.

"How bad?" Sakumo asked.

"He thought an Iwa nin was about to attack Mrs. Morino, and he had to be restrained. He's speaking with Dr. Yamanako today, and he'll probably be put on medication."

"I can't help him, can I?" Sakumo asked. "If I stay in his life he'll pay for it in the way the village treats him, but if I keep my distance I can't help him when he needs me. I don't know what to do."

"It's a good question," Sarutobi said. "It's one I don't have an answer to. I think you and Akihiro should speak. I'm sure your relationship with him is awkward, but he cares for Kakashi."

"I'll speak with him later, Hokage-sama."

"There's more," the Hokage said. "Akihiro came by with some information earlier. The police are investigating him for his part in Obito's death."

"They can't really think Kakashi killed him?" Sakumo asked.

"The Uchihas aren't logical where family is concerned," Sarutobi said. "I'm going to deal with this myself."

"Thank you for telling me, Hokage-sama. I'll see him as soon as he can."

He went to Akihiro's house, assuming the henge he'd worn when they'd rescued Kakashi the first time. He didn't want to bother Mrs. Morino.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Akihiro said. "Better late than never – I guess. Mother is in the market, and Ibiki is out doing whatever ninjas his age do now. We can talk freely."

Sakumo dropped the henge. "An ANBU found me earlier, and I just got back from the Hokage's office. I thought that Kakashi didn't need me anymore."

"He'll always need you. It's your idea that he doesn't," Akihiro said. "I performed the duties of a father last night, but you're the only one that can ever really fill that role."

"I gave that up," Sakumo said. "You know why I did it. I'm no good for him."

"So let other people guide him if you think you're unfit, but be there for him. This isn't something I say easily, but I want you to come see him here."

"Are you sure?" Sakumo asked. "I know what this must cost you."

"No," Akihiro said. "You have no idea what this is costing me. I have tried to forgive you, because bitterness is the worst way to live life, but when I see my son's scars I hate you. Kakashi has earned a close place in my heart, but even that makes it difficult to talk to you without thinking of that "other" person who shares my son's mind."

"I don't wish to burden you further," Sakumo said. "You don't have to do this. I can find another way."

"I don't think you can," Akihiro said. "You used to be a strong man, but you're just a shadow now. You need as much guidance as a child, and I'm going to give it to you."

"Noni?" Sakumo asked.

"I think you could dwindle away and become a ghost," Akihiro said, "and Kakashi doesn't need a ghost-father. Come to my house in that henge and see him. Ask me what questions you need to."

"Thank you, Akihiro-san," Sakumo said. "I'm glad my son has such an ally."

"I want you to understand me," Akihiro said. "You turn my stomach at times, but your son has become someone I love as much as my own. For the son's sake I am helping the father."

"I understand, sir," Sakumo said. "It's more than I have a right to."

"And for god's sake, quit being so fucking submissive!" Akihiro yelled. "The only thing worse than seeing your fall is seeing you cringe afterward."

Sakumo didn't reply. He wasn't sure what to say. No one had told him to pick himself up before. Everyone was comfortable kicking him while he was down.

"We told Mother you were an Inuzuka," Akihiro said. "Go by the name Inuzuka Shun when you come by. We'll say you're here to help Kakashi with his therapy. That should be enough of a cover for us."

"Thank you," Sakumo said.

"Don't thank me," Akihiro said. "I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for a kind-hearted, strong boy who needs his father."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sarutobi kept his outward composure, but he seethed inwardly. Uchiha Tadashi stood before him, his posture straight and unbending.

_Whoever named that man after the concept of Justice had no idea what he would turn into, _Sarutobi thought.

"You summoned me?" Tadashi asked, but it was more like a statement than a question.

"I understand you want to interrogate Hatake Kakashi about his teammate's death," the Hokage said.

"It is normal procedure in such a case," Tadashi said. "We've already questioned his other teammate. Some of the things she told us make us doubt Kakashi's official statement. She left the village shortly after, but we got what we needed from her."

"Do you have any concrete proof of Kakashi's guilt?" the Hokage asked.

"This is an ongoing investigation," Tadashi said. "We can hardly release information at this time."

"I am your Hokage, and you will give me what information I require, or I'll bring you up on charges before the council."

Tadashi smiled, and Sarutobi felt that somehow he'd lost some ground. "I'll send the files to you as soon as I can. It will take some time, of course. We're terribly busy at the moment."

"I don't intend on letting you interrogate Kakashi without supervision," the Hokage said. "I will be present when it happens, just to make sure there aren't' any "accidents"."

"You insult me!" Tadashi said. "The Uchiha Police Force will see that justice is done! We are the law!"

"You are not the law," Sarutobi said. "You are just its container. You are no more than Justice's jinchuuriki, and you've forgotten that. The Uchihas are losing yourselves in your pride."

"_We _have not forgotten how to serve our village and dispense justice," Tadashi said. Sarutobi knew what he was referring to. Tadashi had been one of the council members who had pushed hardest for Sakumo's execution.

_I have what I need from him for the moment, _the Hokage thought. "I will speak with Kakashi and contact you soon. Take no steps until I give you orders."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Tadashi said. He held the Hokage's eyes just long enough to register his defiance, and then he turned sharply on his heel and left.

Sarutobi buzzed his assistant. "Rin, come in here. This isn't something I want to discuss over the intercom."

Rin came in. She was cold and unforgiving, but she was also the most loyal assistant he'd ever known. "Call for CROW. This is top-secret."


	29. Chapter 29

AN: Lady and the Tramp is owned by Walt Disney Productions. I don't intend to make any money off the reference.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

While the Hokage and the Chief of Police were struggling, Kakashi was trying to find words for Dr. Yamanako. He left the doctor's office with a pile of paperwork for himself and Akihiro.

"How did it go?" Akihiro asked.

Kakashi began to sort through the papers. "He asked me a lot of questions, and then we talked about medication and therapy. It took three hours to get all that done. I don't like this. It makes me feel like I'm sick"

"A lot of ninjas have the same problem," Akihiro said. "You aren't' alone."

"We talked about that," Kakashi said. "He said there is some evidence that the First Hokage had some problems himself. Some people think that's what spurred him to build Konoha. He wanted to build a safer place for the children so they didn't see the dead. It was something I've heard that he said before, but I never gave it much thought. It does sound like he had hallucinations too."

"I spoke with the Hokage," Akihiro said. "He's going to deal with the police. I know these things must be heavy on your mind, but try to focus on your work and getting your personal life back in order."

"That's not so easy," Kakashi said.

"I checked with the mission director," Akihiro said. "Your Sensei and Uncle will be back from their mission in about a week or so. I know you're close to them."

"I don't know how I'm going to face Sensei after what happened."

"You'll find a way. Don't let the people you love drift away from you. You need them all, especially now."

"I think my teammate already drifted away from me," Kakashi said. "Or ex-teammate – I guess. I haven't seen Rin around town. I was going to go to the Hokage's office and talk to her mother. She's his assistant."

"Were you and Rin close?" Akihiro asked.

"No. She had a crush on me, but I didn't like her much. She just seemed like a nuisance. I promised Obito I'd protect her, but right after he died she asked Sensei to split us up. She thinks it's her fault he died."

"Are you sure the girl wants you to find her?" Akihiro asked.

"Not really, but I owe Obito. He really loved Rin."

"Do what you feel is honorable, but you need to know that sometimes these sort of things push people apart permanently. She might have painful memories when she sees you."

"It's hard to know what's honorable," Kakashi said. "Sometimes it seems like trying to fix one thing just breaks another."

"True – very true. Don't let it stop you from trying. I do have some better news. You could use a pick-me-up right now. I spoke with your father earlier," Akihiro said.

"Did you? How is he doing?" Kakashi asked eagerly.

"He's fine. He was helping some poor people last night and no one knew where to find him." He handed Kakashi a piece of paper with Sakumo's address. "This is where he's living now. He has the idea that you don't need him, but I cleared that nonsense out of his head. He'll be coming over to visit. I told him to wear the same henge that he did when he came over after you were taken."

"Thank you," Kakashi said, "but is this ok? I don't want to cause your family pain."

Akihiro pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kakashi, you are beginning to make me a bit angry right now. You and your father share a common trait that drives me nuts, and I already had words with him about this today. It's good that you put other people ahead of yourself. You're a ninja, and that's an admirable trait when it's for the good of the village. You both seem to assume you have fewer rights than others at times."

"What?"

"Your father grovels now. I hate seeing it, even in him. You don't seem to think you deserve any help or attention. You've helped enough people. I heard about you on the battlefield. They said you pushed your body to the limits trying to protect other people and take on the most missions. It's ok to have needs, Kakashi."

"I'm used to being the protector," Kakashi said. "I don't know how to need other people."

"That's something we all need to learn," Akihiro said. "I remember when I was younger and I had to leave on missions I would worry about Mother terribly. I had to entrust her to other people, and it was my job to care for her. I finally had to learn that other people had the right and duty to help her too. Other people have the right to care for you."

"So yes," Akihiro said. "This will cause me pain, but I accept that. It usually isn't easy to know what's honorable, but in this case it's clear, and I'll be dammed if I let you go without a father when it's in my power to bring him to you."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. "I don't know how I can ever repay you for all you've done for me."

"There is no debt between family – at least not in my house. It's funny, but when you came here I just wanted you to be something that Mother needed. You've become much more to all of us. You're as much a Morino as any of the rest of us."

"I'll try to be worthy of that," Kakashi said.

Akihiro suddenly grinned, with that same look that Kakashi still occasionally saw on Ibiki's face. He leaned forward and pulled Kakashi's headband off with one hand, tousling his hair roughly with the other. There was a mirror behind him, and Kakashi had a quick glance at himself before he tried to put his hair back in order. He looked like a shaggy silver dog.

"You're always so serious," Akihiro said. "You're already worthy. We can't let ourselves get pulled down by all this, can we?"

He handed Kakashi his headband back, and while Kakashi tried to wrangle his hair Akihiro moved to the kitchen. Kakashi stood to help him, but Akihiro waved him away. "I can stand just fine," he said. "It's sitting that's difficult. I have a surprise for you."

He brought back a piece of paper. "Anko and your friend Gai came by earlier. She left you something. I thought this might cheer you up."

_Dear Kakashi, _

_ Asuma found me and Gai and told us what happened. Don't worry about it getting out though. He just told us and Kurenai, and we're not telling anyone else. Remember what we said in the hospital that day? We still mean it. We're all bound together._

_ I'll come by later. In case you need to find me I'll be training in field five until noon, and then I'm going to get some lunch. I have a few meetings after that, but I'll be home by eight. If you aren't around by nine I'll come to your place._

_ XXXOOO _

_Anko._

_ (P.S.) Gai made me write Yosh! here, because he's Gai. Sorry about that._

"She…she left me a schedule," Kakashi said.

"Is that good?" Akihiro asked.

"Anko doesn't do schedules," Kakashi said. "I can't find her at all some days."

"She must really care about you then," Akihiro said.

"She does," Kakashi said. "I never know which mood I'm getting, but I like when she's like this."

"Your other friend is…interesting," Akihiro said.

"Oh, Gai? Yeah. He's weird, but he's a good friend."

"What does this mean?" Akihiro asked, holding his arm out and his thumb up.

"Gai does that. I guess it means that everything's going to be ok. Either that or that he's about to do something dumb and awesome."

"Let's hope he meant the first," Akihiro said, "because he told me to make sure you knew he felt that way."

"That's just Gai," Kakashi said.

Kakashi pulled out a bottle of pills and put them on the table. "I'm supposed to start taking these tonight, but I think I'll wait until after I deal with the police. I don't know what jutsus they might use on me, and I don't want to be physically distracted. The side effects can be bad."

"It's probably a good idea," Akihiro said. "Have you had any more problems?"

"No," Kakashi said. "Dr. Yamanaka said until we learn more about my triggers we just have to be careful and observant."

"Let me know if you smell blood again," Akihiro said.

Akihiro pulled the chair out. "Alright boy. Now you can help me."

Kakashi helped him into the seat. "Are you ok? You seem worn out today."

"I had to fight a little ninja last night. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've done anything like that?"

"I'm sorry, sir."

"It's not your fault. I'm just tired. This old body doesn't like what I did last night, but it's good to know I can still fight if I have to."

A Genin arrived with a summons for Kakashi. "You're needed at the Hokage's office," she said.

"I have to go," Kakashi told Akihiro after the Genin left. "I'm glad we talked."

"Me too kid," Akihiro said. "Try to be home about six if you can. Your father should be here then."

Kakashi thought life might be getting a little better. Anko was in a good mood, which was important, and his friends and family were with him. If he could just get a couple more things in line he would feel all right again.

_No you won't, _he thought. _Don't lie to yourself._

Kakashi decided to be happy for at least a while. He thought about the people who cared for him, and when his eye began to ache a bit he focused on the reason Obito gave him the eye, not on his death.

Rin's mother was staffing the Hokage's receptionist desk, and she smiled when she saw him.

_I'm glad she's not mad at me, _Kakashi thought. Rin's mother might share her name, but they didn't have much else in common, and she didn't have Rin's warm nature.

"The Hokage is busy right now," she said. "Can we talk a bit?"

"Yes ma'am," Kakashi said.

"Did you talk to Rin before she left the village?" her mother asked.

"I didn't know she had left," Kakashi said. "I wondered why I hadn't seen her. I thought about coming to your house, but she didn't want to talk to me the last time I was with her. Obito's death hit us both hard."

"I know," she said. "She didn't want to talk to any of her friends when she came back. The police questioned her, and she came home and packed her things. She just told me that there was a long-term medical mission leaving in an hour, and that she wouldn't be back for a long time – if ever. She wouldn't say why. She didn't even tell me where she was going."

"I don't know anything," Kakashi said. "I wish I did."

"Let me know if she contacts you," Rin's mother said.

"I will," Kakashi said. "I don't think she'll keep in touch with me. I'm sorry."

The intercom sounded. "I can take another appointment," the Hokage said.

"Go on in," the receptionist said.

The Hokage leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his neck. He stretched, and Kakashi heard a distinct "pop".

"I'm too old to be sitting here doing so much paperwork," he said. "I guess we might be called the Leaf because of how many trees we kill for paper."

Kakashi forced himself to chuckle politely at the humorless joke.

"I spoke with the Chief of Police earlier," Sarutobi said. "You know that they want to interrogate you?"

"I know," Kakashi said. "I'm ready to get this over with. I have enough things to do without worrying about the police."

"I told him not to proceed without orders, but he's barely under my control," the Hokage said. "I have an inside source who informed me that you're the talk of their clan right now. The Uchihas say they want justice, but I bet a few of them just want you dead. My source says that they plan on taking your eye by force if you're found guilty. I'm afraid the Chief of Police has a personal grudge."

"Surely he isn't like that," Kakashi said.

"He's one of those people who think that because he has justice at heart he has the right to dispense it. I'm going to be at your interrogation myself. I want to do this soon, before the police act on their own. Be ready tomorrow morning. I'll contact you with an exact time after I speak with the Chief of Police."

The Hokage asked him about his time with Dr. Yamanako. "Once I start taking the medicine I can't take missions outside the village until we know how it will affect me," Kakashi said. "I'll be ready for missions as soon as I can be."

"I know you will," the Hokage said. "Be wise when you try to recover. You push yourself to the point of breaking, and I think that would be especially bad right now. We're not at war, and the village isn't in danger. We need you for the long-run, so focus on getting well."

When the Hokage released him Kakashi wanted to find something to distract himself. According to Anko's letter she would probably be in meetings about now, and Gai would be training with his team for the rest of the day. Kakashi had never known any ninja to train as much as Gai.

He didn't know how to feel about Rin. She was his responsibility, but now she'd taken herself away from him. _I'm sorry Obito, _he thought. _She doesn't want me to protect her._

He decided to get lunch, and he found Asuma and Kurenai eating ramen together. Kakashi stood back, watching them be silly together. Asuma took the end of a noodle that Kurenai was trying to eat and put the end in his mouth. They slurped the noodle until their mouths met. Kurenai giggled.*

_I wonder if Anko and I will ever be like that. _ Kakashi thought. He didn't think so, and he didn't really want Anko to be cute. He liked Kurenai, but he always wanted Anko to be wild and free.

He sat by Asuma and ordered a bowl of pork ramen. "What's up, lovebirds?" he asked.

Kurenai leapt off her stool and hugged him from behind, almost knocking him off the stool. "I'm glad to see you," she said.

Asuma rolled his eyes. "Where have you been, Baka? You're not easy to find sometimes."

"I just had a lot to do today."

"You always have a lot to do," Kurenai said.

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm a Jounin. "I'm in charge of organizing missions sometimes, and you wouldn't believe the paperwork that goes with the job. It's insane."

He didn't tell them about the police. There wasn't any reason to worry them.

"Did Anko and Gai find you?" Asuma asked.

"They left me a note at home," Kakashi said.

The ramen came, and Kakashi turned his attention to his food. If living at the Morinos had taught him something, it was that good food deserved respect.

When they were finished Kurenai whispered, "come outside. We have something to show you."

They went around to the back of the building. "Why all the secrecy?" Kakashi asked.

"If my Dad finds out, he'll kill me," Kurenai said. "See this?" she said, pointing to a simple gold chain around her neck. She pulled the chain, and it slid out from under her shirt. A small gold ring hung from it.

"I have one too," Asuma said, touching a chain that ran under his own shirt. He held Kurenai's hand. "We're engaged."

"Can you do that?" Kakashi asked.

"If we don't tell anyone," Asuma said. "When we get old enough we're going to get married."

Kurenai giggled.

"You're eight!" Kakashi said. "There's no way you can keep this a secret for ten years."

"It will be fun to try," Kurenai said, and she blushed brightly.

Kakashi wished them well, even though he wasn't really sure what they were doing. It didn't make sense to plan something ten years away.

He could see them ending up like Akihiro and Mother someday.

_What will Anko and I be like? _He wondered. Not like that – that was for sure. He couldn't picture Anko at home cooking for him, and there was no way she'd ever be cuddly in public. That mental picture of Anko as a wolf among dogs formed in his head again.

_I like her better as a wolf anyway, _he thought. _Anko should never be tamed._

His day was looking better. _I get to see Dad, and I know when Anko will be home today. This is going to be a good day._


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Kakashi made sure he was home by six. He was excited to finally get to see his father again.

Sakumo arrived shortly after Kakashi, and he introduced himself formally. Mother was in the room, and Sakumo held out his hand to Kakashi. "I'm Inuzuka Shun. I'm going to help you with your therapy. I've had similar problems in the past, and the Hokage thought that you might be able to talk with me freely. Dog people tend to get along, eh?"

It was entirely unlike Sakumo's usual way of talking. "It's nice to meet you, Shun-san. Dr. Yamanako said you would be coming over."

After the brief staged conversation for Mother's ears, Sakumo and Kakashi went to his room. "I wish you could drop the henge," Kakashi said.

"Wait to talk," Sakumo said. He used a jutsu, and Kakashi saw a shimmering light around the walls for just a second before it faded.

"What was that?" Kakashi asked.

"It's a useful jutsu that muffles sound. It's great if you think there might be prying ears. You have an affinity for Wind Jutsus. You could probably learn it."

He began to make the hand signs for the jutsu, but then he stopped. "Use your Sharingan," Sakumo said. "Let's find out how much that eye can see when it's looking at someone using a jutsu."

Kakashi pulled up his headband and activated the Sharingan. It was always active, in a way. He could never make his eye look normal like other Uchihas, and if it was uncovered he felt chakra leaking out slowly.

When he used the Sharingan he could see his father's chakra signature.

Sakumo made the signs for the jutsu, and Kakashi could see the chakra spreading out from his body and stopping at the walls. It coated the walls like honey, and moved up to the ceiling and over the floor. Kakashi walked to the wall and looked more closely. His father had trapped a two inch layer of air between the chakra and the wall, and it acted as insulation.

"I can see how the chakra moves and forms," Kakashi said. "It's amazing."

His father was giving him an odd look. He was smiling, but his eyes looked sad. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"It just makes me happy to be teaching you again," Sakumo said. "I've missed you."

"Why do you look kind of sad then?"

"I'm just a bit sad, Kakashi. It doesn't mean anything. We'll focus on what we can have together, huh?"

Sakumo showed him the jutsu again, and Kakashi enjoyed just being with his father.

"I heard about what happened," Sakumo said. "I'm sorry they couldn't find me. I'm moving out soon, and I'll leave you my address before I leave."

Kakashi pulled out the scrap of paper from his pocket. "I already have it," he said.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" Sakumo asked.

"I have to go see the police tomorrow," Kakashi said. "They're going to interrogate me about Obito."

"I wondered if that would happen," Sakumo said. "They don't waste any time, do they?"

They were interrupted by a timid knock at the door. "Dinner is ready," Mother said. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like," she said to Sakumo.

"Thank you, but I really should be getting home," Sakumo said.

She showed him out and stopped him on the porch. She took his hand in both of hers and looked at him with moist eyes. "Thank you for helping our Kakashi," she said. "He's such a good boy. I'm glad the Hokage sent someone."

Sakumo looked into her earnest, trusting face and felt like a heel. _The lie is for her comfort, _he thought. "I'll be back," he said. "I made it through this, and Kakashi will too."

There was so much more he wanted to tell her. He wanted to thank her for caring for his son when he couldn't. Kakashi had needed a mother for so long, and Sakumo wanted to tell her what it meant to him that his boy finally had that in his life, but he couldn't.

Kakashi received a communication from the Hokage later. A Genin delivered a letter that simply said, "be at the Police Station at 8:00 A.M. Prepare yourself mentally." There was no signature, but Kakashi didn't need one. He'd seen enough of the Hokage's handwriting to recognize it by now.

"They want me at the Police Station in the morning," he told Akihiro.

"It's better to get these sorts of things done sooner than later," Akihiro said. "They fester over time. Do you want me to come with you? The Uchihas won't dare try anything with me there."

"I would, but Ibiki has to work with them, and I don't want you being there to cause problems for him. The Hokage will be there, and I can't really believe that the Chief of Police would do anything so unjust. I don't know how they'll interrogate me, but they won't find anything that supports their suspicions."

"I'm not familiar with interrogation tactics," Akihiro said. "You know we'll be here when you're done. Unless you have other orders I want you to come straight home and get some rest, understood?"

His tone of voice suggested that argument would be a bad idea. "Yes sir," Kakashi said.

Ibiki didn't come home that night, and Kakashi wasn't sure how he felt about it. He was glad Ibiki was able to stay with friends again, but he hoped the Interrogator didn't cause him problems. He did enjoy having the room to himself.

Kakashi made sure to be prompt for his appointment the next morning. He'd never been in the police station before, but he wasn't surprised to see that almost all of the police were Uchihas. Talk stopped when he entered the building, and he felt embarrassed at all the attention. Every eye seemed focused on him. He kept his head up and back straight as he walked. He wouldn't give them any physical sign of discomfort. It was what they wanted.

The Chief of Police met him. "This way," he said. He took Kakashi into a room with a two way mirror. The room had folding chairs set up, and Kakashi could see another room through the mirror, a room with two chairs and a light – nothing else.

He decided he must be in an observation room. The Hokage was there, with a group of other people. Three Uchihas watched Kakashi with blank faces, but Obito's parents didn't try to hide their misery. Obito's father stood slightly behind his mother, with one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hand.

Kakashi hadn't thought about what they must be going through. "I'm so sorry," he said.

"Before they question you, I want you to know we believe you're innocent," Obito's father said. "Even if we don't know you well, Obito did, and his judgment about people was always good."

Obito's mother stepped toward Kakashi. "Can I see my son's eye one last time?" she asked.

"Of course," Kakashi said. He raised the headband, aware that the Hokage and the other Uchihas were watching.

Obito's mother touched his cheek. "It's like there's a bit of him alive," she said.

"Deactivate the Sharingan, the Chief said. "We take that as a sign of intent to attack."

"I can't entirely," Kakashi said.

"Then cover it," one of the other Uchihas said. "I don't want to look at my kinsman's eye like this."

Kakashi did as he was told. This wasn't the time to antagonize them needlessly.

The Chief opened the door, and the man who had ordered Kakashi to cover his eye motioned toward a door leading into the examination room. When Kakashi went through the door he felt a hand push him in the small of his back, and he stumbled forward a bit.

"Sit down," his interrogator said. Kakashi sat and waited while his interrogator looked through a few papers. Kakashi glanced at the two-way mirror. "I know Obito's parents," he said. "Who were the other two?"

"Did I say you could ask questions?" his interrogator hissed. "You will wait while I finish my notes and then answer my questions."

Kakashi sat quietly, waiting as the man read through a paper. _He's just fucking with me now, _Kakashi thought. _I should tell The Interrogator how this feels from the other side later. He'll probably want to know._

His interrogator glanced at Kakashi's hand. Kakashi realized he had been tapping absent-mindedly on the arm of the chair. _I have to stop doing that, _he thought.

"Are you nervous, Kakashi?" the interrogator asked.

Kakashi decided it was time to begin defending himself. "Of course I'm nervous. This seems more like a judge and jury than an interrogation."

"If you're innocent no harm will come to you," the interrogator said. "You'll be free to leave. If I find sufficient reason to prosecute you then you'll be under arrest."

"I'm going to use a jutsu on you, and you will tell me the truth," the man said. "It's up to you how painful this becomes. If you attempt to lie to me you'll have physical pain. The harder you struggle the worse the pain."

He pulled Kakashi's mask down roughly. He activated his Sharingan, and as Kakashi saw the black specks in his eye move a feeling like an electric shock went through him. It wasn't that the world changed around him in any way, but he was extremely aware of that eye. He felt it pulling at him, trying to control him.

"Don't fight me," his interrogator said. "You'll regret it. Answer my questions to the best of your ability."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Hokage watched from the observation room. Obito's mother was crying silently, and her husband was obviously mostly concerned with her misery. He recognized Uchiha Kyo, a medic. The medic stared toward the mirror, and the Hokage wondered if he was there for personal or professional reasons.

"He's about to begin," the Chief said. "Thanks to interference from the Hokage we won't be using any physical techniques, but Ryo-san in there is our best interrogator. He will get us the information we're looking for.

"You aren't going to torture him, are you?" Obito's mother asked.

"We'll use mental jutsus, and if he doesn't fight us or try to lie he won't be tortured. How bad this becomes is entirely up to him."

Ryo began the interrogation. "Are you responsible for the death of Uchiha Obito?" he asked.

Kakashi didn't answer. His mouth worked and his brows moved in concentration. The Hokage saw Kakashi wince and put a hand to his head.

"He's conflicted about how to answer," the Chief said.

"I'm going to ask you again," Ryo said. "I'll apply pressure this time. Be honest with me or this will hurt."

The Chief turned to Obito's father. "He'll feel like he has to tell the truth. If he doesn't this might be difficult to watch."

The Hokage wished he could interfere, but it was up to Kakashi to handle this. If he was lying it was on his own head.

"Are you responsible for the death of Uchiha Obito?" he asked. He made a few quick hand signs and touched Kakashi's arm. Kakashi had been repetitively tapping on the chair, but his fingers stopped. His eye took on a sleepy, dulled look, and he slouched in his chair.

"Yes," Kakashi said.

Obito's mother gasped and the Hokage saw Obito's father's jaw drop.

"Did you kill Obito?" Ryo asked.

"No."

"Did you assist someone else to kill him?"

"No."

"In what way were you responsible for his death?"

Kakashi didn't answer. His body jerked and he screamed.

"What happened?" Obito's mother asked.

"He's either unable or unwilling to answer," the Chief said. "He might be lying, or he might be unsure of the answer. This only pulls out the truth as the suspect sees it. Ryo will probably go a different route."

Ryo made the hand signs again, and Kakashi fell back into his trance. "Did you like Obito?"

"Sometimes," Kakashi said.

"Did you hate him?"

"No."

"Did you ever want to hurt him?"

"No."

"Tell me your dominant thought about Obito."

"He should be alive, and I should be dead."

Obito's mother put her hand over her mouth. "I don't understand," she said. "Why would he say that if he's responsible?"

"The mind is complicated," the Chief said. "Ryo will find out."

"Tell me your dominant thought about your teammate Rin."

"She shouldn't blame herself. It was my fault."

"Why was it your fault?"

Kakashi didn't answer. The watchers saw his small body jerk again, and this time he gripped the arms of the chair and shook his head.

"What the hell was that?" Kakashi asked.

"You're fighting me," Ryo said.

"I'm not," Kakashi said. "I don't even remember what you were asking me."

"That's because of the jutsu," Ryo said. "Compose yourself. Don't fight me."

He made the hand signs again and touched Kakashi. When he saw the influence of the jutsu on Kakashi's face he continued.

"What is your dominant thought about Obito's eye?" Ryo asked.

"He's still with me," Kakashi said.

"How are you responsible for Obito's death?"

Again Kakashi was silent. This time when he screamed he bent over, holding his arms around himself and panting.

"Chief, make him stop, please," Obito's mother said.

"Let the interrogation continue," the Chief said. "We need to find out what happened to Obito, and this is the only way. I have the medic here in case he's needed."

"Stay where you are," Ryo said to Kakashi. He went into the interrogation room.

"I can keep this up, but it will damage him, and the Hokage said not to injure him."

"I'm not letting this go," the Chief said.

"There is another way. I generally use the simpler method because I can get more direct results. This way isn't as sure, because it's more subjective, but we will learn how Kakashi feels about what happened. He couldn't or wouldn't give us facts before. This will work."

"Will it damage him?" the Hokage asked.

"It might," Rho said. "If he fights me this time there will be no question as to whether it's rebellion or ambivalent feelings. He'll tell me what he feels. We can go back and ask more factual questions afterward, with better direction."

"I can't just ask him about Obito's death directly," Ryo said. "This works better if I lead up to it." He looked at Obito's parents. "You might learn things about your son that are disturbing. Do you think you might want to leave?"

"No," they both said at once.

"Very well," he said. He went back into the room. Kakashi was sitting upright again. "Take off your shirt," Ryo said.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Do as you're told," he said.

Kakashi pulled his shirt off. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Ryo hit him across the face with the back of his hand. "What did I tell you about asking questions?"

The Hokage didn't interfere. This was an interrogation, and a little slap was nothing compared to what might be about to happen.

Ryo pulled a kunai and cut himself along the arm. He began to make symbols on Kakashi's chest with his own blood, and then along his shoulders and face.

The Hokage saw raw fear on Kakashi's face.

Ryo made hand signs and put his palms on Kakashi's chest. The symbols glowed blue and then red.

"Tell me how you feel about Obito," Ryo said.

"He's a hero."

"Why is he a hero?" Ryo asked.

"He gave everything to us," Kakashi said. "He never even considered saving himself."

"Describe what happened that lead to Obito's death. Tell me whatever you feel is relevant."

"Rin was captured," Kakashi said. "I wanted to continue with the mission, but Obito insisted we go after her. We managed to free her, but we were attacked. We almost escaped, but the cave we were in was collapsing around us. I didn't see a large rock falling from the ceiling, and it hit me in the back and knocked me down. I saw a boulder falling, but Obito threw me out of the way. It hit him. I couldn't push it off, and he was dying. There was so much blood. I smell it sometimes – his blood. He was crushed. He asked Rin to transfer his eye to me. I didn't want to do it, but he begged her. He wanted to be with us somehow."

"Then why did you have trouble answering me when I asked you if you were responsible for his death?"

"I was team captain. It was my fault. I should have listened to Obito, but I was too stubborn."

"Is that the only reason you feel responsible?"

"No."

"Tell me why you are responsible for his death."

"I don't know," Kakashi said, "but I'm alive and he's not. It has to be my fault."

Ryo stood and looked toward the mirror. "We're done here," he said. "There was nothing involved but an unfortunate death and some survivor's guilt."

The Chief stepped into the room. Kakashi sat in the chair, still under the influence of the jutsu.

"Release him Ryo," the Chief said. "There's no reason to keep him here."

Ryo put his hands on Kakashi's chest, and the symbols on his chest dulled and faded away. He put a hand on Kakashi's head, but instead of returning to normal, Kakashi's eye closed and he slipped from the chair onto the floor.

"I need a medic," Ryo said. The Hokage followed the medic into the room.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," Ryo said. "The jutsu does have an adverse affect at times."

"His pulse is normal, and he's breathing," the medic said. "We should get him to the hospital."

The Hokage knelt by Kakashi. _He looks so tiny right now, _he thought. He pulled Kakashi's mask over his face.

When they had Kakashi in a room the Hokage stayed as doctors came and went.

When they were alone he summoned a small monkey. "Find CROW. Tell him to come here at once. He should be at his parents' house around now. Make sure you aren't seen."

He opened a window, and the monkey ran.

CROW arrived silently and looked at Kakashi on the bed. "What are your orders?" he asked the Hokage.

"Kakashi was interrogated and found innocent, but he didn't come to when they were done. Have you heard anything that might suggest this was intentional?"

"No, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Let me look."

Kakashi's headband had been removed, and Itachi pulled Kakashi's eyelids apart to see the Sharingan.

"So Obito really did it," he said. "He must have thought of Kakashi as a brother."

"Why do you say that?" the Hokage asked.

"It's not important," CROW said. "I'm going to try to find out what happened to him."

From the Hokage's point of view it seemed as if Itachi simply looked intently at Kakashi with his Sharingan activated, but he knew that complicated manipulations of chakra were happening right in front of him.

"I see what happened," CROW said. "This jutsu would keep him in a coma until another Uchiha releases him. It requires a Sharingan to detect and remove."

"Is there any chance that this could have been an accidental side-effect of the jutsu that was used on him?"

"None at all," CROW said. "This was intentional. If I hadn't seen this he would have slowly wasted away in the hospital until someone decided to let him die."

"Bring him out of it," the Hokage said.

Itachi leaned close to Kakashi and used his fingers to hold his normal eye open. In a moment Kakashi blinked, and CROW let go of his eye.

Kakashi sat up and swung his legs over the side. "What happened?" he asked.

"You may go CROW," the Hokage said. "Report to me tonight." CROW left as silently as he came in.

"Ryo tried to kill you," the Hokage said. He used a jutsu that would have left you in a coma."

"He didn't really care if I was innocent or not," Kakashi said. "He just wants me dead because I have a Sharingan."

"This is going to cause a lot of problems," the Hokage said.

"Is there anything I can do?" Kakashi asked.

"Not really. I can't do anything about this openly without exposing CROW's actions. He took a chance helping you. I don't want his clan to find out. I'm hoping they'll assume the jutsu failed. Every jutsu can fail, even the best. For now go about your business and be alert. Keep this a secret. You can talk to Akihiro, but only him. I trust his judgment."

Kakashi went home, and before he could even say anything Akihiro said, "it was bad, wasn't it?"

"It was bad," Kakashi said. "I don't remember them asking questions, but apparently my interrogator used a jutsu that put me in a coma."

"I should have been notified," Akihiro said. "How long ago was this?"

"It all happened in a few hours," Kakashi said. He told Akihiro about CROW actions.

"What will happen is anyone's guess now," Akihiro said. "Be on your guard. But for now I believe we agreed you were going to come home and get some sleep."

"I don't' know that I could sleep right now," Kakashi said. "I feel really freaked out."

"I'll be here. Remember that I took you down quickly when I needed to. I can protect my home."

Kakashi gave in to exhaustion and went to his room. "How did it go?" Ibiki asked.

"Not well," Kakashi said. "I'm going to bed."

"It's not even noon," Ibiki said. "Are you sick?"

"Kind of," Kakashi said. He pulled the blankets over his head to block out the light.

When he woke it was dark. A familiar copper tang filled his nose. He listened, but all her heard was the sound of Ibiki's breath as he slept in the top bunk.

The alarm clock said it was 3:00 a.m. He saw a figure against the wall, and he used the Sharingan. _There's no chakra signature_, he thought_. How does he do that?_

He kept a kunai under his pillow, as did many ninjas. He reached for it quickly. _I'll make the first strike, _he thought. He leapt, but somehow the ninja avoided him. He got a good look as it moved by him. _It's that damn Iwa nin again, _he thought.

"Kakashi?"

He looked toward the bed. Ibiki was leaning over it, watching him. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Don't you see him?" Kakashi asked, pointing toward the ninja leering at them from another corner.

"Oh fuck," Ibiki said. "Dad told me what to do if this happens. Use your Sharingan. What do you see?"

"It's weird. He doesn't have any chakra signature."

"And a live person can't have that, can he?" Ibiki asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "That happened the other day, didn't it?"

"Yeah. It's not real. I know you can't see it, but it's not real."

"It's not real," Kakashi said. The Iwa nin waved at him. _Gonna kill your friends when you're not looking, kid, _he said. _You can't always protect them._

"He's taunting me," Kakashi said.

"Do you trust me?" Ibiki asked.

"Of course I trust you," Kakashi said. "It has nothing to do with this."

"Where is he right now?" Kakashi heard. It was the voice of the Interrogator.

Kakashi pointed. The Interrogator moved fast – much faster than Kakashi had ever seen Ibiki move. He moved through the Iwa nin.

"You moved through him," Kakashi said.

"Because he's not there."

"It's a trick," Kakashi said. "It's some sort of clone. We need to warn Akihiro and Mother."

The Interrogator moved beside Kakashi. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," Kakashi said, and for the first time he felt like his life was in this man's hands.

"Hold out your arm."

Kakashi held out his arm, and the Interrogator cut him along the arm, a long shallow cut. He dropped the kunai and grabbed Kakashi's arm with both hands, twisting in opposite directions.

Kakashi pulled his arm away, but he realized what had just happened.

"Are you back in the present?" the Interrogator asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I'm ok. I can't believe that didn't wake Akihiro."

"It is odd," the Interrogator said. "We know how to pull you back on the battlefield, at least."

"I need to take care of this," Kakashi said, looking at his arm.

"Try not to wake my parents," Ibiki said. "It really is weird that Dad didn't wake up."

Kakashi went to find bandages, and Ibiki went back to sleep. Neither of them noticed the ninja that was really in the room with them. He was in the upper corner, just over the dresser. He blended with the shadows and wood. There was no jutsu involved, but an enormous amount of skill.

_That's right, _Akihiro thought as he looked down at his son sleeping. _I'm twice the ninja either of you will ever be. _He knew his leg would punish him for this later, but at least he hadn't had to hurt Kakashi. _I had to know how he would deal with this without me here._

He made his way along the ceiling almost like a spider, finding handholds most people would never have seen. He watched from another room as Kakashi bandaged his arm.

"Have a problem boy?" he asked.

Kakashi jumped. "When did you get here?" he asked. "I didn't see you come in."

"That's because I didn't mean for you to see me come in," Akihiro said.

"You're not using your walker," Kakashi said.

"Observant boy, aren't you? I felt like taking a walk, so I put a little chakra in the old leg. I have to get around somehow. Or I might have thought that you boys needed me."

"You know, don't you?" Kakashi asked.

"I know," Akihiro said. "You and Ibiki seemed to have handled things well."

"How do you know what happened?" Kakashi asked.

"I can't tell you all my secrets now, can I?" Akihiro asked.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

In the morning Kakashi stared at the bottle of pills Dr. Yamanako had given him. _I hope these don't make me too sick, _he thought. The list of side effects was frightening, but it was better than taking the chance of hurting the people he cared for. It would probably be a few days before any side effects kicked in, and most of them might fade in time. He wouldn't know until he started.

He took the pill, feeling almost as if he was losing control of his life. _I haven't had control in a while, _he thought.

He went to the training fields, and he chose the one where Team Minato had last been together and just looked at it. _Did I really say those hateful things to Obito when we trained here? _ He wondered. His eye ached, and he rubbed it gently.

"Having trouble with the eye?" he heard behind him. His Sensei was there.

"It hurts sometimes," Kakashi asks. "It's not important."

Minato stood beside Kakashi with his hands behind his back. "This was our favorite field, wasn't it?"

"It's a good place. I like the rough terrain," Kakashi said.

"There are a lot of memories here, aren't there?" Minato asked.

"I wish I'd valued them more," Kakashi said. "I feel like I can't ever make up for what I did."

"We all make mistakes. You're young, Kakashi. Over time this will become a faded memory, and you'll move on. I know it feels like nothing will be better again, but you'll see worse things in your life. I was soft with you three. I trained you physically, and I tried to teach you a good way to live, but I shielded you from the realities of life."

"I was ANBU," Kakashi said. "I think I know about harsh reality."

"Do you? Have you ever had something affect you like this?"

"Once, a long time ago," Kakashi said. "I had a bad mission, and it still comes back to me in my dreams."

"How did you deal with it before?"

"I talked with my father. It was bad for awhile, but I learned that he was right in what he told me. He said that I have to keep a part of myself intact – that I had to learn not to bring what happens on the battlefield home."

"Have you forgotten that lesson?" Minato asked.

"I don't know how to do it right now," Kakashi said. "It's too raw."

"I know how you feel. Obito was a good student and a fine person. I feel like I should have had you three better prepared. You feel like you failed as a team captain. Rin feels like she was too weak, and that Obito died directly because of her. Did it ever occur to you that the Rock Nins were the ones who did this, not us?"

"I hadn't thought about it," Kakashi said.

"No, because you were grieving, and that's ok," his Sensei said, "but you're a ninja. If we were civilians we could let such a thing take years to ferment or heal, but we're not. You might lose many comrades over the years. You might lose one this month. I'm not saying it's wrong to hurt for them, but if you blame yourself for every death you shouldn't be a Jounin. You'll send people out to die, Kakashi. Sometimes you'll have to sacrifice people intentionally."

"It makes Obito's death seem trivial," Kakashi said. "I don't want him to be just another ninja that died."

"But he is," Minato said. "He's another Konoha hero that gave his life for his village. All of them are equally important – equally heroes. We have to accept his death and move on." He looked back at the training field and wiped newly wet eyes.

"Then why are you crying, Sensei?" Kakashi asked.

"Knowing what is wise and doing it are two different things," Minato said. "I'll never forget Obito, but I'll have other missions, and I might have to risk other students' lives. We have to let Obito's acts guide us, but we can't let his death control us."

"Sensei, that's not a path I can walk," Kakashi said. "I carry part of Obito with me. I can't treat this as if he was just some ninja. What you're saying sounds logical, but I can't do it."

"Then don't," Minato said. "Perhaps I shouldn't have said those things. It's my way of dealing with the many friends and family that I've seen die over the years. If you keep on this track you'll be a miserable man."

"I don't know if I deserve to be happy," Kakashi said.

"I hope you find out differently in time," Minato said. "I still respect you. I wish you would respect yourself again. You're barely the person I knew before."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked.

"Have you really not noticed?" Minato asked. "Perhaps no one's mentioned it because they didn't know both you and Obito very well. It is subtle."

"What?"

"Obito used to stand with his hands in his pockets, not you."

Kakashi realized he'd been doing exactly that and pulled his hands out of his pockets self-consciously.

"He also used to stand like that, with one foot slightly pointed away from the other. I noticed it because it seemed as if he was always about to flee or attack."

Kakashi moved his feet so that they were parallel to each other, as he usually stood.

"What do you mean by this?" he asked.

"What I mean is that I don't want to see you deal with this in a destructive manner."

Kakashi's eye ached, and he rubbed it absently. "I think that might happen if I want it to or not. It won't stop me from serving the village. I won't let Obito's death stop me from doing my duty."

"Good," Minato said. "That's what I'm concerned about as a ninja. I'm also concerned about you as a person I care for."

"I'm getting help," Kakashi said.

"You can talk to me any time," Minato said, "but I've decided that you'll have to find another Sensei. We're too bound by this. I'm not letting it show, but I'm grieving as well. I think we'd distract each other."

"You're probably right," Kakashi said. "I don't know that I need another Sensei. I need to work on my Sharingan jutsus, and since the Uchiha clan hates me there's no one to teach me. I'm going to have to recreate their research on my own. I don't know that anyone can guide me in this."

"Do as you must," Minato said.

Kakashi stayed at the training field after Minato left, just thinking until a team arrived that needed to train. He walked aimlessly, trying to decide what to do next. _If I can just find some sort of answer I can move on, _he thought. The problem was that he really didn't know the question yet.

He wasn't one to let his mind wander. It was dangerous, and he tried to be aware of his surroundings. _I used to yell at Obito for that, _he thought. He had been day-dreaming, something he'd never done in his life.

He stopped walking, and he found himself looking at the memorial stone. He had been here once before, and he found Obito's name immediately. He ran his finger over the carved words, "Uchiha Obito".

_I didn't decide to come here, _he thought. _Sensei says I'm aping Obito's physical habits. I feel things more deeply than I ever did in my life, just like Obito. I always thought that he was overly sensitive._

"What are you doing to me, Obito?" he asked.

The sun was setting. _Have I really been standing here for hours? _Kakashi wondered. _Shit. I missed Dad's visit, _he thought. He ran home, hoping his father wouldn't be angry with him.

"You missed Shun," Akihiro said. "He said he can't come by for a couple days, but he'll visit Saturday about six."

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said.

"It's not like you to be late," Akihiro said.

"I was at the memorial stone," Kakashi said. "I didn't realize how much time had passed."

"Are you having problems again with the Iwa Nin?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I'm just disturbed by a few things my Sensei said. He can't teach me any more. He said we'd distract each other because of how much we grieve for Obito. He thinks I'm not dealing well with Obito's death."

"I don't know that anyone deals well with a comrade's death," Akihiro said. "You have to do what you can to heal, and then you have to move on. It's too soon for the moving on part, but you're already trying to deal with the death, and that's all you can do right now. He might have been speaking out of his own pain. You have to find your own path. No one can do it for you."

"There are leftovers in the fridge," Akihiro said. "Why don't you eat and try to rest? Thinking about such things too much will just make you more depressed."

"Thank you, but I'm not hungry," Kakashi said. "I think I'll just do some reading. The Uchihas aren't going to teach me, so I'm going to study genjutsu that have to do with sensory perception. It's as good a place as any to start."

Ibiki was gone, and Kakashi found himself wishing he was there. He didn't really want to be left alone with his thoughts. He delved into the book. He'd never been terribly interested in sensory type jutsus. It wasn't his strength. But the Sharingan seemed to be a way of extending his senses. At least that was what he assumed. He might learn different.

He heard a slight movement at the window, and a tap. There were just a few quiet noises.

He turned off the light and pulled out his kunai. _If it's the Iwa Nin I need to remember that he's not real, _he thought.

He activated the Sharingan, and he could see the chakra outline of a human. There was a lot of chakra, and it was powerful. The man opened the window and slipped inside the room with a fluid grace. He crouched, and Kakashi suddenly saw two Sharingans looking directly into his own. It was as if two bright red lights had appeared in the darkness.

"You can deactivate your Sharingan," he heard, and he knew the voice.

"You first, Itachi," Kakashi said.

"Do you want to try yourself against me so soon?" Itachi asked. "You won't win. I doubt you could even scratch me."

"I can fight in my own right," Kakashi said. "I was your equal before I even had this eye."

"I doubt it," Itachi said. "I'd like to test myself against you sometime after you've become stronger, but that's not why I came. Turn on the light. We have things to talk about. Let's go somewhere where we can't be overheard."

Kakashi used the sound-muffling jutsu. "We can talk now." He turned on the light.

When Kakashi got a good look at Itachi he saw that he had dressed for night-ops. He was wearing dark blue, and he had smeared his exposed skin with dark makeup to hide better. "This has to stay between us," Itachi said. "If my clan knew I was here we would both be in trouble."

"I'm not really talking to anyone in your clan," Kakashi said. "It won't be a problem."

"I don't need to warn you of the Uchihas' motives," Itachi said. "I didn't know Obito. I only know his name because the entire clan curses him as a traitor. Only his parents don't see him that way, and they're being ostracized for it."

"If I'd known how much damage this would cause, I would have refused Obito's offer," Kakashi said.

"Obito had to know," Itachi said. "Only an absolute fool wouldn't know the politics of the Sharingan."

_That was Obito at times though, _Kakashi thought. His friend has been foolish when his emotions pushed him.

"Obito was a traitor," Itachi said. "I don't know why he did that, but he's brought more trouble to my clan than he could have ever imagined."

Itachi pulled a book from his pack. "This is a text we use for our children when they discover the Sharingan. Every copy is kept in a vault and leant out under close supervision. We value the secrets of the Sharingan that highly. Use your Sharingan to copy it so I can return it to the vault."

"Why would you do this?" Kakashi said.

"You need to become stronger, fast," Itachi said. "There are people in my clan who want to kill you, and if they do then the Hokage will strike back. Then my clan will strike harder, and soon there will be a civil war. I don't want to see Konoha plunged into chaos."

"How many people want me dead?" Kakashi asked.

"Just four at the moment," Itachi said, "but they are vocal. We have our own councils, and anyone who wants to come is allowed. The last session was entirely about you. Most of the Uchihas reluctantly accept that you were innocent in Obito's death, and they are content to try to hurt you politically. The elders have said we can't kill you, but I really don't think it will keep someone from trying. If you can fight one of them off the clan won't try again. We're not fools."

"You seem to assume no one can beat an Uchiha without the Sharingan," Kakashi said. "You people are tough. You're not immortal."

"And you're not as strong as the people you'll be facing," Itachi said. "I remember the times we worked together, and I respect your skills, but you might as well be a Genin fighting a Chunin. The Uchihas who want you dead are not weaker members of the clan."

He pointed to the book. "Activate your Sharingan and scan the pages quickly. Later you can activate the Sharingan, close your eyes, and pull it from memory. You'll be able to see it like a normal book, and you can read it at your own pace. Do it quickly."

"And then what?" Kakashi said. "I'll get farther with this than I would have on my own, but it's hardly going to stop a powerful fighter."

Itachi looked at the ground and clenched his hands. "God damn you for making me do this Kakashi. I hate you like I've never hated anyone in my life, because I've only been disloyal to my clan so far, but now I have to betray them entirely. You'd better make good use of what I'm about to tell you. If you ever hurt the village or use that eye frivolously I'll kill you."

"I didn't ask you to do any of this," Kakashi asked. "You don't have to continue if it costs you so much."

"This village is everything to me," Itachi said. "I will do whatever is necessary to protect it – anything, no matter how reprehensible or dishonorable."

"As will I," Kakashi said. "You're not that much older than I am. Quit talking to me like I'm a child. I'm a Jounin of this village, and I've carried such a responsibility for years."

"You're about to carry another one," Itachi said. "No one has ever told a non-Uchiha this. We can be fought, but only a Sharingan can really be strong against another Sharingan. I don't think you'd ever be able to beat an adult, legitimate Sharingan user, but you could be strong enough to counter the effects enough to escape."

_I'll show him who is strong, _Kakashi thought.

"I'll be stronger than you think," Kakashi said. "I really do want to fight you now. There's more to me than you know. You Uchihas are too arrogant. You're only a part of the village, not the whole thing."

"You speak like a child," Itachi said. "Scan the book and read it quickly. I'll come back in two days and we'll continue from there. I'm going to teach you enough to defend yourself against the Sharingan. Then you're on your own."

"I share this room," Kakashi said. "We should meet somewhere else."

"There's a warehouse on Jiro St. You'll know it by the blue door with white graffiti of a dagger dripping blood. Meet me there at midnight. If anyone asks, tell them it's a mission. It might as well be. You and I are going to protect the village."

He left without even waiting to see if Kakashi accepted the agreement.


	32. Chapter 32

AN: Some frank discussions about puberty. Lots of kissing. Kakashi is a sloppy kisser, lol.

Chapter 32

Kakashi lay in bed after Itachi left, with his anger gradually building. _Itachi is such a prick sometimes, _he thought. They worked well on missions, but he usually didn't deal with him as Itachi. CROW was a no-nonsense, vicious fighter that put the mission before everything else. Itachi was a conceited jerk.

_A man has to have his pride. _He'd heard Jiraiya say it at times, and his father too. _I've been apologizing for everything lately, _he thought. _I used to be proud. I'm tired of cringing. Obito did that, not me._

His eyes snapped open. _Obito did that. I need to ask Itachi about that. The Sharingan is so clouded in mystery I have no idea what it might mean to take one as a non-Uchiha. _

He knew he should be grateful to Itachi, but he wasn't used to being treated like that. He'd been treated like a child enough times, but Itachi disregarded him because he wasn't an Uchiha. He said he respected him, but Kakashi thought it was the way an adult might respect a retarded child for being the smartest retarded child in the room.

_We are not starting this with that attitude. I will show him that we're equals._

The next day he had a bit more time to himself. With the war over and the ninjas returning to more or less normal lives, the village was able to streamline itself a bit. Missions and the economy of Konoha once again took precedence, and he didn't have to deal with the massive piles of paperwork that troop movements, supply demands, keeping up with the dead, etc… demanded. He wished there was a better way to do things, but there were never enough Jounins. It was better to be understaffed in that area than to promote someone who couldn't handle the job.

_Like Dad, _he thought.

"Your father was a hero," he heard.

The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and he turned to see Obito sitting on his desk. Half of his face was crushed, and Kakashi could see that his arm was broken in several places, as well as his leg. A bleeding gash in his side stained his clothes.

"Obito?" Kakashi asked.

"How is Rin?" Obito asked.

"She's fine – last I heard. She doesn't want anything to do with me. She left the village."

"Rin left Konoha?" Obito asked. Half of his brow knit in concentration. The other half wasn't visible through the blood.

"She's going to be a long-term medic somewhere far away. I don't know where. She didn't say goodbye."

"You promised to look after her!" Obito said. "It was the only thing I asked of you!"

"She doesn't want to be looked after," Kakashi said. "Maybe she was weak because we always protected her. She can grow strong out there and protect herself."

"Do you really think I held her back?" Obito asked. "I only ever wanted the best for her."

"I don't know," Kakashi said, "but we have to let her make her own way. It's time to let her go."

"What about me?" Obito asked. "When will you let me go?"

"Are you a ghost?" Kakashi asked. "I thought you were a hallucination."

Obito rolled one eye. "Ghosts aren't real, Baka. You did this. And while we're talking about that, why did you have to make me just before I died? At least you left me an eye to see with, but you could have hallucinated me earlier in my life."

Obito looked down at himself. "This sucks. You are seriously fucked up in the head – you know that?"

"So I'm learning," Kakashi said. "They've put me on medication. I don't know if I'll see you again, but I'm glad you're here, even if I did just imagine you."

Akihiro knocked on the door and came in, looking around. "I know Ibiki is gone right now. Who are you talking to? Are you seeing the Iwa-nin again?"

"No sir," Kakashi said. "I was just talking to Obito."

"I see," Akihiro said. "Is he in the room now?"

Kakashi pointed toward Obito. "I'm sorry about the blood on the floor. I'll clean that up as soon as he leaves."

"There isn't any blood on the floor, Kakashi. Do you feel threatened?"

"No," Kakashi said. "It's nice to have him around, even if he is half crushed and still mouthy."

Obito stuck his tongue out at Kakashi. A small part of his jaw fell off, and Kakashi cringed.

"You do know he's dead though, right?" Akihiro asked.

Obito waved cheerfully from the desk. "I'm very dead, sir," he said.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "He's dead."

The image of Obito began to fade. "And now he's gone."

"You sound like you don't want him to leave," Akihiro said.

"I need to know that he forgives me for failing him. I was supposed to protect our other teammate. Obito loved her, and it was his last wish. She left the village and doesn't want to talk to me again."

"I would think that a boy who gave his eye to his friend would forgive him for being unable to keep a promise. He must know that if it was within your power you would do it."

"I hope so," Kakashi said.

"It's still going to be awhile before that medicine kicks in," Akihiro said. "Let me know if Obito comes back. I know it's a positive experience for you now, but it might be bad later. I'm trying to keep an eye on your symptoms."

"Thank you sir," Kakashi said.

"While we're talking – I'm glad that Itachi is going to help you with the Sharingan."

_How the hell does he know about that? _ Kakashi wondered.

"Very little happens in this house that I don't know about," Akihiro said.

"Have you put me under surveillance?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing so complicated as that," Akihiro said. "I know some useful jutsus for detecting intruders and for concealment. I'm not going to invade your privacy any longer than I have to, but you are in a dangerous place at the moment mentally."

Kakashi couldn't feel affronted. He'd been concerned about hurting his family. What Akihiro was doing was logical. "I understand."

"He's a cold one," Akihiro said. "Watch out for him."

"He's a loyal ninja," Kakashi said. "He's a prick though."

"Language, boy," Akihiro said.

"Sorry, sir."

"Don't tell anyone else about this, even Ibiki. It's going to get Ibiki killed if it gets out, and probably you too. If the Uchihas ever know what's going on here everyone you love is in danger."

"I understand."

They heard the front door slam. "Hey, what are you two up to?" he asked, tossing his pack in the corner."

"Just some guy talk," Akihiro said. "You want to help me up?"

Ibiki lifted his father.

"Don't be late for Shun if you can," Akihiro told Kakashi. "I want you two to talk."

"Yes, sir."

"So, what's with this Shun guy?" Ibiki asked while he changed. His scars had ceased to bother Kakashi.

"He had some of the same problems I'm having, and the doctor thought that since we're both dog people we'd get along. I'm just supposed to get to know him and talk to him about what's happening."

"I'm getting in good with the police," Ibiki said. "They say I have a natural talent. It's not me, but they don't know that."

"What will you do if they find out?"

Ibiki shrugged. "I'll figure that out if it happens."

"I actually have a day off today," Kakashi said. "I haven't had a full day off in forever."

"You want to do something tonight?"

"Sure."

Kakashi went to the bookstore, somewhere he rarely managed to find time to visit. He was walking by a section marked, "Health and Wellness," when he noticed a bright orange book out of the corner of his eye.

He ducked into the section and saw that the book was there, and a cheap paperback. _I need to return Gai's book, _he thought, _and if I can read it I still win the challenge._

He _really _wanted to know what was in that book, but when he tried to buy it the cashier said, "sorry, but I can't sell that book to someone your age."

He gave her the book back and left the store, but as soon as he was out of site he teleported inside. He didn't know any other ninja that could do it, but if he had been in a place inside Konoha he could simply make himself appear there sometimes. It didn't always work, and when it did he left a flurry of leaves for some reason.

He reappeared in the Health and Wellness section and slipped another copy of the book into his pack. He saw that the manager was up front, and his small office in the back was empty and the door open.

He couldn't teleport into a place he hadn't been, so he sneaked in there. It wasn't hard. He was just trying to fool civilians.

He put enough money to cover the price of the book on the manager's desk. He left a note. _This is for a book I took. Please put it in the till._

_That should still be honorable, _he thought. He teleported back to the sidewalk and tried to decide where he could hide and read the book. He didn't want to lose another copy to Akihiro, and hiding in a ninja village could be complicated. The best hiding spots might be being used by another ninja.

He couldn't go home, and his old home had already been sold to another family. _Jiraiya probably isn't home, _he thought.

He couldn't teleport into it. Jiraiya had seals around his house to alert him of intruders, just like Akihiro. Any chakra that close would set off loud alarms.

_It's a good thing he gave me a key, _Kakashi thought.

He left the lights off. Enough natural light came in for him to read by, and he didn't want anyone wondering why a light was on. It was daylight, and no one would have noticed, but there was no harm in being extra safe.

He sat on the couch and skipped ahead to where he'd been in the book. She had just told the farmhand she wanted him to kiss her.

_Finally, _Kakashi thought. _I get to find out what happens next._

The farmhand kissed her and pulled up her skirt. "I'm a virgin," she said.

"I'll be gentle," he whispered.

_What the hell is a virgin? _Kakashi wondered.

As he kissed her the farmhand slid his hand under her skirt, up her thigh, and under her panties.

_This is more like it, _Kakashi thought.

He rubbed her clitoris, and she moaned. _That doesn't make any sense, _Kakashi thought. People moan when they're in pain. He doesn't sound like he's hurting her.

"Nope," he heard his uncle say from behind him as he pulled the book out of Kakashi's hands. He'd been too into the book to notice Jiraiya's presence.

"Oh come on!" Kakashi said. "I need to know what happens next!"

"While I appreciate a new fan, you can't read this until you're much older."

"How am I supposed to find out what happens after kissing?" Kakashi asked.

"I guess we need to have another talk," Jiraiya said. "I got an anatomy book."

A woman's sleepy voice came from the bedroom. "Jiraiya-kun, come back to bed." Kakashi saw a tall blonde step out of Jiraiya's room, wearing his long shirt and nothing else.

"Whoa," he whispered. He'd never seen so much of a woman's legs in his life.

She squeaked and jumped back into the room.

Jiraiya sighed. "Just what I need – another complication."

"What is she doing here?" Kakashi asked.

"We were about to do what comes after kissing," Jiraiya said, "for the third time today. Come back tomorrow and we'll talk."

Jiraiya practically pushed him out of the house, and Kakashi sulked. _So close, _he thought.

_I bet Akihiro knows more about this, _he thought. _Why are the adults keeping this a secret from me? _

As he walked into the house, Kakashi caught a quick glimpse of orange as Akihiro slipped a book into his jacket pocket. A small part of the book stuck out of his pocket, and Kakashi could just see the top of a little red heart.

Mother was knitting in the corner, and Kakashi felt that he shouldn't discuss this in front of her. He wasn't sure why, he just felt like it would be wrong for some reason.

"Can we go outside for a bit?" Kakashi asked.

"Sure," Akihiro said.

Mother chuckled. "Go have your man time."

Kakashi saw her and Akihiro exchange a smile. When they were safely on the porch and away from Mother, Akihiro asked, "what did you need to talk about?" He took a drink of his lemonade.

"What's a clitoris?" Kakashi asked.

Akihiro choked on the lemonade, spitting a bit out. He wiped his chin.

"Well, at least you had the good sense not to ask that around Mother. In one day you went from dealing with a dead teammate to asking about the clitoris. What were you doing today?"

Kakashi almost lied to Akihiro, but he didn't want to betray his trust like that. Not to mention that Akihiro would probably catch him. "I was reading," he said.

Akihiro held out his hand. "Give me the book."

"Oji-Jiraiya got it before I could get very far. I didn't find out anything."

"That's just as well. I told you not to be reading stuff like that yet, but I guess that's a lot to ask."

Kakashi glanced at the book peeking out of Akihiro's pocket. Akihiro followed his glance and blushed. "It's a good book. It's just too old for you."

"Oji-Jiraiya said that he had an anatomy book, and that he'd talk to me about all this tomorrow, but I want to know what a clitoris is today. He had a woman with him, and he chased me out."

"It's a part of a woman that men don't have," Akihiro said.

"Why would someone rub it?"

"Oh, God damn," Akihiro said. "You couldn't have wanted to know where babies come from, now could you?"

"I don't care about babies," Kakashi said. "Dad told me about all that anyway."

"Ok, when two people care a lot about each other…"

Kakashi waved his hand impatiently. "I've heard that part too." He tapped his fingers on the side of the chair.

"Manners, Kakashi," Akihiro said.

"Sorry, sir."

"Men and women have different parts that are very sensitive. When you're an _adult _you'll enjoy touching each other. It's fun, and it makes people happy."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"Trust me; if you do it right it's a lot of fun."

"Then why are only adults allowed to do it?" Kakashi asked.

"That's where babies come from," Akihiro said. "The man makes a baby inside the woman, and she pushes the baby out. Then the man and woman have to take care of the baby. You don't want to do that until you're old enough to handle it emotionally."

A few pieces of the puzzle finally clicked in Kakashi's mind. "Oh, like when the dogs mate. I didn't quite get it before."

"Does that answer your questions?" Akihiro asked, hoping he was finally going to be able to escape.

"Sure," Kakashi said. "Thank you. I have to go take care of some things. I just came home to ask you about that."

"You came all the way back here to ask me about sex?" Akihiro asked with a smile.

"Well yeah," Kakashi said.

"And you thought of me first? Thank you Kakashi. It means a lot to me that you came to me first."

Kakashi helped Akihiro up and left to finish his chores. There wasn't much to do, but he wanted to make sure he was home by six to see his father.

_I thought of Akihiro first, not Dad, _Kakashi thought. He felt guilty for that, but he also knew that it was bound to happen sooner or later. He remembered thinking that he was going to change and leave his father behind, but he hadn't realized it would start so soon.

Akihiro watched Kakashi walk away and closed the door. He turned to Mother. "I'm so glad Ibiki doesn't care about girls yet."

"Is that what that was about?" she asked. "He's so young."

"Yeah. He's an early bloomer – really early."

"Kakashi is going to give us some adorable grandchildren someday," she said.

"Hopefully not too soon," Akihiro said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi saw Anko heading toward him and waved.

"Hey," she said. "Where have you been since I've seen you last?"

"Just working," Kakashi said. "I've been busy."

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Anko asked, and Kakashi thought she looked nervous.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"When you didn't come by I thought I might have done something to make you mad."

"Did I say I'd come by? I'm sorry if I forgot."

"No, but you're my boyfriend now."

"We haven't seen each other for weeks sometimes," Kakashi said. "Why is this different?"

"I don't know," Anko said. "It just is."

"Ok. I'll come by later," Kakashi said. "Do you want to go see a movie? I actually have a day off."

"They gave you a day off?" Anko asked. "How did that happen?"

"I still had a bit of work to do, but not much. I'm going to have some fun tonight. I haven't relaxed in forever."

He felt more lighthearted after talking to Anko. He always did when she was in a manageable mood. He didn't know what she'd been so weird about at first, but her moods were too unpredictable to worry about.

He went to see an action flick with Anko and Ibiki, but he didn't pay much attention to the movie. Anko held his hand the entire time, and all he could think about was her.

Ibiki was hyper as they walked. "Did you see how that castle blew up?" he yelled, dancing around. "How many explosive tags do you think that would take? And then the guy flew! He wasn't even a ninja. It was so cool."

Kakashi didn't really remember that part of the movie. He'd been looking at Anko.

They left Ibiki at their house, still ranting about the movie. "Do you want to go down to the lake or hang out at my place?" Anko asked.

"Your place," Kakashi said.

They had to search her apartment for a snake that had escaped. "If you kept this place cleaner you could find things," Kakashi said.

"Yeah, probably," Anko said. She put the snake back in its cage. "Bad boy," she said. The snake crawled under a rock. "Don't pretend like you don't understand me. I've been working on you guys for three generations now, and I know that you understand. I keep you in the cage so you'll be safe. Be good for mama."

"You think of yourself at their mother?" Kakashi asked.

"Shh," she whispered. "They think I _am_ their mother."

He wasn't as nervous now. She was just Anko, right?

He pushed some dirty clothes off a chair and sat. "So I found out some interesting stuff today," he said.

"Like what?"

"Did you know you have a clitoris?"

Anko looked around the room. "I don't think so. I have a lot of junk in here, but I don't remember ever buying a clitoris. You can look around if you want. It might be buried in here somewhere."

"No," he said. "It's a piece of your body that I don't have. I've been asking some people about stuff, and I'm finding out a few things."

"About what?" Anko asked.

"What happens after kissing," Kakashi said. "I knew there was more, but I didn't know what."

"That's silly," Anko said. "After we kissed you were my boyfriend, and we spend more time together and hold hands."

"No, there's more," Kakashi said. "Akihiro told me about it. People mate, like the dogs do, and they have babies."

"I don't want any babies," Anko said, wrinkling her nose.

"Me neither," Kakashi said. He pulled down his mask. "Can I kiss you again though?" he asked.

She closed her eyes and kissed him, and it was as if every problem he had disappeared while his lips touched hers.

Anko pulled away and smiled. She wiped a bit of spit from her mouth. "Do you want to play Shoji?" she asked.

"Sure," he said. They played for about an hour.

"You can stay over if you want," Anko said.

"I'll come back over later," Kakashi said. "I get to see my dad soon. I missed him yesterday, and I feel bad for it."

His father was talking with Akihiro when he arrived. "Shun" gave him a hearty smile. "I hear you've been doing some interesting studies."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "Oji-Jiraiya is going to give me an anatomy lesson tomorrow. He said he has a book."

"You're asking your uncle about sex?" Sakumo asked. His face paled.

"He says he knows all about women," Kakashi said.

"He doesn't know as much as he thinks he does," Sakumo said. "I want you to listen to him when he tells you facts about the body, but if he starts telling stories you know half of them aren't true."

"That's just him," Kakashi said. "I figured out a lot of stuff today anyway. I'm sure I'll know everything there is to know about it tomorrow."

Akihiro chuckled. "Kid, if you do that you'll be the first man ever to unravel those mysteries."

Kakashi and Sakumo talked in his room for an hour or so, but it was awkward with Ibiki in there. He was working on a 3D puzzle Asuma had lent him, and Sakumo had to pretend to be Shun the entire time.

Kakashi told him about Obito.

"I'm sorry you can only remember him as he died," Sakumo said. "Try to think of him as he lived. Do you have a picture of him anywhere?"

"I had a team picture, but I don't know what happened to it."

"Meditate later," Sakumo said. "Try to remember good times with your team. Think about Obito when he was happy."

"I didn't enjoy being with them often," Kakashi said. "I was so sure they were beneath me. I know better now. I wish I'd realized what they meant to me before it was too late."

He wished he could have spoken more openly, but they had agreed to keep this a secret. "Same time tomorrow?" Shun asked.

"I can't," Kakashi said. "I'm supposed to meet with Gai most of the day. We're working on Tai-jutsu, and he insists he needs the whole day."

"I'll see you in a couple days then," Shun said. "You know where to find me. I'm always available if you need to talk."

_No you're not, _Kakashi thought. He was surprised at the bitter feeling that followed that thought, and he shut it away with a twang of guilt.

When he got back to Anko's place she'd cleaned up a bit. "It looks a lot better in here," he said.

"I need to be more disciplined," she said. "I just don't care much about this place."

Kakashi could see why. It was bare and unwelcoming, even filled with her junk. She had bought little things from the thrift store, stuffed animals and such. It made the place look a bit like a home, but not much. If anything, it just intensified the poverty of the place.

Curfew approached, and Kakashi called Pakkun. "Let Akihiro know I'm staying here," he said.

They were still talking when Pakkun returned. "Akihiro says you have to come home."

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't think so," Pakkun said. "That's all he said to me."

Kakashi dismissed Pakkun. "I guess I have to go," he said. "I'll see you when I can. Could I have one more kiss?"

It was just as good this time, and he thought he was getting better at it. His tongue accidentally slipped into her mouth a bit and touched hers. Anko's eyes opened wide, and she slid her tongue along his. It was like nothing he'd ever experienced.

They pulled apart and stood close to each other. Anko wiped her face. "Wow," she said.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "Wow."

"That was more than kissing," Anko said. She suddenly looked frightened. "Do you think we just had sex?"

It hadn't occurred to him, but they _had _done more than just kiss. "I don't know," he said.

"I don't want a baby," Anko said. "I've never even baby-sitted before. I don't know what to do with one."

"I think it's ok," Kakashi said. "We didn't do it for long. I'll ask Oji-Jiraiya tomorrow. He knows a lot. Dad said to listen to him about facts, but not his stories. I'll get some facts from him."

His heart beat fast as he walked home. _What if I gave her a baby? _He wondered. He hadn't known much about such things, but he'd seen Gai's mother when she was pregnant with his brother, and the whole family had treated her as if she'd break.

_I'll have to protect her, _Kakashi thought. _I can do it._

When he got home Akihiro had a stern look. "I'm afraid I'll have to be stricter about a few things," he said. "From now on when you're in town you need to stay here unless you're at a friend's house that's another boy. No more staying at Anko's house."

"Why?" Kakashi said. "I thought you liked her."

"I do," Akihiro said, "but you two are going to get into trouble. When boys reach a certain age they start to feel certain urges, and it can be hard not to do things that go beyond what you meant to happen."

Kakashi remembered that he might have already done that. "Yes, sir," he said.

"That's it?" Akihiro asked. "No questions? That's not like you."

He had wanted to stay at Anko's before that last kiss, but now he was glad to be away. It was just too much to handle today. He didn't want to tell Akihiro what had happened. He was afraid Akihiro would think less of him, and that had grown to be something he feared. He wanted Akihiro to be proud of him.

Ibiki was already asleep, and Kakashi undressed in the dark so he wouldn't wake him. When he crawled into the bed he saw that someone else was in there with him.

"Baka," Obito said. "You're going to be a father now. Have fun with that."

"Shut up," Kakashi said.

"What?" Ibiki asked from the top bunk.

"Not you Ibiki – Obito."

"Well, tell Obito to shut the hell up and let me sleep."

"You heard him," Kakashi said. "If you're going to be here let us sleep, and stop hogging the bed."

He rolled over and turned his back on his dead friend so he could sleep.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Learning New Things

Sakumo had settled into the old sisters' place, and they fussed over him and the dogs like he was their son. He managed to be other places to eat most days, and they never said anything about it.

_Things could be worse, _he thought as he put some wood in the fireplace. The house was drafty, and he planned to put some caulk around the windows and doors. That should help. The house looked so much better it was barely recognizable as the wreck he'd first seen.

Mitsuko tossed in her sleep, and Tadao opened an eye.

_He's been so protective of her since her seizure, _Sakumo thought. She seemed to enjoy the attention, but he wondered how soon it would be until she started feeling smothered. He'd never seen a canine romance before, but if she was a human woman there would be an argument coming.

Ume dozed in her chair, and her sister had already gone to bed. Her blanket slipped off her lap and onto the floor. Sakumo pulled it back over her.

"What?" she asked, blinking.

"It's ok Grandmother," he said. "You just fell asleep a bit and dropped your blanket."

"I was not asleep," she said. "I was just resting my eyes. They get tired."

"Of course," he said. He didn't mention the snores he'd heard.

"I'm going to lock up for the night," he said. "I have a full day tomorrow."

He checked to make sure the doors were secured, but before he closed up for the night he stepped out on the porch and just looked around his new home. The neighborhood looked better in the softening influence of the half-moon. The thrown-together houses and hand-made concrete or plywood walls didn't seem so prominent. _Night makes everything equal, _he thought.

Wind chimes tinkled in the distance, and he could hear people talking quietly. And then he heard a scream to the north that ended too quickly, and he remembered what sort of place he had chosen for a new home.

He went inside with a sigh. He wished he could do more for these people, but there wasn't that much someone in his position could do. He couldn't keep the kids out of crime, nor could he create jobs or a new life for the felons. All he really seemed to be able to do was help them physically, and that was the least of what they needed.

All in all, it wasn't such a bad life. People accepted him here. It was more than he'd thought he'd get.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi woke up in the morning, and as soon as he was fully conscious he remembered what had happened the night before.

_I am in so much trouble, _he thought. He hoped his uncle could help him, but if he'd made Anko pregnant he'd just have to deal with having a baby around.

He stewed about it all through breakfast, and he was glad that Gai wanted to practice. He got his ass kicked, as expected.

"You need to go slower," Kakashi said. "You move so fast I can't see what you're doing. I want to improve."

"I don't know if I can go slower," Gai said. "It's something that's second nature to me now. Sometimes I plan things, but more often my body just reacts."

"I have an idea," Kakashi said. He pulled up his headband and activated the Sharingan. "Try it again."

Gai came at him, but this time Kakashi saw how he moved in perfect detail. He understood why he was slow as he watched Gai move and flow around him.

"You're getting better!" Gai said.

"It's like I can see everything you're doing," Kakashi said. "I can almost predict your moves."

They practiced most of the day, and he was sore and tired when they were finished. They sat against a tree and drank some water.

He wiped the sweat off his forehead and put the headband down. It had used a lot of chakra to keep his eye open that long, even without using any jutsus. He'd have to find a way to work on that.

Kakashi had the ability to put things entirely out of his mind when he was working, but when he walked away from the training field he remembered that he needed to find Jiraiya.

_He's going to be so pissed, _he thought.

Kakashi knew some of Jiraiya's favorite places to eat in town, and he was at one of his favorite tea-houses, and he motioned for Kakashi to sit down. He was finishing up his meal.

"I guess you came by to talk, huh?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "There are some things I really need to know."

Jiraiya laughed. "You're too young to be so serious about this. Relax."

"I can't," Kakashi said. "I need to talk to you in private. It's really important."

"You look worried," Jiraiya said.

"I really am," Kakashi said.

"Meet me at my place then," Jiraiya said. "I'm going home soon."

"Thanks," Kakashi said. He teleported, and a confused waiter nearby was left to wonder how leaves had gotten into the tea-house.

Kakashi fidgeted outside Jiraiya's house, and when he went in he couldn't sit still. _I wonder where he put my book, _he thought, but he didn't search for it. It seemed wrong to do that. His uncle had trusted him with a key, and it would have been a betrayal of that trust to prowl around in his belongings.

It seemed like an eternity before Jiraiya arrived. Kakashi watched impatiently as he locked the door behind him and took off his shoes.

_He's moving this slow on purpose, _Kakashi thought.

"You want to tell me what's got you so riled up?" Jiraiya asked. He sprawled on his couch.

"You remember what you told me about babies and stuff?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah. We were going to talk more about that today."

"Last night I was over at Anko's, and, um…"

Jiraiya sat up, and Kakashi thought that he suddenly had all of his attention. "And what?" Jiraiya asked. "You can tell me. You know I'll keep it to myself."

"You won't even tell Dad?" Kakashi asked.

"You can trust me to keep your secret."

"I kissed Anko, and then…something else happened." Kakashi took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck while he tried to put the rest of his thoughts together. "I think I might have made Anko pregnant."

Jiraiya's jaw dropped open. "But you're seven. Can seven year olds even do that? I mean, I knew you were developing fast, but… No. Anko probably isn't fertile."

Kakashi let out a deep breath. "So you think we're ok? It just happened. I don't want a baby."

"It's probably ok," Jiraiya said. "I hate to ask for details, but I need to know more about what happened. Did you come inside her?"

"What?" Kakashi asked. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ok. Were you inside her when you finished?"

"I pulled my tongue out of her mouth. Is that what you're asking about?"

"Her mouth?" Jiraiya asked. "That's not what I meant."

"I don't know what you mean then," Kakashi said. "We kissed, and I put my tongue in her mouth. You don't think I made her pregnant do you?"

Jiraiya laughed, wrapping his arms around himself. "You really scared me, brat."

"It's not funny!" Kakashi said. "You said what happens after kissing makes babies."

"That's not what I meant," Jiraiya said. He took an anatomy book from the side table. "We really do need to talk. Sit down. We're going to start with how men and women are different."

Kakashi looked at the pictures. They were line diagrams with various parts of the body labeled. "I've seen things like this before," Kakashi said. He started pointing out various pressure points. "It's like what Sensei used to show us how to strike pressure points."

"This isn't about anything military," Jiraiya said. He pointed to the female picture's genitals. It was a very vague drawing. "Do you know how men and women are different here?"

"Sure," Kakashi said. "I'm not dumb. Guys have a penis; women have a vagina."

"How did you find out about that?" Jiraiya asked.

Kakashi shrugged. "I know enough about the body to fight. I know about the different parts of the body, but I don't know what that has to do with anything."

Jiraiya pointed to the vagina. "That's where babies come from. Did you do anything to Anko there?"

"No!" Kakashi said. "Why would I want to do that?"

Jiraiya explained more to Kakashi, who couldn't believe that women made babies from the places they urinated.

"It doesn't seem very efficient," he said.

"That's what you have to say about this?" Jiraiya said.

"Well, you have to admit there could be some improvements."

"None that I can think of," Jiraiya said. "Do you have any more questions?"

"Not for now," Kakashi said.

Jiraiya pulled a small box from the side table. "It took me some doing to find ones this size," he said, pulling out a condom. "You're too young for sex, but if you end up doing more than you should I want you to be safe."

He used his finger to show Kakashi how to use one, and when Kakashi left with the box in his pocket he felt awkward.

"Thanks for helping me," Kakashi said.

"No problem," Jiraiya said. "You should probably go tell Anko that she's not pregnant. She doesn't have a female that she can talk to, does she?"

"I don't think so," Kakashi said. "People don't like her much."

"No, I suppose they don't," Jiraiya said. "I'll see what I can do about that. I'm not explaining this to her, but I have a few female friends."

He ran to Anko's place with a lighter heart. _I'm so glad there isn't going to be a baby, _he thought.

Anko looked worried. "Did you find anything out? I didn't know who to ask."

"I talked to Oji-Jiraiya, and he said what we did is safe. He told me all kinds of stuff. Apparently you make babies inside you when…um…"

He blushed. He didn't know why, but he couldn't talk about this with Anko.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I just feel weird talking about this with you."

"But we talk about everything," she said.

"I know, but this is different. Oji-Jiraiya said he's going to find a woman for you to talk to."

"Fine," she said. Her bottom lip stuck out a bit, and he knew she was angry. "I didn't want to talk about it much anyway."

"Anko, don't be like that," he said.

"Like what?" she asked. "I'm sure you know what's wrong, since you know more than me now. I bet you think you know everything, don't you?"

"What?" he asked. "What did I do?"

"You know what you did," she said. "You can go home now. I have things to do."

"I hate when you get in these moods," he said. "I'll see you later."

No one was around when he got home, something that was rare. He wished the house wasn't empty. He'd been used to an empty house when it was just him and his father. His father got so many missions he spent a lot of his time alone. Now it seemed odd, like the house itself had lost something.

He went to his room and pulled out a condom, slipping it onto his finger. "That's just weird," he said, putting the box under his bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The Hokage waited in his office for his visitor. He had purposely left the widow open, and when Itachi slipped in, Sandaime closed the window and pulled the blinds.

Itachi was dressed for night ops again. He wasn't doing this as CROW. He was doing this as Itachi. He couldn't have explained the difference, but there was one. CROW carried out orders and did his missions flawlessly. Itachi gave his very soul to help protect the village in any way he was needed.

"You're sure no one saw you?" the Hokage said.

"I'm sure," Itachi said.

"How did it go with Kakashi?"

"We're meeting tomorrow night," Itachi said. "It might work. He could fight off weaker Uchihas, and most of the mid-range ones. I don't think he could deal with one of the stronger ones yet."

"Do you think that when you're done with him he'll be able to?"

"He has a lot of natural talent," Itachi said. "I've never heard of a non-Uchiha having a Sharingan before. There were Uchihas that had other Uchiha's eyes, but that would work differently."

The Hokage decided not to ask how it worked differently. Itachi was probably uncomfortable enough with his position as go-between between the village and his clan. He didn't want to push.

"How are you handling this?"

"I'll protect Konoha, and if that means helping Kakashi with his traitor's eye then I'll do it."

"You consider Kakashi a traitor?" the Hokage asked.

"No – Obito. Kakashi probably had no idea what he was getting into, but when I saw that eye all I could think was I wanted to pluck it from his head. I used to like Kakashi. I hate him so much now that I would love to kill him, but I won't."

"Your village appreciates your sacrifice."

Itachi grunted. "I accepted the position of Jounin without any delusions. I knew I was in for trouble."

"You're dismissed," the Hokage said. "Keep up the good work."

Itachi left the way he came, and as the Hokage looked out on Konoha he wondered at what he'd just seen. The whole time that Itachi had explained his hatred and deep feelings his face had never moved. He might as well have been discussing what he'd had for lunch.

Sandaime felt guilty for how he had to use Itachi, but not all tools were used for honorable purposes. Some had to do dirty things, and then some had to be disposed of.

He hoped it didn't come to that. There was still a chance that Itachi could find a way for him to work with the Uchihas.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

By the time Ibiki got home Kakashi was dying to tell someone about what he'd learned. He barely gave Ibiki time to get into the room and close the door.

"You are not going to believe what my uncle told me," he said.

"Did he teach you a new jutsu?" Ibiki asked. "I've heard he's one of the strongest ninjas in the village. I bet he knows, like, a hundred."

"No," Kakashi said. "He told me all about women."

"Oh," Ibiki said, obviously disappointed. "I thought it was going to be something interesting."

"It is," Kakashi said. "You remember that pressure points picture?"

"Yeah."

"That part right around here on a woman," Kakashi said, motioning to his crotch, "the vagina. You remember that?"

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Women make babies in there. I didn't care about that, but you would not believe how they're made."

"Geez you're weird sometimes," Ibiki said. "What kind of ninja gives a fuck about making babies?"

Kakashi saw that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Ibiki. He gave up and lay down, trying to think of how he was going to show Itachi that he was his equal. Kakashi knew he was a formidable fighter, even without the Sharingan.

_I've seen him use that eye in every serious fight, _Kakashi thought. They'd worked together five times, with three battles, and it seemed like Itachi only used tai-jutsu to get himself into a position to use his eye.

_He's overconfident, _Kakashi thought. _He depends too much on his Sharingan. I'll use that against him. We'll work as equals or not at all._


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Something wet, slimy, and luke-warm woke Kakashi. He sat up and tried to wipe off the drool covering his face. "Fucking A," he said.

"What's wrong?" he heard from the top bunk.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." He had to use the edge of the comforter to clean his face. His pillow was soaked.

_I guess the side effects are starting, _he thought. It had been in the literature Dr. Yamanako had given him.

Kakashi wasn't sure what to do about it, so he turned the pillow over to hide the evidence. _I can't let Ibiki find out about this, _he thought.

His mouth felt and tasted nasty, so he went to the kitchen to get some water. _If I drink more water, will it make it worse? _ He wondered. He didn't know, but he figured he couldn't afford to get dehydrated.

"Something wrong?"

He jumped. Akihiro was behind him, suddenly and without warning. "How do you keep doing that?" Kakashi asked.

"Talent," Akihiro said. "What has you up at 4 am?"

A deep sense of shame filled him. "Nothing," Kakashi said. "I was just thirsty."

"Ok then. I'm going back to bed."

_He wasn't dressed for bed, _Kakashi thought. _When does he sleep?_

He wondered if Akihiro was staying awake in case there was trouble. _I'm tired of causing him problems, _Kakashi thought. He lay on his back, hoping it might stop the drooling. _If this is the worst that happens I'm doing well, _he thought, but he couldn't imagine doing this on the battlefield. Ninjas slept in close quarters, and the thought of waking up with his comrades laughing at him kept him up. _They'll think I'm just a little kid, _he thought. He'd worked for years to keep people from thinking of him that way.

_There has to be something I can do about this, _he thought.

He woke on his side, as he usually slept, and his pillow was covered in drool again. Thankfully, Ibiki was gone for the morning, and he probably didn't see anything.

The washroom was in the back, and he snuck back there, hoping that he could wash the pillow without getting caught. It wasn't loud, and if someone heard him once he had it in there he could just say he was doing laundry.

Mother was in the room folding clothes, and she saw him with the pillow just as he put it behind his back.

"What are you doing with the pillow?" she asked.

"Nothing," Kakashi said. He couldn't think of a good lie. He didn't want to lie to her anyway. He could feel his face turning red. He could hide his emotions, but there was no way that he knew of to hide a blush. It was just a natural reaction.

"Let me see what's behind your back," she said.

"Really, it's nothing," Kakashi said.

"Kakashi, show me," she said. Her tone had changed, and he knew he'd better obey. He held the pillow out, trying not to look her in the eyes.

"Side effects?" she asked.

"You know then?"

"I have the same problem," she said. "I sleep with a mouth guard. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Kakashi was just glad she understood.

"Give it to me," she said. "You can't just throw a pillow in the washer. I'll take the cotton out and wash it."

"I could just buy another one," Kakashi said. "I don't want to put you through any trouble."

"There's no use throwing away something that can be fixed. And I want you to remember that you never have to be ashamed with me. You're not the first boy I raised."

It was easy enough to get a mouth guard. He didn't even have to get one made; he just went to a pharmacy and got a cheap one for dental use. He made an appointment with the doctor to be measured for one, but the cheaper one would do for now.

Kakashi spent the next four hours experimenting with his new eye, and he found that he could use it in a limited way for a long time if he stuck to using it for observation.

He went to one of the training fields and watched Asuma train with his team. Asuma was using a wind technique, something Kakashi had seen but not spent any time learning. He turned the Sharingan on Asuma, studying his movements. When he'd seen the jutsu several times he used the memory to recreate the jutsu. It worked perfectly.

Kakashi felt slightly dizzy, and he sat down. _I can't use it too much yet, _he thought.

Asuma's team finished, and Asuma waved at Kakashi. "Dad said I could have some friends over tomorrow. You want to come?"

He almost said yes. He'd come to terms with the Hokage's part in his father's punishment, and his house was a fun place to stay. Then he remembered the drooling.

"I can't," he said. "Maybe next time."

"That's too bad," Asuma said. "I got a new board game."

Kakashi had never really cared for board games anyway.

"Where's Anko?" Asuma asked. "You two have been together a lot lately."

"I'm trying to avoid her today," Kakashi said. "I'm tired of getting yelled at."

"I like Anko, but I don't know why you'd want to be her boyfriend," Asuma said.

"I just really like her," Kakashi said. "She's really nice a lot of the time; she's just crazy mean sometimes too."

He went home, hoping his father had come to see him. He was chatting with Akihiro in the disguise of "Shun". When they went to his bedroom he saw that his pillow had been laundered and replaced.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Kakashi said. "I've been having trouble running late recently."

"I don't mind," his father said, "but don't let that turn into a bad habit."

_Why the hell is he giving me advice? _ Kakashi wondered. He felt disloyal, but the question stuck in his mind.

He forgot about it as they talked, and he told him more about his training and Anko, leaving out the embarrassing parts. When Mother called him for dinner he was disappointed. The time always went by too fast.

"I want you to come see where I'm living now," Sakumo said when Mother had closed the door again. "There are some people I'd like you to meet."

Kakashi was curious about his father's new life. "I can come over tomorrow afternoon," he said.

"If the old women I live with offer you anything to eat, try to excuse yourself if you can get away with it. They're generous, but they're really bad cooks."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi made sure to let Akihiro know he had a mission that night. He didn't need any more trouble at home.

Itachi was waiting for him at the agreed place. "You're late," he said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "I got lost on the road of life." He'd be damned if he was going to apologize to Itachi.

"Let me see your eye," Itachi said. "I want to check a few things before we begin."

Kakashi had put a lot of thought into how to deal with Itachi. He knew that Itachi only respected people who were strong.

"We need to get something straight first," Kakashi said. "I'm your equal. Don't talk to me like I'm a subordinate."

"Don't try to be above yourself," Itachi said. "You're good, but you'll never be my equal."

Kakashi made a clone, purposefully putting a large amount of chakra into it, leaving himself with less than half of his original chakra. It was a risky move, and one that he wouldn't want to use in battle unless he absolutely had to, but he wanted to see how Itachi reacted. It wasn't just for pride; he might be fighting another Uchiha soon, and he wanted to see if it was an effective technique.

He and his clone grabbed a kunai at the same time, and they moved to the sides. Itachi could only attack one person, and he went after the clone.

_That's what I thought he'd do. He used the Sharingan to see which one had more chakra. _It only made sense. If Itachi incapacitated the original, the clone would vanish.

Itachi leapt back and activated his Sharingan. _He really does depend on that too much, _Kakashi thought. While Itachi dealt with his clone, Kakashi was already moving toward him from the other side. Both of them moved quickly, but Itachi's jutsu hit the clone before Kakashi got to him.

The clone stopped, and its eyes drooped. It stood still. Itachi tapped it on a pressure point and it dropped. The clone vanished in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi knew he just had a moment before Itachi collected himself. Even with the element of surprise he was barely able to kick Itachi in the back before he'd recovered his composure.

Itachi landed on his back and leapt up, facing Kakashi. Kakashi put his kunai away, signaling that he wanted to stop fighting.

"Now do you concede that we're equals?" he asked.

"I concede that you're a formidable opponent," Itachi said. "That's the best you're going to get from me."

"It's good enough for now," Kakashi said. "The next time you want to feel superior, remember that I caught you by surprise."

"We've wasted enough time," Itachi said. "I can't do this for long. Every minute I'm away from home is another minute someone might notice I'm gone. I left a clone in my bed, but it's still risky."

He showed Kakashi a simple fire jutsu. "Use your Sharingan to copy it."

Kakashi did, and he flawlessly repeated it, creating a small amount of flame in his hand.

"Good," Itachi said. "I see that you can copy jutsus. I'm going to show you a few incapacitating jutsus. They're not strong enough to do any damage, but your attackers won't know you'd have them. The talk around the compound is that you can't do much with the Sharingan without someone to teach you."

"I hate how much I'm being talked about."

"You and me both," Itachi said. "That Obito was more trouble than he was worth."

"Don't talk about Obito that way!" Kakashi yelled. "He was a true hero."

"Really Kakashi? Children show their anger like that, not ninjas."

Kakashi collected himself. _I used to be much better at emotion control. Obito was the one that flew off the handle. Fuck._

"I need to ask you about something weird that's been happening," he said in a calm voice. "Did the other people who took a Sharingan from another Uchiha have problems with some sort of personality swap?"

Itachi gave him a blank look.

"I've been acting a lot like Obito, and I don't know why. Is this something that happens?"

"No," Itachi said. "I haven't come across anything like that in my studies, and I did a lot of reading on Sharingan swaps recently. You're probably just crazy."

"I guess," Kakashi said. He wasn't sure if what Itachi had told him was good or bad. Obito wasn't taking over him, but that meant there was some other reason he was acting so weird.

"You and Obito must have been like brothers," Itachi said.

"Yeah. I wished I'd realized it before he died, but I value him now."

"You're the only one who does," Itachi said.

Kakashi decided not to let Itachi bait him. Itachi showed him a few basic moves that he could use to train his eye. It wasn't much, but he could move on by himself. "You probably can't use it much yet," Itachi said. "It pulls a lot of chakra, and I can tell you barely have adequate reserves to begin with."

"I do just fine with the chakra I have," Kakashi said. _I really have to quit letting him get to me like this, _he thought.

"The earliest I can do this again is next week," Itachi said. "Work on it till then and let me know how it goes."

Itachi prepared to leave the window, but he turned back and gave Kakashi a long, piercing look.

"What does Konoha mean to you?" he asked.

"Everything," Kakashi said.

"You'd better be careful when you say that," Itachi said. "You have no idea what it could mean someday."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was after two when he got home, and he snuck in as quietly as he could, but he knew that just because he didn't see Akihiro didn't mean that Akihiro didn't see him.

_I could just look for his chakra. _He activated his eye and saw a chakra signature under the floor.

"How are you under the floor?" he asked.

Akihiro rose through the floor. "Saw through one of my tricks, huh? I guess since you know I might as well teach you the jutsu sometime. It's really useful. I used it to pull an opponent under the ground until only their head was showing. Then you can question or kill them at your leisure."

He saw something odd as he entered his room. Ibiki's blanket was lifted over him, forming a tent.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

Ibiki pulled the blanket off. He was lying on his stomach with a flashlight. "Shh," he whispered. "I'm supposed to be asleep, but I have reading to do."

He leaned over the bed just as Kakashi was putting in his mouthpiece. "What's that for?" he asked.

Kakashi pulled it out again so he could talk. "I need it to sleep right." _Please let him quit asking questions, _he thought.

"Since when?" Ibiki asked.

"Since now," Kakashi said. "Quit being nosy."

"Fine, Mr. Cranky. I have better things to do than talk to you anyway." He went back to reading.

The mouthpiece was awkward, and he would get a bit of sleep and wake up again. He kept rolling onto his back when he woke, but every time he fell asleep he turned to his side in his sleep. The doctor had told him that sleeping on his back would help, but it wasn't easy.

Kakashi woke from a couple hours of sleep and kicked the blankets off. He wiped his face. He had managed to keep from drooling all over himself, but he was covered in sweat.

_When did it get so hot in here? _He wondered. He sat up, choking down nausea. _I think I hate this medicine._

He went to the bathroom and wet a towel with cold water. He bathed his face, trying to cool himself down. The cold cloth felt wonderful, but he still felt miserable and a weakness threatened to overtake him.

Kakashi bent over the sink and poured water directly over his head. He leaned on the sink and then sat on the floor as the dizziness grew worse.

"You ok?" Akihiro asked. Kakashi wasn't even surprised to see him outside the door.

"Not so much," Kakashi said.

"I'll help you to your room," Akihiro said. He started to make the hand signs to open the Heart Gate, but Kakashi stopped him.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself," he said. "I can make it."

He had to lean against the wall as the floor seemed to move under him, but he managed to make it to his bed with Akihiro behind him.

"I'm going to get Mother," he said. "This is more her area."

He saw Ibiki leaning over the bed. "Are you sick?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "Medicine, I guess."

"Leave him alone," Akihiro said. "You'll just tire him out more."

Kakashi lay in bed, hot and miserable. He'd never been so sick in his life, and he began to feel sorry for himself.

_I'm not going to cry like a little kid. I'm not going to cry like a little kid, _he thought to himself, but his eyes were wet, and he couldn't stop himself. He buried his head against the pillow so Ibiki wouldn't hear him.

He heard movement and looked up to see Mother crouching by his bed. She wiped tears away from his cheeks. "What's wrong, dear? Are you sick?"

Kakashi was so glad to see her he didn't even feel ashamed that she'd seen him cry. "I think it's the medicine," he said. "I knew this might happen."

She put the back of her hand against his forehead. "You're burning up! I'm going to get some water."

She left the door open, and Kakashi heard her fussing around in the kitchen.

Ibiki leaned over the bed again. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I don't know," Kakashi said.

She came back with a bowl of water and a few washcloths. She put a wet cloth over his forehead, and it felt like heaven. She put another under his armpits and one spread across his chest.

"I think we should call a medic," she told Akihiro, who was outside the door.

"I'd rather not," he said. "Kakashi has a lot of enemies right now, and the last thing he needs is to announce to the village that he's weak. If his life seems to be in danger I'll get a doctor, but until then we should take care of him."

It was sound logic, but Kakashi really wished he could have seen a medic.

His fever grew worse, and he moved to a nightmare world of hallucinations. He could feel someone moving his head, and he felt the pressure of a hand in his. Voices reached him from a distance, but could only hear occasional, blurred words.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Kakashi lost all sense of time. If he could have described how long this was taking, he would have simply said, "forever." Someone was moving him. He could feel hands on him, shadowy things that he couldn't push off. The world was dark, but there was still sensation – a cold, sharp feeling in his chest that he recognized as medical chakra, cold things on his head and chest, and then something over his mouth.

_They put my mask back on, _he thought. _I guess that's good. Unless I'm dead. It seems like someone might do that if I'm dead._

The pain came in waves, shooting out from his new eye to the rest of his body. He occasionally felt himself jerk and struggle, but he had no control over his limbs.

Every time he passed out and woke again he was disappointed that he was still alive, or that he hadn't moved on to another part of the afterlife.

_Maybe I'll get to see Mom, _he thought. He didn't know that she'd recognize him, but he'd seen her picture enough to know who to look for. He remembered Anko with a pang. He didn't want to leave her behind. _She's so fragile, _he thought. _She'll be really mad at me if I die._

He felt his uncle's chakra, warm and comforting. _Oji-Jiraiya's here, so I must be alive, _he thought. In a fuzzy way he remembered that he wasn't a sensor type. _He's pushing his chakra into me. I didn't know he knew how to do that, _he thought before he passed out again.

There was no chakra feeling when he woke again, but this time the pain was less. It was still bad, but he could hope it might go away eventually.

He didn't know why he was blind, but except for the occasional flashes of red he couldn't see anything. His eye burned and throbbed, but he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't move his arms or legs. He focused hard, just wanting to rub it a bit, anything to give himself some relief. He finally managed to move.

Someone was holding his hands. He panicked and tried to fight, even though he knew it wasn't any good. Red and black swam before his eyes, and he felt a hand on his chest, pinning him down.

He felt another type of chakra, that harsh, cold feeling of the Interrogator's presence. He relaxed, letting whoever was restraining him do what they wanted. If the Interrogator was there he was safe. His family was safe.

He was floating away, leaving the pain and sickness behind. _It's not so bad, _he thought. _I really want to see Mom._

And then there was a pressure on his mouth, and he was pulled back into himself along with the problems he'd almost left. _I was so close, _he thought. Then he remembered Anko. _ I need to stay here for her. She needs me._

Time passed like that, and he occasionally felt the chakra of his uncle or the Interrogator. He tried to talk to them when he knew they were near, but it felt as if molasses was coming out of his mouth. _This is not medication issues, _he thought. _I wonder if an Uchiha poisoned me somehow. _It seemed like someone was always holding his hand. He knew that there were different hands around his, but he didn't know whose.

It was on a day that he could feel Jiraiya's chakra that he finally opened his eyes and saw more than red. The blurred world began to come into focus, and he saw his uncle sitting near him. He was holding his hand, but his eyes were on the floor, and Kakashi had never seen him look so sad.

_I hate that I made him sad, _he thought. He wanted to move the oxygen mask on his face, but he could barely move his hand to his mouth, and he couldn't even manage to move the mask.

Jiraiya jumped at the movement. He pulled the oxygen mask away from his face. "Kakashi! Are you awake? Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said thickly. His throat was so dry he could still barely speak.

Jiraiya got him water and put a straw in his mouth when he saw that Kakashi was too weak to sit up. Kakashi drank and felt relieved. "I didn't think I'd wake up," he said.

Jiraiya was leaning close, and Kakashi wondered if he was talking loud enough to be heard. It was hard to push the words out.

"We didn't know if you'd wake up," Jiraiya said. "You quit…" he cleared his throat and wiped away a few tears. "You quit breathing twice. I'm so glad you're awake."

"I felt your chakra," Kakashi whispered, still hoarse and tired. "You and Ibiki wouldn't let me go."

"We tried to keep you here," Jiraiya said. "We were the only ones you would relax around. You fought everyone else."

"I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" Kakashi asked.

"You couldn't have hurt a fly," Jiraiya said. "We were worried about you hurting yourself. Ibiki had to keep you from clawing at your eye."

The world felt a bit fuzzy around the edges, but he didn't want to sleep again.

"You look tired," Jiraiya said. "I'm going to call a nurse, and if you want you can see someone when you wake up. Is there anyone you want to see?"

_Please don't say Akihiro, for your father's sake, _Jiraiya thought.

"How is Anko?" Kakashi said. "I was worried about her."

"She's…hanging in there," Jiraiya said. He didn't tell Kakashi about the stone faced girl in the waiting room who wouldn't leave to sleep until she was chased out. She didn't want to talk to anyone but Asuma, Kurenai, or Gai. Several adults had tried to sit with her, but she simply ignored them.

"You're lying," Kakashi said. "You're bad at it."

"She cares about you a lot," Jiraiya said. "It's hard for her to wait."

"I should probably see her first," Kakashi said.

A nurse arrived, and Jiraiya moved aside to let her tend to Kakashi. Kakashi's eyes closed, and Jiraiya could only hope he woke again soon.

He went to the nearest waiting room. Kakashi's friends and family came when they could. They were still ninjas, and they couldn't forego their missions, but they spent whatever time they could waiting.

Right now Anko, Sakumo, Akihiro and his wife, and Gai were waiting. Anko sat in the corner, looking at nothing, and Gai sat near her. Jiraiya knew the odd boy a bit, and he'd always seen him with a bright smile and cheerful attitude. He'd obviously been crying recently.

Akihiro's wife – who Jiraiya had only heard called mother – was sitting near Akihiro, who was cleaning his fingernails with a knife. Sakumo was in a chair trying to use the wall to rest against. His head hung at an awkward angle, and he was obviously sleeping.

Everyone in the room except Sakumo – who didn't wake – looked up when Jiraiya entered the room. It had been the same for the last five days. Someone would leave to sit with Kakashi for an hour or two, and when they came back there was always that one second of hope before they saw the same sadness that the watcher had left with.

This time Kakashi's return to life must have shown on Jiraiya's face, because Anko and Gai both jumped up.

"Is he awake?" Anko asked.

"What?" Sakumo asked, jerking awake suddenly. "Is Kakashi awake yet?"

Akihiro was silent, but Jiraiya noticed how intently focused he was.

"He's conscious, but he's still really weak and tired. He wants to see Anko first, but I think he's probably already asleep again."

"He wants to see me?" she asked. "I was so afraid. We had a fight the last time I saw him."

"He was worried about you," Jiraiya said.

The atmosphere was almost festive. "I'm going to contact some of Kakashi's friends, and I'll come back later," Jiraiya said.

He left feeling better about life than he'd felt in days. If Kakashi had died he would have taken a bit of Jiraiya with him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko was there when Kakashi woke, holding his hand and beaming. "Baka," she said. "Don't you dare leave me like that again."

"It not something I'm planning on," he said. His eye still throbbed, and he wondered if the Sharingan was damaged. "What happened to me?"

"I don't know. Akihiro and your uncle know, but they said it's top secret. They were stretching security to even let us know you were here, but they thought having your friends around might help you come around."

"I thought about you," Kakashi said. "I didn't want to leave you behind."

"Don't you ever do it," she said. "If you die someday, you have to wait for me. I'll wait for you on the other side. Promise me."

"I promise," Kakashi said.

The nurse poked her head into the room and told Anko it was time to go or stop talking to him. "You don't want to tire him out. He just came to. Give him time to recover."

Anko climbed onto the bed and kissed him. "When you get out we'll buy dango."

"I'd rather have miso soup with eggplant," he said.

She wrinkled her nose. "Then we'll get that. Just get well. We miss you." She sat with him and held his hand quietly until he slept again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This time it was Sakumo in the chair when he woke. He leaned forward and ruffled Kakashi's hair. "Hey Kashi-kun".

Kakashi tried to move his hair away from his face, but it took too much energy.

"What's wrong?" Sakumo asked.

"My hair is in my face," Kakashi said.

Sakumo pushed his hair aside. "Sorry about that. How are you feeling?"

"My eye hurts and I can barely move," Kakashi said. "Do you know what happened to me?"

"It's a Jounin-level secret. Jiraiya and Akihiro know, but they can't tell the rest of us."

"Not even you?" Kakashi asked.

"Especially not me," Sakumo said. "You know that."

"How long have you been here?" Kakashi asked.

"We've all been taking turns with you," Sakumo said. "You haven't been alone since it happened."

A suspicion hit Kakashi. "How long have I been down?"

"It's been five days," Sakumo said. "Five hellish days."

"I felt all of you here," Kakashi said.

"I'm glad," Sakumo said. "I love you, son."

"I love you too, Dad."

"I can't keep you all to myself," Sakumo said. "Akihiro and his wife still want to talk to you, and Gai, Asuma, Ibiki, and Kurenai. You seem to have quite a fan base. They're all in the waiting room."

"Can I see Akihiro?" Kakashi asked. "I need to find out what happened."

He didn't notice the smile falter on Sakumo's face. "Of course," he said. "I'll get him for you."

Mother helped Akihiro into the room and into a chair, moving his walker aside. "You sure gave us a fright," he said.

"Do you know what happened?" Kakashi asked. "No one can tell me."

"Mother, can you wait with the others? I need to talk to him about classified information."

She kissed Kakashi on the forehead. "When you get home I'm going to cook you whatever you want."

"A certain Uchiha came here to look at you," Akihiro said when they were alone.

Kakashi knew he was talking about Itachi. He also knew why Akihiro wouldn't mention him by name.

"He said it was a reaction to the Sharingan. He's going to speak with you about it himself soon. He's a solemn one – wouldn't give me any information. He said you probably wouldn't survive, and he left."

"That sounds like him," Kakashi said. _So I have to wait for Itachi to visit to find out what's wrong with me._

"How long until I can go home?" Kakashi asked.

"They want to keep you in here for a couple more days at least," Akihiro said. "We'll see after that."

He had to wait to see the rest of his friends. The nurse insisted he sleep, and when he wouldn't she gave him a shot. Akihiro stayed with him. Kakashi wondered if it was just because they wanted to be with him, or if he was under 24 hour guard by the people close to him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was night, and Ibiki was in the room with him. "He's awake," he said.

"I can see that," Kakashi heard, and he turned his head to see CROW in the corner, leaning against the wall. "Leave us alone."

Ibiki gave CROW a dirty look and left. CROW made a clone. "Keep watch," he said. "I don't want eavesdroppers."

The clone nodded and moved to the doorway. "Ibiki doesn't know who I am," CROW said. "We should be safe."

"They said you were here earlier," Kakashi said.

"Yes. I took one look at your eye and knew what was happening. You hadn't really used the Sharingan before you and I worked together the other night, had you?"

"I used it for observation, and I copied a jutsu by watching, but other than that not really."

"I taught you your first jutsu with the Sharingan," Itachi said. "That's what set it off. The other is light work compared to using actual jutsus. There are occasionally people who react to the Sharingan that way, but I've never heard of it being so severe. I was sick for a day myself, but you were out for five."

"It must be because I'm not an Uchiha," Kakashi said.

"Probably. This causes even more problems. The Uchihas who got violently ill after first using their Sharingan became some of the strongest ninjas in history. We're not sure why. Someone at the hospital leaked this, and now the clan knows."

"How bad is it?" Kakashi asked.

"They hated you before," Itachi said. "Now they're afraid of you, and that might be worse. People act out of fear in an illogical way."

"I'll just have to be careful," Kakashi said.

"You'll have to work hard," Itachi said. "Once you get past this you should progress quickly if you're like the others who had this problem. If you use it effectively on a mission and word gets around, there will be trouble."

"What do we do then?"

"You just get well and train," Itachi said. "There are wheels in motion. I don't like the direction this is going, but consequences of actions are like a rock pushed down a hill. There's no telling who might get hit."

Kakashi winced. He really didn't need that reminder of how Obito died.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The council meeting that night was lively. The Hokage listened as the Uchihas present went on about Kakashi. "We demand you do something about this!" they said.

Akihiro sat quietly, but Sandaime knew that he was waiting for the most opportune time to speak. He said very little in council, but when he did speak his words carried enormous weight. If he spoke now they would just accuse him of favoritism.

"And what would you have me do?" the Hokage asked.

"Take the eye out! He has no right to it. He stole it from our clan."

"It was given to him by Uchiha Obito, of his free will. Your own people cleared Kakashi."

"We can't stand by and watch this happen," the Chief of Police said.

"You can, and you will," the Hokage said. He didn't like these people, and he was losing his patience. "Is your clan a police clan or not? Will you allow injustice to happen?"

"No," The Chief said. "Justice above all. That's the police motto, and we live by it."

"Even if it means arresting one of your own?" the Hokage asked.

"We've done it before," the Chief said.

"What about arresting four Uchihas that are planning to kill Hatake Kakashi? He's a Jounin of the village, and that's murder. It's murder of a Jounin, which carries the death penalty, and murder of a child, which carries another death penalty, not to mention pre-meditated murder of a Fire Nation citizen, which also carries a death penalty."

The Chief made no sign of the surprise the Hokage was sure he was feeling, but he did take longer to respond than normal.

"Do you have evidence?" he asked.

"I do," the Hokage said. "Out of respect for your clan we can deal with this as a police matter after the council meeting, if you wish."

"Thank you Hokage-sama," the Chief said, and he sat down. He looked at Uchiha Aina, who shrugged. The rest of the meeting was routine, except that the Uchihas present had nothing else to say.

_They're really rattled, _Sandaime thought. He didn't know if what he was doing was wise, but it was one of the few roads he could travel with these people. Itachi had told him of the unrest in the Uchiha clan – the increasingly voiced opinion that they would be better running the village. He was afraid it would come to open warfare.

He wasn't just protecting Kakashi for personal reasons. It was necessary to keep the Uchihas from killing him or taking his eye. They would only take more power and more until he had to act openly against them, and Konoha would be torn apart. This was still negotiation. Arresting a few people for an obvious crime was different than acting against the whole clan.

After the meeting, the Uchihas stayed. "I only need to talk to the Chief," Sandaime said.

"We're all here," the Chief said. "You can talk to all of us."

"This isn't an Uchiha matter," the Hokage said. "This is a police matter, and you are the only policeman here. Just because you have a police clan doesn't mean you're all entitled to dispense justice."

The Chief reluctantly agreed, and the other Uchihas left.

"Well, let's have it," he said.

The Hokage knew who was planning to kill Kakashi, and he had told Itachi to tape them saying so. He played back recordings of them exposing their plan to family and friends.

_They were too comfortable in the compound, _he thought. _It never occurred to them that one of their own would turn on them._

It would have been easier to simply tape a council meeting, but then they could track who had attended, and he didn't want Itachi linked to this in any way.

He pushed the Stop button on the recorder. "Is that enough?" he asked. _He's caught, _he thought.

"It's enough," the Chief said. "They'll be arrested and interrogated."

"I'll speak with them myself once they're incarcerated."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. My condolences for the pain this will cause your clan," the Hokage said

The Chief's face was passive, but his eyes blazed. He left without another word.

_There's going to be hell to pay for this, _he thought, but then that wasn't surprising. Anything the Uchihas involved themselves in was a difficult situation.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

AN: Short update, but I'm really, _really _tired.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It was only two days before Kakashi could go home. He could feel his strength returning, and he thanked the stars that he was a ninja. A civilian would have been weeks – if not months – healing. They had taken him off the medicine – just in case it was part of the problem – and he hoped he didn't have more hallucinations.

"Are you ok?" Ibiki asked when he came in. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm not fragile," Kakashi said. "I just want to sleep for awhile, and then I'll be up and moving.

The walk from the hospital with Mother had left him exhausted. He more fell than lay on the bed, and he forgot to put his mouthpiece in.

He woke with Ibiki shaking him by the shoulder. Unlike Obito, Ibiki was careful to keep his other hand in a battle ready position, something Kakashi approved of. "What's wrong with you?" he asked.

Kakashi sat up, covered in drool again. "Oh fuck," he said, and he tried to wipe it off quickly. He didn't want to look Ibiki in the eye.

"Do I need to get Dad?" Ibiki asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "It's nothing."

Ibiki pointed to Kakashi's pillow. "That isn't nothing. That looks like a problem."

"Could you let it go?" Kakashi said. "It's a side effect of the medication. The mouth guard helps, but I forgot to put it in."

"Oh. Well shit. You had me worried. I thought you were sick again."

"Don't tell anyone, ok?" Kakashi asked. "Mother caught me trying to wash the pillow once, but she's the only one who knows.

"I won't," Ibiki said. "It's just drool. You're making a bigger deal out of it than it is."

_I should have known he'd understand, _Kakashi thought.

Ibiki pulled his own pillow down from the top bunk. "Use the mouth guard and borrow this for now. I'll give your pillow to Mother."

He knew Ibiki meant well, but he couldn't have been more embarrassed. "Thanks," he said and lay down. He closed his eyes and pretended to fall asleep quickly. He didn't want to talk any more.

Kakashi couldn't sleep. _If I forget that out in the field no one will ever take me seriously again, _he thought. _I'm not even on the medication anymore. How long does this stuff take to get out of my system?_

Everything just seemed bad. His father was gone, and now Ibiki knew about his secret. He thought about the Uchihas and the PTSD problems and Obito, crushed and bleeding.

_I wish I had died in the hospital, _he thought.

Ibiki came in and wadded up his jacket. "I'll just use this tonight," he said.

_He's too good to me, _Kakashi thought. _I don't deserve this._

He heard Ibiki's breath even out, and when he began to snore Kakashi finally gave in to the urge that he'd been feeling for hours. For the first time since he'd been about four he just let himself cry, not trying to stop it. He'd always felt that it was a weakness, but right now he just felt weak, and he didn't care.

He closed his eyes and let all the emotions he'd been keeping inside fill his mind. A flurry of images of people he'd failed and people who had failed him flooded his mind, and overlaying them all was the constant reminder of Obito's death.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ibiki woke when he heard something odd. _What is that choking sound? _He wondered. It was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. After a few minutes he realized he was hearing someone crying. It was just loud enough to wake him.

He leaned over the bed and saw Kakashi with his eyes closed tightly and tears streaming down his cheeks.

_What the hell? _He wondered. Kakashi was tough. He didn't cry; no ninjas cried.

He knew Kakashi was already embarrassed about the drooling problem, but he thought it must be more than that.

Kakashi pulled the mouthpiece out and began to breathe through his mouth, and Ibiki figured his nose was probably blocked. He watched as Kakashi rolled onto his side and pulled the pillow over his head, and the sounds grew louder. Ibiki remembered his aunt at his grandmother's funeral; she had sounded like this.

_He's sobbing, _Ibiki thought, and he was afraid. _Should I try to help him, or would that just make it worse?_

He moved silently and slowly, making no noise. He knew where the bed creaked and used skills his Sensei had taught him to move to the floor without disturbing Kakashi. He snuck out and closed the door behind him, shutting out the sounds Kakashi was making.

His parents were talking at the table over tea, as usual.

"There's something wrong with Kakashi," he said.

"What is it?" his father said. "Is he hallucinating again? Try not to leave him alone if that happens."

"I don't know what's wrong," Ibiki said. "He's…crying."

"I know you're not used to any life but a ninjas," Mother said, "but children do cry when things are bad. Let him have some dignity about it and go back to sleep."

"This is bad," Ibiki said. "I can't explain. You have to see for yourself."

Mother opened the door and heard the muffled sobs coming from under Kakashi's pillow. "Poor baby," she said quietly. She went to the bed and lifted his pillow.

She hated the pain she saw in the eye that was open – red and raw looking. "Hey," she said. "I think you could use a friend right now."

He choked and stopped crying slowly. "I'm sorry," he said, the words obscured through his blocked nose. "I'm so sorry."

She wiped his face with the comforter. "For what, dear? You've been through a lot lately. It's ok to cry."

"No, it's not," Kakashi said. "I'm a Jounin. I have to be one of the strongest – in every way. I can't be weak. People could die. I just feel so bad right now."

"We're not at war anymore," she said. "I'm sure there are a lot of ninjas having problems right now. You're not alone."

"I can't be doing this," Kakashi said. "The village needs me, and Anko needs me, and my father needs me. I wanted to help you guys – not weigh you down." He began to cry again. "It's too much."

"I need you too," she said. She smiled. "I need you to be happy and healthy. I think your father and Anko need that too."

She stayed with him, saying soothing things until he fell asleep again. She woke him just enough to put the mouthpiece in his hand and tell him to put it in his mouth. When he was sleeping again she left to the frightened men in the other room.

"He'll be fine," she said. "He's not having any sort of episode. I think he's depressed. I'll get him to go talk to Dr. Yamanako tomorrow."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

CROW sat outside the window, crouching behind a hedge. Akihiro's seals were good, but he hadn't planned on a Sharingan user trying to get through them. The chakra lines stood out like fireworks, and CROW had easily evaded them.

He had cut a small hole and put his ear to the wall, casting a small jutsu on himself. It magnified the sound – not much – but enough that he could hear what was going on inside.

_Just as I feared, _he thought. Kakashi was far too weak to defend himself. _I'll have to stay out here when I can. I hope Akihiro is as good as the stories say he is. _

He wasn't disgusted with Kakashi's weakness as the younger ninja seemed to be. He remembered his own sickness after using his Sharingan for the first time – the pain, fever, and fear. Instead of loving family members, his father had simply told him to man up, that he was an Uchiha, and he'd better not spend the next day in bed.

CROW felt jealous. To be able to simply show someone emotion like that was something he could never hope to do.

_I wonder what it's like to love someone, _he thought. _If I had someone to love I'd protect them, no matter what._

He stayed for two more hours until his relief showed up. CAT waited outside the chakra alarms as CROW moved lithely through them.

"Did you see how I did that?" CROW asked.

"I did," CAT whispered. "I still don't understand why we can't let Akihiro know we're guarding his family."

"He wouldn't accept the protection," CROW said. "I don't know him well, but the Hokage does, and he said the old man would be offended and send us away."

CROW left to try to get a few hours of sleep before he had to begin his other life as Itachi. He didn't tell CAT about the small hole in the wall.

_Let him do his own dirty work, _CROW thought.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Ibiki woke early – about six. He usually woke with the sun, but he knew his father would be awake and having an early breakfast. It was the one time he knew he could have his father to himself. Kakashi and Mother were usually awake.

"You want some coffee?" Akihiro asked.

Ibiki shook his head. He never drank coffee, but for some reason his father always asked.

"I thought you might want to talk this morning," Akihiro said. "How are you handling all this?"

"It's weird," Ibiki said. "Kakashi was always one of the strongest ninjas I knew. He's like a child now."

"He is a child, son. You are one too. I think you kids forget that."

"But we're not kids," Ibiki said. "Kids don't kill people. I'm not sure what they do exactly, but I know they're not Jounins and torture victims."

His father cringed as he looked at Ibiki's uncovered head.

"Yeah, I can say it now," Ibiki said. "I have to get better so I can do all my duties. If I don't learn to face it I'll never move forward."

"You seem to be doing fine," Akihiro said. "I haven't seen your friend that you call The Interrogator around much. Where has he been?"

"I haven't needed him," Ibiki said. "He tries to let me stay out as much as he can. He was around for Kakashi in the hospital. His chakra is really strong, and he thought that Kakashi could feel him."

"From what Kakashi said later he did feel his chakra," Akihiro said.

"I'm glad," Ibiki said. "He probably wouldn't admit it, but Kakashi is important to him too."

"What are Mother and I to The Interrogator?" Akihiro asked.

"Comrades, I guess. He's never really said anything about you."

Akihiro thought he might be able to finally ask a question he'd been avoiding until he thought Ibiki could handle the conversation.

"Where do you go when you leave us?" he asked.

Suddenly The Interrogator was present. "Don't ask him that – ever," he said.

"He's my son," Akihiro said. "I respect what you're doing for him, but I am the authority here."

They locked eyes, and Akihiro wondered how he'd deal with this if The Interrogator really wanted to quarrel with him. He had an intimidating presence.

"Very well," The Interrogator said. "But asking him that causes him pain. I can answer; he can't."

"Why is that?" Akihiro asked.

"Because he's fragile. I think he always will be."

"Where does he go then?" Akihiro asked.

"Why is it important for you to know?" The Interrogator asked. "There is a reason he doesn't tell anyone where he hides."

"And that is?"

"He needs somewhere to hide that's just his own. That's why I'm here, because you threatened that."

"Will it hurt him for me to know?" Akihiro asked.

"No, but he thinks it will. He's not well. Sometimes he crawls into a dark place and just curls into a ball. He hasn't done that much lately. I don't know why it bothers him so much to be asked; it just does."

"I never thanked you for taking care of him," Akihiro said.

"There's no need," The Interrogator said. "Helping and protecting my comrades is what I was created for."

"And what about you?" Akihiro asked. "What do you want out of life? It has to be more than just to protect one young boy."

"Wouldn't that be enough?" The Interrogator asked.

"I'm going to do things Ibiki never could now," The Interrogator said. "I don't know what he could have been, but he'll never be much more than adequate without me."

"You could be underestimating him," Akihiro said.

"Perhaps. You don't see him when he's hiding though. The way Kakashi was last night is comparable. He doesn't seem to remember it when he's awake."

"So there are times when you're here and he doesn't know what's happening?" Akihiro asked.

"Yes, and there are times he does know. I don't really think either of us are completely in control of that situation."

"You didn't answer my question," Akihiro said. "What is it you're trying to do, besides look after Ibiki?"

"What I saw out there showed me how strong the mind is, and how weak," the Interrogator said. "I'm in a unique position to help the village. I can turn Ibiki's pain into Konoha's strength."

"The Uchihas won't let you rise very far in the police ranks," Akihiro said.

"I won't give them much of a choice. Even they have to recognize talent and determination, and I'll be the best."

"How do you know you'll be the best?" Akihiro asked.

"Because that's what I was created for."

The Interrogator poured himself a cup of coffee and took a long drink. "I think Ibiki is ready to come back," he said. "You just frightened him."

"I'll remember not to do that again," Akihiro said. He saw when his son returned. There was a certain softening of the face and a more child-like look.

Ibiki looked at the coffee with distaste and put it on the table. He smacked his lips and ran his tongue across them. "I hate coffee," he said.

"Apparently your friend likes it. I'm sorry if I bothered you."

"It's ok Dad. Let's talk about something else though."

"Fair enough," his father said.

Mother came into the room, her eyes still misty with sleep.

"Good morning," Akihiro said. He knew this was the end of his time with Ibiki for the day. With Kakashi requiring so much attention he had learned to balance his time so that both boys could have access to him, but Ibiki was only really talkative with him in the morning.

"Mmmph," she muttered.

Akihiro couldn't help but smile. _After all these years she's still adorable in the morning, _he thought. He remembered what she had looked like – all those years ago – when he rescued her during his mission. Her face had changed, and her body had sagged, but all he saw when he looked at her was the one who had shared his life for so long.

"What are you looking at?" she asked.

"Just you," Akihiro said. "You're most beautiful in the morning."

"Oh hush," she said, but she smiled and brushed a bit of hair behind her ear. "What are you after?"

"Nothing," Akihiro said. "Well, maybe something later."

She giggled.

"You two are weird," Ibiki said.

"You'll understand when you get older," Akihiro said. He kissed his wife.

"Gross," Ibiki said. He went back to his bedroom.

Kakashi was awake and sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry about last night," he said.

"Don't worry about it," Ibiki said. "You've seen me at my worst. It's only fair."

Kakashi got some cereal and began to eat, trying to avoid Akihiro and Mother's eyes.

"Oh, sweetie, your face is swollen." She went to the kitchen and came back with some old teabags. "I keep these in the fridge," she said. She put one under each eye. "Hold them there, and they'll take down the swelling."

"How did you know about that?" Kakashi asked.

"I try to reuse everything," she said. "Teabags are good for all kinds of things. They deodorize the fridge, feed roses. I've been taking care of my family for a long time. If I didn't learn a few useful things in my life it would be surprising."

Kakashi held the bags under his eyes. Akihiro read the paper while Mother cleaned up the breakfast dishes.

"Is that better?" she asked after a while.

"It's better," Kakashi said. "Last night won't happen again."

Mother kissed his forehead. "Sometimes kids just need a good cry. Why don't you take the day off and go play with your friends?"

"Play?" he asked.

"You know," she said, "do things boys your age do."

"I'm training with Gai later," Kakashi said. "We've been working on my tai-jutsu, and I'm going to help him with some gen-jutsus. We think we could both be better."

"That's not what I meant," she said. "You little ninjas never just let yourself go. Be a child today."

Kakashi saw that Akihiro was watching them talk over the paper.

"It's not a bad idea," he said. "Go do something relaxing today."

"I'll try," Kakashi said.

Kakashi wandered, just looking around for kids playing. _I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing, _he thought.

There was a playground near the academy, and he stopped and watched the kids over the fence. A group of civilian children caught his attention. There were four of them in a sandbox, and he watched as they talked, shoveled sand, and built a small building out of sand.

He could hear them from the fence. "It's a castle," a blonde girl said. He guessed she was about 5 or so.

"No, it's the Hokage tower," a dark-haired boy said.

A red-headed child stood and kicked the building down. "Now it's nothing," he said.

The girl squealed and hit the ginger kid in the shoulder. He began to cry, and an adult came over and soothed him.

_Is that what Mother was talking about? _Kakashi wondered. _She can't really mean for me to do things like that._

The kids started a game that involved them chasing each other. There seemed to be some rules to it, but Kakashi couldn't tell what they were. It looked like they were just being stupid.

_I'm not doing that kind of stuff, _he thought.

He walked away, thinking. _I could be training, or reading, or any amount of useful things._

He didn't want to let Mother down, but he really had no idea what he was supposed to do.

_I haven't really been alone in ages, _he thought. Even when Ibiki had been gone either Mother or Akihiro was there. His father had to leave him alone for long periods of time, and he was accustomed to it. It was hard to really think as clearly as he could when he was alone, and he had a lot to think about.

The problem with finding a place to hide was that Konoha clans were territorial. He couldn't go anywhere near the Uchiha compound, and the Hyuugas were so paranoid about anyone discovering their secrets he wouldn't want to hide near them. If he went near the Inuzuka compound the dogs went nuts. They loved him, but he couldn't really go unnoticed with the ninja dogs clamoring for him to pay attention to him. Ninjas weren't supposed to be in the civilian living areas unless they had a reason to be there. That cut out a good three quarters of the city for him.

He pulled the headband up and used his Sharingan to look at places that might be good for hiding. There were a few buildings that looked abandoned, but he could see the shadowy outline of chakra inside. He couldn't make out any details, but the human-shaped blue light showed him that the buildings were occupied.

He needed to find somewhere other ninjas wouldn't want to be, and somewhere civilians didn't really need much.

He was walking past an apartment in one of the poorer neighborhoods approved for ninja habitation when he saw an open washroom. _That could work, _he thought. He would probably only see a few people at the most, and he could just pretend to be washing laundry.

It was shabby, with a cracked window and a dirty floor. There was about three feet between one of the washers and the wall, and he settled into the space. If he leaned against the wall, it was actually comfortable.

He tried to prioritize his problems. That had always helped in the past. _The most important people that I need to take care of are the Morinos. My father has his own life now, and they need me. I have to get this medication and Sharingan thing taken care of. That's second. Anko needs me to be her boyfriend – whatever that means; I'm still not sure. I guess after that would be training. _

_I can't do anything about the Uchihas except train. _

Someone came in and put some laundry in a machine, but Kakashi wasn't found. He heard the knob turn and the washer begin to work. It thumped and hummed, and he welcomed the noise.

He didn't hear anyone else come in, but suddenly CAT was there, squeezing into the space opposite him.

"I usually come here when I want to think, too," he said.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said. "I'll leave."

"No, you can stay. I like talking to you anyway."

Kakashi couldn't remember ever really talking to CAT much, but he'd always thought he was a nice guy.

"This village is so busy," Kakashi said. "It's like there are people everywhere."

"There are," CAT said. "We're the largest ninja village in the elemental nations."

"Sometimes I wish we were smaller," Kakashi said.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't live anywhere else for anything."

"Me neither," Kakashi said.

They sat quietly chatting, enjoying each other's company as they chatted.

"You don't know who I am, do you?" CAT asked.

"What, you mean when you aren't on duty? I don't' think so."

CAT pulled off the mask. "Do you recognize me now?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "You were out there on that hill that looked like a pagoda. Nasty mess. Did the leg heal ok? The last time I saw you it was really banged up."

"It's fine, thanks to you," CAT said. "If you hadn't held off those five Iwa Nins I'd be dead. Three of us would have died."

"I remember," Kakashi said. "That was one hell of a fight."

"Anyway, I wanted to say thank you since then, but we don't really talk much."

"You're welcome. You're my comrade; it was my job."

CAT smiled. "You know, that's why I like you. Saving peoples' lives is just part of the job for you."

Kakashi shrugged. "That's why I'm a Jounin."

CAT put the mask back on. "I have to get back to work, but it was nice to talk with you."

Kakashi sat for awhile after he left, and when it began to grow dark he went home.

Ibiki wasn't there yet.

"How did it go?" Mother asked.

"I took the day off," Kakashi said.

"Did you play with other children?"

"I couldn't figure out how," Kakashi said.

Mother put a slate on the table. "I was afraid that might happen." She handed Kakashi a box filled with different colors of chalk.

"Ibiki used to have problems with his numbers when he was little, so I used this to help him when he got home."

"What's it for?" Kakashi asked.

"Draw a picture," she said, "something silly."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Because it's fun. Just do it because it's fun to do."

He rolled a piece of light blue chalk in his hand. "What do you want me to draw?"

"Anything you want – just not something military."

He drew Pakkun, but it was badly done. "Let me do it again," he said. "It's not right."

He reached for the eraser, but Mother put her hand over his. "It doesn't have to be right," she said. "That's the point."

"Why would I want to do something and not do it right?" Kakashi asked.

"I'll try," she said. She drew a simple flower and put a smiling face in the middle. "See, it's silly, but I like it because we're having fun together."

He took the green chalk and drew Gai. It wasn't good, but he tried not to care. "Is this right?" he asked.

"It's lovely," Mother said.

They drew together, and she finally saw Kakashi unwind a little. When Ibiki came home he hid the chalk and board quickly.

"I'll keep it for another time," Mother whispered, winking at him.

She went to her room, and when she came out again she had dressed to go out. "Where are you going?" Ibiki asked.

"I need to have a chat with the Hokage," she said. They'd seen that look before. She was determined, and that meant that something was about to _happen._

Mother went to the Hokage tower. "I'd like to see the Hokage," she said.

"Do you have an appointment?" the receptionist asked.

Mother didn't like the woman. She was cold and severe. "I don't need an appointment."

"Who are you then?" the receptionist asked.

"A mother who wants to have a word with him about how our children are being raised in this town."

The receptionist looked back to her book. "I can set you up for next Thursday at 3:15 PM."

Mother slammed her hands on the desk. "You'll tell him I want to see him _now, _young lady, or there will be hell to pay."

Rin was used to dealing with angry ninjas, and she wasn't intimidated.

"What's the problem out here?" the Hokage asked.

"Nothing, Hokage-sama," Rin said. "This woman is setting up an appointment for next week. I was about to explain to her how busy you are."

"You look familiar," Sandaime said. "Do I know you?"

"You know my husband, Morino Akihiro," she said, "but that's not why I'm here. I'm a Konoha mother with some things I want to talk to you about."

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama," Rin said. "I'll take care of this." She stood and took Mother's elbow.

"No, Rin," the Hokage said. "Come in ma'am," he said. "I have time for the mothers of Konoha. Tell me what's on your mind."

"That will come to no good," Rin muttered to herself as they entered the office.

He showed Mother to a chair. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you," she said.

"What's on your mind then?" he asked.

"I had to teach a seven year old boy how to play today," she said. "He had no idea what the word even meant. He's been sick and hurting because this village used him like an adult. I want to know what you're going to do about how our children are being raised here."

"What child are you talking about specifically?" the Hokage asked.

"Hatake Kakashi," she said. "Do you know the poor boy was confused when I told him that sometimes children just did things that were silly? He has no idea what it means to be a child."

"It's something that's crossed my mind," he said. "Now that the war is over we're reopening the academy."

"And what about the ones that are ruined?" she asked.

"They aren't ruined," the Hokage said.

"You don't know what's it like." she said. "I look at two of Konoha's children who will never be whole because they were used like tools before they were even old enough to serve in the ninja corps. Kakashi can't even cope with normal life now, and Ibiki is…I don't know what he is."

"I knew he had problems," the Hokage said. "I understood he was getting help for them."

"He is," she said. "I just wanted you to know what's happening in our village."

"I appreciate you coming by," the Hokage said. "I'd like to come visit the boys if you don't mind."

"I would like that," she said, "but I'd also like to know how we're going to help the others who were in this position."

"I'll look into it," the Hokage said.

He showed Mother out gently. When he turned to Rin he allowed himself to show the anger he was feeling. "You will never treat another Konoha citizen who wants to see me like that again."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Rin said, her cheeks burning.

"I want you to make a list of all the ninjas who were in battle that were under the ages of 16. Mrs. Morino has brought a real problem to my attention."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Yo Yos and Little Ninjas

When he got home Sandaime was worn out. He couldn't shut Mrs. Morino's words out of her mind. On the way home he had stopped by a store and bought a few toys.

_I knew it was a problem, but I had no idea how bad it was. Still, it was wartime, and sacrifices had to be made._

He peeked into Asuma's room. _I hope he's ok, _the Hokage thought. _He didn't see much action. I don't know if he had to kill anyone. If he did he never mentioned it._

Asuma was reading a book intently.

"What are you reading?" his father asked. "Is it a textbook?"

"No," Asuma said. "It's a novel about a horse-rancher up north named Isamu. He's about to drive 40 horses south to sell them, but the bad guy is trying to poison the horses so the rancher's daughter will be poor enough that she'll have to marry him for his money. I don't think she'll do it though. He's a real jerk. This is the fourth book in the series."

"I guess it's good then?" the Hokage asked.

"It's awesome! I've never ridden a horse. I want to try it sometime."

"We don't get to spend much time together, do we?" the Hokage asked.

"It's ok," Asuma said. "I know you have a whole village to run."

"I'm going to try to get more work done than usual so we can spend a whole day together next week. Would you like that?"

"Yeah!" Asuma said. "We haven't done that for years."

"I think I could arrange for us to ride a couple horses if you want."

Asuma's grin couldn't have been any wider. "That's awesome!"

"I have something I want to show you," the Hokage said. "It's sort of an experiment."

He pulled a yo-yo out of his pocket and used it, making it stop at the end of the string for a few seconds and pop back into his hand. He handed it to Asuma.

Asuma experimented with the yo-yo, catching on after a couple tries. "What is it?" he asked.

"What do you think it is?" the Hokage asked.

"It's a toy I guess. I've never seen anything like it."

"You can keep it," Sandaime said. "I thought you might like it."

As he left Asuma was flicking the yo-yo back and forth, clearly happy with his new toy.

_I think my son was spared for the most part, _the Hokage thought. The thought was followed by a guilty feeling. _I wonder how many children weren't spared. I never asked for special treatment for him. I was just lucky._

Rin had made the list quickly. _She's efficient, _he thought. _It's too bad she's such a hard woman._

He didn't know Maito Gai, but Kurenai and Itachi were on there, as well as Orochimaru's student Anko, and Kakashi and Ibiki. According to Rin's notes they were the only children that had been sent out to the war effort that survived. About 15 more had gone out and died on the field.

It had only been four hours between the time he asked for the list and Rin made it, but she had already gathered details for him. Gai and Kurenai hadn't seen much action, but Kakashi, Ibiki, Itachi, and Anko had all been involved in some serious activity. All of them except Ibiki had been in numerous battles, and Ibiki had been part of interrogating prisoners – not to mention the trauma he'd already undergone.

_I'll start with the ones who didn't have much happen to them, _he thought.

He knew Kurenai's parents personally, so he started with them first.

"Hokage-sama! This is an honor. Come in and have some tea with us," Kurenai's mother said. She was dressed in a kimono embroidered with a peacock. Everything about her was elegant and calming, and the Hokage thought that if her daughter was half as charming as her mother she would be a heart-breaker. He was fairly sure she'd already stolen Asuma's heart.

He saw that the family was together in the living room. Kurenai stood and bowed slightly. _She must be doing that for her parents to see, _he thought. _She's usually informal with me._

He had hopes that Asuma and Kurenai might marry someday. They seemed so happy together.

Kurenai poured tea for him, using impeccable manners. It was good tea. He didn't know enough to know what type it was, but he knew it was expensive. Kurenai's family had money, and they knew how to use it.

They chatted for awhile, and when he'd waited long enough to be polite he said, "I'm performing a little experiment."

He pulled a yo-yo out of his pocket and showed Kurenai how it worked. When he handed it to her she was obviously captivated.

"Would you like to keep it?" he asked.

"Oh yes," she said. "I could paint flowers on the sides and they would spin. It's lovely! Thank you, Hokage-sama."

He decided to wait and visit Kakashi and Ibiki the next day. He wanted to spend more time with them, and he had a feeling his little experiment would play out differently.

He returned to his office and issued a summon for CROW. It was usual for him to summon ANBU at all hours, and it didn't raise suspicion among the Uchihas, at least as far as he knew.

CROW arrived and stood almost at attention, his body straight. "You summoned me, Hokage-sama?"

"I did," the Hokage ask. "Remove your mask."

CROW pulled off his mask, and the Hokage saw a face far too serious for a ten year old boy. Dark lines under his eyes told him that Itachi didn't sleep much.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"No one suspects me," Itachi said. "There haven't been any definite plans made yet, but I'm strong enough that I think they'll involve me in their plans if it ever comes to violence."

"Thank you, but that's not what I meant. How have you been lately, Itachi?"

Itachi's brow furrowed. "I'm healthy, if that's what you're asking. My last physical came back with no problems."

"How old are you now?" the Hokage asked.

"Sir, I know that you would know ANBU members personal details. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to chat with you. Are you familiar with chatting?"

"Its' a way of interacting with others socially. It's used to bridge social gaps and ease tension between people."

"That's the definition, yes," the Hokage said.

"My family never "chatted", Itachi said. "We are more direct than that. Communication should serve a purpose."

"I see," the Hokage said. He pulled a yo-yo out of his pocket. "I want you to participate in a small experiment I'm doing."

He flicked the yo-yo a few times. "What do you think of this?" he asked, handing the toy to Itachi.

Itachi spun the toy a couple times. "It's a poor weapon, sir. The string is flimsy. If a heavier material than wood was used, and a stronger medium than string it could be formidable in the right hands. Someone could use an air jutsu to expand the range, and it could hit an opponent in the head. Because it returns it could be useful as a ranged weapon that is reusable, but we already have better ranged weapons. I wouldn't choose it myself."

Itachi handed the yo-yo back to the Hokage.

"What would you say if I told you this is a children's toy?" the Hokage asked.

"Weaponizing a children's toy could be useful," Itachi said. "No one would expect it, certainly. It could be used in subterfuge. One of the younger ninjas could carry it without arousing suspicion."

"Thank you, Itachi," the Hokage said. "You've given me a lot to think about. Would you like to keep it?"

"I have better weapons," Itachi said.

"Of course," the Hokage said. "Dismissed."

Itachi put his mask back on, and CROW left the building.

_Not a bit of child left in him, _the Hokage thought. _I think it's too late for Itachi. He's so cold; I've never seen anything except CROW from him; I wonder if there's even really an Itachi left. If there's any way to help him I'll try to find it._

There were two more children he wanted to see that day. He summoned Maito Gai, and was surprised to see an energetic child in a green work-out suit.

"You summoned me, sir?" Gai asked.

"Yes. I don't believe we've ever met. I understand you saw some action during the war."

"Not much, sir," Gai said. "I was involved in one battle, but by the time my unit got there it was almost over. I was used on guard duty a lot. My teammates seem to think I'm over-energetic, and they said I might as well put all that energy to good use. I think they just need to eat better and have a more positive attitude."

"How do you feel about your time on the field?" the Hokage asked. "Do you have bad dreams or problems because of the things you saw?"

"Sometimes I have some nightmares about the war," Gai said, "but my dad says those will go away over time. It's not too bad. I didn't really see much."

"I see," the Hokage said. He showed Gai how the yo-yo worked and handed it to Gai. "What do you think of this?" he asked.

Gai flicked the yo-yo several times, and then he spun it so that it stopped at the bottom of the string and spun in place. He tried to pull it back to his hand, but it didn't work.

"That's cool!" he said. He spun it again and let it stay at the end of the string for a moment, popping it back up to his hand. The Hokage saw the pure, child-like joy on his face.

"Do you like it then?" the Hokage asked.

"I do!" Gai said. "What is it?"

"It's a toy," the Hokage said. "You can have it to play with if you'd like."

"Thank you sir," Gai said. He spun the toy a couple more times. "What did you summon me for though?"

"I just wanted to ask about you time on the field during the war," the Hokage said. "Sending children out to fight isn't something that I wanted to do, and I wanted to know if you were ok."

Gai's face changed to a look of wonderment. "You were personally concerned for me? This is why Konoha is the greatest of the ninja villages, and we will always be."

He closed his eyes and held his fist to his chest. "I will always cherish this meeting, Hokage-sama, and remember it when I am tempted to do less than my best at training."

"Er…thank you Gai. You may go."

_What a strange child, _the Hokage thought, _but obviously happy. And he's still a child._

He'd never met Anko, but he knew about her. Everyone knew about her. She was a pariah, a powerful ninja that had learned from Orochimaru. She was therefore valuable and suspected at the same time.

He summoned her, and when she arrived she was obviously nervous. She held her hands before her, moving her fingers. She looked at the floor, or the desk - anywhere but directly at him.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked.

"Not at all," the Hokage said. "I just wanted to talk with you."

"About what, sir?" she asked.

"I understand you saw a lot of action during the war."

"I was part of an ambush, and I was with the unit that protected the interrogators while they worked. The enemy tried to retake or kill prisoners several times."

"How are you adjusting now that you're home?" he asked.

"I'm fine, sir. My boyfriend has been sick, and I'm worried about him, but other than that I'm just really glad to be home."

He demonstrated the yo-yo and handed it to Anko. "What do you think of it?" he asked.

She copied him and caught the toy. "I don't know," she said. "What is it supposed to do?"

"You tell me," the Hokage said.

She used it a few more times. "I supposed it could be used to hit someone in the head, but it's not much of a weapon."

"Thank you Anko," the Hokage said. "It's a childrens' toy – just something to enjoy. I'd like you to keep it. See what you can do with it."

Anko looked at the yo-yo with obvious confusion. "Thank you sir," she said. "Was there anything else?"

"That's all," the Hokage said. "You're dismissed."

He had work to do, and by the time he had finished his various chores and duties it was late. When he got home he cracked Asuma's door and just looked at him sleeping.

_He looks so peaceful, _Sarutobi thought. _I'm so glad he didn't see much on the battlefield. I hope I can help those children who did. _

Asuma woke and rubbed his eyes. "Dad? Is something wrong?"

The Hokage went into his room and sat on his bed. "Nothing is wrong, son. I just had a long, hard day and wanted to see you."

"It's hard to be Hokage, isn't it?" Asuma asked.

"Some days are harder than others," the Hokage said. "Knowing you'll be here when I come home makes it a little easier."

"I'm glad," Asuma said. He yawned. "Sorry," he said.

"It's ok. I know you kids need enough sleep, and it's late. Go back to sleep, and get a haircut soon. You're looking shaggy."

"I want to grow it out like the rancher in my book," Asuma said. "It said he had "long, flowing hair".

The Hokage chuckled. "I suppose it couldn't hurt anything. It's just another way of playing, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Never mind. I'm just glad that you're happy. Goodnight."

"Dad, I love you, but you're really weird sometimes."

"All parents are weird in their children's eyes. Go to sleep."

The next day he had to see the children he'd put off visiting. He had been to Akihiro's house before, and Mrs. Morino welcomed him.

"I want to talk to Kakashi and Ibiki," he said. "You were right about the children that fought in the war. I'm trying to decide how to help them. Are they home?"

"They're studying right now," she said. "They're both very serious about their studies. They're serious about almost everything."

Ibiki sat at the desk and Kakashi on the bed. They were both reading text books with yellow high-lighters in their hands.

"You boys look like you're working hard," the Hokage said.

"Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked. "Are we needed?"

"No," the Hokage said. "I wanted to speak with you two. We have a lot to talk about. Which one of you would like to go first?"

Kakashi and Ibiki looked at each other. "I guess I will, sir," Kakashi said.

"Ok. Could you leave us for a while, Ibiki? I'll call for you when we're done here."

He looked at the child/man that sat on the bed. _Those eyes look so old, _he thought. Like Itachi, Kakashi had dark marks under his eyes, but unlike Itachi his clothes hung loosely around him.

"You've lost weight," the Hokage said.

"Have I?" Kakashi asked. "I've been sick lately. Mother feeds us a lot, but I haven't been able to eat much."

"I heard about the problems with the Sharingan. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes and no," Kakashi said.

"Explain the no part," the Hokage said.

"It's not important," Kakashi said. "I can still fight."

"I didn't come here to check on your capabilities as a ninja," the Hokage said. "I actually do care about my ninjas as people. I've been talking to some of the children who were out on the battlefield, and what I've learned concerns me. How has all this affected you? I want you to be honest with me. You won't lose my respect."

"I talked with Dr. Yamanako earlier," Kakashi said. "He said I'm depressed. I guess that's true."

"I'm not surprised," the Hokage said. "You've had a lot of bad things happen. Have you talked with your father about it?"

"No," Kakashi said. "He came by earlier, but I didn't want to bother him. I just want to enjoy our time together without thinking about serious stuff."

"Is there anyone you talk to about how you feel?"

"Akihiro and Mother," Kakashi said. "They understand."

"I'm glad you have someone you can talk to. I want you to know you can always come to me too."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said.

The Hokage pulled out another yo-yo and showed it to Kakashi. "What do you make of this?" he asked.

Unlike the other children Kakashi didn't try to use it at first. He turned it over in his hand and unwound the string, and then he peered into it.

"You could attack a shuriken somehow, but you'd need to use something besides string. Wire might work, but it would cut the finger. I suppose you could make some sort of metal finger cover, but it doesn't really seem worth the effort."

"It's a toy, Kakashi. You're supposed to play with it."

Kakashi flipped the toy a few times. "Mother has been trying to get me to play lately," Kakashi said. "I don't really understand how to do it."

"No," the Hokage said sadly. "I suppose you don't. Keep the toy, and come by if you need to talk. I'd like to speak to Ibiki now. Could you wait in the other room for a bit?"

Ibiki came in and sat, meeting the Hokage's eyes. He gave out an aura of power. _That is not the look of a child, _Sandaime thought.

"I've been talking to some of the children who were sent out during the war," the Hokage said. "I know about what happened to you out there. How have you been healing?"

"I'm getting better," The Interrogator said. "My family is helping me, and Kakashi has become a comrade and a brother."

"Do you have any problems that you'd like to tell me about?" the Hokage asked. "I'm interested in helping you children readjust to life after the war."

The Interrogator leaned back in his chair and put his hands together with the fingers making a small steeple.

"You are my Hokage," The Interrogator said. "I'm obligated to be honest with you."

_What sort of child talks like this? _He wondered. Ibiki reminded him of CROW.

"I just want to help you," the Hokage said.

"You do, don't you? There are problems, yes, but we're coping."

"How are you coping?" the Hokage asked.

"We're working to turn what happened into strength instead of weakness. We've been looking after Kakashi, and somehow that helps us heal. I don't really know how."

"I'm glad that you've found a way to deal with it," the Hokage said. "Do you speak with a doctor about all this?"

"It isn't necessary," The Interrogator said.

"I'm going to speak with your parents and suggest that you talk to a psychologist. I want you to have all the chances you can have to live a full life."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," the Interrogator said, "but it isn't necessary."

"I have one last thing to ask," the Hokage said. He showed The Interrogator the yo-yo, still thinking he was talking to Ibiki.

"What do you make of it?" he asked.

The Interrogator flipped the toy a few times. "You're testing me to see if I still have the ability to play and think like a child, aren't you?"

The Hokage looked into dark, severe eyes. _This one is either going to be an amazing asset to Konoha or one of our worst problems, _he thought.

"That's very perceptive of you," the Hokage said.

"I don't need that ability," The Interrogator said. "I understand that you want us to progress normally, but that's a lost cause. You might be able to rehabilitate Kakashi and Anko, but I am changed forever."

He pulled his headband off. "This can't be changed," he said.

"I suppose not," the Hokage said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I want to be an interrogator," The Interrogator said. "I've heard that you know 1000 jutsus. Is it true?"

"Not 1000, but possibly more than any ninja alive," the Hokage said.

"Will you teach me jutsus to use?" The Interrogator said. "I want to serve my village, and if you really want to help me that would be the way."

"How old are you?"

"My body is seven, but my soul is old," The Interrogator said. He pointed to his head. "I haven't been a child since this happened."

"I'll make a bargain with you," the Hokage said. "If you'll talk with a psychologist I'll teach you jutsus when you're older."

"I'll do my part," The Interrogator said, "if you can assure me that what he finds out won't keep me from being a ninja."

The Hokage realized that he was negotiating with a child as if he was an equal, and it seemed normal.

"Whatever you say will stay between you and your doctor. Unless he feels like you're going to hurt yourself or someone else I'll never need to know what happens between you."

The Interrogator held out his hand and shook the Hokage's hand solemnly. "It's a deal," he said.

When he got home, Asuma was on the couch playing with the yo-yo. "Check this out!" he said. He made a cat's cradle. "I figured it out all by myself. How cool is that?"

"Very cool," his father said. "I'll show you a few tricks."

Asuma gave him the yo-yo and watched as his father showed him tricks with it.

That night the Hokage lay awake in bed, trying to decide how best to help the ones who had lost their innocence for the village. _I might have lost one or more of them, _he thought. _I hope not. I'll find a way to protect the next generation._


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Sakumo looked forward to his visits with Kakashi. The only thing he regretted was that he couldn't drop the henge unless Ibiki wasn't home.

Akihiro let him in.

"Hello, Shun-san," he said. "Kakashi is in his room."

"How has he been?" Sakumo asked.

"I'll let him tell you that. Mother will be home by dinner, so make sure if you drop your henge that you resume it by 6:00."

He turned back to his paper.

_I suppose I deserve his coldness, _Sakumo thought. All things considered, Akihiro was kind to him. He couldn't have been half as forgiving if he had to look at Kakashi every day with such scars. He could only imagine what was under that headcloth. The scars across his face were bad enough.

He dropped the henge, glad to finally see his son in his own body. Kakashi was spinning a yo-yo and looking at it intently.

"What do you have there?" he asked.

"The Hokage gave it to me," Kakashi said. "He said it's a toy. Did I ever play with such simple things? I don't remember. I have a few puzzles, but not anything useless like this."

"You had a lot of fun with your first shuriken," Sakumo said. "Do you remember?"

"No," Kakashi said.

"You had a few toys," Sakumo said. "I got you that little toddler-sized sword."

"Did I ever play with anything that wasn't related to battle?"

"Of course," Sakumo said. "When you were about four you had a chess set, and you used to like to play in the sand."

"Did I?" Kakashi said. "I don't remember that."

"Yeah," Sakumo said. "You used to spend hours making buildings and trying to make tunnels under them."

"Kakashi spun the yo-yo. "Mother seems to think I've forgotten how to be a kid. I went to watch some kids play. I'm not like normal kids, am I?" he asked.

Sakumo had seen that look a few times, generally when Kakashi had hurt himself, but not since he was a young child.

"This worries you, doesn't it?" Sakumo asked. "I suppose being a genius must make you feel alone at times, huh?"

"I'm not one of the kids," Kakashi said. "I couldn't ever fit in with them. The adult ninjas just treat me like a kid half the time. There's no one out there like me. Even my friends are different."

"It's never really bothered you before," Sakumo said. "What's changed?"

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "It's just been weird since I came home. I can't forget what happened out there, and its tearing me up. The other day I couldn't stop _crying. _It was horrible, and I don't know what to do about it."

"Why didn't you send for me?" Sakumo asked. "I would have come. You must know that."

"I know," Kakashi said. "I couldn't think straight. Mother helped me. I just feel how different I am from everyone else."

"It's been bad for you, I know," Sakumo said. "Things will get better."

"How?" Kakashi asked.

Sakumo thought he'd never seen such a sad look on a child. "Things will get better because you have people around you who love you."

Kakashi flipped the yo-yo. "The Hokage brought this by. I thought it was a weapon. I didn't even know it was supposed to be a toy. I think I'm really fucked up."

"Have you talked to your doctor about this?" Sakumo asked.

"Yeah. He said I'm depressed. I just wish things could be like they used to be."

"I know," Sakumo said. "I do too, but that doesn't happen. We have to make the best of what we have."

"I guess," Kakashi said. "I hope I can learn how."

"I'm sure you can," Sakumo said. "You have people here to help you. I'm here to help you."

He heard the front door close and assumed the henge of Shun.

"It's about time for me to leave," he said. "I'll come by tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I'll be here."

Mother invited him for dinner - as usual - and he made an excuse – as usual. He didn't want Akihiro to have to eat with him. It was probably hard enough to have him in his home.

"Could I talk to you for a few minutes?" he asked Akihiro.

They went outside for privacy. "Kakashi seems upset," Sakumo said. "How bad is he?"

"I can't share the things that he said to me," Akihiro said. "He trusts me."

"What do you think I can do to help him?"

"Keep coming to see him," Akihiro said. "You can listen. That's all any of us can do right now. He needs all of us right now."

Sakumo couldn't think about much else that night. He didn't even notice that Mitsuko was talking to him until she pawed him on the arm.

"Sakumo, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I miss my son," Sakumo said. "It's hard to be away from him when he needs me."

"Then go to him," she said. "I wouldn't be kept away from any of my puppies if they need me."

"It's not that simple," Sakumo said. "I'm jealous of dogs sometimes. Everything is so simple for you."

"Then bring him here," Mitsuko said.

"That's not a bad idea," Sakumo said. "He knows where I live. I'll invite him over some time."

Tadao came in, hitting the lever that Sakumo had installed so that he could enter when the door was unlocked.

"What's up?" he asked.

"You smell like dung," Mitsuko said.

"Thank you," Tadao said. "I rolled in some good stuff just for you."

"I have good news," she said in a singing voice.

"What's that?" Tadao asked.

"You're going to be a father," she said.

Tadao cocked his head. "Are you sure?"

"I've had litters before," she said. "I'm sure."

Tadao looked at Sakumo and back at Mitsuko. His tail began to wag. "I can't believe it!" he said.

Sakumo watched him run in circles, biting his tail and barking.

"I guess you're happy then," Mitsuko said. She laughed. "This is your first litter, isn't it?"

"Yes," he said.

Sakumo patted them both on the head. "This calls for a celebration. I'm going to get you guys some good meat tonight."

He left to get dinner, happy that his little family was about to grow.

There weren't any grocery stores close by, and it was a long walk to the nearest one. _I wish I could just take on a henge again, _he thought, but he didn't. It seemed dishonest. He only used one when he had to.

He didn't mind spending money on the dogs. They deserved it. He picked out a couple good T-bones for them.

When he turned around he saw someone watching him. A short, tan man stood nearby. Sakumo could almost feel the hate coming from him.

"My son would be alive if it weren't for you," he said.

Sakumo was used to this by now. It didn't even hurt anymore – at least not until he got home and had to face himself in the long nights. Ok, it hurt a little, maybe a lot at times.

"I'm sorry," Sakumo said.

"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? You should be dead, you worthless piece of shit."

Sakumo knew that arguing or trying to talk logic would be useless. He'd tried before, and it only made the situations worse.

"I am what you say I am," he said. He paid for his meat and left. He knew the man was following him. He walked back to his neighborhood, hoping the man would get tired and go home, but he kept following him.

_I can't let him know where I live, _Sakumo thought. _He might hurt the sisters or the dogs._

He decided to take the simplest route and just wait. Eventually the man would leave. He was obviously a civilian, and he wouldn't have the stamina to outwait a ninja.

_I could just lose him, _Sakumo thought, but he couldn't take the chance that the man would stick around and try to find his home. If he grew frustrated enough to leave on his own Sakumo hoped he might not return.

_If he tries to hurt the sisters, the dogs will probably make short work of him, _Sakumo thought.

He sat near a tree, and he decided to wait. Something hit Sakumo on the dark shirt he wore since he'd lost the right to wear the Jounin vest. Nothing but his headband marked him as a ninja now.

He looked down to see a smear of mud.

"You piece of filth!" the civilian yelled. He threw another clump at Sakumo.

Sakumo could have ducked, but he let it hit him on the shoulder. He looked at the ground and waited for the man to vent his anger.

_I won't let him kill me – for Kakashi's sake – but he isn't trying to do that. _

More mud hit him, and then something harder. A rock stung his arm.

"What if it was your son?" the man yelled. He stayed away from Sakumo, but he threw rocks.

Sakumo didn't answer. It wasn't the time for that. _This is right, _he thought. _If I could let all the parents do this I would. Maybe then I would feel like I had atoned a bit._

He had enjoyed the brief moments of peace in his new home, but it was appropriate to be pulled down again. _I deserve this, _he thought as a particularly hard rock hit him directly on the headband.

_His aim is getting better, _Sakumo thought.

The man kept yelling insults, and he came closer with each insult. Sakumo waited patiently.

"Someone ought to end your life, you worthless pile of…"

His voice cut off with a screech, and when Sakumo looked up he saw Tsuyoshi holding the man's arm.

"This is _our _ninja!" Tsuyoshi said. "You leave him alone and leave now!"

Tsuyoshi let him go, and the man ran. Sakumo saw that a crowd had gathered, and most of them were people he knew.

Tsuyoshi took Sakumo by the arm. "Get up and come to my home. This is wrong."

Sakumo followed. The crowd didn't seem hostile. If anything they seemed sympathetic.

"Come inside," Tsuyoshi said. His children and wife were outside watching with the rest of the neighborhood.

"Why did you let him do that?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"His son died because of me," Sakumo said.

"So you sit in the dirt and let him throw filth at you?" Tsuyoshi asked.

"It's my punishment," Sakumo said. "I deserve this."

"What kind of man are you?" Tsuyoshi asked. "You are our friend here. This is your home. Whatever you may have done outside of this neighborhood, you are family here."

"Thank you Tsuyoshi," Sakumo said. "I have to accept my punishment. It's only right."

"The children look up to you here," Tsuyoshi said. "My youngest son told me last week he wanted to be a ninja. A ninja! No one around here has ever thought he could do something like that. He saw that out there. Do what you want with your life, but do not let my family see this."

"I didn't know I had such an effect here," Sakumo said. "They should look up to someone else though."

"You think you are the only person who has failed?" Tsuyoshi asked. "We've all failed here. We don't sit and let people throw mud and rocks at us. If the world kicks us, we don't let it. We kick back."

"I will think about what you said," Sakumo told him.

"Think all you want, but don't do this again here. I want my son to have someone to look up to. You give the children around here hope that they can do better."

"I do?"

"You are a stupid man today," Tsuyoshi said. "When you leave my house stand straight."

The crowd had dispersed, but Tsuyoshi's son Nabu approached Sakumo. "Why did he do that?" he asked.

"He's angry at me," Sakumo said. "I did something bad and a lot of people are mad at me."

"Why did you let him do it?"

_He can't be more than six, _Sakumo thought. _I'd better explain this well. _"I was very sad. I shouldn't have let him do it. You're father helped me to see things more clearly."

"I didn't like that," Nabu said.

"Neither did I," Sakumo said. "It won't happen again."

"I'm glad," Nabu said.

"Your father told me you want to be a ninja," Sakumo said.

"Yeah. I saw you jump on that roof after the storm. I bet you can beat all kinds of people up, huh?"

"That's not what being a ninja is about," Sakumo said.

"What is it about then?" Nabu asked.

"That's something I can't explain quickly," Sakumo said. "Let me ask your father if we can talk about it."

Tsuyoshi agreed. He even seemed happy about it. "I'm glad to see you focused," he said. "The back room has a table the kids use for homework. You two can talk there."

Nabu sat and looked at Sakumo expectantly.

"Ninjas are tools of the village…" Sakumo began.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

The Hokage didn't see Asuma often in the mornings; his day started at four, and Asuma wasn't usually up for a couple more hours.

He poked his head into Asuma's room, just watching his son sleep. He had kicked off the covers, and his limbs were askew in the abandon of sleep.

The Hokage smiled as he watched his son and heard his loud, uneven snores. He closed the door quietly.

_I wish other parents could have been spared, _he thought.

His work day was full, as always, and he wasn't able to take care of more personal concerns until almost night.

He sent an ANBU to summon Akihiro and thought about the situation while he waited. _No more children should be sacrificed, _he thought.

Akihiro could have used a carriage, but he insisted on walking. _I wish he wasn't so stubborn about such things, _the Hokage thought. He knew better than to insist by now. The man had his pride, and he would do as he wished.

BEAR tried to help Akihiro into a chair, but the old man waved him off.

"You are dismissed, BEAR," the Hokage said. When they were alone he said, "I know you've never been afraid to speak your mind in council. I want to put forward a recommendation that no children under 16 be involved in combat missions, no matter how talented."

"I would support such a measure," Akihiro said. "The war is over; there's no reason to risk our children again."

"If I put forward anything right now the Uchihas will try to block me. I want you to put the idea to the council. The Uchihas still respect you, and they would be more favorable if I wasn't the one speaking."

"There aren't many children who saw much action," the Hokage said. "Most of them died. We're about ready to re-open the academy, so this is a good time to put this forward.  
The Hokage pulled out a diagram. "This is the new academy. You can see the extensions here," he pointed, "and here."

"It looks good," Akihiro said.

"We don't have a head sensei. I'm going to appoint Umino Taru, and I expect the Uchihas to start a fight in council. They get along well enough with the Uminos, so I hope that will soften the blow."

"Everyone gets along with the Uminos."

"I know the Uchihas are powerful," Akihiro said, "but there are only five of them in council. If it comes down to a vote they're outnumbered. I don't think anyone else would be a part of their feud if they were so obviously self-serving as to stand against protecting our own children."

"Yes, but those five wield a huge influence. The Uchihas are getting worse every year."

"Something has to be done to bring them back into the rest of Konoha. They're too isolated."

"I've been working on something like that," the Hokage said. "I have something planned that might be a bridge between us."

"We have to do something," Akihiro said, "otherwise there could be civil war."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko's foot barely missed Kakashi's head.

"Not bad," he said. "You're getting better."

"You're not going easy on me are you?" Anko asked.

"Not much," Kakashi said. "You really are getting better. I guess you've been working hard."

"I'm not sure what to do now that the war is over. I have a mission out of town in a few days, but there isn't much to do until then, at least not compared to how busy we were before."

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I'm not going to get any missions outside the village until they get my medication straightened out."

"I thought that was getting better," she said.

"It is – a bit - but they're having to try me on a new medication. It's something experimental, but they think it will work."

"How long until you can take missions again?" she asked.

"We should know in a couple weeks if it will work or not," he said.

"I'm tired of sparring," Anko said. "Let's do something else."

"I need to be home by six," Kakashi said.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"I like sitting by the lake," Kakashi said. "I'm done with my chores until tomorrow. People have been telling me to relax lately."

"Do you even know how?" she asked.

He shrugged. "We went to the movie, so I took the day off not too long ago – well, most of the day."

"One day out of how many?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I'm busy. We're still rebuilding from the war, and I've had a lot of work to do. I'm needed."

They reached the edge of Lake Uchiha and sat down. He could see the compound across the lake, but he loved this place, and he would be damned if he would let the Uchihas chase him away from his favorite place to sit.

"Have you been feeling any better?" she asked.

"Somewhat," he said. He leaned back on the bench and watched the ducks.

"I remember this one time, my aunt had a problem where she heard voices," Anko said. "One day she…"

"Anko, would you stop talking for a while?" Kakashi asked.

"What?"

"Let's just sit here quietly," he said.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked.

"No, I'm not mad. What is it with you and thinking I'm mad at you lately?"

"I don't know," she said. "It's just that since you started being my boyfriend I'm worried about it. My dad was always mad at my mother."

"I don't like it," he said. "It's not like you."

"If I bother you that much you don't have to talk to me," she said.

"What?"

She stood and walked away.

_What the hell? _He wondered. He sat for a few more minutes, but he didn't enjoy it anymore.

_Why is she acting like this? _He wondered.

Kakashi could see Obito's house from his seat.

_Fuck this, _he thought. He found himself heading toward the graveyard again.

Obito was sitting on the memorial stone when he got there. "Hey, Obito," he said.

"What are you doing here?" Obito asked.

"Could you at least cover that hole in your side?" Kakashi said. "I couldn't see it before."

Obito looked at his side, pulling at his ruined uniform. "That is bad, isn't it?"

"I just thought I'd come see your grave," Kakashi said.

"Why? My body isn't here."

"It's just something people do," Kakashi said.

"How's Rin?" Obito asked.

"We've been through this," Kakashi said. "She's gone."

"You still haven't found out anything?"

"She doesn't want anything to do with me," Kakashi said. "I wish you wouldn't bring her up again."

Kakashi saw Gai approaching. Gai waved happily. _He's even happy in a graveyard, _Kakashi said.

"I was looking for you," Gai said. "We were supposed to practice hours ago."

"Tell him you got lost on the road of life," Obito said. "That one usually worked for me."

"I'm not doing that," Kakashi said.

"What?" Gai asked.

"Not you," Kakashi said. "I was talking to Obito."

"You were talking to Obito?"

"Yeah. He talks to me sometimes," Kakashi said.

"Like, really talks?" Gai asked.

"Sometimes," Kakashi said. He stared at the name on the stone. "I wish he could at least have been buried. I hate thinking of him lying under those rocks forever."

"I don't like this," Gai said. "You've been weird since you came back. You do know Obito isn't here, right?"

Obito waved from the memorial.

"He'll never leave me," Kakashi said, "not really."

"I know what's going on," Gai said. "I hope you're not too mad about this later."

Gai punched him hard across the chin, knocking him to the ground.

"Gai, what the hell man?" Kakashi asked, rubbing his jaw.

"Do you still see Obito?" Gai asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "I didn't really want him to leave this time."

Gai offered him his hand, but Kakashi stood by himself.

"I don't think this is good," Gai said.

"Does it matter? As long as I can fight I'm useful. None of this really makes a difference."

"Is that how you think we feel?" Gai asked.

"No," Kakashi said. "Not you, anyway. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's go train."

He didn't like the look on Gai's face – confused and sad. _He's always happy. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut._

"But," Gai started.

"No rules this time," Kakashi said. "Go all out."

"Are you sure?" Gai asked.

"I'm sure," Kakashi said. "We haven't ever done that."

"No," Gai said.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked. "You're always going on about being my rival. Let's find out who is stronger once and for all."

"You're not at your best," Gai said. "If I beat you now it won't mean anything."

"Whatever," Kakashi said. "If you're scared we don't have to do it."

"You are not acting like yourself," Gai said. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm just stressed," Kakashi said. "Sorry I took it out on you."

"It's ok," Gai said. "I'll be glad when you're back to normal though."

"And what if that never happens?" Kakashi asked.

Gai shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'll just have to be cheerful enough for us both." He held up a thumb. "I will help you be happy again, my rival! Yosh."

Kakashi couldn't help but laugh. It was silly, pointless, and entirely Gai.

They sparred, but on Gai's terms. They'd never really tested themselves against each other without restrictions. They both knew too many jutsus that were too powerful to use against a comrade.

_I want to know how strong he is some day,_ Kakashi thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akihiro gathered his notes for the council meeting. "I might be home really late tonight," he told Mother. "I have a feeling this is going to be a long meeting."

She kissed him. "I'll have something ready for you when you come home," she said.

"Keep an eye on the boys," he said. "If things get out of hand you know what to do, right?"

"Yes, dear," she said, "but it's not going to happen. Kakashi has never wanted to hurt anyone. Don't worry about us while you're gone."

Akihiro took his normal seat and waited for the carnival to begin. _It didn't used to be like this, _he thought. The Uchihas had never been friendly, but the last year or so they'd been almost openly aggressive toward the Hokage, and it was awkward for the rest of the council members.

When the time for new business came, Akihiro stood to make his proposal. It would have been better if he could stay seated, but he didn't want to let the Uchihas think he couldn't even stand by himself. It was bad enough that they saw him with the walker.

"Our children are our most important resource," he said. "We sacrificed too many of them in the war."

He pulled a piece of paper from his folder. "I've put together some figures here," he said. "Almost all of the underage ninjas who took part in serious battles died. The ones who didn't die have been badly scarred. I want to suggest that we pass a law that no children under the age of 16 be sent on combat missions."

"It's a simple idea," the Hokage said. "Does anyone have anything to say about this?"

"What will we do about the children that have already seen combat?" Uchiha Fugaku asked. "My own son is ANBU. Would you remove him and have him go to academy with children his age? It would be a travesty. His skills would deteriorate. We can't very well ask him to wait five years before he can fight again."

"I've thought about that," Akihiro said. "Obviously, those children can't be protected from the horrors of war. They're already soldiers. I think we could re-assign them a Sensei, but instead of focusing on mission readiness, that Sensei should be a battle-hardened veteran who can help them mature. The Sensei's would need to get some psychological training, of course."

"We can look after Itachi," Fugaku said. "I don't want some "Sensei" chosen for him. He graduated from the academy at four, and I've always taught him after that. Would you deny my right as a father?"

_And now I've stepped on the landmine," _Akihiro thought.

"We can work out the details later," Akihiro said. "An Uchiha Sensei would be acceptable for Itachi, if you prefer."

"I prefer to teach my own son," Fugaku said. "And I don't need psychological training to help him."

"The details can certainly be ironed out later," Akihiro said. "Other than Itachi, Hatake Kakashi and my own son have been involved in battle to an unhealthy degree. They are being looked after. I'm also concerned about the children who saw limited action. They aren't irreparably damaged, but I think they're having problems adjusting to post-war life."

"And what do you base this on?" Fugaku asked.

_This isn't good, _Akihiro thought. _I don't want this to turn into an argument with him._

"It's based on an experiment that was performed recently. A group of children were presented with a toy. The more battle experience a child had, the more likely he was to think the toy was meant to be a weapon. It's troubling."

Fugaku didn't rise to speak again. _He's probably interested in this, _Akihiro thought. _He just can't let it go without arguing. _

No one else argued, and they began to work out the details.

It was well after midnight before he got home, and after checking on the boys and making sure they weren't having any problems he went to bed.

Mother was waiting up for him. "Did everything go ok?" she asked.

"As well as could be hoped for," Akihiro said.

"That's good," she said. "Come to bed then."

The sheets were warm and inviting. Mother's body was still warm and inviting too. "I've had one hell of a day," he said, holding her close.

"Let me make it a little better," she said, slipping her hand south.

They knew everything about each other – each sensitive spot, favorite positions, words to say. He couldn't think of anything better than what he had at the moment.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Nabu came over the next day at noon.

"Does your father need me?" Sakumo asked.

"No," Nabu said. "I want you to teach me how to be a ninja."

Sakumo had noticed Nabu watching him a few times, but most of the children in the neighborhood were fascinated with him. The girls blushed when they saw his face during meals, and the boys occasionally asked him questions about battles and weapons.

Nabu was the first one to ask to be taught.

"Why do you want to be a ninja?" Sakumo asked. "I know it seems cool, but you'll see people you love die, and you'll sleep in mud sometimes. I can't even tell you how bad it can be."

"I want to protect my family," Nabu said. "I want to help keep Konoha safe."

"That's most of what ninjas do," Sakumo said. "If you really want to learn, I'll teach you, but you have to keep it a secret. If anyone asks you where you learned, don't say anything about me. Don't call me Sensei either."

"Why?" Nabu asked.

"There are a lot of people who hate me in the village," Sakumo said. "If they knew I took on a student they might hold it against you, or worse."

"They're dumb," Nabu said.

"No, they're hurt and sad," Sakumo said. "I don't hate them for it; I earned their hate. I don't want you to be angry with them either."

"I'll try," Nabu said.

"We can start with a lesson on chakra," Sakumo said. "Sit down at the table and I'll find a pen and some paper so I can make some diagrams."

"Aw," Nabu said. "Do we have to have lectures? I want to learn how to make lightening or fire or stuff like that."

"It takes time," Sakumo said. "You have to master the theory before you master the practice."

"What's theory?" Nabu asked.

"You need to understand how things are done before you do them," Sakumo said.

_This is going to be interesting, _Sakumo thought. It was the second student he'd taken on recently, and this one would probably be a handful.

_I'm glad Ibiki has quit coming to see me, _he thought. He wanted to help the boy, but teaching him mental torture techniques was too much.

Mitsuko watched the whole time Sakumo and Nabu were talking. When he left, she said, "you seemed happier than I've ever seen you, Sakumo-kun".

"It's good to have someone to teach again," he said. "I can't wait to tell Kakashi."

"Are you sure he'll be happy about this?" she asked. "He might feel like he's being replaced."

"No one could ever replace him," Sakumo said. "I'm sure he'll understand."

"Really? How do you feel about the man Kakashi lives with?"

Sakumo remembered the time in the hospital that Kakashi had asked for Akihiro. "I feel grateful and jealous at the same time," Sakumo said. "He's going to see Kakashi grow up, and I'll miss it. I think what bothers me most is that when Kakashi needs me he has to turn to someone else. I can't even help my son."

"I wouldn't tell him about Nabu," Mitsuko said. She began to gnaw on a rawhide bone.

"I think you're right," he said. "I know he'll be excited about the puppies. He asked me if you ever had one if he could name one."

"I don't see why not," she said. "I'm sure Tadao won't mind. We both like Kakashi. Why hasn't he come to visit yet?"

"I told him I want him to come over here," Sakumo said. "He's busy. I'll see if he can come visit soon."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

When Kakashi came home for lunch, Ibiki was in their room playing with the yo-yo. "This thing is pretty cool," he said.

"I thought you said it was dumb."

"No, that was The Interrogator. I don't think he'd have any idea how to have fun."

Kakashi watched him flip the toy. "I don't get it," he said. "It doesn't seem very fun."

"You don't have to like it," Ibiki said.

"It's a present from the Hokage," Kakashi said. "I feel bad for not liking it."

He sat at their desk and pulled out a few papers. He sighed loudly.

"What's wrong?" Ibiki asked.

"I just don't want to do this," Kakashi said. "The police said they lost my original report on Obito's death. They said I have to fill out a new one for their records. I think they're just trying to fuck with me."

"Probably," Ibiki said. "There isn't much more they can do legally."

"I hope that will stop them," Kakashi said.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap, _his fingers rang against the desk.

"You need to stop that," Ibiki said.

"Stop what?"

"That tapping when you're thinking," Ibiki said. "It tells too much about your mental state."

"I don't even realize I'm doing it sometimes," Kakashi said.

"Well, it's a bad habit."

"Mmmm…" Kakashi said, not really listening anymore. He had to think hard to remember the exact sequence of events. The police probably still had his original report and were hoping that he would write something contradictory to his previous statements.

He took a piece of notebook paper and made a rough draft. He didn't want to put anything on the official form until he was sure what he wanted to say.

_We were underground and running when…_

He crossed through the words. _That's not right, _he thought.

_Rin, Obito, and I were trying to escape from a trap when…_

He balled the paper up and threw it in the trash. _How can I explain this? I can't tell them how it felt to wake up and see him crushed. I can't make them feel how much I wanted to move that rock, how horrible it was when I realized we would have to leave it there – the way he looked at me just before he died._

He began to tap his fingers again, without his conscious knowledge.

Kakashi began to smell blood.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Itachi always answered a summons promptly, just as he finished every mission on time, and followed every order the Hokage ever gave him to the letter. He was the perfect ninja – strong, loyal, and obedient.

_It's too bad he's also so good at hiding any emotions, _the Hokage thought. _I'd really like to know what he's thinking._

He poured some tea and waved toward a seat. "Sit down. Have some tea."

CROW sat as ordered, but his posture was rigid and unyielding.

"Take off your mask," the Hokage said.

CROW pulled off his mask. "Do you ask other ANBU to pull off their masks sir?" he asked.

"No. You're a special case."

"How so?" Itachi asked. His face didn't show any more emotion than the mask.

"Because you're 10," the Hokage said.

"Have I failed my duty in any way because of my age?" Itachi asked.

"Of course not," Sandaime said. "You've excelled."

"Then why all this sudden attention?" Itachi asked. "I don't need it."

"We've never used children so young in combat before the war," the Hokage said. "I don't like the effects I'm seeing."

"I'm not having any trouble, Hokage-sama."

"You've seen what happened to Kakashi and Ibiki," the Hokage said. "I'm concerned for you."

"There's no need," Itachi said. "I became what I had to. I am a tool of the village. It's too late to make me anything else, and I wouldn't want to be if I had the chance."

"You're not just another ninja to me, Itachi," the Hokage said. "If you ever need to talk about your missions you can come to me. I won't judge you harshly."

"I heard about the proposal you made in the council meeting," Itachi said. "The whole clan is talking about it. They think you want to steal me away from the Uchihas and brainwash me."

"I hope you know that isn't the case," the Hokage said.

"I have always believed that you were as honest with me as possible," Itachi said. "I know you would do whatever was needed for the village, and if that meant sacrificing me you'd do it without hesitation."

"I've had to make such sacrifices a few times," the Hokage said, "but never when there was any other choice. I'd rather see you grow up and become a healthy person."

"If it came to it, I would gladly sacrifice myself for the village," Itachi said. "My clan has forgotten what that means, but I haven't. I'm not concerned about what being a ninja has done to me. If my village needs my innocence then I'm happy to give it."

The Hokage made a steeple of his fingers and watched Itachi. _He's already given the village his childhood. If I can't help the child, perhaps I can at least guide him as he grows up. I've already put him between the village and the Uchihas. He must be under an enormous amount of pressure._

Itachi stood. "Thank you for what you were trying to do," he said. "I will remember it, but I am past the point where such things are necessary. Is there anything else, sir?"

"No. You may go," the Hokage said. CROW put on his mask and left.

The Hokage reached into his desk and pulled out a bottle of sake. He poured the cold tea into a plant near his desk and filled the tea cup with sake.

_I have so much to answer for, _he thought. _I am trash._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo wanted to take Kakashi a present. He didn't have much cash, but he wanted to get his son something nice.

He went to the bookstore, ignoring the glares he got occasionally in the street. He hadn't assumed the henge of Shun just yet. There were rules he lived by – things that he thought he needed to do to keep his honor. He accepted the henge because it helped other people, but he wouldn't do it to get out of seeing how people felt about him.

He found a book on the history of edged weapons. _He'll get into this, _he thought. _I've seen how he listens to anyone talking about weapons._

When he put the book on the counter, the cashier popped her gum at him. "That will be $40," she said.

"It says $20 on the cover," Sakumo said.

"There's a special rate for you," she said.

It wasn't the first time that had happened. _I have to take missions more often, _he thought. _I can't afford this. _No one bothered him if he didn't report to the mission desk, so he only took the bare minimum to support himself.

_I can eat cup ramen for a week or so, _he thought. _I have enough food for Ume and Rie. _

He handed the cashier his last $40, hoping that Kakashi liked his book.

He stepped into an alley and assumed his alter ego henge. When he knocked at the Morinos' door no one answered. He put his face close to the yellowed glass of the door and tried to see inside. He could make out movement, and he knocked again.

Mrs. Morino opened the door. "Shun-san. I'm glad you're here. Kakashi is ill, and Akihiro told me you had the same sort of problems when you were younger. Please come talk to him."

She pointed toward Kakashi and Ibiki's bedroom. The door was open, and he saw Kakashi sitting on the bed. He was looking at the floor, and he didn't see his father.

Akihiro had his arm around Kakashi's shoulder, and he was talking too quietly for Sakumo to hear what he was saying.

Kakashi leaned toward Akihiro, resting his head on Akihiro's shoulder.

_He never acts like that, _Sakumo thought. _Kakashi hates being touched._

"There is no Iwa nin Kakashi," Akihiro said, finally speaking loud enough for Sakumo to hear him.

"There is no Iwa nin," Kakashi repeated.

"Kakashi?" Sakumo said. "I'm here."

"Da…Shun," Kakashi said. "I'm glad you came."

He knelt in front of Kakashi. _He's so thin now, _he thought.

"What happened?" Sakumo asked.

"I was filling out a report for the police," Kakashi said. "They said they lost the one I filled out, and I got to thinking about Obito's death. I try not to think about it too much. And then the Iwa nin was here again."

"There was no Iwa nin," Akihiro said. "You _think _ you saw an Iwa nin."

"There was no Iwa nin," Kakashi said. He sounded tired.

Mother came in with a steaming drink. "Drink this, Sweetie," she said. "It will help you sleep."

_Did he just let her call him Sweetie? _Sakumo wondered.

"I don't want to sleep," Kakashi said. "I have things to do."

"Anything you have to do can wait until tomorrow," Akihiro said. "This has to be hard on your body."

"Yes sir," Kakashi said.

_He never gives up that easily, _Sakumo thought.

"Let's leave him," Akihiro said. "I've seen this enough times now to know he's past the danger."

Akihiro patted Kakashi on the shoulder. "Call your dog and sleep," he said.

"You know about that?" Kakashi said.

"It's ok," Akihiro said. "All of us need comfort sometimes."

"Let's go outside where we can talk," Akihiro told Sakumo.

He lowered himself into a chair on the porch. "I expect you have questions," he said.

"Is he always this bad when he has these…fits?"

"This was mild," Akihiro said. "I heard him talking in the other room and went to check on him. I got him a lemon, and when he bit it he was pulled back to reality enough to listen to me. I've seen him much worse."

"He's so different. He seemed…meek."

"He's ill," Akihiro said. "You must have seen him when he was sick before?"

"Yes, but he's never been like this," Akihiro said. "I think I made a mistake sending him away."

"You can't undo this now," Akihiro said. "This is his home. He needs his mother."

"He needs you too, doesn't he?" Sakumo asked.

"I'm not sure what I am to him," Akihiro said. "I consider him as my own son, but I know that he only thinks of you as a father."

"For now," Sakumo said. "I have a feeling that will change in time. I wish I could take him with me."

"Don't you dare," Akihiro said. "You hurt that boy. You say that you did it for his own good, and I believe that's what you really meant. Don't undo what little good it might have done him. If you take him now you're removing him from his home."

"I feel like I abandoned him," Sakumo said.

"You did," Akihiro said. "I don't understand you. You took a drastic action, but you don't want to face the consequences. It's dishonorable."

"I'm confused," Sakumo said. "I don't know what to do for him."

"When did you become so weak?" Akihiro asked. "I remember you being strong and bold. You're like a crawling worm now."

"I didn't mean to upset you," Sakumo said. "I respect you, and I'm grateful so what you're doing for Kakashi. I'll leave now."

Akihiro moved to stand, and Sakumo saw that he struggled. He held a hand out to the old man.

"I don't need help from _you," _Akihiro said.

When Sakumo left Akihiro was still pulling himself to his feet.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42

Itachi watched from outside Kakashi's window that night until Ibiki left. The last few times he'd come for Kakashi, Ibiki was there.

He used the Sharingan to watch for chakra signatures. He saw two, one sitting and one sleeping. He knew the weaker signature was Kakashi.

_How does he even handle the Sharingan with that little chakra? _He wondered. _It must be sheer willpower. He and Obito must really have been like brothers. There's no other way this would have worked._

When he was sure Ibiki was gone he tapped on the window lightly – three quick knocks, a pause, and then two more. It was their signal.

Kakashi let him in.

"How long until Ibiki comes back?" Crow asked.

"Tomorrow," Kakashi said.

"I just came by to let you know that the Uchihas that were going to kill you have been arrested."

"You came by just for that?"

"I don't need to train you anymore," Itachi said. "You're on your own from here."

"Thank you for what you did," Kakashi said. "I know it was difficult for you."

"You know nothing," Itachi said, "but it's not your fault. Someday when you learn how to use your Sharingan I want to test you, but until then don't contact me unless it's as you would any other ANBU."

"I hadn't planned on it," Kakashi said.

Itachi climbed out the window. He stopped just outside and looked back in. "I look forward to our next mission together."

"I'm sure it will be interesting," Kakashi said.

Kakashi locked the window after he left. He turned around to find Akihiro in the room, standing without the aid of his walker. He knew how he pulled off that trick by using his chakra to strengthen his leg, but it was always a shock to see it.

"When did you come in?" Kakashi asked.

"I've been here," Akihiro said. "You need to watch out for Itachi. That one is going to cause you trouble."

"We don't have any problems," Kakashi said.

"No, but you will. Mark my words," Akihiro said. "He might not hate you, but he hates that eye, and he'll forget who it's attached to someday. He'll just see the eye – not you."

"I hope not," Kakashi said. "I'm going to have to work hard to beat him."

"You'd better," Akihiro said. "Every Uchiha in Konoha probably wants you dead. They might not act on it, but I bet they wouldn't mind seeing it happen."

"I never cared much about being popular," Kakashi said, "but this is a bit much, even for me."

"Obito made you a lot of enemies, but he gave you the best give he could give. Don't ever let those Uchihas take that memory from you. I know his death haunts you. Don't lose the meaning of it."

"Yes, sir," Kakashi said. "How did you keep Itachi from seeing you?"

"I'm good," Akihiro said.

"I know that," Kakashi said. "But he had his Sharingan activated when he came in. How did you avoid him seeing your chakra?"

Akihiro grinned. "I already told you I can't give away all my secrets. Figure that one out for yourself."

When he left Kakashi lay in the dark trying to figure out how Akihiro had outwitted the Sharingan. He loved mental puzzles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo woke with the earliest birds, as usual. The morning was empty. Lately he'd been feeling better. He had friends who accepted him, a home full of family, and a life that was slowly getting better. But now…

_I should be happy for Kakashi, _he thought. _He has a new family that can support him like I can't. _He couldn't make himself feel anything but grief.

_I'm losing my son, _he thought. _I'm losing him, and when he's ready to forget me I have to let him go._

Kakashi didn't let people comfort him physically, but he had needed those arms around him. _Those should have been my arms, _he thought. _I never should have let him go._

He focused on the reasons he'd done it. _He'll be stronger in the long run. Akihiro was right. I can't forget why I did it. Akihiro and his wife can do more for him than I can._

He rolled over, turning his back to the window and pulled the pillow over his head. He didn't sleep; he just lay and thought.

Eventually he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Sakumo-kun, are you ok?" he heard Ume say outside the door.

"I'm fine," he called. "Don't worry about me."

He looked out from under the pillow as she opened the door and came in with a chipped brown tray. "It's after noon," she said. "I thought you might be ill. I brought you some food."

He was embarrassed at the old woman seeing him in bed. "Thank you, Grandmother," he said. "I'm not hungry."

"This is about your son, isn't it?" she asked.

"How did you know?"

"It's always about him," she said. "I know he's the center of your world."

"He was," Sakumo said. "We're drifting away from each other."

"It's the way of things," she said. "When my oldest moved out he left the village I was down for a time. I didn't see him for years. The first two days I didn't want to do anything. I had other children, but I didn't know how long it would be until he came back, and it felt like a big hole in my stomach."

"That's exactly what it feels like," Sakumo said.

"It got better," she said. "There was always a void, but I learned a new way to live. You will too."

"He has another father now," Sakumo said. "I saw them together yesterday. It hurt. It shouldn't."

"Why not?" she asked. "You're doing the right thing by him, but it's going to hurt. Life hurts."

"I guess," Sakumo said.

"My boy Hanu was mopey," she said. "You remind me of him."

She pulled the covers off him, and he was suddenly very awake. He sat up and pulled the covers up to his waist, turning bright red.

"Oh, don't be such a child," Ume said. "I raised two boys and had a husband for over 20 years. A man in his boxers isn't a big deal. Now get up. You're little friend Nabu has been over here three times already, and he's starting to annoy me."

Nabu was waiting outside, simply standing near the house. "Well, come on in," Sakumo said. "What are you doing?"

"I want to learn," Nabu said. "I'll even listen to lectures if I have to. I'm going to be the best ninja ever!"

"You're persistent. That's good," but try not to bother Ume so much. If you come over and she says I'm sleeping or busy, go home and wait for me. I'll come when I can."

"I'm sorry. I'm just so excited."

"Let's get started," Sakumo said. He worked with Nabu on chakra control, but he couldn't help comparing the clumsy child with Kakashi's graceful, elegant moves. Kakashi had mastered the basics almost as soon as he learned them.

The first time Kakashi had used chakra to walk on water he'd been so excited that he forgot to hold the jutsu and fell in.

Sakumo chuckled at the memory.

"Yes, Sensei?" Nabu asked.

"What? I was just thinking, and I told you not to call me Sensei. It could get you in trouble."

"Okay," Nabu said. "Look, I'm getting better."

He could barely do anything with his chakra. Sakumo had high hopes for him at first, but he knew that Nabu would be lucky to ever make Chunin. He definitely wouldn't be the best ninja ever, no matter how much spunk he had.

_Still, I'm doing something good for the village and for Nabu. That's something positive. _

He worked with Nabu for a couple hours, and they took a break. Ume gave them some cookies. Sakumo had already warned Nabu about the sisters' cooking, and Nabu dutifully took a cookie and ate it slowly.

_At least he can cover his emotions somewhat, _Sakumo thought.

Nabu picked up Kakashi's book from the table where Sakumo had set it after his aborted visit the night before.

"Don't touch that," Sakumo said.

"Why?"

"Just put it down."

Nabu left soon after, and Sakumo picked up the book. He flipped through it slowly, remembering how happy he'd been to have a present for his son.

_It was a silly thing to do, _he thought. _He doesn't need presents. He needs a father._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi was going to Anko's apartment with some dango as a peace offering when he realized someone was following him – someone talented.

He dodged into a small shop and formed a henge of a middle-aged woman.

"Can I help you?" a clerk asked.

"I'm just looking," Kakashi said. He saw a bit of shadow in a wrong place.

_Fuck, _he thought. _I didn't shake whoever it was._

He browsed for a short time and then went to the bathroom, hoping there was a window. _That will work, _he thought.

He opened the window and cleared some of the dust from the inside and outside window ledge. He closed the window again and stood on the back of the toilet. He could just reach the ceiling tiles, and he pushed one up, raising himself up into the small space.

_I hate being so short, _he thought.

An adult couldn't have fit in the space though. The metal structure that supported the tiles wouldn't have held one up, either.

_I guess there are some advantages to being small._

He cut a small hole in a tile so he could see. He waited patiently for hours. If the person following him was serious they were probably waiting too. Several people used the bathroom and left, but finally he heard a clerk announce that they were closing in 15 minutes.

His patience was rewarded an hour after the store closed. The door creaked slightly as someone opened it. He saw two people enter the room and close the door. There were no stalls and only one toilet, so it took little time for them to search it.

"He isn't here," one of his followers said.

"I can see that," the other said. "I don't even see residual chakra. He's been gone for some time."

Kakashi saw one of them check the window. "It's been opened," he said.

"Maybe we can follow the trail. He's small enough to have crawled out of there."

"We can't fit through," the other said. "I'll meet you outside."

Kakashi waited another two hours after they left. If they were looking for chakra they must have either been Uchihas or Hyuugas. Either way, he was in trouble. No one stayed hidden for that long on a whim.

He'd noticed a security alarm when he came in. There was no way out except for the window. He could only hope that they had tried to track him and moved on. They shouldn't have any reason to think he'd have hidden in the bathroom.

He stuck to the shadows and took an indirect route home.

He didn't relax until he saw his house, and he broke into a run. _Almost there, _he thought. Akihiro was a council member. _They won't dare break into his house._

He was about 50 feet from the door when he felt something hit the back of his head.

He woke with a blinding headache in a room he recognized. He was back in the interrogation room in the police station. He was tied to a chair, bound by his arms and legs.

The Chief of police leaned against the wall. "It's about time you woke up," he said.

"I've been cleared," Kakashi said. "You know I'm innocent."

"I do," the Chief said. "This isn't about justice. This is about family."

Kakashi decided not to say anything else. _I won't beg, and I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing any emotion. I can do this._

The Chief stood there, watching him. He lit a cigarette and smoked slowly. Kakashi waited for agonizing minutes, knowing that every puff brought him closer to whatever the Chief was planning.

The Chief flicked the cigarette butt aside, letting it land on the stained concrete floor. "You're so quiet now, little boy. Do you have nothing to say?"

Kakashi looked him directly in the eye. _Someone might be looking for me, _he thought. _Akihiro or Father. One of them must be looking for me._

"I'm not going to hurt you," the Chief said. "There would be too many repercussions. We're just going to have a nice little talk. I doubted you'd come willingly."

He walked to the chair, and it seemed to Kakashi like it took an eternity for him to cross the room.

He grabbed Kakashi's hair and jerked his head back, and Kakashi could fell how exposed his jugular was.

"I said I wasn't going to hurt you, but I'm not sure. You're so very small. You must have such little bones. Such little – fragile – bones."

_Any minute Father is going to come through that door, _Kakashi thought.

"How are you enjoying the Sharingan?" the Chief asked. He waited just a bit before activating his Sharingan.

Kakashi felt as if his arm was on fire. He didn't scream, but he had to grind his teeth together to keep from crying out from the pain.

"When I ask you a question you will answer," the Chief said. "What I'm doing leaves no marks. The Hokage might want to protect you, but there won't be any evidence that I did anything to you."

"How are you enjoying the Sharingan?" he asked. He deactivated his eye, and the pain left Kakashi. If he didn't have the memory of the pain he wouldn't have known it actually existed. _It's just a genjutsu, _he thought. _It sure felt real, though._

"I'm not enjoying a death-gift," Kakashi said. "I'm grateful for it, but it's not a trivial thing."

"Good answer," the Chief said. "I brought you here to tell you a few things. What do you know of honor?"

Kakashi was taken aback by the unexpected direction they were taking. "What?"

He saw the Sharingan again, and this time the pain was deep in his head. He did scream now, unable to stop it.

"You aren't allowed to ask questions," the Chief said. "Answer my question."

"I do my best to live with honor," Kakashi said when he could talk again.

"You're almost a baby," the Chief said. "You know nothing about honor. You're going to learn today."

"I'm going to get a chair," the Chief said. "This will take some time. I sent someone in a henge to your house to tell Akihiro you'd be over at the Hokage's house with his son. My man is amazing with henges. I'm sure he never suspected it wasn't you."

"Akihiro is really smart," Kakashi said. "Don't underestimate him."

The Chief sighed, activated his eye, and hurt Kakashi again. It was worse this time. "It will be harsher every time you speak out of line. Don't hope for rescue. Even a ninja like Akihiro can be fooled by a ninja who specializes in disguise."

Kakashi knew not to say anything. _He doesn't know what he's talking about, _Kakashi thought. _Any minute now._

"You really have a hero-worship going on for the old man, don't you?" the Chief asked.

Kakashi didn't know if he was allowed to talk, or if the Chief was just speaking to him.

"You may answer," the Chief said.

"He is a hero," Kakashi said.

"Do you think of him as an honorable man?" the Chief asked.

"He's the most honorable man I've ever known," Kakashi said.

He Chief laughed, a short bark of sound. "Would it surprise you to know that he behaved dishonorably when he was younger?"

"I don't believe it," Kakashi said.

"Why? He's not a Samurai."

_Why is he telling me this? _Kakashi wondered.

"We grew up together – went to school together. I know how honorable Akihiro is. He's one of the most honorable men I know as well. Why do you think I'm telling you this?"

"To hurt me," Kakashi said.

"To instruct you. Even the most honorable man can fall. You need to know this. The quickest way to fall is to tell yourself you're above the rest of the world. I've worked with your father before. He was a good ninja. Arrogance cost him his reputation. Don't go down that road."

_That bastard doesn't know anything about my Father, _Kakashi thought.

"What do you think about what I've told you so far?"

"Even if what you say is true, there's no reason to slander Akihiro."

"I don't mean this as slander. I mean it as instruction. You carry a burden now. As distasteful as it is to me, we share a common bond. This village only needs men who can live with honor, and I feel it necessary to help you learn what that means."

He spoke to Kakashi for over an hour about the meaning of honor, the idiocy of arrogance, and the duty he owed the Uchihas. Most of it was things about honor Kakashi had heard Akihiro or his Father say before – things about living in such a way that the next generation would be proud of, putting family first, never betraying anyone he owed loyalty to.

Some of the things the Chief said seemed insane to him. He rambled on about _Noblesse Oblige, _but he didn't explain what it meant. He talked about the Uchiha brotherhood, and about blood brothers, but to Kakashi it was little more than the ramblings of a madman.

He finally quit talking. "Do you have any questions?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I wouldn't know what to ask."

"I'm watching you," the Chief said. "All the Uchihas are watching you. If you live dishonorably, we'll kill you slowly. No non-Uchiha has ever taken our Sharingan. If you live honorably we won't hurt you. It's too risky for us. Am I understood?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. "You're demanding something I would do anyway."

"And don't even think about telling anyone about this," the Chief said. "I can't touch Akihiro, but I see his son almost every day. Ibiki is talented, and I hope to see him progress as far as a non-Uchiha can. I'm not above seeing that he has an "accident" however, and one that will leave him in long-term agony. There are things that can go wrong with this sort of training – things that damage a brain in horrible ways. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Kakashi said. "Please don't take this out on him. Whatever problems we have are between us. If it comes to it, hurt me instead."

"That is honorable," the Chief said. "I have some hope for you. Go home, and if anyone asks why you aren't at the Hokage's house, just tell them you and Asuma had an argument. I doubt anyone would have a problem believing that two children had a spat."

He untied Kakashi. "Now go, and remember everything I said to you."

As Kakashi walked through the police station every Uchiha watched him leave with impassive faces. _They're all in on this, _he thought. _This isn't a clan; it's a cult._

When he got home he told Akihiro that he had an argument with Asuma, just as he'd been told to do. _I hate lying to him, _he thought, but he couldn't risk Ibiki's life. He didn't feel like anyone would be in danger as long as he obeyed the Chief's order, and living with honor was what he'd already dedicated his life to anyway.

He didn't sleep that night. He felt something he didn't know very often – fear. Even if they didn't hurt Ibiki because of him, he hated the idea that his brother was in their hands so often. _I hope he doesn't become like them, _he thought. He doubted it would happen. Akihiro and Mother were completely unlike the Uchihas. And he knew that Ibiki had friends that would guide him away from insane philosophies.

_What could Akihiro have done that was so bad? _he wondered. It was hard to imagine him as anything less than the hero he was.

_It shouldn't matter, _he thought. _My father is an honorable man, and he made a huge mistake._

It nagged at him. The next morning he waited until it was his usual time to wake up and got out of bed.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked Akihiro as soon as he saw him.

"Of course," Akihiro said. "I know that look by now. You haven't slept because you were thinking. Am I right?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. "I have a lot to think about."

"What's your question then?"

"What does it mean to live an honorable life?" he asked.

"That's a complicated question. I suppose it means to stay true to what you believe is right."

"What if a person fails?" Kakashi asked.

"I see what's happening," Akihiro said. "You're father is still an honorable man. That's difficult for me to say, because of Ibiki, but it's true. A person can fall and stay down, or he can crawl out of the pit he digs for himself."

"Did you ever… have you ever had to crawl out of a pit?" Kakashi asked.

Akihiro's face went bland, that look that meant that a ninja was hiding an emotion. "Yes," he said. "We all have our pits to crawl out of at some point. I had mine."

_At least he's being honest with me, _Kakashi thought.

"You look distressed," Akihiro said.

"I can't imagine you doing something dishonorable," Kakashi said.

"Thank you, but don't put me on a pedestal. I'll fall. I did something when I was younger that I'm still ashamed of, but I did what I could to make amends. I don't feel like I redeemed myself, but I did all that I can do. I hurt myself to help the person I wronged. You must have wondered why we live so poorly. I still draw a Jounin's paycheck, but all of our extra money goes to the person I wronged. I can't fix what I did, but I can do the best I can."

"Is that what it means?" Kakashi asked. "Does it mean fixing what you break?"

"That's part of it," Akihiro said. "You're turning into a philosopher."

"I don't like thinking about this kind of stuff," Kakashi said. "I just can't get away from it."

"A man who spends a lot of time thinking about what's right is on a good path. Don't give up."

"Whatever you did, you're still the most honorable person I've ever known," Kakashi said. "I hope when I grow up I'm as strong."

"I think you will be. Just keep at it like you're going."

Mother came through the room with her morning bleary-eyed manner, and Kakashi knew his private time with Akihiro was over.

"I want you to sleep tonight," Akihiro said. "You have enough problems without adding sleep deprivation. Have you been taking your medicine regularly?"

"I forgot to take it last night," Kakashi said.

"Be more careful about that. You won't get well without your medication."

"I know," Kakashi said. "I'll be more careful."

He felt better about the question the Chief had raised in his mind about Akihiro. _I won't let such a man as the Chief make me doubt him, _he thought.


	43. Chapter 43

Kakashi decided to put Akihiro's past out of his mind. _He's seen me at my worst and doesn't care. I owe him so much more than just ignoring something that has nothing to do with me._

He went to Anko's, but she wasn't home. _I could train, _he thought, _but everyone I'd spar with is busy today. I suppose I could call a clone, but that's lame._

There was another kind of training he'd been putting off. He'd have to try to use the Sharingan seriously again, soon. _I hope I don't have another bad reaction, _he thought.

He'd memorized the Uchihas' teaching book, but it didn't help him with anything other than the basics. He could already copy jutsus and scan his environment. _What I need is the ability to create an offensive jutsu – something unique. The textbook is great for understanding how my eye works, but it doesn't have many jutsus in it._

He went home to practice in privacy. He couldn't risk some random Uchiha seeing him training the Sharingan in the open.

"What are you doing home?" Akihiro asked.

"I'm going to work on the Sharingan," Kakashi said. "I'd rather do it here."

"Do you think it's safe after what happened last time? You almost died."

"Itachi said it's a reaction that some Uchihas have the first time. I have to try sometime. It's not just for me. This is a weapon for Konoha, and I owe it to Obito to use it for Konoha."

"I'm going to check on you occasionally," Akihiro said. "Don't overdo it."

Kakashi decided the easiest way to start would be to use the mirror. _I wonder what it looks like when it's working._

He pulled the headband off and looked at his own eye. The scar had healed as well as it ever would. It still itched occasionally.

He focused on his eye. He'd seen the Uchihas in battle, but he still didn't know how they used offensive jutsus.

_I can see things, _he thought. _If I reversed the process I might be able to send something out._

He pushed chakra toward his own eye, willing it to leave him. _This isn't doing anything._

_Obito didn't use his eye to fight, just to see chakra. I can feel where the chakra comes out. I just need to bend it. _

He could see his own chakra as it left his eye, fanning out in front of him in a blue wave. He let the chakra roll outward, willing it to move in a clock-wise fashion.

Nothing happened. _I know I'm on to something, _he thought, "_but what?"_

"You ok in there?" Akihiro asked.

Kakashi blinked and looked away from the mirror. Akihiro was in his room, watching him.

His vision blurred for just a second, and he rubbed his eyes. "I'm fine. I can move my own chakra, but I can't make it do anything yet."

"You looked really spaced out," Akihiro said. "I think I'm going to stay in here while you're doing this."

"Ok," Kakashi said. "It's probably a good idea."

Akihiro sat at their desk, and Kakashi turned back to the mirror. _If I put more spin on it… but no. I need something else. The Uchihas used theirs to control people's minds. That interrogator used it to make me tell the truth._

"They say the eyes are the windows to the soul," he said to Akihiro.

"Certain eyes more than others, I guess," Akihiro said.

"I wonder if that's how they control minds," Kakashi said. "Do they reach into a person's soul?"

"That's beyond me," Akihiro said. "If it's true, you can look through a window, or break it. The optic nerves could be the window to the mind."

"What if that's what the Sharingan is, a window of sorts?"

He looked into his own eye in the mirror again. _Could I see into my own soul? _He wondered. _Would I want to? _His eye began to waver in his vision, growing until it consumed his world. It was like the time Uchiha Tomiko had used her Sharingan on him. When he'd tried to break out it was just like this.

A world of black and red spread before him. _It's beautiful, in a harsh sort of way. I wonder what I can do in here._

He experimented, making black lightening strokes strike through a red sky. _I don't know if it's useful, but it's really fucking cool._

He played with the landscape, making buildings and nightmarish plants. He couldn't make animals or people.

He heard the word, "release!" loudly, and the great eye in his landscape swirled and vanished, leaving him looking at his own face in the mirror. He was panting and sweaty, and his face was flushed and pale.

"What did you do to yourself?" Akihiro asked. "You were fine, and you just started looking sick."

"I don't feel bad," Kakashi said. "I wasn't doing much. I can make some sort of landscape and manipulate it. I don't know how to use that to make any jutsus yet."

"Don't try that without someone with you," Akihiro said. "You looked like you were about to collapse."

"No really, I'm fine," Kakashi said. "I feel tired, but other than that I'm ok, really."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He finally found Anko later in the training fields. _I hope she's not mad at me. _The dango he'd bought earlier was a little stale, but he knew she wouldn't care. She would eat any old trash if it had sugar in it.

"Hey Anko!" he yelled, waving at her.

She waved back, smiling at him.

_I guess I'm out of the doghouse, _he thought.

"You have to see what I can do with the snakes now," she said with her mouth full.

"Ok," he said. "I like your snakes."

She chattered all the way home about snakes. She talked about how their temperament changed when they shed, how they had different personalities, other things that he wouldn't have cared about if it was anyone but her saying them.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" she asked.

"No reason," Kakashi said. "It's just nice to be with you."

The big news seemed to be that she'd trained the snakes to bite on command. "That's useful," Kakashi said.

"I'm working on their breeding schedule," Anko said. "These aren't very large, but they're bigger than their parents, and I think the next generation should be larger. They're getting really smart. It has to do with the chakra manipulation. Summons aren't really mortal."

"They can be killed," Kakashi said. "It's hard as hell, but it can happen."

"They aren't quite immortal either," Anko said. "They're sort of in-between."

He lay on the bed and watched her work with the snakes, and the next thing he knew he was waking up next to Anko.

"What time is it?" he asked.

She looked at the clock. "It's about 8. You fell asleep."

"I guess so," he said. "I didn't sleep last night."

"Are you having problems again?"

"No. I just have too much to think about sometimes."

"You need to sleep," she said.

"So everyone keeps telling me, but it's not that easy. I can't stop thinking at night."

"You can always sleep here if you need to."

"I can during the day - when you're not mad at me," Kakashi said. "Why are you mad at me so much?"

"I don't know," she said. "I don't mean anything by it."

"You want to spar tomorrow?" Kakashi asked. "I need to keep up my tai-jutsu skills, and Gai is going to be gone for at least a week."

"Nice to know I'm second choice," Anko said.

"You're first choice for kissing," Kakashi said, hoping for a kiss before he had to leave.

"The mask is in the way, silly," she said, pulling it down.

She kissed him, and he remembered why he put up with the tantrums and the craziness. "I like being with you," he said. "You can make me feel so peaceful sometimes."

"You mean when I'm not being a bitch," she said.

"I didn't say that!"

"No, but it's true. I try not to treat you like I do other people. I'm sorry I was cranky the last time I saw you." She kissed him again.

When he left he decided to stop by the graveyard for a few minutes.

"Hey, Obito," he said when he reached the memorial stone. He didn't see Obito. He just wanted to talk to him, and the tombstone worked.

"You're missing a lot here," he said. "Anko is actually being nice to me. I wish you could have known her better. You always saw the best in people. You two would have gotten along if you'd just known what she was like."

The tombstone was silent, of course. "I need to go home," Kakashi said. "I'm still really tired. I'll try to come visit again soon."

The night was nice, and he watched the breeze blowing through the cherry trees, blowing blossoms around through the air.

_I wonder how decomposed his body is now?_

He stopped in the middle of the street, shocked at his own thought.

_Where the hell did that come from? _He wondered. But the thought bothered him. He'd seen bodies after battles, and he couldn't help but imagine Obito bloating, his skin cracking and bursting as gas made his intestines expand.

_Would I still recognize him? _He wondered. _I hate the idea of maggots eating him._

And Obito was there before him, his face still crushed and ruined.

"I'm glad you didn't look like I just imagined. I was thinking about how bodies decomposed. I'm sorry I couldn't bring you back. We didn't want to leave you there."

"How many times do I have to tell you I forgive you?" Obito asked.

"I have trouble believing it," Kakashi said.

"I think you can't forgive yourself," Obito said.

"Maybe," Kakashi said.

Obito disappeared as quickly as he arrived, leaving Kakashi missing him.

_I wish I could go one day without something like this happening, _he thought. _It's always something since I got back. _

They had their usual quiet dinner, and he went straight to bed.

"You feeling ok?" Ibiki asked. He was playing with the yo-yo the Hokage had given him.

"Yeah. I'm just really tired."

"I'll go to the living room so you can sleep," Ibiki said. "I'm going to be out tonight."

"Don't leave because of me," Kakashi said.

"I was going to training field five for a few hours – maybe more," Ibiki said. "You look like a scarecrow now. Have you looked at yourself lately?"

"I'm just losing some weight," Kakashi said. "It's not a big deal."

"I think it is," Ibiki said. "If you don't take care of yourself you'll be shit on the battlefield."

_Everyone nags at me about my body, _Kakashi thought, but he couldn't deny that Ibiki was right.

After Ibiki left, Kakashi lay down and tried to sleep. _I'm so tired, _he thought. _Why can't I sleep?_

It might have had something to do with thoughts of Obito's body rotting under some rocks.

_I wish he'd never given me his eye, _Kakashi thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Akihiro was reading the paper in the living room when Kakashi came in, and he recognized the look on Kakashi's face as soon as he saw it.

"What's wrong?" he asked, but he knew. It was the Iwa-nin again. They were alone in the house. Mother was at her sister's place, and Ibiki hadn't returned home yet.

"He's going to kill Anko," Kakashi said. "We have to stop him."

"There is no Iwa-nin, Kakashi."

"I don't have time for this," Kakashi said. "I have to save Anko." He disappeared, leaving leaves behind him.

Akihiro didn't really know what was happening in front of him. _How did he just vanish? _He wondered. "Kakashi?" he asked. "Are you still here?" He had no idea what jutsus the boy knew, and he wasn't a sensor type himself, so he couldn't track him.

He heard nothing. _I think he's gone, but where did he go?_

He opened the Heart Gate and strengthened his leg. _I've been doing this way too much, _he thought. He had to find out where Anko lived, and he needed help dealing with Kakashi.

_Asuma spends time with that same group, _he thought. _He might know._

He went to the Hokage's house – first moving slowly and then faster as he got used to using his leg again. Before long he was running. He'd never be the fastest ninja again, but he went as quickly as he could.

He was out of breath when he knocked on the door.

"Morino-san?" Asuma asked when he opened the door.

"Where is your father? I need to talk to him."

He showed Akihiro inside, and he explained the situation out of earshot of Asuma. He didn't know if he should let him know or not.

"I need Anko's address," the Hokage said to Asuma when they came back to the living room.

"Can I help?" Asuma said.

"No. Just stay here and wait for me."

"But Dad, she's my friend."

"If you want to be a good friend, then wait until I tell you how to help," Sarutobi said. "Now go to your room and stay there until I come back."

"I want you to go home and wait for him," the Hokage told Akihiro. "He may come back. Is your family safe?"

"Yes," Akihiro said. "Ibiki won't be home for a couple hours at least, and my wife is visiting her sister."

"I'll call the Jounins and ANBU," Sarutobi said. "We'll find him."

Akihiro wanted to argue, but he saw the wisdom in the Hokage's words. He hurried home and checked the house, just in case Kakashi had come back. None of his carefully laid traps had been sprung, and he saw no evidence of an intruder.

He sat in the living room in a corner chair. He could see more of the house here than from any other point. He could see into his own room and the boys' room. The kitchen, bathroom, and washroom were out of view, but he couldn't watch everything.

Akihiro released the jutsu on his leg so he could use chakra later if he needed it. The leg immediately began to ache.

_I'm wrecking my leg, _Akihiro thought. He put a kunai on his lap and pulled a blanket over him. He settled in to wait. It was going to be a long night – one that belonged to those younger and fitter than him. He could only hope Kakashi came home alive.

_I wish I could do more for him, _he thought. Ibiki was such an easy boy in comparison. He got into trouble, and he had these new problems, but Kakashi was a whole new experience for him. If Ibiki was like a strong storm, Kakashi was a tornado.

He waited an hour, then two, and he couldn't help but picture all the things that might have happened to Kakashi. He could be lying dead in a ditch somewhere, his blood draining from slit wrists. He could have been captured by the Uchihas. They might have already cut his eye out. There were so many things that could have happened.

Ibiki returned, but Akihiro caught him as soon as he came in the door. "Go to Asuma's house, now," he said.

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions. Just go. Don't pack a bag or anything. I'll explain later if I can."

An hour later the door opened, and Kakashi stood there. He simply stood, staring at Akihiro. He was covered in mud and grime.

_I don't see any blood, Akihiro thought. _Kakashi held a kunai in a shaking hand. It was at his side and not in a fighting position, but Akihiro kept his eye on the weapon. _At least he still has his eye covered._

"I was too late," Kakashi said. "He already killed Anko."

"Kakashi, drop the weapon," Akihiro said. It was difficult to maintain a steady voice, but he managed it. Kakashi didn't need anything else bothering him.

"It was horrible," Kakashi said. "It looked like he hurt her a lot before he killed her. Her head was all messed up. And her face…her pretty face…"

_Oh god, _Akihiro thought. _Could Kakashi have killed Anko? _The Iwa-nin wasn't real, so Kakashi might have acted out his hallucinations without realizing what was happening.

Akihiro activated the Heart Gate, watching Kakashi for any sign of aggression.

"I need your help to kill him," Kakashi said. "I can't do it alone. He's going after Mother and then Kurenai. Is Mother safe?"

"Mother is very safe. There is no Iwa-nin," Akihiro said. "I'm going to get a lemon for you to bite. Do you remember how that helped before?"

"He's real!" Kakashi said. "Please help me."

He dropped the kunai. "Please help me," he begged, barely loud enough for Akihiro to hear him. Akihiro knew it was the child in him begging for a protector. Kakashi threw himself at Akihiro, and it was all the old ninja could do to keep instincts from making him break the child's neck. Kakashi clung to him tightly, holding his shirt in clenched fists.

Akihiro sat in the chair and pulled Kakashi into his arms. _He's shaking like a leaf, _he thought.

"Shh..shh…shh..," Akihiro said quietly, mimicking the quiet sound women made when they were comforting a child.

He leaned back and held Kakashi, letting him rest his head on his chest. "It's ok," he said. "I'm going to take care of you."

The shaking subsided gradually until Kakashi was only trembling. Akihiro looked down at the boy's silver hair spilling onto his chest in a messy tangle.

_He could relapse at any time, _Akihiro thought. _I need to contact someone about Anko, too._

Akihiro didn't want to disturb Kakashi. He didn't think the boy was asleep, just taking comfort from being held. He was probably exhausted physically.

_Children should be held, _Akihiro thought. _What have we done to them that it takes a serious mental illness for one of them to turn to us for comfort?_

He created a clone and held a finger to his lips. "Find someone high-level," he whispered.

Kakashi stirred. "What?"

"Nothing," Akihiro said. "You don't need to worry about anything. Do you want your father?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I want you."

"You have me as long as you need me," Akihiro said. "As long as you need me, little one."

He could feel that the clone hadn't dissipated yet, so he couldn't release the Heart Gate. If he did then the clone would lose the ability to walk. It was an odd problem he'd never worked out with his clones.

_I can probably do this for a few more minutes before I begin to damage my leg, _he thought. _I really hope the clone finds someone quickly._

The time came and went that he was able to safely hold the jutsu. His leg began to ache, and he didn't know what would happen. It was bad enough that he'd been using his body like a carnival lately, but using the clone was stretching him to his limits.

He could just imagine his muscles tearing – falling apart. The ache turned into a pain, and he focused on keeping the jutsu active.

_I can't do this much longer without sacrificing my leg, _he thought.

Kakashi had fallen asleep – exhaustion and fear taking away his stamina. Akihiro looked down at the little head moving slowly on his chest with the rhythm of his own breathing.

_If it comes to it, I'll sacrifice the leg, _Akihiro thought. He didn't expect Mother home until the next day, and Ibiki wasn't going to leave the Hokage's house until he was told. It was his clone or nothing. If the clone didn't find someone and Kakashi woke and left, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop him at the moment.

The pain grew worse, but he ground his teeth together and bore it, making sure he didn't move. Lights began to flash before his eyes, but still he held Kakashi.

He felt some relief as his clone dispersed. _It found someone, _he thought. His strength returned enough for his vision to return to normal, and the pain lessened a bit, but he knew the damage was done. If he released the jutsu now his leg would fold, and he would drop Kkaashi.

_I hope you grow up to be a good man, _he thought, looking at the dirty silver hair under him. _You've probably shortened my life by a good ten years tonight. Make it worth it._

CAT came in, with his kunai pulled. When he saw Akihiro holding Kakashi he put the kunai away.

"Is he alive?" he asked.

"He passed out," Akihiro said as quietly as he could. He didn't want to tell CAT that Kakashi had fallen asleep. He understood how wrecked Kakashi's body was, but he didn't know that CAT would. Kakashi seemed obsessed with people seeing him as weak - like many boys his age.

"I need you to take him," Akihiro whispered.

CAT lifted Kakashi into his arms, waking him accidentally. "What's going on?" Kakashi asked. "CAT? What are you doing here?"

"Helping my favorite Jounin," CAT said. "I'm going to take you to the hospital."

"There's no Iwa-nin," Kakashi said before he really did pass out.

Akihiro waited until CAT left with Kakashi before he dismissed the jutsu. He didn't want to distract from CAT dealing with Kakashi.

He finally allowed himself to give in to the pain and slumped in his chair, unconscious.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko returned home and unlocked her door to find an ANBU in a DOG mask in her apartment.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked. She stayed in the doorway in case she needed to run.

"We've been looking for you," DOG said. "I was told to stay here in case you returned home. You are to remain here until further orders."

Anko didn't ask why. She knew better. She wouldn't get an answer from an ANBU anyway.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44

CAT was setting Kakashi on a stretcher when he woke. Iwa Nins surrounded him.

"CAT, what are you doing?" he asked.

One of the Iwa nins took his wrist and seemed to be checking his pulse. Kakashi struck out, pushing him away and leaping from the stretcher.

"Why are you helping them?" he asked CAT. "Don't you see the Iwa nins?"

"They just want to help you," CAT said.

The Iwa nins surrounded him in a circle, and others watched nearby. _I left my kunai at the house, _Kakashi thought. He preferred a kunai to fight multiple enemies in close quarters, but his tanto would work if need be.

He reached behind his back for the tanto and didn't find it. _Fuck. I forgot that I got that stuck in the ground when I was trying to kill that ninja near Anko's apartment._

"Calm down," one of the Iwa nins said. "No one wants to hurt you."

Kakashi struck at him, sending a punch toward his throat that would have killed him instantly. CAT jumped between them, deflecting Kakashi's blow. He caught both of Kakashi's wrists.

"Stop!" he said. "There are no Iwa nins!"

"They tricked you!" Kakashi said. "Let me go. We have to kill them."

CAT spun him around, pulling his arms behind his back. "I don't want to hurt you, he said. "Let them treat you."

Kakashi put his foot behind him, reaching around CAT's leg and pulling forward so CAT had to fall. He didn't plan on CAT allowing himself to fall and keeping his hold. CAT fell back onto the floor, pulling Kakashi down with him.

Scenarios flashed through Kakashi's mind – a dozen ways to kill or incapacitate CAT occurred to him, but he didn't want to hurt his friend.

"Sorry CAT," Kakashi said. He brought his leg up and back down hard on CAT's leg, being careful to avoid the bone. He just wanted to strike muscle, not hurt him badly. He'd have to release CAT from the genjutsu, and pain worked at times.

CAT yelled, but he held tightly to Kakashi. Two Iwa nins grabbed Kakashi, one by the shoulders and one by the legs. They pushed him off CAT and onto the floor. CAT rolled away from them and sat up.

"You're safe," CAT said. "Those are medics you're attacking."

Kakashi looked up at the Iwa nin hovering over him, pinning him to the ground.

"I know a genjutsu when I see one," Kakashi said. "Release yourself, CAT. We're surrounded."

"Someone get a tranquilizer!" one of the Iwa nins yelled.

_I can't let them drug me, _he thought. _I don't know how so many of them got into the hospital, but I have to stop them._

One of them knelt, and he saw a needle filled with yellowish fluid. When he reached for Kakashi's arm he leaned a bit too close, and Kakashi sank his teeth deep into his hand, holding tight when the Iwa nin screamed.

He felt blood pour over his face from the bite. _I got one of you, _he thought. _I bet that hurts like hell._

He was still pinned by the shoulders and legs, and he couldn't move his hands enough to strike anyone. Another ninja pried his teeth apart, allowing his victim to pull away from his mouth.

"He bit me!" Kakashi heard. _Why does that one have a female voice? _ He wondered.

The ninja who had pulled his jaw open held his head still. "I have him under control," he said. "Someone give him the shot. We need to get him in a straightjacket before he hurts someone else."

Kakashi tried to bite him, but his hold on Kakashi's head was too tight. He felt a prick in his arm, and the voices and faces around him began to fade.

After that his world was a blur of distorted images and sounds. When he felt someone touch him he would try to fight, but he was bound. He tried to open his eye to use the Sharingan, but nothing happened. He could see out of the other eye, but it didn't make much sense. He seemed to be lying on a soft floor, and he saw people occasionally come near him. They seemed to be doctors and nurses, but he knew the Iwa nins were just using clever discuses.

Images filled his mind, and raw feelings, but his brain was muddled. _They killed Mother, _he thought. He remembered seeing her body, still bleeding from her wounds. Kurenai's face floated in front of him, disfigured and barely recognizable.

Guilt, fear, and anger consumed him. Whenever one of the ninjas came near him he would try to fight, but he had no way to strike them.

He almost bit one again when they decided to feed him. Four large men came in the room. One sat him upright against the wall.

"Remember the drill," he said to the ninjas behind him. "Do it just like we rehearsed and no one should get hurt."

Another ninja held his head still "You have to eat so we can give you some medicine," he said.

"I don't want food from you, or medicine," Kakashi said. "I know who you are."

"If you don't eat you won't get better," his "helper" said. "We can put a feeding tube in you, but I don't want to do that. It's dangerous and traumatic. Eat the food."

"You poisoned it," Kakashi said. "I'll bite your fingers off."

His "helper" stood. "I don't want to force-feed him unless it's a last resort," he said. "I have a few other ideas. Sedate him heavily. I don't want him to be able to hurt anyone, and he's too strong for civilians to deal with unless we're sure he can't fight."

He held up a mask made of leather and metal. "I'm sorry Kakashi, but I'm going to have to put this on you. We're here to help you, but we can't have you hurting the staff."

He fitted the mask over Kakashi's face, and Kakashi snapped his teeth at him, just to let him know he still had some fight in him.

A few minutes later someone injected him with something, and this time the medicine was strong enough to turn the people around him into black figures moving erratically around him. He couldn't understand what people were saying. Their voices echoed, and he wished they would quit mumbling.

Every time one of them came in his heart beat wildly and he tried to get away. He couldn't even remember what he was trying to get away from anymore. It was just one long, horrible nightmare.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Jiraiya, Anko, and Sakumo waited to find out how Kakashi was doing. They were quiet; Anko fiddled with her hands, Jiraiya looked at the ground, and Sakumo stared straight ahead.

Ibiki and his mother came in, and they went immediately to Jiraiya.

"What happened to him?" Mother asked. "Is he ok?"

"CAT said he had another fit," Jiraiya said. "I don't know all the details, but CAT brought him in, and he's been fighting the nurses and doctors. He seems to think everyone's an Iwa nin except for CAT, and he thinks that CAT was trapped in a genjutsu and doesn't know that they aren't medics. He bit a nurse – drew blood."

"Kakashi bit someone?" Ibiki asked. "That's not like him."  
"He's sick," Jiraiya said. "He doesn't know what he's doing."

"Can we see him?" Mother asked.

"Not yet," Jiraiya said. "They're still trying to decide how to deal with him."

Ibiki looked around the room. "Where's Dad?" he asked.

"I haven't seen him," Jiraiya said. He turned to Anko and Sakumo. "Did either of you see Akihiro?"

They both shook their heads.

"That's not right," Ibiki said. "He would be here if he could be. I need to go check on him. Sometimes his leg has too much trouble for him to get far on his own."

Ibiki left the room at a normal pace, but as soon as he knew the others couldn't see him he quickened his pace as much as he could in a hospital. When he left the building he began to run.

_I hope Dad isn't hurt, _he thought. _If Kakashi hurt a medic he might have hurt Dad._

He took to the roofs to avoid the people in the streets, and he felt the occasionally tile slip under his foot, clattering to the ground below. Once his foot broke through a roof. He stumbled, but he caught himself and kept going.

When he got home and opened the door he saw what he had feared. His father's chair was on its side, and he lay near it. _He's not moving, _Ibiki thought. He moved to his father and reached out for his neck, but he pulled his hand back. He couldn't stand the thought of touching cooling flesh.

He stepped back into his mind. _You have to help me, _he said to the Interrogator. _Dad's hurt bad._

_I see him, _the Interrogator said. _I don't know anything about medicine. Do you know CPR?_

_Yes, _Ibiki said.

_Then you know more than I do. You have to help him._

Ibiki left his mind and touched his father's neck tentatively, and when he felt a steady, strong pulse he almost cried with relief.

Akihiro was lying on his side, with his bad leg under him.

"Dad?" Ibiki asked. He shook his father a bit.

Akihiro opened his eyes and groaned. He put his hands around his knee and made a choking sound.

"What should I do?" Ibiki asked. His father didn't answer. Ibiki saw him go limp again.

He pushed his father onto his back so he wouldn't lie on his leg if he woke again. "I'm going to get a medic," he said. He didn't know if his father could hear him or not. "I'll be back soon."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A nurse came to the waiting room. "Who is responsible for Hatake Kakashi?" she asked.

"I am," Mother said. "Can we see him?"

"He's still aggressive. We don't think he knows who's around him."

"He might know I was there," Jiraiya said. "The last time he was ill he could feel my chakra. I might be able to calm him down."

"Come with me," the nurse said. She led Jiraiya down a long hall to a room with a strong metal door and no number.

_It looks ominous, _Jiraiya thought.

The nurse opened the door, and Jiraiya saw that they had put Kakashi in a padded cell. He stepped inside, and the nurse moved to follow him. "I'll call some orderlies," she said. "It takes four to handle him. He has a lot of spunk."

"Leave us alone," Jiraiya said.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," she said. "He's extremely strong and fast."

"Do you know who I am?" Jiraiya asked.

"Of course," she said.

"Then you must know I'm one of the strongest ninjas in the world. I can handle a seven year old boy in a straightjacket, even if he's a Jounin."

"I feel that it's my responsibility to..."

"You've done your duty," Jiraiya said. "Leave me with my family. I've been injured before. I'm not afraid of what might happen."

The door clanged shut loudly behind him, and he assessed the situation. Kakashi was lying on his back in a straightjacket. There was something that looked like leather over his eye, and an abomination over his mouth. It was a metal grate with a leather harness.

"What the hell did they do to you?" he asked.

Kakashi's head rolled sideways, and he mumbled something.

_He's filthy, _Jiraiya thought. _They could have at least cleaned him up._

In his struggles one of his testicles had slipped out of the sparse cloth at the bottom of the suit. Jiraiya couldn't imagine many situations with less dignity.

_He's usually so concerned with looking dignified, _Jiraiya thought. _This must be so hard for him_.

He sat by Kakashi, and he noticed that as soon as he came near him Kakashi began to move. He heard a snap under the mask.

_He's trying to bite me! _Jiraiya thought. It was hard to believe this was the same boy he'd played with when he was younger.

"Kakashi? It's your uncle. Do you know me?"

Kakashi mumbled, and he shied away from Jiraiya's hand when he held it out and laid it across Kakashi's forehead. His massive paw dwarfed Kakashi's forehead.

Jiraiya let chakra flow from his hand, controlling it carefully. He didn't bend or twist it as he would with a jutsu. He just let it come out and into Kakashi's head, and he saw Kakashi stop struggling. He lay still and began to cry.

Jiraiya watched the tears flow. "It's ok," he said.

He heard Kakashi mumbling. He understood the words, "Iwa and Mother".

_I'd better do something about this, _he thought. "I killed the Iwa nins," he said, hoping he wasn't making a mistake. Kakashi was on his meds, and if this helped him until they kicked in it was worth the lie. They said it would take two weeks. It was a long time to wait.

Kakashi mumbled again, and Jiraiya wasn't sure if it was because of the tranqs or the mask, but he couldn't understand him.

"Let's get you straightened up a bit," Jiraiya said.

_Where do I start? _He wondered. _There's so much wrong here. I might as well start with the most difficult part._

"I'm not going creepy uncle on you," Jiraiya said, "but you slipped out down here. I'm just going to cover you up, ok?"

Kakashi didn't respond, so Jiraiya quickly tucked him into the straightjacket, pulling the sparse cloth over the exposed area. _I really hope he doesn't remember this, _he thought.

"There," he said. "All better now."

He pushed Kakashi onto his side so he could take the mask off. "I know you won't try to bite me," he said. "You know who I am."

The mask had large buckles in the back, and Jiraiya pulled at them. He slid the abomination off Kakashi's face and noticed the indentations where the leather had pressed into his skin. He touched Kakashi's face, and this time Kakashi leaned into his hand and closed his eye.

He moved Kakashi so that he was lying on his back again. It seemed like that would be more comfortable.

A leather circle was over his Sharingan, and Jiraiya saw small red marks around it. He touched them, feeling thread under his fingers.

_Did they really sew something over his eye? _He wondered. Anger built in him. Kakashi was filthy, humiliated, and disfigured. _I have to get him out of here._

Jiraiya sat back and closed his eyes, forcing himself to meditate and calm himself. _He needs me to be calm, _he thought. _They're doing the best they can for him. I know that. If it was someone I didn't care for this would just be security precautions._

He opened his eyes and saw Kakashi looking at him. At least that's what he thought was happening; his eyes were blurry and unfocused.

_I can't assume that people I don't know are taking care of him, _he thought. _How many people might hate him because of his father? How many Uchihas work in the hospital?_

Straps held the fabric that bound Kakashi's arms. They were crossed behind his back. Jiraiya untied them, watching Kakashi carefully.

"I'm going to move you now," he said. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not," Kakashi said. His voice was quiet and subdued, but Jiraiya could understand him now.

He sat Kakashi up and leaned him against the wall. "Don't fight me," he said. He pulled the jacket down from the shoulders to Kakashi's waist and looked for any signs of abuse or self-inflicted wounds.

Kakashi had a few cuts and bruises, but nothing more than was normal for a ninja.

"What 'r you doin'?" Kakashi slurred.

"I'm just making sure no one has hurt you," Jiraiya said. He checked Kakashi's head, feeling for any wounds.

When he had assured himself that Kakashi's head was uninjured, he said, "lay down on your stomach. I want to look at your back."

Kakashi did as he was told, and Jiraiya was glad to see that his back was free of wounds as well. "Ok, you're clear," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi rolled back onto his back and flexed his hands. Jiraiya wasn't sure how much he understood, but he seemed placid.

The door opened, and a nurse stepped in. "You can't do that!" she said. "We have to keep him restrained!"

Kakashi sat up and blinked his eye. Jiraiya saw that the pupil was dilated and seemed to look at some spot between him and the nurse. Kakashi reached for the kunai at Jiraiya's waist, but his movements were slow and clumsy.

Jiraiya caught his wrist. "I killed all the Iwa nins, remember? That's a nurse."

"Yeah," Kakashi said.

"Lay down," Jiraiya said. "Don't make me regret freeing you."

Kakashi lay down.

_It's amazing how much he trusts me, _Jiraiya thought.

"He has to be restrained," she said. "He's too dangerous to leave free."

"I'll do it," Jiraiya said. "Can we at least leave the mask off?"

"He's a biter," she said. "The nurse he bit might not ever use her thumb again."

"Leave me alone with him," Jiraiya said. "He'll take it from me better than an orderly."

When they were alone he tried to explain the situation to Kakashi. "I have to put the jacket and mask back on," he said.

He pulled the jacket back up to Kakashi's shoulders, but when he moved to tie the straps in the back, Kakashi said, "no. Don't."

"I have to," Jiraiya said. "If I don't, they will, and I don't know how gentle they'll be. You'd rather have me do it than them."

He began to buckle the straps, but Kakashi struggled against him. He wasn't trying to bite, but he obviously didn't want to be tied again.

"I know you trust me," Jiraiya said. "I'm helping you right now. I know it doesn't feel like it, but I am."

"Wanna go home," Kakashi said. "Want my Mother."

"I know. I'm going to do what I can to get you home, but you have to stop fighting the nurses. The Iwa nins are dead. Remember that. Repeat what I said."

"Iwas are dead," Kakashi said.

"That's right. Now let me buckle you in."

This time Kakashi let him restrain him, but he cried softly the entire time.

"I'm going to put the mask on now," Jiraiya said.

"No," Kakashi said, but he didn't fight as Jiraiya fixed it onto his face.

_Is it just me, or is he looking at me like I betrayed him? _Jiraiya thought. _No. He would be fighting me if he felt that way. It's my imagination. _

It tore him apart to leave Kakashi like that, but he had to deal with the nurses and try to at least get them to take the mask off.

The nurse was waiting outside the door. "What did you do to his eye?" Jiraiya asked.

"We had to cover it quickly," she said. "One of the Uchihas suggested that we cover the eye with a leather patch."

"Did you have to sew it on?" Jiraiya asked. "He's going to have scars."

"It wasn't a concern at the time. He's a human weapon. We had to make a quick judgment call."

"And that mask?" Jiraiya asked. "You couldn't come up with anything better than that?"

"No," she said. "It's standard protocol for a biter. The metal grate looks bad, but it allows him to breathe freely. The reason it's designed like that is in case he vomits. There is room for it to get out of the mask without him drowning in it. We're taking good care of him."

"Could you clean him up?" Jiraiya asked. "He's filthy. I'm sure he'd feel better if he was at least clean."

"We're not comfortable doing that just yet," she said. "When I feel that my staff is safe we'll clean him, but until then we're keeping physical contact to a minimum."

"I feel safe with him," Jiraiya said. "I'll do it."

"How is he?" Sakumo asked as soon as Jiraiya entered the waiting room.

"Is he ok?" Anko asked.

"Are they taking good care of him?" Mother asked.

_How do I explain this? _Jiraiya wondered. "He's resting," he said. "He recognized me, and he thinks that I killed the Iwa nins."

"I want to see him," Anko said.

"Can we visit him?" Sakumo asked.

"He asked for you, Mrs. Morino," Jiraiya said. "I'll go in with you, just to be sure he knows who you are. He was calm when I left, but I don't know how he's feeling now."

The nurse argued with them, but Mother was insistent.

_That's one hell of a woman, _Jiraiya thought. The little old woman had the nurse jumping.

"This is disturbing," Jiraiya said. "He's not very coherent, and they had to restrain him."

"I'm ready," Mother said.

She gasped when she saw Kakashi. As soon as she made the sound, Kakashi's head snapped around, and he looked toward them with that one, unfocused eye. He mumbled something.

"Can you tell what he said?" Mother asked.

"I don't know, but it sounded angry," Jiraiya said. "Let me approach him first. He'll know who I am when he feels my chakra."

When he pushed chakra into Kakashi the boy settled again. "I brought your Mother," Jiraiya said.

"Stand back," Jiraiya said to Mother. He pulled the mask off Kakashi's face. "You're not going to bite anyone, right?" he asked.

"No," Kakashi said.

Mother sat by Kakashi, putting his head in your lap. "Poor baby," she said. "Mother's here."

"Wanna go home," Kakashi said.

"I know. You're sick, Sweetie. You need to stay here for awhile."

"Wanna go home," Kakashi whined. He'd never really stopped crying since he recognized Jiraiya, but now the tears flowed more freely. "I'm scared."

"I know," she said. "You can't go home yet. We'll take you home as soon as we can, but you have to be good until then."

"Is he injured at all?" she asked Jiraiya.

"No. I checked him over, and he's physically fine. I don't like what they did to his eye, but it's done now."

"I'm going to get a bowl of warm water and some soap," Mother said.

"I'll stay with him," Jiraiya said.

"I have to go Sweetie," she said. "I'll be back."

She came back and set the bowl by Kakashi. "Help me with him," she told Jiraiya.

They leaned him against the wall again. "Back up a bit," Jiraiya said. "I want to make sure he won't try to hurt you."

He pulled off the mask and the straightjacket, stripping Kakashi to the waist. Kakashi's eye rolled in his head, showing the whites. His head slumped forward.

"I guess this has all been too much for him," Jiraiya said.

He held Kakashi upright as Mother washed his hair and ran her fingers through it to pull out the tangles. When it was as clean as simple soap could get it she moved to his chest, getting the grime off.

Kakashi didn't move as they worked on him – even when they rolled him over and washed his back.

"I wish we could at least get him a blanket and a pillow," Mother said.

"They won't let us," Jiraiya said. "I haven't asked, but I'm sure of it. They won't even let me keep him out of the straightjacket."

The door opened, and the nurse stepped in. "Mrs. Morino, you're needed in the emergency room."

"What?"

"It's your husband. He was just brought in. I don't know what's wrong, but your son said he'd wait for you there."

Jiraiya took her hand and squeezed. "Go," he said. "I'll stay here."


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45

Ibiki was waiting for Mother in the emergency room. Akihiro lay in one of the beds, connected to various machines.

"He's so still," Ibiki said.

"He's alive," Mother said. "That's what matters. Do you know what happened?"

"I found him on the floor," Ibiki said. "I think he fell. He came to and grabbed his knee before he passed out again."

Mother went to Akihiro and touched his face, running her hand across his jaw. He had a strong jaw – something she'd always found attractive.

"All we can do is wait now," she said. "Have the doctors said anything?"

"Not yet," Ibiki said. "Have you heard anything about Kakashi?"

"I saw him," Mother said.

"They let you in? Can I see him?"

"Absolutely not," Mother said.

"Why?" Ibiki asked. "He's my brother. He needs me."

"I don't want you to see him right now. They have him tied up and sedated. It's disturbing, and I have to think about you too."

"I'll be fine," Ibiki said.

"Don't argue with me," Mother said. "I've made my decision."

"Yes ma'am," Ibiki said.

"I'll let you know as soon as you can see him," Mother said. "I'll stay with Kakashi, and you stay with your Father. Come find me if there's any change. I want to know everything."

"I'll send a clone so I can stay with him," Ibiki said.

"Good boy. This will end. Just remember that. We'll get them home and everything will be like it was before."

"I hope so," Ibiki said.

"I'm going to stay as close to Kakashi as I can," Mother said. "I love you. You're doing a good job."

Mother smiled and hoped he didn't see how sad she really felt. She kept her back straight as she walked away from him. _He needs to see me be strong._

She walked through swinging gray doors and found the nearest bathroom. She thanked gods that she'd never bothered to worship that the bathroom was empty.

After running a sink of cold water she splashed her face. The mirror showed her an old woman, beaten and tired.

_Do I have it in me to do this again? _She wondered. When Akihiro had hurt his knee the first time it had been months of hell for her before he was as healed as he would get.

_I have Kakashi this time too, _she thought. She remembered all the heartache and exhaustion of those months. She had cared for her husband like a nurse – staying with him, cleaning him – even helping him with his urine bottle when he needed it. He'd enjoyed the sponge baths. Out of all the horrid things that happened, that stuck out as a good memory and make her chuckle just a bit.

_Kakashi needs me too this time, _she thought. _I have Ibiki to help this time, but I have to make sure he stays healthy too._

She leaned her head against the mirror. "I can do this," she said.

She tried to hold back the tears, but they came anyway. "I can do this," she said. She heard someone come into the bathroom, and wiped her tears away.

"Are you ok?" a nurse asked. She was young and pretty, with dark hair and violet eyes.

_She's so young. What can she know of pain? _Mother wondered.

"I'll be fine," she said. "It's just a bad day."

"We have a chaplain if you need to talk to someone," the nurse said.

"Thank you, but I'm not religious."

"You don't have to be. He's a good listener. I've talked with him a few times myself. Sometimes it's good just to let it out."

Mother almost said no again, but she did want someone she could talk to. She couldn't burden Ibiki, and Akihiro wasn't available.

The nurse gave her directions. "Follow the brown line on the floor until you reach the elevator. On floor two you'll see a chapel nearby."

She'd been in a few chapels when she was young, and this one was just like all the others. Red accents were scattered everywhere – the curtains, the priest's robes, even the Konoha leaf painted on the wall. A ritual fire burned in a brazier in the center of the room.

"Come in, Sister," the priest said. "I'm Brother Riu. How can I help you?"

He was what some would call "pleasantly plump". There was something about his face that made her feel that she could trust him.

"I just need someone to talk to," she said. "I'm so tired."

"Sit down," he said. "I'll fix you some cleansing tea. It's very relaxing and energizing at the same time."

He whisked matcha tea briefly and handed her a cup. "Smell it," he said. "I put some herbs in it."

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the herbal scent soothe her. She sipped at the tea. It had a slightly medicinal taste, but it was pleasant.

"Now, what's been bothering you?" the priest asked.

"I don't know where to start," she said. "So much has happened. I've been so strong for them, but I'm so tired. They still need me; I can't stop now."

"Who needs you?"

"My husband and sons," she said. "My husband is injured and one of my sons is sick. The other one is recovering, but he's ill too."

"Are they all in the hospital?" the priest asked.

"My husband and Kakashi – my son – are here. My other son Ibiki is waiting with my husband. I've been through this before with Akihiro. I can do it again, but I don't know how I'll take care of him and Kakashi at the same time."

"You have limits," the priest said. "Your son Ibiki does too. Do you have family who can help?"

"My sister is the only one who will speak to me," Mother said, "and she won't even admit that Akihiro exists. My family hates him."

"Surely they will put old grudges aside for you if you need them this much?"

"No," Mother said. "It's because of something I did when I was younger. They'll never forgive me. My sister talks to me, and I see her a couple times a week to play cribbage with her friends. We don't talk much."

"Perhaps it's time to talk now."

"You don't understand," she said. "My family is very religious. They can't accept who I am because of what I did."

"Does one of your sons have friends that might help?"

"Yes," Mother said, finally feeling that there might be some hope. "They both have a lot of friends, and Kakashi has family that loves him. I didn't even think about them."

"There is always hope," the priest said. "Would you like me to say a prayer with you?"

"I can't accept that," Mother said. "My sin is too much. I haven't felt comfortable with prayer in decades."

"No sin is too much to accept a prayer," Brother Riu said.

"You don't understand," Mother said. "I'm the other woman."

She saw the disbelief on Brother Riu's face. "I know it's hard to believe now, but I was beautiful when I was younger, and Akihiro was so stunning. Some men had taken me; they were going to sell me."

She stopped, immersed in the memory.

"Go on," Brother Riu said. "If you need to confess after all these years I'll listen. I have no right to judge you. Say what you need to say."

"One of them wanted to rape me, but there was a younger member of their group - a man named Maniko - who wouldn't let him. He said he didn't want the merchandise damaged. It went on for a week, and I knew that any day one of them would get me. Maniko was always there, protecting me. He even slept near me so they couldn't hurt me."

"Then one night I woke, and a ninja was standing over me. He held a sword by his side, and he was covered in blood. I didn't know what to think. I had gone from being their captive to being his, or so I thought. All the people who had taken me were dead. They were still in their blankets. I hadn't even heard him move until he was standing over me."

She stopped and sipped her tea. It really was calming.

"He told me that he was sorry it took so long, but he had to get information out of them before he killed them. He was Maniko the entire time. It had been a henge, and now that I saw the real man that he was I felt - I don't know – charmed. He was one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. He's still handsome, but back then he was the strongest, most powerful man I'd ever seen. He had a beautiful body and a soul to match."

The priest was leaning toward her, clearly interested.

"He picked me up and carried me away," she said. "He ran for days, stopping only to eat. I slept in his arms as he ran. We talked when he finally stopped to rest, and I hung on every word he said. He was so glamorous. His smile was like a sun to me."

The priest refilled her cup.

"He never touched me, but by the time we reached Konoha our hearts belonged to each other. I was so sad when I learned that he was married with children, and I decided not to speak to him again. I ran into him at the market. He'd come to find a toy for his youngest child's birthday, and we started talking."

"It was so innocent at first. He invited me to the birthday party, and I went. I told myself that I just wanted to be with him – that even if we couldn't ever be lovers we could be friends. It worked for awhile, but then one night his wife was gone, and we became lovers. It wasn't something we planned. It just happened."

"That is my sin," she said. "He left his wife and married me, and my family disowned me. It was years before even my sister would talk to me."

"Forgiveness is always near," Brother Riu said. "You understand that what you did was wrong?"

"I understand," she said. "I knew it then."

"Then if you repent…"

"But that's just it," she interrupted him. "I don't repent."

"What?"

"What we did was dishonorable, and I regret that. But I can't repent because my son was born from it, and because I would take every fire of hell to be with my Akihiro. Ibiki is an amazing boy; he's so strong. He looks after us and takes care of his brother when he's sick. I can never regret having him, no matter how wrong it was that we conceived him."

"We did what we could to make it right. My husband would be rich with what he makes as a Jounin, but almost all of his money goes to his first wife and her family. Me and my son live in near poverty so that Akihiro and I can try to regain some sense of honor. I've never complained that we were poor, or that my son had so little. It's our way of making it right."

"I can't offer forgiveness," Brother Riu said. "That isn't in my power. I can offer you the ritual of cleansing, if you want."

"And what can I do to repent?" she asked. "Would you tell me to give up my husband? My family is everything to me. I don't even use the name I was born with. I gave it up when my family turned me away."

"The scriptures are clear on adultery," the priest said. "You already know that. Forgiveness is still available to you."

"My husband still carries the guilt with him," Mother said. "He always will. I wish we didn't hurt his wife; she's a good woman. I feel like if I repent that I say that our love is wrong. It's like saying that Ibiki should have never been born. I can't do that."

"You don't have to," the priest said. "No child is ever a sin. You can move on from where you are now. The knot is too tangled to be undone, but the string is still useful."

"You really are concerned for me, aren't you?" Mother asked.

"You have enough burdens in the present without this one from the past," he said.

"It isn't a burden anymore," Mother said.

"Then why did you feel the need to speak of it?"

"Ibiki came back from the field mutilated," she said. "There are times when I look at his scars and wonder if he's paying for my sin. Maybe it's more of a burden than I want to admit."

"He's a ninja," Brother Riu said. "Such things happen to ninjas. It's no one's sin."

"Thank you," Mother said. "I hope that's true."

"I can always offer you the ritual of cleansing by fire," he said. "I'm trained in the application."

"Not now," she said. "I've thought about it before, for my son's sake, but later. I can't afford the distraction at the moment."

"You seem stronger now," Brother Riu said. "The tea has a strengthening effect, but I think it might have helped to get some of this out."

"I feel more like myself," Mother said. "I remember what I need to do. Thank you for talking with me."

She stood to go.

"You can come talk to me anytime," Brother Riu said. "For what it's worth, I respect your strength."

She headed toward the floor where they were keeping Kakashi. There were things she had to do, and speaking with Brother Riu had reminded her that she was strong. _I stood the hate of my family and took care of Akihiro the first time. I can do it again._

There was another reason she felt more in control of the situation. Something the priest said rang true with her. There were people she could ask for help that she'd never thought of.

_I'm not alone, _she thought. _It took me a long time to realize it, but I'm not alone._

Jiraiya, Sakumo, and Anko were still in the waiting room. Asuma and Kurenai had joined them.

"How is your husband?" Jiraiya asked.

"He's still in the ICU," Mother said. "Ibiki is staying with him."

She's noticed that whenever she was in the same room with Sakumo he avoided looking her in the eye. She knew why, of course.

_I'm doing this for Kakashi, _she thought.

"Sakumo-san, I need to speak with you," she said.

"With me?"

_I thought ninjas were supposed to hide their emotions, _she thought. _He's surprised. I can imagine why._

"Yes – privately."

They stepped into the hallway.

_I'm doing this for Kakashi, _she thought again. She needed the reminder.

"I forgive you," she said.

"What?" Sakumo asked.

"For Kakashi's sake, I forgive you," she said. It felt like someone had lifted a mountain off her chest.

Sakumo's smile was broad and heartening. "Thank you," he said. "You don't know what it means to me."

"The last time Akihiro hurt himself it took everything I had to take care of him. Kakashi needs both of us. I know why you let him go, but it's time for you to be back in his life."

_I don't want to say it, _she thought, _but I have to. _"I need help. I can't do this alone."

"Tell me anything you need," Sakumo said. "Anything."

"I don't know yet," she said, "but knowing you're available is enough for now."

When they went back in she noticed little Anko in the corner. _She always seems to want to hide, _Mother thought.

"Anko, it's 2 a.m. Shouldn't you be home?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter," Anko said. "I want to stay here. I want to see Kakashi when they let me."

"Go home," Mother said. "Give me your address, and I'll send for you if they let us in. You need to sleep."

Anko wrote down her address and left, but Mother had a feeling she wouldn't be sleeping.

"Jiraiya-sama, I know how much you care about Kakashi," she said. "I'll need help with him when he gets out."

"You don't even have to ask," Jiraiya said. "I'm talking to the mission director tomorrow and telling him not to give me any missions unless it's necessary. I might have to leave, but if they can spare me I'll stay."

_I'm not alone, _she thought. Kakashi's friends and family had been there for him when he was sick before, but now she knew she wouldn't have to care for an ailing man, a disturbed and ill child, and a recovering son all at the same time.

"Kurenai, Asuma, you should go home as well. Come back tomorrow, and we'll let you know what happens."

With the children gone she settled in for the night. She found a corner chair and leaned against the wall so she could sleep. She'd spent enough time waiting for Akihiro when he injured himself before, and then Ibiki, and then Kakashi to know what to do in a hopital.

Ibiki's clone woke her an hour later. "Dad woke up," he said. "They have him on pain meds, but he's mostly conscious."

"I'll be back," she said to Sakumo and Jiraiya. She almost ran to the ICU, only to find that he'd been moved to a room.

"Hey, Butterfly," Akihiro said when he saw her.

"You haven't called me that for thirty years," she said.

"How is Kakashi?" he asked.

"He's in a room," Mother said. "It's bad, but he has a lot of people to help him through it." She left out the ugly details. Akihiro was injured, and there was no need to burden him with something he couldn't do anything about.

"Jiraiya-sama and Sakumo-san are going to help us," she said.

"Sakumo-san?" Akihiro asked.

"I asked him," she said. "It's time we forgave him, for both our sons' sake."

"Yes," Akihiro said. "We're all family now, aren't we?"

"I guess so," she said. "It's not what I would have wanted, but we have to put our pride aside. We need all the help we can get right now."

"I'm sorry you have to go through this again," Akihiro said. "It's not nearly as bad as last time. They said I tore a ligament, and with a good course of chakra healing I should be back on my walker in a couple of weeks. They've come a long way since the last time."

"That's not so bad," she said. "We dealt with much worse."

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, looking into her eyes with those still-haunting, smoky gray eyes that trapped her when he was younger.

"You're amazing," he said. "Just when I think I have you figured out…"

"I have to keep you guessing," she said. She kissed him, and the fear of losing him brought out more passion than she'd felt in years.

"I was afraid I'd lost you," she said. "When they told me you were injured I thought Kakashi might have killed you."

"I don't think there's a ninja in the village that could kill me that easily," Akihiro said.

"I love you so much," she said. She kissed him again, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her partly onto the bed so that she was chest to chest with him.

_I haven't felt so alive in years, _Mother thought. All her earlier tiredness was gone. Her hero was alive, and that was all that mattered.

"When you get better I have some plans," she said.

"Oh, really?" Akihiro asked. "And what plans might those be?"

She leaned forward and whispered into his ear. "Do you remember that thing that you asked me to do when I was younger, but I always said no because I was too afraid to try it?"

"You don't mean…?"

"Yes. When you get better I'll let you do that to me. I was feeling tired and old earlier, but thinking that I might have lost you has made me feel young again."

"Keep those thoughts," Akihiro said. "When I'm off the pain meds and home again I'll take you up on them."

She lay her head on his chest. "We'll be ok," she said. Her strength had returned, and she felt more optimistic about the future.

_I don't know what's going to happen with Kakashi, but at least Akihiro will be there to help me. _

"Go back to Kakashi," Akihiro said. "I want to know when things change. I plan on being there myself as soon as I can. Give him my love."

She went back to sit near Kakashi's room with Jiraiya and Sakumo. _I'm not alone, _she thought as she drifted off to an uneasy rest. It helped to know others would share the burden.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46

"But _why _can't I see him?" Anko asked the nurse in charge. "It's visiting hours now."

"I told you already," the nurse snapped. "You'll have to bring your parents if you want to see a psychiatric patient."

"But he needs me," Anko said. "I just know it."

"I'm not arguing with you anymore, young lady. Bring your parents back or wait until he's moved to a regular room."

When she went back to the waiting room Asuma and Kurenai were there. "They won't let us in without our parents coming to say it's ok," she said.

"I already asked Dad," Asuma said. "He said I can't see Kakashi while he's in the psych ward – that he thinks it would bother me too much. He was here last night, and he said that Kakashi's really out of it."

"My parents said no too," Kurenai said. "They don't understand."

"I'm going to try to talk to my Dad," Anko said. "I don't think he'll say yes, but I'm going to try. There's no use even trying to talk to Mom."

Kurenai hugged Anko, but she pulled away. "Why do you do that?" Anko asked. "You know I don't like it."

"I'm sorry," Kurenai said. "You've let me before. I just thought…"

"You thought I needed it?" Anko asked. "I don't need a cuddly friend. I need a comrade. Comrades don't hug; they protect each other."

"You know you have that too," Kurenai said. She held her hand out, and Anko grasped it firmly.

"That's better than hugs any day," Anko said.

Her parents' house was the same as she remembered it, but it looked different. She had loved the pink trim on the house, but now it looked stupid and civilian – soft and weak. The flowers her mother had always cared about seemed frivolous and silly now, and the little welcome mat angered her.

Anko kicked at the mat. _I'm not welcome, _she thought. She knocked on the door loudly.

Her father answered the door, and he was as tall and angry as she remembered him. She could feel his dark eyes judging her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Good to see you too," Anko said.

"I told you not to come back here," he said. "Didn't you understand that?"

"I understood," Anko said. "I just need a little thing and I'll go away again. I wouldn't even have come, except I'm still a minor and I have to have your permission."

"My permission to _what?" _ her father asked.

"My boyfriend is in the hospital, and he's really sick. The nurse said I can't see him unless one of my parents comes with me. I know Mom won't do it, but I thought you might. That's all I need – just for you to tell them I can go see him. It's not much."

"You have some nerve," her father said. "Do you think I've forgotten your sister?"

"It's not my fault she died!" Anko yelled.

"It was your jutsu that killed her," he said.

"I was under Orochimaru's genjutsu. He thought it was funny to do that to me and make me hurt Konoha ninjas. I didn't even know it was her until you told me. I thought she was an enemy ninja."

"So you've said. I don't believe it. You were always strong against genjutsu."

"Orochimaru is stronger," Anko said. "You have no idea how strong he is."

"I have nothing more to say to you," her father said.

"Please," Anko said. "It's just this little thing."

"You really want this, don't you?" he asked.

"So much. It won't take long."

"Then it makes me happy to say no." He closed the door in her face.

"Dad? Dad?"

No answer.

"I love you," Anko said quietly before she left.

There was nowhere else to go, so she went back to the waiting room. She sat as far away from everyone else as she could, and when Kurenai approached her she was blunt. "I want to be alone," she said.

Sakumo saw her sitting alone, and he came and sat next to her. He handed her a packet of corn chips. "Vending machine food isn't much, but it's something," he said.

He gave it back to him. "I don't want it."

He opened the package and ate a couple chips. "You sure? They're good." He held the package toward her.

Anko's stomach grumbled.

"When's the last time you ate?" Sakumo asked.

"I don't know," she said. "My stomach is upset."

"Eat that for now," Sakumo said. "They won't let us see Kakashi for a while yet. He's having some problems and Dr. Yamanako was with him. He has to have some medication before he can have visitors."

"They let Jiraiya-sama and Mother Morino in last night," Anko said.

"Night shift tends to be more lax. We'll just have to wait."

Anko ate a couple chips and stopped.

"That's not enough," Sakumo said.

"I don't want any more," she said.

"Kakashi told me about your family," Sakumo said. "Anko, when is the last time anyone took care of you?"

She looked up at Sakumo. _My father never looked at me like that, _she thought. _That's how he looks at Kakashi._

Sakumo put some chips in her hand. "Eat those at least, and after I see Kakashi I'm going to make sure you get some real food, ok?"

He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer so that she was leaning against him. She almost pulled away from him, but it was different than Kurenai's hugs.

"I wish you were my Dad," she said.

Sakumo sighed. "What have we done to our children?" he muttered.

"What?" Anko asked.

"Nothing. Things will get better. Kakashi's going to get some medicine, and he'll go home in a couple weeks, and then you, me, and Kakashi can spend some time together. Would you like that?"

"Yes," she said.

A nurse approached them. "Kakashi has calmed down enough for visitors, if you'll come too Jiraiya-sama. We had to sedate him again, but he should be able to talk to you. We didn't use as much as last night."

"I have to go now," Sakumo said to Anko, "but I'll come back, and we'll go get something to eat."

"Thank you Sakumo-san," Anko said.

Jiraiya stopped him outside the door. "I know I told you what they did, but you need to make sure you're prepared. It's bad."

"I'll keep my emotions in check," Sakumo said.

Sakumo opened the door, unsure of what he'd find. He'd expected to see Kakashi fighting or at least struggling, but what he saw was even more disturbing.

"He's not moving," Sakumo said. Kakashi lay still. Sakumo had been prepared for the straightjacket, the eye-patch, even the mask, but what he'd never expected to see was his boy looking like this. "He almost looks dead." The last time he was in the hospital he had at least been in a bed, but now he looked tiny and helpless.

Sakumo and Jiraiya knelt by Kakashi. "He's not quite unconscious," Jiraiya said.

Kakashi's eye was barely open, and Sakumo could see a slit of white. He lifted the eyelid and saw a pupil so dilated he could barely see any iris.

"They said he wouldn't be as sedated as last night," Sakumo said.

He took Kakashi's hand. "Can you hear me Son?" he asked. "Squeeze my hand if you hear me."

He felt a slight pressure and saw Kakashi's small fingers curl around his. His hand slipped out of Sakumo's and lay limp on the floor.

"Something is very wrong here," Sakumo said. He put his finger on Kakashi's pulse. "His pulse is weak."

He felt a pause in Kakashi's pulse, and then a few slow beats – then nothing. _This can't be happening._

"Nurse!" he yelled. "I need someone in here, right now! His heart just stopped!"

There was a flurry of activity. Sakumo and Jiraiya moved away toward the wall to let the medical staff work.

"Remember your training," Jiraiya said. "Emotions come later. Right now you need your head clear."

"How can you say that?" Sakumo asked. "He's dying."

"Remember your training," Jiraiya muttered, and Sakumo realized he was talking to himself.

"I've been through this before," Jiraiya said. "I was there when he quit breathing the other two times. He'll make it."

"He'll make it," Sakumo said. He could see glimpses of Kakashi as the medical staff worked on him.

"Clear!" he heard, and then a thump.

"Again." And another thump.

He heard the heart monitor begin to beep. "We need to get him in a bed," a doctor said. "I want to know everyone that's interacted with him since he was admitted and what they did."

"He's too dangerous to take out of here," one of the nurses told him. "Nurse Uchiha Takara said that he attacked some people. We have to keep him under control. She said he's incredibly dangerous."

"Put him in a bed, now," the doctor said. "Use one of the beds for prisoners if you have to, but I won't have him in here anymore. He won't be sacrificed to your paranoia."

"You weren't there," the nurse said. "He was an animal. He should be treated like an animal."

"You're on report," the doctor said. "Leave this room."

They lifted Kakashi onto a stretcher; Sakumo and Jiraiya followed them to a room.

"You'll have to stay out here," the doctor said.

"No," Jiraiya said. "This is more than a medical issue. I have reason to believe someone tried to assassinate him."

"There will be an internal investigation," the doctor said.

"It looks to me like someone gave him an overdose of tranquilizer," Jiraiya said. "While you conduct your investigation he'll have a military guard."

The doctor opened his mouth, but Jiraiya interrupted him.

"Twenty four/seven," Jiraiya said. "Someone might have tried to assassinate a Jounin."

He turned to Sakumo. "Tell the Hokage what happened. I'll stay here."

"I can't leave him like this," Sakumo said.

Jiraiya leaned close to Sakumo and whispered. "Have you forgotten how to follow orders, Chunin?"

They locked eyes. Jiraiya had never spoken to him that way. "No sir," Sakumo said. _I forgot I'm just a Chunin now._

Sakumo stopped by the waiting room for Anko. He didn't want to, but he knew that with Jiraiya watching Kakashi he was safe. _I'm not breaking another promise, _he thought. _Especially to a child. I'll just have to make this quick, but I can't let her fall through the cracks _. "I have to make a report about something," he said. "I can't eat with you, but I want to at least make sure you eat something."

She followed obediently, having to almost run to keep up with his long strides. "How is Kakashi?" she asked.

"They moved him to a room," Sakumo said, weighing his words carefully even as he spoke. He didn't want to upset her. "I'm not sure when we'll get to see him, but Jiraiya's in there with him. After I make my report I'll come back."

He stopped at the cafeteria and ordered Anko a sandwich and some fries. She wrinkled her nose. "I don't like fries."

"You need food," Sakumo said. "I can't stay and eat with you, or I would. Promise me you'll eat it all."

"I can take care of myself," she said.

"I know, but you shouldn't have to. We have a lot to fix with you kids, and I think the first part might be learning how to let you be kids. You kids have to learn to let us take care of you."

"I don't need that," Anko said. Sakumo heard the edge to her voice, and he saw raw rage in her eyes. "No one was there when I came back. No one took care of me when I was bleeding and scared. I took care of myself. That's how it's been for years, and it's how it's always going to be. Nobody but Kakashi really understands, and he can't be here."

_How do I reach her? _Sakumo wondered. _She has such an injured spirit._ He thought about Kakashi. _I need to do something here quickly. I can't let either of them go, but I have to make that report._

"I'm sorry no one was there for you, but I'm here now," Sakumo said. He knelt and held his arms out. "Come here."

Anko stepped away from him. "You can't just fix me," she said. "I'm not Kurenai. I'm not cuddly. I can't be what you want me to be."

"I don't want you to be anything," Sakumo said. "I just don't like seeing you hurt like this. You don't have to be so alone."

He saw something cross her face, and he could have sworn her lip quivered. "I don't know how to do anything else."

"When Kakashi gets well we'll spend some time together," Sakumo said. "You don't have to be anything for me. We could get some dango. You like dango, right?"

Anko smiled. "Yes."

"I thought that might get a smile out of you. I have to go now; this report won't wait. Eat your food, and we can talk more later."

The Hokage reacted like he'd expected, dropping everything and rushing to the hospital. _I wonder if he's thinking about a young boy that almost died or a tool of the village. _Sakumo wondered.

Sandaime could enter a room like a thunderclap when he chose. He stormed into the psych ward and went straight to the desk. "What the hell is going on in here?" he asked. "One of my ninjas came in here with no physical problems, and I just learned that he almost died."

"We're not sure," the nurse said. Sakumo noticed the characteristic Uchiha look. Even without a Sharingan he could spot an Uchiha a mile away.

"I'd better get some answers quickly or heads will roll," the Hokage said.

"Of course sir," the nurse said. She pointed to a couple interns frantically looking through papers. "We haven't found anything that might have caused this."

"Who gave him the sedative earlier?" Sakumo asked.

The nurse ignored him. "I'll have the information sent to you as soon as it's available, Hokage-sama."

"Who gave him the sedative earlier?" the Hokage asked.

"I did," the nurse said, "but we carefully monitor the drugs. You can look at the camera, and you'll see that I didn't take out more than a shot. To have the reaction Kakashi did he must have been given at least a triple dose, and you can see that I only took one. I would never hurt one of my patients."

"See that the information is brought to my office immediately," the Hokage said. "Have someone take me to him."

"He's on floor seven, in the detention room."

"Why would you put him in the detention room?" the Hokage asked.

"The doctor didn't want him in a straightjacket, but he has to be restrained."

"Restrained?" the Hokage asked. "Are you really that afraid of a sedated seven year old?"

"Yes," she said. "Of that one. You didn't see what he did to that poor nurse's hand. He's a little monster."

"You will not speak about him like that again," the Hokage said.

"Yes sir," she said.

The room they had put Kakashi in wasn't at all like a hospital room. There had obviously been no attempt made to make it comfortable or calming. Bare concrete floors and windowless walls made it look like a jail cell.

A doctor was giving orders to nurses, but the frantic nature of the room had calmed.

Sakumo heard the quiet "chit, chit" sound of a respirator and saw breathing tubes in Kakashi's nose.

"He can't even breathe on his own?" he asked.

"We're not taking any chances," the doctor said. "Breathing complications do happen with sedative overdose. We're going to have to put him on dialysis to get the drugs out of his system and clean his blood. Can I speak with you alone about a security matter, Hokage-sama?"

"Sakumo, wait for us outside," the Hokage said. He turned to the doctor. "Whatever you need to tell me about Kakashi's case can be said in front of Jiraiya."

Sakumo look one last look at Kakashi before he left the room. _The Hokage doesn't even trust me enough to handle a security matter dealing with my own son, _he thought. He waited outside, and it was only a few minutes before Jiraiya stuck his head out.

"You can come back in now," he said.

While he had been outside Kakashi's wrists and ankles had been fixed to the bed frame with handcuffs.

"Is that really necessary?" Sakumo asked.

"The staff are terrified of him," the Hokage said. "Apparently a staff member is starting a lot of rumors about him, and the staff thinks they'll be killed if he isn't restrained."

"What staff member?" Sakumo asked.

"You don't need to know that," the Hokage said.

"He's my son!" Sakumo said. "I want to know whose fault this is, and who would spread crazy rumors about him."

"I don't trust your ability to deal with this logically," the Hokage said. "This is an explosive situation politically. Kakashi is important to us, but he's just one ninja in a complicated village. I have to deal with this as a security matter, and you're not cleared or qualified to handle this information. I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen again, but you aren't a part of that solution."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Sakumo said. _He'll never trust me again – not really, _he thought.

He looked at Jiraiya to see how he was reacting to the Hokage's distrust, but Jiraiya looked away toward the wall.

"Stay with him until an ANBU arrives," the Hokage said to Jiraiya. "He'll be under surveillance until he's out of the hospital."

He looked toward Sakumo, but Sakumo turned his eyes downward. _I forget where I stand with him sometimes, _he thought.

The Hokage grasped Sakumo's upper arm. "Things will get better," he said. "Don't mistake my words for hate. I have a job to do, and I can't let personal feelings interfere."

"Personal feelings, sir?" Sakumo asked.

"You are a friend, Sakumo. I haven't forgotten that. I know you asked me before; I forgive you."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Sakumo said.

He thought the Hokage looked like he wanted to say something else, but the old man left.

"You agree with him, don't you?" Sakumo said to Jiraiya.

"Do we really have to have this conversation?" Jiraiya asked.

_He looks uneasy, _Sakumo thought. "You don't trust me either, do you?"

"That's not it at all," Jiraiya said. "It's not about what happened on your mission. You act like a Chunin now. I'm a Sanin of the village. I have to carry out my duties, and part of those includes deciding who can handle sensitive information. You're my brother, and I'll always love you, but as a ninja you're a liability. Your skills have deteriorated and I know you barely take any missions. I think you'd think about this as Kakashi's father and kill the one responsible. I can tell you that would cause massive problems in the village."

"So someone is going to get away with trying to kill him?" Sakumo asked, his voice rising. "Is there no justice?"

"You're not one to talk about justice," Jiraiya said. "If it hadn't been tempered with mercy in your case, you'd be dead."

Sakumo had nothing to say. _I probably should have known he felt like that, _he thought.

"Forget I said that," Jiraiya said. "I'm tired and stressed, and I say stupid things when I haven't had any sleep. I'm glad the Hokage showed you mercy."

"It's ok," Sakumo said, but it wasn't. He felt sick inside. _I can't really be mad, _he thought. _He's right. At least I have his affection. I can't really ask for more._

They watched Kakashi sleep, completely unresponsive to anything around him.

People arrived with a dialysis machine, and they chased Sakumo out of the room. Jiraiya refused to leave. "I'm security at the moment," he said. "I'm staying here."

No one argued with him. Sakumo stood outside the room feeling useless.

When the doctors left and Sakumo returned to see Kakashi attached to yet another machine, with tubes full of blood leading to and from it.

"How we feel about things isn't important," Jiraiya said. "What's important is trying to help Kakashi grow up as healthy as he can be. He's going to need us for a long time, and I think he'll have problems the rest of his life. We can't let things divide us."

"You're right," Sakumo said. "Thank you for what you've done for him."

They watched Kakashi sleep until BEAR arrived. "The Hokage said I'm to relieve you, Jiraiya-sama," he said. "An ANBU or Jounin will be posted here until Kakashi leaves the hospital. Tsunade-hime will be put in charge of administering his medication. This won't happen again."

"Thank you, BEAR," Sakumo said.

BEAR grunted. "You two look like hell. Go home and sleep. Kakashi is safe now."

Sakumo took one last look at his son, still and pale. "I'll be back later," he said. He kissed Kakashi on the forehead. "I'll look after Anko for you."

Anko was waiting for anyone to give him information. Her little sad, round face tugged at Sakumo's heart.

"He's sleeping right now," Sakumo said. "They moved him to another room, but you can't see him yet. Jiraiya and I are going home to get some sleep. You probably should too."

Mother Morino was still huddled in a chair against the wall. _All of that took so little time, _he thought. _It's only been two hours, but it felt like an eternity._

He touched her shoulder. "Mrs. Morino?"

She woke and rubbed red eyes. "How is he?" she asked.

Sakumo glanced at Anko. "Let's talk privately."

They left the waiting room and found a quiet nook with a vending machine. "We think someone gave him too much medicine. They've moved him to another room, but he's unconscious. He'll be ok, but there's an ANBU guarding him."

"Did someone try to kill him?" she asked.

"Probably. The Hokage and Jiraiya are looking into it. Right now I'm going home to get some sleep. He's going to be here for a long time, and we need to pace ourselves."

"My husband is here too," she said. "I can't leave yet. I'm going to let him know how Kakashi is, but I don't want to leave him here alone."

"Don't wreck your body," Sakumo said. "You can't do anything for either of them if you get sick too. You said you needed my help. I can stay here another four hours or so if you'll go home and get some rest."

"Thank you," she said. "I really am tired. I'll talk to Akihiro and go home for awhile."

"Goodbye, Jiraiya-sama," she said. "I'm sure I'll see you later."

Sakumo turned to see Jiraiya standing behind him, with his arms crossed and a disapproving look on his face.

"What is it now?" Sakumo asked when Mother was out of earshot. "I hate when you give me the big-brother look."

"You just told a civilian some sensitive information," Jiraiya said.

"She's his caretaker," Sakumo said. "She needs to know."

"You're not even thinking like a Chunin anymore," Jiraiya said. "You need to quit hanging around civilians so much. You're starting to think like one."

"I don't want to argue with you," Sakumo said. "She needs to know. I won't tell anyone else anything specific, not even Anko."

"See that you don't," Jiraiya said. "I'm not saying this to be a hard-ass. Kakashi has a lot of enemies, and we have to be extremely careful about what information gets out. If any hospital staff asks you questions about Kakashi, refer them to me, Akihiro, or the Hokage, and let us know who asked."

_It's not even my brother talking to me right now, _Sakumo thought. _It's the Sanin. He's right. I have to think like a ninja right now._

"I won't slip again," Sakumo said. "I haven't forgotten my training. I've gotten sloppy – I guess, but I haven't forgotten."

Jiraiya nodded. "I'll be back in a few hours. I need some down-time if I'm going to think straight."

"I sent Mrs. Morino home, "Sakumo said, "and I told her I'd leave when she gets back. I'll go home then."

"You always think of others first, just like Kakashi," Jiraiya said. "For what it's worth, I respect that. I know I've been harsh today, but I do love you."

"I know Brother," Sakumo said. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Flounder," Jiraiya said. He grinned. "But you'll never have to find out. I plan on living forever. Goodbye for now, Shithead."

"Goodbye, Fuckwad."

Sakumo settled in to wait for Mother's return. He picked up a hopelessly outdated magazine about fishing and tried to think about anything but the still, small form of his son.


	47. Chapter 47

AN: So I had to take off the no sex tag. I just couldn't resist such a hot couple.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 47

"You summoned me, Hokage-sama?" CROW asked.

"Take off your mask," Sandaime said.

CROW obeyed.

"Have you heard anything in your clan about an assassination attempt at the hospital?" the Hokage asked.

"It's the biggest gossip in the clan right now," Itachi said. "You have a real problem with nurse Takara. She's been telling everyone that Kakashi was weak enough that a shot of tranquilizer almost killed him. She's really worked up about it."

"I'm sure she's the one who tried to kill Kakashi," the Hokage said. "I can't prove it enough to have her arrested though, and I would need to have ironclad proof."

"There's new anger about this," Itachi said. "Now people are saying that Kakashi is too weak to deserve the Sharingan – that he embarrasses the clan."

"Have you heard anyone openly suggest violence?"

"Not yet, but it's not far away from that. I think something is going to happen at the next council meeting. I'm not sure what's being planned, but I wouldn't be surprised if Kakashi is a serious point of discussion."

The Hokage dismissed him and began to work on plans within plans. It wasn't just Kakashi he was protecting; it was also the future of his village.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mother slept a heavy, dreamless sleep, waking only when the alarm clock had been blaring for 10 minutes.

"Aki-kun, turn that off," she mumbled. She rolled over to fuss at Akihiro for letting the alarm go off for so long, only to find his side of the bed empty.

She touched his cold pillow. _That's right, _she thought. She sat up, feeling cold and empty.

Mother ate a solitary meal of cold cereal and almost out-of-date milk. _Is it breakfast or lunch? _she wondered. The house was too quiet. Ibiki and Kakashi should have been studying and talking about jutsus, or having childish arguments. Akihiro's paper should have been rustling, or he should have been talking. She needed to hear that deep, soothing voice. She missed hearing him talking to the boys – guiding and disciplining them.

Mother heard every tick of the clock – loud as death. _I need to get back to the hospital. _She poured what was left of her coffee into the sink and watched it drain.

She opened the door to Ibiki's room quietly and checked to make sure he was still sleeping. _I'm surprised I actually talked him into coming home._

_Who do I go to first? _She wondered. _They both need me. _

She decided on Akihiro. _I just need to see him. It will give me the strength to help Kakashi._

"Hey Butterfly," he said when he saw her. That same soft smile crossed his face that he only gave her.

_He sounds weak, _she thought. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he said. "The leg hurts, but it's been worse. How are the boys?"

"I'm about to go see Kakashi. Ibiki is home sleeping. I had trouble talking him into it though. He reminds me of you too much sometimes."

Akihiro grinned.

"You have the most adorable dimple when you grin," Mother said. She kissed him, and he put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her down to him.

He held her so close she could feel his heart beat. "You're my strength," she said.

"You're strong enough by yourself," he said. "You don't get that from me. That's all you."

"I do draw strength from you," she said, "more than you ever know. I had to come down here and see you before I visited Kakashi."

"Go do what you need to do," Akihiro said. "I'll be here when you're done."

She found Sakumo in the waiting room, with his feet propped up on a coffee table and his head on his chest. She heard deep, loud snores.

"Sakumo?"

He woke with a snort and ran his hand over his face. "Has it been four hours already?"

"It has," she said. "Go home. I'll take over from here."

_Why do they need to chain him like an animal? _She wondered when she saw Kakashi. _At least he's awake._

An ANBU stood in the corner with his arms crossed.

"You look better," Mother said to Kakashi.

"They got the drugs out of me," he said. "The Hokage won't let them sedate me anymore. He told them if they can't handle me when I'm not tied down, he'd just let Tsunade-hemi deal with me."

"Who is that?" Mother asked.

"She's a doctor," Kakashi said. "She's a friend of my Dad's too." He blushed.

Mother smiled. "And she's really pretty, I guess?" she asked.

"Yes, but don't tell Anko. She gets mad."

"I won't."

"When can I see Anko?" Kakashi asked. "I'm not seeing anything weird, and I feel better."

"I'll find out for you," she said. "They wouldn't let her see you before. I'll find out if she can come see you now."

"I haven't seen Akihiro either," Kakashi said. "Is he mad at me?"

"Of course not. Why would he be mad at you?"

"I cause a lot of problems. I don't mean to."

"You're not a problem," she said. "You're just sick right now. You'll get better."

"Where is he then?" Kakashi asked. "He was ok when I saw him. I didn't hurt him did I?"

Mother laughed before she could stop herself. "Oh Sweetie, you couldn't hurt Akihiro. Don't worry about that."

"You didn't answer my question," Kakashi said.

"He hurt his leg," Mother said. "He's in the hospital getting it looked at."

"Is it bad?" Kakashi asked.

"It's not good, but he'll be fine," Mother said. _I hope he'll be fine, _Mother thought.

"Tell him I'm sorry," Kakashi said.

"I'll tell him," Mother said, "but he won't know what you're sorry for. There's no shame in getting sick."

"They said I can't go home for another week and a half. By then the meds will be in my system and they can let me out. If they work this shouldn't happen again."

_He looks afraid, _Mother thought. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Just do what the doctors tell you and come home soon. We all love you."

"I love you too," Kakashi said.

She was interrupted by a busty blonde in a low-cut shirt and what Mother thought of as hooker heels. _What a slut, _Mother thought.

"You must be his Mother," she said.

"I am. Who are you?"

"My name is Tsunade. I'm going to be handling his case from now on. We know each other, don't we? Now what was your name? Scary Bluebird or something?"

"You know it's Scarecrow," Kakashi said.

Mother couldn't help rolling her eyes. "I see he's in good hands. I'll leave you with him."

_I can't believe that woman is a doctor, but if the Hokage trusts her then I trust her._

Tsunade read through Kakashi's chart. "You've had one hell of a bad week, haven't you?"

"I've been better," Kakashi said.

"You're safe now," Tsunade said. "BEAR and I won't let anyone hurt you in here."

She took the chains around his ankles one at a time, and snapped them as if they were strings.

"Are you allowed to do that?" Kakashi asked.

"I'd like to see anyone stop me," she said. "You don't want to hurt anyone, do you?"

"I never did," Kakashi said. "I thought I was fighting enemy ninjas. Are you sure that the medicine will keep me from doing that? I was aiming a killing blow at someone before CAT stopped me."

Tsunade pulled out a long needle. "We're going to help you get past that. We're going to make sure that there's enough medicine in your bloodstream."

"But that might take over a week," Kakashi said. "I'm really afraid I'm going to hurt someone. Keep the chains on me if you have to. I couldn't live with myself if I killed a Konoha citizen."

"An ANBU will be here, and you couldn't hurt me on your best day. We won't let you hurt anyone."

She bent over and took the chain on one of Kakashi's wrists. Before she broke it Kakashi got a good look at her cleavage. When she broke the chain her breasts jiggled, and he stared.

"Eyes up here," she said, but she smiled.

She broke the other chain, and he flexed his hands. "Thank you," he said. Tsunade was glad that he couldn't see BEAR come to a fighting stance behind him.

"You can stand down," she said to BEAR. "I'm treating him like a patient, not a criminal."

She drew blood from him and looked at the needle. "Well, would you look at that?" she said, looking at the blood. "That's something special."

"What?" Kakashi asked. "Is it bad? What is it?"

"I see the blood of a brave little ninja, and one that I happen to like very much." She leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead, and he couldn't help but stare at the creamy white breasts so close to him. A small mole on her left breast caught his attention.

_She's the most beautiful woman in the world, _he thought.

"I'm going to make sure you're ok," Tsunade said. "You're going to get well, and you'll go home to your family, and the next time I see you after that I want to hear all about your missions and your girlfriend."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

He sat up in the bed. "Can I see Anko? They wouldn't let her come in before."

"I'll see what I can do," Tsunade said. "You just keep being my brave little Scary Bluebird, ok?"

"Ok," Kakashi said.

She left Kakashi thinking about her, with a lot of confused ideas and feelings.

"You seem to be perkier now," BEAR said.

"I feel better. It's just good to be off whatever they gave me. It was some bad stuff."

"I suppose having a pretty doctor doesn't hurt," BEAR said.

Kakashi grinned. "I guess not."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo barely greeted his friends in the neighborhood. He hadn't told anyone there about Kakashi, and they all asked him where he'd been.

"A friend of mine is sick," he said. "I've been helping him."

They all accepted the lie. Ume was the only one to see though it. "It's Kakashi, isn't it?" she asked.

"What makes you think that?"

"I'm a Mother, and I've known a lot of other parents in my time" she said. "I know the look of someone whose child is ill."

"Don't say anything," Sakumo said. "It's a security issue."

Sleep was a luxury he'd missed, and the pillow felt better than anything he could remember.

He woke and quickly ate something that Rie had cooked. It might have been chicken; he wasn't sure. He rubbed the dogs' heads.

"I have to go," he said. "I'm not sure if I'll be back, so don't bother saving me any dinner." _That gets me out of eating their cooking for at least one night._

"Ok," Ume said. "Make sure you take care of yourself too."

When he arrived at his room Kakashi was sitting up in bed. "Someone looks a lot more alert today," Sakumo said.

"They finally took me off the meds," Kakashi said. "I'm supposed to be chained to the bed, but Tsunade-hime won't let them do it. She broke the chains herself."

"You like Tsunade-sama, don't you?" Sakumo asked.

"She's really pretty."

"She's a little old for you, don't you think?"

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm glad you have a new friend."

"She's not afraid of me," Kakashi said. "Everyone else here is. They think I'm a monster."

"They'll learn differently," Sakumo said. "Anyone who matters knows you're just sick."

_It's so good to see him awake, _he thought. _He still looks bad, but at least he's coherent. He even seems happy, for now. I know that will probably change, but it's enough for now._

He stayed for an hour, just talking with Kakashi, and he only left when Jiraiya poked his head into the room.

"I'll let you two talk," Sakumo said.

"Come outside with me," Jiraiya said. "I want to talk to you."

_I hope he isn't going to chew me out again, _Sakumo thought.

"I need to apologize," Jiraiya said. "I was way out of line last time we talked."

"You weren't," Sakumo said. "Those were things I needed to hear. At least it came from you and not some Jounin who would have had me up on charges for questioning orders."

"It's not about that. I was stressed, and when I said that about justice I was wrong."

"You just said what you were thinking," Sakumo said. "I don't hold it against you."

"But I do hold it against me," Jiraiya said. "I told you I'd stand by you, and I will. If justice were always served than a lot of us would be punished much more than we are. Mercy is a good thing."

"Thank you," Sakumo said.

"We'll still have to get used to you being a Chunin now," Jiraiya said. "We haven't' been that different in rank for decades."

"I know how to accept orders," Sakumo said. "It doesn't bother me."

"That's good," Jiraiya said. "I'm going to talk with Kakashi for awhile. How is he doing?"

"He's awake, and he knows what's happening around him. He seems to have a crush on Tsunade."

Jiraiya chuckled. "That boy really is a Hatake. He'll have the women eating out of his hand before he's even grown."

"He's worried about people seeing him as a monster," Sakumo said. "We talked about all kinds of things, and he kept returning to guilty feelings and fear about hurting people. I think that once the novelty of them taking him off the tranqs and Tsunade cutting his chains wears off he might get depressed."

"He probably will," Jiraiya said. "We'll just have to keep an eye on it."

"I'll be in the waiting room," Sakumo said.

Tsunade stopped him in the hallway. "Well, hello handsome," she said, smiling.

"Tsunade-hemi, how are you?" Sakumo asked.

"I'm good. How are you holding up? I know this must be difficult for you."

"It's one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with," Sakumo said.

A doctor came by and glared at Sakumo.

"They just don't cut you any slack, do they?" Tsunade said.

"I don't know that I deserve any."

"Let's go somewhere where we can talk privately," Tsunade said. "There's an unused room over there."

They went in and closed the door. Tsunade sat on the bed. "Sit with me," she said.

He sat by her, and she took his hand. "I know that you're a good man. Don't let them get you down."

"I don't usually – at least not any more. It's my own fault if they hate me. I can't hate them for it."

"You're so submissive now," she said. "Where is the Sakumo that I used to know – the one that walked down the street with his head high? You were so proud."

"Maybe that was part of why I failed my mission," Sakumo said. "It's my own fault that only a few people even want to get close to me. If I have a lonely life it's one that I built for myself."

"When is the last time anyone loved you?" Tsunade asked.

"What? I have several people who love me."

"No," Tsunade said. "I can tell how alone you are. When is the last time anyone showed you any physical affection?" She put her hand on his thigh and ran it upward slowly. "We all need that, don't we?"

Before he could answer she had pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him, kissing and fondling him.

_I can't do this, _Sakumo thought, but his mouth seemed to act on its own. His tongue searched for hers, and he couldn't help but admit she was right.

_It's been so long, _he thought.

"I can't do this," he said, but he didn't stop her. He was and lonely in a way only a woman could fix.

"Is this still about Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked. "Don't worry about him,"

Sakumo pushed her off and sat up. "He loves you. You have to know that."

"This isn't about him. This is about you and me. You need this. It's just one old friend helping another."

Sakumo knew he should say no, but he didn't. He watched as she lowered her head into his lap.

_She's talented, _he thought just before he lost most of the ability to think.

"There now, don't you feel better?" she asked.

"Definitely," Sakumo said. He remembered his earlier misgivings. "Don't let Jiraiya know."

"Don't let him know what? That I comforted you when you were in pain? There's nothing wrong with that."

He stepped out into the hallway, and she followed.

"Thank you," he said.

"You can return the favor when you get over this hang-up with Jiraiya," she said.

He turned to see Jiraiya standing in the hallway. The look on his face said he knew exactly what had happened.

"Sakumo?" he asked.

He couldn't lie to his brother, but he couldn't say anything either.

Jiraiya looked at Tsunade and back at Sakumo. "She's just a teammate," he said. "Get your rocks off where you need to."

Tsunade gasped.

"It's not like that," Sakumo said. _It's not, _he thought. _It looks a lot worse than it is. _

"Take her," Jiraiya said. He looked Tsunade in the face with a cold, hard stare. "She's been clear about how she doesn't feel about me."

"Jiraiya, look…" Sakumo began.

"Don't worry about it," Jiraiya said. "I won't let a nice piece of tail come between us. We have a sick boy to take care of."

"Yeah, we do," Sakumo said.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," Tsunade said. "You're just a friend, Jiraiya, and a shitty one sometimes. We didn't have sex. I comforted him the best way I know how, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"I want to talk to my brother," Jiraiya said. "Leave us alone."

"You can't order me around in my own hospital," she said.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" Jiraiya yelled.

She left, the click of her heels echoing down the hall.

"I told her no," Sakumo said. "I know how you feel about her."

"So nothing happened?" Jiraiya asked.

_I want to tell him nothing happened so badly, _Sakumo thought.

"She didn't really take no for an answer," Sakumo said. "She jumped me, and then she blew me."

"Have you been with a woman since you came back from that mission?" Jiraiya asked.

"No," Sakumo said. "I don't really have the guts to talk to women anymore."

"And you still tried to tell her no?"

"It wasn't right," Sakumo said. "I didn't want to do that to you."

"That took a lot of loyalty," Jiraiya said. "I don't think I could have done it."

"So you're not angry about this?"

"I'm angry at her, but that's between us. If she can be something to you, then get what you need. I mean that. There are plenty of whores out there that wouldn't be able to pay for their manicures without me anyway."

"You're sure?" Sakumo asked. "I don't know that I can turn her away when she comes on to me like that, but I don't have to deal with her at all. I don't want to hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me," Jiraiya said. "She did. That's not new. It's not your problem either. Now, I'm tired of talking about this. They're running some tests on Kakashi. Let's get some barbeque and forget about women for awhile."

"Sounds good to me," Sakumo said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The council sat in an emergency meeting, and the Hokage shuffled some papers to stall for time just a bit. The atmosphere was ugly.

_It's like a storm is brewing, _the Hokage thought. _I wish Akihiro was here. _The old man was smart, subtle, and well-liked. Even the Uchihas respected him.

They worked through old business with an uncomfortable stiffness. There were times the council meetings felt like a battlefield, and this was the worst.

The Chief of Police stood as soon as it was time for new business. "I need to put forward a motion concerning Hatake Kakashi."

_Here it comes, _the Hokage thought.

The Chief took a drink of water before he continued. "He's obviously unable to handle the Sharingan. It's a security risk. The Uchihas are trained from a young age how to fight with the Sharingan, and how to protect it. He's too weak to stop himself from being taken, and we won't have our secrets revealed."

"Kakashi is just a child," the Hokage said. "His clan is strong and smart, and Kakashi can overcome any natural deficiencies."

"Spoken like a Senju," the Chief said.

"Don't start that," the Hokage said. "This isn't about that old feud. This is about the right of one of our ninjas to fight for the village the best way he knows how. Kakashi is concerned with learning how to use his gift for the good of Konoha. I've rarely seen such a loyal ninja."

"He might be loyal, but he's weak," the Chief said. "We can't get around that. He doesn't have the Uchiha body, and he won't be able to handle the Uchiha Sharingan. We want his eye removed."

Gasps and murmurs rose around the room. Yamanako Ori stood.

"I recognize Councilor Ori," the Hokage said.

"We can't allow this," she said. "If we let one clan tell another they have to give over a body part, then what comes next? The Hatake clan is small, but it's still a clan, and they have the rights of a clan. Can one clan say that someone stole their jutsus, so they want their mind? Could they take whatever they wanted because they say it's stolen?"

"That's hardly relevant," the Chief said. "This is a clear case of doing what's best for the village."

"Is it?" Ori asked, "or is it a clear case of doing what's best for the Uchiha clan? I think you're afraid that Kakashi might turn out to be a powerful ninja, and that would detract from your clan."

"That's a dangerous assumption," the Chief said.

"I have nothing more to say on the matter." Ori sat down.

The Hokage heard from the other Uchihas in the council, each getting angrier and more adamant than the last.

"I've heard you out," the Hokage said. "I have the right to veto a motion, and this one is unacceptable. I will not allow his eye to be cut out."

All of the Uchihas stood. The Chief pulled off his pin that marked him as a council member. He looked at the small gold eagle and tossed it at the Hokage's feet.

"The Uchihas will not stand for this disrespect. We withdraw from the council."

"That is your right," the Hokage said. "Please contact me privately. I hope we can work this out."

"Just like the Senjus," the Chief said. "You offer peace with one hand while you hold a knife behind your back."

"There has been enough of this," the Hokage said.

The Uchihas left the room, and the slam of the massive wooden doors behind them was like the sound of a crypt slamming shut.


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48

Kakashi sat up in bed with a yell. He reached for a kunai that wasn't there.

"Stand down, Kakashi," he heard BEAR say. He turned to see BEAR behind him, in a fighting stance and holding a needle. "I don't want to sedate you, but I will if you don't calm down. I have my orders."

"I'm fine," Kakashi said. "It was just a dream."

"There's no such thing as "just" a dream," BEAR said. "It's the spirits trying to tell you something."

_I forgot how superstitious BEAR is, _Kakashi thought.

"It was just something that happened in the past," Kakashi said. "It doesn't mean anything."

"Was it about a mission?" BEAR asked.

"How did you know?"

"I have them," BEAR said. "We all have them. It's part of being a ninja. How many missions have you had now?"

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "A lot."

"Can you tell me about these dreams?"

"Why?"

"In my clan I'm a spirit healer," BEAR said. "I might be able to help with this."

"You're an ANBU healer?" Kakashi asked. "Isn't that some sort of contradiction?"

"Of course it is," BEAR said. "We're all contradictions. I'm a strong fighter, and the Hokage knows I'm absolutely loyal. When he asked me to serve I said yes. I'll do it for some time – until it's time to stop – and then I'll go back to my clan and become a spirit healer again."

"So you think the dreams are important?" Kakashi asked.

"They might be," BEAR said. "Is it a recurring dream?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. "I'm ashamed of it."

"We can't control what visions come to us at night," BEAR said. "Even if they're ugly they can be used to learn from. You can talk to me. It's part of my vows to keep confidences."

"I have it a few times a year," Kakashi said. "There's a little girl. I can't see her face very well. She's mostly in the shadows. I'm afraid of her."

"Why are you afraid of her?"

"I feel like she has a weapon. She holds out a stuffed bear, and she asks me, "do you want to be my friend?"

Kakashi stopped, remembering the dream. He knew what it was about. _I'll never be able to forget that little girl, _he thought.

"And then what?" BEAR asked.

"And then I kill her," Kakashi said. "Three or four times a year."

"Dark omens," BEAR said. "What does the bear mean to you? How is it relevant?"

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "It's just a dream. I never thought it might mean anything."

"Children are very fond of their toys," BEAR said. "They don't just give them to anyone, do they?"

"I guess not."

"So she was offering you something important to her?"

"Yes. It looked just like a bear I had when I was little. I liked it a lot."

"Why did you see it as a weapon?" BEAR asked.

"How could a toy be a weapon?"

"Not the toy, Kakashi – what it symbolizes. She offered it to you – or pointed it at you – right after you felt that she had a weapon. Then she asked you if you wanted to be her friend. Do you see the connection?"

"She reminds me of someone I killed on a mission," Kakashi said. "I never talked about it with anyone but my father."

"Did you feel compassion for her?" BEAR asked.

"Of course I did. I didn't want to do it," Kakashi said. "I wanted to wake her and tell her to run, but she would have been killed anyway. The way I did it she never even knew it was coming."

"And in your dream she offered you friendship before she killed you?"

"I killed her," Kakashi said.

"Did you? In recurring dreams we are everyone we see. You were not only killing her; you were killed by her."

"Why?" Kakashi asked.

"Because you're seeing two sides of yourself. You see the killer – that part you know well. You're also seeing a child that is innocent and vulnerable, and that part frightens you."

"That's a lot to decide from a dream, isn't it?" Kakashi asked.

"I've heard many dreams, and I've worked with you. I saw you kill almost a whole squad once, but I've also seen you try not to be a child. I've never seen you play, or cry, or be petulant. You work hard to keep us from seeing you as a child, don't you?"

"I have to," Kakashi said. "I'm a Jounin. I'm partly responsible for keeping the village safe."

"Only partly responsible," BEAR said. "Sometimes you speak like you carry the whole burden. ANBU, the Jounins, and even the Chunins and Genins all form part of the net that protects the village. You are only a string in that net."

_What he's saying is weird, but it feels right, _Kakashi thought.

"The innocent, vulnerable part of you needs to come out. You can kill it, and be simply a killer, or you can accept that toy and the symbolic friendship. You have to be both."

"And what happens then?"

"Then you move forward. I don't know what that means for you – no one does."

"But it's a _dream,_" Kakashi said. "How do I control it?"

"I have some incense that can give you the ability to make the outcome what you want it to be. If you want we can try it. You can try something besides killing her. Accept the bear; accept the right to be a child. See what happens."

"I'll try it," Kakashi said.

"There's another thing," BEAR said. "I didn't bring it up yet because it's more obvious. You said this girl was someone you killed?"

"I had to."

"You have to deal with that guilt, not just about her but about all the times you've had to do things on missions that you felt were wrong. She symbolizes your own inability to match your compassion with your duty. All good men have that problem at times. We all have to solve it in our own way."

"I've never forgotten her," Kakashi said. "I think about her sometimes. I wonder if there was any other way to do it, something I could have done to save her."

"There was," BEAR said. "You could have abandoned your mission and betrayed the village. You made a choice that day. You might regret it, but it's the path you chose. You chose that day to be a ninja of Konoha. There will be other times when you have to choose again, and again, for the rest of your life. You're strong. You'll have difficult missions that make you question your humanity. But you know that, don't you?"

"It's part of who we are," Kakashi said. "We can't question the morality of our orders."

"You also have to forgive yourself," BEAR said. "She symbolizes your guilt."

"I don't think I can do that," Kakashi said.

BEAR shrugged. "It's your path. No one can tell you how to walk it. Some people run – some limp. None of us walk our path without falling at times."

"I think I fall a lot," Kakashi said.

"You're young. You'll learn to walk the spirit path as you grow older. You're farther along it than you should be."

"And you got all that from a dream?" Kakashi asked.

"No. I never talk about dreams with someone I don't know. The symbols are personal. To another person a child might mean longing, fear of aging, even a fear of giving birth. I think I know what it might mean for you because I've worked with you. I've seen how hard you work out there, and I knew you had something dark driving you."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I doubt many people see it. To most of the village you just look like a strong ninja on the rise. They see the Jounin – never the child. I saw both when we were out there. Every time you took a wound that should have stopped you, but you kept on fighting, I saw a boy struggling to be a man."

"I have to do it," Kakashi said.

"It's your path. You have to walk it alone, but it will intersect with other paths. It's intersecting with mine now, but you will walk alone at times. Take advantage of the times when your path intersects with others'."

"Can you speak plainly?" Kakashi asked. "This mysticism confuses me."

"I can't speak any more plainly. I think in pictures and feelings; you think in words and numbers. Words and numbers won't tell you much about the spirit."

"So are you saying I can't understand all this? What's the point of telling me then?"

"Because you're smart. This doesn't make sense now, but it might later."

"Thank you for trying, anyway," Kakashi said.

BEAR chuckled. "You've done better than you think. I'll bring my incense on my next shift. We'll see what we can learn."

"You should know that a lot of the ANBU like you," BEAR said. "You represent what we like best about ANBU. Have you ever noticed that no one talks to CROW much?"

"I just figured he doesn't like to talk," Kakashi said.

"I don't think he does," BEAR said, "but that's not why we avoid him. CROW is walking a dark path, and we see it. Even if we don't know what we're looking at, we see it, and no one can help him. He won't let anyone help him. You represent hope for the future for us. We all have to match the good with the bad, and we see your struggles."

"All the ANBU know?"

"We know that you work hard to be honorable, and that is a hard path to follow for any ninja. CROW is who we are. He is the dark thing that we become when we fall. You should know that we respect you for the fight we see in you. You can turn to any of us when you need us; we won't think less of you."

"It's not easy for me to do," Kakashi said.

"But I want you to know you have the option," BEAR said. "Keep fighting, but don't forget that you have comrades."

They heard a knock at the door, and Jiraiya poked his head in. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Kakashi said.

"I'll leave you two alone," BEAR said.

"Thanks BEAR," Kakashi said.

"Well hello. You look all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed," Jiraiya said.

"I feel better. They really could let me out now."

"That's not going to happen," Jiraiya said. "It took a lot just to get them to let you stay out of the restraints. I know it's hard, but be patient."

"I can't just sit here for a week and a half," Kakashi said. "Can you bring me my textbooks or something?"

"I'll ask the doctor," Jiraiya said. "I thought you might be a little stir crazy, so I brought a treat today."

He pulled out a familiar orange book.

"You're going to let me read it?" Kakashi asked.

"No, but I'll read it to you. I can leave out the adult parts. I think you'll like the story."

Jiraiya read to him, and occasionally he'd skip a few pages and say, "and they kissed a lot, and he made her really happy." Once he'd flipped through an entire chapter. "Let's just say that he didn't know that it was a man in disguise, but he found out and he's really mad."

He read for a couple hours until a nurse arrived with lunch. When she came in the room, Jiraiya saw the tray shaking in her hands. The look of fear on her face told Jiraiya that she had been listening to the rumors about Kakashi.

"I'll take that," Jiraiya said. The nurse gave him the tray and hurried out.

"How long do you think they'll be afraid of me?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know. That Uchiha nurse had caused a lot of problems. She's going to be punished for the rumors she's spread, but the damage is done. You don't have to worry about it though. They're just civilians. They fear what they don't understand."

Kakashi took a few bites of the bland food.

"Eat it all," Jiraiya said.

"I'm not hungry," Kakashi said.

"Well, eat some anyway. I want to make sure you take care of yourself. You're looking too thin."

Kakashi ate, picking at the food. "Is hospital food always this bad?"

"It gets worse every time," Jiraiya said. "Try not to end up in here so much. You'll lose your taste buds completely."

"I'm going to go now, but I'll be back later. The mission director is going to let me stay in town. I'm not needed anytime soon."

"Thanks Oji-Jiraiya. Can you read to me later?"

"Of course."

BEAR was outside, waiting. "How's it going?" Jiraiya asked.

"We've been talking," BEAR said.

"More of that mystical stuff?" Jiraiya asked.

"That "mystical stuff" helps a lot of people. I could do a session with you sometime if you want. You have an interesting path to walk down."

"I might take you up on that someday," Jiraiya said. "I'd like to know how many women are on it." He grinned.

BEAR laughed. "Don't we all?"

BEAR stepped back into the room, and Jiraiya saw him take his position behind Kakashi. _The ANBU and the healer, _Jiraiya thought. _That's fucked up, but he's alright._

Jiraiya's smile faded when he saw Tsunade approaching. "Good morning," she said.

"Your voice sounds a little raspy," Jiraiya said. "Did you hurt your throat yesterday? I hope you told Sakumo to get a penicillin shot."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "You're about 12 in your head, aren't you? Why are you acting like this? You do this every time I get with someone."

"You know why," Jiraiya said. "I love you."

"I know," Tsunade said. "I'm not ready for that. If we were together you'd want more than I can give you. Sakumo just needs a woman to be with. I'm fine with that. I just want a man, and I enjoy being with him. He's a dick to me, and I'm a vagina to him."

"Can you look me in the eyes and tell me it's just sexual with him?" Jiraiya asked.

Tsunade stood close to Jiraiya and stared into his eyes. "It's just sexual. Neither of us wants anything else. It's not any more than what you have with all the little trollops you run around town with."

"And what do we have?" Jiraiya asked. "I want to know. Sometimes you act like this, and sometimes you seem to want me. I want to know where I stand."

"The others are just a good time," Tsunade said. "Sakumo and I will get tired of each other. You'll see. We'll still be friends, but things like this fade. That's just the way things are. You're my friend, and that means more to me than some sex."

"So you won't be with me because I mean too much to you?" Jiraiya asked.

"Baka," she said. "How could you not know that? I'm going to check on Kakashi now, but I get off at about eight. You want to get some dinner? As friends," she said. "Just friends."

"One more thing," she said. She punched him hard in the stomach, and he fell to the ground. "That was for the penicillin remark. I'll see you tonight."

She walked away, leaving Jiraiya confused – as always. He sorted through their conversation in his head. _I still have a chance, _he thought. _I'll win her over in the end._


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49

Akihiro stretched his leg carefully, with the physical therapist watching. "It seems to move more than it was," he said.

"We've come a long way since you were in here before," the therapist said.

"I need to get out as soon as I can," Akihiro said. "My son is sick, and he needs me. My wife needs me."

"We'll see," the therapist said. "You might be able to get in a wheelchair in a couple days, as long as it's one with good leg support. You need to take extra care of that leg for awhile."

"Can we do it sooner?"

"Don't be in such a hurry," the therapist said. "You're healing quickly as it is. It was mostly charka exhaustion in the muscles. The actual damage isn't bad. You'll probably have more problems with arthritis. If you use that jutsu like that again you'll make the arthritis worse. The chakra exhaustion will be worse next time too."

Akihiro waited until the doctor left and then tried flexing the knee himself. He moved carefully, swinging his leg around, and he tried to lower it to the floor.

_That's not going to work, _he thought. He used the bedside table to lift himself on a shaking arm and stood unsteadily for a minute on his good leg, seeing how much pressure he could put on the bad leg. _If I make sure that I don't lean too much on the bad leg I can pull this off._

He looked back at the bed, trying to figure out the angles needed to sit. _I can do this. I have to – for Kakashi, for Mother and Ibiki. I can't be in bed when my family needs me._

Mother came in the door. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Getting out of this room," Akihiro said.

Mother took his arm and helped him onto the bed. She lifted his leg, being careful to keep it at the right angle. "We've been through this before. We can do it again."

"The last time my son wasn't tied up in a padded cell," Akihiro said. "I have to go to him."

"I told him you hurt your leg," she said. "He understands. He actually asked me if he hurt you." She laughed. "Can you believe that?"

Akihiro chuckled. "That will be the day, won't it? He's a tough little kid, but not that tough."

"I'll let him know you want to see him. He understands. He was more worried about you being mad at him than anything."

"Why would I be mad at him?"

"I don't know. He has it in his mind that this is his fault."

"He seems to think everything is his fault," Akihiro said.

"Do you remember when he moved in with us? He seemed like such a strong little boy."

"He was a strong boy," Akihiro said.

"It's hard to believe that he's the same person," Mother said. "He's a shadow now."

"It won't last forever," Akihiro said. "He'll be strong again. He's a fighter, and he has people to fight beside him. Give him my love."

A nurse showed Mother to Kakashi's room. "There's an ANBU with him," the nurse said. "You'll be safe."

"I'm his Mother," she snapped. "I'm not afraid of my own son."

She knocked quietly, just in case he was sleeping. An ANBU opened the door. _He's a big one, _she thought, looking up at the towering man.

"He's sleeping," BEAR whispered. "Do you want to come in?"

She nodded, and they went inside. She could just see him in the dim light, sleeping quietly.

BEAR returned to his position behind Kakashi, and Mother moved closer so she could see the child.

_I wish I could see him better, _she thought, _but I'll just have to wait._

She sat by the bed and settled in for a long wait. She had to keep her hand from reaching out to stroke the dirty hair.

_I'll have to find a way to get some shampoo in here, _she thought. _That soap didn't help much. He's a vain little thing, too. He'll feel better if he's clean._

She looked at his small frame, dwarfed in the adult bed. _He doesn't deserve this, _she thought. _He's so young. _

Eventually Kakashi stirred, and she reached out and touched his arm gently.

"Mother?" he asked. "How long have you been here?"

"A while," she said. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"Is Akihiro ok?"

"You two worry about each other enough for all of us," Mother said. "He's getting better. He wants to come see you, but he can't just yet. He told me to send you his love."

"Tell him I love him," Kakashi said. "Tell him when we go home I want to talk on the porch again."

"I will," she said. "I can promise you he knows, but I'll make sure and tell him. Ibiki wants you to come home too. I'm going to get some shampoo. You're looking a little scroungy there."

"There's soap in the bathroom, but it would be nice to get my hair clean. I don't mind on missions, but it's bugging me now."

"You could use a haircut too," Mother said. She looked at BEAR. "Can I bring some scissors next time I come?"

"We'd have to restrain him."

"The haircut can wait then," she said. "Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"My textbooks? I'm going to be really bored."

"I'll find something that will keep you occupied. Obey the doctors and don't give the nurses a hard time," she said, smiling.

"Did you hear something?" Kakashi asked. "Did they say I'm scaring them again? I'm not trying to."

"I was just joking," Mother said.

"You know they're afraid of me, right? They think I'm a monster. I hate that they think that way about me. They're afraid to even bring my food."

"Then they're a bunch of fools," Mother said. "I know better." She pinched his cheek. "You're just my little boy, and you'll always be that to me."

Kakashi rubbed his cheek and glanced at BEAR. "Mother, you're embarrassing me," he whispered.

"I'll stop," she said. "But I mean it. You really are special to me. Don't you ever forget it."

She left Kakashi feeling better – lighter somehow.

"Your Mother loves you a lot," BEAR said. "I like her. I can tell she has a strong spirit."

He pulled out a small box. "I brought the incense, if you want to try it."

"I'm game," Kakashi said. "I want to know what I'm supposed to do."

"I can't tell you that," BEAR said. "I can help you find out things about yourself, but it's up to you to decide how to use that information."

"Let's try it," Kakashi said. "I have a lot of free time lately."

"Sit on the floor with me," BEAR said. He pulled out a small incense burner. "There's more than just incense involved in this." He handed Kakashi a small, black wafer. "That's a hallucinogen. It works with the incense and my guidance. You might see some disturbing or frightening things. If you do, listen to me and try to remember that you're seeing visions."

He turned the lights off and sat cross-legged with Kakashi. He set an incense burner between them and lit the stick. He waved the smoke toward Kakashi. "Inhale," he said.

Kakashi breather in the earthy, strong smell.

BEAR handed him the wafer. "It's bitter, but eat it all."

Kakashi ate it quickly, choking down the bitterness and smacking his lips. "That's foul."

"Close your eyes and remember the dream," BEAR said.

"I remember," Kakashi said.

"Open your eyes. What do you see?"

"I see you, and the girl is next to you."

The girl held the bear toward him. "She's holding out the bear."

"Take it," BEAR said. "Accept that part of yourself and see what happens."

She was young and innocent. She held the bear out. "It's a weapon," Kakashi said. "Something bad will happen."

"I'm here," BEAR said. "You're just seeing a vision. Take the BEAR."

Kakashi reached tentatively for the toy, but he pulled his hand back. "I don't want to," he said.

"Why?" BEAR asked. "What do you think will happen if you give in to that part of you?"

"I'll be soft," Kakashi said. "I'll die like she did."

"You won't die," BEAR said. "I'm here."

Kakashi reached out and took the bear from the girl. She vanished, and he sat holding the bear.

"What memories come to you now?" BEAR asked.

"My father gave this to me after he came back from a long mission," Kakashi said. "I remember, because for some reason I decided he was dead. I don't remember why. He gave it to me when he came back, and every time I looked at it I remembered that he would come home safe."

"I lost it when I moved out of our house," Kakashi said.

"You miss your father?" BEAR asked.

"A lot," Kakashi said. "I have a new family, but I miss him."

Kakashi looked at the bear in his hands, and he held it to his chest. He sat it on his knees and looked at it, noticing that it still had they missing eye on the left, and that one of its arms had stuffing coming out.

He pulled a bit of cloth off of his hospital gown and made a hitai-ate of sorts for the bear. He laughed as he put it on. "It looks just like me now," he said.

He forgot BEAR, and his problems, and the sadness. _I forgot how much I liked this thing, _he thought. He noticed something sitting beside him. It was the odd toy the Hokage had left with him.

He picked up the yo-yo and spun it like he'd seen Ibiki do, and he just enjoyed watching it. He manipulated it, making it do tricks, and he felt something he barely remembered – a forgetful kind of joy. It was as if none of his responsibilities mattered now.

The toy and the bear faded.

"You looked very happy just then," BEAR said. "What happened?"

"Nothing bad," Kakashi said. "It was just nice."

"What was it like to be a child?" BEAR asked.

"I felt safe. I didn't have to fix things, or change things, or be in charge. It was nice."

"That's a good start," BEAR said. "There might be more to the vision. We should wait. Close your eyes and just meditate."

Kakashi did as he was told. "Breathe deep," BEAR said. "Open your eyes and tell me what you see."

Kakashi saw two versions of BEAR in front of him. One was the BEAR he was used to seeing, and the other looked almost like BEAR, but Kakashi could see through him just a bit.

"I see you," Kakashi said.

"I mean besides me," BEAR said. "What else do you see?"

"There are two of you," Kakashi said.

"What do I symbolize to you?"

"A comrade," Kakashi said. "I know that you're protecting me. I feel safe with you."

The BEAR that Kakashi could see though stood and moved away from the other one. Kakashi had to turn his back on the BEAR that he knew to look at the one moving behind him.

"Why are you turning?" BEAR asked. "What do you see? You're moving. Why are you turning around?"

"I need to watch this other one," Kakashi said. "I'm not sure which one is you anymore."

Kakashi saw BEAR pull off his mask.

"No," he said. "Oh god no."

"What is it?" Bear asked.

"NO!" Kakashi screamed. He clawed at the patch over his eye to free his Sharingan, and he scooted backwards on the floor, toward the real BEAR and away from the imaginary one.

BEAR stopped him from ripping at his eye. "What's wrong?" he asked. "What do you see?"

Kakashi fought him, but he was no match for BEAR at the moment. "Get off me!" he yelled. "I know they sent you to kill me!"

"Who are you talking about?" BEAR asked. "Stop fighting me. You're seeing some dark omen, but I'm here to help you."

Kakashi couldn't believe what he was seeing. The two versions of BEAR stood next to each other, but the one who had removed his mask was smiling. Kakashi looked at two bright Sharingans and a man that he knew wanted to kill him.

The BEAR that still wore his mask struggled with Kakashi, holding his hands so he couldn't pull the leather patch off his Sharingan. He kicked at him, hitting him in the side.

BEAR held tight to Kakashi, and he pushed him to the ground. "Stop fighting me," he said. "You'll just hurt yourself. Remember what I said. I'm here to help you."

The BEAR who had revealed himself pulled out a kunai and leaned toward Kakashi. "I'm going to kill you slowly," he said.

"No," Kakashi said. "It's not my fault. I didn't even want this eye. You're my friend. Don't do this."

The real BEAR had no idea what has happening. "I am your friend. Let yourself trust me."

"I know what you are!" Kakashi yelled.

"This omen is too dark for you to handle right now," BEAR said. "I'm ending this."

He pushed a small piece of herb into Kakashi's mouth. "Eat it," he said.

He held Kakashi until the herb kicked in, waiting until he stopped yelling and kicking.

"Are you calm?" BEAR asked.

"Take off your mask," Kakashi said.

"I can't," BEAR said. "My clan doesn't believe in ANBU. No one but the Hokage knows who I am. I'll be ostracized."

"I know what you are," Kakashi said.

"I'm doing this for you," BEAR said. "Never tell anyone what you'll see."

He pulled off his mask, and Kakashi saw violet eyes. An odd mark on his forehead caught his attention.

"You're a Hyuuga?" Kakashi said.

BEAR put the mask back on. "Are you better now?"

"Yes," Kakashi said. He lay on the floor, panting.

"What did you see?" BEAR asked.

"You took off your mask and you were an Uchiha. I saw it."

"You must be really scared of the Uchihas," BEAR said.

"You have no idea. They all want to kill me."

"And you said I symbolize someone you trust," BEAR said. "It sounds like you just don't feel safe. Are you afraid the people you trust will turn on you?"

"No, but I'm afraid that the Uchihas will show up again, and the people I trust won't be able to stop them. They'll find me, and when they do, they'll kill me. I can't fight them all."

"You've seen my face," BEAR said. "You know that I'm not an Uchiha. I'm your comrade."

"I know," Kakashi said. He tried to sit up, but he felt weak, and he lay back down.

"I don't feel good," he said.

"The drug can do that," BEAR said. He picked Kakashi up and laid him on the bed. "Do you feel nauseous?"

"No, just weak," Kakashi said. His eyes closed.

"Don't go to sleep just yet," BEAR said. "I need to know that you came out of the vision ok. Do you know who I am?"

"BEAR," Kakashi said. "Not an Uchiha. I know."

"You can sleep now," BEAR said. "We'll talk about you visions when you wake up. You're safe. I'm here to protect you."

Kakashi drifted off, but he woke a bit. "BEAR, can I have my yo-yo back?" he mumbled.

"I'll get it for you," BEAR said. He held a strong-smelling herb under Kakashi's nose. "Sleep now."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50

Nabu was sitting outside Sakumo's house when he came home in the morning.

"Where have you been?" Nabu asked. "You said you were going to teach me yesterday."

"Someone I care about was in the hospital," Sakumo said. "He almost died. I haven't forgotten my promise. I'll teach you today, but I was in the hospital all night. Let me get some sleep and come back this afternoon."

"But you'll teach me then, for sure?" Nabu asked.

Sakumo looked at the boy. _He's so eager, _he thought. _I hope he'll make it._

Ume or Rie had left a cold plate for him in the fridge. Fortunately it was a sandwich and some almonds, and not something that either of them had cooked.

The dogs were on Sakumo's bed. "Shove over," Sakumo said.

They moved to one side, making room for him. "It's an odd time to sleep," Tadao said.

"I was at the hospital all night, in case Kakashi needed me. I have to get some rest. I need to take a couple missions soon too, or we won't have food for much longer."

"Can I go this time?" Tadao asked. "Mitsuko said she's ok as long as one of the sisters is here.

"I'd like that," Sakumo said. "There won't be much to the mission, but it will be nice to have you along."

_I wish I could quit thinking and just sleep, _Sakumo thought, but he knew by now it wasn't going to happen.

He remembered Nabu's first lesson. He'd tried desperately, and he had moderate talent. It hurt to think about Nabu's training; Kakashi kept coming to mind. His movements were fluid and graceful. Chakra use had come as naturally to him as walking. It was like watching a dance.

Nabu was clumsy by comparison.

_I don't know what I expected, _Sakumo thought. _No one can replace Kakashi. I'll help Nabu, but teaching him will always feel empty._

He remembered Kakashi in the hospital – tiny and vulnerable. _I miss him so much._

He fell asleep thinking about Kakashi and Nabu, and when he woke he felt the emptiness that came to him occasionally. The sisters chattered to each other, but he didn't pay attention. When Mitsuko said something to him he grunted in reply.

She stuck a cold nose in his hand. "Sakumo-kun? What's wrong?"

"Nothing new," he said. "I just miss Kakashi. It just gets to me sometimes."

"Bring him here," Mitsuko said. "Let him be a part of our family."

"I can't," Sakumo said. "I want to, but I can't. He has to stay with the Morinos. They give him stability. He has a mother and a brother now." He thought of Akihiro. "And even though it hurts me to say it, he has a new father in his life."

"I don't think he'll ever see anyone else as his father," Tadao said.

"It's ok," Sakumo said. "I love him, and sometimes loving someone means letting them move on. I'll be there for whatever he needs me to be, but it won't be what Akihiro can be to him."

He felt free, as if he'd dropped a heavy weight. "It's ok," he said. "I'm ok. I don't know what I'll be to him, but he'll be ok."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko lifted a special snake onto her arm. It was a Tkachiho-Hebi. "I wonder why they call you an odd-scaled snake."

The snake curled around her arm. She had spent so much time with it that its eyes glowed blue with chakra use.

She watched it curl and twist. "I'm sorry I haven't been spending much time with you guys lately," she said. "Something happened…"

_Did we fight the last time I saw him? _She wondered. _I can't remember. I hope not._

"Do you remember Kakashi?" Anko asked. "You met him once."

The snake lifted his head and flicked a tongue at her.

"You know I'm sad, don't you?" Anko asked. She put a finger under the snakes head and lifted it.

"When he comes back I want you to show him the tricks I taught you. I'm sure it will be soon."

_How much of what I'm saying does he understand? _She wondered. _Eventually his grandchildren or great-grandchildren will probably be able to talk to me._

"They won't let me see him," she said. "I hope he's not in pain."

The snake lifted his head off her arm and stretched toward her face.

"I think you might understand me just a little bit," Anko said. She stuck her tongue out at him, and she remembered how Kakashi had told her she was cute when she did that.

"You guys are my best friends," she said. "I know he'll love your new tricks."

She put the snake back in its cage. "I'm going to try the hospital again. I'll come home tonight. Tomorrow is feeding day. Keep practicing your tricks."

Sakumo was in the waiting room with Gai.

"Hey Gai," Anko said. "Did they let you see him?"

"My parents said no. They don't like Kakashi. I'll stay here until I can see him. I haven't forgotten what we promised each other when Ibiki came back. We're all in this together."

Anko approached the nurse on duty, even though she knew what she would say.

"You said when he was in another room I could see him," Anko said.

"Adults only," the nurse said, not even bothering to look up from her paperwork. "Bring one of your parents with you, and I'll let you in."

Anko stomped back to Sakumo and Gai and sat with them.

"He's doing better," Sakumo said. "He's sleeping now, but I'm going to see him later. I was just talking to Gai. How are you doing, Anko?"

"I want to see him. They shouldn't keep me out. I know he wants to see me."

"He does," Sakumo said. "He misses you too. You'll just have to be patient."

Anko crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair. "I hate being patient."

"Don't pout," Sakumo said. "Did you ask your parents?"

"Dad said no. I know better than to ask Mom."

"Why?" Gai asked. "What would happen?"

"It's not important," Anko said. "I'm going to try it again. Maybe if I do it enough Dad will come here with me just to shut me up."

She left with a new plan. As soon as she'd gone she ducked into a bathroom, waited a few minutes, and came back out in a henge of her mother.

_This should work, _she thought. _That nurse isn't a ninja, so she shouldn't be able to tell what I'm doing._

Anko passed Sakumo and Gai without even looking at them, and they didn't seem to give her any notice.

"I understand you need parental permission for Mitarashi Anko to visit Hatake Kakashi?" Anko asked. She did her best to have her mother's imposing stare. _Please let this work, _she thought.

"I assume you're her mother?"

"I am. I'm giving permission. The poor dear has been worried sick about him."

"Is that so?" the nurse asked. "Where is she then?"

"I told her to get some food. She hasn't been eating. I'll send her back later."

"Mrs. Mitarashi – if that is who you are – we know that Anko is a ninja, and you might just be using a jutsu. We'll need to see both of you at the same time to let her in."

Anko tried to bully herself past the nurse, but it didn't work. "I've dealt with more difficult people than you – ma'am or Anko. The rules here are going to be followed."

Anko went back to the bathroom and changed to her real form. _I guess I'll have to settle for sitting with Gai and Kakashi's father._

"I thought you were leaving?" Gai asked when she sat heavily on the seat next to him.

"I tried to use a henge of my mother to get in. The nurse caught me. She told me that I have to come in with a parent, or they won't let me in. I don't know how to cast a henge on a clone, or I'd just do that."

"Anko, come with me," Sakumo said. "We need to talk about something privately."

He took her back to the alcove with the vending machine. People passed occasionally, but it was as close to private as they were likely to find in the hospital without resorting to hiding in rooms.

"Did you really do what you told Gai about the henge?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "I really want to see him."

"Show me a henge of your father," Sakumo said. He saw Anko assume the form of a short, middle-aged man with salt-and-pepper hair.

Sakumo assumed a similar henge. "Is this right?"

Anko turned away from him. "I don't want to look at him. Stop that."

Sakumo dropped the henge. "It bothers you to see him?"

"Yes," Anko said. "I hate him. I hate him so much."

Sakumo knelt. "I'm sorry, Anko. Do you want a hug? I know I asked before, but it's still available."

"No," Anko said. "I want to see Kakashi."

"They change shifts in less than an hour," Sakumo said. "Come back to the waiting room then and we'll try again. I'll assume that henge and talk to her."

"That's really against the rules," Anko said.

"From what Kakashi has told me, you like breaking rules."

"Well, yeah," Anko said, "but you're an adult."

"I've been punished harshly for breaking a rule already," Sakumo said. "I still believe that there are some things more important than even the most logical rules, and helping a sad little girl is one of those things."

Anko's face lit up with a smile. "Thank you, Sakumo-san! I'm going to go get some things to bring for him."

"You might find it disturbing," Sakumo said. "He's lost weight, and he's in a room that looks more like a detention cell than a hospital room. There's an ANBU guarding him too."

"I don't care," Anko said.

She rushed out and ran home to look for anything Kakashi might like.

Tsunade was talking with Gai when Sakumo returned. "Well hello," she said. "Kakashi sure does have some good friends. Are you two making sure you eat and get some rest?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gai and Anko both said in unison.

"Good. What about you?" she asked Sakumo.

"I'm fine," he said.

"That's not really an answer," Tsunade said.

"I'll get more sleep when he's well. You can't expect a father to rest well when his son is hurting."

"No, but it's been my experience that sometimes the ones who support the ill need some release as well. Kakashi has an ANBU with him, and he seems to be on good terms with them. As his doctor I want you to rest. You can help him more if you're in good condition, and he's going to be in here for a while more. You need to ration your energy."

Sakumo smiled. "That's a difficult prescription to fill."

"I'll help you fill it later," she said.

He knew what she meant. "I can't, not with Kakashi like this."

"He's fine," Tsunade said. "The only reason he's even in the hospital any more is because we want to keep him here until we know the medication has taken effect. He's almost chipper."

"You're right," Sakumo said. "He was doing well the last time I saw him. I could use a break."

"I get off my shift in a few hours," she said. "I'll meet you here then. I have to go now; I'm still working."

Sakumo watched her walk away. _That's one hell of an ass, _he thought. _If I play my cards right I might just get to tap it later._

It was easy enough to get Anko in to see Kakashi. He was sitting on the bed with CAT, playing cards.

_CAT isn't afraid of him, _Sakumo thought. _I'm glad to see that._

"Kakashi!" Anko yelled. She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and knocking the cards out of his hands. The cards flew all over the room.

"I was so worried about you," she said.

"I'm just stuck here until they figure out that I'm fine," Kakashi said. "At this point it's a lot of fuss about nothing."

Kakashi looked at Sakumo. "Who did you bring with you?"

"This is my father," Anko said.

"Your father?" Kakashi asked.

"Can we talk to him alone?" Sakumo asked CAT.

"No can do," CAT said. "I'm under strict orders to stay with him for anyone less than Jounin rank."

Sakumo and Anko traded a look.

"Dad had to come with me so I could see you," Anko said. "Wasn't it nice of him?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. He squinted at Sakumo. "It was."

_He doesn't sound convinced._

Kakashi and Anko chatted, but Sakumo saw Kakashi glancing at him occasionally. It was a hostile look, too.

They talked about strategy and training. _Kids should talk about other things, _Sakumo thought. He kept quiet, not wanting to bother the kids.

_Kakashi knows it's not right, _Sakumo thought.

After an hour he told Anko it was time to go.

"Do I have to?" she whined.

"Yes," Sakumo said. "We don't want to overstay our welcome. Give him what you brought and let's go."

Anko pulled some books from a bag. "I went by your house, and Ibiki gave me a few of yours. I found this there," she said, handing him his yo-yo. "It's that weird toy the Hokage gave us. I thought you might want it."

"I don't want to get behind on my reading," Kakashi said. "Just because the academy closed because of the war is no excuse to stop studying." He flicked the yo-yo. "I'll see what I can do with this."

_That's my boy, _Sakumo thought proudly. _He's always moving forward._

Sakumo waited until they were alone outside and whispered, "don't tell anyone about this – not even Jiraiya."

"But he's Kakashi's uncle."

"Yes, and he even outranks Jounins. I can't take the chance that he'll get responsible all of a sudden. He does that sometimes. You might not get to come back."

They stopped by the nurses' station. "It didn't seem to bother her to visit Kakashi," he told the nurse. "I really don't want to have to come down here every time she wants to visit. Can she come alone now?"

"I don't see why not," the nurse said.

Sakumo saw the broad smile on Anko's face. She took Sakumo's hand as they walked away, and she beamed at him. He dropped the henge as soon as he could; he knew she didn't like to see her father's face.

"I'm glad you're happy," Sakumo said.

"I wish you really were my Dad," Anko said.

"I know you don't like your father much, but he is your father," Sakumo said.

"No he's not," Anko said. "He got rid of me because of Orochimaru."

"That's why you live alone, isn't it?" Sakumo said.

"Yes. Sakumo-san, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Can I call you father?" she asked. "You're the closest thing I have to one."

"If you want," Sakumo said. "You're becoming like a daughter to me. I'm glad Kakashi likes you."

_She trusts me,_ he thought. _After everything she's gone through she trusts me._

"Are you sure you don't want a hug?" he asked. "Most children find them comforting."

He saw more than just the smile leave Anko's face. She looked guarded again – almost hostile.

"No," she said. "Hugs are bad."

"Anko, did someone hurt you?"

"Orochimaru used to hug me. The last time he did it he bit me on the neck." She rubbed the mark. "He cursed me forever."

_She doesn't seem to mind them from Kakashi, _Sakumo thought, _but I guess that's to be expected._


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51

Sakumo sat in the waiting room with Gai.

"Kakashi isn't going to be out for more than a week," Sakumo said. "You can't sit here every day."

"I can, and I will. I'm glad we finished my mission early so I could be here when he needs me. I don't want him to think I don't care."

"He knows you care," Sakumo said.

"It's just something I have to do," Gai said. "I can't let my rival get behind on his training. I need to remind him that our rivalry is still waiting when he gets out."

Sakumo smiled. "You two really do sharpen each other. I'm glad he has you for a friend."

He managed to talk Gai into leaving at 10. "That way you can get enough sleep to come back tomorrow. You won't be much of a rival if you're too worn out to fight him."

Tsunade showed up about that time, looking tired and beautiful. "I could really use a drink," she said. "I'd settle for just getting off my feet. You want to walk me home, handsome?"

_She has all the subtlety of a kunai to the gut, _he thought. There was a time when that would have repulsed him, but now he didn't mind so much. _Things have changed._

It was an awkward walk to her place. _I don't even know her that well, _he thought.

Tsunade rattled on about work, ninjas, all sorts of things. Sakumo was barely listening. _It's been a long time, _he thought. _I can't believe I'm actually nervous about this._

He remembered the way women used to throw themselves at him. It wasn't like that with Tsunade. She was taking him, and he liked it.

When they reached her house she threw a sly look at Sakumo and smirked as she unlocked the door.

"I have some lovely sake I was saving for a special occasion," she said.

She poured the sake in delicate porcelain cups and sat on the couch with her long legs crossed under her. Sakumo couldn't help but admire her long, well-toned legs.

Tsunade lit a few candles and clapped her hands. The lights lowered, and she clicked a remote – turning on a slow jazz track from somewhere in the room.

_She planned this out, _Sakumo thought.

Tsunade tossed her sake back in one quick gulp. He followed suit. "It's good," he said.

She poured more for him. "You know what they say about women and sake don't you?" she asked with a smirk.

He hadn't even noticed that he'd finished his sake before she poured him another one. "No," he said. "Wahs that?" _I'm slurring, _he thought. _This stuff is strong._

Tsunade sat the sake aside and leaned toward him. She pushed him back onto the couch and climbed on top of him.

"They say sake can make the best woman turn into an animal."

"I always liked animals," Sakumo said.

She pulled his mask off in one quick, rough motion and kissed him – biting his lip slightly. "Let's go to the bedroom," she said.

They didn't quite run, but they went faster than was dignified. When they reached the bed she pushed him onto it. "Animals take what they want," she said. "I know what I want."

"Then take it," Sakumo said. It felt so good to let someone else decide for him just this once – to let her control his ruined life.

He lifted his hips slightly as she pulled at his pants, but she didn't seem to need much help other than that.

She grabbed his arms, and he couldn't help the small noise of pain that came out.

"Does that hurt?" she asked. She began to kiss his neck, biting occasionally.

_I'll have fucking bruises later, _he thought.

She tightened her grip, causing real pain this time. "I asked you a question," she said.

"Yes," he said. "Make it hurt more."

"I thought you might be the type," she said. She didn't make love to him so much as conquer him.

When they finished she leaned down and kissed him. "This was a good idea," she said.

He was glad when she let him pull her close. _I really thought she'd leave afterward_. They kissed, and she fell asleep in his arms.

He woke with the feel of her skin next to her, and he put his head close to her hair and inhaled deeply. _Strawberries, _he thought.

"Mmmm," Tsunade murmured in her sleep. She pushed back against him, fitting closely to his body.

Sakumo put his hand around her, feeling the muscular skin of her stomach. He preferred his women softer – more civilian. Kunoichis tended to be too hard – in body and soul for him.

He imagined that stomach swollen, with a small hand or foot poking at his hand from inside.

_I loved touching Kakashi's little hand inside his mother, _he thought. His wife had let out a squeak of pain when Kakashi had jumped or pushed, and she would always say that he wanted to get out.

Tsunade sat up and ran her hands through her hair. "That was a hell of a night," she said.

She stood and walked toward the bathroom, and he watched her perfect body as she moved away from him. He might have preferred imperfections, but what he was seeing was pure art.

She came out, still naked. He imagined her holding a large belly, streaked with stretch marks. Her eyes would be tired, and her face a little fat, but she would be so beautiful.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"I was just thinking that you would be so beautiful pregnant."

"That's something a man never said to me before," she said. She crawled back under the blankets with him. "Are you thinking about having more children, because I'm really not the type."

"No," Sakumo said. "I guess I was just thinking about the one I lost. I can't help it."

"I don't think you've lost him," Tsunade said. "He loves you."

Her words weren't comforting. They should have been, but everything was hollow when he thought of his son.

"Could you do something for me?" he asked.

"Sure," she said. "I'm into some weird stuff. What is it?"

"I just want to hold you," he said. _I miss that even more than sex, _he thought.

She lay against him again, and he ran his hand across that smooth stomach. In his mind it became full of life – full of Kakashi moving and squirming.

He heard Tsunade snore gently. _I hope she comes back, _he thought. _I know this doesn't mean anything to her, but I need her here. I can't stay alone like this._

He knew that others loved him, but he needed someone to hold at night – a warm body to welcome him.


	52. Chapter 52

Kakashi was beating CAT at Shoji for the third time when his next visitor came by.

_I really hope it's Gai_, he thought when he heard the knock. He knew that Gai's parents wouldn't let him visit, but he kept hoping. Even though he'd never admit it out loud, he missed Gai's obnoxiously happy personality.

"Come in," he said.

He wasn't prepared to see Rin walk through the door.

"I'm in town getting medical supplies, and I ran into Sarutobi Asuma. He said you're sick, so I thought I'd visit. He wouldn't tell me what's wrong."

"Not much," Kakashi said. "I got pneumonia on a mission, but I'm getting better."

Rin's eyes narrowed.

_Why would I lie to a medic nin about medical things?_ Kakashi wondered. _That was stupid._

He didn't want her to know. It was enough that his friends and family were burdened with his problems. He didn't want to weigh her down too. And he had a new thought. It had never mattered before, but now he didn't want Rin to think less of him.

_As if she could think any less of me, _he thought.

"Have a seat," he said. "It's good to see you."

"Is it?" she asked. She glanced toward a chair, but she didn't sit. "I'm just staying for a few minutes. How are you?"

_How did I never notice how pretty she is? _he wondered. Her hair looked so soft, and he had never noticed how large and dark her eyes were.

"You look different," he said, and he had to clear his throat when his voice broke at the end.

_What was that about_?" he wondered. His palms were sweaty and his heart beat quickly. _I don't even really like her_.

"I'm fine," she said. "I've been learning a lot out there. I haven't changed anything about how I look though. I don't know why you'd think I look different."

"I guess you just look..." he wanted to say pretty, but he didn't dare, "more confident."

She shrugged, "Maybe. Have you seen Sensei since...you know?"

"He came by earlier," Kakashi said. "It was awkward."

She glanced at CAT. "Can I talk to him alone?"

CAT shook his head. "Sorry, but Jounins have to have a personal guard when they're in the hospital. It's a new order."

Kakashi was grateful that CAT was quick to cover for him.

"I'm discrete," CAT said. "You two can talk freely." He moved back to stand in the corner. "Just pretend I'm not here."

"Ok," Rin said, but she didn't sound sure.

"You know Sensei doesn't blame you," she told Kakashi.

"I'm sure he does. He's just too kind to say so."

"I blame you," she said, "but I forgive you."

He looked away.

"I blame myself too," she said. "I thought that I could just leave and forget about all this, but I can't. We're both at fault."

Kakashi was afraid to look at her again. He was sure that even though she said she forgave him he'd see hate on her face.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he said.

"We all made our choices out there," she said. "Obito chose to save both of us – me after I was captured and you when you were about to be crushed. You had your own choices. I made mine a long time before we even went out there. I never should have let myself lean on you two. It won't happen again. I'm already learning a new jutsu that can be used for healing or defense, and I'll never let myself depend on a man to protect me again."

Kakashi finally looked at her, and instead of hardness he saw tears. "You always tried to make peace between us," he said. "I wish I'd realized how much you meant to me before it was too late."

She didn't respond.

"Is it too late?" Kakashi asked.

_I need her,_ he thought, but he stopped himself from saying it. _I don't love Rin; Obito loved Rin. I need Anko, not Rin_.

"I don't love you anymore," she said.

"I know, but I want to think that we're still friends."

"Were we ever?" she asked. "What did we ever have in common besides Team Minato?"

"Nothing," he said, "but we do now."

"You mean because we both caused our teammate's death?" she asked. "That's not friendship. It's something else."

_That's not even the same Rin that I knew, _he thought. _She reminds me of her mother._

"This isn't why I came here," she said. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. I didn't mean to upset you; I'll go now."

Kakashi saw Obito walk through the door. "You can't just let her go," he said. The half of his face that could still show emotion was a knot of misery.

"Rin wait," Kakashi said. "There's something I need to tell you."

She stopped halfway to the door and turned around. "Yes?"

Kakashi's eye throbbed and itched. "Obito still loves you," Kakashi said. "He asks about you every time he comes to visit me."

Rin blinked and opened her mouth. She shut it and looked toward CAT who stood unmoving and silent. CAT moved closer to the bed.

"Kakashi, are you ok?" Rin asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "Obito's behind you, in the corner. Ask him yourself. He misses you so much."

Kakashi saw Obito step forward. "I love you, Rin," he said. "I'll always love you."

Rin glanced toward where Kakashi was pointing. "If this is a joke it isn't funny."

"Why would I joke about something like this?" Kakashi asked. "He's right there. How can you not see him?"

CAT stepped to the bed and put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. He squeezed tightly. "Obito isn't here. If you can't calm yourself I'm going to have to ask your friend to leave."

Kakashi saw Obito begin to cry. "How can you be so mean to him all the time?" he asked Rin. "You made him cry again."

"Stop being mean to her!" Obito said.

"Stop yelling at me!" Kakashi said. "I'm taking up for you, Baka!"

"No one is yelling at you," CAT said.

"Obito is," Kakashi said. "Even after he's dead we can't really get along."

Rin gasped. "That's why you're here, isn't it? I didn't know you were that kind of sick. I'm so sorry."

Kakashi leaned back against the bed frame and crossed his arms. "I'm fine," he said.

Rin sat on the bed by him and put her arms around him.

"I've been so selfish," she said. "I didn't know it was this bad for you."

Just a few minutes ago he had felt all of Obito's love for her, and now all he wanted was for her to leave.

_I wish Anko was here, _he thought. He knew it was stupid; Anko would have just caused him more problems. But he needed her. _Obito needs Rin; I need Anko._

"Is there anything I can do?" Rin asked. She had the worried look he was used to.

Kakashi looked at Obito, who was looking at Rin with adoration and sadness.

"No," Kakashi said. "It really is too late, for all three of us."

Rin stood, wiping tears from her eyes.

Obito turned and walked through the wall, and Kakashi jumped out of bed. Before he could even call out to Obito CAT had pushed Rin away from Kakashi, throwing her toward the wall. He swept Kakashi's legs out from under him and pushed him onto the bed. CAT held him down with a hand on a chest, his fist raised and ready.

"Move and you get knocked out," CAT said. "You're having another fit, and I can't risk you harming her. She's just a Genin."

"I would never hurt Rin," Kakashi said. "Obito loves her. I'd never do that to him."

"Rin, you need to leave," CAT said, without taking his eyes off Kakashi.

Rin moved to the door quickly. "I'll come back later when you're feeling better," she said.

"No you won't," CAT said. "You can see him after he's released. Close the door."

Kakashi thought the sound of the door slamming behind her was like the clang of a jail cell.

"Ok, now it's just the two of us," CAT said. "Do you still see Obito?"

"No."

"Do you know that he was a hallucination?"

_He couldn't have been real, _Kakashi thought. "Yes."

Cat took his hand off Kakashi's chest. "I've going to buzz the nurse and get something to help you sleep, and I want you to stop fighting me. I don't want to have to tie you to the bed again."

All the adrenaline had faded from Kakashi's system, and he didn't feel like fighting, or explaining, or dealing with any of what was happening.

"Ok," he said quietly. "I don't need a sedative again. I'll behave."

"I'll give you one more chance, but if you do this again you'll be restrained," CAT said. "I'm just trying to help you."

"I know," Kakashi said. "I'm sorry I'm so much trouble." He felt disgusted with himself. "I just cause everyone that cares for me problems."

"It's ok," CAT said. "I'm not angry. I just want you to get well. That's all any of us want. That's enough talk for now. We can talk more after you wake up."

_There's no way I can sleep now, _Kakashi thought, but he drifted off and only woke when he heard BEAR come in for shift change.

"How is he?" he heard BEAR whisper at the door.

"Not good," CAT whispered. "He had a fit earlier. I talked him down, but I was really concerned for a while."

BEAR grunted. "He's strong. He could cause a lot of damage if he wanted to, but I don't think he'd attack a friend.

"He's ill," CAT said. "You didn't see him earlier, or you'd understand. Keep a close eye on him."

"I don't need you to tell me that," BEAR said. "I'm aware of how strong he is. I have faith in him though."

"I do too," CAT said. "I let my guard down over the last day or so. It's hard not to do sometimes."

"You care too much for him to have this assignment," BEAR said. "You should ask the Hokage to be reassigned. It would be for Kakashi's own good."

"He might feel like I'm abandoning him," CAT said. "I'll have to work harder on keeping my emotions in check. It's hard to see him like this. He reminds me of my son."

"I didn't know you have a son," BEAR said.

"I did. He died about Kakashi's age."

"Have you thought about spirit healing?" BEAR asked. "I would be glad to help you."

"I'm not superstitious," CAT said.

"Walk your own path, Brother," BEAR said. "I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"I'll remember that," CAT said. "I have to report to the Hokage now."

Kakashi heard the door close quietly, and the sound of the chair squeaking to adjust to BEAR's massive frame.

_I hurt everyone that cares for me_, he thought. A familiar tight sensation in his chest warned him just before his eyes began to water.

_I will not cry; I will not cry, _he thought. He managed to keep most of it to himself, but he wondered if BEAR knew.

He heard BEAR quietly chant behind him, and he smelled lavender.

He sat up in bed. "What is that?"

BEAR stopped chanting. "Just something to help you rest." Kakashi's eyes had adjusted to the dim light well enough to see smoke rising from an incense burner in BEAR's lap.

"Go back to sleep," BEAR said. "I'll keep the dark things away."

It was a silly thing to say, and Kakashi knew it. It still made him feel better though. He lay down.

"I made CAT really mad earlier," Kakashi said. "I fucked stuff up again."

"He's just concerned for you," BEAR said.

"I know," Kakashi said. "That's what worries me."

"Why should that worry you?"

Kakashi rolled over onto his stomach so he could get a better look at BEAR behind him.

"I lost a lot of people," Kakashi said. "Mom died, and there was Dad, Obito, and Rin. I think I kind of lost my Sensei too. It was all my fault. I like CAT. I don't want to make him mad."

"People move apart, but I know CAT isn't mad at you," BEAR said. I know how you feel about your teammates, and I can see that it would affect your Sensei, but I know your father is still alive."

"He's lost to me," Kakashi said. "He's been visiting, but it's almost like he doesn't want to be my father anymore."

"That's just depression talking," BEAR said. "I'm sure your father loves you."

"He does," Kakashi said, "but things just aren't the same now."

"And your mother?"

"She died a long time ago, and I don't remember her. What sort of son forgets his own mother? The nurses are right about me. I am a monster."

BEAR sighed. "And what about you is monstrous?"

Kakashi scowled and thought. "Mostly what happened with Obito. I've done bad things, but that's the worst. It's even worse than what I did one a mission once that still bothers me, and I used to think that was the worst."

"I want to show you something," BEAR said, "but after you've slept."

"I don't think I can sleep now," Kakashi said.

"Very well. Come sit with me then." BEAR moved to the floor, where he sat with his legs crossed under him. After pulling a packet out of his pocket he took a bit of herb and crushed it between his fingers.

Kakashi was sure he'd smell something foul and medicinal, but the herb smelled like mint.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I want to show you what could have been," BEAR said. "This is what could have happened. It's not facts – just what your own mind supplies. It helps some people, and others don't get anything from it."

Kakashi ate the herb and waited. "It's not doing anything," he said after a few minutes.

"Give it time," BEAR said. "I'll know when it's working."

"How?" Kakashi asked.

"Patience, little brother," BEAR said. He chuckled. "You have a resilient spirit. You're already curious after being so down."

Kakashi began to feel bored and tired after a few minutes. His mind drifted to other things. _I wonder what would have happened if things had been different, _he thought. _What is BEAR doing?_

"You're ready," BEAR said. "I can tell by your eyes."

"Ok," Kakashi said. He was starting to feel drowsy.

"This only lasts about 15 minutes. I can't pull you out like last time, but I'll protect you. What would it have been like if Obito had lived?" BEAR asked. "Imagine it."

He saw it before him. It all happened again. He felt the rock hit him, and he saw Obito turn and look upward. _I'll die this time, _he thought. He was surprised at the relief he felt, but he lost consciousness in the vision, but as he had in real life.

He opened his eyes and saw Obito sobbing over a still figure. _No, _he thought. _I was supposed to die._

Kakashi crawled toward Obito, and he saw Rin lying under the rockslide. Obito touched her ruined face.

Rin smiled, and Kakashi saw her broken teeth and bloody mouth. The vision faded.

"That's horrible," Kakashi said. "BEAR, what good is this?"

"We'll talk when we're finished," BEAR said. "We only have a short time. The other thing you spoke of earlier – the thing you did that you'd thought was the worst until Obito died. What would it be like if you had made another decision?"

Kakashi saw himself entering the little girl's bedroom, but he fought the vision. "I don't want to do this," he said.

"You'll never know if you don't," BEAR said.

_BEAR won't let me do something that would hurt me, _Kakashi thought. He let himself watch again.

In his vision he looked out of the ventilation grate and saw her sleeping. He turned around and crawled back the way he'd come and went back to his team.

"I can't do it," Kakashi said to them. "I just can't."

"It's ok," one of them said. Kakashi couldn't even remember his name anymore. He was just another ninja that he'd worked with so long ago.

"I'll do it," his teammate said. "It will be messy this way, but we'll complete the mission. "You stay here," he said to Kakashi.

Kakashi had to watch as they tried to infiltrate the heavily-guarded house. One died, but the other made it inside with only slight wounds.

Suddenly Kakashi felt himself drawn back into the house, looking down as his teammate entered the girl's room. She woke and screamed, but no one came.

Kakashi saw her run to the closet, and his teammate opened it to show her cowering in the corner.

"Don't hurt me," she said.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi's teammate said. "I hope you are happier in your next life." He ran her through with a sword.

The vision ended.

"That's about all the time we have," BEAR said. "Are you ok?"

"I guess so," Kakashi said. "I don't understand what I saw."

"Tell me and I'll try to interpret," BEAR said.

Kakashi explained the visions.

"So if Obito hadn't pushed you out of the way Rin might have?" BEAR asked. "That's what you think somewhere deep in your mind."

"She probably would have," Kakashi said. "It's like something she would do."

"What if it had been Obito that was injured with a rock about to fall on him?" BEAR asked.

"I'm sure Rin or I would have tried to save Obito," Kakashi asked. "There's no way all of us could have lived."

"That's right," BEAR said. "It was a matter of chance, wasn't it?"

"I guess," Kakashi said.

"Tell me more."

Kakashi described the girl's death.

"So if you hadn't done it you think your teammate might have died because the place was too guarded to get into with so few ninjas, and she would have suffered more. The people guarding her would have died, and probably at least some of her family."

"Yes," Kakashi said. "I was stealthier than my teammates; I remember that. I hadn't ever thought about what would have happened if I had just gone back."

"Did that help?" BEAR asked.

"It's something to think about," Kakashi said. "Can we do it again? I want to know what would have happened if Obito and Rin had lived and I had died."

"Is that something you think about often?" BEAR asked.

"All the time," Kakashi said. "That's how things really should have happened. If I could go back and change things that's what I would do. Then Obito and Rin would be happy. I was the one who wanted to abandon Rin. If I'd died they couldn't blame themselves."

"But they would have," BEAR said. "Whichever two of you lived would always blame themselves."

"I wish it had been me," Kakashi said. "It doesn't matter how things would have been. They were good people. I'm not. They deserve to live."

"Kakashi, do you think I'm a good person?" BEAR asked.

"Of course," Kakashi said.

"Why?" BEAR asked.

"You like to help people," Kakashi said. "That's one of the best things I can think of."

"I'm ANBU," BEAR said. "You know the sort of things we've all done. Why can you think of me as a good person, but you can't see yourself as one?"

Kakashi searched for an answer. "I don't know," he said.

"That's an answer you'll have to find for yourself. A lot of other people think you're a good person. I think you have the makings of someone who thinks about honor to the point of obsession. I'm proud to be a part of helping you through this."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. "I hope I can repay you someday."

"The things you'll do for Konoha are payment enough," BEAR said.

Kakashi yawned.

"That's enough for now," BEAR said. "These spirit walks can even exhaust adults."

"I'm not that tired," Kakashi said, trying not to let how tired he really was show.

BEAR chuckled and searched through several pockets. He handed Kakashi a pill. "Take it; get some rest."

Kakashi looked at the pill suspiciously. "Is it strong?"

"Yes. I make them myself. It will knock you out for a good eight hours."

"Will I wake up if something happens?" Kakashi asked.

"No," BEAR said. "I don't usually suggest them, but I think you really need rest. I don't approve of sedatives. There's no reason to use chemicals when natural remedies are better."

Kakashi rolled it around in his hand. "I don't like medicine," he said. "The last time I almost died."

BEAR took off his mask. "I've shown you my face," BEAR said. "You know what that means. Do you think I'd give you anything dangerous? Take it. You won't have dreams, and you'll wake rested. You need that."

Kakashi went to the bathroom and took the pill. _I really have to eat more, _he thought. It was hard to choke down the hospital food, especially after Mother's cooking.

He leaned forward and looked at his own face. _When did I begin to look like this? _he wondered, noticing that his cheeks had sunk in, and his eyes seemed almost raccoon-like with their dark circles.

"You ok in there?" BEAR asked. "That will put you out when it hits. You need to be lying down, or you might fall instead."

"BEAR, do you think my face looks kind of skeletal now?" Kakashi asked. "I never noticed before."

"You're seeing some new things because of the spirit walk. It might happen for a while. Think about it tomorrow."

Kakashi lay down, still thinking about how he'd changed since Obito had died. _BEAR didn't really say no when I asked him that._

He heard BEAR's deep, rumbling laugh nearby. "I don't think you look skeletal. I do think you look ill. You think too much."

Kakashi meant to reply, but the most he got out was a mumble as he fell asleep.

BEAR wasn't quite right when he said Kakashi wouldn't have dreams, but they weren't bad. He dreamed of Team Minato training again, but this time they were happy and co-operative, and his Sensei smiled as he watched them.

He woke half-way through an examination by Tsunade. "Good morning, Sleepy Bluebird. I can't believe you slept through me taking your temperature and pulse. I guess you finally got some rest?"

Kakashi stretched. "Finally," he said.

"You needed it," Tsunade said. She handed him a plastic bag. "You don't look like you've been eating either, so I brought you something. Don't tell anyone in the hospital. It's against policy." She glared at BEAR. "You didn't see this," she said.

She had brought him a take-out container of soup with pork. "It's better than hospital food. I want you to eat all of it, ok?"

"I'll try," Kakashi said. "It's a lot of food."

She leaned forward and pinched his cheek, accidently giving him a good view of her chest. "But you'll do it for me, won't you?"

"Yes, Tsunade-hime," he said, his voice breaking again.

After she left he ate, surprised at how hungry he was. "I forgot how good real food is," he said. After he ate about half he offered the rest to BEAR. "You want some?"

BEAR shook his head. "I don't eat meat. You should eat as much as you can anyway. You'll feel better when you get some strength back. As the body goes, so goes the mind."

"I dreamed about my team," Kakashi said.

"I'm surprised you dreamed at all," BEAR said. "Most people don't when they take that pill."

"It was a good dream," Kakashi said. "I haven't had a good dream since… I don't remember when."

"Think about that dream when you're down," BEAR said.

They were interrupted by a knock. Minato stuck his head inside. "I had some free time this morning, so I thought I'd drop in."

The awkwardness between them the day before was almost gone. "It's killing me sitting here when there's so much to be done," Kakashi said. "How is the reconstruction going?"

"Slowly," Minato said. "They're re-opening the academy, and the children who didn't see much action are getting special senseis to help them adjust."

"What are they going to do with the rest of us?" Kakashi asked.

"The council is still trying to decide. I know the Hokage is putting a lot of thought into this. We won't let you kids slip away from us."

"Sensei…er, Minato san," Kakashi began.

"Just Minato," Kakashi's former sensei said. "You're no longer my student, but I hope you will always be my friend."

"If you still want that after what I did," Kakashi said.

"After what Obito did," Minato said. "We need to remember how much he wanted to give to the people he loved."

He held his hand out to Kakashi. "I'm leaving on a long mission soon, and I wanted to see you before I left. I'm arranging the final settlements with what's left of the Iwas."

"How can you smile about that after what happened?" Kakashi asked.

"Because making peace means that we don't have to see more people we love die," Minato said. "Obito would have wanted it."

"He would," Kakashi said. "Good luck out there. I don't think I could do it. I hate them all."

"There's something I want you to remember," Minato said. "An enemy is usually an enemy just because he landed on a different side of a conflict. There's no evil in that. The Iwas aren't bad people just because we fought each other."

"I understand," Kakashi said. "I'll miss you teaching me things like that."

"Friends teach each other too," Minato said.

"You seem cheerful today," BEAR said when they were alone again.

"Things seem better," Kakashi said.

"Do you do this often – changing moods so fast?"

"Dad always said I was too mopey. He said I take after him that way."

"Hmmm…" BEAR said. "You run hot and cold in your soul, don't you?"

"I guess," Kakashi said.

"Balance would be a good thing for you to focus on," Kakashi. "We won't have much more time together here, but I hope you'll come to me after you leave. I've enjoyed getting to know you."

"It's been easier with you and CAT here," Kakashi said. "I think there are some things only ANBU can understand about each other."

"Very well put," BEAR said. "CAT should be here in a couple hours. Do you want to play a game of Shoji?"

Kakashi lost the game, to his surprise. _There's a lot more to BEAR than there seems to be. I don't know that anyone really knows him._


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53

The Hokage looked through reports long into the night. He had news on the new academy, the restructuring, and various things that required his attention.

He stopped and rubbed sore eyes. _Something is different in here, _he thought. He couldn't quite place what it was, but he felt that he was missing something small but obvious. It was the same way he felt when dealing with a genjutsu. He slid his hands under the desk as casually as possible and made a few hand signs. He released a net of chakra that spread through the room.

He looked for the tale-tale disruption in the blue chakra covering the floor, walls, and ceiling. _What I wouldn't do for a Sharingan right now, _he thought. _I wonder if one of those dammed Uchihas managed to sneak in here somehow._

He used several other jutsus, but saw nothing out of place. The windows were locked; he could see that from his seat. There were no discolorations that he didn't remember. Nothing blurred around the edges or lacking detail. It didn't seem like a jutsu had been used on him.

He studied his office, moving methodically around the room clockwise until he came back to his desk. He sighed with relief. _It's just the lamp, _he thought. Rin had insisted of buying him an atrocious floor lamp. It had been made to look like a tree, but he supposed the "artist" probably never actually saw a tree in his life. The only thing good about it was that it gave good light for his studies.

And now he saw that on one of its five stylized "branches" a bulb had gone out. He left the overhead light off at times, and the room had darkened just enough to tire his eyes.

_I'm getting paranoid in my old age, _he thought. _A light goes out and I start looking for enemies. But it's not paranoid if it's a reasonable fear. I didn't live this long by overlooking subtle attacks. Those Uchihas have more reason to kill me than anyone I know – or at least more passionate hatred against me._

He released the jutsus he'd been using to search the room. _I have to do something about that clan, _he thought. _I don't want to have to use Itachi against them. I've done enough to that poor boy already. There has to be another way._

He buzzed Rin. "I need another light bulb for the lamp. It's too dim in here."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," she said. She came in just a few minutes later and put it in for him.

"Why did you buy that ugly thing?" Sandaime asked.

"I know it doesn't fit with the rest of the office," Rin said, looking around at the natural look that the Hokage liked. He preferred natural wood and rock for decoration. "Hyuuga Kyzuki made it. The Hyuugas are such a sensitive clan, and they're so proud of their artists. Kyzuki is considered to be one of their best – by his own clan at least. Considering the Uchiha problems I thought it would be good to find a way for you to connect personally with the Hyuugas. They don't like the Uchihas either. If it comes to it I think they would be loyal to Konoha. They're as proud as the Uchihas, but they're still part of the village. The Uchihas almost aren't anymore."

He looked at the prim little woman in her severe grey dress. "You've been studying the clan histories I suppose?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I try to keep up on social matters that might affect you. With my security clearance it's not hard."

"You have an uncanny instinct for political thought," Sandaime said. "You would make a good strategist."

She smiled warmly. _I bet not many people see that smile, _the Hokage thought.

"I haven't seen you smile in a long time," he said.

"My daughter visited me while she was in town," Rin said. "I was worried about her. We didn't used to get along, but we talked together. I feel better about her now."

"I'm glad to see you happy again," the Hokage said. He saw that she had been filing. "I'll leave you to your work."

_That's an amazing woman, _he thought. _If I was 20 times younger and she was 20 times less of a hothead…_

He returned to the never ending pile of paperwork and scanned quickly to see what couldn't wait until the next morning.

He stopped at a list of children that had seen some field experience, but not enough to severely traumatize them.

_Umino got that organized quickly, _he thought. _I'm glad that he took up that responsibility. Opening the academy must have been enough work by itself._

He found his son's name. _This can't be, _he thought. He didn't know Asuma's teammates, but his new sensei was Uchiha Yori.

_It could be a coincidence, _he thought. _Part of the reason I picked Umino Taru was that he gets along with almost everyone and I know he's politically naïve. We checked him thoroughly._

He buzzed Rin again. "Do we have a file on Uchiha Yori?" he asked.

"Probably," she said. "We have a file on most of the Uchihas. If he's been important in any way he'll be in the cabinet."

"Find it for me," Sandaime said. He glanced at Asuma's name on the list. "It's important."

She brought the file quickly, her heels clicking loudly in the large room. "Where do you want it?" she asked.

He took it from her. "I need to look this over now. Have a seat," he said, waving to a chair. "I want to bend your ear."

She sat properly, her ankles daintily crossed. Sandaime couldn't help but notice her long legs under the knee-length skirt. Like most kunoichis she had toned muscles, but she managed a sort of stern elegance. He reminded her of a quartz crystal.

She treated him more warmly than most people he'd seen her with. He didn't know if it was out of respect for his position or a personal regard, but he was glad she wasn't the ice-queen she seemed to strangers when she was with him. There were times when he would enjoy talking with her when he was stressed, but tonight he only had one thought. She was a good listener, and it helped to work his thoughts out loud.

"Let me know what you think about this. This _Uchiha _is my son's new sensei," he said. "I'm sure you can see the problem."

"Do you think it was done on purpose?" she asked.

"I doubt it," he said. "I wouldn't have pushed for Umino Taru to be the new head sensei if I had any doubt as to his loyalty and honorable nature. We had him so thoroughly checked that his file probably has what brand of socks he wears. He's not the sort of man to do anything to hurt one of his students, and if this had been done purposely it would be for just that."

"Are you going to get Asuma a new sensei?" Rin asked.

"I need to," he said. "I have to find a reason that won't look like I'm just reacting out of spite. Most of the village probably knows that the Uchihas don't like me, but I doubt anyone but their own clan know why. I've told my Jounins and the Anbu, but the rest of the village is probably in the dark. This is exactly the sort of thing they could use against me."

"How so?" she asked.

"So far all we've done has been professional – or at least it could look that way. This is obviously personal."

"You could just assign him to a new sensei before the list goes public," Rin said.

"It's too late for that," Sandaime said. "The senseis have already been told who their teams will be. The list was posted at the academy."

"Asuma has some special abilities with wind chakra, doesn't he?" Rin asked.

"He's a genius," Sandaime said, feeling the familiar pride in his son.

"Wouldn't it make more sense for him to have a sensei that was of a wind nature? It's not a common affinity." She smirked.

"You're a cagey woman, Rin," the Hokage said. "It would make sense. I'll need to reassign other students to cover my intentions. If Asuma is just one of those students I doubt anyone could find fault with me. Thank you, Rin. You always help me get my thoughts straight."

"I'm glad to be of service, Hokage-sama," she said, and he saw that welcome smile again.

"He's a war hero," Sandaime said. "His file said that he lost an arm and most of an ear during a nasty battle. He had a Genin team about 10 years ago that was incredibly successful. If he wasn't an Uchiha I would be happy that he was Asuma's sensei, but I can't take the chance that this might be a trap."

"I can do some discrete research," Rin said.

Sandaime shook his head. "I made my decision. I'll reassign a good student to Yori. If he's innocent he deserves a good team."

"When did that list come out?" Rin asked.

"This morning," the Hokage said.

"It would look bad if you moved him that soon," Rin said. "You might want to move a couple other students before Asuma. I'm sure there are a few that would do better with another sensei. A week or so would probably work."

"That's a week that my son might be in danger," Sandaime said.

"I wouldn't think that if he's going to hurt Asuma he's do it that soon," Rin said. "He'll want to cover for himself too."

"That's a lot to risk," Sandaime said.

"You could have an Anbu watch Asuma," she said.

"RABBIT would be the best choice," Sandaime said. "He's an expert at camouflage and subterfuge. Even a Sharingan can't find a person if no one is looking for him. As long as he's undetected he should be fine, and I've never know anyone to notice RABBIT unless he wants to be seen. I'm not happy about this, but I think RABBIT can keep Asuma safe for a week."

He dismissed Rin and summoned one of his hawks. Even without being summons they were smart, viscous birds, and he used them to summon people occasionally. He was proud of his work with them. They were almost as smart as the Inuzuka's dogs.

"Find RABBIT," he said. "Two screams, one claw in the ground. He'll know what it means. You can find him at his house tonight."

The bird nodded, and when he opened the window it flew out quickly.

RABBIT arrived a short time later. "What are your orders, Hokage-sama?" he asked.

The Hokage explained the situation to him.

"I'll keep a close eye on Asuma," RABBIT said. "I'll protect your son with my life."

When he got home, Sandaime watched Asuma sleep again. _He looks so innocent when he's sleeping, _he thought.

He remembered Kakashi's situation. _It must be horrible to be Sakumo. I can at least try to protect my son. He's almost cut off from his. I should speak with him sometime. Just because I can't be merciful as the Hokage doesn't mean I can't be merciful as his friend._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sandaime decided to visit Kakashi the next day, but he stopped in the lobby when he saw Gai sitting with his head down. Gai's head jerked up, and he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"Good morning," Sandaime said. "Are you still waiting for Kakashi? I hope you've been sleeping. You don't look like it."

"I'm afraid he'll be let out and I won't be here," Gai said. "I haven't been able to see him since he got sick, and I don't want him to think I don't care."

"I'll let him know you're here," the Hokage said. "He still has about a week left. You need to go home and rest."

"But…" Gai began.

"Do I need to make that an order?" the Hokage asked.

"No sir," Gai said. "I'll go home. When can I come back?"

"You can come back tonight, not before." The pleading look on Gai's face reached him. "He knows that your parents won't let you see him. A good friend won't let something like that anger him. He'd be much happier if you could tell him about your training. Have you been assigned to your new sensei?"

"He's on a mission," Gai said. "He's supposed to be back tomorrow, and I'll be meeting with my new team."

"You should enjoy that. I'm sure Kakashi will want to hear all about them." He remembered the last time he'd seen Gai. The boy had been extremely energetic and positive. "He might be down when he gets out. I bet you're up to cheering him up, aren't you?"

Gai's slumped figure straightened and the Hokage saw his eyes light up. "I will be the best at cheering him up, Hokage-sama! Yosh."

"Er…ok then," the Hokage said. "I'll see you another time – hopefully more rested next time."

_What a strange boy, _he thought as he watched Gai practically run out the door. _I'm glad Kakashi and Asuma have a friend like that._

CAT sat in the corner chair, and Kakashi was sitting on the throwing cards at his hitai-ate, which he'd laid near the foot of the bed. Sandaime had to purposely keep his face from showing surprise.

_He's so thin now, _Sandaime thought. _He didn't look this bad the last time I saw him._

"Hokage sama!" Kakashi said. "I didn't expect to see you."

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Sandaime said. "CAT's last report concerned me."

"I'm better," Kakashi said. "It wasn't anything. My other teammate Rin came by, and I thought Obito was here. My hallucinations are getting better - really. This won't keep me in here, will it?"

"You still have about a week until the medication is fully in your system. I don't see why you can't go home then. I want you to visit with Dr. Yamanako regularly, but I think you'll recover soon enough. The Hatakes always were a resilient clan."

He looked at the cards lying on the bed near the hitai-ate. "I see you took our talk to heart. It's good to see you know at least one game."

"What game, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked. "I'm just testing my depth perception. I can't really use both eyes at once, and my aim is off."

"I see," Sandaime said. "Some children do that for fun, usually with a hat."

"Really?" Kakashi asked. "It doesn't seem very fun. I'm just killing time until I can get out of here. I figured if I'm stuck here I might at least do something useful. I've been exercising every day, but I can't train any jutsus in here."

"I see you kept the yo-yo," Sandaime said. "That's a sort of game too."

Kakashi picked the toy up from where it had been laying beside him. He flicked it a few times. "It's pretty cool," he said.

"I see. Are you still trying to make it into a weapon?"

"No. BEAR and I talked about a few things. I'm trying to learn to be less serious. It's not easy, but I'm trying really hard."

"So are you saying you're serious about learning to be less serious?" the Hokage asked with a smile.

Kakashi scowled, his silver brows creased in concentration.

"It's ok," Sandaime said. "Just a little joke. I can't stay much longer. I'll come by and visit when I can."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"Your friend Gai has been in the waiting room almost since you got here. He's upset that he can't see you. He wanted to make sure you knew that he was waiting for you."

"He was waiting this whole time?" Kakashi asked.

"He won't leave unless he's sent," the Hokage said. "You have a good friend there."

When the Hokage left Kakashi resumed throwing cards at his headband. "I don't see how this could be fun."

"Let me try," CAT said. He flipped a few cards, hitting the headband every time. "I got closer than you did."

Kakashi tried, missing the headband several times and hitting it once. "I can't believe I'm missing so much. My aim used to be almost perfect. I could hit a man-sized target with a kunai from across a field."

CAT flipped a few more cards, missing the hitai-ate once by just a couple inches. "See if you can do better than that," he said.

Kakashi tried again. "I'm getting better," he said. "If I aim slightly to the left I seem to get a little closer."

"My turn," CAT said. His aim was perfect.

They took turns until the cards ran out, and while Kakashi gathered the deck together he heard CAT chuckle. "I just tricked you, Kakashi. I think you might have played your first game."

"Noni? I know what games are. I've seen kids play them. They're stupid. The last time I saw kids playing a game they were building things out of sand, and one of them ended up crying. I'm not a little kid."

"You don't have to be stupid like that to enjoy some competition," CAT said.

"I understand competition," Kakashi said. "Gai and I compete all the time."

"I've seen you and Gai together," CAT said. "You two compete as ninjas learning skills together. You and I were competing for the fun of it. There is a difference."

"What's the point?" Kakashi asked.

CAT shrugged. "Not everything has to have a point. Sometimes that's ok."

"You sound like BEAR."

"I'll assume you meant that as a compliment," CAT said. "I like to think of myself as a logical man."

"BEAR makes sense," Kakashi said. "It's just not normal sense. He knows things."

"I suppose," CAT said. "If he helps you then I'm glad. I don't like all that mumbo-jumbo myself. I like things that I can see. I use my heart for people I love, but I try to use my brain the rest of the time."

"I used to think that," Kakashi said, "until my father came back from "that mission" and Obito died. Now I don't really know what I believe any more, but Obito always believed that the heart was just as important as the mind. He never really said that, but I think that's what I think he meant."

"It's really important to you what Obito thought about things, isn't it?" CAT asked.

"Obito understood things I didn't," Kakashi said.

CAT nodded. "I've had people around me like that too. I wish I could have known Obito. He sounds like he must have been an interesting person."

Kakashi remembered Obito's runny nose and silly mannerisms. "I didn't think so when he was alive. I was dumb."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakumo spent the morning killing wild boars near a farm outside the village for a D rank mission. It was degrading work. _They don't care if my skills dwindle to nothing, _he thought. _I bet there are people who would love to see that._ He stabbed his second boar that morning. _At least the farmer is grateful. He didn't seem to hate me at any rate._

He stabbed his kunai into the ground to clean it and wiped it on the grass. The warm blood steamed as it spilled from the boar's neck.

He hung the boar from a tree by the back feet and slit the neck further so that the blood would drain completely. _I wish I could preserve them, but I don't have time or salt, _he thought.

He killed three boars, the amount specified in the contract. The farmer probably couldn't afford any more. When Sakumo reported to the farmer the old man was suspicious. "You really killed three boars in four hours?" he asked.

"I'm a ninja," Sakumo said. "It was child's play."

The farmer grunted. "I want to see them."

Sakumo took him into the woods and showed him the pigs that he'd strung up to bleed.

"Why did you hang them up like that?" the farmer asked.

"I'm going to take them to a few families that can't afford meat," Sakumo said.

"They ain't good eating," the farmer said. "They're gamey and tough."

"You'd be surprised what poor women can do with spices and marinades. By the time they're done this mess could be served in a restaurant."

"If you say so," the farmer said. "You really did all this for someone else's family?"

"They're good people," Sakumo said. "They're just poor."

"You don't act like much like a ninja," the farmer said.

_Fuck, _Sakumo thought. _Here it comes._

"How do you mean?" he asked.

"They use that road north a lot," the farmer said. "They don't even know we exist. They pass us all the time like we was nothing."

"I don't think they know you feel that way," Sakumo said. "I always thought of myself as protecting the people of Konoha."

The farmer laughed sharply. "And what are we to the people of Konoha? We grow their food, and they turn their noses up at us. Bunch of fancy people who think they're better than us, if you ask me."

"_I didn't ask you," Sakumo_ thought. He didn't know what to say. He would have sounded defensive if he tried to explain how the village interacted with the rest of the fire nation.

"It doesn't matter," the farmer said. "I hope there are more like you."

"You…you mean that?" _That's a mean joke, _he thought.

"You said your last name was Hatake, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"It means field. Your people must have been farmers?"

"I don't know," Sakumo said. "We never were much for keeping up with family history."

"I know about you," the farmer said. "You have the look."

"What look?" Sakumo asked.

"You look like us," the old man said.

"What?"

The farmer looked down. "I can always tell an earthy man by his shoes," he said with a proud look. "I know things." He nodded. "I know lots of things."

_I think he's a little off, _Sakumo thought. "I suppose I've become rather earthy," he said.

"You talk like a rich man, but you have a poor man's heart. I can tell."

"Um…thank you? Do you have a few large bags I could buy to haul the boars home?"

"No, but I have a few burlaps you can have." He grinned, showing a few blackened teeth. "I like you; I'll keep your secret. No one has to know that you're like us."

Sakumo managed to fit the boars into the bags, and after he'd figured out the best way to distribute them he set off for home.

_I wonder what that farmer was on about. _ He wondered. He looked down at his shoes as he ran. He had always kept his clothes clean whenever he could when he was still important. He had considered it a point of pride and professionalism. Ninjas were the first thing some people saw about Konoha, and there was no reason for him to look shabby unless he was on a dangerous mission.

He hadn't had money to buy new clothes for a long time, and his shoes were the worse for wear. The boots were faded, and the leather had cracked. Ume had sewed a cut across the side for him, but she hadn't done a very good job, and whatever she'd used to sew the cut together was obviously cheap. The toes were scuffed and the black outer layer had worn off completely, leaving the ends an ugly brown.

_They're the shoes of a poor handyman, not a ninja, _he thought. _I think that old man might really know some things after all. I'm going back to the field in a way. I just wonder if it's as a tender of the field or a weed left to rot. Either way I've found my place in life. _

He hefted the pigs to shift their weight as they began to slip. He'd put a bag in each hand, and the third he'd slung carefully over his back after making a makeshift sling.

He grunted with the effort. No civilian could have carried so much weight, but ninjas could easily deal with a few dead pigs – and more. His arms and back were beginning to feel strained by the time he got home. _I never would have had this kind of trouble before, _he thought. _I really need to train more. _

He couldn't really care about training anymore. It seemed like a pointless thing. He loved working for his new friends fixing their houses, tools, and other broken items. They occasionally paid him with a bit of money, but he almost never had to buy food for the sisters or himself any more. The vegetables, rice, and occasional bits of meat his customers could spare were more than enough to feed them.

_It's not so bad, _he thought, but then fear gripped him. _What if I change so much that Kakashi is ashamed of me? He's so dignified, and his clothes are always clean and tidy when he can manage it. I've never seen him dirty unless he was training or just home from a mission, and I probably always smell like sweat now – sweat and poverty. I know my breath must reek with the spices the women in the neighborhood use to cover up the cheap food. What will Kakashi think of me someday?_

Ume was awake when he got home late that afternoon, but Rie had already gone to bed with a cold. Ume did what she could to help him butcher the hogs, but she wasn't much help with her arthritic fingers. Sakumo let her help long enough to let her feel that she'd been useful, but then he suggested that she get some rest.

He finished butchering the boars as quickly as he could to make sure the meat didn't spoil, and put as much as he could in the fridge. _I never thought I'd be happy that the fridge was mostly empty, _he thought. He wasn't worried about the lack of food. The neighborhood would never let "their" ninja go hungry, and he wouldn't ever let the sisters go hungry again.

What he couldn't fit into the fridge he put in the smoker out back. It was worn and broken in places – mended together with bits of metal, but it still worked.

He couldn't quite save all the meat, but by the time he was done he thought that he could feed most of the neighborhood. They were large boars. _I'm doing some good at least, _he thought. _If I can't serve all of Konoha, at least I can serve part of it._

XXXXXXXXXXx

Meanwhile Kakashi was wishing that his father would visit. There wasn't any particular reason; he just missed him. He missed all of his friends, but he missed his father the most. He'd turned to Akihiro when he was in pain, and he loved and needed his mother, but it was Sakumo that his heart turned to now.

"Do you and your Dad get along?" he asked BEAR.

"We usually do," BEAR said. "Things have been strained since I joined ANBU, but we still love each other. He doesn't know about ANBU, but I can't visit much with all the extra work. We argue about it sometimes, but we don't let it come between us. Our paths just diverge for now. When I leave ANBU someday I'll make sure to make it up to him and the rest of my family."

"Don't you miss them?" Kakashi asked. "I miss my Dad a lot."

"I think about them when I meditate. I try to clear my mind, but sometimes I have a few minutes where I have trouble emptying it of problems and worries. I think of my family a lot then. I find that smelling lavender oil helps me meditate when I can't concentrate."

"Does it make you sad?" Kakashi asked. "Thinking about my Dad makes me sad sometimes now."

"It used to," BEAR said. "I still feel guilty about it, but I've made as much peace as I can with it. They're sacrificing for Konoha too. They just don't know it."

"So you think of them as heroes?" Kakashi asked.

"I never attached that word, but they are," BEAR said.

"I want to ask you something, but I'm afraid it will make you mad," Kakashi said.

"I'm not an easy person to anger," BEAR said, "and even though I'm here as ANBU I think I'm doing more as a spirit healer. You can ask me anything you need to."

"I know what my Dad did was wrong," Kakashi said. "He meant well, but he caused a lot of deaths and hurt the village a lot."

"How we feel isn't wrong," BEAR said. "It's our actions that define a man."

"That's not the problem. I feel like he's a hero too. He only thought about his teammate. He's always thought more about other people than himself. I want to be like that, but I don't want to ever cost the village with my actions. I don't know how to feel about it. Sometimes I'm mad at him for what he did, and sometimes I'm proud. Is that weird?"

"I don't think so," BEAR said. "Everyone has different parts of their soul. You are a son and a ninja. The ninja in you thinks one thing and the son another. Let your actions be merciful, and your feelings might sort themselves out in time."

"I feel like I'm disloyal to the village sometimes when I don't hold it against him," Kakashi said.

"Feelings don't make a man disloyal. Actions do. Do you feel that your actions are disloyal?"

"I've never done anything disloyal to the village!" Kakashi said.

"I didn't think so," BEAR said.

Kakashi fell silent as he turned BEAR's words over in his head.

"I guess it's ok just to love him," Kakashi said.

"We don't choose who we love," BEAR said. "I imagine your father needs that right now, more than you probably know."

"I wish he'd come by," Kakashi said. "He has this idea that he doesn't need to be around me much. He thinks it will involve me in his dishonor."

"He probably has some mixed up thoughts too," BEAR said. "Give him time to sort them out. A son is always in his father's heart."

"I hope it doesn't take too long," Kakashi said. "It's hard to wait sometimes."

"If you could tell him anything without worrying about the consequences, what would it be?"

Kakashi thought about it. "I guess I'd tell him that I'm scared that we won't know each other anymore – that he might not want me around. I'm afraid he'll be ashamed of me."

"Do you believe it's true?" BEAR asked.

"I don't know. I really don't know."

Kakashi dreamed of his father that night – of the happier times when they trained and laughed together, and then about the time when the villagers threw rocks at Sakumo after he returned from his mission.

He managed not to cry when he woke. CAT had come in while he was asleep, and he didn't want to look any weaker than he already did.


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54

Asuma found Gai in the waiting room the next day – just as he'd expected. "You're as faithful as a guard dog," he said.

"I just got here," Gai said. "I had to meet my new team this morning. Have you met your new Sensei?"

"We're meeting later tonight," Asuma said. "Did they really make you leave your other teammates?"

"They hadn't seen any action," Gai said. "I'm with a couple other ninjas that had to fight some. I miss my teammates, but this is for Konoha."

"I found out that I have an old war hero for a Sensei," Asuma said. "He's an Uchiha. Dad's gonna be pissed."

"Why?" Gai asked.

"Geez, I thought everybody knew that Dad and the Uchihas don't get along. He won't talk about it, but I've heard enough rumors."

"I never noticed," Gai said. "I'm interested in action, not politics."

Asuma sat near Gai. "You know we can't do anything for Kakashi while he's in here. Why are you here every day?"

"If I'm not here I'm letting him down," Gai said.

"That's dumb."

"That's what the adults think, and sometimes they almost convince me, but I need to know that I did what I could."

"You're really weird sometimes, Gai," Asuma said. "Kakashi's fine. Dad told me he's just in here for a week more, and that's just for observation. Dad said he's almost well, and we don't need to worry about him."

Gai grumbled something and stared at the nurse's station.

"I have an idea," Asuma said. "Let's go train some. I didn't get any training in today, and I bet we'll be talking a lot later. Sensei will probably want to ask us questions or something."

"I don't really want to train," Gai said.

"Come on," Asuma said. "Let's go."

"I should," Gai said. "I need to have something to tell Kakashi when he gets out."

"What happened to you?" Asuma said. "You were always so happy."

"I've had friends get injured, but this is different. It makes me feel…I don't know…weird. I don't like my friends getting really sick. It's scary. I can see a wound. I can't see what's making Kakashi sick. I wish it was an enemy so I could kill it. If I could just see him I'd feel better."

"I know," Asuma said. "I wish Dad would let me see him, but I'll have to wait until he gets out too."

He talked Gai into leaving with him, and they worked on jutsus for an hour. "You're getting better," Asuma said.

"I have to keep up with Kakashi," Gai said. "I can't let my rival win." He created a clone and struck quickly, sending Asuma flying

"Not fair!" Asuma said from the ground. "We said nin-jutsu only!"

"That was fair," Gai said. "The point of the clone was to distract you. I was using the jutsu as a strategy to use a physical attack."

"I guess that's ok," Asuma said.

Gai held out his hand to Asuma, who grasped it and stood. "You win this time," Asuma said. "Don't get used to it. I have an Uchiha teaching me. I'm going to learn all kinds of neat jutsus."

"I have to get something to eat and meet my new team," Asuma said. "You want to come over for dinner?"

"Sure," Gai said. "You sure your Dad won't mind?"

"Nah," Asuma said. "It's just sandwiches tonight. He's busy."

They headed toward the Hokage's house.

"Race you there," Asuma said, beginning to run.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Gai yelled. He chased after Asuma, but he couldn't catch him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko snuck through the hospital lobby. Just because one nurse said she could visit unattended didn't mean the other nurses would believe her. She managed to avoid questions until she reached the desk.

"I'm here to see Hatake Kakashi," she said. She tried to put on an innocent face, and she hoped the nurse wasn't too used to dealing with Kunoichis.

The nurse looked over a list. "You're on the approved visitor list," she said. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yes ma'am," Anko said, trying to look like a sweet, obedient girl.

The nurse smiled and took a sucker from a jar. "Would you like a piece of candy?"

Anko smiled and took the candy. _I like her, _she thought. _She must not know who I am._

Kakashi was doing pushups when she came in, and an Anbu with a cat mask stood in the corner of the room.

"Hey," she said around the sucker.

"Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty," Kakashi counted before he stopped and sat on the floor. He wiped a hand across his sweaty forehead.

"You're not really sweating from fifty little push-ups, are you?" Anko asked.

"I've been working out all morning," Kakashi said. "It's driving me nuts not to train. You want to try a couple jutsus with me? We could do genjutsu; that's safe in a hospital."

"Is that ok?" he asked CAT. "We're not going to do anything dangerous."

"It's fine," CAT said. "Just be careful."

"How do you want to do this?" Anko asked.

"Use a jutsu on me," Kakashi said. "I want to see if I can break out of it."

Anko made a couple quick hand signs, but Kakashi didn't see anything change around him. _Either she's already trapped me or nothing happened. _The room looked normal. "Release!" he said loudly, but nothing happened.

"Did you do anything at all?" he asked.

Anko didn't answer him. She didn't move either. _She still has me, _he thought. He gathered chakra, waiting until he had enough to release himself.

He was just about to try to release himself again when he heard Anko's voice say "release!"

The world blurred just a bit and returned to focus. "You couldn't break the jutsu, could you?" Anko asked, smirking.

"I was about to," Kakashi said. "I was building up some chakra so I could."

"Sure you were," Anko said.

Kakashi grumbled a bit.

"You try one," Anko said.

Kakashi used a simple jutsu he knew. It would make Anko oblivious to what happened around her. It was probably the same one she'd used on him. It was simple, but effective.

Anko blinked and smirked again. "Is that all you got?" she asked.

"No," he said. "Let me try again. Sensei taught us a useful one."

He made quick hand signs, and a swirl of leaves surrounded Anko, settling to the floor. Anko didn't say anything, but he saw her pupils dilate.

_I have her now, _he thought. He had timed the jutsu so that it would begin in a minute, allowing her to think she had beaten him. _I bet she's telling me that I can't beat her right now, _he thought. _Mistress of gen-jutsu my ass._

He waited for the signs that she was trying to release herself. He'd seen people try to release themselves from genjutsus before. There would be signs of physical distress. Some people began to breathe heavily or sweat. He'd seen someone close his eyes tightly and clench his fingers.

He watched, but Anko simply sat there with wide eyes.

"Look at that, CAT," he said. "I really caught her this time."

"Looks like it," CAT said.

After a few minutes he said, "I guess I ought to release her. She probably hasn't even realized she's caught in my jutsu."

He tried to release her, but nothing happened.

"That's odd," he said. He put more chakra into it, but she simply sat and stared at him.

"That's not good," CAT said, moving to the side of the bed.

"Anko's really good with gen-jutsus," Kakashi said. "I can't believe she'd be caught in such a simple one."

He began to gather more chakra, until he was sure he had enough to release her. _Wait, _he thought. _I can't trap Anko like this._

"Release!" he said, but he used the chakra on himself. Suddenly he was looking at Anko laughing at the foot of the bed.

"You were in that for five minutes!" she said. "How long did it take you to realize what I did?"

"I knew the whole time," Kakashi said. "I just wanted you to feel like you won."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "I'll be glad to teach you sometime," she said.

His pride and his curiosity fought a quick battle. Curiosity won. "You just wrapped a jutsu inside another jutsu, didn't you? Instead of me seeing things as normal, I saw what you meant me to see?"

"It's not that simple," she said. "If it was I couldn't have trapped you so well."

"Then what did you do?" he asked.

"It's a secret," she said.

"But you said you'd teach me!"

"I might," she said. "But say I'm the best first."

"You're the best girlfriend," he said, hoping it was enough to get her to teach him without admitting she'd beaten him.

"No. Say I beat you," she said.

He purposely mumbled something that might have sounded like, "you beat me," but was just a few meaningless syllables.

"Close enough," she said. "Promise you'll buy me dango and I'll teach you."

"I'll buy you dango when I get out," he said. "I would have done that anyway. I love buying you dango."

"I'm just kidding this time," Anko said. "You're the one in the hospital. I'll get you a present this time."

"You don't have to," Kakashi said. _I can't let her spend money on me, _he thought. _I know she barely has enough._

"I want to," she said. "I've missed you."

"I've only been here a week," Kakashi said.

"You really don't get it, do you?" Anko asked. She looked so sad it hurt him.

"I hate seeing you look sad," he said. "What did I say?"

"Nothing. It's not your fault."

"No really," Kakashi said. "I'm always making you mad or sad. I don't want to."

"It's not you," she said. "There's something that I want to tell you, but I'm scared."

"You can't be scared of me," Kakashi said. "That's silly."

"I'm scared you won't want to be my boyfriend anymore."

"You've broken up with me at least twice," Kakashi said. "There were a few more times I thought you might break up with me. If I wasn't going to be your boyfriend I would have done it then. I really like you."

"Do you promise not to be mad or break up with me if I tell you?"

_She's really worried about this, _Kakashi thought. _It's probably about Orochimaru._

She glanced at CAT. "Can I talk to him alone?"

CAT shook his head. "I'm supposed to stay here," he said. "I won't tell anyone what I see or hear."

"You can't just regular promise," she said to Kakashi.

"Well, what do you want then?"

"You have to swear," she said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.

"Grown-ups do it when they say something really important that they can't lie about. I've heard a couple do it on missions. You have to pick something really important – something you can't bear to lose. Then you have to swear by it. You have to say, "I swear by – whatever."

Kakashi thought about it. _What's the most important thing to me? _He wondered. "I swear by Konoha that I won't be mad or quit being your boyfriend when you tell me. Is that right?"

"Yes," she said.

"Well then what is it?" he asked, losing a bit of patience.

"I love you," Anko said quietly.

Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "Well I know that. You already told me that I'm your favorite."

"You knew?" she asked.

"Well sure. I mean, you're my favorite too."

"Oh…" she said.

"Why were you so afraid I'd be mad?" Kakashi asked.

"I read a book one time where a woman told a man she loved him and he hit her. It was a mystery. I didn't finish the book; it made me too sad."

"What the hell?" Kakashi asked. "I'd never hit you – I mean not unless we we're training, but that's different. The rules are different for sparing, right? We're supposed to…"

"Kakashi!" Anko interrupted, "would you listen? This is important."

"Ok," he said. "I'm confused."

"You're my favorite person ever," she said. "I got really scared when you got sick, and I wanted to tell you that I love you."

"Oh," He said. "Thank you."

He was so focused on Anko that he didn't notice CAT cringe.

"You're welcome," Anko said.

_Why does she look so sad? _Kakashi wondered. He thought about his father, and Akihiro and Mother. He knew what love was. It wasn't something to be afraid of.

"Why are you still sad?" he asked.

"I hoped that you love me back," Anko said.

"I already told you that you're my favorite," Kakashi said. "That's the same thing."

She smiled again, and Kakashi thought he'd do almost anything to keep that smile on her face.

"I'm glad," she said. "I know I'm kind of mean sometimes."

_Kind of? _Kakashi thought, but he was smart enough not to say so.

"I still love you," Kakashi said.

They were interrupted when Sakumo opened the door.

"Dad!" Kakashi said. "I was hoping you'd come by."

"I bought you a present," Sakumo said. He handed Kakashi a large book.

"This is awesome!" Kakashi said. He flipped straight to the part about Tantos. "It has a whole section about the history of the tanto! That's my second favorite weapon?"

"What's your favorite?" Sakumo asked.

"My brain of course," Kakashi said.

Sakumo laughed. "Good boy. I hope you enjoy the book."

"I love it!" Kakashi said. "Thanks."

"How are you doing Anko-chan?" Sakumo asked.

"I'm fine," she said, "since my parents let me see Kakashi." She winked at Sakumo.

He smiled at her. "That was fortunate, wasn't it?"

Sakumo spent time with Anko and Kakashi. _He already has a girlfriend, _Sakumo thought. _He's growing up too fast._

He walked Anko out of the hospital. "You've been eating?" he asked.

"I eat enough," she said.

"Mmmm hmmm. I doubt it somehow. Let's get some lunch, and we could go out to the practice fields later. Would you like that?"

"You want to train with me Sakumo-san?" Anko said. "You're not joking, right?"

"I thought you wanted to call me Otousan," he said. He took her hand as they walked.

"Ok, Otousan," she said.

"I wouldn't joke about something like that," Sakumo said. "I could begin to teach you a jutsu if you want."

"Yeah!" she said. "No one wants to teach me anything. I had to learn stuff from books and sneaking around the training fields watching teams train."

_No ninja should have to sneak to learn, _Sakumo thought. _My punishment is deserved. She's innocent._

"I need to wear a henge," Sakumo said. "I only do it when I have to, but I'm afraid people might be mad at you if they see you working with me."

"Is the village still mad at you?" Anko asked.

"Yes. I think they always will be," Sakumo said, "I don't get mad about it though. I love Konoha."

"I'm not mad at you," Anko said.

"I'm glad, Anko. You're a good girl."

Anko's brows furrowed. "No I'm not."

"Well, I think you are."

"Thank you, Otousan."

He took her to a cheap roadside stand that sold cheap noodle soup. _I wish I could afford better. She probably doesn't eat good food often._

Her appetite was good, and she ate her soup quickly. She belched.

"Anko, that's bad manners," Sakumo said.

"Excuse me," she said.

"Let's go train now," he said. "I have the day off." _I have every day off unless I find work for myself in the neighborhood or beg for a mission, _he thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

While Sakumo and Anko were leaving the hospital CAT was doing some teaching of his own.

"Anko is interesting," he said.

"Yeah. She's the best."

"Can I give you some advice?" CAT asked.

"Ok."

"If you ever have another girlfriend, and she tells you that she loves you, don't say thank you. That could have gotten you into a lot of trouble. If you feel strongly about a woman tell her that you love her too."

"But I did tell her that."

"No, you told her that she was your favorite. I know what you mean, but you have to use the right words when you talk to women."

"Why?"

"They don't think like us," CAT said.

"Why?"

"No one knows," CAT said. "I certainly don't understand women. More than a few women have told me so."

"I'm never going to have another girlfriend," Kakashi said. "Anko's the best."

CAT chuckled. "I hope that's true. You would be very lucky."


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55

Kakashi wasn't one to question orders, but the next morning when Jiraiya visited he tried to convince his uncle to talk the Hokage into letting him leave early.

"I need to help my family," Kakashi said.

"Sakumo and I are helping out there," Jiraiya said. "I've been checking on Akihiro occasionally and running errands for them, and Sakumo is putting in a ramp for the wheelchair. Akihiro said they had one the first time he broke his leg, but it was cheap wood and rotted eventually."

"It's hard to believe that they're letting Dad help them."

"Mother Morino is a wise woman. You're more important to her than a grudge."

"Can you at least ask the Hokage if I could see Akihiro? I'm worried about him."

"He's healing," Jiraiya said. "You don't have to fix the world, Kakashi. Let some other people take responsibility too."

"It's hard," Kakashi said. "It's my fault that Akihiro is hurt; I should be helping him. I need to help Mother too. She looks so tired. Even if you and Dad are there she needs me. I'm family."

"I'll talk to the Hokage," Jiraiya said, "but there's a reason you're in here for so long. I know you think you're better, but the Hokage told me about what happened with Rin. You could have hurt her."

"I didn't want to hurt her. I thought Obito was leaving, and I was trying to stop him."

Jiraiya let out a deep breath. "I don't want to be the heavy here, but you did hurt a nurse. Everyone knows that you thought you were fighting an enemy ninja. No one holds it against you, but if you leave when you know that you need to stay here you're responsible if you hurt someone else."

"I'll stay then," Kakashi said. "I don't want to hurt anyone else. Have you heard anything about the nurse? I forgot about that."

"I asked about her. She can move her thumb a bit."

_He needs to work on his emotion control, _Jiraiya thought as he saw the sad look on Kakashi's face.

"Did you ever hurt someone on accident?" Kakashi asked.

_I wish he hadn't asked me that, _Jiraiya thought, _but he needs me to be honest with him._

"A few times," he said. "It's impossible to avoid collateral damage all the time, no matter how hard I try. Powerful jutsus can cover too much area, and one time I accidentally caught a group of gypsies in an attack meant for someone near them. I didn't even know that they were in the woods."

"Did they die?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes. It still haunts me. There were a few others, civilians who couldn't get away during a fight with Orochimaru when he left Konoha. It was in a small farming village about a day from Konoha. Orochimaru sent one of his snakes at me, and I made a hair shield. It's designed to send out needles when it's attacked, and when the snake hit me I shot out hair automatically. Those things can puncture stone to 4 inches, and some of it went through a window and hit a woman and her daughter that were hiding there."

"What did you do?" Kakashi asked.

"I heard them screaming, and I let Orochimaru get away. I took them to a doctor, and he said they'd live."

"What if the medicine doesn't work?" Kakashi asked. "I can't do this forever. I can't live going in and out of here or worrying about freaking out and killing Konoha citizens."

"It will work. It was doing fine before. The only reason that they quit using it was because you had that allergic reaction to your Sharingan."

"I'll stay the whole time," Kakashi said, "but can I at least visit Akihiro?"

"I think I can talk the Hokage into that. You'll have to have an escort."

"That's ok. I just want to see him."

XXXXXXXXX

Sandaime was having his own reasons to be anxious. He tried to focus on the work in front of him, but his mind kept straying. _Asuma will be meeting his team today, _he thought. _RABBIT can handle this. I have to have faith in my ANBU. They are the most dedicated ninjas I could find._

He tired of trying to work and walked the streets of Konoha, just to feel the village. As the people greeted him he began to feel more light-hearted – not much, but somewhat. _It's a good place to live, _he thought. _We'll get through all this Uchiha business, one way or another._

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi was reading his gift from Sakumo when Jiraiya came back that afternoon. Kakashi looked up.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Jiraiya asked. "Come on then. Let's go see Akihiro."

"The Hokage said yes?"

"He did. We need to get down there before he has his physical therapy. It wears him out."

"I'll wait here," CAT said.

Kakashi ignored the sideways glances and whispers as they walked down the labyrinth of hallways. _It doesn't matter, _he thought. _I'll just have one more thing to prove. I already have enough. One more thing isn't that different._

Mother and Akihiro were talking when Kakashi came in. "They let me out for a bit," Kakashi said. "I needed to make sure you're not mad at me. I'm really sorry."

Akihiro rolled his eyes. "Of course I'm not mad at you."

"He wouldn't let us alone about coming to see you," Jiraiya said smiling. "I thought maybe if he saw you himself he'd feel better."

Akihiro patted the bed. "Give me a hug. We're almost done here; it will be good to go home, won't it?"

"Oh yeah," Kakashi said. "I hate the hospital. I never want to deal with nurses again."

Mother kissed him on the forehead. "Good. I don't want you dealing with them either."

"Except for Tsunade-hime," Kakashi said. "She's a doctor though."

"Is that the one with the high heels? You like her then?" Mother asked, wrinkling her nose.

"She's Dad's friend," Kakashi said. "I think she's the only one not scared of me in here."

"I think you have a little crush on your doctor then," Akihiro said.

"Runs in the family," Jiraiya grumbled.

"You have a crush on Tsunade-hime?" Kakashi asked.

"I did," Jiraiya said. "I think I'm over it."

_He looks angry, _Kakashi thought. _I think he still likes her. I wonder why he says he doesn't?_

"I can't wait to get home and eat real food," Akihiro said. "This hospital stuff makes field rations look like gourmet food."

"I'll make you two whatever you want," Mother said.

They didn't have enough time together. When a nurse came to help Akihiro Kakashi wished he could stay with him, but he knew better.

The nurse gulped and obviously tried to stay away from Kakashi.

"I'm sorry. I'll go," Kakashi said. "You don't have to be afraid. I won't hurt you."

"I know," she said, but she didn't look any less frightened.

"Honestly," Mother said. "How can you work in a hospital if a child frightens you?"

The nurse lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, ma'am. Are you ready to go, Akihiro-san?"

"Let's get it over with," he said.

The nurse moved to help him up, but Mother intervened. "I'll help him. I wouldn't want you to be afraid of another one of your patients," she snapped.

"I'll see you in a few days, Sweetie," Mother said to Kakashi.

"Don't let them get you down," Akihiro said. "I'm just glad to see that you're ok."

The nurse followed hesitantly. She stopped at the door. "I'm sorry, Kakashi. We haven't treated you very well. I hope you get well soon."

Kakashi and Jiraiya sat in the quiet room. "Are you ready to go back?" Jiraiya asked.

"I guess," Kakashi said. "I wish I could have had more time with them."

"It's less than a week now," Jiraiya said. "You just have to hold out a little longer."

"How did it go?" CAT asked when they returned.

"Akihiro's good, the nurses are still scared of me, and Mother's mad at them for it."

"From what you told me I hope I never end up on her bad side," CAT said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After his therapy Akihiro always felt as worn out as if he'd just finished a hard training session. Mother stayed with him as he worked through the torture of using his knee again. His earlier optimism had faded. The knee wasn't as bad as before in some ways, but even though he could bend it more than before the accident it hurt twice as much now.

Mother helped him into bed, and he fought to keep his eyes open long enough to talk to her.

"I hate being stuck in the hospital when you need me," he said.

"You'll be out of here soon," Mother said. "I have people to take care of us, and Kakashi will be fine once the medicine kicks in. Ibiki is doing fine. He reminds me of you when you were young. Kakashi will be strong again; I'm sure of it."

Akihiro touched her cheek. "You're the glue that holds us together. I never forget that. I'll figure out some way to keep all of you safe."

"You worry too much," Mother said. "There isn't anyone who wants to hurt us."

"There are a lot of people who want to hurt Kakashi, and I'm sure some of my old enemies might like to take the opportunity to hurt my family. Could you ask Sakumo or Jiraiya to stay with you until I get out? I don't know anyone else their age I can trust with my family."

"Are you really saying you trust Sakumo?" Mother asked. "He purposely failed a mission."

"What he did was wrong, but he did it because he's can't let someone he cares for die. I think he'll be just as likely to keep all of you alive."

"I'll ask," she said. "I already decided to put aside my anger so the boys can have the help they need."

"You're so strong," Akihiro said. He yawned and blinked.

"Go to sleep," mother said. "I'm going to see Kakashi, and then I'll see if I can find Jiraiya and Sakumo. I'm sure they'll stay over if it will make you feel better."

XXXXXXXXXXX

Akihiro was too tired for worries to keep him awake, but as soon as he woke he was working on the problem – trying to find solutions.

_Sakumo and Jiraiya can't be there all the time, _he thought. _I know what I can do; I just don't want to do it. I'll have to give up my pride for now. I need to do something more permanent than a couple people staying with Mother occasionally._

He took notepaper and a pen from the bedside table and wrote a short letter. When Jiraiya came by later to visit, Akihiro asked, "would you see that the Hokage gets this?"

Jiraiya tucked it into a pocket. "I'll make sure he gets it."

They chatted about the village.

"It's nice to talk to someone with high clearance," Akihiro said. "Can you tell me anything about the Uchihas?"

"Sandaime told me the Uchihas on council didn't come back to the last council meeting. No one on the council is talking about it. I think that's a bad sign."

"This could split the village," Akihiro said.

"I think it already is," Jiraiya said. "Sandaime said they're a little less obsessed with Kakashi lately. I'm sure that will change once he gets out of here, but for now they're angrier about other things. What happened in the council meeting has really got them fired up."

"I wonder how he gets so much information," Akihiro said.

"He won't even tell me," Jiraiya said. "He says he's sure his source is accurate. That's all that matters. I trust his judgment."

When Jiraiya gave the letter to the Hokage he read over it. "Do you know why Akihiro wants to see me?"

"He didn't say what was in the letter," Jiraiya said. "He just asked me to deliver it."

"I'll come by later," Sandaime said. "I have something I need to take care of first, but I haven't forgotten how much he's given to Konoha over the years."

The thing he had to take care of was checking on Asuma's sensei. He'd been able to put it out of his mind enough to work, but he had to know.

A summons brought RABBIT. "I didn't see anything out of order," RABBIT said. "When the team met they got to know each other, and Taru gave them a stern lecture about honor and what it means to fight for the people a ninja loves."

"Did he say anything about Konoha?" the Hokage said.

"Not really. It was all theory."

"That interests me. I had hoped to hear that he's teaching them to be good, honorable _Konoha _ninjas. I'm concerned that he'll try to turn them into dissidents."

"It's too bad he's an Uchiha," RABBIT said. "I think he'll be a good sensei. He seemed stern, but unless he's acting I think he really is interested in guiding his team. Asuma was fascinated."

"That can't be helped. Young ninjas see someone like Taru and see the wounds as glamorous. They all want to be heroes until they see what war is really about."

After a few instructions to RABBIT the Hokage released him.

_Now to see what Akihiro needs, _he thought.

Akihiro was writing when the Hokage came in.

"Working on council business?" Sandaime asked.

"I usually am," Akihiro said. "I've been working on the chart you asked for about economic problems since the ninjas returned from the war."

"Getting that information must have been a lot of work," Sandaime said. "Do you have enough ninjas to help you?"

"The four assigned to me are fine. They're extremely thorough. I want to put in a good word for them."

"Is that why you called me here?" the Hokage asked.

"No. It's difficult for me to ask this, but I need to take you up on something you offered me the first time I hurt my knee."

Sandaime searched his mind, but he couldn't remember much about that time – at least not much that didn't involve the running of the village. Akihiro's injury had been problematic, but it wasn't something that had demanded much of his time.

"You said you'd send an ANBU to my house to keep my family safe until I was stronger."

"I remember now. You wouldn't let me."

"I was young enough that pride kept me from doing what was wise. I need to take you up on that offer now. I can't trust Ibiki and Kakashi with this. They're too young, and I know Ibiki couldn't take on a Chunin. From what I know I think Kakashi could take on most ninjas in battle, but I can't depend on him while he's sick."

"I'll talk to the ANBU and send someone to your house," the Hokage said. "It will be better if he can work undercover."

"We have a small room in back that we can "rent"," Akihiro said. "It shouldn't rouse suspicion."

"When I send him he'll tell your wife that he's heard you have a room for rent, and his wife kicked him out."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Akihiro said. "I'll tell Mother. She should be here in awhile."

He didn't tell the Hokage how bad it made him feel to ask for help.

_It should be me, _he thought. _I promised Mother I would keep her safe. It was one of the first things I told her – when our souls touched before our bodies ever did._

Later that day a tall thin man with skin that had turned leathery and rough from a hard life came to Akihiro's house. He wore shabby, patched clothes and had a meek attitude. He looked a little better off than a tramp, but not by much.

He held a battered hat in both hands. "I heard you have a room for rent," he said. "The wife threw me out."

"Why did she throw you out?" Mother asked. It wasn't a part of the story she really needed to know, but it was something she would have asked a real renter, and she knew to help the ANBU stay in character.

"Ah – well, I work when I can, but I could never afford the things she wants. I guess she found a guy who can give her things."

"I'm sorry for that," Mother said. "We do have a room, but it's small."

"I don't mind," CAT said. "I just need a place to stay. I left most of my things at the house. I probably won't be going back for most of them."

"You look like she didn't feed you very well," Mother said. "Come in and have something to eat. We don't have much, but I can always add a bit more cabbage to the pot. I don't let people go hungry in my house."

CAT smiled, his uneven teeth giving him a childish, mischievous look. When he smiled the wrinkles around his eyes were more noticeable. "It's been a long time since I've had a good home-cooked meal," he said.

After he was inside and away from prying ears, CAT said, "it's my honor to protect your family, ma'am."

"I'll feel safer with you here," Mother said. She looked him over. "You really are too thin. I'll have to do something about that. I've been working on some vegetable stew."

"Sounds good," CAT said. "I'm not much of a cook."

She showed him the room. It was a washroom connected to a storage area. "I'm sorry it's so small," she said. "I cleaned out what we were storing in here and put a futon in the storage room. I'll hang up a sheet between the washroom and your room for a door."

"I've slept in smaller places," CAT said. "As long as I can stretch out I'm happy."

She left him to put his things away, and CAT put his clothes and few personal belongings in the empty boxes that she'd left in the corner.

She offered him food, but he decided to check the defenses first.

_I'm glad the Hokage let me volunteer for this, _CAT thought. _I can never really repay Kakashi for what he did for me. I've seen comrades help each other, but I've never seen a 7 year old put his life at stake for a stranger. _


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56

"But Dad, if he's getting better why can't I see Kakashi?" Asuma asked.

The Hokage said, "we talked about this before. You can see him when you get out. Let him rest and heal."

"I'm not going to keep him from resting," Asuma said. "I just want to tell him about my new team."

"I said no."

"But _why?"_

"Because I said so; that's why!" the Hokage said.

Asuma's sulky look changed to an angry one. "Fine!" he said. He stormed into his room, slamming the door loudly.

Sandaime closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _I'll go talk to him later. I think we both need to cool off._

He waited about 10 minutes – long enough for both of them to be ready to talk again. When he knocked on Asuma's door he heard a rude, "yeah? What?"

_That's as close of an invitation I'm going to get right now, _he thought.

He opened the door slowly, afraid that Asuma was going to tell him to leave. Asuma was on his bed. He lay on his stomach reading a comic book.

"We both acted silly there," the Hokage said. He sat on the floor near the bed. "You know I care about you."

"Yeah."

"I don't want you to see Kakashi right now because things might change between you. He's not really acting like himself, and you'd be uncomfortable. It could even hurt your friendship later. Kakashi is going to have to deal with what happened, and it will be better if things aren't awkward between you."

"He's one of my best friends," Asuma said. "That's not possible."

"I wish that was true," his father said. "I had friends when I was younger that are dead now, and a couple that ended up enemies. It can happen. Friendships change and end sometimes."

Asuma scoffed. "Sure, but that won't happen to us," he said.

"I'll make a compromise," the Hokage said. "When I think he's ready I'll let you see him."

"Promise?" Asuma asked.

"I promise," his father said. He barely managed to keep from smiling at the serious look on Asuma's face.

_I remember when the word "promise" meant something unbreakable. I miss those days sometimes._

"Get in bed," he said. "I'll tell you the story about the battle at the end of the world."

Asuma practically jumped into bed. "I love that story!"

The Hokage chuckled. "I know you do. It's a good one."

The next day the Hokage thought about his promise occasionally. _How can I keep that promise? _He wondered. _Kakashi looks horrible, and I don't really know if he's over his problems or not._

RABBIT arrived. "There's been an accident, Hokage-sama. It's just a broken arm; Asuma is having it treated right now."

"What happened?" the Hokage asked, but he was sure it was Asuma's sensei. _I'll kill that damned Uchiha if he did this._

"Asuma had a training accident," RABBIT said. "His sensei wasn't involved. Asuma just didn't block a good kick."

"Do you really mean to tell me that Asuma was injured by a kick?" the Hokage asked. "He's stronger than that."

"His teammate specializes in tai-jutsu," Asuma said.

"You're sure Taru wasn't involved then?" the Hokage asked.

RABBIT hesitated. "He didn't hurt Asuma," he said.

"But?"

"The timing of the injury was odd."

"How so?" Sandaime asked.

"Just as the kick was flying I heard Taru yell at Asuma to block. He might have been trying to instruct him."

"Then how was the timing odd?"

"He really just distracted Asuma. I'm not sure it would have happened without that interruption."

"Thank you RABBIT," the Hokage said. "You are dismissed."

RABBIT bowed. "I failed my duty, Hokage-sama. Forgive me."

"Training accidents happen. I'm going to go check on him."

He felt conflicted as he went to Asuma. _It's hard to believe a simple kick felled him. That Uchiha has to be involved._

He found the room where Asuma was being treated, and he saw Taru sitting by the bed with his back to him. For just a couple seconds the Hokage's hand itched to pull his kunai.

_What the hell is wrong with me? _He wondered. _Training accidents are just accidents._

"Hey Dad," Asuma said from the bed. He was sitting up with a sheepish expression and his arm held awkwardly in front of him.

Uchiha Taru stood quickly, suddenly almost at attention.

"Hokage-sama," he said. "We had a problem training today. No serious harm done."

_What are you? _The Hokage asked. _Friend or foe?_

Everything in him screamed "foe". _I can't let my feelings for his family affect my judgment._

The two locked eyes for a second. Even though Taru's posture was that of respect, and his words weren't aggressive, the Hokage had the feeling that he viewed them as equals.

_The Uchihas think no one stands above them, _the Hokage thought.

"I'll leave him with you, Hokage-sama," Taru said.

"I'll be back for training tomorrow, sensei!" Asuma said.

"You'll return when the doctor says you can return," Taru said. "Learn to respect the expertise of medic nins. Just because they don't fight as well as you doesn't mean they aren't as important."

"Yes, sensei," Asuma said.

The Hokage waited until they were alone. "You like your sensei?" he asked.

"He's the coolest," Asuma said. "I want to be just like him someday."

The Hokage cringed. _I really didn't need to hear that._

"Why is that?" he asked.

He listened to Asuma rattle on about his sensei. _At least he likes him for good reasons, _he thought as Asuma talked about how honorable Taru was. _If all that was true it would be a relief._

"…and he showed me how to cut a leaf in half with air," Asuma said. "I can't do it yet, but he says he'll teach me once I've learned the basics."

That pulled the Hokage back to the present. "What?" he asked. "Does he have an air affinity?"

"Yeah," Asuma said. "He said it's rare."

_There goes that excuse, _the Hokage thought. _I'll have to find another reason to reassign Asuma._

"The arm isn't that bad," Asuma said. "Can I see Kakashi while I'm here?"

_It's hard to say no to a child in a hospital bed, _his father thought.

"I'll visit him first and see how he's doing. If they let you out before I come back wait for me in the lobby."

_I really hope Kakashi is up to this, _he thought. _It would be good for him to have visitors if he's well enough._

"Hokage-sama!" Kakashi said. "I'm glad you came by!"

His eyes were bright, and Sandaime had been a father long enough to recognize a child with cabin fever when he saw one.

"You look a little antsy. Would you like a visitor – someone to break the monotony?"

"Sure. I'm going nuts in here waiting to get out," Kakashi said.

_Bad choice of words, Kakashi, _the Hokage thought. "Going nuts" was exactly what he was worried about.

"Asuma is in the hospital with a broken arm. He wanted to see you, and I thought I'd come by first."

"I haven't seen him since I got here," Kakashi said.

"I wouldn't let him come by yet. I didn't want him to bother you."

"I'll see anyone that wants to come by. I'm doing fine now. Isn't there anyway I can get out now?"

Sandaime sighed. "No, Kakashi. You're a ninja. Practice patience."

"Yes, sir," Kakashi said. To his credit he didn't scowl or pout.

When Sandaime returned with Asuma he decided not to stay. _I'm just being an overprotective father. I don't really think Kakashi will hurt him. Even if he tries anything, CAT can protect Asuma. Kakashi is strong, but CAT could contain him. Asuma is strong too. I have to have faith in him._

He could have walked home or back to work, but instead he found himself heading toward the Uchiha compound. _I can't be doing this, _he thought. _Konoha is even more important than Asuma._

The thought made him feel tight in the chest. _It doesn't have to come down to Asuma or Konoha. It's just one Uchiha. I can deal with this._

Killing Taru wouldn't have been difficult. He might have been a war hero, but Sandaime was the Shinobi God. Taking out one ninja would have been easy for him if he wasn't prepared.

_It's a last resort. I'll try something else first. I just need a reason to transfer Asuma to another team. If I use the accident as an excuse it will just look like I'm overreacting. I can't afford to lose that much respect right now – not after what happened in the council. I'm sure the rest of the council is judging me right now._

He made sure to be home for dinner that night. _Work can wait a bit, _he thought. _I need some time with my son._

Asuma was quiet during dinner. He seemed to be focusing on trying to eat with one hand, but his father could tell he was upset.

"How did your visit go?" he asked.

"I didn't know he was that bad," Asuma said.

"Did something happen?"

"No. He was happy, and he said he's well now. He looks really sick though. I don't like it."

"He had some traumatic experiences, and he just now began to eat regularly. He'll put the weight back on. It's difficult to have a sick friend, isn't it?"

Asuma nodded. "I wasn't worried about him that much. I should have been. I just thought he'd be the same. I'm a bad friend."

"You didn't know," the Hokage said. "I don't think there was any harm done. He knows it was because I wouldn't let you go."

Asuma didn't look any happier.

"Eat your food before it gets cold," his father said.

He waited until Asuma had eaten to ask more questions.

"I already had a report about your accident," he said. "I want to hear what happened from you."

"I didn't block properly in practice," Asuma said. "There isn't much more than that."

"What did your sensei do?"

"He walked me to the hospital," Asuma said. "He was talking the whole way, but I don't remember much of what he said. I wasn't listening. Something about battles and injuries."

_If I didn't know better I'd think Taru cared for him. _

That little voice that corrected him when he was illogical whispered, _but you don't know better, do you?_

He shut the voice out. _This isn't the time to second guess myself._

_But you don't know. You can't judge the man based on his lineage._

He decided to do a bit of spying himself. _I need to know the character of my son's sensei._

It was easy for him to sneak into the Uchiha compound. _They might have the Sharingan, but I have a thousand jutsus. _He doubted there were many ninjas that could have infiltrated the compound.

He made his way through the clean streets. The compound was laid out with precision, and it was obvious that the Uchihas had put the rigidness of their personality as a clan into the compound's planning. The common green had well-maintained topiaries and a playground that might have been new.

_Family is everything to them, _he thought.

He found Taru's address and used a shrinking jutsu that no other ninja had ever mastered. Creating a henge was one thing, but shrinking was something entirely. Body mass couldn't simply be disposed of; it had to be redistributed. What most ninjas did without in-depth knowledge he could do will a full understanding of the technique.

He reached into himself on an atomic level, using chakra quickly to avoid detection. Once he had studied physics enough to understand some of the basic building blocks of the universe he'd realized that matter was an illusion. Atoms were mostly space between electrons, protons, and neutrons. He removed some of the space in the atoms of his body, allowing himself to become smaller.

He allowed himself time to adjust to the disorienting perspective change, and then he created a henge of himself. He appeared to be a moth.

_I'd better not use this long, _he thought. It was a dangerous technique, one that he only used once a year at the most.

_I wish I could still cast jutsus, _he thought, but he couldn't make hand signs in that form. Insect parts didn't bend properly.

They had left the window open in the cool night, but he knew there would be protections placed against intruders.

He fluttered through the window and upward toward the ceiling, narrowly avoiding a spider web. _It would be ridiculous to die like that, _he thought.

Taru and his wife sat at the dinner table drinking tea and talking. He waited until the discussion turned to things he was interested in.

"One of my students had an accident today," Taru said.

"I hope it wasn't serious," his wife said.

"The injury wasn't, but out of all my students it would be Sarutobi Asuma that got hurt. It could be a problem. I'm sure his father is already suspicious of me."

"I wish you hadn't agreed to be his sensei. Nothing good can come of it."

"I thought it through," Taru said. "Asuma might be the Hokage himself some day. He'll at least be a powerful leader. This gives me the chance to influence him. Just because he's descended from the Senjus doesn't mean he can't be a logical, strong leader."

"When has a Senju been anything but trouble to us?" his wife asked.

"When has a Senju had an Uchiha for a sensei instead of an opponent? This is our chance to gain control of the village without having a civil war. It's a long term plan, but if it works Asuma will be like one of us. We can convince him to put our own family in the leadership, and if we do things right the next Hokage after Asuma will be an Uchiha. This isn't just good for the clan; it's good for the whole village."

"Do you really think it can work?" his wife asked.

"I don't know. I really don't care as much about the clan running the village as I do avoiding civil war. The Senjus are too weak to keep control, but they have an ability to gather allies that we lack. The chance to mentor the Hokage's son is too good to pass up."

The Hokage hovered over Taru, hidden in the dark shadows near the ceiling. _It would be so easy to descend and change just over him. If I did that and stabbed downward into his neck I could kill him. He wouldn't be able to react in time._

"There are a couple other reasons I wanted to be Asuma's sensei," Taru said. "There aren't many ninjas with strong wind affinities and only two in the whole Uchiha clan. I'm looking forward to teaching him techniques that are going to be lost when I die."

"I still can't believe you're teaching a Senju your wind techniques," his wife said.

"If one of our kids or grandkids had a wind affinity I would have taught them. I made some of those jutsus myself. I don't want them to disappear."

"How do you know he won't abuse your trust?" she asked. "He might just use those jutsus against our clan?"

"It's a risk," Taru said, "but I see things in Asuma that make me think he's going to be a good man with the right influences. The other students don't pay attention to my lectures, but he soaks up everything I say. He asks me detailed questions. He was really interested in talking about honor and what it means to be a ninja. I like him."

"But he's a _Senju,_" his wife said. "You can't get away from that."

"The Senjus have their own strengths. The actually have a few strengths we lack," Taru said. "Don't repeat that. I don't want the rest of the clan to know I feel that way."

"You always look for the best in everyone," his wife said.

"Thank you."

"I didn't mean it as a compliment," she said. "It's a Senju trait. You have too many of those."

The Hokage saw Taru's grip tighten around his cup.

"I hate when you say things like that. I'm an Uchiha all the way. I want to protect our clan. I don't see the best in people. I look for it; there's a difference. I'm not a naïve little Senju. I just believe that we don't work hard enough to make allies outside our clan. Allies are useful tools."

"Hmmm…" she said. "Sometimes I think I should tell the clan that you have those sorts of feelings."

"They'd kill you too," Taru said. "The way things are going we'd just disappear, or there would be an accident."

"You pulled me into this," his wife said. "I don't hate you for it, but you disgust me when you talk like this."

"You need to hear this," Taru said. "If it came down to it I would fight for the clan against Konoha. I'm loyal."

"Would you kill Asuma?"

The Hokage began to drift downward, positioning himself to drop the jutsu and kill Taru if he gave the wrong answer.

"I'll never kill one of my students," Taru said. "I would gladly die for the clan, but I won't kill Asuma."

"And if you had to?" his wife pressed.

"I'd rather die by his hand than kill my student," Taru said.

"You're loyalties are confused," his wife said. "It disgusts me. I'm going to visit my cousin for a few days."

"Are you coming back?" Taru asked.

"I might," she said. "I don't know."

Taru shrugged. "It doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"

She slammed the door as she left, waking a tabby cat in the corner. It stretched and jumped on the table.

"Hey, Ugly," Taru said to the old tom with a torn ear and too many scars. "You know better than to be on the table."

The cat purred and rubbed his head against his hand as he petted it.

"It must be easier to be a dumb animal," Taru said. "What do cats know of honor? It's a tangled, bumpy road. That woman has no idea of honor."

Ugly licked his hand. "You're more loyal than she ever was," Taru said, "and you're just a furry little jerk."

Ugly sniffed Taru's cold tea and turned away.

"I almost hope she doesn't come back this time. One of these days I'll leave."

"Meow."

"Yeah, I know I won't leave. I have too much work to do to deal with domestic matters."

Ugly rolled over on the table, exposing his stomach.

Taru scratched his belly. "I'd miss her," he said. "She's only like this when the Senjus come up. She'll come back."

Sandaime decided he'd heard enough, and he went back through the window. _It will take too much time to fly out of the compound as a moth. _

He found a dark area behind some communal building and changed back to his normal shape. He could fell himself stretching and reshaping. _I hate that feeling, _he thought. _I have just enough chakra left to use the jutsus I need to get home._

He returned to his office and summoned CROW.

"What are your orders, Hokage-sama?" CROW asked.

"Remove your mask."

CROW did as ordered.

The Hokage told him about Asuma's new sensei, and he described the conversation between Taru and his wife, making sure to leave out how he learned about Taru's motives. He didn't want Itachi to know all his secrets.

"What do you know about him?" the Hokage asked.

"He's one of our heros," Itachi said. "I'm surprised he has sympathy for the Senju clan."

"Are things that bad now? Would an Uchiha really be killed for saying something like that?"

"Taru isn't just any Uchiha. People listen when he talks. The clan loves him."

"What does the clan say about him being Asuma's sensei?"

"They believe him when he says he's trying to influence the future Hokage."

"Keep me informed," the Hokage said.

"Sir, may I speak freely?"

"Of course."

"Uchiha Taru is a good man. I would have been proud to have any connection to him. He might try to persuade Asuma toward Uchiha philosophy, but you could use that to Konoha's advantage. He could be the connection between the two clans instead of me. He wouldn't have to use violence."

"This is hard for you, isn't it?" the Hokage asked.

Itachi hadn't shown any emotion, but now his face assumed the blank look of the ninja. "I am loyal, Hokage-sama. It doesn't matter if it's hard for me."

"What if I told you it matters to me?" the Hokage said.

"I…believe you," Itachi said. "I just don't understand why you'd feel that way."

_I wish I could tell him that I liked him, or that he's a good person underneath, but it would be a lie. I have to tell him the truth. He deserves it. _

"I care about what happens to the children of Konoha," the Hokage said. "You're making more sacrifices than any child ever should have. I would take this burden if I could."

"Can Asuma carry some of that burden?" Itachi asked. "It wouldn't be so hard for him. All he has to do is use the Senju talent for charisma. It will be so much better than having me try to work with them. I'm just an Uchiha – even if I am powerful. He's the Hokage's son, and that gives him a unique position with the clan."

_This is strange to hear from him, _the Hokage thought. _I wonder what's changed._

"Itachi, answer me plainly. You've never talked to me like this before. What changed?"

"Mother lost the baby yesterday," Itachi said.

_I wonder what that has to do with this, _the Hokage wondered.

"I loved her already, and I never even got to know her. If she'd lived and things go the way I think they might with the Uchihas I might have had to kill her someday. I couldn't do it. I could kill any other Uchiha to protect my village, but I don't think I could ever kill my sister."

"I haven't lost hope," Sandaime said. "The Uchiha are still negotiating with me, even if it's tense. As long as there aren't concrete plans for civil war I'll work for a peaceful solution. If I can find any other way I'll spare you this."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," Itachi said. His face slipped into obvious misery for just a second. "But I won't betray my village if you can't find another way."

"I know," the Hokage said. _I've never seen Itachi let his emotion control slip._

"I know you don't think of yourself as a child, but I would offer you some comfort if you'd take it. Even adult ninjas turn to me personally at times. There's no shame in it."

He opened his arms, inviting Itachi to accept his protective embrace. He hoped Itachi would accept what so many people needed from him, the love he felt for his entire village. The father in him rebelled against the idea of using a child like he'd been doing, and all he could do was try to dull the pain.

Itachi took a step toward him and stopped. "I can't do that," he said. "If I allow myself to soften at all I'll die." He put his mask back on.

"May I be excused?" CROW asked.

"Yes," the Hokage said.

CROW moved toward the window.

"CROW," the Hokage said. CROW stopped with one foot on the windowsill. "Good work out there. You're a credit to your village and your clan."

CROW nodded and left.

The Hokage took a sake bottle out of his desk and poured a glassful. He threw back the drink in a few quick gulps.

_I couldn't tell Asuma to sacrifice that much, _he thought. _I'm supposed to put the village first, but I couldn't give up my own son. I'm a hypocrite._


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57

Itachi's family never said much during meals, but the next morning the silence spoke more than words could have.

_I wonder what she would have looked like, _Itachi thought. _Black hair for sure, but she could have had Dad's eyes, just like me._

He chuckled quietly at the irony. _Her eyes would have just given her grief. _The Sharingan was what was causing the Uchiha clan most of their current problems. _If only we weren't so powerful, _he thought. _If we were only as strong as the other clans we wouldn't have gotten so proud._

"What's so funny?" his father snapped.

"Sorry, father," Itachi said. "I was somewhere else in my mind."

"Then come back here," Fugaku said. "You're family needs you."

Itachi glanced at his mother; her eyes were still wet with tears.

"How can I help?" Itachi asked.

"I'm going to volunteer to take some of her duties. You could do the same."

_How can I do this and my work for the Hokage and my Jounin work? _Itachi wondered. _I'm worn out as it is. I'll just have to find a way._

His mother got up and began to clear the dishes. "No," Itachi said. "Let me."

He didn't miss the smile his father sent his way, but it only made him feel guilty. _I'm supposed to bridge the gap between the Uchiha and Senju and I can't even connect with my own father unless my mother almost dies. _

As he looked at his parents grieving he felt a deep sadness as he pictured life without them. _I'll just have to work harder to keep the Uchihas from separating from the village._

He washed the dishes alone, glad of the privacy and grateful to be away from his father's intelligent gaze.

He heard steps that he knew were his father's even without looking. Fugaku placed a hand on Itachi's shoulder. "I convinced her to rest for a while. How are you doing?"

Itachi wanted to be open with his father – to tell him the truth, but he didn't dare. He couldn't even really talk to him about his sister-that-should-have-been. _If I let myself go a bit I'll break open completely, _he thought.

He pulled the strength from deep within himself that the Hokage had put so much faith in. He became who he had to be to protect the village.

"I don't know how to feel about this," CROW said. It seemed like a safe thing to say.

His father looked confused. "I don't like it when you change like that," he said. "I know that we don't show emotion, but your mother is hurt. It's ok to be sad when family is injured."

"Like you were sad when I was so sick I almost died after I used the Sharingan the first time? You didn't care. " Itachi said. _I have to be CROW again, _he thought_. I can't be a child. I have to channel CROW. _

"Is that really what you think?" Fugaku said.

"Don't you remember?" Itachi asked. "You just told me not to stay in bed another day."

"But you don't remember me sitting by your bed during the fever," Fugaku said. "I was so afraid."

"You?" Itachi asked. "You've never been afraid."

"No son. I've never shown fear. I feel it though. Both times you were late coming back from a mission - that time with the Sharingan. When your mother fell I felt like I was falling with her."

"But why didn't you let us know how you felt?" Itachi asked. "We're family. Other Uchihas show emotions. I've seen it."

"For the same reason I told you not to stay in bed. It was more important to take care of you than to allow myself to give in to fear. I wanted you to get well, and getting back to work was the only way you were going to get better."

"You never talked like this before," Itachi said.

"And you're suspicious?" Fugaku asked.

"You're words are soft, but your face barely shows anything," Itachi said. "I don't know what to believe."

"Believe that your mother and I care for you – more than you'll ever know. Don't expect this from me again. I might not be able to do it."

Itachi nodded. "Why now?" he asked.

"Because I know how much you wanted a sister," his father said. "You've changed over the last year or so, and I feel like you're leaving us sometimes."

CROW stepped in. _I'd better watch myself, _he thought. _He's too smart to let my guard down._

"I'm not going anywhere," CROW said. Itachi would have felt guilt, but CROW only felt the need to protect himself from the shrewd man in front of him.

"The Uchiha clan always puts each other first," Fugaku said. "Never forget that. Being the strongest clan means the others are always ready to step into our place. If we let ourselves go they'll cut our throats in a moment."

_As if I ever could forget, _CROW thought. _It's my own personal curse. The clan should have put the village first. Konoha is our family as well._

"I know," CROW said. "I'll never forget."

Fugaku drew a glass of water. "I'm going to get your mother to take some medicine. Don't let your work suffer because of this. If you slip you fall."

It was a favorite saying of his father's. "If you slip you fall" was something he'd been saying for as long as Itachi could remember.

Itachi left to help with his mother's duties. She wasn't physically ill, just depressed, so she hadn't been released from duty. If she'd asked to be relieved it would have been allowed, but Itachi knew she was too proud. _Damn our pride, _he thought.

_I'm glad I don't have to report to Hokage-sama today. Last night I almost let him get close to me. I can't afford that. I'm doing my duty. I'm not required to let a Senju into my soul._

He knew he shouldn't have such feelings, but the Senju were a problem. If the Uchiha didn't seem to be heading toward a civil war he probably would have gone the rest of his life with a vague dislike for Senju softness.

_You can't be soft like them, _CROW said in his mind. CROW didn't usually speak to him directly.

_I know, _Itachi said. _I'm just raw because of sister. I'll be myself again soon._

He was grateful that CROW didn't have anything else to say.

A hawk wheeled above him, and he watched to see what signal it might send. It screamed three times and dipped twice. It plunged as if it wanted to attack prey, but pulled up sharply and flew back to the Hokage tower. It was Itachi's personal signal. Every ANBU and Jounin had one.

Exhaustion threatened to take him, but Itachi knew he had to answer the Hokage's summon.

CROW pushed Itachi to the back of his mind. Itachi could hear and see what was happening around him, but CROW was in charge.

_It's just as well, _Itachi thought. _CROW can handle things better right now anyway. I wonder if all ANBU have someone like CROW inside them._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kakashi read the book on edged weapons, trying to avoid the new ANBU in the room.

_Why did they have to send WOLF? _he wondered. _I can't stand him._

WOLF had barely moved since he entered the room, standing quietly in the corner with erect bearing and a completely ANBU attitude. He could have been a statue for all Kakashi cared.

_That guy has every bad trait a canine can have, _Kakashi thought. He wasn't really reading anymore so much as skimming the pages. There was something wrong in WOLF. Kakashi had seen it on missions. It had never been enough for him to put into a report, but his actions had seemed needlessly cruel at times.

_We're ANBU, _Kakashi thought. _We're all cruel._

But there was a difference between stabbing a man and twisting the knife. That and other things made Kakashi dislike him.

_He's loyal though. I suppose in the end that's the most important thing for an ANBU. We keep each other in line. He can only go so far. The Hokage must have a reason to trust him. _

He gave up on the book, but he kept it open so that he could look at the pictures and think.

_Wait…we? I haven't been ANBU in years. _

He remembered the things he'd done in ANBU. A lot of them were bad – some even horrible – but he'd never felt so connected to any other group, not even the Jounins.

_I guess no one could understand people like ANBU but other ANBU._

He heard a knock, and WOLF moved toward the door. His hand was on his weapon as he opened the sliding port to see out.

"Can I come in?" Kakashi heard Anko ask.

"Only people of Jounin rank and above can see the patient," WOLF said.

"But I've been allowed!" Anko said.

"I have no such orders," WOLF said. "When the Hokage tells me differently you may visit. It's for Kakashi's own protection." He closed the port.

_She's gonna flip, _Kakashi thought. He called out to Anko. "It's just two days. I'll see you then."

WOLF turned Sakumo away later.

"That wasn't necessary," Kakashi said. "I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"I know," WOLF said. "I worked with you. If you wanted to hurt someone they would be hurt."

"Then why did you turn them away?"

"I have my orders from the Hokage. He might have forgotten to mention exceptions to the rule, but I can't take the chance. I always follow Hokage-sama's orders to the letter."

Kakashi grunted, and WOLF returned to his corner.

_He's correct, _Kakashi thought. _He's not being cruel this time – just thorough. I really miss CAT. _

When Jiraiya arrived WOLF greeted him respectfully and invited him in.

"Leave me with him," Jiraiya said.

"I never cared for that one," Jiraiya said after the door shut.

"There's something off about him," Kakashi said.

"There's something off about all the ANBU. That one makes me want to keep him in sight when I'm near him."

"Do you know why they reassigned CAT?" Kakashi asked.

"I haven't heard anything. Do you feel unsafe with WOLF?"

Kakashi laughed. "He couldn't beat me on his best day. He won't go against orders, anyway."

"He's an ANBU," Jiraiya said. "I'm sure he's loyal."

"He'd take a thousand kunai for the Hokage. I know that. He's just unlikable."

"I brought you something," Jiraiya said, pulling some jerky from a pocket. "I figured you might want something better than hospital food, and since you don't like candy I brought some meat."

Kakashi tore into the tough meat. "I'll never complain about any food ever again after this. I think hospital food is almost as bad as field rations."

"I know one thing worse," Jiraiya said.

"That's hard to imagine."

"You ever have to make field ration soup?"

"What's that?" Kakashi asked. "Sounds nasty."

"It's when you're on patrol and there isn't enough food for everyone, so you get some water boiling, then you throw in all the field rations everyone is carrying, and then you throw in whatever plants you can pick or animals you can kill."

"I've eaten some weird things in the woods, but I never did anything like that."

Jiraiya laughed. "You will someday, and you might even appreciate hospital food. I had to eat raw rabbit once because we were in enemy territory and couldn't risk a fire. I got Tularemia and nearly died. If I ever end up like that again I think I'll just go hungry. I thought I'd shit my brains out before it was over."

Kakashi suddenly lost his appetite. He wrapped the jerky in its wrapper and hid it under his pillow in case WOLF decided having outside food was against the rules. "You really give too much detail in your stories sometimes," he said.

"Sorry about that," Jiraiya said with an embarrassed grin. "I guess it's the writer in me coming out."

"Speaking of writing…" Jiraiya said. He pulled the first volume of Icha Icha Paradise out of a pocket. "You want me to read to you?"

"I have to know what happens next!" Kakashi said. "We're so close to the end!"

Jiraiya read to Kakashi for an hour, carefully censoring his own work for young ears.

XXXXXXXXXX

_He really didn't need to summon me for that, _Itachi thought as he went to finish his mother's duties. _He doesn't treat the other Jounins like this. He's only this interested in me because of my age._

She hadn't been assigned to any physical work because of her pregnancy, so Itachi found himself doing paperwork most of the morning.

As the day wore on and Itachi went to his own duties he felt more irritated with the Hokage. _I'm doing everything I can to help the village. He doesn't need to coddle me. It's just making me more tired when he takes my time like this._

He made a few calculations. _If I finish up with the mission quickly and I run a few errands I might be able to get a few hours of sleep tonight._

He felt nauseous for a few seconds and belched. _That's weird. I haven't eaten anything weird lately. I've been tired enough to be sick before. I'd better do something about this. _

The mission wasn't complicated. It was a quick assassination for the Hokage and then clean-up. Itachi didn't even know why the shopkeeper needed to die; the Hokage knew, and that was enough.

He'd been ordered to check the man's store for any incriminating evidence. The Hokage hadn't been specific; he'd just told Itachi that he would know when he saw it. It wasn't unlike the old man to keep as much information to himself as he could. He didn't even tell his Jounins any more than he had to at times.

He found the store and walked in, checking for other customers. The store was empty, and for good reason. The prices on everything were too high. _It's obviously a front, _Itachi thought.

"Can I help you?" the old shopkeeper asked.

"Do you have shoes with lifts in them?" Itachi said. "I wanted to check here before I tried the bigger places."

The shopkeeper's look told Itachi that he'd said the wrong thing. "And what makes you think I'd have those here?"

_Suspicious old man, _Itachi thought. _ He's definitely not a shopkeeper._

"I'm just trying smaller stores first," Itachi said. "I don't want anyone I know to see me buying them. It would be embarrassing."

_I look enough like a civilian kid in this outfit, _Itachi thought. _Why isn't he buying my story?_

"Well I don't sell shoes," the old man said.

"Oh alright," Itachi grumbled. He grabbed a pack of gum and slammed it on the counter. "I'll just take this then."

The man glanced down, and Itachi used the momentary distraction to slit his throat. _He's no ninja, _Itachi thought as he watched the blood drain. _I probably didn't even need to trick him._

He wiped his kunai on the dead man's shirt and began to search. Itachi didn't find anything in the files, but he hadn't expected to. That would have been too easy.

He activated the Sharingan. _I don't see any chakra signatures, _he thought. The dead man's chakra was beginning to dissipate. Itachi tuned his eye to simply take in all the physical details of the scene, and he noticed that a very small amount of dust had been disturbed by one of the walls. It was just a large enough area to have been in front of a door.

He opened the secret door easily, disappointed at the amateur nature of the traps inside. _He could have at least given me a challenge._

Stairs led downward into a small basement, and Itachi found what he'd been sent for. A lab had been built underground, and on one of the sterile tables lay a young man. His leg had been cut open and was held apart by clamps that exposed the muscles.

Itachi didn't bother checking his pulse. There was no blood coming from the leg.

A diagram of the human body lay on a table next to him, and Itachi saw notes on jutsus that were forbidden in most countries.

_So he was a ninja. I guess he neglected learning how to fight. Those scientist types are useless in combat._

Itachi checked the room for hiding places – anywhere the man might have hidden more information about his work.

An upright freezer drew his attention. When he opened it he wasn't surprised to see that a man had been put in the freezer. There was at least one man in there. It could have been more; it was hard to tell since the "shopkeeper" had chopped the corpse or corpses into parts.

_So the Hokage sent me to kill a necromancer, _Itachi thought. _No wonder he didn't tell me. He probably thought I'd laugh at him for being paranoid._

No one in his right mind practiced necromancy. It was too dangerous to use the jutsus. They warped the user so much that all but the most depraved ninjas feared them. Everyone knew the story of Orochimaru's forbidden experiments, and Itachi had heard rumors since then. People said that Orochimaru was a zombie, or that his body was rotting so much that he smelled like a corpse. Someone had even told Itachi once that Orochimaru had grafted animal parts onto himself to replace the ones he'd lost while using necrotic spells. He didn't believe the rumors, but he did think that Orochimaru was probably warped by now.

_It looks like he was working alone, _Itachi thought. _This place only looks like one person has been here. I need to report this immediately._

He moved through the village, hiding in shadows and alleys until they reached the Hokage tower. His heart beat wildly as he thought of the ramifications.

_I only know of one ninja who would use jutsus like that – Orochimaru. Could he really have friends in Konoha?_

He made his report after removing his mask as usual.

"You did well," the Hokage said. "I knew he was an enemy of Konoha. I didn't want to tell you exactly what I suspected so you could get information without me predisposing you toward any of my own theories."

"What are my orders?" Itachi asked.

"None for now. This opens up a few other questions that I need to look into. I don't know how he contacted Orochimaru. I do know that he planned to raise his first body soon. We stopped him from doing that."

"I think he might have been close," Itachi said. "There was a body on a table, and it looked like he was working on it."

"I trust that you sanitized the scene?" the Hokage asked.

"There was an unfortunate fire," Itachi said. "He really should have been more careful with that old gas heater. I made sure all of his books and instruments were destroyed. No one will know what he was doing. A careful examination by a forensics team would show a few murders, but nothing that would point to Orochimaru or us."

He felt dizzy, but he fought it off. _I need to sleep today, _he thought.

"Are you ok, Itachi?" the Hokage asked.

"Yes sir," Itachi said. "I have a bit of a cold."

He knew the Hokage wouldn't believe him, but it was the best he could come up with at the moment.

"You're dismissed," Sandaime said. "Take care of your body."

"Yes sir," Itachi said. He put his mask back on, feeling the strength of CROW return to him.

_I can't go home, _he thought. _I have to sleep, now. Father will know something is wrong, and I don't know if I could fool him right now. If he figures out I've been out every night he'll be watching me._

He had a list in his mind of places that were useful strategically, and he went to the nearest one that was good for hiding. A few blocks away from the Hokage tower there was an old shed that had partially fallen down. The neighborhood was rough enough that no one really cared, and Itachi crawled inside, ducking under fallen rotten timber that was barely holding the place up. A bit of rotted carpet covered a small hole that Itachi had dug months ago in case he needed a place to hide. He had places like this all over Konoha – most ninjas did.

He crawled into the shallow hole that he had lined with a blanket, and he pulled the carpet over himself – making sure to only leave enough of himself visible to breathe. _I've slept in worse, _he thought. He lay still and tried to rest, but he was distracted by the smells of rot and rat droppings. He thought about seeing Kakashi's family gathered around him while he was sick, openly showing love and concern.

Itachi tried to picture his father holding him like Akihiro had been holding Kakashi, and he felt uneasy. _I don't want that,_ he thought. _I wish father was closer to me, but I don't want anything like that. Kakashi is strong in spite of how his family treats him – not because of it. _

He fell asleep and dreamed of training his sister. _I could have been honest with her._


	58. Chapter 58

Chapter 58

The Hokage stormed through the hospital. Konoha citizens were so used to seeing his kindly face that the doctors and nurses were shocked at the way he suddenly owned the hallways. They squeezed against walls, unnoticed by the old warrior.

He stopped in the waiting room when he saw Kakashi's friend Gai. Gai was sitting with his back to the Hokage, but there was no mistaking that haircut and green outfit – even from the back.

Sandaime stopped and calmed himself. _All my young ninjas need my help right now, not just Kakashi and Itachi._

"Hello Gai-kun," he said. "I'm not surprised you're here. I hope you've been sleeping."

"And training," Gai said.

"Good ninja," the Hokage said. "Why don't you wait here? I have a surprise for you later."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Gai said.

He continued to Kakashi's room, but his anger had faded for the moment. Talking to Gai had brought him back down to earth.

He could feel the tension in the room as soon as he entered. Kakashi wasn't saying anything unusual, but his posture and furrowed brow suggested frustration at least.

"You're dismissed," Sandaime said to WOLF.

"Yes sir," WOLF said. "Do you want me to wait outside?"

"No. You won't be needed. Report your mission completed."

"Yes sir." WOLF left, and the Hokage saw Kakashi relax.

"Did you two have problems?" Sandaime asked.

"No sir. Why do you ask?"

"You seem tense. How have you been feeling?"

"I'm fine sir."

"No problems then? No hallucinations?"

"No sir. The medication is working."

"How are you sure?" the Hokage asked. _That might just be wishful thinking._

"The side effects started" Kakashi said, and the Hokage noticed that he looked downward toward the floor.

"There's no reason to be embarrassed," the Hokage said. "I'm sure you'll learn how to deal with them over time, and from what I've been told they can fade."

"I hope so," Kakashi said. "I'm concerned about what's going to happen on the field."

Sandaime didn't ask what problems he was having. _I don't think he wants to tell me. I'll follow my instincts on this one. Kids need their secrets._

"You need to let your doctor know if you have any problems," he said. "That's not really what I came here for though. Pack your things. You're leaving a couple days early."

It was amazing how much Kakashi's face showed emotion even with the mask. "Can I really? I thought I had to stay here the whole two weeks for security reasons."

"If you're not having problems I want to take you out of here today. The Uchihas that left council came back last night. When the meeting began they announced that they were permanently leaving, and that no Uchiha would serve on council again."

"That sounds bad," Kakashi said. "They're too powerful for us to have this kind of breech with."

"It was a power play," the Hokage said. "I've been too lenient with them. They are just a clan, after all. I think they need to be reminded of that. I've been trying to be diplomatic, and keeping you locked up in the hospital version of a jail cell was part of that. I'm going to send them a small message. They might be one of the most powerful clans in Konoha, but they don't call the shots here."

"What do you need me to do?" Kakashi asked.

"We'll stop by and visit Akihiro and Gai, and then I want you to go to a small flower shop called Yamanaka Flowers. You'll probably be watched; it's within sight of the Uchiha compound. The shop is famous for their rare blue roses, and I want you to buy one. Your cover story is that you want to get your mother something special. I want the Uchihas to see you on the street, alone and unrestrained before they wanted you to leave the hospital."

Kakashi just nodded.

"After that you can do what you want. Report to me directly if any of the Uchiha contacts you or if you think you're being followed."

"Yes sir."

"On a personal note, it might not be a bad idea to pick something up for Anko-kun. She's probably had a hard time of it."

"I never meant to cause so many problems," Kakashi said.

"You didn't cause anything," the Hokage said. "This started generations ago. We're just caught in the middle of it." _I hope we're not caught near the end, _the Hokage thought. _I still have a couple aces up my sleeve, and I hope this distracts them enough so that I can use other tactics._

Kakashi quickly threw his things into a pack. He had to carry his books, but he managed to get everything that his friends had brought him together. The last thing he did was retrieve the leftover jerky from under the pillow.

"I see you engaged in some subterfuge," the Hokage said with a smile. _It's always interesting to see what this one will do. He's going to keep me on my toes when he gets older._

"I didn't think WOLF would let me keep it," Kakashi said.

"Probably not," the Hokage said.

Kakashi had to work to keep from running to Akihiro's room. When he opened the door his enthusiasm was dampened a bit when he was reminded how weak Akihiro was after his accident.

Akihiro lay quietly, and Kakashi noticed his half-opened, drugged eyes. _I don't like him being like this, _Kakashi thought. It made him feel sick inside to see him so ill.

Mother stood to hug Kakashi, and he enjoyed the simple, clean smell of her.

The Hokage stayed in the doorway, watching. Akihiro mumbled something from the bed and lifted a hand sluggishly.

"Is he ok?" Kakashi asked Mother.

"He will be," she said. "It's going to take time. He's like this after he's had his medication, but he'll be more awake in an hour or so."

Kakashi saw Akihiro's eyelids flutter and close. "Do I need to come back later?" he whispered.

"He does need to sleep now," Mother said. She pulled the blanket up to his neck. "He doesn't like to be alone when the medication hits. Are you going straight home?"

"I have a few things to do, but I'll come by after I'm finished."

She hugged him again, holding him tightly and kissing his hair. "I'm so glad you're coming home," she said. "I'll try to come home with you later," she said. "We'll have a nice dinner."

"You shouldn't have to cook for us right now," Kakashi said. "You have enough to do."

"Oh, Ibiki's cooking tonight," she said. "Try to pretend to like it if it's not good. He's been doing his best to help out."

"I can help now too," Kakashi said. "I'm sorry it all got put on you."

"Don't push yourself," she said. "I just want to see you and Akihiro get well."

"I couldn't have made it without you," he said. He glanced at Akihiro. "Is there anything I can do to help him?"

"Just stay healthy and visit him," she said. "All he wants out of you is for you to take care of yourself."

"I can do that," he said.

He waited outside while the Hokage talked with Mother.

"That's an amazing woman," he told Kakashi as they walked.

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "I don't feel like I can ever repay her. I hate that I caused them so much pain."

"They love you," Sandaime said. "Wouldn't you do as much for them?"

"Of course," Kakashi said.

"That's what family is about," the Hokage said. "I would do anything for Asuma, or Konoha. It's how being a father works."

They turned a corner, and Kakashi saw Gai sitting in the waiting room.

"Hey, second-place," Kakashi called.

Gai ran to Kakashi and almost knocked him down with a hug. He began to cry. "I've been waiting here as much as the adults let me. My parents wouldn't let me see you, and now I find that you must have needed me. You look like a skeleton. I've failed you, my rival!"

The Hokage tapped Gai on the shoulder. "He's not ill anymore. You might want to let him go."

Gai stepped back and rubbed his eyes. "Let's go spar! I'm going to get you ready to challenge again."

"I have some things to do first," Kakashi said, "but that sounds good. How about a late session – about 10 or so?"

The Hokage cleared his throat. "I think you should put that sort of thing off until tomorrow. You need to rest tonight. I think you need to go home and sleep too, Gai. You seem…agitated."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Gai said, sounding sad.

"Don't take it to heart," Sandaime said. "You two can train tomorrow. You're a good friend and a strong ninja to look after your partner like this."

Gai's smile could have shamed the sun. "Thank you Hokage-sama. I will be worthy of your praise." He put one thumb up in the air. "Yosh."

"Er…yosh then," the Hokage said.

Gai walked with them, chattering all the way about things Kakashi had missed and his new team. "Asuma lucked out the best though. He got a real war-hero. I met him the other day. He's so cool."

They looked up when they heard the Hokage sigh.

"Yes sir?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing," Sandaime said. "I'm just tired." He patted both boys on the shoulder. "Kakashi, go do your errands. Gai, just…keep being you. I'll be leaving you now. I have some things to do."

They watched him go. "That was weird," Gai said.

"Yeah. All of a sudden he seemed kind of sad or something."

"Was it something I said?" Gai asked.

"I don't know. He gets like that sometimes."

"You know the Hokage pretty well, don't you?" Gai asked.

"Yeah. He knows all the Jounin."

"Is he as wise as he seems?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "We talk sometimes, and it's almost like having a grandfather."

"You're lucky," Gai said.

"Yeah. When you make Jounin you'll get to know him well too."

"I will make Jounin someday!" Gai said. "I'll serve my village so well the world will know the Green Beast!"

"The what now?"

"It's what my new sensei calls me," Gai said. "I like it."

"It fits you," Kakashi said.

They reached the Morinos' house. "I wish me could talk more, but I really do have things I need to do today," Kakashi said. "You want to practice tomorrow morning?"

"Sure," Kakashi said. "I can't wait to get back out there."

As soon as he opened the door he smelled something burning, and he saw a layer of smoke near the roof.

"Ibiki?" he called. "Are you here?"

"Yeah," he heard from the kitchen. "We're in here."

Ibiki was putting out a small fire on the stove, and Kakashi saw CAT standing by him with a glass of water. He looked ready to throw it on the stove.

"Don't do that," Ibiki said. "It might hurt the stove, and Mother will be pissed."

Kakashi took a large pot and put it over the fire by smothering it. "What happened here?" he asked.

"We were trying to help out by cooking dinner so Mom didn't have to," Ibiki said. "I guess I'm not very good at it."

CAT smiled and looked embarrassed. "You'd think a man my age would have learned how to cook by now, but unless the wife threw something on I usually just ate what I could come by."

"You must be Kakashi," CAT said. He held a hand out to Kakashi. "I'm Shinrai Yuujin. I'm renting the back room until I can get on my feet."

Kakashi shook his hand. _I guess this is a cover for Ibiki's sake. I'll ask about it later._

"Not quite the welcome home we'd planned," Ibiki said, grinning. He looked away from the shocking stove and at Kakashi for the first time since he'd come home.

"Shit dude. I was too busy putting out the fire to see you. What the hell did they do to you in there?"

Kakashi sighed. "I know I lost weight; I look like a skeleton – blah, blah, blah. Everyone keeps telling me that. I guess I was too upset to eat for a while."

"You think?" Ibiki asked. "You need Mother's cooking, but mine will have to do for awhile. She's down at the hospital with Dad most of the day."

"How bad is he?" Kakashi asked. "I only got to see him twice."

"I've been over there every day, but he's usually asleep or in pain. I think Mother's mostly there because he's depressed."

"I'm back now," Kakashi said. "I'll do whatever I can to help make this easier for them."

"Me too," CAT said. "I just met your mother, but I really like her. I want to help you guys out too."

Kakashi wanted to go to Akihiro immediately, but he had to do what the Hokage had told him to first. "I'm going to do a couple of quick errands, and I'll go to the hospital and visit. I was there earlier, but he was really out of it."

"I'm going to clean this up and try again," Ibiki said.

"How did you even do that?" Kakashi asked.

"Grease is really flammable," CAT said.

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "You two have fun, and try not to burn the house down. I'll be back later. It's good to be home."

"It's good to have you home," Ibiki said. "The place is empty without you."

"I want to talk to you first, Yuujin," Kakashi said.

"Sure," CAT said. "Come on back to my castle."

Kakashi followed CAT to the back room, and they stepped behind the curtain. "What's going on?" Kakashi whispered. "Why are you keeping this secret from Ibiki?"

"I'm here undercover," CAT whispered. "The Hokage sent me to protect your family until Akihiro-san is well. I'm in deep cover though. It's going to be more effective if I appear to be a simple man needing a room to rent. Ibiki doesn't have the security clearance to know why I need to be here."

"I'm glad he picked you," Kakashi said.

"I volunteered," CAT said. "It's an honor. Go take care of your errands. I'll keep an eye out for any problems here. And be careful out there."

Kakashi didn't know where the flower shop was, and he didn't like it when he saw it. The outside was pink with red hearts around the door and on the white shutters. A white picket fence surrounded the yard in front of the store, and red and white roses grew against the walls.

_Blech, _he thought. _It's so girly._

He went in, and he had to cover his nose against the strong floral smell; even the mask wasn't enough to block it out. _Sometimes it sucks to have an almost canine nose, _he thought. He took a moment to get used to what was a stench to him and removed his arm from in front of his nose.

"Can I help you?" a woman asked behind a counter. She was young and thin, with platinum hair and a broad smile.

"I'm looking for something special, and I heard you might have it. Do you have blue roses?"

"We do," she said. "It's our clan's special achievement. They're not only beautiful, but they have the ability to channel chakra for people with a strong earth affinity. The jutsu only works for members of our clan, but we decided they are just too lovely to keep to ourselves."

_I like the Yamanakos, _Kakashi thought. _The Uchihas and Hyuugas hoard their secrets like gold, but these people want to share their clan's achievement with the village._

"I think that's nice," Kakashi thought.

"I can't teach you the jutsus," she said. "I know you could learn it with the Sharingan, but it's forbidden."

"You know who I am then?" Kakashi asked.

"Everyone knows who you are," she said.

_Great, _Kakashi thought. _I bet she's scared of me too. She probably just smiles to make a sale. _

"My younger brother is one of the ninjas you saved in battle. You can have whatever you want in here, free of charge."

_I forgot that there are people who remember me for other things than my freak outs. Konoha does know me for my achievements, at least._

He felt a great weight lift off him.

"I'm glad he lived," Kakashi said.

"Let's get you that rose," she said. She took him out of the store to a large greenhouse. "We don't like to cut the Yamanaka Blues until a customer picks the one they want."

"They're beautiful," Kakashi said. "I don't know anything about flowers, but I like them." They were the strangest roses he'd ever seen, and a deep shade of blue that he'd only seen just before night fell. The petals were so fine they looked like silk, and he almost felt like it might crumble if he touched it.

The sales woman smiled. "Thank you."

"They look like they'd fall apart though," Kakashi said. He touched a petal tentatively.

"They're stronger than they look. Yananakos take these into battle, and they rarely fail us."

"They're a lot like Mother," Kakashi said. "She looks like she'd break, but she's one of the strongest people I ever knew."

"Aren't you the sweet one," she said. She pinched his cheek. "You're going to be a little heart-breaker. I bet I'll be selling you lots of nice flowers over the years, but only buy the Blues for the really special ones, ok?"

_Anko's special, but she wouldn't like anything like this, _Kakashi thought.

He pointed to a large bloom. It was full and at its peak.

"Oh no," she said. "That one won't stay pretty for long. You want a bud. They'll stay beautiful for a long time. You can dry the rose after it starts to wilt, and she can keep it forever. Just hang it upside down in a dry place, and she can remember it."

"I like that," Kakashi said.

She cut a bud and let him smell it. He pretended to smell the rose, but all the flowers just smelled like vegetation to him.

"Now let's see how you want to present it," she said. They went back to the store and she showed him a row of vases.

"I don't know how to choose one," Kakashi said. He had just come here for the Hokage, but now this seemed important. _I want to get her the best one, _he thought.

"I would choose something simple to frame it that wouldn't detract from its beauty," she said.

He looked through the vases and picked a clear one that was slender and plain.

"Good choice," she said. "You might have an eye for this after all."

_I don't want an "eye" for flowers, _Kakashi thought. _Girls do that stuff._

"Thank you," he said.

She put the flower in the vase. "That does look elegant, doesn't it?" Do you want anything else?"

"It looks so alone," he said.

"And your Mother shouldn't be alone?" she asked. He wondered why she was smiling at him like that.

"No. My…guardian is always with her. I can't even think of them apart."

"Describe him to me," she said.

"He's really strong, and he loves us a lot and protects us. Right now he's hurt, but he still only cares about what happens to us; he's one of the most honorable people I've ever met."

"I have just the flower for you," she said. They went back to the greenhouse, and she took him far to the back.

She showed him a white lily that had long petals that were streaked with red. "It's called the Warrior Lily," she said. "Legend says that a great warrior was dying from poison in a field of white lilies after a battle, and he was so honorable and pure that the lilies fell in love with him and pulled his blood into themselves. They took the poison out of his body and cleaned his blood before giving it back to him. It's a lovely story."

"A rare blue rose and a warrior flower. That sounds like them," Kakashi said. "Akihiro's an honorable warrior. _I hope I'm not the poison, _Kakashi thought.

She cut another bud. It looked like it was pure white. "The red shows as it opens. I'm sure they'll like it."

She took him to the vases again and showed him one almost like the first, but bright red. She explained flower food and how to care for them so they lasted as long as possible.

_That's more than I ever wanted to know about flowers, _Kakashi thought. He took a deep breath of fresh air after he stepped outside.

He left with the flowers and took a long look at the Uchiha compound nearby. He'd never paid much attention to it before, but now he wondered if the high fence around the compound looked like a prison. He could see the houses through the chain-link fence, and he wondered how many Uchihas were looking at him right now.

_I'm tired of this, _he thought. _I haven't done anything but accept a gift from a dying friend, and they treat me like I'm a criminal._

He took his time walking to the hospital, checking to see if he was being followed. He wanted to pull up his headband and use the Sharingan for any reason, just to enrage them if they were watching, but he stopped himself.

_I don't need to add to the problems we already have with the Uchihas, _he thought.

His Mother and Akihiro were in the hospital room, and Akihiro was awake. _He looks so tired, _Kakashi thought.

"I brought you these," he said. He told them the stories of the flowers, and he saw Mother wipe her eyes.

"You really are such a kind boy," she said.

Even Akihiro cleared his throat and looked away. "Thank you, son," he said. "That's the first time I've ever gotten a gift like that."

"I came from the house," Kakashi said. "It's all ready for you to come home. The ramp is all up and everything. When can you come home?"

"It's not long now," Akihiro said, "maybe tomorrow. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed and be near my family."

"Ibiki has been trying to cook," Mother said. "With such good sons we'll all be just fine."

Kakashi kissed them both and left. _I understand what Akihiro said. I just want to sleep in my own bed too. And I want to use our own shower. I'm tired of not having any water pressure. There are so many little things I missed._

When he got back he saw that Ibiki and CAT had managed to make a meal. "It's not Mother's cooking," Ibiki said, "but it should be edible."

Kakashi wasn't sure. It looked better than what he'd been eating, but not by much. "What is it?" he asked.

"Tuna casserole," Ibiki said proudly.

It didn't look like any kind of casserole Kakashi had ever seen. "It looks good," he lied. "I wish Mother and Akihiro could be home to eat with us."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "I miss them a lot. I want things to go back to normal."

"Me too," Kakashi said. They fell silent, both of them thinking about how much things had changed.

"Don't be so gloomy," CAT said. "You're finally home, and your parents will be back soon. If we don't burn down the house we can have them a nice meal when they get here. Things will be good for you boys again."

CAT always made Kakashi feel better.

Mother came home for the meal, and she praised Ibiki's bad cooking as if it was gourmet food. He managed to eat some of it, but even Ibiki and CAT didn't seem to like it.

Mother took a shower and packed a few things in a bag. "I can't stay long," she said. "I want to stay with Akihiro tonight. We'll all be home tomorrow or the next day, and things will be better."

"What's wrong with Dad?" Ibiki asked.

"He'll be home tomorrow," Mother asked. "Don't worry too much."

"You've barely been home the last couple days," Ibiki said. "I know something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," she said. "Your father is just…sad. I want to be with him until he comes home. I'm sure he'll feel better once he's here."

"He didn't seem sad when I was there earlier," Kakashi said.

"Your visit cheered him up," Mother said. "You know how hospitals can feel. He's a proud man. It's hard for him to be down this long."

"I understand," Kakashi said. "I hope I never have to be in a hospital again."

"Like that's going to happen," Ibiki said. "You're a Jounin. Even Genins end up in the hospital."

CAT didn't say anything during the discussion. He simply drank the bad coffee and watched them.

After Mother left, CAT said, "you two are lucky to have parents like that."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "Dad's the best. I want to spend more time with him, but Mother keeps sending me home. She thinks I'm not taking care of myself."

Kakashi thought about CATS words. _He is my parent, _he thought. _Can I have two Dads? I don't know._

Kakashi excused himself as soon as they had cleaned the table and dishes. "I'm going to go see Anko. If she finds out I got out and didn't come see her she'd kill me."

CAT was standing behind Ibiki, and he held up a hand and gestured toward the back room. "I'll be in the back," he said. "Your mother left me in charge, so make sure you get home by curfew. When is that?"

"Ten unless we arrange something else," Kakashi said. "It's only 6; I have plenty of time."

"I'm going out to the training field later," Ibiki said. "You should spend some time out there, Kakashi. You probably need to regain your strength."

"I'm working with Gai tomorrow," Kakashi said. "I don't think I'm getting a sensei like the rest of you, so I'll just figure out what to do on my own."

Anko's apartment building was as ugly and worn out as he remembered it. Some of the same people hung about, drinking or just standing around.

"Hey kid," one of them said. "Long time no see." He laughed. "You been chasing the dragon? You look like it."

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing," the man said. "You haven't been around much. I looked after your little friend for you." He sneered.

_Like he could do anything to Anko, _Kakashi thought. He turned his back on the man and walked around the building to her place.

When he turned the corner he saw that her door was open and crossed with police caution tape, and that the police had placed a barrier around her apartment. Two officers were in the apartment making notes, and Kakashi could see that there had been a fire. Water still dripped off the ceiling, and he could see smoke curls. They were faint, but he could tell the fire hadn't been put out long ago.

He stepped over the caution tape, avoiding broken glass and debris. One of the officers turned to him. "You'll have to stay out of the crime scene until we're done with our investigation."

"Crime scene?" he asked. _Please don't say someone killed Anko, _he thought. He remembered the last time he thought Anko was dead. He had been here and seen the Iwa nin.

_At least I know there's not an Iwa nin this time, _Kakashi thought.

"My girlfriend lived here," Kakashi said. "Is she ok?"

"I can't give any information about the person who lived here," the officer said. "My name is Nara Masaru. Give me a way for her to contact you, and if she wants to speak with you she can find you."

"She knows where to find me," Kakashi said. _At least this one isn't an Uchiha, _he thought.

The other officer glanced up and returned to his work. He was sorting through the burnt remains of her futon. Kakashi could see from outside that the fire had taken out her futon and most of her living room. Water dripped and flowed from everything, and he didn't think she could save much. Some things in her bedroom might be salvageable, and maybe a few things in her kitchen – if she was lucky.

_He sounded like she must be alive, at least, _Kakashi thought.

"Do you know anything about this?" Officer Masaru asked.

"There was a guy around the corner that said something about looking after her," Kakashi said. "I thought he was just being weird, but maybe not. I've seen him around here before. I guess he lives here."

"Show me," the officer said.

Kakashi took him to the place where he'd spoken to the man, but he was gone. "Anko has a lot of people who hate her," Kakashi said. "They shouldn't, but they do."

"We'll find out who did this," Masaru said. "You should give me your contact information."

"She knows where to find me," Kakashi said.

"It's not for her," Masaru said. "I want it on file."

"Am I a suspect?" Kakashi asked. "I've been in the hospital for almost two weeks."

"You're not a suspect," Masaru said. "I'm just gathering any pertinent information."

He couldn't get anything out of the officer. _Where would she go? _He wondered. _She doesn't have many friends. Maybe Kurenai?_

He ran to Kurenai's house, trying not to think about the things that might have happened to Anko. _She's really strong, _he thought. _It would be really hard to kill her. I have to have faith in her._

He knocked harder on the door than he meant to, and when Kurenai answered the door she looked confused.

"Kakashi?" she asked. "I thought you couldn't get out of the hospital?" She hugged him. "My parents wouldn't let me visit."

"Anko's apartment burned down and I can't find her," Kakashi asked. "I was hoping she'd come over here."

"I haven't seen her," Kurenai said. "I'll go get Asuma, and you find Gai. There aren't too many people I can think of that she would turn to."

"You'd better go get Gai," Kakashi said. "His parents really don't like me. Bring Gai to my place, and we can plan our next move from there."

"Do you think anyone would really hurt Anko?" Kurenai asked.

Kakashi noticed how frightened she looked. _Does she really not know about Anko and the village? _He wondered. He suddenly realized that as strong as Kurenai was she'd been sheltered from the things he and Anko had assumed were part of reality for years. He and Ibiki had seen the dark side of being a ninja, but for Kurenai it was still mostly theory.

"Yes," he said. "She has a lot of enemies. She might be somewhere else, but I don't know where."

He went to Asuma's place, but no one answered the door. _Where would Asuma be right now? _He wondered. _He's probably training. _

He went to the training fields and found Asuma in field 10, standing in the middle of the field and looking around. He crouched and held his kunai in front of him.

"Hey Asuma!" Kakashi yelled.

"Not now!" Asuma yelled back. "I've almost got her."

Kakashi looked around, but he only saw Asuma on the field. "Got who?" he asked. _His opponent must be hiding. There are enough trees and bushes around her._

Anko sprang from behind a tree and kicked Asuma in the back, knocking him to the ground. "He thought he almost had me," she said. "Keep dreaming, Asuma."

"Anko! You're ok," Kakashi said. "We were worried."

"You shouldn't worry about me," Anko said. "I can take care of myself. I'm glad to see you out of the hospital. Didn't they say you couldn't get out until the full two weeks?"

She offered Asuma a hand up, and Kakashi walked to them. He wiped some dirt from her cheek. "Anko, I have some bad news. There was a fire at your apartment."

"I know," she said. "I left there about 30 minutes ago."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Asuma asked. "I had no idea. I would have done something to help."

"We got to spar some," Anko said. "That's helping. There isn't much else you could do."

"But Anko, someone might have been trying to kill you," Kakashi said. "You can't take something like this so lightly. We have to do something before…"

"Kakashi, you talk too much," Anko said. She pulled down his mask and kissed him, and if he hadn't been so focused on Anko's problem the kiss would have distracted him completely.

He pulled the mask back up. "Not now," he said. "I want to know what happened."

"One of my fans tried to burn my place down," she said. "I assume that's what happened, anyway. It happened one time already. This probably won't be the last time someone tries to burn me out. It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters," Kakashi said. "Where are you going to stay?"

"I'll figure that out later," she said. "I just want to train right now."

"Gai and Kurenai should be at my house about now," Kakashi said. "Come home with me and we can figure out what to do about this."

"I can figure things out on my own!" Anko said. "Don't treat me like I'm helpless."

"I'm not," Kakashi said. "I'm just worried about you."

"Well I don't like it," Anko said.

_Why is she acting like this? _Kakashi wondered. _I know she needs me right now._

"Anko, what happened to your snakes?" Asuma asked.

The defiant look changed to one of pure misery. "Leave me alone!" she said. She turned and walked away quickly.

"Anko wait!" Kakashi said. He followed her, but suddenly she was gone, leaving a log behind her in a substitution jutsu.

Kakashi reached for his headband. _I might be able to find her chakra with the Sharingan. I can at least see if I can find any chakra behind trees or bushes._

Asuma put his hand over Kakashi's. "I don't think she'd like that."

"I can't just let her go," Kakashi said. "She needs me."

"Anko, we'll leave you alone for now," Asuma said loudly. "I know you have to be close enough to hear me. Come find us when you're ready."

"Come on," Asuma said to Kakashi. "Let's go find Gai and Kurenai. They'll want to know that she's ok."

"She's not ok," Kakashi said.

"I'm going to find them," Asuma said. "Catch up with us when you can."

When Asuma was gone, Kakashi pulled the headband up and looked for chakra signatures. There was only one nearby, hidden behind a rock.

"Anko, I know you're here." Kakashi said. "I'm not leaving until we talk."

"Go away," Anko said from behind the rock. "Using the Sharingan is playing dirty."

"I don't care," Kakashi said. "Where are you staying tonight?"

"I don't know," Anko said. "I just wanted to spar and forget about it, and you ruined that."

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said. "I was afraid."

Anko came out from behind the rock. "All the snakes died," she said. "I don't know who did this, but they killed all my snakes."

"I'm so sorry," Kakashi said. He couldn't believe it when he saw Anko begin to cry. _Anko doesn't cry, _he thought.

"I loved them," she said.

"Do you want to come home with me?" he asked. "Your friends are all waiting to see you."

"I don't want them to see me like this," she said.

"You can't always be alone," Kakashi said.

"I'm not alone," Anko said. "I have you."

"Not just me," Kakashi said. "They helped me when I was sick, and I think we'll all have to help each other sooner or later."

"You don't think they'll think I'm stupid?" she asked.

"What? Why would they think that?"

"I don't know," she said. "It's something I worry about sometimes."

"I thought you didn't care about what people think," he said.

"Just a few people," Anko said. "Mostly them."

"I don't think anyone thinks you're stupid. They're waiting on you; let's go now."

He hadn't covered the Sharingan, and when he turned he saw a chakra signature at the far edge of the field. It lay along the ground.

_He's either wounded or hiding, _Kakashi thought. _I'd better find out._

He formed a clone and performed a substitution jutsu, leaving the clone with Anko while he disappeared under the ground. _I love this jutsu that Akihiro taught me, _he thought as he moved underground toward the figure hiding near him. He felt like he was flowing through the ground, but he knew that he was really just pushing it around him with chakra and letting it reform behind him.

He could feel the jutsus fading before he'd gone far. He had experimented with it enough that he knew he'd better get above ground before he simply appeared there when the jutsu finally failed. _If only I had more chakra, _he thought.

He could sense what was happening above and around him, and he rose quickly behind a tree. He could see the figure hiding behind the rock, and he watched as the ninja snuck out and followed Anko and his clone.

_He's good, _Kakashi thought, _but he's not great._

Kakashi followed the ninja that thought he was following him. _I wish I could get a good look at his face. Uchihas look a lot alike in the face. I wonder if he is one._

The ninja followed him almost until they reached his house, leaving as they entered Kakashi's neighborhood.

_He probably doesn't want to risk Akihiro finding out, _Kakashi thought. _I bet not many people would want to get on Akihiro's bad side._

He got close enough to his clone to use the substitution jutsu. _I used about half my chakra doing that, _Kakashi thought. _I need to work more on chakra control. _

He didn't say anything about the stalker. _That's something I'd better save for Jounins or above. The Hokage will want to know about this._

As soon as they entered the house Kurenai squeezed Anko so tight that Anko squeaked.

"You shouldn't hide like that," she said. "We'll back you up; you should know that by now."

"I know," Anko said.

"You can come stay with me," Kurenai said.

"Ok, but no talk about anything fluffy, cute, girly, or adorable," Anko said.

Kurenai held her fingers up and crossed them. "We'll only talk about weapons and scars," she said. "I promise."

Anko laughed. "Ok," she said.

Anko and Kurenai left together. "Girls are so weird," Asuma said.

"They're your girlfriends," Ibiki said. "Don't you understand them?"

"I wish," Kakashi said.

"I quit trying," Asuma said.

"Why bother?" Ibiki asked.

"Quit talking about girls. We should do something," Gai said. "Let's go out and train together! We are the best team ever!"

"Are we a team?" Ibiki asked.

"Sure we are," Gai said.

"How are we a team?" Asuma asked.

"Because we are," Gai said. "We always find each other when we need help, and we always will."

He put his hand out. "Go team awesome!"

Kakashi looked away, embarrassed. Ibiki coughed quietly and Asuma had a bead of sweat run down his forehead.

_I guess I'd better save him, _Kakashi thought. He fist-bumped with Gai. "Go team awesome," he mumbled.

Ibiki and Asuma mumbled something, and Gai left without telling them which field he wanted to go to.

"I'm not saying that in public," Asuma said.

"No way," Ibiki said.

"You know how Gai is. He'll forget about this tomorrow." Kakashi said. _I really hope so. _


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59

The Hokage worked late – as usual – and when he got home Asuma was sleeping. _I miss being able to get a good, honest night's sleep, _he thought, _but that only comes with a clean conscience. I haven't had a clean conscience since I was a Genin._

Asuma stirred. "Dad?" he asked groggily. "Is something wrong?"

_Too many things are wrong, _Sandaime thought.

"Nothing that can't wait until the morning."

Asuma sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I'm awake now. What is it? You look worried."

_I forgot to keep my face calm, _the Hokage thought. _I really am getting old._

"It's nothing for you to be concerned about. How is the arm doing?"

Asuma flexed his arm. "It's good as new. They said to be careful with it for a few days, but they mended it with chakra. Medic nins are amazing."

"They are," his father said. "Never make a medic nin mad. They can make healing hurt if they want."

"How can healing hurt?" Asuma asked. "That doesn't make any sense."

The Hokage thought about the Uchihas and the surgery he was afraid he'd have to do for the sake of Konoha. "The medic nins put their spirit into their healing, and if they're mad it can come through when they heal you. Sometimes healing hurts for other reasons. In order to heal a wound a doctor might have to cut away flesh. They have to save the body, and sometimes they have to cut off a sick part."

"We're not talking about medic nins anymore, are we Dad?"

"I'm just in a strange mood. Go back to sleep."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm sure," his father said.

He closed the door quietly and fetched his bottle of scotch from a high cupboard where Asuma wouldn't find it. He poured himself a double and leaned against the counter, looking at the drink and trying to avoid the obvious.

_Itachi can't do this alone. It might not even be possible, and I have to do what's necessary to protect the village. Asuma could be the one to reach the Uchihas. It might not even cost him anything._

But he knew better. Even if it worked, Asuma would have to become a spy. He'd learn how to be two-faced and superficial.

_He's so young, _the Hokage thought. _But Itachi's just a little older. Asuma is a ninja; I'm going to have to face what he might become because of that, and can I really take Fugaku's son and not ask the same of my own? Why can't the damned Uchihas just deal with the rest of the village like equals? This is all their fault._

He poured another drink, and another. The next thing he knew most of the bottle was gone.

_Fucking Uchihas, _he thought. _We should have never tried to build a village with them. _

He finished the bottle and reached far back into the same cupboard for the pricy bottle of sake he kept there.

_So much for saving it for a special occasion, _he thought. _The night before I might sacrifice my son is occasion enough._

He sunk into self-pity. _We'll lose Itachi because of the damn clan's arrogance, and my son might lose his innocence._

After a tall glass of sake he simply turned the bottle up and drank about a quarter of it quickly.

_None of this would have happened if they weren't so proud. _

He pulled a kunai from one of the many hidden pockets in his robe and looked at it. _I could do it myself, _he thought. _I could spare Itachi and Asuma all of this. If I started at the top and worked my way down I could do it. A few clones here and a genjutsu there would work. They'd never suspect it. I'm the Shinobi God. It's within my power. _

He looked at an empty bottle, wondering where the sake had gone. His demons still haunted him.

_Who am I kidding? _He thought. _I couldn't do it unless I knew they were going to betray the village. I need another drink; Jiraiya always has liquor around his place_. When he stood the room seemed to tilt.

"I can do this," he said, but when he let go of the table he found himself on the floor.

_How did I get down here? _He wondered. The floor seemed to move a bit too. _I'll just stay here for a bit and go to Jiraiya's._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mother was having a better night. _At least most of my family is home. Tomorrow Aki-kun will be back, and things will be right again._

She rolled over and put her hand on Akihiro's cold pillow. She caressed the pillow and pulled it to her. In the dark she could barely see the safety rail on his side of the bed. _Sakumo must have put that in, _she thought. _Akihiro is going to have trouble with him doing things around here._

She went for a glass of water, and she could barely hear the boys' voices in their room. An occasional laugh broke the sound of talking, and even though she couldn't hear the words she could tell they were happy.

She knocked on the door. "Boys," she called. "It's too late to be up."

"Yes, Mother," Kakashi and Ibiki answered. She heard Ibiki snicker about something. "I'm serious," she said. "I want you both to go to sleep. You don't want your father to come home and find you two all worn out, do you?"

She stuck her head in the door, and she saw them trying to untangle their yo-yos. They had managed to get them go tangled in each other that they had formed a tight knot.

"We were trying to make a trick to show Dad," Ibiki said. "It's not working out yet."

"Give it to me," she said. She pulled the toys apart with experienced fingers. "You always did tangle anything up that could be tangled Ibiki. I swear it's some kind of skill."

_It's good to see them happy, _she thought, _but I hate how thin Kakashi is. _"I'm going to get you something to help you sleep," she said.

"I don't need anything," Ibiki said.

"I can sleep," Kakashi said. "I just haven't tried."

She made them some hot milk.

"You drink yours at least, Kakashi," she said. "You need the nutrition." _I need to get some weight on him. I'll have to see about getting some meat – maybe put more butter in his food for awhile._

When she was sure they'd calmed down enough to at least try to sleep she went back to bed. _I'm glad those two have each other, _she thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning Kakashi heard Sakumo's voice in the living room. "I can finish lowering the counter in the kitchen today," he said. "We can rebuild it again when Akihiro is out of the chair."

"I'll let you start," Kakashi heard Mother say.

Kakashi threw on some clothes and was just about to leave the room when Mother knocked quietly and stuck her head in.

"Your father is here," she whispered. "Let's surprise him." She grinned.

_I'm glad she doesn't hate him, _Kakashi thought. _It's either that or she can't resist a good joke._

Ibiki didn't even wake up; he snored loudly.

Kakashi followed Mother into the kitchen, where he saw his father working on a kitchen counter.

"I'll have to cut this off," he said pointing to the top of the counter. "It can be done, but we'll have some trouble when it's time to fix it again."

He had his back to them and didn't see Kakashi behind him.

"It might be easier just to replace the counter-top," Kakashi said.

Sakumo turned so fast he dropped his tools. "Kakashi! You little brat; you should have told me you were out!"

_It's been a long time since I've seen him smile like that, _Kakashi thought. "I think the Hokage got tired of me whining about it every time he came by." _That should be enough of a cover. I sure can't explain why he really let me out. Dad can't be trusted with that information._

He'd gotten used to the idea of his father as a Chunin, but it still made him feel uneasy to outrank Sakumo.

Sakumo was dirty – covered in sawdust and something dark. "Sorry about this," Sakumo said. "I came straight from work. I didn't have time to change."

"Work?" Kakashi asked. "Are you taking missions again?"

"Not really," Sakumo said. "I've been getting into carpentry, and I get enough work to get by on."

"So you're not taking missions? I'm surprised they'll let you do that."

"The mission director doesn't like dealing with me anyway," Sakumo said. "I'm not needed."

"Dad, every ninja is needed," Kakashi said. _I don't like this. _He remembered his uncle telling him that when a ninja quit training he began to die.

"Are you still training?" Kakashi asked.

"Er…"

They didn't notice Mother leave the room.

"Dad, are you still a ninja?"

"That's a lifetime commitment," Sakumo said.

"Do you want to be a ninja anymore?" Kakashi asked.

"That's not something we have to talk about right now," Sakumo said. "You just got out of the hospital. Let's talk about happy things."

Sakumo told him about the dogs and the old sisters. "I want you to meet them," he said. "Just don't eat anything they offer you."

"Do they poison people?" Kakashi asked. "You didn't say they were ninjas."

"No. They just cook really badly. One time Ume made cookies so hard I couldn't bite through them." He laughed.

"Are you happy there?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm as happy as I'm going to be anywhere," Sakumo said. "The people need me, and they aren't the type of people to have bred ninjas, so none of them had family die because of me."

Kakashi felt uneasy.

"What's wrong son?" Sakumo asked.

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "It's just still weird hearing you talk about civilian things instead of missions and weapons." _I don't like it, _he thought.

"We still have a lot to get used to," Sakumo said. "The most important thing is that we're doing it together now."

"So I can see you more then?" Kakashi asked.

"I made my decision when you were healthier," Sakumo said. "I still think it would have been best if you could have distanced yourself from me, but you and Akihiro both need help right now."

"I wouldn't let Akihiro hear you say that," Kakashi said. "He doesn't like being helped much unless he has to take it."

"He's a proud man," Sakumo said. "There's nothing wrong with that."

_Dad used to be like that, _Kakashi thought.

"I wish you would be proud again," Kakashi said.

"Someday, son. Try to be like Akihiro – not me."

"I don't like it when you talk like that," Kakashi said.

"I didn't mean to bother you," Sakumo said. "When I finish this we can get some breakfast."

"I need to go make a report," Kakashi said, "and then I need to check on Anko. Someone caught her apartment on fire. She went to Kurenai's last night, but that's probably not going to last. They don't get along for long."

"Do the police know who did it?" Sakumo asked.

"Not yet," Kakashi said. "Whoever did it had better hope the police find him before I do."

"I'd tell you not to break the law, but I think I'd better just tell you not to get caught."

"I won't," Kakashi said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oy, Hiruzen, wake up," the Hokage heard.

He opened his eyes and closed them quickly with a groan. "Too much light," he moaned. _Where the hell am I? _he wondered. He was laying on something soft, and he'd heard Jiraiya's voice. _Jiraiya must have come over. I'm glad he found me and not Asuma._

"I closed the blinds. Here's some water," Jiraiya said. He snickered.

"It's not funny," Sandaime said.

"Of course not," Jiraiya said.

The Hokage opened his eyes again, and at least the dimmed light didn't make his headache worse. He sat up and took the water, looking around and trying to remember what had happened the night before.

"How did I get here?" he asked. "The last thing I remember was being in the kitchen."

"You found your way over here somehow," Jiraiya said. "You ought to know better than this. Anyone could have killed you."

"Not one of my better ideas," the Hokage said. "Do you have any aspirin?"

Jiraiya handed him two. "You were going on about Asuma and sacrifice. I couldn't make sense of much else."

_I'm never drinking again, _Sandaime thought.

He stood and straightened his clothes, trying to regain as much dignity as possible. "I'm sorry that I intruded last night. Thank you for your hospitality."

"Hokage or not you're my friend, and I want to know what's going on here," Jiraiya said.

"Friend or not that's my own business," the Hokage said.

"You're the Fire Shadow," Jiraiya said. "If you die because you're out on a drunk the village suffers. I offer my services as a ninja. Tell me what's going on."

_I can't tell him about Itachi, _Sandaime thought, _but he knows about the clan's problems_. "It's about the Uchihas," he said.

"I know it's bad, but has it got you this bothered?"

"Did you know that Asuma's new sensei is Uchiha Taru?"

"I didn't, but he's a good man. I've worked with him. He's obsessed with honor."

"We need a bridge between the Uchihas and the rest of the village," the Hokage said. "I'm thinking about asking Asuma to be that bridge."

"It seems straightforward," Jiraiya said. "What's the problem?"

"As a ninja there shouldn't be a problem," Sandaime said. "As the Hokage I should only see the benefits for Konoha, but as his father I hate the idea of asking Asuma to be a spy this young. It's such an ugly life."

"He chose to be a ninja," Jiraiya said. "We all sacrifice in our own ways."

"I know," Sandaime said. "I've sent men to their deaths, and I'd give my own life in a minute to protect Konoha. Someday I'm going to see Asuma in the hospital, or have to help him deal with the death of a comrade. I may even have to stand by his grave. It's just hard to admit it to myself. He's so young."

"You know what you have to do," Jiraiya said.

"I know. He's in a unique position. Because he's my son the Uchihas will want to influence him if they can, and he can influence them over time."

"Then why is this so hard? It's not like you're asking him to do anything dangerous."

"Because my little boy is growing up. Next thing I know he'll be taking the Jounin exams – or god forbid – ANBU. It won't be long before I don't even know him."

Jiraiya sighed. "I feel that way about Kakashi sometimes. I miss the days when fixing a problem just meant saying the right things to make him smile, but I can't do anything about it. Kids grow up, and little ninjas turn into warriors."

"It's been hard for you to watch this happen to Kakashi, hasn't it?" Sandaime asked.

"It makes me glad I never had kids. I can't imagine this much pain again. Once is enough, and I might have to help him with this again as he gets older. The kid's fucked up in the head, and I don't know if he'll ever really get over it."

"I'm sorry Jiraiya. My problems with Asuma aren't nearly as bad. I think I'm too close to the situation."

"You've helped us enough with Kakashi," Jiraiya said. "You know that there are plenty of people there for you and Asuma when you need us."

"Thank you Jiraiya," Sandaime said. "I can't talk to many people about this, but it's good to have at least one friend with high clearance."

"I guess this is what they mean when they say it's lonely at the top," Jiraiya said.

"I guess," Sandaime said.

Jiraiya offered him a scotch. "Hair of the dog that bit you?"

The Hokage tossed the drink back and grimaced. "I guess that's enough self-pity for the morning. It's not going to be fun working with a hangover."

"At least it's not a hangover and an STD. That's a really bad morning after a good night."

"You have the oddest way of being positive that I've ever seen," Sandaime said.

"You have to see the lighter side of things. There's too much dark to look at."

When he got to his office there were already three people to see him. Three ninjas that he'd expected and Kakashi.

He stopped by Rin's desk. "I'll see these and then tell people that I'm unavailable for a few hours. I have some work to do." _I have a nap to take. I swear I'm never getting drunk again._

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

He dealt with routine reports and then Kakashi. "I don't like the way this sounds," he said after Kakashi told him about his stalker. "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure he was real?"

"I'm sure," Kakashi said. "I didn't think it was an Iwa nin. He wasn't that good either. I always imagined the Iwa nin as being at least as good as me."

"Keep an eye on it," Sandaime said. "CAT should be keeping an eye on the house. How is that working out?"

"Ibiki has no idea that Cat isn't a renter. I'm glad he's there."

"Are you settling in well?"

"Yeah. It's kind of weird being there without Akihiro, but I know he'll be home soon. Dad and Oji-Jiraiya are helping out."

"Let me know if you need anything," the Hokage said.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It took time to get Akihiro settled in, and he was ambivalent about the help they'd had to ask for.

"Why do you always smell like sawdust?" he snapped at Sakumo one day.

"I do some amateur contracting," Sakumo said. When Akihiro tried to reach the mustard Sakumo pushed it closer to him.

Akihiro glared while he ate. "What kind of ninja does amateur contracting?" he asked.

"There's too much talking at the table today," Mother said.

The men ate quietly, but she knew it wouldn't last. _Aki-kun will probably be in a better mood later, but I wish he wouldn't bait Sakumo so much. I can't hate someone so pathetic. I wish Aki-kun could see what I see._

What she saw was an older version of Kakashi in the hospital. Even though Sakumo had gained weight instead of lost it, there was the same lost, tired look that Kakashi had at times. _I think Akihiro likes to see that look sometimes. He usually isn't this cruel._

Sakumo insisted on helping Mother clean up. She'd quit trying to stop him about the third time he'd offered. _I'm so tired, _she thought. _There's too much to do today._

It was hard enough to run a household by herself, but she had to help Akihiro with the tasks that he wouldn't let anyone else handle.

_I wouldn't want anyone else to help him that way, _she thought. _It's my right, and no one else's._

"I'll come by tomorrow," Sakumo said. "Do you know when Kakashi will be home?"

_It's always like this now, _Mother thought. _He's completely given Kakashi over to us. I guess it had to happen eventually, but Sakumo seems more like Kakashi's brother than his father._

"He's helping Anko find a new apartment tomorrow. He said he'll be home for dinner. I try to have them around for at least one meal a day."

"I'll come by then," Sakumo said. "I'll fix that problem with the plumbing." He leaned closer to Mother. "I'd do it now," he whispered, "but I think Akihiro is ready to have some time alone with you."

_Diplomatic, just like his son, _she said.

"He's just a little grumpy this morning," she said. "He'll be better after he's had his pain meds."

"I don't let it bother me," Sakumo said. "The least I can do for the man who is raising my son is to ignore some crankiness."

_He's so young to have such a ruined life, _Mother thought.

On a whim she put her hand on his cheek. Sakumo look surprised, but he didn't pull away. "Don't give up, for Kakashi's sake at least," she said.

"Noni?"

"I've lived with two ninjas long enough to know that you're beginning to look like a civilian. Your muscles are losing definition." She poked him in the stomach. "You're getting a pudge too. It's almost as if you've quit trying to be a ninja."

"You're the third persona to say that to me lately," Sakumo said. "If my village needs me I'll serve, but Konoha would be better if I fade away as far as the village is concerned."

"Self-pity won't help you or your son," Mother said. "Why are you bothering with civilian things anyway?"

"Where I live there aren't any ninjas," Sakumo said. "To them I'm a person. Out here I'm just a ghost."

Mother sighed. "You're so much like Kakashi," she said. "Now I have another mopey boy around."

Sakumo smiled, and she knew why Kakashi wore that mask. Sakumo had taken to leaving it off when he was in their house. _I bet this one was a lady killer when he had some confidence, _she thought.

"My mother used to say that the Hatake men were overemotional. I guess it's true. Thank you for putting up with our eccentricities."

"The more I'm around you the more I just see Kakashi when you talk to me. I can't help but care for someone that's so much like my own son. I think you need someone to lift you up right now, anyway."

Akihiro was still at the table reading his morning paper. He folded it neatly when Sakumo came into the room.

"Why don't you come by later and we can train some?" he asked. "I'm healing fast enough that I need to workas much as possible."

"Can you get out of the chair?" Sakumo asked.

"No, but I can work on genjutsu," Akihiro said. He gave Sakumo's stomach a pointed look. "I think you could use a more physical sparring partner though."

Sakumo's cheeks burned red. "I guess I've been letting myself go. Enough people around me have noticed that it must be true."

"Your son deserves better than this," Akihiro snapped. "It's hard not to kick you when you cringe so much. Have some pride, man."

"It would be wrong," Sakumo said. "Every time I try to lift myself up I remember the people who died because of me. The last time I really began to feel good about myself Kakashi got hurt. It's as if the gods took their revenge against me through him."

Akihiro remembered Kakashi constantly apologizing for things he couldn't possibly have caused. "Does depression run in your family?" he asked. "I need to know if this is something Kakashi is genetically disposed to."

"It does," Sakumo said. "Jiraiya managed to avoid that unlucky gene. I hope Kakashi didn't inherit it. I never saw him like this until recently."

"I'll keep an eye on it," Akihiro said.

"Thank you," Sakumo said. "I can't ever repay you for what you're doing for him."

"Repay me by picking your head up. I don't like cringing dogs at my table. I'd dislike you less if I wasn't disgusted with how much you want to wallow in the mud."

"I understand," Sakumo said. He excused himself and left.

"Why are you so hard on him?" Mother asked.

"He makes me so angry," Akihiro said. "He has a young, healthy body and he wastes it because he feels so guilty he can't even really serve Konoha anymore."

"Is that what this is really about?" Mother said. "Is this about your leg?"

"If I wasn't broken down I could protect my own family. Instead I have to have an ANBU live in my house and depend on someone I never wanted to need around here."

"But you offer him advice," she said. "You confuse me."

"It's hard to really hate someone like that," Akihiro said. "When I'm not angry at him I feel sorry for him. That the White Fang could fall like that – it still makes me uneasy. When I was younger…what we did wasn't honorable. I still feel like I need to make up for it somehow, but I'll never be able to really forgive myself for what I did to my other family."

"I know," Mother said," but why is it bothering you now? We haven't talked about them in years."

"Am I really any better than Sakumo? At least what he did was out of concern for a comrade. I can't even say I was being anything but selfish. I need to really forgive him for this. It burns inside. I try for my own sake and Kakashi's, but I've never had so much trouble forgiving anyone for anything in my life."

"I know you'll do what you think is the right thing," Mother said. "You always do in the end."

"You always have faith in me," Akihiro said. "I think that's why I do the right thing."


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60

"So team Taru is taking our first B-rank mission in a few days," Asuma told Kakashi. "The mission director said he's having trouble deciding what to do with us. Before the war Chunins wouldn't have those sorts of missions, but we've done too much to be restricted to C-ranks. We're too valuable to keep from honing our skills. He said this will be an experiment. All the War teams are taking missions like that."

"War teams?"

"That's what they're calling us. You and Itachi and Ibiki are excluded because of how much you dealt with, but the rest of the kids who saw action are getting special treatment. No one really knows where to put us, so I guess they just lump us together."

"Do you know what you'll be doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Not yet. I'm excited. I might be trying for the Jounin exam next year. It's the next step up unless I want to be ANBU, and I don't want to be ANBU. Taru Sensei has been teaching us how to use our affinities, and we're learning how to put chakra into our weapons. It's really useful."

"You're lucky to have such a strong sensei," Kakashi said. _There's no point dragging him into my problems. If he can get some good out of the Uchiha clan then I'm glad for him._

Kakashi heard movement in the living room. "Akihiro is up. I want to check on him."

Asuma stood, but Kakashi told him to stay. "Wait for me here. He's sensitive about stuff right now."

Akihiro was at the table, and Kakashi thought he must have heard him bumping furniture. _He's still not used to that chair, _he thought.

"I heard you in here and I thought I'd see how you were doing."

Akihiro shifted in the chair. "I got out here myself this time with that guard rail. The doctors think I'll be back on the walker in a few weeks."

"That soon?" Kakashi asked.

"It would take a civilian months, but that's the payoff for using chakra and building up a tolerance to pain."

Kakashi didn't say anything about the way Akihiro lay dazed for hours at a time after his daily pain meds. _He must be in a lot of pain then, _he thought. _I have a hard time imagining him taking those pills for anything less. He must feel so helpless; I think he'd feel awkward if I told him that I'll protect him, but I will. No one will hurt my family while he's down._

"Can I do anything for you?" Kakashi asked.

"Fetch me my paper. I'm going to stay here for awhile, and then I'll do my leg exercises. I can get back and forth my myself now – at least that much. It's enough that I have my family home. That makes things better for me."

"I'm glad to be home." He looked at the roses he'd bought for Akihiro and Mother. "I never felt like I belonged somewhere as much as I do here."

"Never forget that this is your home," Akihiro said. "No matter what happens, or how far you may go, or who you might become – this house will always welcome you."

Kakashi brought him a pillow. Even though Akihiro hadn't asked for it, Kakashi could tell by the way he fidgeted that he wasn't quite comfortable.

"Well, let me know if you need anything," Kakashi said. He doubted Akihiro was as strong as he was pretending to be. _But you never know, _he thought. _He is pretty tough. _He went back to Asuma, leaving Akihiro to his paper.

Asuma didn't stay long. "I have to get home. Dad said he wants to talk to me about something, and he looked really serious. He was all kinds of weird last night."

Sandaime was waiting for his son at their house. _I was just being an over-protective father last night, _he thought. _Asuma is smart and capable. I'm not asking him to do that much, really. He's just going to tell me what his Sensei says and try to influence him to make peace with the village. It's probably something Asuma would do anyway._

The anxiety he felt the night before reared its ugly head, but he pushed it down. _We're both ninjas. We chose our path, and I have to see Asuma as a strong ninja and not a child._

"Hey Dad, what's up?" Asuma asked as he let the door slam behind him.

"Don't slam doors," his father said automatically.

"Sorry," Asuma said. He grabbed a box of milk and drank from the carton.

_I should tell him to stop that, _the Hokage thought, _but I'd have to quit doing it myself. Sometimes I think we need a woman around the place – someone to civilize us. As if I'd ever have time to date though._

"You really like your new sensei, don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah," Asuma said. "He's teaching us all kinds of useful things. I want to be that cool when I grow up."

"I had to think a lot about how to talk to you about this. You know that I don't like the Uchiha clan, right?"

"I've noticed," Asuma said. "Taru-Sensei isn't like the rest of them. I've met enough Uchihas to know the difference."

"How is he different?" the Hokage asked.

"I don't know," Asuma said. "He just seems nicer than most of them. I get a lot of strange looks from his family when the team goes to his house. It's like we don't belong in the compound. I don't usually see non-Uchihas there at all."

"The Uchihas are a closed-off clan," the Hokage said. "They don't like outsiders at all. It's actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about. There are tensions between their clan and the rest of the village."

He told Asuma about the founding of the village. "And we've been at odds ever since. Our philosophies just clash too much. I'm concerned that it might come to open conflict unless we can find a diplomatic solution. I have too much history with the clan to be the peacemaker I'd like to be, but I want to reach them; that's where you come in."

"What can I do?" Asuma asked.

Sandaime saw how Asuma had changed. It was almost as if he had entered that room a child but suddenly become a ninja. _That's my boy, _he thought proudly. _I was worried for no reason. Asuma is a strong ninja already. He'll do what he needs to for the village._

"The Uchiha clan loves your sensei, and most of the village respects him. His words carry a lot of weight. I want you to use your relationship with him to influence the Uchiha clan."

"Do you think he has that much influence?" Asuma asked.

"I hope so. I'm sure there are Uchihas who want peaceful solutions, but they aren't going to approach me. It would be political suicide for them – possibly literal suicide too."

"I had no idea it was that serious," Asuma said. "They Hyuugas act as stuck-up as the Uchihas. Why are there so many problems with just this clan?"

"The Hyuugas are just as arrogant, but they haven't forgotten that they're a part of Konoha. The Uchihas think we separated them as a police clan to keep them separate from the village. We only wanted to give them a place of power that could be mutually beneficial. I think it was a mistake now. It might be a mistake that causes war if we can't do something to change their attitudes."

"War? And you really think I can help?"

"You're in a unique position. All you have to do is show them that being a Senju doesn't mean being soft. Once you do that I think they'll accept you, and I know you can do it. Report what you see, and make sure no one knows that you're trying to influence the clan. It will be difficult because you're my son. They'll expect you to be working for me. You might have to seem to be against me at times – whatever you need to do to gain the clan's respect and trust."

Asuma nodded. "I can do it. Sensei likes to talk philosophy anyway."

"If you can do this you'll be the bridge between the clan and the village. You could save hundreds or thousands of lives."

"We go on our first B rank mission soon," Asuma said. "I'll start then."

"This is so high-security you can't talk about it with anyone but me. It's too sensitive. Don't even discuss this with other Jounin."

"I won't. Wait…other Jounin?"

"That's right. I can't ask you to do this without the proper rank now can I?" Sarutobi asked. "You're not quite my little boy anymore, are you? I've seen how you can lead when you need to, and it's time."

"Wow," Asuma said. "I never thought I'd make Jounin this early. I was going to try the test next year, but I've never heard of anyone but Kakashi make it the first time, and he's a genius."

"You're a Special Jounin now. Do you know what that means?"

"Not really," Asuma said.

"There aren't many of them," Sarutobi said. "It means you don't have the full duties or privileges of a Jounin yet; you're a Jounin for this reason only. In a year you can try for the Jounin exams like you planned, and since I choose the Jounins you have a good chance."

He smiled. "You'd make Jounin even if you weren't my son. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Dad," Asuma said. "That means a lot to me."

"You can't tell anyone about this – not your friends or Kurenai. I want to make sure you understand that. This problem is so explosive I can't risk it going public at all."

He pulled out a small pin. "This is your insignia. You can't wear it – of course – but I thought you might want to put it away somewhere safe in your room. You've earned it, and I know you'll earn the full Jounin rank next year and I look forward to pinning it on you publically."

"I'll do my best," Asuma said. "I'll make you proud as my father and my Hokage."

"If you stay on this path you'll make a good Hokage someday yourself, and you'll have the trust and maybe even the affection of the Uchihas. You can use some of the more reasonable ones as council members, and this breach will begin to be gaped."

He approved of the stern, serious look on his son's face. _He's like the rest of his comrades – a child one moment and a ninja the next. He might even be stronger than I am someday._

"Enough serious talk for now," the Hokage said. "I feel like pancakes. You want to get some lunch with your old man?"

"Breakfast in the afternoon?" Asuma asked.

"I'm in a happy mood. I want to celebrate your promotion, but since you're undercover we'll have to settle for a little indulgence. Do you want to invite Kurenai?"

"She's moving Anko into her new apartment," Asuma said.

"That's Kakashi's girlfriend, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Someone burned her place. Kakashi said she found something yesterday. It's a crappy place, but it will do until she takes the Jounin exams next year."

_Orochimaru's student wants to be a Jounin, _Sandaime thought. _That's going to be interesting._

"Your friends are ambitious," Sandaime said. "I approve."

"We all want to be the best ninjas we can be," Asuma said. "We're stronger than most other ninjas here already, and we'll use that for the village."

"I know you will son," his father said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

It didn't take long for Akihiro to get back to his semi-mobile but active self. The day they packed the wheelchair away was a day of celebration for the family. Mother made a cake, and Kakashi and Ibiki made paper chains to hang around the living room.

The Morinos relaxed their rule about Kakashi spending money on them enough to let him buy nice food for the party.

"Let him do it for you," Mother had told Akihiro. "It's a present."

"Ok, but I don't want this to become a habit. I never want him to think we were using him for his money."

"I'm inviting all the family," Mother said. "I borrowed my sister's card table, and we can fit everyone into the living room if we squeeze in a bit."

"How many people did you invite?" Akihiro asked.

"Jiraiya is coming, and Yuujin. I asked Anko, Asuma, Kurenai and Gai too. I invited Sakumo. I hope you don't mind."

"He has become family somehow, hasn't he?" Akihiro asked. "I might not like it, but he's part of us now too. Even black sheep need someone."

"We've been picking up a lot of strays lately," Mother said. She set up the card table and began to lay out paper plates. "I'd like to tell Kakashi this is for him too – for getting well – but he's not comfortable talking about what happened."

The red plastic cups brightened the room. "Happy birthday, dear," she said. "I'm so happy that you had both good things happen on the same day. I have a present for you, but you don't get to unwrap it until tonight." She smirked. "Make sure and don't tire yourself. You'll need the energy later."

Rules were relaxed that night, and everyone chattered happily around the table. Mother noticed that Kakashi sat between Akihiro and Sakumo. _He's still trying to decide who his loyalty lays with. I wish he could understand that neither of them expects him to choose, but he'll figure that out in his own time._

Asuma and Kurenai were predictably together, and Gai and Anko sat near Kakashi. CAT sat off to the side. _Alone as usual, _she thought. _I think that one needs family too. I'm glad he found us._

Sakumo insisted on cleaning up, as usual. _He just wants to be a servant, _Mother thought. _It's too bad that he can't be what he needs to be. _

After everyone had left Akihiro asked CAT to step outside with him.

"Let's get away from the house enough that we won't be overheard," Akihiro said. "I don't want little ears getting curious."

They walked to an oak nearby, and Akihiro leaned against it to take the weight off his leg.

"It's good to see you walking again," CAT said.

"I can protect my family now," Akihiro said. "I wanted to thank you for keeping them safe during all this."

"I guess my mission is done then," CAT said. "I'm going to miss all of you."

"Mother and I were talking, and we wanted to ask you if you'd like to stay. I know the room isn't much, but it's yours if you want it."

CAT smiled. "I'd love that. My cover story wasn't that far from the truth. I really did live alone, and I'd forgotten what it was like to have a family."

He sat quietly with Mother that night, just holding her hand and chatting on the couch. He had just begun to doze when he felt her hand slip into his pants and squeeze him.

He was awake and hard in seconds. "What's gotten into you?" he asked. He kissed her, letting her fondle him. "You haven't been like this for years."

"I could have lost you. It reminds me how much I love you. I was thinking about going to bed early tonight. Do you want to join me?"

_She has that mischievous look, _he thought. _She has plans for me. _"I'm awake now, but I think that's a great idea. I'm a little limited with the knee though."

"We'll just have to experiment then," she said. "I found that old copy of the Karma Sutra I have. There are a few positions that shouldn't bother the knee."

_I am so lucky, _he thought.

Kakashi and Ibiki wondered why they kept hearing weird noises from the other room later. "They're so weird," Kakashi said. "You'd think they'd be tired. I wonder what they do that makes so much noise. I swear it sounds like they jump on the bed sometimes, but only little kids do that."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "We'd get in so much trouble for jumping on the bed. I know. I broke a few slats on my own bed doing it a couple years ago. Mother had a fit."

"Baka, if we jumped on a bunk bed I'd hit my head on your bunk and you'd fall right through onto mine."

The noise stopped suddenly. "Adults are so weird," Kakashi said.

"Yeah, but I'm glad to have Dad around the house being weird again."

"I hear that," Kakashi said. "I hope nothing like that ever happens again."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Asuma made his first report about his sensei a few days later, and his father couldn't help but smile as he watched his small son be so professional about it.

"I don't want to start in too soon," he said. "I've been looking around the compound when the team goes to his house, and I noticed that they keep the place really clean. It looks as orderly as a hospital room."

"It's as rigid as their clan's personality. What else did you see?"

"They have their own training ground, and I saw kids that couldn't be older than three using very basic techniques. They weren't doing anything more than trying to walk on a pond and climb poles with chakra, but it was impressive."

"Did you get to talk to your sensei any?" Sarutobi asked.

"I haven't found a time to talk to him alone that wouldn't be obvious. He talks a lot anyway. He makes us sit while he talks about what he calls "Theory 101." The last lecture was about the history of Konoha. He told the same story you did, but he made it sound different. When he told about the first settling of the village he left out how the clans clashed and made it sound like it was a peaceful decision to make a strong village. If I hadn't already heard about what happened I'd think it was a heroic move by two strong clans to make a place where they could live in peace with each other."

"It does sound like he loves Konoha," Asuma said. "He talked about loyalty and vows."

"Good," his father said. "I like to hear that."

XXXXXXXXXXx

When Rin buzzed him about a visitor later that night the Hokage could only be shocked. _I'll never quit being surprised at what people do sometimes._

Uchiha Taru stepped into the room with all the dignity of an Uchiha.

"This is unexpected," Sandaime said. "Please have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"I'm visiting with my students' parents," Taru said. "Asuma is doing really well, and I thought you might want to chat about his training."

"Of course," the Hokage said. "He talks a lot about his new team. He's been really excited about you teaching them to put chakra into their weapons."

"That takes time, but they're all fast learners."

"I'm glad to hear it. It makes me feel easier knowing that he has direction from a veteran. I'm concerned for the children that saw combat."

"I'm sure it's changed how they'll develop," Taru said. "I think we can help them be functional adults, but I don't think they'll ever really be "normal" if there is such a thing."

_He really does care for the kids, _Sandaime thought. _I wish he wasn't an Uchiha. _

They talked about training and reminisced about old wars. _I bet he's playing me as much as I'm playing him, _the Hokage thought.

They stood and shook hands. "I'm looking forward to my time with the kids," Taru said. "I'll come by every once in a while and let you know how he's doing. You have a fine son there."

"Thank you, Taru-san," Sandaime said.

He told Asuma about their meeting when he saw him. "Don't let it go to your head," he said, "but your sensei praised you today."

"Did he really?" Asuma asked. "That's awesome!"

"He seems like an easy person to like," Sandaime said. "He says he'll come by occasionally. I think our plan is already working."


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61

Ibiki plopped down on the couch by his father the next day. "Is it really ok for you to be using chakra on your leg already?"

"What are you talking about?" Akihiro asked.

"I heard you and Mother last night," Ibiki said.

"Oh, um… I can explain that."

"How come you can jump on the bed and I can't?"

"Yeah. That's what we were doing. Mother and I like to celebrate by jumping on the bed."

"You guys are weird," Ibiki said.

"So tell me about your team," Akihiro said. "How is training going?"

"It's ok," Ibiki said. "I kind of wish they'd give me a real team like Asuma. Gai and I train when he can get the time, but I've been having to spar with Anko mostly."

"Is that bad?" Akihiro asked. "I thought Anko was strong."

"She is," Ibiki said. "She's just hard to deal with. I never know what kind of mood she's going to be in."

"What does her mood have to do with training?" Akihiro asked.

"She doesn't fight well when she's mad at Kakashi, and they argued about something earlier. I don't know what it was about, but she gets really sloppy when she's mad."

"Does she know she does it?"

"I told her, but she doesn't listen. Kakashi is the only one she'll ever pay attention too."

"She'll need to work on that," Akihiro said. 'It could endanger her in the field."

"Her unit defended the interrogators a couple times, and she can fight fine when she's on the field. She just does this during training."

"Isn't there anyone else you can spar with?"

"I like working with Kakashi, but I'm kind of afraid I'll hurt him now."

"He's going to have to do it sometime," Akihiro said. "I think he's stronger than he looks. Why don't you give it a try?"

When Ibiki asked Kakashi to spar later Kakashi jumped at the chance. "It seems like forever since I had a good training session."

"How about we work on genjutsu?" Ibiki asked.

"I really need to work on taijutsu. I worked out as much as I could in the hospital and I want to see what I need to work on. I'm sure I've lost some skill while I was in there."

"Ok," Ibiki said. "If you really want to."

They only fought for ten minutes when Kakashi called a stop. "Are you going easy on me?"

"Of course not," Ibiki said.

Kakashi just stood there.

"Ok, so yeah," Ibiki said. "I can't lie to you."

"What are you doing that for?" Kakashi asked. "You never did this before."

"If I tell you then you'll be mad."

"I might be, but I'm starting to feel pissed right now."

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you if I go all out. You look like I could break you."

Kakashi made a clone that pulled Ibiki underground up to his neck. "You were saying?"

"Fair enough," Ibiki said. "You made your point."

Kakashi walked away.

"Hey!" Ibiki called after him. "Come back here and let me out!"

Kakashi turned and waved. "I'll come back later. I have some things to do. Have fun."

Kakashi walked away, leaving Ibiki trying to figure out how to break the jutsu. He didn't get out until Gai showed up with his team for practice an hour later and dug him out.

"I don't know how he does that jutsu," Gai said after his team dug Ibiki out of the ground.

"I'm going to get him back for that," Ibiki said.

"This isn't like Kakashi," Gai said. "What happened here?"

"He's pissed at me because I went easy on him while we were sparring. He just looks so rough right now. I was afraid I might hurt him."

"It looks like he can still take care of himself," Gai said. "I wouldn't expect anything less from my rival."

"I guess I shouldn't expect anything less from him either," Ibiki said. "I won't underestimate him again."

"I saw him in the cemetery if you want to find him," Gai said. "He looked angry, so I tried to cheer him up, but you know how he gets sometimes."

"Yeah," Ibiki said. "I'll go see if I can straighten things out."

Kakashi was still standing at the monument when Ibiki reached the cemetery. His hands were in his pockets, and Ibiki heard him talking.

_Not this again, _Ibiki thought.

"Hey," Ibiki said.

"Did you figure out how to break the jutsu, or did someone have to get you out?" Kakashi asked with his back to Ibiki.

"Gai got me out," Ibiki said. "That's a great jutsu. Can you teach it to me sometime?"

"Maybe." He turned toward Ibiki, and Ibiki saw his eye twitch. "Say I won though."

"We were supposed to be working on taijutsu, so you didn't really win. You cheated."

"Ninjas cheat," Kakashi said. "We're supposed to do that."

"Fine," Ibiki said. "You won this time, but next time I'm going all out. You won't beat me again."

Kakashi turned back to the memorial stone. "I want to be alone now. I'm not mad anymore; I just wanted to hear you say I won."

"You're a real dork sometimes," Ibiki said. "Are you seeing Obito again?"

"No," Kakashi said. "I just wanted to come here. I come here when I'm upset sometimes."

"You were happy enough earlier," Ibiki said. "What happened?"

"I don't know, Kakashi said. "I just feel sort of shitty sometimes. It's no big deal."

"If you say so," Ibiki said. "Let's spar later, but for real this time."

"Sounds good," Kakashi said.

"Don't stay out late enough to worry Dad," Ibiki said. "We're supposed to be keeping him from getting stressed."

"I won't stay long," Kakashi said.

Ibiki left him at the stone and headed home after picking up some bread at the store. _I know Mother wants to take care of all of us, but maybe I can get her to rest for a while, _he thought. _Yuujin and I can do the cooking, and Kakashi always takes care of the cleaning up. I bet he'll be home in time for dinner. _

"Did you really buy bread?" his mother asked. "Don't you like my bread anymore?" Her eyes grew moist.

"Yeah Mom. I just wanted to save you some time. It takes a long time for you to make it. I know taking care of Dad takes up a lot of your time, so I thought you might like some time to yourself."

"Oh, how sweet," she said. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired and feeling all emotional."

"I know," Ibiki said.

"You're such a good little man," Mother said. She pinched his cheek.

"Stop," Ibiki said. "That's embarrassing."

"I just can't help it sometimes.

Everyone ate the food that CAT and Ibiki made that night, but only Mother bothered to pretend she liked it. The rest of the family managed to get it down, but even Ibiki didn't want to eat the cheap bread he'd bought.

"You want to go outside?" Akihiro asked Kakashi after they ate. "I've missed our talks."

Kakashi and Akihiro took their usual seats after brushing leaves from the neglected chairs. "I'm glad you're back," Kakashi said. "We missed you."

"I missed you too, kiddo," Akihiro said. "Is the medication working?"

"Yeah," Kakashi said. "The Hokage said I can take missions outside the village in a few months if things stay like this."

"I bet you're looking forward to that."

"Kind of. I don't want to leave until I'm sure things are ok here."

"I'm back on my feet, or at least as much as I can be back on my feet. I'll even be at the next council meeting. Not really looking forward to that, but at least I'm getting back out there."

Kakashi kept him talking, just to spend time with him. They watched the sun set and fell silent. When the night breeze finally began to cool the evening, Akihiro said, "I think it's time for bed for me. It's been nice, but I'm not up to a full day running around yet."

_That's not a funny joke, _Kakashi thought. _I don't want to leave them like this. CAT can protect them, and Ibiki's strong, but I couldn't forgive myself if something happened while I was gone._

"And I bet I know what you're really concerned about," Akihiro said. "We'll be fine here if you get called away."

"How did you know that's what I was thinking about?"

Akihiro sighed. "You have the guilty look. I swear, you would blame yourself for a forest fire on another continent. You really have to work on that."

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "I would think the mask would hide more," he said.

"Not from me," Akihiro said. "You may fool the world at times, but you'll never fool your family."

It wasn't until Kakashi was cleaning dishes and trying to scrape off the burnt residue of Ibiki and CAT's latest dinner experiment that he realized how worn out Akihiro had looked.

"Do you think Akihiro is really getting stronger?" he asked Ibiki, who was helping him clean.

"I guess so," Ibiki said. "It's hard to tell while he's on the meds. He's ok sometimes."

"Do you ever he's trying to make us think he's doing better than he is? He seemed weaker tonight than he did today."

"I think he'll be stronger eventually. Don't let him know we know we talked about this. He'll be upset."

"It's too late; he already knows," Akihiro said from behind them.

"When did you get there?" Ibiki asked.

"Can't a man get a drink in his own house without his family plotting?"

"Sorry Dad," Ibiki said. "We were just…"

"I know what you were "just"," Akihiro said. "You two were just discussing how weak and feeble your old father is. Have you decided what kind of casket to buy me yet?"

"It's not like that," Kakashi said.

"Then what is it like?" Akihiro snapped.

"We just want to look after you," Ibiki said.

Akihiro scowled, but then they saw his eyes dull and the scowl leave his face. "I'm going to bed," he said. "Do what you want to."

"We really fucked that up," Kakashi said quietly.

"Yeah. We have to fix this."

"We can talk to him after he wakes up," Ibiki said. "He's probably just down right now."

"I hope so," Kakashi said. "I just wanted to help him feel better."

He didn't sleep much again. _I can't believe I made him feel that bad. He always helps me, and now he thinks I think he's a weak old man._

Kakashi dozed off and on, dreaming about losing his father again. He woke as soon as he heard movement in the living room and jumped up. Ibiki was already awake.

"You want to go first?" Kakashi asked. _He is Akihiro's natural son. It's only fair._

"You go ahead," Ibiki said. "I want to talk to him, but it obviously bothers you more."

"What do you mean?"

"You were talking in your sleep," Ibiki said.

"I need to find a way to stop that," Kakashi said. "It could get me in trouble."

He heard the scrape of a chair and went into the dining room. Akihiro was eating oatmeal, and Kakashi sat down by him with a bowl of the mush himself.

Akihiro stirred the oatmeal and pushed it away from him. "I'm sorry I snapped at you last night. You boys are right to take over. It's how things should work."

"That's not what we meant at all," Kakashi said.

"No, but you're right. Once a man has this sort of injury it's downhill after that. The first time I was young. I'm healing quickly, but I don't think it's going to last. You boys are stepping up; that's good."

"I just meant that we wanted to make sure you were getting well," Kakashi said.

"I know," Akihiro said. "I'm glad we had this talk then." He took his news paper and raised it so that Kakashi couldn't see his face.

"Ok," Kakashi said. "I guess I'll head out then."

"How did it go?" Ibiki asked when he was back in the room.

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "He's acting really weird. He thinks we're taking over for him or something."

"I'll try," Ibiki said.

Kakashi got ready for the morning while he waited for Ibiki. "Well?" he asked when Ibiki finally came in.

Ibiki shook his head. "He started talking about how I was going to be a Jounin and outshine him. It was like he's giving up or something. Mother came in and they just kept looking at each other."

"We did something really bad," Ibiki said.

"Yeah. We'll do something to make it better."

He picked up his pack. "I promised Anko I'd help her find some new furniture, and I have a few things I have to do, but I'll come back as soon as I can."

"I have a mission for the next two days," Ibiki said. "I'll be back as soon as I can too."

Kakashi didn't make it past the living room. Akihiro sat on the couch with a blanket up to his chest. His paper lay in his lap, but Kakashi could tell he wasn't reading it, because his eyes were staring above the paper to some spot on the wall.

"I'm going out," Kakashi said. "I'll be back for dinner, maybe sooner if I can."

"Have a good day," Akihiro said. "Mother wants to cook tonight. I'll see you then."

_He sounds so sad, _Kakashi thought. _This isn't like him at all._

He dropped his pack and sat by Akihiro. "I can wait a few minutes."

Akihiro sighed. "I'm just kind of down right now," he said. "Don't take it to heart ok?"

_He doesn't sound right, _Kakashi thought. _I wish I knew what to say. He always knows what to say to make me better._

He remembered all the times Akihiro had helped him, how he'd held him when he thought the Iwa nin had killed Anko. _I know what would help; I think it's time to break a promise._

"You're the strongest person I know," he said. "You'll be ok Dad."

Akihiro smiled. "Thank you, Son. I will be. It's hard to be hurt for so long. Go do what you need to do."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Kakashi asked.

"You just did," Akihiro said. "I'm glad you think of me that way."


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62

Life slowly returned to normal for the Morinos. It was months until Akihiro was completely recovered, but with the help of CAT, Sakumo, and Jiraiya they never lacked for anything. Ibiki quit trying to cook when his mother was ready to take over, but CAT insisted on helping her. Even though Akihiro didn't need Sakumo's help, he never told him to stop coming over, so Sakumo kept fixing things.

Kakashi and Sakumo were working on a pipe that was clogged one day when Sakumo invited Kakashi to his house.

"I really want you to meet the people I live with," Sakumo said. "And Mitsuko had her puppies. They've already been named, but I thought you might like to see them."

"I'd like to meet them," Kakashi said. "We'll have to do that sometime."

"What about today?" Sakumo asked.

As they walked to Sakumo's house Kakashi noticed the looks they got.

"Don't worry about that," Sakumo said when he saw Kakashi return a scowl. "They're getting better all the time."

"I still don't like it," Kakashi said.

The streets grew narrower and dirtier as they moved on. The nice houses and tidy shops faded into warehouses and boarded up old rotted buildings. They came to a neighborhood that was poorer than Kakashi had ever seen.

A tall, blonde woman waved at Sakumo. "Sakumo-san!" she called. "Thank you for fixing the porch."

She ran to them. "I didn't get a chance to pay you. I was at the hospital with Aunt Juna, and my daughter didn't tell me until today. I should have noticed, but you know how things have been lately. I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached."

"It's no problem," Sakumo said. "All I did was work on the corner where it was rotted."

"Come by the house later and I'll fix you something to eat," she said. "I don't have much money, but we do have some winter squash if you want some. I even managed to get some meat."

"I'll have to do that," Sakumo said. "This is my son Kakashi. I've wanted him to meet some of my friends out here."

"Oh, so you're little Kakashi," the woman said. "Aren't you just the cutest!"

Kakashi blushed.

_He hates when people do things like that, _Sakumo thought. "This is Naomi. She has a daughter about your age."

"You should come with Sakumo and eat with us," Naomi said. "My daughter is very pretty, and she sings like a bird. I'm sure you'll get on like rice and butter."

"That sounds good," Sakumo said. "We have some people to meet, but we'll be back later."

"Rice and butter?" Kakashi asked when the hyper woman went inside.

"She's from Rain country," Sakumo said. "She says some strange things. She's a nice person though, and she cooks good stew."

More people stopped Sakumo on their way to his home. All of them smiled, and some of the women were obviously interested in him.

"They really like you here, don't they?" Kakashi asked.

"I've made a home here," Sakumo said. "They don't hold my failure against me."

"Good," Kakashi said. "It's about time someone just let you live."

The old women crooned over him, and they offered him cookies.

Kakashi took one and ate it dutifully, and Sakumo could hear a distinct "crunch" as he bit into it.

"Thank you," Kakashi said, but as soon as he could get away with it he stuck the cookie in a pocket.

"We're so glad to finally meet you," Rie said. "Sakumo-kun talks about you all the time."

"He's told me a lot about you too," Kakashi said.

Tadao ran into the room and jumped up, putting his feet on Kakashi's chest and almost knocking him down.

"Down!" Sakumo said.

Tadao ignored him and licked Kakashi's face. "I didn't think we'd see you again. Why have you been gone for so long? It must have been years."

Kakashi laughed and scratched Tadao's head. "It just feels like years because you're a dog. Now, down."

Tadao obeyed and sat watching Kakashi with his tail wagging furiously. "Come see the puppies!" he said. "Mitsuko had five, and four of them lived. We even named one Kakashi. Come see!"

He ran into a back room and ran back to Kakashi and barked.

"I think we'd better go before he explodes," Sakumo said.

Mitsuko was suckling the puppies in a washroom. Sakumo had put blankets on the walls to insulate the room, and he'd found an old comforter at a thrift store so she could have a softer bed.

"I'm glad you finally came by," she said.

Kakashi crouched by them. "Can I pet one?" he asked.

"When they're finished." She introduced the puppies, nuzzling each one as she told him their names.

One of the puppies finished and fell away from Mitsuko, its bulging belly making it hard for him to get up again.

"And we named that one Kakashi," she said.

He looked almost identical to Mitsuko, except for his eyes. Kakashi found himself looking into mismatched eyes – one brown and one a brilliant blue.

"Ok, that's funny," Kakashi said.

The puppy yipped and tumbled toward him. When Kakashi held his hand out for him to smell, the little dog licked it.

"He likes you," Mitsuko said. "When he's had time for his food to digest you can hold him if you want to."

Kakashi played with the puppies until Mitsuko told him he could hold one of them, and he picked up Kakashi.

"That's going to get confusing," Sakumo said. "Let's call him Inukakashi."

Inukakashi nipped at Kakashi's mask, pulling it away from his face slightly. "No," Kakashi said. He pulled the fabric out of the puppy's teeth.

Ume and Rin fussed over Kakashi, but he managed to avoid more of their cookies. When they tried to talk him into staying for dinner, Sakumo said, "I've been invited to dinner over at Naomi's. She wants Kakashi to meet her daughter."

"Don't let that one's daughter get her claws in you Kakashi," Rie said.

"Rie! She's just a child!" Ume said.

"Yes, but she's _that one's _child," Rie said.

Kakashi waited until they left to ask about Naomi. "What did they mean about Naomi?"

"They don't like her," Sakumo said.

"Why? She seemed nice enough."

"Naomi is…different," Sakumo said. "She does things that make some people angry. The sisters just don't approve of her."

"What clan is she from?"

"I don't know. She doesn't use her clan name. They kicked her out, and she just goes by Naomi."

"Her whole clan? What did she do?"

"It's not important," Sakumo said quickly. "She doesn't hold my past against me, so I don't hold her past against her."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No. She's just someone I like to be around. She cooks a lot better than the sisters, and I can always get a good dinner after they go to bed if their cooking is too bad to eat."

Dinner was awkward for Kakashi, mostly because Naomi kept trying to explain to Kakashi how wonderful her daughter was.

"You two should go to the park. It's very romantic," she said, winking at Kakashi.

They made it through the rest of the meal with her trying to set her daughter up with Kakashi, and after they left Sakumo chuckled. "Like father, like son, huh?"

"What?"

"Nothing. What did you think of my little village?"

Kakashi looked around at the ramshackle, ugly buildings. "They're nice people, it's just…"

"It's just what?" Sakumo snapped. _He'd better not say anything snobbish or I'll turn him over my knee. _He remembered what the farmer had told him when he was killing hogs. He looked at Kakashi, clean and well dressed – obviously not a part of this world. _Now I really see what that farmer was talking about._

"It's just that they're all civilians," Kakashi said. "Don't you have any friends that are ninjas?"

"Oh, that again," Sakumo said with relief. _I should have thought better of him. _"I don't know why that bothers you so much. These people accept me, and that's all that I really need out of friends anymore."

"But Dad…"

"I can't really quit being a ninja; that's not allowed. If the village ever requires me I'll serve. Until then I'll be happy if they forget me. Did you like anything else?"

"I liked the puppies. I'm glad Tadao has a good mate."

"Me too son. He's a good dog – the best."

He got home late for dinner, but Mother never held that against him if he had a good excuse. "If you were with your father I'll forgive you," she said. "I kept a plate for you in the fridge."

"Thank you," Kakashi said. "I ate something earlier, but I'll take it for lunch tomorrow."

Later that night his stomach growled with irritation. "Stomach problems?" Mother asked.

"The meat had a lot more fat than I'm used to," Kakashi said. "I don't know how Dad eats that way."

_It's probably why he's getting that gut, _Kakashi thought.

"I'm glad you don't cook like that," he said to Mother. "I'd rather have no meat than fat."

"Just because we're poor doesn't mean I can't fix my family healthy meals."

_I wish Dad could find someone to take care of him like Mother takes care of us, _Kakashi thought. _I bet Mom would have, if she'd lived._

He tried to imagine his father older with an old woman looking after him, but he couldn't find a face to fit her.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63

In a few months Akihiro's knee was actually better than it had been before the accident. "It's amazing what they can do now. I wish they'd known some of those techniques the first time I wrecked myself."

"It works a lot better," Ibiki said.

Akihiro was sitting the couch, and he lowered his leg from the stool. "It only aches now when the weather is really bad. We should get out on the training field and see what I can do. I never quit working out, except for the knee. I bet your old Dad could still show you a thing or two."

He chuckled at the awkward look on Ibiki's face. "I was just kidding. Watch this though." He bent his knee almost all the way.

"That's awesome," Kakashi said. He saw what Ibiki didn't as Akihiro's clone rose through the floor and tackled Ibiki from behind. He put his arm around Ibiki's neck and rubbed his knuckles in Ibiki's hair.

"Dad! What are you doing?" Ibiki asked.

"Winning," Akihiro said.

Ibiki couldn't break the grip. "Ok, you win," he said. "Let me up."

Akihiro let Ibiki up, but when he tried to get up the knee rebelled. He sighed and held an arm toward Ibiki. "Help me up," he said.

Ibiki pulled him up from the floor, and Akihiro sat on the couch with a grunt. He pulled his leg up to the stool.

"Ok, so maybe it's not quite as good as I thought it was, but it's still better."

"You have to show me how you did that hold," Ibiki said.

"Let me rest my knee," Akihiro said. "Maybe later. It's not that bad – just locked up on me."

He was back up and moving by dinner, using the walker but moving quickly.

"You're chipper tonight," Mother said as she dished out the meal.

"It's a good day," Akihiro said. "It's the first time I've been able to move so much in decades. I want to do something. I don't really know what – just _something_."

Mother smiled and winked at him. "I'll have to find something for you to do with all that energy."

Kakashi and Ibiki were working on hand seals later in their room when they began to hear noises from Mother and Akihiro's room. They heard the creaking of bed springs and the occasional thump. Mother's rich laughter met their ears, and an occasional high-pitched squeal that sounded like she was having fun.

"What are they doing over there?" Kakashi asked. He heard Akihiro's low voice, but he couldn't make out any words.

"They do that sometime," Ibiki said. "I asked Dad about it years ago. He said they play a game where Mother is a ninja and he's a civilian."

"Why would he want to be a civilian?"

"Beats me, but they like that game a lot. They'll be weird for days. You'll see."

Kakashi heard something he'd never imagined possible. "Dude, did I just hear your Dad giggle?" he asked.

"Huh," Ibiki said. "Adults are weird. Forget that; show me how to speed up the hand seals."

"You're doing it wrong," Kakashi told Ibiki. "Don't make the seals how your sensei taught you. When you make the Dragon seal you already need to be pulling your thumb in for the next seal. There are ways to speed the hand seals – just a bit for each one, but it adds up to a lot of time saved for a complicated jutsu. It could save your life."

"Show me again," Ibiki said.

Kakashi quickly formed four hand seals. "See? I don't move my thumbs from the Dragon seal to the Rat seal. I let them slide. It needs to be more fluid; your seals are choppy."

"It doesn't seem like much," Ibiki said.

"Yeah, but it can speed up a complicated jutsu by a full second or more, and that's enough to mean you win or lose if someone else is casting a jutsu."

"Do it again," Ibiki said.

Kakashi made the seals. Ibiki repeated them, but in the same way he'd always been taught – with each seal being a separate movement. Kakashi finished first.

"And you're dead," Kakashi said.

Kakashi activated the Sharingan. "One more time," he said. "I want to look closer."

He could see Ibiki's fingers move in slow-motion if he wanted to, but that wasn't what caught his attention. He could see Mother's and Akihiro's chakra through the wall that was behind Ibiki. Akihiro's strong chakra signature pulsed, while Mother's was barely visible above him. Kakashi couldn't make out detail, just the vague figures of people through the wall.

_Civilians barely have any chakra signature, _Kakashi thought. _It might be something I need to know later._

"That's odd," Kakashi said.

"What's odd?" Ibiki asked.

"I wanted to look at your hand seals with the Sharingan, and I can see Mother's and Akihiro's chakra signatures."

"Yeah, so?"

"So it doesn't look like much of a game," Kakashi said. "They're just on the bed moving around. I can't see any more than that, but it doesn't look very fun."

"They like it," Ibiki said. "Watch how they act tomorrow."

The next morning at breakfast Kakashi saw what Ibiki meant. Breakfast was usually a lax affair, because Mother wasn't much of a morning person, but Kakashi woke to the smell of fresh bacon.

Akihiro was reading the paper – as usual – but he was humming. _He doesn't do that, _Kakashi thought.

He heard Mother singing in the kitchen. _Is she really singing? _He wondered. It was an old folk song he'd heard before – something about a boy and a girl running away from home.

"I never heard her sing before," Kakashi said.

"Some people do that when they're happy," Akihiro said. "We had a very nice night."

Kakashi watched them during breakfast. _They are acting weird._

Akihiro had a soft look to his face that Kakashi rarely saw. Akihiro often smiled at Mother, but Kakashi thought there was something different that morning.

Kakashi was sitting by Mother, and he saw her leg move. Across the table Akihiro jumped a bit and made a choking sound.

"Are you ok?" Mother asked. Kakashi wondered why she had that sneaky smile. He'd seen that smile before, right before she made a joke or played a good-natured prank.

"I'm fine," Akihiro said. "It was just unexpected." He glanced at Kakashi, and Kakashi saw his cheeks turn red. "I mean, it was an unexpected breakfast."

Kakashi saw Mother's leg move again, pushing the tablecloth. Akihiro was taking a sip of coffee and spilled half of it on the table.

"You seem jumpy this morning," Mother said. Kakashi saw her leg move again. One foot was under the table, and he couldn't see what she was doing.

Akihiro put the coffee down. "Wow," he said. "Suddenly I feel like I want to go back to bed again. I guess I'm more…"

Kakashi saw Mother's leg move.

"_tired," _Akihiro said in a higher voice than normal, "than I thought I was."

"Are you now?" Mother asked with a smirk.

"Yeah. Would you like to take a little nap with me?"

"I think that would be very nice," she said.

"You boys have a good morning," Akihiro said. "I'll see you later."

Mother followed him, singing quietly.

"See," Ibiki said, pulling his father's leftover bacon onto his plate. "I told you they'd act weird today."

"Yeah. I like seeing them happy though," Kakashi said.

"Weren't you supposed to train with your Dad today?" Ibiki asked.

"Crap. I forgot. I hope he's not mad."

It was about that time that Sakumo remembered he was supposed to meet with Kakashi. _Fuck, _he thought. _He's going to hate me. I can't believe I was training Nabu and forgot Kakashi. What kind of father am I? Nabu isn't even any good._


	64. Chapter 64

Chapter 64

"You need to push the chakra through your fingers more," Asuma's sensei said. "You're still too choppy. It's not leaving your palms in a steady stream. The chakra should flow through the palm, into the fingers, and through the weapon. Try it again."

Asuma focused on his chakra, trying to let it flow in front of his hand. He saw the air in front of his weapon waver for a second, and then the board in front of him cracked slightly.

"Much better," Taru said. "Keep at it, and you'll be able to break the board. Air is a lot more powerful than people know."

"When are the others getting here?" Asuma asked.

"We'll talk about that after practice," Taru said.

They worked on his chakra control, but when it got to actual sparring Asuma didn't get much out of it.

"What's wrong sensei?" he asked. "You're not fighting like yourself."

"I'm just distracted," Taru said. "I have a difficult mission coming up."

"We could have put off training," Asuma said.

"I wanted to work out with you kids before I left. I already trained with the others today. I wanted to make sure you had the theory down before I left."

"You don't think you're coming back, do you?" Asuma asked.

"We never know what missions we're coming back from. Most of us have that mission that's going to get us sooner or later, and this one might be mine. I'll give my life for the village or the people I love someday; that's all that matters."

"I hope you come back," Asuma said.

"Me too. We still have a lot of work to do. You kids are talented – but sloppy. Keep working on the chakra control. You can already put the chakra in the weapon; you need to focus on unarmed combat. You never know when you'll be disarmed."

"When are you leaving?" Asuma asked.

"I'm not sure. I'll get the go-ahead from the mission director soon. I wanted you to know that I'm proud of you. You'll make a good Hokage someday."

Asuma made his report that night.

"It must be extreme to have him that rattled," his father said. "I'm going to check this out."

"I know how you feel about the Uchihas, but I really like him, and he's been teaching me a lot," Asuma said. "Can you do something for him?"

"I'll see what I can do," the Hokage said. "I feel like he's been as forward with me as he can be, and I don't have any better influence with the Uchiha clan."

"He's a good guy," Asuma said. "Can't he be more than just an Uchiha to you?"

"He's your sensei, and he's a decorated veteran," the Hokage said. "I'm focused on his clan because it's what our mission is. You'll have this happen over the years. Personal relationships come second to the village."

"I know that," Asuma said.

"In theory," his father said, "but you're learning it in practice now. Just because we like and respect your sensei doesn't mean he's not someone we'll have to act against. That's part of spying, unfortunately. You have to look at the world two ways. You have your own thoughts, and then you have the way your mission requires you to see the world."

"I don't like it," Asuma said. "It feels dishonest."

"It is dishonest," the Hokage said. "That's part of being a ninja. I really didn't want you to learn these things so young, but you're serving your village. I'm proud of you. I'm going to get the mission records and see what he's signed up for. I'll talk to you about it tomorrow."

"Can I wait here? I want to know what this is about."

"I can't let you see the mission assignments, but we can talk about it when I'm finished."

"You said I'm a Jounin now," Asuma said. "Don't I have the clearance?"

His father smiled. "You know, I forgot about that? I guess I'm still not used to it."

He fetched four large files and brought them back to the office. He handed two files to Asuma. "Those are the S-rank missions, and I have the A-ranks. He wouldn't be taking missions below that level."

The mission logs were lines after lines of ninja's names and mission specifications. "There must be hundreds of these," Asuma said.

"There probably are," the Hokage said. "Now you see what my job is most of the time. I do more paperwork than I ever thought was possible. Let's start."

They searched the records for three hours. "His name just isn't in here," Asuma said when he finished. "I looked through it twice."

"I didn't find anything either," the Hokage said.

"What does it mean?" Asuma asked.

"He doesn't have an official mission, and I haven't assigned him to any kind of unofficial mission. It's possible that he's doing something for the Uchihas. I hope not. Anything dangerous enough to make him that bothered must be extreme. It sounds like he really doesn't plan on living through this one."

"Thanks Dad. I hope we can do something for him."

"I'll see what I can do," the Hokage said. "This is over your head. I need you to act like you don't know any of this. As far as the public knows your sensei didn't tell you anything."

"Ok, Dad."

"And don't go home and lay awake thinking about this. You'll have too many missions that are troubleling to let all of them get to you."

"I don't want to end up like Kakashi," Asuma said. "He's a nervous wreck."

"I think that's genetics," the Hokage said. "His father has the same problem occasionally. Fortunately the Sarutobi clan is more level-headed."

Kakashi noticed Asuma's weird behavior the next day. "What's up with you?" he asked.

"Not much," Asuma said.

"Why are you acting strange?" Kakashi said. "You keep staring when we're talking."

"I was just thinking…about Anko's birthday," Asuma said. "It's coming up soon." _That should distract him, _he thought.

"Is it really?" Kakashi asked.

"Dude, you don't know when your girlfriend's birthday is? She's going to kill you."

"How do you know when Anko's birthday is?"

"Kurenai won't shut up about it. I just assumed you remembered."

"There's been a lot going on. No wonder she was acting weird yesterday. I have to get her something."

"You'd better," Asuma said. "She'll hit you if you don't."

"I think I know the place," Kakashi said. "You want to come with me?"

"Ok," Asuma said. "I don't have much else to do right now."

They went to the Yamanako's flower shop. The same sales woman was there that had sold him the blue rose. "Well you're back!" she said. "Did your parents like the flowers?"

"They did," Kakashi said. "I was hoping you could help me pick something else for my girlfriend."

"Tell me about her," the sales woman said. "Is she special enough for one of our blue roses?"

"She's special enough, but I don't think she'd like a rose. She's not like that."

"Tell me about her then."

"She likes snakes a lot, and she gets in trouble, but it's really cool when she does it. She's really pretty and smart. She wears black all the time, but she can't find a store that sells fishnet shirts so she makes them herself."

"She does sound special," the sales lady said. "I think I might know what she'll like."

In a corner Kakashi saw some odd cacti and an ugly, spiky plant.

"I only show these to my more unusual customers. What's your girlfriend's name?"

"Anko."

"I think Anko might like this one."

She picked up the ugly plant. It had open petals that almost looked like they were framed with teeth. Kakashi tried to think how to politely tell her he didn't want it.

"That's ugly," Asuma said.

"I know, but it has a special talent," she said.

"How can a plant have a talent?" Kakashi asked.

"Watch this," she said. She opened a plastic container filled with insects. "I have the kids catch these and pull the wings off." She used tweezers to pick out one of the larger ones, and she put it into the petals.

Kakashi and Asuma watched as the petals closed around the fly. "What just happened?" he asked.

"They're carnivorous," she said. "This one is called a Venus Flytrap. Your girlfriend sounds like she might like something like this."

"She'd love it," Kakashi said. "I wouldn't have thought you'd have something like this here."

She smiled broadly. "Everyone has their dark sides. Just make sure you don't let any of the Aburame clan see it."

"Why not?"

"They work with insects. Carnivorous plants bother them."

"We should have a party," Asuma said.

"I don't think Anko will like that," Kakashi said. "She gets cranky with too much attention."

"What are you talking about? She loves attention."

"She likes people to watch her be crazy. I think that's different."

"Let's do it anyway," Asuma said. "She'll like it."

"Ok," Kakashi said. "I want to give her this anyway. It will be fun to feed it."

They went to Kurenai's house, and she showed them red and blue paper chains she'd been making. "I'm thinking that we can decorate the living room with these, and I have a box of cake mix. It's gonna be so great!"

Kakashi watched Kurenai rush around getting things ready for the party.

"Isn't she awesome?" Asuma asked.

"She's pretty cool," Kakashi said. "Why is she doing all this though? She and Anko don't get along."

"Girls are weird," Asuma said. "She gets upset when they fight, but the next day they're doing something together."

"Who are we inviting?" Kurenai asked.

"I guess us and Gai," Kakashi said. "She doesn't like many other people."

"She likes your dad," Asuma said.

"I'm not inviting my dad to a party," Kakashi said. "You wouldn't bring your dad."

"I guess that would be lame," Kurenai said. "I can't think of anyone else."

"Me either," Kakashi said.

"I guess we're her only friends," Asuma said.

"I guess," Kakashi said. "That's just how she is."

"So when is Anko's birthday?" Kakashi asked.

"Oh Kakashi," Kurenai said. "You have to know that."

"Well I don't," Kakashi said.

"It's Monday," Kurenai said. "Please tell me you're getting her something."

"I got her a Venus Flytrap," Kakashi said. "It eats bugs."

Kurenai wrinkled her nose, "Ewww."

"No, it's really cool," Asuma said. "Anko will love it."

Asuma met with his team the nest day at field five. His teammates Chiho and Fusao were there, but Taru was absent.

Asuma felt a lump in his throat and swallowed quickly. _He's really powerful. I'm sure he'll come back from his mission._

"Did Taru-sensei tell you he'd be gone?" Chiho asked. The wind blew her hair in her face, and she brushed it out of the way impatiently, making the blue streak more noticeable.

_I wish she wouldn't do that, _Asuma thought. _It's silly. This isn't the time to mess with Fusao._

Fusao was distracted by Chiho's flirtation, as always.

"What did he say to you guys?" Asuma asked.

"Not much," Fusao said. "He said he was meeting with us individually, but he didn't say anything about not being here today."

"Maybe he's just busy," Chiho said.

"Yeah, that's probably it," Asuma said. _Why did he tell me and not them?_

"We can still practice," Fusao said. "He said he wanted me to work on basics."

"Yeah," Asuma said. "He said we're sloppy."

They trained together, and Asuma easily beat them both. _I wish I'd been assigned to more equal teammates, but I know they'll get stronger. Taru-sensei said we pull each other up._

He left Fusao trying to get Chiho's attention while she ignored him.

Asuma had to wait to meet with his father. He saw an Uchiha that he didn't recognize come storming out of the Hokage's office.

Rin watched him leave and buzzed the Hokage's office. "Asuma is here. Can you see him now?"

"Gladly," the Hokage said. "Send him in."

"I am so glad to see you," he said when Asuma came in.

"Bad day Dad?"

"Any day I have to deal with Uchihas in my office is a bad day. That one was the chief of police. He was insisting on some ridiculous concessions he claimed were in the name of "justice", but were suspiciously beneficial to the Uchihas.

"Sensei didn't come to practice today," Asuma said. "I'm really worried. He didn't tell Fusao or Chiho about his mission. I wonder why he only told me."

"Maybe you're his favorite," the Hokage said. "Or maybe he wanted to give you some information to protect yourself."

"I'll keep an ear out," the Hokage said. "I've had an ANBU trailing Taru-san for some time now. He should be reporting later. I'll let you know what he has to say. Don't worry too much just yet. The ANBU might have forgotten; it happens to the best of us."

"Dad, ANBU don't forget things about missions."

"You're too smart for your own good sometimes," his father said. "Where can I find you if I need to summon you later?" his father asked. "I want to give you news as soon as I get it."

"I was going over to hang out with Gai."

"Give me his address," the Hokage said.

He sent a summon to RABBIT. "The ANBU will report to me soon. Go have fun with your friend."

Gai chattered on about something, but Asuma wasn't listening.

The Hokage waited, but RABBIT didn't answer the summon. _Something really is wrong, _he thought. He went to the roof to his hawks.

He offered them each a piece of meat, and they watched him intently. "Give an all ANBU and Jounin alert," he said. He opened the cages. "Go."

The birds flew, screaming their challenge into the night. Even though they couldn't be seen in the darkness all the Jounins and ANBU would know the screeching signal, and they'd find their way to the Hokage tower – a massive wave of power that most of Konoha wouldn't even know was on the move.

_Asuma doesn't know about the signal yet and I don't want to involve Itachi in this. He's supposed to be with the Uchiha clan – as far as anyone knows._

He called two of his more intelligent summons – a small capuchin monkey and a chimp. They were two that could talk.

He told the chimp to bring Asuma quickly.

He told the capuchin. "Tell Itachi to stay wherever he is and to get home as soon as he can. Then tell him to come report to me tomorrow."


End file.
